Speaker 1: It is their pickup with Britt, Laura and Mitch right
Speaker 1: around Australia. Welcome Hi, rushing to Chemists Warehouse this Father's
Speaker 1: Day for big brand fragrances at the lowest prices Chemists
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Speaker 1: means it's time for this.
Speaker 2: Ask a cat, So ask on Kut is something that
Speaker 2: we do on our podcast Life Uncut every week. It
Speaker 2: is where we answer you're deep, you're duck, and you're
Speaker 2: burning questions. And now we have quite a tricky question
Speaker 2: today about when is the appropriate time to introduce kids
Speaker 2: to your new partner.
Speaker 1: Yeah, Katie on thirteen one of sixty five. Holo Katie,
Speaker 1: what's going on? What's your question?
Speaker 3: Hi guys, So my question is I've been a relationship
Speaker 3: now for six months with someone I'm very into, I'm
Speaker 3: in love with, and I want to introduce him to
Speaker 3: my kids. I'm just not sure on if it's right
Speaker 3: time now, when to do it, what I should do.
Speaker 3: We both have been married before and both now divorce.
Speaker 3: This will be the first partner we've both introduced our
Speaker 3: kids too. We don't want to stuff it up.
Speaker 2: It's so's some advice. How many kids you guys, do
Speaker 2: you have kids? Does he have kids? Like, what's the dynamics.
Speaker 3: We both have kids. So I've got an eight and
Speaker 3: a ten year old and he has a nine and
Speaker 3: eleven year old, so we like the Brady bunch. We've
Speaker 3: got one between like, yeah, four ages.
Speaker 2: Do the kids know that you're that you've been dating
Speaker 2: or this comes? Oh, they do know. They know that
Speaker 2: you've been kind of you know, seeing what's out there.
Speaker 3: Yeah. So I've said that I've got a boyfriend, and
Speaker 3: he said that to his girlfriend to his kids, but
Speaker 3: we haven't introduced them to each other yet, and we
Speaker 3: just want to make sure we get it right because
Speaker 3: this is both really important to us, so we want
Speaker 3: to make sure we get right.
Speaker 4: From the outside, I would say I wouldn't be I mean,
Speaker 4: I've had friends in this situation. I wouldn't be doing
Speaker 4: any introductions unless you thought it was really seriously. I
Speaker 4: know that you say you love each other, but there's
Speaker 4: a difference between being in love with each other and
Speaker 4: actually wanting a future. I think if you know you're
Speaker 4: going to be serious, that's when you make the introductions
Speaker 4: to each other. And I think I imagine myself just
Speaker 4: doing a really fun day out, something really low key.
Speaker 4: Everyone's hanging out. You're not too affectionate, like public in
Speaker 4: front of the kids with each other. It's more just
Speaker 4: like exactly what you said, the Brady Bunch goes to
Speaker 4: a park day or whatever it is. It makes it
Speaker 4: really low key, maybe a small amount of time, an
Speaker 4: hour or two, just as like a soft intro.
Speaker 2: Yes, eight and eleven is really young, but it's also
Speaker 2: old enough to know what's going on. Like I mean,
Speaker 2: my parents were divorced when I was young, and both
Speaker 2: my parents dated and we got introduced to boyfriends and
Speaker 2: to girlfriends and remember that now was yeah, I totally
Speaker 2: remember it. I did upset you, going, this is mum
Speaker 2: and Dad's new partner.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: But I think the thing that made it challenging for
Speaker 2: me is like my mom had a few different boyfriends
Speaker 2: throughout my childhood, and I guess like you get attached
Speaker 2: to them and then they leave, you know, So it
Speaker 2: is really hard if you then kind of feel like
Speaker 2: you have a connection with that person and then after
Speaker 2: a year or two years, they're no longer in your
Speaker 2: life anymore. On the flip side of that, if you
Speaker 2: don't like the person and your parents don't do things
Speaker 2: kind of in a slow way, which having my stepdad,
Speaker 2: I couldn't stand him. It kind of felt like my
Speaker 2: feelings didn't matter, but everybody else's feelings were prioritize. So
Speaker 2: it's really it is funny that balance. But make it
Speaker 2: fun and keep the interactions short during the day and
Speaker 2: just don't do sleepovers until you get to a point
Speaker 2: where it's become like you feel like they're part of
Speaker 2: the family, and also that the kids feel like they
Speaker 2: have a bit of a say in it as well.
Speaker 4: Katie, what's the relationship like with your kid's dad? And
Speaker 4: also like his ex as well.
Speaker 3: He dated someone pretty much straight away. I didn't read
Speaker 3: into that how you will, but they lived together for
Speaker 3: a couple of years, and they met her a fair
Speaker 3: way into their relationship because they lived overseas, and the
Speaker 3: kids didn't really like her. And that's what I think
Speaker 3: I'm a little bit scared of because I don't want
Speaker 3: that to be with this because I've dated people for
Speaker 3: the last four years and nothing's really ever been good
Speaker 3: enough to introduce them to if that makes sense. Like
Speaker 3: I've been very wary of not bringing in every person
Speaker 3: that's sort of Oh they're nice. Why not? It's been
Speaker 3: like it has to be something that is going somewhere,
Speaker 3: And like I had a relationship for eighteen months that
Speaker 3: never went anywhere, and so they never ever knew he
Speaker 3: even existed. Wo Yeah, Like I made sure that I've
Speaker 3: only ever introduced or never introduced really anyone as a boyfriend.
Speaker 3: And I know this one's going somewhere. I finally found
Speaker 3: someone who is worth that, and I just want to
Speaker 3: make sure that I get it right for the kids
Speaker 3: and for us as well, because you know, we want
Speaker 3: a future together, you know, and the kids are the
Speaker 3: most important part, and we both recognize that. Well.
Speaker 2: I think it sounds like you were both amazing parents.
Speaker 2: And the fact that you already are thinking so much
Speaker 2: about how they're going to respond, and the fact that
Speaker 2: you've already taken so many precautions to protect them along
Speaker 2: this way, I actually think you've done everything right, and
Speaker 2: just taking small steps and not forcing time upon them
Speaker 2: is probably the next bit. But I think the sounds
Speaker 2: of things you actually are doing everything right. By your
Speaker 2: sound amazing.
Speaker 1: You're going to get the partner that they love, and
Speaker 1: then your exes part of who they hate like you've
Speaker 1: won the breakup.
Speaker 3: That's brilliant.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that was brilliant. That's the best situation. We'll keep
Speaker 1: us up dated, Katie. Okay, hope that helps. Yeah, no worries, Katie. Also,
Speaker 1: we're gonna give you a double pass to the Life
Speaker 1: Uncut Live show happening later in the year.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and you can bring your boyfriend because it'll be
Speaker 2: a great education piece for him.
Speaker 3: I will do that. Thank you so much, guys. I've
Speaker 3: been afairs for such a long time. It's lovely to
Speaker 3: talk to me.
Speaker 1: I wait to see that, all right, still to come
Speaker 1: here at the Pickup. You guys know Olivia Fraser from
Speaker 1: Married at First Sight?
Speaker 2: Hi, Yes, she's so and was so controversial on MASS
Speaker 2: and she copps so much trolling and backlash after that
Speaker 2: show finished.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well, she's been emotional on Socials this week. She
Speaker 1: moved overseas for a new lover, or so she thought
Speaker 1: it all went wrong, and she's going to join us
Speaker 1: from Scotland to tell us her story next on the Pickup.