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Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud Order

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Speaker 1: Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before we

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Speaker 1: get started on She's on the Money podcast, I would

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Speaker 1: like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land of

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Speaker 1: which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, acknowledging

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Speaker 1: the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming through

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Speaker 1: as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing and

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Speaker 1: the storytelling of you to make a difference for today

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Speaker 1: and lasting impact for tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: Let's get into it. She's on the Money.

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Speaker 3: She's on the Money.

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Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money podcast that

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Speaker 2: makes personal finance fun, especially on Fridays. It's our favorite

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Speaker 2: day of the week because we get to get the

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Speaker 2: team together and celebrate you our incredible shoes on the

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Speaker 2: Money community. Today, mister is going to be sharing our

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Speaker 2: favorite money wins from the community. Miss Bech Sayed is

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Speaker 2: going to be sharing herbroke tips. This week, We're going

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Speaker 2: to be helping to answer a juicy money dilemma, which

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Speaker 2: this week is all about what to do when you're

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Speaker 2: feeling like you're more your partner's financial manager than their teammate.

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Speaker 2: And we're going to unpack something spicy that you flit

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Speaker 2: into our dams about this week. We're chatting about what's

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Speaker 2: more important helping a friend in need or keeping their

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Speaker 2: secret juicy.

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Speaker 4: So cute.

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Speaker 2: Before we get there, though, miss Bech sayed, how has

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Speaker 2: your week been? Really nice?

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Speaker 5: I moved house, we were evicted. I feel like I

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Speaker 5: mentioned that.

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Speaker 2: It's about to say it's a common theme.

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Speaker 5: It's it feels like it's happened a few times, but honestly,

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Speaker 5: it's just the one move. Actually, yeah, it's been a

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Speaker 5: long long time coming.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and I feel like you've just had property dramas

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Speaker 2: for the last twelve months. Like yeah, it's just it's

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Speaker 2: just frustrating.

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Speaker 5: It's one about it was a share house like more

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Speaker 5: than ten years, so the crap in this house is

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Speaker 5: like outrageous.

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Speaker 2: That's still a bit of a dump, but anyway, and

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Speaker 2: you just know that it would have cost six billion

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Speaker 2: dollars as well, like obviously when the owner bought it

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Speaker 2: was four dollars. But then you just know that the property,

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Speaker 2: even though it's a dank sharehouse, it's probably worth four

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Speaker 2: meal or something. Oh, for sure, and you're just like,

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Speaker 2: how how can I get in on this?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: Totally, but no, it's been really good. I moved in

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Speaker 5: with our old producer. How funny, just up.

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Speaker 4: The Actually yeah, yeah, it's been really really nice.

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Speaker 5: So yeah, just been chilling, haven't been too much.

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Speaker 2: How good by what good company? I love this, I know,

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Speaker 2: I feel like it's right, feels gosh. And she has

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Speaker 2: her cat, got the cat, little cat.

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Speaker 5: I never thought of myself as a pet owner.

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Speaker 2: But Parmazan is your house.

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Speaker 4: Parmazan is my house mate.

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Speaker 2: You are dream my friends.

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Speaker 5: I know, I really am. I really am. But yeah,

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Speaker 5: other than that, that's it. What about you, Jess?

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Speaker 2: Nothing, she's not moving, she doesn't have a new cat

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Speaker 2: house made.

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Speaker 4: No sad about that now. To be honest, I also

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Speaker 4: kind of boring, but like maybe the girls who get

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Speaker 4: it get it. I got a Kindle for Christmas, and

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Speaker 4: I mean it arrived at like February, and so since

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Speaker 4: February I have been reading one singular book series. Not

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Speaker 4: because it takes me a long time to read, but

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Speaker 4: because I started this series. I just picked it up

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Speaker 4: because I watch what the TV show It's called shadow Hunters.

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Speaker 4: It's like, why a fantasy? I do not have like

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Speaker 4: high brow tasting books. Let me mine is trash. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 4: so why fantasy?

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Speaker 2: Actually some research out there, just a buddy in there,

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Speaker 2: please say that the more intelligent you are, the lower

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Speaker 2: level the content you like to consume, and your free

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Speaker 2: time is perfect.

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Speaker 4: I must be the world's smartest person.

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Speaker 2: I'm the world's biggest fan of Real Housewives of Salt

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Speaker 2: Lake City.

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Speaker 4: Of course, perfect sense.

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Speaker 2: You're welcome.

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Speaker 4: I started books. I watched the TV show and then

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Speaker 4: I realized it was books. So I read it and

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Speaker 4: it was a trilogy, and then I was like looking

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Speaker 4: for something similar, and I was like, oh, in the

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Speaker 4: same universe, there's another trilogy. And this happens to me

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Speaker 4: like five times. So I have read It's in the

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Speaker 4: same universe, but it's like an extended timelines. There's prequels,

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Speaker 4: there's sequels, there's anthologies. I have read nineteen books this year.

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Speaker 4: I'm from the same universe. But the problem. The problem

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Speaker 4: is that I finished the.

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Speaker 2: Last book No what are you going to do?

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Speaker 4: Last night? And now I'm like, cause I read every

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Speaker 4: night for bed, It's my little night tatame.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, so cute, what are you going to do?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, I feel like I have this void because I've

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Speaker 4: been so immersed in this one universe. If anyone has any.

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Speaker 2: Recommendation, have a lot of recommendation. Exella, we actually have

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Speaker 2: a book club que. It's very very cute and we

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Speaker 2: all have our little kindles and we go to book club,

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Speaker 2: but we talk about our books of the week. So

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Speaker 2: I have a few recommendations. But if you're anything like me,

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Speaker 2: do you feel like that when you finish a series

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Speaker 2: and there's no like follow on because I'm assuming that

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Speaker 2: you then went, oh, I'm finished, I don't know what

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Speaker 2: to do with my life, and then you found something.

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Speaker 2: Do you feel like right now you just become a

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Speaker 2: non reader again? Because I feel like, Yeah, I go

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Speaker 2: from being like no I'm a reader, like I'm a

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Speaker 2: book where I'm I'm fully in it, like I can

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Speaker 2: read nineteen books too, it's not for me. Yeah, Like

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Speaker 2: I fall off the horse completely and then I'll see

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Speaker 2: my Kindle one day and be like I'm in love

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Speaker 2: with that thing and then I like dive back in. Yeah,

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Speaker 2: I just I can't commit long term though.

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Speaker 5: Remind me kindle is a tablet.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, it's like an e reader. But all it does

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Speaker 4: is the book, which I really like. It's why I

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Speaker 4: read it before bed, because if I read on my

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Speaker 4: phone or on my iPad or whatever, I do get sidetracked.

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Speaker 4: Whereas it's just books, okay really physically nothing else on it.

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Speaker 5: They're already in the doubt. Sorry but sorry, this is

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Speaker 5: the question. They're in the tablet already the book.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you download them like you would. It's kind of

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Speaker 2: like got the kindle at and you download it, kind

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Speaker 2: of like you would download a PDF, and then it

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Speaker 2: appears on your kindle. The thing I like about it

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Speaker 2: is it's not like a bright screen either, kind of

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Speaker 2: looks like you're looking at paper. Oh that's very it's

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Speaker 2: just very low stimulation.

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Speaker 4: That ame so anyone. I was also like, why are fantasy,

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Speaker 4: especially if you've read that series and can recommend something similar.

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Speaker 4: I'm not a smut girl, That's my one thing. All

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Speaker 4: the recommendations I've gotten have been like fantasy smunt, which

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Speaker 4: is not really for you me. That's okay, no judgment,

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Speaker 4: but it's just like I like something a little bit

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Speaker 4: huh what smut?

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Speaker 5: I'm sorry, like dirty, like it's content.

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Speaker 2: Give me those records. Yeah. So that's what we've been

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Speaker 2: reading at Zella, So I'll just filter out the recommendations.

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Speaker 2: I do have a number of other recommendations for you,

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Speaker 2: but I feel like that's a very good conversation topic

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Speaker 2: for me at this point in time, because I hyper

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Speaker 2: fixate on things and right now my kindle and I BFFs.

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Speaker 2: I do have a question, though, Bet you're gonna be like,

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Speaker 2: why is this a question? What font do you choose?

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Speaker 4: I read whatever the default is.

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Speaker 2: I know I.

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Speaker 4: Like it just the brightness because I read in the

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Speaker 4: dark or during the day, But like, I don't really

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Speaker 4: mess around with actually know I've made the big because

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Speaker 4: I'm getting old.

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Speaker 2: Why do you know what FONTAI reading is?

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Speaker 5: Dyslexia funds so good, Jess.

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Speaker 2: It's in your kindle already, you don't have to download it.

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Speaker 2: It makes reading so much easier, Like your eyes just

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Speaker 2: glide across the words. You read so much faster, which, yeah,

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Speaker 2: I don't know is that a good or a bad thing?

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Speaker 2: Reading faster because you finish your books quicker, then you

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Speaker 2: have to find another one, yeah, which is a money

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Speaker 2: lost to read.

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Speaker 5: Quicks Oh true, No, that's true.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 4: How cool do we live in twenty twenty four though,

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Speaker 4: and you can make a book more legible for people

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Speaker 4: with dyslexia by clicking.

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Speaker 3: Isn't that cool?

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Speaker 2: I didn't even know that was something that would benefit me.

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Speaker 2: I thought it looked really weird, But now I'm obsessed. Guys,

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Speaker 2: how's your Weekking? Oh my gosh, this week has been insane.

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Speaker 2: We finally launched the Investing Masterclass, which is Oh my god.

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Speaker 2: I have been working on this for a billion and

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Speaker 2: one years and I'm just honestly so excited for it.

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Speaker 2: But at the same time, I'm so glad I'm no

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Speaker 2: longer talking about it, like, Jess, have I been talking

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Speaker 2: about this since you joined?

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Speaker 4: Literally it's like four years.

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Speaker 2: It's discussing like I feel like I keep being like,

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Speaker 2: how long has it been? Two years? No? Four years?

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, how embarrassing. I have been sitting on

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Speaker 2: this for so long. And I mean at the start

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Speaker 2: it was because I couldn't launch it because I was

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Speaker 2: a licensed financial advisor and that would have constituted me

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Speaker 2: giving personal advice. So not allowed to do it. Now

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Speaker 2: I am, but like life happened, so I was like, oh,

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Speaker 2: I'm getting married, I'm having a baby, I'm doing life

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Speaker 2: like everything was too busy and I wanted to do

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Speaker 2: it myself. I didn't want someone else to swoop in

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Speaker 2: and be like, oh, hey, you know Jess would have

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Speaker 2: been like, oh, do you need help with that. I'm

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Speaker 2: kind of like, no, I do it myself. When I

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Speaker 2: say I do anything myself, Jess, what happens. Nothing gets done,

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Speaker 2: adhd gets in the way, and that is absolutely fine.

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Speaker 2: But we've had the best week. I feel like all

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Speaker 2: of our friends are joining the course. It launches on

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Speaker 2: the thirtieth of September, so like, right now it's for sale.

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Speaker 2: You can go and sign up, and like there's only

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Speaker 2: a very limited period of time that you can sign

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Speaker 2: up to the course because it starts on the thirtieth,

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Speaker 2: and then we're not letting anyone else in so that

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Speaker 2: I can focus on that cohort. But surprisingly, so many

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Speaker 2: of you messaged and said, hey, can you like bundle

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Speaker 2: up your money master class and you're investing master Class together. Jess,

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Speaker 2: I wish I'd thought of that, say last, but we

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Speaker 2: have bundled it together so that if you sign up,

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Speaker 2: you can do the Money master Class now waiting for

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Speaker 2: the thirtieth of September, so that when the thirtieth of

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Speaker 2: September comes, you can start doing the investing course and

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Speaker 2: you've kind of got your financial house sortid. I just

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Speaker 2: feel like this month is the month for the investing girls.

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Speaker 2: I'm just so excited about it.

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Speaker 4: It's your finances, yeah, but.

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Speaker 2: Like also, let's get really ridiculously rich. I'll obviously pop

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Speaker 2: all the information in the show notes, but if you

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Speaker 2: don't want to go to the show notes, just use

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Speaker 2: the Code podcast and we'll give you a sweet little discount,

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Speaker 2: which we are all here for. Let's jump in though,

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Speaker 2: jess what community money wins have you brought to the table.

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Speaker 4: Already this week? I'm going to start off with one

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Speaker 4: from Emily, who said she received an email from the

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Speaker 4: company that she bought her pram from recently to do

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Speaker 4: a review for the chance to win back the cost

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Speaker 4: of the pram. Being a new mum, everything super tired,

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Speaker 4: so she figured why not, she didn't have anything to lose.

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Speaker 4: So expensive, so expensive, And then she checked her email

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Speaker 4: a few weeks later and turns out she'd won.

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Speaker 2: WHOA.

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Speaker 4: She said it was so exciting and loved that they

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Speaker 4: already had the prem they knew that they liked it,

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Speaker 4: but now it is free.

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Speaker 2: That's such a good money.

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Speaker 4: Well, I love hearing when people win those types of

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Speaker 4: competitions because in my mind, no one ever know true.

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Speaker 5: I'm saying, I'm like, who's winning these?

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Speaker 4: It's like the magazine not pleasing right, or like the

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Speaker 4: at the bottom of the receipt, you know, fill out

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Speaker 4: a survey like does anyone ever win these?

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Speaker 2: Emily went rue, when's macas monopoly coming back? That is?

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Speaker 2: I think, so.

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Speaker 4: Yess is obsessed gold Mac is on the way home. Next,

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Speaker 4: I got money when from Denay, who said her elders

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Speaker 4: plays netball and went to the state age competition. Earlier

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Speaker 4: in the year. One of the other mums had sent

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Speaker 4: her through a link to apply for a grant towards

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Speaker 4: the costs, so she thought she'd give it a go,

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Speaker 4: and she had an email saying they were successful and

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Speaker 4: will receive six hundred and fifty dollars towards the cost

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Speaker 4: of the trip this week.

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Speaker 2: Six hundred and fifty bus. That's a good deal.

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Speaker 4: And I wanted to say, because I was in activities

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Speaker 4: kid like, I did a lot of activities.

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Speaker 2: As a try say that.

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Speaker 4: Yeah, history kind of tracks, but I remember that we

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Speaker 4: used to get a lot of grants through our local council,

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Speaker 4: and I know that it's so expensive with kids doing activities,

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Speaker 4: So I just wanted to say, if you're a parent,

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Speaker 4: check your local council because a lot of the time

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Speaker 4: there's government fundings like kids in sports and kids in arts,

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Speaker 4: and those things can kind of make it a little

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Speaker 4: bit easier on you. So check you local council website. Next,

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Speaker 4: I've got a money in from Katie. Actually I have

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Speaker 4: a few money into that were all in the same themes.

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Speaker 4: I'm going to bundle the all together, so I have

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Speaker 4: one from Katie Bundlewin, one from Nellie and also one

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Speaker 4: from Zerra or Zara. I'm really sorry z e aia

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Speaker 4: zero zero beautiful now love it. I hope I got

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Speaker 4: that right, Sorry if I didn't. But all tax themed.

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Speaker 4: So Katie did her taxes for last year and this

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Speaker 4: year she's feeling very relieved to have it done. Nellie

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Speaker 4: said she received her tax return, she paid off her

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Speaker 4: can put something savings, and also shop the sales calls

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Speaker 4: this week and managed to save herself a whole bundle

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Speaker 4: with her tax refund, and Zira got her tax back

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Speaker 4: and she had enough to pay off her after pay

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Speaker 4: pay off a whole extra month of her car finance,

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Speaker 4: and she had money left over to cover some of

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Speaker 4: her bills while she's doing an unpaid placement.

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Speaker 2: Right, How good is that, Queen? Would that feel though?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, that's satisfying.

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Speaker 4: Oh that's so nice. Tax people doing tax things. We

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Speaker 4: love to see being responsible with that tax money. Well, baby,

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Speaker 4: that is that.

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Speaker 2: An attack on Beck? Yeah? What are you doing with

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Speaker 2: your money? Beck?

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Speaker 5: Even pick up on that at all?

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Speaker 2: I'm glad I, Jess would never actually put that down.

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Speaker 2: We all know that. I was just like thinking at

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Speaker 2: the same time, I'm like, look at these people being

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Speaker 2: really responsible, and like, I'm just living my life with

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Speaker 2: my values. You got some fun.

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Speaker 5: I did blow a little bit, Jess. You would not

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Speaker 5: like to see the inside of my car right now.

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Speaker 5: I keep telling me to pay off my fines, and

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Speaker 5: you know it is like that one window in my

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Speaker 5: car that's just duct tape because it was broken, and

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Speaker 5: on that on the inside is like a wall of

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Speaker 5: new parking fines and I think.

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Speaker 2: It's all over sticking them to the d.

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Speaker 4: I think it's any friend of you one, But I.

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Speaker 2: Actually do want a photo.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, I should have used that tax money to pay

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Speaker 5: for those fines. But I didn't, and I'm sorry, but

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Speaker 5: I just I don't have that kind of breaks, like

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Speaker 5: I actually am who I am so just God. But

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Speaker 5: what i can control is where I park, and so

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Speaker 5: I'm going to start doing that.

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Speaker 4: Stop stoping them up, please try and stop giving me anxiety.

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Speaker 2: Honestly, at this point, I'm not give me the fines.

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Speaker 2: Give me the log into your bank account. You're like,

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Speaker 2: oh no, no, no, no, you won't find much in the.

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Speaker 4: Lastly, this week, I have a money when from Laura

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Speaker 4: who said she applies I had for recognition of prior

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Speaker 4: work as credit towards her university degree for the upcoming semester.

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Speaker 4: She wasn't sure if it would work. But if you

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Speaker 4: don't ask, you don't get. And today she got a

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Speaker 4: notification saying that her application was approved.

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Speaker 2: Me. Good.

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Speaker 4: She's gonna save over two thousand dollars that would have

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Speaker 4: gone on her helped deb because she doesn't have to

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Speaker 4: take the credits again. And it's taken a big mental

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Speaker 4: load off of her as well.

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Speaker 5: Great, that's so good.

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Speaker 2: Prior work.

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Speaker 4: I didn't know that you could transfer like I knew

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Speaker 4: that you could transfer some course credits because my partner

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Speaker 4: did that when he went from sports science to physio,

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Speaker 4: and even that he had to actively, like I remember

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Speaker 4: it being a bit of a pain in the arse,

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Speaker 4: like it wasn't a simple thing, but it was the

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Speaker 4: same type of deal. I think it saved him a

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Speaker 4: semester or two because.

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Speaker 2: I've just done this because as you guys know, like

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Speaker 2: I don't actually have a lot on at the moment.

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Speaker 4: I'm a busy no no.

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Speaker 1: No no.

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Speaker 2: So I was at work the other day and I

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Speaker 2: was a little bit jealous because all the girls their

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Speaker 2: mortgage brokers. I'm not a mortgage broker. I owned the

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Speaker 2: mortgage broking company, and like I could probably do it

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Speaker 2: like the back of my hand, but like for the

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Speaker 2: last few years I've been like, well, there's no point

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Speaker 2: me doing it, because like I managed, the team, got

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Speaker 2: jealous signed up for a mortgage broking course so that

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Speaker 2: they can become an official broker, because I was like,

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Speaker 2: that sounds slay, Like that sounds fun. Got recognition of

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Speaker 2: prior work, which makes sense. But also when I was

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Speaker 2: on the website, none of it lined up because I

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Speaker 2: was like, well, financial advice, it's not mortgage broking, but

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Speaker 2: I wrote a little case and I like submitted it

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Speaker 2: and I submitted my prior degrees and they were like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 2: you don't have to do this, this, this, and this,

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Speaker 2: like it's pretty good. So I feel like even though

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Speaker 2: it didn't directly align, just asking meant that they were like, well, actually,

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Speaker 2: and it was like ethics modules and just kind of

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Speaker 2: things that you're like, oh, it's not how to do

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Speaker 2: the job, it's more how to you know, function in finance.

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Speaker 2: That were like, oh, you definitely don't need to do

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Speaker 2: a B and C. And I was like, thank you,

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Speaker 2: so money win, but also like admin.

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Speaker 4: Win yeah, and Laura said, don't ask don't yet.

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Speaker 2: I don't even know if I'm going to be a

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Speaker 2: proper mortgage broker, but I want the degree.

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Speaker 4: I just did not go on to add to the collection.

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Speaker 2: I just like collecting them like little pokemon. It's very cute.

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Speaker 2: Nobody is like me, and that is okay, that is okay, alright.

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Speaker 2: You broke tips, yes, not parking fines. They are not

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Speaker 2: good tips.

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Speaker 1: No.

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Speaker 5: Well, actually one of my tips is pay your fines.

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Speaker 5: If you break your car window, you actually can just

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Speaker 5: duct tape it. And I know that's that's not my

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Speaker 5: broke tip for this week.

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Speaker 2: See, but I'm for a good broke tip when they're legal.

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Speaker 2: That's actually illegal. Yeah, so like, let's not do that.

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Speaker 5: Don't do that.

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Speaker 2: I mean it's any intim and yeah, like desperation calls

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Speaker 2: for being creative and I like that.

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Speaker 5: It's just a fantastic thing that I didn't know.

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Speaker 2: Should get it fixed though, we should. We should. If

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Speaker 2: you can't see out of the window because it's it's

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Speaker 2: very detained. Yeah, I can't see any goodlines. I was

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Speaker 2: about to say, can you see blind spots?

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Speaker 1: No?

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Speaker 2: No, not an option option? See why it might be illegal?

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Speaker 4: I see that is on the to do list.

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Speaker 5: Okay, so the first broke tip this week comes from Iris,

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Speaker 5: who sent me a TikTok about an app called Too

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Speaker 5: Good to Go.

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Speaker 4: I'm sing it everywhere. I keep trying to get it,

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Speaker 4: but there's not much where I live, unfortunately.

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Speaker 5: See I just downloaded it today.

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Speaker 2: Actually, sorry, I've never heard of it. What it is?

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Speaker 1: Sorry?

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Speaker 5: Yeah, oh my god, I didn't give anyone any context.

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Speaker 2: You were like, it's cold, too good to Go? Yeah,

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Speaker 2: get it?

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Speaker 4: Get it anyway? Next tip.

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Speaker 5: No, it's kind of like a combination of things. It's

401
00:17:16,880 --> 00:17:19,960
Speaker 5: like trying to reduce food waste. And also it's a

402
00:17:20,000 --> 00:17:23,080
Speaker 5: broke tip. I feel like with this app, you correct

403
00:17:23,080 --> 00:17:24,639
Speaker 5: me if I'm wrong, but I'm pretty sure. It's like

404
00:17:24,800 --> 00:17:28,359
Speaker 5: you can scan like your area or like anywhere around

405
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Speaker 5: you really and see if there's any food waste going.

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Speaker 5: I don't know if it's like companies or if it's

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Speaker 5: like just people, but it's like restaurants and yeah, so

408
00:17:37,080 --> 00:17:39,040
Speaker 5: it's like food that you got to chuck out at

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Speaker 5: the end of the day, so you pay a flat

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Speaker 5: fee and effectively you just get a mystery bag.

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Speaker 4: So like it might be like, is it Attica in

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Speaker 4: the city? I saw, God, yeah, like a lot of

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Speaker 4: foujie places, Brumbies I saw do it like lots of

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Speaker 4: I always wonder.

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Speaker 2: So I used to live on the Peninsula. I think

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Speaker 2: you guys already know that, and the local like Baker's

417
00:17:59,359 --> 00:18:01,800
Speaker 2: Delight used to like bag up and I'd see them

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Speaker 2: if I was at the supermarket late putting all the

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Speaker 2: bread into garbage bags, and I was like, oh my god,

420
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Speaker 2: what a waste. But they were like donating it to

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Speaker 2: like the pig farm and the pigs would eat it,

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Speaker 2: And like I liked that, but if it goes to

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Speaker 2: human beings, is that not better totally.

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Speaker 4: So it's usually like a flat fee, and so you

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Speaker 4: might pay five dollars or ten dollars, and from what

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Speaker 4: I've seen, it's like a day in advance, so like today,

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Speaker 4: I would book to pick up tomorrow and it'll say

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Speaker 4: pick up between three and four or whatever, and you

429
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Speaker 4: just get a mystery bag. And so if you search

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Speaker 4: up on TikTok, heaps people and I'm boxing what you've

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Speaker 4: got that was so fun, I'm gonna eat really really

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00:18:32,920 --> 00:18:34,600
Speaker 4: fun and it's cool. It's like a little mystery And

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Speaker 4: if you're eating cheap, it's so you get the whole thing,

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00:18:37,760 --> 00:18:39,760
Speaker 4: is you it's more value than what you pay. So

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00:18:39,800 --> 00:18:41,680
Speaker 4: if you pay five dollars might be worth twenty bucks

436
00:18:41,800 --> 00:18:44,560
Speaker 4: or whatever. And I'm assuming depending on how much they have,

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00:18:44,720 --> 00:18:46,600
Speaker 4: you might get like even more value or whatever.

438
00:18:47,040 --> 00:18:49,800
Speaker 2: So how that is funny wins. That is a good broak.

439
00:18:50,160 --> 00:18:52,320
Speaker 4: It's just come to Australia. It's really new. It's in

440
00:18:52,359 --> 00:18:54,359
Speaker 4: the US for a while, right, I think it's just

441
00:18:54,480 --> 00:18:54,959
Speaker 4: launched here.

442
00:18:55,160 --> 00:18:56,560
Speaker 2: I'm going to set you a little bit of a

443
00:18:56,600 --> 00:18:59,200
Speaker 2: snoop into them, because I have been on that side

444
00:18:59,240 --> 00:19:01,960
Speaker 2: of TikTok, which is like all the budget eats. Yeah,

445
00:19:01,960 --> 00:19:04,159
Speaker 2: and I've noticed that there seems to be and I

446
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,240
Speaker 2: don't know if this is true. I'm going to try it,

447
00:19:06,640 --> 00:19:08,960
Speaker 2: but a couple of girls have been posting what they're

448
00:19:09,000 --> 00:19:11,679
Speaker 2: buying at the butcher, Like they get the butcher's mixed

449
00:19:11,760 --> 00:19:13,680
Speaker 2: bag and it's like, I don't know, seventy five or

450
00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:16,119
Speaker 2: one hundred dollars and they get like ten items, and

451
00:19:16,160 --> 00:19:17,240
Speaker 2: I'm like, that's wild.

452
00:19:17,480 --> 00:19:17,680
Speaker 4: Yeah.

453
00:19:17,920 --> 00:19:21,000
Speaker 2: Like this one girl for seventy five dollars got like

454
00:19:21,400 --> 00:19:24,280
Speaker 2: a roast and like mince and like ten other things.

455
00:19:24,320 --> 00:19:26,960
Speaker 2: And I was like, that's like less than ten dollars

456
00:19:27,040 --> 00:19:30,160
Speaker 2: per item, and you've got a roast for Sunday. That's great,

457
00:19:30,240 --> 00:19:32,960
Speaker 2: what a money win. So good anyway, I just I

458
00:19:33,160 --> 00:19:38,160
Speaker 2: like cheap food, don't It's this economy absolutely, and it's

459
00:19:38,200 --> 00:19:39,120
Speaker 2: a human right.

460
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:41,440
Speaker 4: Anyway, what else have you got?

461
00:19:41,600 --> 00:19:41,879
Speaker 2: Okay?

462
00:19:42,000 --> 00:19:44,840
Speaker 5: Next one comes from Lauren, who says store your nail

463
00:19:44,920 --> 00:19:47,840
Speaker 5: varnishes in the fridge to stop them going gloopy, especially

464
00:19:47,880 --> 00:19:49,880
Speaker 5: if you live in Queensland it's quite hot.

465
00:19:50,680 --> 00:19:51,679
Speaker 2: That's quite smart.

466
00:19:51,960 --> 00:19:54,000
Speaker 5: If they do go gloopy, add a few drops of

467
00:19:54,080 --> 00:19:57,240
Speaker 5: nail varnish removers to them and shake wila that will

468
00:19:57,280 --> 00:19:58,000
Speaker 5: last a bit longer.

469
00:19:58,359 --> 00:19:59,960
Speaker 2: Oh so good. Yeah.

470
00:20:00,040 --> 00:20:03,199
Speaker 5: Yeah, I mean I'm not tried personally, but I'm sure that.

471
00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:04,920
Speaker 2: You went out polish. I beg things.

472
00:20:05,000 --> 00:20:06,840
Speaker 5: I don't really but I'm not opposed to it. I

473
00:20:06,960 --> 00:20:08,359
Speaker 5: just like don't really know.

474
00:20:09,359 --> 00:20:10,320
Speaker 2: And also it's very hard.

475
00:20:10,359 --> 00:20:11,760
Speaker 5: I don't know you guys do it, Like, yeah, I

476
00:20:11,760 --> 00:20:12,560
Speaker 5: always get it everywhere.

477
00:20:12,560 --> 00:20:15,679
Speaker 2: I have a rainbow this week. That did a whole rainbow,

478
00:20:15,920 --> 00:20:19,920
Speaker 2: very cute of my stories. Yeah, oh thanks, thanks, But

479
00:20:20,119 --> 00:20:24,480
Speaker 2: like I just I just need it actually, But I

480
00:20:24,680 --> 00:20:26,840
Speaker 2: just I don't know about you, Jess, Like this is

481
00:20:26,920 --> 00:20:29,199
Speaker 2: not a you thing, Beck because you don't do your nails,

482
00:20:29,280 --> 00:20:31,560
Speaker 2: But like I just get in a mood sometimes and

483
00:20:31,680 --> 00:20:33,800
Speaker 2: I just go, I need to have rainbow nails. I

484
00:20:33,920 --> 00:20:36,240
Speaker 2: just I know my mood's going to improve if I

485
00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:38,840
Speaker 2: paint my nails the color of the rainbow, and then

486
00:20:38,960 --> 00:20:41,760
Speaker 2: my mood instantly improved. She's full of pride.

487
00:20:42,200 --> 00:20:44,320
Speaker 5: Well yeah, yeah, she's an ally.

488
00:20:45,400 --> 00:20:46,280
Speaker 4: She's an ally.

489
00:20:46,359 --> 00:20:47,560
Speaker 2: Ally with my fingers.

490
00:20:47,720 --> 00:20:53,000
Speaker 4: Yeah, you're welcome, moving right along, You're welcome.

491
00:20:53,520 --> 00:20:59,440
Speaker 2: What's your broke to Okay, my broke chip is I'm

492
00:20:59,480 --> 00:21:01,199
Speaker 2: regreat no thing, just so you know.

493
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:07,520
Speaker 5: Hey, that's one hell of an ally. Okay, I broke tip,

494
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:11,480
Speaker 5: have you guys sort of to day tis No, actually

495
00:21:11,760 --> 00:21:20,280
Speaker 5: just somewhere this didn't come from me. Last ticks as well,

496
00:21:20,400 --> 00:21:23,160
Speaker 5: same thing, last ticks as well. Okay, so it's where

497
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:23,919
Speaker 5: like you.

498
00:21:25,520 --> 00:21:26,639
Speaker 4: Hold on, Jess, what's it?

499
00:21:26,720 --> 00:21:27,080
Speaker 1: What is it?

500
00:21:28,800 --> 00:21:31,960
Speaker 2: I know, I think, I think, I'm.

501
00:21:31,840 --> 00:21:35,280
Speaker 5: So sorry, but I I love that I'm a real

502
00:21:35,400 --> 00:21:38,920
Speaker 5: skim reader, and I think you can find cheap tickets

503
00:21:39,440 --> 00:21:42,679
Speaker 5: through these websites you think at the last minute.

504
00:21:42,960 --> 00:21:44,280
Speaker 4: Yes, is that correct?

505
00:21:44,400 --> 00:21:47,200
Speaker 2: Yes, So it's like a lot of feel I'm just

506
00:21:47,280 --> 00:21:51,720
Speaker 2: taking I'm given hold on, hold on, just to reset, Jess.

507
00:21:51,800 --> 00:21:54,840
Speaker 2: You feel like you're taking something off Beck when Beck

508
00:21:54,960 --> 00:21:55,679
Speaker 2: brought your.

509
00:21:55,600 --> 00:22:02,320
Speaker 4: Books the sharing economy. Yeah, so it's as exactly as

510
00:22:02,359 --> 00:22:05,120
Speaker 4: you said. It's a lot of theater. So musicals plays,

511
00:22:05,359 --> 00:22:09,399
Speaker 4: sometimes galleries, things that you know there's X amount of seats.

512
00:22:09,720 --> 00:22:11,520
Speaker 4: If they don't feel the seats, they don't make any money.

513
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:13,840
Speaker 4: So often it'll be like the same day or the

514
00:22:13,880 --> 00:22:15,960
Speaker 4: same week, or if you shows in it's like last

515
00:22:16,280 --> 00:22:19,040
Speaker 4: kind of leg. You can jump on there and either

516
00:22:19,040 --> 00:22:21,359
Speaker 4: buy the ticket directly, or sometimes it's a lottery, so

517
00:22:21,440 --> 00:22:23,000
Speaker 4: you submit to try to be able to buy the

518
00:22:23,040 --> 00:22:24,800
Speaker 4: cheap ticket. I remember you were trying to get Wicked

519
00:22:24,880 --> 00:22:27,600
Speaker 4: tickets so badly, but I didn't devastate it. But like

520
00:22:27,960 --> 00:22:30,920
Speaker 4: I think normal Wicked tickets were like entry level ninety bucks,

521
00:22:30,960 --> 00:22:33,520
Speaker 4: so like the very backgrod, whereas they were selling all

522
00:22:33,600 --> 00:22:35,200
Speaker 4: of them on I think I can't remember it was

523
00:22:35,280 --> 00:22:37,439
Speaker 4: Last Ticks or Staticks whoever, which every one was, they

524
00:22:37,480 --> 00:22:38,320
Speaker 4: were forty bucks.

525
00:22:38,640 --> 00:22:42,000
Speaker 2: Yeah, and I feel like right now everybody's under so

526
00:22:42,160 --> 00:22:45,320
Speaker 2: much financial pressure they're doing something like going to the theater.

527
00:22:45,359 --> 00:22:48,119
Speaker 2: You like ninety dollars a ticket. Yeah, like that is

528
00:22:48,200 --> 00:22:51,080
Speaker 2: an expensive day out, Like that's not something that you

529
00:22:51,160 --> 00:22:53,320
Speaker 2: can just go, Oh hey, Jess, I'd love to take

530
00:22:53,359 --> 00:22:55,480
Speaker 2: the kids to wicket, Like that's not a thing. Like

531
00:22:55,640 --> 00:22:58,360
Speaker 2: to me, that's like a Christmas present, like a good

532
00:22:58,520 --> 00:23:01,440
Speaker 2: Christmas present at that. So like being able to go

533
00:23:01,520 --> 00:23:02,280
Speaker 2: for forty bucks.

534
00:23:02,359 --> 00:23:05,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, support the arts, fill the theater out. Also, you know,

535
00:23:05,640 --> 00:23:07,080
Speaker 4: look after all a little bit while you do it.

536
00:23:07,320 --> 00:23:09,440
Speaker 2: We love that. Love that. Well, let's go to a

537
00:23:09,520 --> 00:23:12,400
Speaker 2: really quick break. Jess is gonna look at the font

538
00:23:12,440 --> 00:23:15,440
Speaker 2: that I like on Kindle because it and I'm probably

539
00:23:15,480 --> 00:23:17,600
Speaker 2: going to get another coffee. But on the flip side,

540
00:23:17,680 --> 00:23:19,680
Speaker 2: we're going to be talking about what to do when

541
00:23:19,680 --> 00:23:22,439
Speaker 2: you're feeling like you're more your partner's financial manager than

542
00:23:22,480 --> 00:23:25,480
Speaker 2: their teammate. And Beck, I'm excited for this. I feel

543
00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:27,639
Speaker 2: like you're excited to We got a little bit of

544
00:23:27,680 --> 00:23:29,800
Speaker 2: a spicy DM. We're going to be chatting about what's

545
00:23:29,840 --> 00:23:33,159
Speaker 2: more important helping your friend or keeping their secret. So

546
00:23:33,440 --> 00:23:34,800
Speaker 2: don't go anywhere, guys.

547
00:23:39,320 --> 00:23:42,000
Speaker 4: Welcome back everybody. Let's take a listen to this week's

548
00:23:42,160 --> 00:23:43,000
Speaker 4: money dilemma.

549
00:23:45,000 --> 00:23:45,119
Speaker 6: Hi.

550
00:23:45,280 --> 00:23:47,960
Speaker 7: There, have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve?

551
00:23:48,200 --> 00:23:50,320
Speaker 7: The Sheess on the Money team is here to help.

552
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:53,680
Speaker 7: Every week we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small,

553
00:23:53,800 --> 00:23:56,800
Speaker 7: to answer your most burning money, career and life questions.

554
00:23:57,080 --> 00:23:59,520
Speaker 7: To get involved, simply head to our website and leave

555
00:23:59,600 --> 00:24:02,119
Speaker 7: us ashore voice recording and you might just find yourself

556
00:24:02,200 --> 00:24:02,640
Speaker 7: on the show.

557
00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:05,719
Speaker 2: Now, let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.

558
00:24:08,600 --> 00:24:11,000
Speaker 6: Hi, She's on the Money. Loved the podcast and would

559
00:24:11,040 --> 00:24:13,560
Speaker 6: love some help with my current money dilemma around getting

560
00:24:13,560 --> 00:24:15,720
Speaker 6: my husband involved in our budget.

561
00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:17,919
Speaker 2: It's not something he's interested at all and he has

562
00:24:18,000 --> 00:24:19,879
Speaker 2: always left it up to me, says that.

563
00:24:19,920 --> 00:24:22,160
Speaker 6: He trusts me completely in the decisions that I make,

564
00:24:22,800 --> 00:24:27,000
Speaker 6: but it makes me feel like I am completely in

565
00:24:27,119 --> 00:24:29,200
Speaker 6: charge and get guilty if we don't have the money

566
00:24:29,240 --> 00:24:32,120
Speaker 6: when something arises and we need it, or if I've

567
00:24:32,200 --> 00:24:35,520
Speaker 6: done something wrong. He's not interested in getting involved at Also,

568
00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:38,480
Speaker 6: I just love some tips around navigating this with him,

569
00:24:38,560 --> 00:24:41,879
Speaker 6: because recently he started to make some comments around how

570
00:24:41,960 --> 00:24:44,800
Speaker 6: I'm policing his spending, but it's because I know he

571
00:24:44,880 --> 00:24:46,520
Speaker 6: doesn't check the account, so I kind of have to

572
00:24:46,640 --> 00:24:48,959
Speaker 6: check in and make sure a certain purchase with him

573
00:24:49,000 --> 00:24:51,480
Speaker 6: and it's not our accounts being compromised and things like that.

574
00:24:52,200 --> 00:24:54,920
Speaker 6: Another example is he got a recent pay rise and

575
00:24:55,000 --> 00:24:57,280
Speaker 6: I tried to set a budget meeting and gave him

576
00:24:57,359 --> 00:25:00,720
Speaker 6: lots of warning in the calendar around it, just to

577
00:25:00,880 --> 00:25:03,440
Speaker 6: figure out where we should allocate the extra funds that

578
00:25:03,520 --> 00:25:06,480
Speaker 6: he's now getting and any financial goals that he had,

579
00:25:06,560 --> 00:25:09,200
Speaker 6: but he didn't have any, wanted to just leave it

580
00:25:09,280 --> 00:25:11,600
Speaker 6: up to me and trusted me completely, And then a

581
00:25:11,680 --> 00:25:13,600
Speaker 6: few days later comes to me and says that he

582
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:17,080
Speaker 6: wants to buy a certain thing costs three thousand dollars

583
00:25:17,480 --> 00:25:19,480
Speaker 6: and that's not something that's built into our budget, and

584
00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:21,720
Speaker 6: I feel like I can't say no, I just have

585
00:25:21,840 --> 00:25:24,280
Speaker 6: to suddenly come up with the money and work around him.

586
00:25:24,960 --> 00:25:27,520
Speaker 6: I'm a little concerned that later on in life, any

587
00:25:27,680 --> 00:25:30,399
Speaker 6: goals that we have, anything that goes wrong, that's going

588
00:25:30,440 --> 00:25:32,560
Speaker 6: to come down to me and be my fault.

589
00:25:32,960 --> 00:25:34,040
Speaker 2: Do you have any tips for this?

590
00:25:37,520 --> 00:25:41,000
Speaker 5: This is so hard to listen to because I totally

591
00:25:41,080 --> 00:25:43,359
Speaker 5: get it. Like it's the same old thing, isn't it

592
00:25:43,520 --> 00:25:46,600
Speaker 5: the I'm not I don't want to generalize here, but

593
00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:49,480
Speaker 5: I am going to generalize. It's usually like one partner

594
00:25:49,800 --> 00:25:51,920
Speaker 5: is not doing any of the mental load. Maybe they're

595
00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:53,680
Speaker 5: doing some of the physical load if the other partner

596
00:25:53,960 --> 00:25:57,320
Speaker 5: quote unquote nags them enough, because all of the mental

597
00:25:57,359 --> 00:25:59,680
Speaker 5: load falls on the other partner. Even if they're not

598
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:01,520
Speaker 5: physical doing the thing, they're still like, I've got to

599
00:26:01,560 --> 00:26:04,719
Speaker 5: remember to remind this person to do this thing. Anyway,

600
00:26:04,800 --> 00:26:08,359
Speaker 5: in this situation feels like there's no winning, it's lose lose.

601
00:26:08,680 --> 00:26:12,840
Speaker 5: She's she's completely taking over all of the financial responsibility,

602
00:26:13,119 --> 00:26:15,359
Speaker 5: the mental loads, the physical load, all of this load,

603
00:26:15,760 --> 00:26:19,119
Speaker 5: and then therefore has to say yes or no to

604
00:26:19,280 --> 00:26:21,480
Speaker 5: the partner who wants to spend all this money and

605
00:26:21,800 --> 00:26:25,560
Speaker 5: then they're the bad person because they've said no to

606
00:26:25,600 --> 00:26:27,639
Speaker 5: a certain purchase or yes to a certain purchase.

607
00:26:27,960 --> 00:26:28,240
Speaker 1: I know.

608
00:26:28,280 --> 00:26:30,480
Speaker 5: The whole thing is just like I feel so bad

609
00:26:30,560 --> 00:26:33,280
Speaker 5: for this woman, and I wanted to find an equal partner.

610
00:26:33,320 --> 00:26:34,480
Speaker 5: I wanted to find an equal partner.

611
00:26:34,560 --> 00:26:36,120
Speaker 2: Basically, Oh, so you're saying leave.

612
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:38,880
Speaker 5: I'm not saying I find a different equal part I'm saying,

613
00:26:38,880 --> 00:26:43,560
Speaker 5: if your partner can't understand why this is stressful and extremely,

614
00:26:43,800 --> 00:26:49,280
Speaker 5: extremely unfair, then find an equal partner or be single,

615
00:26:49,560 --> 00:26:51,800
Speaker 5: because then you just have to worry about yourself, you

616
00:26:51,880 --> 00:26:52,280
Speaker 5: know what I mean.

617
00:26:52,480 --> 00:26:55,000
Speaker 2: So I agree. I think it's a it's a bit rich,

618
00:26:55,440 --> 00:26:57,960
Speaker 2: like when people are like I don't care, I don't care. Also,

619
00:26:58,000 --> 00:27:00,720
Speaker 2: I want to spend three grand like you actually do care.

620
00:27:00,800 --> 00:27:02,800
Speaker 2: But it seems to me that you only care when

621
00:27:02,840 --> 00:27:06,680
Speaker 2: it benefits you, and that's not how finances work. Like

622
00:27:06,800 --> 00:27:08,680
Speaker 2: you've got to get into the nitty gritty. And I've

623
00:27:08,680 --> 00:27:11,919
Speaker 2: really heard her when she said I'm fine with it now.

624
00:27:11,960 --> 00:27:14,320
Speaker 2: Obviously I've got to work it out. But like in

625
00:27:14,400 --> 00:27:16,280
Speaker 2: the future, does this mean that everything's going to be

626
00:27:16,359 --> 00:27:18,480
Speaker 2: my fault? But it doesn't go to plan because like

627
00:27:18,720 --> 00:27:21,680
Speaker 2: you can totally see that that's the case. Like it

628
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:24,760
Speaker 2: really frustrates me. And I feel like you hit the

629
00:27:24,840 --> 00:27:26,560
Speaker 2: nail on the head back when you said it's about

630
00:27:26,600 --> 00:27:30,040
Speaker 2: mental load, Like you're the one thinking of like, okay, cool,

631
00:27:30,200 --> 00:27:32,840
Speaker 2: like we need to budget for Christmas and oh we've

632
00:27:32,880 --> 00:27:34,960
Speaker 2: got this coming up and oh we've got people coming over,

633
00:27:35,119 --> 00:27:37,719
Speaker 2: so like dinner's going to be different. Like it's stuff

634
00:27:37,800 --> 00:27:40,399
Speaker 2: that he's just going I can't be bothered. But then

635
00:27:40,480 --> 00:27:42,320
Speaker 2: all of a sudden, when he wants a three thousand

636
00:27:42,359 --> 00:27:44,880
Speaker 2: dollar item, he's like, oh, yeah, let let's make room

637
00:27:44,920 --> 00:27:47,879
Speaker 2: for that totally. Are you willing to help make room? Also,

638
00:27:48,160 --> 00:27:50,320
Speaker 2: what do you mean you can't say no? Sorry? You

639
00:27:50,400 --> 00:27:52,359
Speaker 2: said that the budgeting was in my court and I've

640
00:27:52,400 --> 00:27:55,400
Speaker 2: actually we don't have budget for that. Oh you're interested

641
00:27:55,440 --> 00:27:57,440
Speaker 2: in the budget now? Would you like to revisit it

642
00:27:57,480 --> 00:27:59,679
Speaker 2: because I can clean the slate. We can start budgeting

643
00:27:59,720 --> 00:28:03,920
Speaker 2: from scratch again together. Because if you're interested, yeah, jump

644
00:28:04,000 --> 00:28:06,440
Speaker 2: on board. I would be really happy to clear the

645
00:28:06,520 --> 00:28:09,920
Speaker 2: slate and start again when it's completely equal. But you

646
00:28:10,000 --> 00:28:11,880
Speaker 2: can't have your cake and eat it too. You don't

647
00:28:11,920 --> 00:28:14,600
Speaker 2: get the best of both worlds and be like, hey, yes,

648
00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:16,680
Speaker 2: I want you know a three thousand dollars item. But

649
00:28:16,720 --> 00:28:18,119
Speaker 2: I also don't want to help with any of the

650
00:28:18,200 --> 00:28:22,800
Speaker 2: financial stuff. No, I hate it. What do you reckon, Jess?

651
00:28:22,920 --> 00:28:26,400
Speaker 4: I agree. I think it's common trope unfortunately, like it's

652
00:28:26,600 --> 00:28:28,800
Speaker 4: very common that the load leans one way or the other.

653
00:28:29,359 --> 00:28:32,040
Speaker 4: I would say that if you haven't, because it sounds

654
00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:34,080
Speaker 4: a little bit like our listeners just carrying it all

655
00:28:34,320 --> 00:28:36,920
Speaker 4: and going okay, Like I feel like I have to

656
00:28:37,040 --> 00:28:39,720
Speaker 4: just find room for it. As you were saying, VD,

657
00:28:39,840 --> 00:28:42,760
Speaker 4: I think like push back. I think that when you say, yeah,

658
00:28:43,040 --> 00:28:45,760
Speaker 4: you have to find room, I certainly do not. I

659
00:28:45,880 --> 00:28:49,560
Speaker 4: think as well, it's important as much as you would

660
00:28:49,560 --> 00:28:52,280
Speaker 4: hope that your partner would see and understand the level

661
00:28:52,320 --> 00:28:56,000
Speaker 4: of work that goes into something, the best way to

662
00:28:56,000 --> 00:28:57,960
Speaker 4: communicate is to not make those assumptions. So I think

663
00:28:57,960 --> 00:29:00,840
Speaker 4: if you haven't already communicating to your partner, Hey, do

664
00:29:00,920 --> 00:29:03,000
Speaker 4: you realize that this takes up a lot of time?

665
00:29:03,200 --> 00:29:05,480
Speaker 4: Do you realize that it's causing me a lot of anxiety?

666
00:29:05,520 --> 00:29:08,080
Speaker 4: Because I feel like I'm the bad guy in our relationship.

667
00:29:08,400 --> 00:29:10,480
Speaker 4: I feel like I'm parenting for you, or I feel

668
00:29:10,520 --> 00:29:13,360
Speaker 4: like i'm your accountant. I don't feel like i'm your equal,

669
00:29:13,400 --> 00:29:15,960
Speaker 4: I feel like I'm working for you if you haven't

670
00:29:15,960 --> 00:29:18,960
Speaker 4: already had that conversation. I think it's important to help

671
00:29:19,200 --> 00:29:22,560
Speaker 4: your partner understand those things because we can't assume that

672
00:29:22,680 --> 00:29:25,400
Speaker 4: they know how we're feeling. In an ideal world, would

673
00:29:25,440 --> 00:29:30,040
Speaker 4: they just do their part equally communication shockingly round about

674
00:29:30,080 --> 00:29:31,400
Speaker 4: way I'm saying, have a conversation.

675
00:29:31,720 --> 00:29:33,440
Speaker 2: But so you've got to feel empowered to have that

676
00:29:33,520 --> 00:29:35,880
Speaker 2: conversation because right now you're probably like, I don't know

677
00:29:35,960 --> 00:29:38,960
Speaker 2: why it is like that, And the reason it's like

678
00:29:39,080 --> 00:29:40,840
Speaker 2: that is everything you're saying, Jess.

679
00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,840
Speaker 4: Yeah, And I think like in some partnerships there is

680
00:29:42,920 --> 00:29:45,680
Speaker 4: maybe one person who takes the lead on something like finances,

681
00:29:45,680 --> 00:29:47,480
Speaker 4: and if that works for you, that's not a bad thing.

682
00:29:47,560 --> 00:29:49,920
Speaker 4: But because our listener is clearly saying that that's not

683
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:53,760
Speaker 4: for her, it's very reasonable for you to expect your

684
00:29:53,800 --> 00:29:56,480
Speaker 4: partner to carry their share of that load because it

685
00:29:56,600 --> 00:29:59,000
Speaker 4: is both of your money. And you know, maybe he

686
00:29:59,080 --> 00:30:01,080
Speaker 4: thinks that he's being really like nice by saying, oh,

687
00:30:01,120 --> 00:30:02,520
Speaker 4: I trust you, I want to leave it with you,

688
00:30:03,280 --> 00:30:06,440
Speaker 4: and doesn't understand that actually it's causing you a lot

689
00:30:06,480 --> 00:30:08,040
Speaker 4: of stress and you're really not liking it.

690
00:30:08,240 --> 00:30:10,600
Speaker 2: So it's not really about trust, though it's so nice

691
00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:12,920
Speaker 2: that you do trust me, fantastic. That's actually why we're

692
00:30:12,960 --> 00:30:15,360
Speaker 2: in a relationship together, because we trust one another and

693
00:30:15,440 --> 00:30:17,520
Speaker 2: want to build a life together. This it's actually about

694
00:30:17,760 --> 00:30:21,800
Speaker 2: our core values and how we are allocating the resources

695
00:30:21,840 --> 00:30:24,920
Speaker 2: that come into our relationship to achieve the goals that

696
00:30:25,040 --> 00:30:27,880
Speaker 2: we want. And if your partner saying, well, I have

697
00:30:28,040 --> 00:30:32,960
Speaker 2: no goals like for me, red flag, but also you

698
00:30:33,080 --> 00:30:35,400
Speaker 2: clearly do you want a three thousand dollar item that's

699
00:30:35,440 --> 00:30:37,960
Speaker 2: a financial goal to me, like a three thousand dollar

700
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:40,960
Speaker 2: item needs a lot of consideration from my perspective.

701
00:30:41,240 --> 00:30:44,480
Speaker 5: Totally, I think, yeah, it's just it's really hard because

702
00:30:45,080 --> 00:30:47,760
Speaker 5: I totally get like not having financial goals, Like I

703
00:30:47,840 --> 00:30:49,880
Speaker 5: feel like when I start dating my current partner, I

704
00:30:50,480 --> 00:30:51,880
Speaker 5: don't really have any. But I know that if I

705
00:30:51,960 --> 00:30:53,360
Speaker 5: want to build a life with this person who does

706
00:30:53,440 --> 00:30:55,680
Speaker 5: have financial goals, I need to change the way I

707
00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:58,720
Speaker 5: live my life. But so's that's a completely sad SEP.

708
00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:01,840
Speaker 2: That's a big conversation. So I feel like, maybe that's

709
00:31:01,880 --> 00:31:02,480
Speaker 2: you're going to pay.

710
00:31:03,880 --> 00:31:04,640
Speaker 4: Maybe not right now.

711
00:31:07,480 --> 00:31:09,480
Speaker 5: If we moving together one there I will, But.

712
00:31:09,720 --> 00:31:12,240
Speaker 2: I think that's a sure sign of commitment. For Beck,

713
00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:15,320
Speaker 2: if she comes in one day I've paid my parking fines,

714
00:31:15,320 --> 00:31:17,000
Speaker 2: I'm going to be like, are you getting married?

715
00:31:17,120 --> 00:31:19,880
Speaker 5: Yeah, then if you know experience. I really feel for

716
00:31:20,360 --> 00:31:22,880
Speaker 5: our listener because I think it's hard when you come

717
00:31:23,000 --> 00:31:24,880
Speaker 5: into a conversation or you try to have a conversation.

718
00:31:25,640 --> 00:31:29,520
Speaker 5: If you start from equal, an equal playing field, it's

719
00:31:30,000 --> 00:31:34,040
Speaker 5: still hard. But it feels like our listener is not

720
00:31:34,480 --> 00:31:36,640
Speaker 5: at an equal playing field. It feels like they're going

721
00:31:36,720 --> 00:31:39,680
Speaker 5: to be immediately on the defense because they've been kind

722
00:31:39,720 --> 00:31:43,400
Speaker 5: of labeled the quote unquote bad guy in situations. So

723
00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:45,720
Speaker 5: it feels like they're going to have to defend themselves

724
00:31:46,040 --> 00:31:49,080
Speaker 5: and then get to equal and then talk about how

725
00:31:49,200 --> 00:31:52,240
Speaker 5: to change things. And so I feel like there's just

726
00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:57,680
Speaker 5: so much land to treks.

727
00:31:57,920 --> 00:32:00,640
Speaker 4: Canceled the meeting either, that makes me because that was

728
00:32:00,720 --> 00:32:03,720
Speaker 4: her opportunity to have the conversation to go like, maybe

729
00:32:03,760 --> 00:32:05,200
Speaker 4: that was her plan. He's like, Okay, like we're gonna

730
00:32:05,200 --> 00:32:06,719
Speaker 4: sit down, I gotta go overall of this, and then

731
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:08,400
Speaker 4: he like bailed on it, which I also think is

732
00:32:08,480 --> 00:32:09,480
Speaker 4: just very disrespectful.

733
00:32:09,600 --> 00:32:12,520
Speaker 5: I just don't I just I just think in the

734
00:32:13,200 --> 00:32:17,520
Speaker 5: I'm just kidding communation first Shore and if it doesn't work,

735
00:32:17,800 --> 00:32:20,560
Speaker 5: then it's just so much Sometimes it's so much easier

736
00:32:20,640 --> 00:32:23,040
Speaker 5: just to be single. So I mean, it might not

737
00:32:23,120 --> 00:32:25,200
Speaker 5: be in this case, but think about it. Just think

738
00:32:25,200 --> 00:32:25,480
Speaker 5: about it.

739
00:32:25,800 --> 00:32:29,840
Speaker 2: I'm really I get really frustrated about this, But I

740
00:32:29,920 --> 00:32:32,560
Speaker 2: can also see how it happens, and I think that

741
00:32:33,080 --> 00:32:36,440
Speaker 2: this is potentially getting a little bit deep a reflection

742
00:32:36,560 --> 00:32:38,600
Speaker 2: of his money story as well. He could be quite

743
00:32:38,640 --> 00:32:42,080
Speaker 2: evasive of this conversation because it deeply makes him uncomfortable.

744
00:32:42,320 --> 00:32:45,000
Speaker 2: Maybe he doesn't want to talk about money because you know,

745
00:32:45,120 --> 00:32:47,240
Speaker 2: it's overwhelming, and he's just like a thank god, my

746
00:32:47,320 --> 00:32:49,600
Speaker 2: partner's got it, Like, oh, I don't want to talk

747
00:32:49,640 --> 00:32:51,560
Speaker 2: about I trust you, please just deal with it like

748
00:32:52,200 --> 00:32:55,320
Speaker 2: you maybe don't know enough about it. And that's where

749
00:32:55,400 --> 00:32:57,960
Speaker 2: I would go. It's not just about the conversation. Clearly

750
00:32:58,000 --> 00:33:00,000
Speaker 2: he's evasive of that. Maybe we need to step even

751
00:33:00,200 --> 00:33:03,520
Speaker 2: further back and go, hey, like, you know, are we

752
00:33:03,600 --> 00:33:04,760
Speaker 2: getting married one day?

753
00:33:04,960 --> 00:33:06,040
Speaker 4: What does this look like?

754
00:33:06,160 --> 00:33:08,960
Speaker 2: Okay, so if we're building a life together and you know,

755
00:33:09,280 --> 00:33:11,360
Speaker 2: when we are eighty and sitting on a porch in

756
00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:14,360
Speaker 2: our rocking chairs holding hands looking off into the sunset, like,

757
00:33:14,440 --> 00:33:16,960
Speaker 2: what do we want to have achieved. What are we

758
00:33:17,080 --> 00:33:19,800
Speaker 2: talking about? What are those things that we are proud of?

759
00:33:20,560 --> 00:33:22,880
Speaker 2: And going from there. I know that's a really deep

760
00:33:22,960 --> 00:33:26,880
Speaker 2: way of looking at it, but are we achieving things together? Okay, well,

761
00:33:27,000 --> 00:33:29,040
Speaker 2: this is actually the tool we need to knock on

762
00:33:29,120 --> 00:33:32,760
Speaker 2: the head to get there. Why are you evasive of this?

763
00:33:33,080 --> 00:33:35,400
Speaker 2: How did you grow up around money? Let's talk about

764
00:33:35,440 --> 00:33:38,960
Speaker 2: our money stories and maybe sharing with him some resources

765
00:33:39,040 --> 00:33:41,440
Speaker 2: that he can consume in his own time, and just

766
00:33:41,520 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 2: going look, you're really evasive of the meeting. I get it.

767
00:33:44,560 --> 00:33:48,880
Speaker 2: Here's a podcast. Here's Victoria's very first podcast on money stories.

768
00:33:49,320 --> 00:33:51,760
Speaker 2: Please listen to it today in your own time and

769
00:33:51,840 --> 00:33:55,040
Speaker 2: have a think about whether that's guiding the way that

770
00:33:55,160 --> 00:33:58,880
Speaker 2: we're interacting around money. Give some resources, and I feel

771
00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:02,880
Speaker 2: like being extended the I won't say privileged, but being

772
00:34:03,000 --> 00:34:06,240
Speaker 2: extended the opportunity to consume those things in his own

773
00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:09,400
Speaker 2: time might mean that he has that point of reflection.

774
00:34:09,880 --> 00:34:12,880
Speaker 2: Whereas if he's doing what I think he's doing and

775
00:34:13,239 --> 00:34:16,120
Speaker 2: avoiding that conversation, if you then drag him into the

776
00:34:16,160 --> 00:34:19,720
Speaker 2: budget conversation, he's going to be defensive. He's not gonna

777
00:34:19,719 --> 00:34:21,200
Speaker 2: want to play. He's gonna be like, yeah, yeah, Jess,

778
00:34:21,239 --> 00:34:22,960
Speaker 2: whatever you want, Oh, you want to buy a new

779
00:34:23,040 --> 00:34:24,680
Speaker 2: car in the next twelve months, Okay, put that on

780
00:34:24,719 --> 00:34:27,839
Speaker 2: the goal list. Like he's not going to actually give

781
00:34:27,920 --> 00:34:30,200
Speaker 2: you what you want in that situation. It's going to

782
00:34:30,360 --> 00:34:32,680
Speaker 2: take a bit of work. So I would be trying

783
00:34:32,719 --> 00:34:34,560
Speaker 2: to work out what that looks like and having those

784
00:34:34,640 --> 00:34:36,640
Speaker 2: conversations and even just going, hey, I know that you

785
00:34:36,719 --> 00:34:40,880
Speaker 2: canceled the meeting, like why what's going on? Like, you know,

786
00:34:41,080 --> 00:34:43,759
Speaker 2: can we talk about it? Is it making you uncomfortable? Like,

787
00:34:44,160 --> 00:34:46,640
Speaker 2: and then maybe having a think about if you can't

788
00:34:46,680 --> 00:34:50,080
Speaker 2: ask those questions of your partner, why why can't you

789
00:34:50,160 --> 00:34:54,239
Speaker 2: have these conversations and what is that indicative of in

790
00:34:54,600 --> 00:34:57,719
Speaker 2: your relationship? It's an uncomfortable conversation at the end of

791
00:34:57,760 --> 00:35:00,120
Speaker 2: the day because, like as you were saying, Beck, it's

792
00:35:00,160 --> 00:35:02,640
Speaker 2: easier to be single, but it kind of is sometimes

793
00:35:02,640 --> 00:35:05,720
Speaker 2: I'm not saying leave, but like have a think about

794
00:35:05,880 --> 00:35:09,120
Speaker 2: why these things might be happening the way that they're happening.

795
00:35:09,800 --> 00:35:12,200
Speaker 2: Great advice, I don't know, Solon, I don't.

796
00:35:12,040 --> 00:35:14,240
Speaker 4: Know, and then come back and let us know what happens.

797
00:35:14,400 --> 00:35:16,759
Speaker 2: Please do Like I want to have all these people

798
00:35:16,840 --> 00:35:19,280
Speaker 2: that dm us send updates.

799
00:35:18,920 --> 00:35:21,280
Speaker 5: Yeah, we want updates, a whole update episode.

800
00:35:21,360 --> 00:35:23,080
Speaker 2: Yeah, and so I can be like, all right, remember this,

801
00:35:23,280 --> 00:35:26,440
Speaker 2: Oh my god, she x y z so juicy, keep

802
00:35:26,560 --> 00:35:28,960
Speaker 2: us up with the goss. Speaking of Goss, we got

803
00:35:29,000 --> 00:35:31,759
Speaker 2: a DM this week and I have been waiting all

804
00:35:31,880 --> 00:35:34,120
Speaker 2: episode to get into it. Are you ready?

805
00:35:34,320 --> 00:35:34,400
Speaker 1: Right?

806
00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:37,520
Speaker 2: Okay, Hey, she's on the money. I'm in a bit

807
00:35:37,600 --> 00:35:40,840
Speaker 2: of a dilemma and could really use some advice. A

808
00:35:40,920 --> 00:35:43,360
Speaker 2: friend told me that another one of our mutual friends

809
00:35:43,520 --> 00:35:46,680
Speaker 2: is in deep financial trouble. They're struggling a lot, and

810
00:35:46,800 --> 00:35:49,560
Speaker 2: my first instinct is to reach out and help. But

811
00:35:49,760 --> 00:35:52,400
Speaker 2: here's the problem. The friend who told me said it

812
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:54,520
Speaker 2: was supposed to be a secret and they shouldn't have

813
00:35:54,560 --> 00:35:57,160
Speaker 2: shared it in the first place. I don't want to

814
00:35:57,200 --> 00:36:00,600
Speaker 2: betray anyone's trust, but I also can't make the feeling

815
00:36:00,680 --> 00:36:03,000
Speaker 2: that I should be doing something to help. I'm not

816
00:36:03,120 --> 00:36:05,600
Speaker 2: sure how to approach the friend who's struggling without making

817
00:36:05,640 --> 00:36:09,040
Speaker 2: things awkward or revealing that I know something that I shouldn't.

818
00:36:09,840 --> 00:36:11,080
Speaker 2: What would you do?

819
00:36:11,760 --> 00:36:11,920
Speaker 1: Oh?

820
00:36:12,040 --> 00:36:13,320
Speaker 4: That's so hard, isn't it.

821
00:36:14,840 --> 00:36:15,040
Speaker 6: Ooh?

822
00:36:16,000 --> 00:36:20,480
Speaker 4: I feel like it's really important to not let them know,

823
00:36:20,680 --> 00:36:23,400
Speaker 4: but you know, and I worry that that feels sneaky,

824
00:36:23,480 --> 00:36:25,360
Speaker 4: and I don't mean it to feel that way, but

825
00:36:25,520 --> 00:36:27,759
Speaker 4: I think if they haven't shared it with you, it

826
00:36:27,920 --> 00:36:32,719
Speaker 4: is because they are feeling embarrassed or unsure or unconfident.

827
00:36:33,320 --> 00:36:35,600
Speaker 4: And I think that telling them that you know will

828
00:36:35,760 --> 00:36:39,040
Speaker 4: one make them feel betrayed by your absolutely friends that

829
00:36:39,160 --> 00:36:42,040
Speaker 4: shared the information. So that's going to pile on top

830
00:36:42,480 --> 00:36:44,200
Speaker 4: and it's going to make them feel embarrassed because they

831
00:36:44,200 --> 00:36:46,719
Speaker 4: didn't get to control the narrative themselves. They might start

832
00:36:46,800 --> 00:36:48,520
Speaker 4: to worry what else you've been told? Like, I think

833
00:36:48,560 --> 00:36:51,279
Speaker 4: it's just going to add to their feeling of anxiety

834
00:36:51,360 --> 00:36:54,200
Speaker 4: that they're already having. For me, the way that I

835
00:36:54,239 --> 00:36:55,719
Speaker 4: would go about it, and I have to say, you're

836
00:36:55,719 --> 00:36:58,480
Speaker 4: a great friend. It's really lovely that you do want

837
00:36:58,520 --> 00:37:02,040
Speaker 4: to help them, that you care. Yeah, Like, that's absolutely

838
00:37:02,120 --> 00:37:04,600
Speaker 4: the right instinct, that's coming from love. I think that

839
00:37:04,719 --> 00:37:06,839
Speaker 4: you need to try to open the door to them

840
00:37:07,520 --> 00:37:10,880
Speaker 4: by making those conversations comfortable. And the way that often

841
00:37:10,960 --> 00:37:13,560
Speaker 4: you can do that is by talking to people about

842
00:37:13,600 --> 00:37:16,080
Speaker 4: your problems. It's that age old saying like if you

843
00:37:16,160 --> 00:37:19,080
Speaker 4: want people to feel confident in accepting your help, you

844
00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:21,279
Speaker 4: need to ask for theirs first. To make them feel

845
00:37:21,320 --> 00:37:23,480
Speaker 4: like they can ask for something from you. So maybe

846
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:26,480
Speaker 4: talking to them about even if you're not experiencing current

847
00:37:26,600 --> 00:37:29,120
Speaker 4: financial problems, you know, talking to them about another problem

848
00:37:29,160 --> 00:37:29,640
Speaker 4: that you're having.

849
00:37:29,800 --> 00:37:32,040
Speaker 2: Or it doesn't have to be like for like, you

850
00:37:32,120 --> 00:37:34,560
Speaker 2: don't have to make stuff up because you can see

851
00:37:34,600 --> 00:37:38,520
Speaker 2: through that. That would be inauthentic or reflecting on you know,

852
00:37:38,600 --> 00:37:40,680
Speaker 2: oh my gosh, my friend is going through X y

853
00:37:40,840 --> 00:37:42,840
Speaker 2: Z and I'm trying to figure out what to do

854
00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:45,359
Speaker 2: to help them or whatever. Like, if you approach them

855
00:37:45,400 --> 00:37:48,080
Speaker 2: with your problem, it's going to make them hopefully feel

856
00:37:48,120 --> 00:37:52,200
Speaker 2: more comfortable opening up to you. And then particularly about finance,

857
00:37:52,280 --> 00:37:54,520
Speaker 2: because as we know, finance is very divisive and some

858
00:37:54,600 --> 00:37:56,400
Speaker 2: people are really comfy talking about it like we are,

859
00:37:56,480 --> 00:37:59,200
Speaker 2: and some people are so not comfortable about it at all.

860
00:37:59,760 --> 00:38:01,879
Speaker 2: Just talking about money as if it's a casual thing,

861
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:05,040
Speaker 2: like not even necessarily about financial problems, but talking about

862
00:38:05,040 --> 00:38:07,480
Speaker 2: your super talking about if you're thinking about investing or

863
00:38:07,520 --> 00:38:10,239
Speaker 2: your financial goals. Money doesn't have to be personal, no,

864
00:38:10,480 --> 00:38:12,000
Speaker 2: like it can be like I could be like Beck,

865
00:38:12,040 --> 00:38:13,120
Speaker 2: what do you wear, what do you spend?

866
00:38:13,320 --> 00:38:13,480
Speaker 4: Right?

867
00:38:13,760 --> 00:38:16,560
Speaker 2: What finds have you got? But it doesn't have to

868
00:38:16,600 --> 00:38:19,200
Speaker 2: be personal. It can be a topic lack of conversation

869
00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:22,640
Speaker 2: in the same way any other topic can be of conversation.

870
00:38:23,360 --> 00:38:26,280
Speaker 4: And I think if you start normalizing that type of conversation,

871
00:38:26,400 --> 00:38:28,960
Speaker 4: it might also make your friend feel more comfortable to

872
00:38:29,040 --> 00:38:32,200
Speaker 4: then broach that topic more personally for herself with you.

873
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:36,480
Speaker 2: Yeah, No, I agree. I think I'm very against exactly

874
00:38:36,560 --> 00:38:39,080
Speaker 2: the same as you do. Not let that friend know

875
00:38:39,800 --> 00:38:42,759
Speaker 2: that you know. Yeah, because do you know what the

876
00:38:42,800 --> 00:38:46,240
Speaker 2: worst feeling in the world is feeling betrayed, like feeling

877
00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:49,000
Speaker 2: like somebody didn't keep your secret. In fact, i'd be

878
00:38:49,400 --> 00:38:51,960
Speaker 2: quite I don't know, I'm a very black and white person.

879
00:38:52,560 --> 00:38:54,960
Speaker 2: I'd be like, why did you tell me that? Like?

880
00:38:55,040 --> 00:38:57,640
Speaker 2: Why did you break that person's trust? Obviously that's an

881
00:38:57,640 --> 00:39:00,880
Speaker 2: awful situation to be and we all know if financial troubles,

882
00:39:01,160 --> 00:39:04,440
Speaker 2: it's stressful. You feel like trash, You feel like the

883
00:39:04,560 --> 00:39:06,880
Speaker 2: weight of the world is on your shoulders, and then

884
00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:09,360
Speaker 2: on top of that, you feel like other people are

885
00:39:09,400 --> 00:39:11,839
Speaker 2: going to think that you're less than because you're experiencing

886
00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:15,080
Speaker 2: financial hardship. The last thing that you wanted when you

887
00:39:15,239 --> 00:39:18,880
Speaker 2: shared that problem, maybe you finally shared that problem with somebody,

888
00:39:19,960 --> 00:39:21,839
Speaker 2: is to know that they in the background. Then when

889
00:39:21,880 --> 00:39:24,000
Speaker 2: I told Jess, do you know what I mean, like,

890
00:39:24,480 --> 00:39:27,000
Speaker 2: I'd be heartbroken if I shared something with you, beck

891
00:39:27,360 --> 00:39:29,439
Speaker 2: and I finally felt comfortable and I'm like, oh my gosh,

892
00:39:29,480 --> 00:39:31,359
Speaker 2: this is something I'm really struggling with. And then Becky

893
00:39:31,440 --> 00:39:33,080
Speaker 2: went and talked to your friends about it, and then

894
00:39:33,320 --> 00:39:35,239
Speaker 2: your friends are approaching me being like, oh, did you

895
00:39:35,320 --> 00:39:39,319
Speaker 2: need help? I'd be like what, Like that's so overwhelming

896
00:39:39,400 --> 00:39:41,040
Speaker 2: and it's just going to make me bury my head

897
00:39:41,120 --> 00:39:43,720
Speaker 2: further in the sand and feel really distrustful of people.

898
00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:46,800
Speaker 2: So first, if you're that friend who can't keep it,

899
00:39:46,880 --> 00:39:49,840
Speaker 2: just first, if you're that friend who can't keep a secret,

900
00:39:49,960 --> 00:39:51,800
Speaker 2: have a good, hard look at yourself, because that's not

901
00:39:51,920 --> 00:39:56,720
Speaker 2: what friends do. But then two, yeah, I'm reiterating everything

902
00:39:56,760 --> 00:40:00,239
Speaker 2: that Jess said, like, yeah, don't approach it in that way.

903
00:40:00,600 --> 00:40:04,680
Speaker 2: Open honest, money conversations, sharing content. There's so many great

904
00:40:04,760 --> 00:40:08,480
Speaker 2: instagrams and podcasts out there that talk about money and

905
00:40:08,680 --> 00:40:11,400
Speaker 2: talk about things. But I really like your idea of

906
00:40:11,480 --> 00:40:13,400
Speaker 2: sharing a problem that you have so that maybe they

907
00:40:13,480 --> 00:40:17,680
Speaker 2: can open up. But then also realizing that I don't

908
00:40:17,719 --> 00:40:20,800
Speaker 2: know how to say this without seeming really harsh, but

909
00:40:20,960 --> 00:40:24,640
Speaker 2: it's not your problem to solve, Like you might want

910
00:40:24,719 --> 00:40:27,680
Speaker 2: to help them, but if they haven't reached out, maybe

911
00:40:27,760 --> 00:40:32,040
Speaker 2: you're not that person for them, like maybe empowering the

912
00:40:32,120 --> 00:40:35,319
Speaker 2: friend that told you to go. Well, actually, I'm really

913
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:38,120
Speaker 2: worried about this person, but I can't approach it. Here

914
00:40:38,200 --> 00:40:40,120
Speaker 2: are some resources that you could say are from you

915
00:40:40,320 --> 00:40:42,959
Speaker 2: to pass on to this person. Here are some things

916
00:40:43,040 --> 00:40:45,759
Speaker 2: that you could do to help them, so inadvertently they're

917
00:40:45,800 --> 00:40:49,160
Speaker 2: getting the advice, but you're not making them feel as

918
00:40:49,200 --> 00:40:51,040
Speaker 2: though everyone's talking behind their back.

919
00:40:51,239 --> 00:40:51,399
Speaker 1: Yeah.

920
00:40:51,440 --> 00:40:53,399
Speaker 5: I was going to suggest the same thing. Actually, I'm

921
00:40:53,400 --> 00:40:57,200
Speaker 5: trying to remember, like what made me comfortable when I

922
00:40:57,400 --> 00:41:00,200
Speaker 5: was in a really bad financial situation, like right before

923
00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:03,480
Speaker 5: I decided to de clear bankruptcy. And I think that

924
00:41:04,239 --> 00:41:08,440
Speaker 5: what made me tell my friends was first of all,

925
00:41:08,480 --> 00:41:11,759
Speaker 5: like security with them because I have known them and

926
00:41:11,800 --> 00:41:14,040
Speaker 5: I'm friends with them, and you know, I feel very secure.

927
00:41:14,120 --> 00:41:16,680
Speaker 5: But a complete stranger. I know this person is a

928
00:41:16,719 --> 00:41:19,600
Speaker 5: complete stranger. But let's think what would make you feel

929
00:41:19,680 --> 00:41:22,080
Speaker 5: comfortable with the complete stranger? I think, yeah, Jess, like

930
00:41:22,160 --> 00:41:24,920
Speaker 5: you're so right like sharing those stories as well. I

931
00:41:25,040 --> 00:41:28,440
Speaker 5: think though, if someone was telling me their money, not

932
00:41:28,560 --> 00:41:30,600
Speaker 5: money problems, but just like talking about money in general,

933
00:41:30,719 --> 00:41:35,360
Speaker 5: and they kind of suggested that they are not in

934
00:41:35,480 --> 00:41:37,600
Speaker 5: a bad place. It would make me a little bit

935
00:41:37,640 --> 00:41:39,759
Speaker 5: too stressed to talk about my situation, Like if I

936
00:41:40,120 --> 00:41:42,839
Speaker 5: when I talk to friends and they're like, oh, it's

937
00:41:42,880 --> 00:41:44,839
Speaker 5: the end of pay cycle. I'm really stressed about money.

938
00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:47,080
Speaker 5: I don't have to dig into my sa dig into

939
00:41:47,080 --> 00:41:51,200
Speaker 5: my saving Yea, I am closed off from you because

940
00:41:51,320 --> 00:41:52,920
Speaker 5: you are. I cannot relate to you.

941
00:41:53,440 --> 00:41:53,880
Speaker 1: This is you know.

942
00:41:54,040 --> 00:41:56,680
Speaker 5: I'm trying to get there now. But back in the day,

943
00:41:56,680 --> 00:41:58,759
Speaker 5: I'd be like back in the day, I literally mean

944
00:41:58,880 --> 00:42:00,960
Speaker 5: like a month ago, I would be like, Okay, I'm

945
00:42:01,160 --> 00:42:03,880
Speaker 5: not telling this person that I have zero savings.

946
00:42:03,960 --> 00:42:07,280
Speaker 2: I'm just like, yeah, you're I'm stressed too, but totally

947
00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:10,840
Speaker 2: hate to dip into my non existence exactly.

948
00:42:11,320 --> 00:42:13,479
Speaker 5: And so I think that that is a very good

949
00:42:13,600 --> 00:42:15,880
Speaker 5: way to do it. But also just just being conscious

950
00:42:15,880 --> 00:42:18,480
Speaker 5: that this situation might be so much worse than you

951
00:42:18,840 --> 00:42:21,440
Speaker 5: could have ever imagined. It could be like something you've

952
00:42:21,480 --> 00:42:25,120
Speaker 5: never experienced before. I think the easiest, safest way to

953
00:42:25,560 --> 00:42:27,920
Speaker 5: go about this is just, yeah, presenting yourself as a

954
00:42:28,040 --> 00:42:30,399
Speaker 5: very safe person because you probably are, like you sound

955
00:42:30,440 --> 00:42:33,520
Speaker 5: like a very good friend, and let them come to you.

956
00:42:34,400 --> 00:42:36,360
Speaker 5: But I think exactly as you were saying, V like,

957
00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:38,759
Speaker 5: maybe the best thing to do is like find those

958
00:42:38,880 --> 00:42:43,480
Speaker 5: resources for yourself, because financial struggles can be so bad

959
00:42:44,080 --> 00:42:47,120
Speaker 5: that you're like, I don't know how to get out

960
00:42:47,120 --> 00:42:49,400
Speaker 5: of this. I just don't know how to get out

961
00:42:49,400 --> 00:42:51,879
Speaker 5: of this, and I don't think I ever will, And so, yeah,

962
00:42:52,239 --> 00:42:56,560
Speaker 5: finding resources like being like an advocate for bankruptcy if

963
00:42:56,560 --> 00:42:58,759
Speaker 5: you need to be, being an advocate for all these

964
00:42:58,800 --> 00:43:02,040
Speaker 5: other things, and then sending that message through the friend

965
00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:04,440
Speaker 5: that knows. Yeah, so I know, I understand, Like the

966
00:43:04,480 --> 00:43:06,600
Speaker 5: friend might just genuinely be like, I'm scared for my

967
00:43:06,680 --> 00:43:08,160
Speaker 5: friend and I don't know I need to tell you. Yeah,

968
00:43:08,200 --> 00:43:09,920
Speaker 5: so that's fine, but I get it.

969
00:43:10,360 --> 00:43:12,520
Speaker 4: You know it's coming. It's all coming from a good place,

970
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:14,280
Speaker 4: Like it's coming from a place of love and concern

971
00:43:14,360 --> 00:43:16,720
Speaker 4: from everyone. But I think if someone's already feeling stressed,

972
00:43:16,760 --> 00:43:19,279
Speaker 4: anything you can do to not add to that anxiety, Yeah,

973
00:43:19,280 --> 00:43:19,759
Speaker 4: a good thing.

974
00:43:20,120 --> 00:43:22,720
Speaker 2: No, I agree, And I feel like, as you've been talking,

975
00:43:22,800 --> 00:43:27,000
Speaker 2: Beckett reminds me of this concept of leading with empathy,

976
00:43:27,120 --> 00:43:30,600
Speaker 2: not sympathy, Like I feel like when you're sympathetic of someone,

977
00:43:30,640 --> 00:43:32,719
Speaker 2: you're like, oh, Beck, are you okay? Like that must

978
00:43:32,800 --> 00:43:36,440
Speaker 2: be really shit. Oh, I feel so bad for you. Instead,

979
00:43:36,480 --> 00:43:38,680
Speaker 2: you're leading with empathy and going, well, how can I help?

980
00:43:38,880 --> 00:43:41,160
Speaker 2: Like I can understand that that would be an awful

981
00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:43,560
Speaker 2: situation to be in, but we're like being proactive and

982
00:43:43,600 --> 00:43:46,239
Speaker 2: we're helping. And I think that it's really important to

983
00:43:46,360 --> 00:43:48,680
Speaker 2: reframe that because so often you can be like, I

984
00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:51,560
Speaker 2: feel so bad for you. That's not what that person needs.

985
00:43:51,719 --> 00:43:53,759
Speaker 2: Like I can almost guarantee, Beck, if you were going

986
00:43:53,840 --> 00:43:56,120
Speaker 2: through that bankruptcy journey and I said, oh my god, Beck,

987
00:43:56,160 --> 00:43:59,200
Speaker 2: I feel so bad for you, you'd be like thanks, bitch,

988
00:44:00,160 --> 00:44:02,319
Speaker 2: do you know what I mean? Like you'd be like cool,

989
00:44:02,960 --> 00:44:05,320
Speaker 2: Like that doesn't help me. It just reminds me that

990
00:44:05,400 --> 00:44:08,880
Speaker 2: my situation is not good, yeah, and that it's trash,

991
00:44:09,120 --> 00:44:12,000
Speaker 2: Like I don't want that. So I think just making

992
00:44:12,040 --> 00:44:14,919
Speaker 2: sure that you're leading with not making the person feel

993
00:44:15,000 --> 00:44:18,719
Speaker 2: like their situation is that bad, more leading with like, oh, Beck,

994
00:44:18,960 --> 00:44:21,320
Speaker 2: no stress like keeps. Some people go through bankruptcy. My

995
00:44:21,480 --> 00:44:23,879
Speaker 2: mate went through it and they're fine now. Like it's

996
00:44:23,960 --> 00:44:27,720
Speaker 2: those things that can help you feel more empowered instead

997
00:44:27,760 --> 00:44:31,040
Speaker 2: of burdened by what you're going through. And I just yeah,

998
00:44:31,400 --> 00:44:34,879
Speaker 2: So we obviously put that out to the community and said, well,

999
00:44:35,160 --> 00:44:37,200
Speaker 2: what is your two cents? The first question we asked

1000
00:44:37,320 --> 00:44:39,359
Speaker 2: was would you reach out to help a friend who

1001
00:44:39,440 --> 00:44:42,040
Speaker 2: is in financial trouble even though you weren't meant to know.

1002
00:44:42,600 --> 00:44:46,239
Speaker 2: Twenty five percent said absolutely, I'd still help. Seventy five

1003
00:44:46,320 --> 00:44:48,600
Speaker 2: percent said no, I've got to respect to their privacy.

1004
00:44:49,640 --> 00:44:50,360
Speaker 4: Interesting split.

1005
00:44:50,800 --> 00:44:54,160
Speaker 2: Interesting split. I totally get it and I get wanting

1006
00:44:54,239 --> 00:44:58,960
Speaker 2: to help. Yeah, I feel like I would really struggle. Yeah, like,

1007
00:44:59,400 --> 00:45:01,319
Speaker 2: don't tell me, don't tell me if I'm not meant

1008
00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:04,120
Speaker 2: to know, because I suck and I'm really transparent too,

1009
00:45:04,360 --> 00:45:06,040
Speaker 2: Like You'll be like, Victoria, do you know about this?

1010
00:45:06,120 --> 00:45:10,919
Speaker 2: And I'm no, No, I've never heard. That's crazy Josica. Yeah,

1011
00:45:11,120 --> 00:45:14,400
Speaker 2: like ask Jess, like I can't lie for absolutely trash,

1012
00:45:14,600 --> 00:45:17,680
Speaker 2: Like it's the worst. The question we then asked was,

1013
00:45:17,800 --> 00:45:19,920
Speaker 2: let's flip it, how would you feel if you were

1014
00:45:19,960 --> 00:45:22,560
Speaker 2: in financial trouble and a friend who wasn't supposed to

1015
00:45:22,680 --> 00:45:26,359
Speaker 2: know reached out. Twenty six percent said I'd be really

1016
00:45:26,400 --> 00:45:29,280
Speaker 2: grateful for the help, but seventy four percent said honestly,

1017
00:45:29,360 --> 00:45:30,240
Speaker 2: I'd feel betrayed.

1018
00:45:30,880 --> 00:45:33,400
Speaker 4: Yeah, in seven of that split is very similar to

1019
00:45:33,480 --> 00:45:34,120
Speaker 4: the previous split.

1020
00:45:34,600 --> 00:45:37,719
Speaker 2: Yeah, maybe same same. So then we said, all right,

1021
00:45:37,800 --> 00:45:40,160
Speaker 2: give us your two cents. What are your comments on this?

1022
00:45:40,640 --> 00:45:42,640
Speaker 2: And we got more than a few handfuls of them.

1023
00:45:43,080 --> 00:45:44,960
Speaker 2: So one of you said, bring up money with the

1024
00:45:45,040 --> 00:45:47,239
Speaker 2: friend in a mutual way. For example, Oh, my god,

1025
00:45:47,320 --> 00:45:49,960
Speaker 2: have you ever heard of she's on the money? Great?

1026
00:45:50,600 --> 00:45:54,160
Speaker 2: We love it. Great suggestion. Someone else said, don't mention

1027
00:45:54,280 --> 00:45:56,920
Speaker 2: it because it could blow up the relationship with the confidante,

1028
00:45:57,040 --> 00:46:00,680
Speaker 2: who may be their only support. Just like if they're

1029
00:46:00,719 --> 00:46:02,839
Speaker 2: the only person that they trusted and then you're making

1030
00:46:02,880 --> 00:46:06,439
Speaker 2: them not trust them, Like, that's not good. Someone else said,

1031
00:46:06,520 --> 00:46:09,160
Speaker 2: don't come in trying to fix it, but generally just

1032
00:46:09,239 --> 00:46:11,120
Speaker 2: talk to your friend. If they don't bring it up,

1033
00:46:11,160 --> 00:46:14,359
Speaker 2: then it's your job to leave it. Someone else said,

1034
00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:17,360
Speaker 2: maybe do some low key things for them, like invite

1035
00:46:17,360 --> 00:46:21,359
Speaker 2: them for dinner and pay. Another person said, why can

1036
00:46:21,440 --> 00:46:26,359
Speaker 2: no one keep a secret these days? Literally? Someone else said,

1037
00:46:26,400 --> 00:46:28,960
Speaker 2: maybe like a random act of anonymous kindness, drop a

1038
00:46:29,000 --> 00:46:31,800
Speaker 2: gift voucher in their mailbox, or have some basic groceries

1039
00:46:31,840 --> 00:46:32,160
Speaker 2: to live it.

1040
00:46:32,480 --> 00:46:34,920
Speaker 4: That's nice, that's weird.

1041
00:46:35,120 --> 00:46:40,000
Speaker 2: Sweet the groceries delivered, I feel like is underrated, Like

1042
00:46:40,160 --> 00:46:43,279
Speaker 2: if you've got a friend going through a struggle, having

1043
00:46:43,360 --> 00:46:48,960
Speaker 2: the basics dropped at your door, Oh imagine true, imagine

1044
00:46:49,000 --> 00:46:52,480
Speaker 2: even just like bread, milk, eggs, all of those things

1045
00:46:52,560 --> 00:46:56,600
Speaker 2: that you just like, pantry staples. Yeah, like, oh thanks,

1046
00:46:56,800 --> 00:47:00,359
Speaker 2: Like it would take off so much pressure. And said

1047
00:47:00,480 --> 00:47:02,560
Speaker 2: if a friend is in trouble and wanted you to know,

1048
00:47:03,200 --> 00:47:03,520
Speaker 2: you'd know.

1049
00:47:04,520 --> 00:47:05,959
Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, that's very true.

1050
00:47:06,600 --> 00:47:08,680
Speaker 2: Then someone else said, this person seems to have a

1051
00:47:08,719 --> 00:47:10,920
Speaker 2: really big heart and the drive to help. Maybe they

1052
00:47:10,960 --> 00:47:14,000
Speaker 2: should try some volunteering and working in money in a

1053
00:47:14,080 --> 00:47:17,520
Speaker 2: different way. And then someone else said, I'd bring it

1054
00:47:17,640 --> 00:47:20,560
Speaker 2: up casually, So, for example, I'd chat about the cost

1055
00:47:20,640 --> 00:47:22,680
Speaker 2: of living is really hitting me hard and try and

1056
00:47:22,760 --> 00:47:26,800
Speaker 2: make it a relatable conversation. I just feel like I

1057
00:47:26,960 --> 00:47:29,239
Speaker 2: get it. But I am the type of person that

1058
00:47:29,360 --> 00:47:31,680
Speaker 2: if I told you a secret and you told someone else,

1059
00:47:31,719 --> 00:47:33,840
Speaker 2: I'd feel betrayed. At the end of the day. I

1060
00:47:33,880 --> 00:47:36,920
Speaker 2: think I'd end up more upset that my secret was shared,

1061
00:47:37,040 --> 00:47:39,200
Speaker 2: rather than I had the secret to begin with.

1062
00:47:39,760 --> 00:47:42,360
Speaker 4: Some good practical suggestions there from people. I like the

1063
00:47:42,400 --> 00:47:45,440
Speaker 4: idea of helping anonymously. You're finding it, you know, Oh

1064
00:47:45,480 --> 00:47:47,960
Speaker 4: my gosh, I did a click and collect and I

1065
00:47:48,080 --> 00:47:50,120
Speaker 4: got someone else's click collect I have all these extra

1066
00:47:50,160 --> 00:47:52,440
Speaker 4: groceries I don't need. Would you wants?

1067
00:47:52,680 --> 00:47:52,919
Speaker 7: Yeah?

1068
00:47:53,360 --> 00:47:55,719
Speaker 4: I think that's a really nice subtle way as well

1069
00:47:55,840 --> 00:47:56,760
Speaker 4: to try and help.

1070
00:47:56,600 --> 00:47:59,840
Speaker 2: One hundred percent. Well, guys, that's sadly all we have

1071
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:02,800
Speaker 2: time for today. It's been a fun time.

1072
00:48:02,960 --> 00:48:04,719
Speaker 4: Sure, it has been a great time.

1073
00:48:05,160 --> 00:48:07,239
Speaker 2: But we will see you bright nearly on Monday morning

1074
00:48:07,280 --> 00:48:09,640
Speaker 2: for a money dary. And I've got another little bonus

1075
00:48:09,680 --> 00:48:12,759
Speaker 2: episode dropping in your ears tomorrow morning, so watch out

1076
00:48:12,800 --> 00:48:14,560
Speaker 2: for that. But have the best weekend, guys.

1077
00:48:14,840 --> 00:48:16,000
Speaker 4: By guys, bye.

1078
00:48:21,840 --> 00:48:24,360
Speaker 7: Did buy shared on She's on the Money is general

1079
00:48:24,440 --> 00:48:28,279
Speaker 7: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's

1080
00:48:28,320 --> 00:48:31,760
Speaker 7: on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should

1081
00:48:31,840 --> 00:48:34,960
Speaker 7: not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.

1082
00:48:35,360 --> 00:48:37,799
Speaker 7: If you do choose to buy a financial product, read

1083
00:48:37,840 --> 00:48:41,960
Speaker 7: the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards

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00:48:42,000 --> 00:48:45,279
Speaker 7: your needs. Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are

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00:48:45,360 --> 00:48:50,319
Speaker 7: authorized representatives of Money Shoper Pty Ltd ABN three two

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00:48:50,440 --> 00:48:53,399
Speaker 7: one IS six four nine two seven seven zero eight

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00:48:53,719 --> 00:48:56,239
Speaker 7: AFSL four five one two eight nine