WEBVTT - How To Kick Someone Out Of Your Bed🦶️ 🛌 0:00:01.520 --> 0:00:04.440 Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex 0:00:04.480 --> 0:00:05.960 and Frooms catch up podcast. 0:00:08.160 --> 0:00:10.479 It's Flex and Frooms and Today on the Potty. I 0:00:10.520 --> 0:00:12.680 hope you really loved it. Last week we started like 0:00:12.760 --> 0:00:14.680 telling you what's in episodes. I actually listened back to 0:00:14.680 --> 0:00:16.200 the episode, as you know, Flex, I listened to our 0:00:16.239 --> 0:00:20.720 episodes to relax. Oh that is that was really funny 0:00:20.720 --> 0:00:21.120 that one. 0:00:21.320 --> 0:00:23.919 And get the gags hit every time, like I laugh 0:00:23.960 --> 0:00:25.319 at the same time every time. 0:00:25.520 --> 0:00:27.200 What you say makes more sense when you listen to 0:00:27.240 --> 0:00:27.560 it back. 0:00:29.560 --> 0:00:30.680 I'm serious, Thank you. 0:00:30.960 --> 0:00:32.960 It needs a bit of processing, but yeah, thank you. 0:00:33.360 --> 0:00:35.360 How am I not picking that up? That makes pervict chance? 0:00:35.680 --> 0:00:37.239 But you know it's different in the when you're in 0:00:37.240 --> 0:00:37.600 the room. 0:00:37.479 --> 0:00:40.360 When you're when you're in the Devil's l Ma lair. 0:00:42.040 --> 0:00:43.599 This one is about what to do when you want 0:00:43.600 --> 0:00:45.479 someone to live your house. Doesn't have to be romantic. 0:00:45.800 --> 0:00:47.479 If we're your friends, have for dinner. But this is 0:00:47.520 --> 0:00:51.680 a very specific situation. No incrimination disclaim. 0:00:51.720 --> 0:00:53.760 I don't think we even answered the question. To be fair, 0:00:53.800 --> 0:00:56.240 we definitely didn't, but we will one day. I will 0:00:56.240 --> 0:00:59.320 make sure of it. Mummy. Can I listen to Flex 0:00:59.360 --> 0:01:04.960 and Frooms? Flex and froms Okada. I like to consider 0:01:04.959 --> 0:01:08.479 myself a bit of a anthropologist. You know, if I 0:01:08.520 --> 0:01:13.280 am engaging in conversation or socializing, I am mining data. 0:01:13.440 --> 0:01:14.200 I'm terrifying. 0:01:14.319 --> 0:01:17.640 You know, I'm drawing conclusions, and sometimes I really do snap. 0:01:18.080 --> 0:01:21.080 Sometimes what I'm coming up with is like so fresh, 0:01:21.360 --> 0:01:24.759 never foreseen or heard, and other times I'm thinking, why 0:01:24.760 --> 0:01:27.360 haven't I drawn this conclusion sooner? In my office, we 0:01:27.400 --> 0:01:30.279 haven't officed toddler. She comes in every now and then. 0:01:30.520 --> 0:01:33.320 She does belong to one of the stuff, but she's 0:01:33.440 --> 0:01:37.000 really amazing, and through getting to know her, I'm seeing 0:01:37.120 --> 0:01:40.800 how just like how evolved children can be. And so 0:01:41.360 --> 0:01:43.240 obviously now that she's warmed up to me and she 0:01:43.280 --> 0:01:45.120 knows me really well, she can like pick me out 0:01:45.120 --> 0:01:47.119 in a picture. She knows what I eat, she knows 0:01:47.160 --> 0:01:50.400 where I'm going. She's very smart. But what's been happening 0:01:50.440 --> 0:01:53.000 now is that if I don't see her for five days, 0:01:53.240 --> 0:01:57.960 she's mean, and she's she's closed off and she's agitated, 0:01:58.040 --> 0:02:00.960 and she is like torn between wanting to speak to 0:02:01.000 --> 0:02:03.440 me but also remembering that I left her for five 0:02:03.480 --> 0:02:06.400 days and not really understanding why. And then you know, 0:02:06.480 --> 0:02:08.399 like we find it really committed be like, oh, say 0:02:08.400 --> 0:02:10.760 goodbye now, and she's freaking out because she's like, well, 0:02:10.800 --> 0:02:13.800 when are you coming back? And why are you going 0:02:13.960 --> 0:02:16.720 and all of these things. And it reminds me of 0:02:16.760 --> 0:02:20.040 this really terrible habit that I had and had to 0:02:20.080 --> 0:02:23.320 break as an adult, of being mean when I missed people, 0:02:24.040 --> 0:02:26.440 or you know, like wanting to be close to someone 0:02:26.480 --> 0:02:30.800 but then pushing them away because I was like preempting 0:02:31.240 --> 0:02:35.520 them going away again. And it's just so counterintuitive, but 0:02:35.560 --> 0:02:39.360 I'm like, this is happening in childhood. This is like 0:02:39.400 --> 0:02:42.200 a childhood based thing, because I'm not even sure that 0:02:42.240 --> 0:02:45.440 she's like fully comprehending this idea, because do kids really 0:02:45.480 --> 0:02:48.640 have like perception like that she's old enough to understand that. 0:02:48.760 --> 0:02:51.320 Like somedays she spends the whole day with me. She's 0:02:51.320 --> 0:02:54.320 sitting on my lap or doing emails, watching Little Tiktoks. Okay, 0:02:54.680 --> 0:02:56.840 she's pointing out pictures saying pretty, and I'm like, oh, 0:02:56.880 --> 0:03:00.560 isn't that pretty? And then other days she's like closed 0:03:00.639 --> 0:03:03.760 off and I have to be like, hey, I'm sorry, 0:03:04.160 --> 0:03:08.360 were you upset when I left? You're like yeah, which 0:03:09.120 --> 0:03:11.560 makes me think of two things. Number One, I don't 0:03:11.600 --> 0:03:14.880 know if you've ever read in nonfiction, they say, if 0:03:14.919 --> 0:03:17.200 you want to have successful relationships with adults, you need 0:03:17.200 --> 0:03:19.760 to think of them as children. So you need to 0:03:19.800 --> 0:03:24.280 stop assuming that every adult is behaving in a really healthy, 0:03:24.720 --> 0:03:29.079 evolved way, because we're just little babies in adult bodies. 0:03:29.320 --> 0:03:31.400 And I used to think that was just like infantilizing 0:03:31.440 --> 0:03:33.520 everyone and giving everyone the benefit of the doubt. But 0:03:33.560 --> 0:03:37.760 then watching the way that I let her, or not 0:03:37.840 --> 0:03:40.320 even let her, but the way that I respected her 0:03:40.680 --> 0:03:44.200 frustration with not understanding why I couldn't be around is 0:03:44.320 --> 0:03:46.240 not the kind of lenience I would give with an adult. 0:03:46.280 --> 0:03:49.200 I don't think, like if you threw me, were suddenly 0:03:49.280 --> 0:03:51.000 off me because you hadn't seen me for a week, 0:03:51.040 --> 0:03:53.960 I'd be like, grow up, it happens, you know. I'd 0:03:53.960 --> 0:03:55.920 be like, like, why are you making it a big deal? 0:03:56.520 --> 0:03:59.080 Sooner than I would have empathy and say, well maybe that, 0:03:59.320 --> 0:04:02.760 like was it hit her like that? Yeah? Like why 0:04:02.800 --> 0:04:06.240 can't I be mindful or empathetic or generous enough with 0:04:06.320 --> 0:04:09.160 my emotions to validate yours even if I don't feel 0:04:09.200 --> 0:04:09.720 the same way. 0:04:10.480 --> 0:04:12.160 It's like when you have a dream where someone's being 0:04:12.200 --> 0:04:14.280 really mean. Yeah, made a couple of days. 0:04:14.080 --> 0:04:18.840 To aha exactly because you gotta let it roll off, 0:04:18.880 --> 0:04:20.960 and sometimes it takes a little bit longer. And when 0:04:21.040 --> 0:04:24.080 you rush the process or you feel rushed, that's when 0:04:24.080 --> 0:04:26.880 that mean spirit comes out, like I'm already because when 0:04:26.880 --> 0:04:28.800 I needed you, you went around, So now I'm not 0:04:28.880 --> 0:04:31.919 ready to be friends right now. So I say this 0:04:31.960 --> 0:04:37.160 all to say people, we humans, adults would benefit from 0:04:37.160 --> 0:04:40.839 interacting with children, definitely, because somehow you just start to 0:04:40.880 --> 0:04:44.880 see like not a lot has changed between me interacting 0:04:44.920 --> 0:04:46.480 with a three year old and a thirty year old 0:04:46.480 --> 0:04:50.680 in the best way. Humor is so similar and why 0:04:50.760 --> 0:04:54.240 we like it the same jokes, not just humor generally. 0:04:54.839 --> 0:04:56.760 How does she know what's pretty? But do you know 0:04:56.800 --> 0:04:57.400 what pretty is? 0:04:57.640 --> 0:04:58.240 Yeah? 0:04:58.320 --> 0:05:01.200 How does she know when we're at work? Or how 0:05:01.240 --> 0:05:03.880 does she know? Like just the way that she's able 0:05:03.920 --> 0:05:09.200 to connect theories, Like I facetimed my best friend when 0:05:09.240 --> 0:05:11.440 she was on a train, and I think she thinks 0:05:11.440 --> 0:05:13.120 my best friend lives on a train. 0:05:13.720 --> 0:05:16.839 Before she knows because we don't know where she is at. 0:05:17.720 --> 0:05:19.760 It's like object permanent, so they don't think that you 0:05:20.200 --> 0:05:24.880 exist until you're there. That's why it's got whiplash. 0:05:24.960 --> 0:05:25.440 I was in a. 0:05:25.400 --> 0:05:28.479 Situation earlier this week, where I had a friend over. 0:05:28.920 --> 0:05:29.599 They slept over. 0:05:29.839 --> 0:05:31.680 Yeah, okay. 0:05:31.720 --> 0:05:35.920 In the morning, I woke up feeling quite ill. Okay, 0:05:36.320 --> 0:05:38.760 some drinks had been consumed. It was a really really 0:05:38.839 --> 0:05:42.320 large night. It was a late night, and I'm waking 0:05:42.400 --> 0:05:44.719 up and feeling like I want my own personal space. Okay, 0:05:44.920 --> 0:05:47.760 it's nothing on this person. It's just when it's a Sunday. 0:05:48.120 --> 0:05:50.000 I needed them to leave my house so I could 0:05:50.120 --> 0:05:53.760 order big macmeal at nine am and rot in my 0:05:53.839 --> 0:05:55.960 bed in yearsah watching the notebook. 0:05:56.000 --> 0:05:57.480 And now of a sudden, you're hosting. 0:05:57.680 --> 0:05:59.440 I said, I have not signed up for a twenty 0:05:59.480 --> 0:06:02.760 four hour hope. It's like, this is not Airbnb. My 0:06:02.800 --> 0:06:04.440 alarm goes off at eight am. I forgot to turn 0:06:04.480 --> 0:06:07.080 it off, so obviously I'm awoken by the sounds of 0:06:07.080 --> 0:06:10.920 an extreme alarm, and shit gets real very very quickly. 0:06:11.440 --> 0:06:14.680 I stir thinking, oh, and my friend is still there. 0:06:17.000 --> 0:06:19.920 Another hour passes of me stirring, being like, I don't 0:06:19.920 --> 0:06:22.279 know how to get up. I don't know what to 0:06:22.360 --> 0:06:24.760 do because I'm really tired. I have to get up 0:06:24.800 --> 0:06:26.800 because I want my own personal space, but I'm just 0:06:26.839 --> 0:06:30.520 too tired to move. Gets about nine o'clock and I'm thinking, Okay, 0:06:30.520 --> 0:06:32.040 we've got to make some moves. Boys, we gotta make 0:06:32.080 --> 0:06:35.279 some mooves. I text one of my best friends, Okay. 0:06:35.680 --> 0:06:37.560 They were also meant to be staying at my house 0:06:37.600 --> 0:06:40.200 because they were inter state. We've been partying together, so 0:06:40.240 --> 0:06:41.839 I was expecting him to come to my house. But 0:06:42.120 --> 0:06:44.800 he wasn't there. I text him and say, hey, can 0:06:44.839 --> 0:06:47.960 you please call me and say that I'm late for 0:06:48.000 --> 0:06:51.000 a breakfast because I have no spine. I don't know 0:06:51.000 --> 0:06:53.359 how to ask this king that I please need some 0:06:53.400 --> 0:06:54.000 personal space. 0:06:54.040 --> 0:06:55.279 Now. My friend doesn't reply. 0:06:56.040 --> 0:06:58.080 It's been twenty minutes, so I'm like, okay, I need 0:06:58.120 --> 0:06:58.839 to grab a shower. 0:06:59.279 --> 0:07:00.000 I have a shower. 0:07:00.320 --> 0:07:02.120 By the time I'm back from the shower, my friend 0:07:02.160 --> 0:07:04.480 is dressed and he's gonna yeat out the door perfect 0:07:04.520 --> 0:07:07.480 like fantastic, thank you so much, lays back into bed. 0:07:08.400 --> 0:07:11.000 I start falling asleep. Okay, I'm back in my comfort zone. 0:07:11.440 --> 0:07:16.720 Two hours later, my friend who had messaged called me 0:07:17.280 --> 0:07:21.400 and said, hey, Listinda, we've got breakfast. And I said 0:07:21.440 --> 0:07:23.640 what He's like, We've got breakfast like at the a 0:07:23.720 --> 0:07:26.840 Si Bowl place. It's our friend's birthday. Can't even remember 0:07:26.920 --> 0:07:29.360 we're organizing her present today. 0:07:29.320 --> 0:07:33.400 And I was like, wait, what, no, what do you mean. 0:07:33.840 --> 0:07:36.840 He's like, Lucinda, I told you it's a sire place. 0:07:36.920 --> 0:07:39.920 Bear balls around the corner. I'm like, I'm like, send 0:07:39.920 --> 0:07:40.600 me the group chat. 0:07:40.840 --> 0:07:41.640 Oh my god. 0:07:41.840 --> 0:07:44.280 Like he's like there was a group chat and I'm like, 0:07:44.280 --> 0:07:45.920 I don't remember the group chat. Like I'm looking through 0:07:45.960 --> 0:07:46.520 my phone. 0:07:46.760 --> 0:07:49.760 Was it on Messenger? I was on Instagram? Was it 0:07:49.800 --> 0:07:51.600 on text message? Like? 0:07:51.680 --> 0:07:53.560 I was looking like what are you talking about? And 0:07:53.600 --> 0:07:56.760 he's like, listenda, okay, I'm coming over to get you 0:07:56.800 --> 0:07:59.400 to go and get you out of bed. I was like, mate, you. 0:07:59.400 --> 0:08:02.880 Look I am fragile. I was. I am broken you're not. 0:08:03.320 --> 0:08:04.360 I was pissed off. 0:08:04.440 --> 0:08:07.720 I was like, do you have wrong anyway. Finally he 0:08:07.880 --> 0:08:10.560 calls me again and I almost don't answer. He says 0:08:10.600 --> 0:08:13.160 I'm outside, let me in, and I said, okay, rings 0:08:13.160 --> 0:08:16.640 the doorbell. I walk up, let him up, open my door, 0:08:16.800 --> 0:08:19.240 run back to my bed, being like I can't deal 0:08:19.280 --> 0:08:21.040 with this, like hopefully when he comes tack and he 0:08:21.040 --> 0:08:23.600 sees I'm asleep, he creeps into my room and says, 0:08:24.000 --> 0:08:27.640 is he still here? And I said no, what do 0:08:27.680 --> 0:08:30.240 you mean? And he hops into bed with me, and 0:08:30.280 --> 0:08:32.720 I said to my friend like, really, I just like 0:08:32.880 --> 0:08:34.400 really can't go to breakfast, Like. 0:08:34.320 --> 0:08:37.559 I'm still so sick talking about it's like, what do 0:08:37.640 --> 0:08:43.880 you mean I was? I was saving in character message. 0:08:44.760 --> 0:08:48.320 We laughed when I say, we giggled and cackled for 0:08:48.520 --> 0:08:52.320 five whole minutes, like I was fully I fully believe 0:08:52.360 --> 0:08:53.319 that we had a breakfast like. 0:08:53.320 --> 0:08:57.440 And your is tired, which friends, And I. 0:08:57.360 --> 0:09:00.280 Was like genuinely upset about it that I almost called 0:09:00.320 --> 0:09:02.400 the friend who were meant to be meeting for breakfast 0:09:02.400 --> 0:09:05.000 and saying, hey, I'm so sorry, like I spent two 0:09:05.040 --> 0:09:07.160 hours of sleep that shouldn't have been should have been 0:09:07.200 --> 0:09:13.560 beautiful over morning. So all I gotta say, guys, is 0:09:13.679 --> 0:09:17.760 this is a message to grow a spine. When you 0:09:17.800 --> 0:09:20.720 want personal space, you gotta ask for it. Don't ask 0:09:20.720 --> 0:09:22.720 for anyone else to come to your rescue. No less 0:09:22.720 --> 0:09:24.840 on a Sunday of a long weekend. Okay, because no 0:09:24.880 --> 0:09:26.040 one's answering their phones. 0:09:26.600 --> 0:09:29.040 But we have to discuss generally, how do you get 0:09:29.080 --> 0:09:31.559 people to leave your house. There's levels to it, depending 0:09:31.600 --> 0:09:34.600 on how close and comfortable, how brutal you feel like 0:09:34.600 --> 0:09:36.840 you want to be. As someone who toes the line 0:09:36.880 --> 0:09:41.840 between lone Wolf and like social Butterfly babes. Yeah, you 0:09:41.880 --> 0:09:45.280 gotta know when to go mix signals constantly, like it 0:09:45.400 --> 0:09:51.920 swings before I even know. Damn, you're listening to Flex 0:09:52.000 --> 0:09:53.320 and Rooms on kit. 0:09:53.840 --> 0:09:56.600 Do you think we're snobs if we don't like subtitles? 0:09:56.640 --> 0:09:59.760 There was an article from The Atlantic nice. The title 0:09:59.840 --> 0:10:01.880 was why is everyone watching TV? With the subtitles on? 0:10:01.920 --> 0:10:05.680 And this person went to a movie at their friend's 0:10:05.760 --> 0:10:08.920 backyard and it was Clueless? Right, they're watching Clueless. Everybody 0:10:08.960 --> 0:10:11.800 seeing the movie Clueless. We don't need the subtitles on. However, 0:10:11.840 --> 0:10:15.120 this person there's oh you left the subtitles on, to 0:10:15.160 --> 0:10:17.679 which the other person replies, oh, we always leave the 0:10:17.720 --> 0:10:20.640 subtitles on. And this person is wondering, am I a 0:10:20.679 --> 0:10:24.360 snob because of the aesthetic horror that I think that 0:10:24.640 --> 0:10:29.920 subtitles are with the gashing across the screen? Oh my gosh, 0:10:30.080 --> 0:10:31.960 this person, I hope they got paid well for this article. 0:10:32.000 --> 0:10:35.480 I mean they're bossy into it, but that is such 0:10:35.679 --> 0:10:38.680 a massive, massive, like what kind of person are you? 0:10:38.720 --> 0:10:41.280 Subtitles on or off that we don't speak about until 0:10:41.320 --> 0:10:46.800 it's too late. I'm serious, because let me tell you 0:10:46.920 --> 0:10:51.800 tell me your subconscious brain part of you thinks you're 0:10:51.800 --> 0:10:54.160 taking the whole movie in when you've got subtitles on. 0:10:54.240 --> 0:10:57.040 Absolutely you're not. You're reading the words. 0:10:57.120 --> 0:11:00.719 You're essentially reading a book you can't read subtle and 0:11:00.920 --> 0:11:03.840 look at the faces. Okay, stand with me with this 0:11:03.880 --> 0:11:04.360 with Kayla. 0:11:04.640 --> 0:11:08.920 As someone I like subtitles on, I think the screen 0:11:08.960 --> 0:11:14.000 looks empty without them. However, as someone who only ever 0:11:14.840 --> 0:11:18.920 half watches anything, it's so I can continue to half 0:11:18.960 --> 0:11:21.920 watch better, I'm already missing most of the movie and 0:11:21.960 --> 0:11:24.720 the TV show. Anytime someone recommends a TV show to 0:11:24.800 --> 0:11:26.959 me or a friend, they'll be like, you have to 0:11:26.960 --> 0:11:28.320 pay attention to this one. I say, it's out. I'm 0:11:28.320 --> 0:11:29.920 not watching su Session, I'm not doing it. I'm not 0:11:29.960 --> 0:11:31.400 watching Game of Thrones, I'm not doing it. I'm not 0:11:31.400 --> 0:11:34.040 watching Breaking Bad, not watching any show I have to 0:11:34.040 --> 0:11:37.160 pay attention to because I'm not gonna you see my. 0:11:37.200 --> 0:11:39.120 Issue watch lay Bag Their Day, which you think. 0:11:39.360 --> 0:11:42.920 Well, even then, three episodes in, I had a friend over, 0:11:43.000 --> 0:11:45.000 so it was easy to watch because there's two people. 0:11:45.000 --> 0:11:46.800 As soon as they left, I was like, oh, well, 0:11:47.320 --> 0:11:48.080 you know what this means. 0:11:48.280 --> 0:11:50.439 That's the real fallacy of TV. You need be with people. 0:11:50.600 --> 0:11:52.040 That's why I don't have a TV in my house. 0:11:52.200 --> 0:11:52.880 Yeah. 0:11:53.040 --> 0:11:56.959 Yeah, Once i'd realized that subtitles take away your attention, 0:11:58.600 --> 0:12:00.320 I'm just not gonna I'm just not gonna watch with 0:12:00.360 --> 0:12:01.360 subtitles on see. 0:12:01.400 --> 0:12:03.640 But that's the thing, because I feel like, knowing that 0:12:03.720 --> 0:12:06.959 I'm never gonna give the TV my full attention, I'm 0:12:07.000 --> 0:12:09.000 going to aid myself in doing that to the best 0:12:09.000 --> 0:12:11.280 of my ability, as opposed to punishing myself further, I 0:12:11.400 --> 0:12:13.520 being like I can't see, I can't hear, and I 0:12:13.559 --> 0:12:17.280 can't read the biggest struggle. But this is also why 0:12:17.280 --> 0:12:21.600 I love going to the cinema, Oh cinema, because you 0:12:21.800 --> 0:12:25.040 do have to pay attention, and it's a full century experience. 0:12:25.080 --> 0:12:27.480 I couldn't not pay attention if I wanted to. It's 0:12:27.559 --> 0:12:28.920 quite incredible, you know. 0:12:29.040 --> 0:12:33.200 With Flex and frooms on Cata love line with Flex 0:12:33.240 --> 0:12:35.360 and Frooms on Cada. 0:12:35.760 --> 0:12:38.280 We've got a listener question which we love to get 0:12:38.520 --> 0:12:41.440 via DM is preferred at Flex and frooms on Instagram. 0:12:41.559 --> 0:12:43.400 It's all about how to say casual on the apps 0:12:43.440 --> 0:12:45.920 but not be a booty call, or maybe what's the 0:12:45.960 --> 0:12:48.520 fine line between being a booty call and being casual. 0:12:48.679 --> 0:12:51.720 Is there a difference. Look, I don't know. I'm just 0:12:51.840 --> 0:12:55.360 not a casual person. I just don't know how to 0:12:55.400 --> 0:13:01.160 do nonchalant unless I'm actively trying to avoidant, which I'm 0:13:01.200 --> 0:13:03.199 trying not to be. But I just don't feel like 0:13:04.320 --> 0:13:07.079 it's one thing that you decide. It takes two. Right, 0:13:07.200 --> 0:13:08.600 Like someone in Domans you'll do. 0:13:08.600 --> 0:13:11.320 A pretty call, but you went to casual, I would say, yeah, 0:13:11.400 --> 0:13:14.320 like nothing about you as casual. And I think casual 0:13:14.800 --> 0:13:17.280 is often the result of being like, I want something more, 0:13:17.320 --> 0:13:20.600 but this person doesn't, so we're gonna be casual. Yeah. 0:13:20.800 --> 0:13:24.600 I just feel like casual to me is synonymous with 0:13:24.679 --> 0:13:30.000 not fun, unmet expectations, and waiting in the wings, constantly 0:13:30.120 --> 0:13:32.320 waiting in the wings, waiting in the wings. And I 0:13:32.320 --> 0:13:35.920 think people get stuck into casual dynamic to distance themselves 0:13:35.960 --> 0:13:38.320 from the inevitable end where I'm like, the end is 0:13:38.360 --> 0:13:41.559 always coming, even when you think it's not. When you're 0:13:41.559 --> 0:13:43.520 hanging out with a friend, like you know you have 0:13:43.600 --> 0:13:46.559 to leave and go to sleep eventually, when you are 0:13:46.640 --> 0:13:48.640 loving your job currently but you kind of know that 0:13:48.679 --> 0:13:50.440 you want to be in a different position in three 0:13:50.480 --> 0:13:53.839 years time. The end is always coming. What I don't 0:13:53.920 --> 0:13:56.560 like is getting stuck in the ambiguity and being like 0:13:57.320 --> 0:13:59.800 is it not should it? Should it not be? Because 0:13:59.800 --> 0:14:02.320 that it's just not fun. And what I've been working 0:14:02.360 --> 0:14:04.720 on recently is like, actually think to myself, when am 0:14:04.720 --> 0:14:07.800 I having fun? And when am I perpetuating my own suffering? 0:14:08.160 --> 0:14:12.520 So in this I don't think there is a way 0:14:12.600 --> 0:14:15.520 to stay casual and not be a booty call. I 0:14:15.600 --> 0:14:19.880 really think it's difficult to maintain. I think it's difficult 0:14:19.920 --> 0:14:24.040 to have any kind of framework and be casual. Do 0:14:24.040 --> 0:14:26.000 you know how Like when you are casually employed in 0:14:26.000 --> 0:14:28.160 your bosses like if you don't take these three shifts, 0:14:28.480 --> 0:14:30.480 then we're gonna take you off the roster. And you're like, babes, 0:14:30.480 --> 0:14:33.560 I'm a casual like this, let me live. I go 0:14:33.680 --> 0:14:37.200 in and out based on whims. And I also can't 0:14:37.240 --> 0:14:39.880 preempt what something is or is not, whereas if something 0:14:39.960 --> 0:14:43.000 is less casual or moving to define, because you can 0:14:43.080 --> 0:14:46.040 define something and decide within those premeters like let's be 0:14:46.080 --> 0:14:49.200 more casual, let's not talk very often, whatever, whatever, whatever, 0:14:50.320 --> 0:14:53.920 But then the very nature of something being casual is 0:14:53.920 --> 0:14:58.040 that you are fluid and free flowing. So if you 0:14:58.080 --> 0:15:01.040 don't want to be a booty call. Then I don't 0:15:01.040 --> 0:15:04.000 think you want an entirely casual dynamic. And I don't 0:15:04.040 --> 0:15:07.240 think a dynamic isn't casual, it is automatically like long 0:15:07.320 --> 0:15:08.000 term committed. 0:15:08.240 --> 0:15:08.600 True. 0:15:08.680 --> 0:15:10.600 But I think if you want a framework and you 0:15:10.640 --> 0:15:14.160 have expectations and it can't really be casual, I think 0:15:14.200 --> 0:15:17.360 I get it. For example, right, let's say you have 0:15:18.200 --> 0:15:20.640 you've just met someone at a party. It's a friend 0:15:20.640 --> 0:15:23.280 of a friend of yours, a close friend of one 0:15:23.280 --> 0:15:25.520 of your friends. They've been like, oh, we should really 0:15:25.560 --> 0:15:29.040 hang out or whatever. Cool, let's do that. Two weeks later, 0:15:29.120 --> 0:15:31.400 you get a text message and they're annoyed at you 0:15:31.440 --> 0:15:33.520 because they're like, hey, I kind of like thought you 0:15:33.520 --> 0:15:35.480 would have reached out by now, Like the kind of 0:15:35.480 --> 0:15:38.720 friends who I'm looking for. People are more like considerate 0:15:38.760 --> 0:15:42.240 and like honor. You'd be like, whoa Like we don't 0:15:42.240 --> 0:15:44.360 even know, we don't know anything about each other, why 0:15:44.360 --> 0:15:47.480 are you asking me for anything? But I think that 0:15:47.640 --> 0:15:51.920 is the plight with casual modern dating, is that everybody 0:15:51.960 --> 0:15:55.600 wants something, well what is it that they want exactly? 0:15:58.000 --> 0:16:00.440 The other day I found myself at a gig. It 0:16:00.480 --> 0:16:04.280 was the floodlights. They are a Melbourne band, Melbourne based band. 0:16:05.240 --> 0:16:08.840 I would say the genre is like pub rock Australiana 0:16:08.960 --> 0:16:13.480 crowded house vibes, but from the modern day Australian yep. 0:16:13.880 --> 0:16:19.240 Now that it's giving songs about the beautiful landscape as 0:16:19.240 --> 0:16:23.640 well as the Australian condition. It's fantastic stuff, really fantastic stuff. 0:16:23.720 --> 0:16:24.520 You're really good at this. 0:16:26.160 --> 0:16:27.600 And when I was sitting in the crowd, I just 0:16:27.640 --> 0:16:30.080 had this thought which is totally unrelated to the band, 0:16:30.800 --> 0:16:34.760 where I thought, oh my god, I'm so disturbed by 0:16:34.800 --> 0:16:40.200 the movie Titanic. The Titanic happened in like nineteen oh five, right, 0:16:41.080 --> 0:16:43.920 tell me why in the nineteen ninety five through to 0:16:43.960 --> 0:16:47.640 two thousand, the Titanic is everywhere. Like in my childhood, 0:16:48.400 --> 0:16:51.520 the risk of the Titanic was so great and it 0:16:51.600 --> 0:16:55.520 was such an enormous tragedy that really shocked me to 0:16:55.560 --> 0:16:57.360 my court and to this day it's a cool memory. 0:16:57.440 --> 0:16:59.720 The cinema really. 0:17:00.000 --> 0:17:02.080 My parents house as his pamphlet for the Titanic for 0:17:02.120 --> 0:17:04.960 some weird ass reason, like it's like National Geographic, one 0:17:05.000 --> 0:17:07.320 of those little tiny books that are about different things 0:17:07.320 --> 0:17:09.359 in history. And I was seeing in my bed a 0:17:09.359 --> 0:17:12.159 while ago, just reading through every single bit of it. 0:17:12.280 --> 0:17:12.800 Slow day. 0:17:14.480 --> 0:17:15.560 Every day is a slow day. 0:17:16.280 --> 0:17:19.080 I think the fact that it was like multi levels 0:17:19.080 --> 0:17:24.040 of cultural socio, like all these levels were affected, and 0:17:24.080 --> 0:17:26.879 also just the lavishness of it and seeing something go 0:17:26.960 --> 0:17:28.840 down the first time that it goes out there, when 0:17:28.840 --> 0:17:30.600 it's like beIN. 0:17:30.720 --> 0:17:32.640 Oh the first time it was its first. 0:17:32.440 --> 0:17:33.560 It was just made and voyage. 0:17:33.600 --> 0:17:34.320 Why did she say so? 0:17:34.640 --> 0:17:36.919 It was just made and voyaged and it was the 0:17:36.960 --> 0:17:40.639 biggest cruise ship ever created. And the whole thing was 0:17:40.640 --> 0:17:43.919 that it was unsinkable. Oh yeah, yeah, So it's a 0:17:43.920 --> 0:17:44.879 fantastical story. 0:17:45.000 --> 0:17:47.000 I love history because this is really tea. 0:17:47.600 --> 0:17:47.840 Yeah. 0:17:48.320 --> 0:17:50.800 I'm thinking, now, what is our Titanic? 0:17:50.920 --> 0:17:51.080 Right? 0:17:51.200 --> 0:17:53.560 Our was in Like, what is something that's so prolific 0:17:53.560 --> 0:17:58.080 in media that it's going to outlast generations and new cycles, 0:17:58.119 --> 0:18:00.720 et cetera, et cetera. But then I'm thinking, if it's, 0:18:00.760 --> 0:18:04.600 as you say, the first unsinkable and for the time, 0:18:06.080 --> 0:18:08.440 rare things don't happen like that, and even when rare 0:18:08.440 --> 0:18:11.920 things happen now like chat GPT is rare and we're 0:18:11.960 --> 0:18:17.600 not taking it seriously even fathom how big chat GPT 0:18:17.920 --> 0:18:24.359 is because we've been living with iPhones, doesn't I say. 0:18:23.480 --> 0:18:25.840 I was going to say, I think the most prolific 0:18:25.880 --> 0:18:28.119 event would be nine to eleven. Yeah, babe, we're all thinking, 0:18:29.480 --> 0:18:32.480 I just want to say it. Every person listening to 0:18:32.480 --> 0:18:34.360 this show thinking nine to eleven. They're all sitting they're 0:18:34.359 --> 0:18:35.360 going care for me for sure. 0:18:35.400 --> 0:18:37.160 Titanic and then nine eleven. 0:18:37.080 --> 0:18:39.159 And I would say, yeah, thousand million, I ate that 0:18:40.000 --> 0:18:42.800 you did eat that hand. Well done, I think as well. 0:18:42.920 --> 0:18:44.560 Nine to eleven is the same. The only difference is 0:18:44.600 --> 0:18:49.480 there was more media of it occurring, but still compared 0:18:49.480 --> 0:18:52.920 to what we have now, there's like ten videos of 0:18:53.400 --> 0:18:56.800 nine to eleven going down and some voicemails. There's no texts. 0:18:56.920 --> 0:19:00.160 Yeah, but also given the way that people were accessing 0:19:00.440 --> 0:19:05.080 news one hundred and something years ago, so the way 0:19:05.080 --> 0:19:08.600 people access news one hundred and something years ago, for 0:19:08.680 --> 0:19:11.760 the Titanic to stand the test of time now, we 0:19:11.800 --> 0:19:15.040 would need something that is so post news because like 0:19:15.080 --> 0:19:19.359 we're saturated with it, so like if something terrifying happens 0:19:19.400 --> 0:19:22.600 in the media, it's just another news story. In order 0:19:22.640 --> 0:19:28.960 to have something that is just as fantastical in the 0:19:28.960 --> 0:19:32.119 media landscape as the Titanic, we would need something that 0:19:32.200 --> 0:19:36.840