Speaker 1: Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. This is the Flex
Speaker 1: and Frooms catch up podcast.
Speaker 2: It's Flex and Frooms and Today on the Potty. I
Speaker 2: hope you really loved it. Last week we started like
Speaker 2: telling you what's in episodes. I actually listened back to
Speaker 2: the episode, as you know, Flex, I listened to our
Speaker 2: episodes to relax. Oh that is that was really funny
Speaker 2: that one.
Speaker 1: And get the gags hit every time, like I laugh
Speaker 1: at the same time every time.
Speaker 2: What you say makes more sense when you listen to
Speaker 2: it back.
Speaker 1: I'm serious, Thank you.
Speaker 2: It needs a bit of processing, but yeah, thank you.
Speaker 2: How am I not picking that up? That makes pervict chance?
Speaker 2: But you know it's different in the when you're in
Speaker 2: the room.
Speaker 1: When you're when you're in the Devil's l Ma lair.
Speaker 2: This one is about what to do when you want
Speaker 2: someone to live your house. Doesn't have to be romantic.
Speaker 2: If we're your friends, have for dinner. But this is
Speaker 2: a very specific situation. No incrimination disclaim.
Speaker 1: I don't think we even answered the question. To be fair,
Speaker 1: we definitely didn't, but we will one day. I will
Speaker 1: make sure of it. Mummy. Can I listen to Flex
Speaker 1: and Frooms? Flex and froms Okada. I like to consider
Speaker 1: myself a bit of a anthropologist. You know, if I
Speaker 1: am engaging in conversation or socializing, I am mining data.
Speaker 2: I'm terrifying.
Speaker 1: You know, I'm drawing conclusions, and sometimes I really do snap.
Speaker 1: Sometimes what I'm coming up with is like so fresh,
Speaker 1: never foreseen or heard, and other times I'm thinking, why
Speaker 1: haven't I drawn this conclusion sooner? In my office, we
Speaker 1: haven't officed toddler. She comes in every now and then.
Speaker 1: She does belong to one of the stuff, but she's
Speaker 1: really amazing, and through getting to know her, I'm seeing
Speaker 1: how just like how evolved children can be. And so
Speaker 1: obviously now that she's warmed up to me and she
Speaker 1: knows me really well, she can like pick me out
Speaker 1: in a picture. She knows what I eat, she knows
Speaker 1: where I'm going. She's very smart. But what's been happening
Speaker 1: now is that if I don't see her for five days,
Speaker 1: she's mean, and she's she's closed off and she's agitated,
Speaker 1: and she is like torn between wanting to speak to
Speaker 1: me but also remembering that I left her for five
Speaker 1: days and not really understanding why. And then you know,
Speaker 1: like we find it really committed be like, oh, say
Speaker 1: goodbye now, and she's freaking out because she's like, well,
Speaker 1: when are you coming back? And why are you going
Speaker 1: and all of these things. And it reminds me of
Speaker 1: this really terrible habit that I had and had to
Speaker 1: break as an adult, of being mean when I missed people,
Speaker 1: or you know, like wanting to be close to someone
Speaker 1: but then pushing them away because I was like preempting
Speaker 1: them going away again. And it's just so counterintuitive, but
Speaker 1: I'm like, this is happening in childhood. This is like
Speaker 1: a childhood based thing, because I'm not even sure that
Speaker 1: she's like fully comprehending this idea, because do kids really
Speaker 1: have like perception like that she's old enough to understand that.
Speaker 1: Like somedays she spends the whole day with me. She's
Speaker 1: sitting on my lap or doing emails, watching Little Tiktoks. Okay,
Speaker 1: she's pointing out pictures saying pretty, and I'm like, oh,
Speaker 1: isn't that pretty? And then other days she's like closed
Speaker 1: off and I have to be like, hey, I'm sorry,
Speaker 1: were you upset when I left? You're like yeah, which
Speaker 1: makes me think of two things. Number One, I don't
Speaker 1: know if you've ever read in nonfiction, they say, if
Speaker 1: you want to have successful relationships with adults, you need
Speaker 1: to think of them as children. So you need to
Speaker 1: stop assuming that every adult is behaving in a really healthy,
Speaker 1: evolved way, because we're just little babies in adult bodies.
Speaker 1: And I used to think that was just like infantilizing
Speaker 1: everyone and giving everyone the benefit of the doubt. But
Speaker 1: then watching the way that I let her, or not
Speaker 1: even let her, but the way that I respected her
Speaker 1: frustration with not understanding why I couldn't be around is
Speaker 1: not the kind of lenience I would give with an adult.
Speaker 1: I don't think, like if you threw me, were suddenly
Speaker 1: off me because you hadn't seen me for a week,
Speaker 1: I'd be like, grow up, it happens, you know. I'd
Speaker 1: be like, like, why are you making it a big deal?
Speaker 1: Sooner than I would have empathy and say, well maybe that,
Speaker 1: like was it hit her like that? Yeah? Like why
Speaker 1: can't I be mindful or empathetic or generous enough with
Speaker 1: my emotions to validate yours even if I don't feel
Speaker 1: the same way.
Speaker 2: It's like when you have a dream where someone's being
Speaker 2: really mean. Yeah, made a couple of days.
Speaker 1: To aha exactly because you gotta let it roll off,
Speaker 1: and sometimes it takes a little bit longer. And when
Speaker 1: you rush the process or you feel rushed, that's when
Speaker 1: that mean spirit comes out, like I'm already because when
Speaker 1: I needed you, you went around, So now I'm not
Speaker 1: ready to be friends right now. So I say this
Speaker 1: all to say people, we humans, adults would benefit from
Speaker 1: interacting with children, definitely, because somehow you just start to
Speaker 1: see like not a lot has changed between me interacting
Speaker 1: with a three year old and a thirty year old
Speaker 1: in the best way. Humor is so similar and why
Speaker 1: we like it the same jokes, not just humor generally.
Speaker 1: How does she know what's pretty? But do you know
Speaker 1: what pretty is?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: How does she know when we're at work? Or how
Speaker 1: does she know? Like just the way that she's able
Speaker 1: to connect theories, Like I facetimed my best friend when
Speaker 1: she was on a train, and I think she thinks
Speaker 1: my best friend lives on a train.
Speaker 2: Before she knows because we don't know where she is at.
Speaker 2: It's like object permanent, so they don't think that you
Speaker 2: exist until you're there. That's why it's got whiplash.
Speaker 1: I was in a.
Speaker 2: Situation earlier this week, where I had a friend over.
Speaker 2: They slept over.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay.
Speaker 2: In the morning, I woke up feeling quite ill. Okay,
Speaker 2: some drinks had been consumed. It was a really really
Speaker 2: large night. It was a late night, and I'm waking
Speaker 2: up and feeling like I want my own personal space. Okay,
Speaker 2: it's nothing on this person. It's just when it's a Sunday.
Speaker 2: I needed them to leave my house so I could
Speaker 2: order big macmeal at nine am and rot in my
Speaker 2: bed in yearsah watching the notebook.
Speaker 1: And now of a sudden, you're hosting.
Speaker 2: I said, I have not signed up for a twenty
Speaker 2: four hour hope. It's like, this is not Airbnb. My
Speaker 2: alarm goes off at eight am. I forgot to turn
Speaker 2: it off, so obviously I'm awoken by the sounds of
Speaker 2: an extreme alarm, and shit gets real very very quickly.
Speaker 2: I stir thinking, oh, and my friend is still there.
Speaker 2: Another hour passes of me stirring, being like, I don't
Speaker 2: know how to get up. I don't know what to
Speaker 2: do because I'm really tired. I have to get up
Speaker 2: because I want my own personal space, but I'm just
Speaker 2: too tired to move. Gets about nine o'clock and I'm thinking, Okay,
Speaker 2: we've got to make some moves. Boys, we gotta make
Speaker 2: some mooves. I text one of my best friends, Okay.
Speaker 2: They were also meant to be staying at my house
Speaker 2: because they were inter state. We've been partying together, so
Speaker 2: I was expecting him to come to my house. But
Speaker 2: he wasn't there. I text him and say, hey, can
Speaker 2: you please call me and say that I'm late for
Speaker 2: a breakfast because I have no spine. I don't know
Speaker 2: how to ask this king that I please need some
Speaker 2: personal space.
Speaker 1: Now. My friend doesn't reply.
Speaker 2: It's been twenty minutes, so I'm like, okay, I need
Speaker 2: to grab a shower.
Speaker 1: I have a shower.
Speaker 2: By the time I'm back from the shower, my friend
Speaker 2: is dressed and he's gonna yeat out the door perfect
Speaker 2: like fantastic, thank you so much, lays back into bed.
Speaker 2: I start falling asleep. Okay, I'm back in my comfort zone.
Speaker 2: Two hours later, my friend who had messaged called me
Speaker 2: and said, hey, Listinda, we've got breakfast. And I said
Speaker 2: what He's like, We've got breakfast like at the a
Speaker 2: Si Bowl place. It's our friend's birthday. Can't even remember
Speaker 2: we're organizing her present today.
Speaker 1: And I was like, wait, what, no, what do you mean.
Speaker 2: He's like, Lucinda, I told you it's a sire place.
Speaker 2: Bear balls around the corner. I'm like, I'm like, send
Speaker 2: me the group chat.
Speaker 1: Oh my god.
Speaker 2: Like he's like there was a group chat and I'm like,
Speaker 2: I don't remember the group chat. Like I'm looking through
Speaker 2: my phone.
Speaker 1: Was it on Messenger? I was on Instagram? Was it
Speaker 1: on text message? Like?
Speaker 2: I was looking like what are you talking about? And
Speaker 2: he's like, listenda, okay, I'm coming over to get you
Speaker 2: to go and get you out of bed. I was like, mate, you.
Speaker 1: Look I am fragile. I was. I am broken you're not.
Speaker 1: I was pissed off.
Speaker 2: I was like, do you have wrong anyway. Finally he
Speaker 2: calls me again and I almost don't answer. He says
Speaker 2: I'm outside, let me in, and I said, okay, rings
Speaker 2: the doorbell. I walk up, let him up, open my door,
Speaker 2: run back to my bed, being like I can't deal
Speaker 2: with this, like hopefully when he comes tack and he
Speaker 2: sees I'm asleep, he creeps into my room and says,
Speaker 2: is he still here? And I said no, what do
Speaker 2: you mean? And he hops into bed with me, and
Speaker 2: I said to my friend like, really, I just like
Speaker 2: really can't go to breakfast, Like.
Speaker 1: I'm still so sick talking about it's like, what do
Speaker 1: you mean I was? I was saving in character message.
Speaker 2: We laughed when I say, we giggled and cackled for
Speaker 2: five whole minutes, like I was fully I fully believe
Speaker 2: that we had a breakfast like.
Speaker 1: And your is tired, which friends, And I.
Speaker 2: Was like genuinely upset about it that I almost called
Speaker 2: the friend who were meant to be meeting for breakfast
Speaker 2: and saying, hey, I'm so sorry, like I spent two
Speaker 2: hours of sleep that shouldn't have been should have been
Speaker 2: beautiful over morning. So all I gotta say, guys, is
Speaker 2: this is a message to grow a spine. When you
Speaker 2: want personal space, you gotta ask for it. Don't ask
Speaker 2: for anyone else to come to your rescue. No less
Speaker 2: on a Sunday of a long weekend. Okay, because no
Speaker 2: one's answering their phones.
Speaker 1: But we have to discuss generally, how do you get
Speaker 1: people to leave your house. There's levels to it, depending
Speaker 1: on how close and comfortable, how brutal you feel like
Speaker 1: you want to be. As someone who toes the line
Speaker 1: between lone Wolf and like social Butterfly babes. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: gotta know when to go mix signals constantly, like it
Speaker 1: swings before I even know. Damn, you're listening to Flex
Speaker 1: and Rooms on kit.
Speaker 2: Do you think we're snobs if we don't like subtitles?
Speaker 2: There was an article from The Atlantic nice. The title
Speaker 2: was why is everyone watching TV? With the subtitles on?
Speaker 2: And this person went to a movie at their friend's
Speaker 2: backyard and it was Clueless? Right, they're watching Clueless. Everybody
Speaker 2: seeing the movie Clueless. We don't need the subtitles on. However,
Speaker 2: this person there's oh you left the subtitles on, to
Speaker 2: which the other person replies, oh, we always leave the
Speaker 2: subtitles on. And this person is wondering, am I a
Speaker 2: snob because of the aesthetic horror that I think that
Speaker 2: subtitles are with the gashing across the screen? Oh my gosh,
Speaker 2: this person, I hope they got paid well for this article.
Speaker 2: I mean they're bossy into it, but that is such
Speaker 2: a massive, massive, like what kind of person are you?
Speaker 2: Subtitles on or off that we don't speak about until
Speaker 2: it's too late. I'm serious, because let me tell you
Speaker 2: tell me your subconscious brain part of you thinks you're
Speaker 2: taking the whole movie in when you've got subtitles on.
Speaker 1: Absolutely you're not. You're reading the words.
Speaker 2: You're essentially reading a book you can't read subtle and
Speaker 2: look at the faces. Okay, stand with me with this
Speaker 2: with Kayla.
Speaker 1: As someone I like subtitles on, I think the screen
Speaker 1: looks empty without them. However, as someone who only ever
Speaker 1: half watches anything, it's so I can continue to half
Speaker 1: watch better, I'm already missing most of the movie and
Speaker 1: the TV show. Anytime someone recommends a TV show to
Speaker 1: me or a friend, they'll be like, you have to
Speaker 1: pay attention to this one. I say, it's out. I'm
Speaker 1: not watching su Session, I'm not doing it. I'm not
Speaker 1: watching Game of Thrones, I'm not doing it. I'm not
Speaker 1: watching Breaking Bad, not watching any show I have to
Speaker 1: pay attention to because I'm not gonna you see my.
Speaker 2: Issue watch lay Bag Their Day, which you think.
Speaker 1: Well, even then, three episodes in, I had a friend over,
Speaker 1: so it was easy to watch because there's two people.
Speaker 1: As soon as they left, I was like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: you know what this means.
Speaker 2: That's the real fallacy of TV. You need be with people.
Speaker 2: That's why I don't have a TV in my house.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, Once i'd realized that subtitles take away your attention,
Speaker 2: I'm just not gonna I'm just not gonna watch with
Speaker 2: subtitles on see.
Speaker 1: But that's the thing, because I feel like, knowing that
Speaker 1: I'm never gonna give the TV my full attention, I'm
Speaker 1: going to aid myself in doing that to the best
Speaker 1: of my ability, as opposed to punishing myself further, I
Speaker 1: being like I can't see, I can't hear, and I
Speaker 1: can't read the biggest struggle. But this is also why
Speaker 1: I love going to the cinema, Oh cinema, because you
Speaker 1: do have to pay attention, and it's a full century experience.
Speaker 1: I couldn't not pay attention if I wanted to. It's
Speaker 1: quite incredible, you know.
Speaker 2: With Flex and frooms on Cata love line with Flex
Speaker 2: and Frooms on Cada.
Speaker 1: We've got a listener question which we love to get
Speaker 1: via DM is preferred at Flex and frooms on Instagram.
Speaker 1: It's all about how to say casual on the apps
Speaker 1: but not be a booty call, or maybe what's the
Speaker 1: fine line between being a booty call and being casual.
Speaker 1: Is there a difference. Look, I don't know. I'm just
Speaker 1: not a casual person. I just don't know how to
Speaker 1: do nonchalant unless I'm actively trying to avoidant, which I'm
Speaker 1: trying not to be. But I just don't feel like
Speaker 1: it's one thing that you decide. It takes two. Right,
Speaker 1: Like someone in Domans you'll do.
Speaker 2: A pretty call, but you went to casual, I would say, yeah,
Speaker 2: like nothing about you as casual. And I think casual
Speaker 2: is often the result of being like, I want something more,
Speaker 2: but this person doesn't, so we're gonna be casual. Yeah.
Speaker 1: I just feel like casual to me is synonymous with
Speaker 1: not fun, unmet expectations, and waiting in the wings, constantly
Speaker 1: waiting in the wings, waiting in the wings. And I
Speaker 1: think people get stuck into casual dynamic to distance themselves
Speaker 1: from the inevitable end where I'm like, the end is
Speaker 1: always coming, even when you think it's not. When you're
Speaker 1: hanging out with a friend, like you know you have
Speaker 1: to leave and go to sleep eventually, when you are
Speaker 1: loving your job currently but you kind of know that
Speaker 1: you want to be in a different position in three
Speaker 1: years time. The end is always coming. What I don't
Speaker 1: like is getting stuck in the ambiguity and being like
Speaker 1: is it not should it? Should it not be? Because
Speaker 1: that it's just not fun. And what I've been working
Speaker 1: on recently is like, actually think to myself, when am
Speaker 1: I having fun? And when am I perpetuating my own suffering?
Speaker 1: So in this I don't think there is a way
Speaker 1: to stay casual and not be a booty call. I
Speaker 1: really think it's difficult to maintain. I think it's difficult
Speaker 1: to have any kind of framework and be casual. Do
Speaker 1: you know how Like when you are casually employed in
Speaker 1: your bosses like if you don't take these three shifts,
Speaker 1: then we're gonna take you off the roster. And you're like, babes,
Speaker 1: I'm a casual like this, let me live. I go
Speaker 1: in and out based on whims. And I also can't
Speaker 1: preempt what something is or is not, whereas if something
Speaker 1: is less casual or moving to define, because you can
Speaker 1: define something and decide within those premeters like let's be
Speaker 1: more casual, let's not talk very often, whatever, whatever, whatever,
Speaker 1: But then the very nature of something being casual is
Speaker 1: that you are fluid and free flowing. So if you
Speaker 1: don't want to be a booty call. Then I don't
Speaker 1: think you want an entirely casual dynamic. And I don't
Speaker 1: think a dynamic isn't casual, it is automatically like long
Speaker 1: term committed.
Speaker 2: True.
Speaker 1: But I think if you want a framework and you
Speaker 1: have expectations and it can't really be casual, I think
Speaker 1: I get it. For example, right, let's say you have
Speaker 1: you've just met someone at a party. It's a friend
Speaker 1: of a friend of yours, a close friend of one
Speaker 1: of your friends. They've been like, oh, we should really
Speaker 1: hang out or whatever. Cool, let's do that. Two weeks later,
Speaker 1: you get a text message and they're annoyed at you
Speaker 1: because they're like, hey, I kind of like thought you
Speaker 1: would have reached out by now, Like the kind of
Speaker 1: friends who I'm looking for. People are more like considerate
Speaker 1: and like honor. You'd be like, whoa Like we don't
Speaker 1: even know, we don't know anything about each other, why
Speaker 1: are you asking me for anything? But I think that
Speaker 1: is the plight with casual modern dating, is that everybody
Speaker 1: wants something, well what is it that they want exactly?
Speaker 2: The other day I found myself at a gig. It
Speaker 2: was the floodlights. They are a Melbourne band, Melbourne based band.
Speaker 2: I would say the genre is like pub rock Australiana
Speaker 2: crowded house vibes, but from the modern day Australian yep.
Speaker 2: Now that it's giving songs about the beautiful landscape as
Speaker 2: well as the Australian condition. It's fantastic stuff, really fantastic stuff.
Speaker 1: You're really good at this.
Speaker 2: And when I was sitting in the crowd, I just
Speaker 2: had this thought which is totally unrelated to the band,
Speaker 2: where I thought, oh my god, I'm so disturbed by
Speaker 2: the movie Titanic. The Titanic happened in like nineteen oh five, right,
Speaker 2: tell me why in the nineteen ninety five through to
Speaker 2: two thousand, the Titanic is everywhere. Like in my childhood,
Speaker 2: the risk of the Titanic was so great and it
Speaker 2: was such an enormous tragedy that really shocked me to
Speaker 2: my court and to this day it's a cool memory.
Speaker 1: The cinema really.
Speaker 2: My parents house as his pamphlet for the Titanic for
Speaker 2: some weird ass reason, like it's like National Geographic, one
Speaker 2: of those little tiny books that are about different things
Speaker 2: in history. And I was seeing in my bed a
Speaker 2: while ago, just reading through every single bit of it.
Speaker 2: Slow day.
Speaker 1: Every day is a slow day.
Speaker 2: I think the fact that it was like multi levels
Speaker 2: of cultural socio, like all these levels were affected, and
Speaker 2: also just the lavishness of it and seeing something go
Speaker 2: down the first time that it goes out there, when
Speaker 2: it's like beIN.
Speaker 1: Oh the first time it was its first.
Speaker 2: It was just made and voyage.
Speaker 1: Why did she say so?
Speaker 2: It was just made and voyaged and it was the
Speaker 2: biggest cruise ship ever created. And the whole thing was
Speaker 2: that it was unsinkable. Oh yeah, yeah, So it's a
Speaker 2: fantastical story.
Speaker 1: I love history because this is really tea.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I'm thinking, now, what is our Titanic?
Speaker 2: Right?
Speaker 1: Our was in Like, what is something that's so prolific
Speaker 1: in media that it's going to outlast generations and new cycles,
Speaker 1: et cetera, et cetera. But then I'm thinking, if it's,
Speaker 1: as you say, the first unsinkable and for the time,
Speaker 1: rare things don't happen like that, and even when rare
Speaker 1: things happen now like chat GPT is rare and we're
Speaker 1: not taking it seriously even fathom how big chat GPT
Speaker 1: is because we've been living with iPhones, doesn't I say.
Speaker 2: I was going to say, I think the most prolific
Speaker 2: event would be nine to eleven. Yeah, babe, we're all thinking,
Speaker 2: I just want to say it. Every person listening to
Speaker 2: this show thinking nine to eleven. They're all sitting they're
Speaker 2: going care for me for sure.
Speaker 1: Titanic and then nine eleven.
Speaker 2: And I would say, yeah, thousand million, I ate that
Speaker 2: you did eat that hand. Well done, I think as well.
Speaker 2: Nine to eleven is the same. The only difference is
Speaker 2: there was more media of it occurring, but still compared
Speaker 2: to what we have now, there's like ten videos of
Speaker 2: nine to eleven going down and some voicemails. There's no texts.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but also given the way that people were accessing
Speaker 1: news one hundred and something years ago, so the way
Speaker 1: people access news one hundred and something years ago, for
Speaker 1: the Titanic to stand the test of time now, we
Speaker 1: would need something that is so post news because like
Speaker 1: we're saturated with it, so like if something terrifying happens
Speaker 1: in the media, it's just another news story. In order
Speaker 1: to have something that is just as fantastical in the
Speaker 1: media landscape as the Titanic, we would need something that
Speaker 1: was secretive, bubbling in the undercurrent. Everybody knows, but you
Speaker 1: can't really say it publicly, and then in a hundred
Speaker 1: years everyone's like, WHOA, that was huge. The biggest news
Speaker 1: stories in the world die twenty four hours later. What
Speaker 1: is going to keep someone's attention for one hundred years
Speaker 1: needs to be the lack of information, true, like a
Speaker 1: Madeline McCann type thing, but like more widespread climate change.
Speaker 2: Oh tell me, why am I not seeing extinction? Rebellion
Speaker 2: throwing tomato soup at a painting that.
Speaker 1: Really capture my megoration?
Speaker 2: Now, I'll say Mikayla nine to eleven for me.
Speaker 1: You've been listening to the Flexen Firm's daily podcast. For more,
Speaker 1: tune in de Catur on DAB or stream it on iHeartRadio.