1 00:00:00,200 --> 00:00:02,000 Speaker 1: She's on the Money. 2 00:00:02,160 --> 00:00:13,320 Speaker 2: She's on the Money. 3 00:00:23,360 --> 00:00:26,320 Speaker 3: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast 4 00:00:26,360 --> 00:00:30,400 Speaker 3: for millennials who want financial freedom. My name is Tony Lodge, 5 00:00:30,400 --> 00:00:33,200 Speaker 3: and joining me for another shotback money Diary is miss 6 00:00:33,240 --> 00:00:34,440 Speaker 3: Victoria Define. 7 00:00:34,680 --> 00:00:36,320 Speaker 4: Hello, how are you? 8 00:00:36,720 --> 00:00:37,840 Speaker 1: I am so good? 9 00:00:38,000 --> 00:00:39,080 Speaker 4: I'm so ready for this. 10 00:00:39,159 --> 00:00:41,760 Speaker 5: You've gotten me out of bed early because we've got 11 00:00:41,840 --> 00:00:45,640 Speaker 5: someone from Thailand joining us for our money diary. 12 00:00:46,120 --> 00:00:47,040 Speaker 4: But that's all I know. 13 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:49,800 Speaker 5: So do you want to take it away and get 14 00:00:49,800 --> 00:00:52,880 Speaker 5: straight into it and read out this week's money drest female? 15 00:00:53,120 --> 00:00:54,040 Speaker 1: All right, here we go. 16 00:00:54,760 --> 00:00:56,920 Speaker 3: I was married at twenty five to a guy eight 17 00:00:57,000 --> 00:00:59,560 Speaker 3: years older than me. We had a house by the beach, 18 00:00:59,720 --> 00:01:02,440 Speaker 3: owned two nice cars, a boat, and a business, and 19 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:06,480 Speaker 3: seemingly happy. I've gone from separating from him and walking 20 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:09,640 Speaker 3: away with less than ten thousand dollars New Zealand to 21 00:01:09,720 --> 00:01:12,280 Speaker 3: moving to Thailand and living my best life. It's been 22 00:01:12,280 --> 00:01:14,880 Speaker 3: a rollercoaster of a few years. But I couldn't be happier, 23 00:01:14,959 --> 00:01:17,280 Speaker 3: and I don't have the assets to prove that I 24 00:01:17,319 --> 00:01:18,440 Speaker 3: am successful. 25 00:01:18,920 --> 00:01:20,759 Speaker 5: Oh my gosh, what. 26 00:01:20,760 --> 00:01:22,960 Speaker 4: A tracy but powerful money diary. 27 00:01:23,080 --> 00:01:25,640 Speaker 3: It tree I know, and we've got her on the line. 28 00:01:25,680 --> 00:01:28,560 Speaker 3: All the way from sunny Thailand. Is it sunny in 29 00:01:28,600 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 3: Thailand at the moment. 30 00:01:30,600 --> 00:01:33,240 Speaker 1: No, it's a little bit overpass today. You could have. 31 00:01:33,280 --> 00:01:40,360 Speaker 4: Played along with us money. 32 00:01:38,240 --> 00:01:42,200 Speaker 3: Give us that living vicariously through you in dreary Melbourne 33 00:01:42,200 --> 00:01:43,360 Speaker 3: in lockdown at the moment. 34 00:01:43,680 --> 00:01:45,679 Speaker 1: You're in lockdown as well. But at least maybe you're 35 00:01:45,720 --> 00:01:49,400 Speaker 1: in the sun. I don't know. Yeah, yeah, well there is, Yeah, 36 00:01:49,480 --> 00:01:52,680 Speaker 1: there's some sun sometimes. And it's also thirty degrees, so 37 00:01:52,720 --> 00:01:53,840 Speaker 1: I really can't complain. 38 00:01:54,360 --> 00:01:56,840 Speaker 4: Oh my gosh, it's so cold here. 39 00:01:57,000 --> 00:01:59,480 Speaker 5: I'm like all rugged up and I've turned the heater 40 00:01:59,560 --> 00:02:02,400 Speaker 5: on and have a heat pack. My house is probably 41 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:05,240 Speaker 5: also thirty degrees, but not naturally. 42 00:02:05,640 --> 00:02:09,240 Speaker 1: But not because it's nice and human, because. 43 00:02:08,960 --> 00:02:10,040 Speaker 4: We have central heating. 44 00:02:10,720 --> 00:02:13,720 Speaker 5: All right, So let's get straight into the questions because 45 00:02:13,720 --> 00:02:17,440 Speaker 5: I'm so excited to hear about your story. First things first, 46 00:02:17,600 --> 00:02:20,800 Speaker 5: what is your attitude towards money? 47 00:02:20,919 --> 00:02:23,400 Speaker 1: So I feel like I have a little bit of 48 00:02:23,400 --> 00:02:27,120 Speaker 1: an up and down relationship with money. Sometimes I can 49 00:02:27,160 --> 00:02:30,280 Speaker 1: be living sort of paycheck to paycheck, and then other 50 00:02:30,320 --> 00:02:33,840 Speaker 1: times there seems to be so much surplus, and I'm like, 51 00:02:34,360 --> 00:02:38,680 Speaker 1: why is there no consistency? So yeah, I feel like 52 00:02:39,760 --> 00:02:42,360 Speaker 1: I have a bit of an all or nothing personality. 53 00:02:42,600 --> 00:02:44,840 Speaker 1: It's like, when I really put my mind to it, 54 00:02:44,880 --> 00:02:48,480 Speaker 1: I can save, save, save, and have a really good 55 00:02:48,840 --> 00:02:52,720 Speaker 1: view around money. But then other times it's spend, spend, spend. 56 00:02:53,639 --> 00:02:57,720 Speaker 1: That's very honest. Yeah, I just feel like I have 57 00:02:57,840 --> 00:03:01,160 Speaker 1: that personality with everything in my life, all or nothing. 58 00:03:01,240 --> 00:03:03,760 Speaker 1: So if I really commit myself to something, I've got 59 00:03:03,760 --> 00:03:06,560 Speaker 1: the motivation to stick to it. So yeah, that sort 60 00:03:06,560 --> 00:03:09,320 Speaker 1: of filters into my attitude around money. 61 00:03:09,360 --> 00:03:15,239 Speaker 5: But yeah, wow, I literally love hearing that. So next question, 62 00:03:16,200 --> 00:03:18,639 Speaker 5: what do you do for work and how much money 63 00:03:18,680 --> 00:03:19,320 Speaker 5: do you earn? 64 00:03:21,200 --> 00:03:23,520 Speaker 1: So, yes, I am living in Thailand, but not for 65 00:03:23,560 --> 00:03:28,359 Speaker 1: any scandalous reason. You might think. I am a teacher, 66 00:03:29,240 --> 00:03:32,160 Speaker 1: and so I have a Grade five class which are 67 00:03:32,160 --> 00:03:35,360 Speaker 1: about ten year olds, and I'm also the head of 68 00:03:35,400 --> 00:03:38,920 Speaker 1: department for literacy in the elementary So a little bit 69 00:03:38,920 --> 00:03:44,560 Speaker 1: of responsibility, which is Cool's fancy Tony try to be. 70 00:03:46,000 --> 00:03:49,160 Speaker 1: And then I earn about a give or take because 71 00:03:49,160 --> 00:03:52,320 Speaker 1: I earn in Thai bart so I'm always having to 72 00:03:52,480 --> 00:03:55,240 Speaker 1: convert to New Zealand dollars and depends on when I 73 00:03:55,440 --> 00:03:57,760 Speaker 1: send it home to New Zealand how much I'm actually 74 00:03:57,760 --> 00:04:02,440 Speaker 1: getting it's about five dollars a month, so my salary 75 00:04:02,520 --> 00:04:04,440 Speaker 1: is about sixty thousand for the year. 76 00:04:04,800 --> 00:04:07,960 Speaker 5: And is that when you convert it to I guess 77 00:04:08,080 --> 00:04:11,400 Speaker 5: Thai bart does that give you a really comfortable lifestyle 78 00:04:11,480 --> 00:04:14,000 Speaker 5: over there? Like, what's the lifestyle difference? I know that 79 00:04:14,080 --> 00:04:16,840 Speaker 5: I'm going sidetrack on this, but we're talking about money, 80 00:04:17,160 --> 00:04:20,440 Speaker 5: so it's a good question, though, what's the difference in that, 81 00:04:20,520 --> 00:04:22,840 Speaker 5: I guess living living conditions. 82 00:04:23,560 --> 00:04:26,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, so in New Zealand, I probably would have been 83 00:04:26,360 --> 00:04:30,160 Speaker 1: paid a little bit more, but living in Thailand is 84 00:04:30,200 --> 00:04:32,599 Speaker 1: a lot cheaper, so it actually feels like I'm getting 85 00:04:32,600 --> 00:04:36,840 Speaker 1: paid more. Some things like going to the supermarket and 86 00:04:36,880 --> 00:04:41,000 Speaker 1: buying Western type foods is more expensive because I'm not 87 00:04:41,040 --> 00:04:45,920 Speaker 1: buying Thai food, so but I choose to buy things 88 00:04:45,960 --> 00:04:49,719 Speaker 1: from the supermarket, and so I'm choosing to spend more. 89 00:04:50,760 --> 00:04:56,880 Speaker 1: But things like living is cheaper, and like water, I 90 00:04:56,960 --> 00:05:01,120 Speaker 1: paid like two dollars a month for water. Wow, It's 91 00:05:01,480 --> 00:05:06,600 Speaker 1: ridiculous how cheap that is. Electricity is really cheap as well, 92 00:05:06,640 --> 00:05:09,880 Speaker 1: probably like fifty dollars a month. And I've got my 93 00:05:09,960 --> 00:05:13,160 Speaker 1: earcorn on all the time, like the aircon never goes off. 94 00:05:13,240 --> 00:05:18,200 Speaker 1: So yeah, it definitely is less money than what I 95 00:05:18,200 --> 00:05:20,200 Speaker 1: would be earning in New Zealand, but living for a 96 00:05:20,200 --> 00:05:20,719 Speaker 1: lot cheaper. 97 00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:22,600 Speaker 4: Oh my gosh. 98 00:05:22,680 --> 00:05:25,279 Speaker 5: I love hearing comparisons. I'm always like, well, what does 99 00:05:25,320 --> 00:05:27,800 Speaker 5: that cost you? And how does that work? And what 100 00:05:27,960 --> 00:05:30,000 Speaker 5: are being two dollars? Oh my gosh. We got our 101 00:05:30,120 --> 00:05:32,400 Speaker 5: rates knowing this recently and I can tell you it 102 00:05:32,480 --> 00:05:33,640 Speaker 5: was not even close. 103 00:05:33,440 --> 00:05:34,520 Speaker 1: To two dollars. 104 00:05:36,760 --> 00:05:39,200 Speaker 3: So is that this might be jumping ahead a little bit. 105 00:05:39,480 --> 00:05:42,600 Speaker 3: But does that include do you put money into your 106 00:05:42,600 --> 00:05:47,000 Speaker 3: souperranu or your Kiwi saver as well or no? 107 00:05:47,360 --> 00:05:51,600 Speaker 1: I do like once a year. So I got a 108 00:05:51,800 --> 00:05:55,720 Speaker 1: friendly email a few months ago saying if you want 109 00:05:55,839 --> 00:06:00,440 Speaker 1: to have the government contribute a portion for this, you 110 00:06:00,520 --> 00:06:02,520 Speaker 1: just need to put them the minimum amount. And I 111 00:06:02,520 --> 00:06:05,040 Speaker 1: think it was about one thousand dollars, so I had 112 00:06:05,080 --> 00:06:07,080 Speaker 1: that money in my savings I thought might as well, 113 00:06:07,760 --> 00:06:10,240 Speaker 1: and then the government contributed some as well. But other 114 00:06:10,360 --> 00:06:13,360 Speaker 1: than that, I'm not putting any money in that account 115 00:06:13,400 --> 00:06:17,080 Speaker 1: at the moment and it's just ticking away building up 116 00:06:17,920 --> 00:06:19,479 Speaker 1: over time, which is quite nice. 117 00:06:19,760 --> 00:06:23,600 Speaker 4: Yeah cool, yeah, awesome? All right, next question, what is 118 00:06:23,640 --> 00:06:25,000 Speaker 4: your big money goal? 119 00:06:26,800 --> 00:06:30,640 Speaker 1: Well, I really need to build my savings back up 120 00:06:30,920 --> 00:06:36,839 Speaker 1: because they have dwindled away recently. I was fortunate enough, well, 121 00:06:36,880 --> 00:06:39,720 Speaker 1: I was fortunate enough to be able to get home 122 00:06:39,760 --> 00:06:42,400 Speaker 1: to New Zealand for a holiday for the last I 123 00:06:42,440 --> 00:06:45,760 Speaker 1: had seven weeks in New Zealand, so it was amazing 124 00:06:47,360 --> 00:06:49,640 Speaker 1: to see friends and family. But I had to pay 125 00:06:49,760 --> 00:06:53,320 Speaker 1: for quarantine on both ends, so three thousand dollars in 126 00:06:53,360 --> 00:06:58,200 Speaker 1: New Zealand two thousand in Thailand. Flights were twice the 127 00:06:58,240 --> 00:07:01,039 Speaker 1: price of what they would normally be were about five 128 00:07:01,120 --> 00:07:05,960 Speaker 1: thousand dollars altogether, so there was ten thousand dollars of 129 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:10,760 Speaker 1: my savings gone ready. Yeah, and then I also just 130 00:07:10,800 --> 00:07:14,360 Speaker 1: spent a ridiculous amount in New Zealand. New Zealand is expensive, 131 00:07:15,160 --> 00:07:15,840 Speaker 1: I've forgotten. 132 00:07:17,160 --> 00:07:19,240 Speaker 3: But it's nice that you got to get home and 133 00:07:19,480 --> 00:07:22,080 Speaker 3: like pampy yourself a little bit, see your friends and family, 134 00:07:22,240 --> 00:07:24,720 Speaker 3: Like there's nothing better than I assume you've been in 135 00:07:24,760 --> 00:07:27,160 Speaker 3: Thailand for quite some time now, so it was probably 136 00:07:27,520 --> 00:07:29,600 Speaker 3: such a nice relief to actually be able to get 137 00:07:29,600 --> 00:07:32,120 Speaker 3: home because so many people can't at the moment. 138 00:07:32,640 --> 00:07:35,440 Speaker 1: Absolutely, yeah, it was worth it. I feel like I 139 00:07:35,440 --> 00:07:37,680 Speaker 1: would spend that money again just to be able to 140 00:07:37,680 --> 00:07:40,440 Speaker 1: see them, because I've been here for two years and 141 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:43,880 Speaker 1: hadn't been able to get home yet. So and this 142 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:46,640 Speaker 1: is my first time overseas, first time sort of away 143 00:07:46,680 --> 00:07:49,600 Speaker 1: from family for that long. Yeah, so well, I may 144 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:53,400 Speaker 1: and I've been overseas traveling, but never lived overseas. To 145 00:07:53,480 --> 00:07:55,680 Speaker 1: go two years, it was a little bit of a 146 00:07:55,720 --> 00:07:56,640 Speaker 1: shock to the system. 147 00:07:57,400 --> 00:08:00,840 Speaker 5: Yeah, wow, all right, all right, next question, do you 148 00:08:00,960 --> 00:08:02,600 Speaker 5: have any investments? 149 00:08:03,160 --> 00:08:07,840 Speaker 1: Well, I've got my Kiwi Saver, yes, but other than that, no, 150 00:08:09,640 --> 00:08:13,440 Speaker 1: I'm a reasonably a newbe to listening to the podcast, 151 00:08:13,520 --> 00:08:18,320 Speaker 1: and so when I started listening, I was like, oh, 152 00:08:18,440 --> 00:08:21,640 Speaker 1: I better get into some investing, And I did a 153 00:08:21,640 --> 00:08:24,000 Speaker 1: bit of Google, a little bit of a research, and 154 00:08:24,040 --> 00:08:26,160 Speaker 1: I just kind of felt like now wasn't the right 155 00:08:26,200 --> 00:08:28,640 Speaker 1: time for me to be doing it while living in Thailand, 156 00:08:29,960 --> 00:08:33,079 Speaker 1: especially with not having my savings as stable as I 157 00:08:33,120 --> 00:08:36,559 Speaker 1: would like it to be, and I was spending money 158 00:08:36,600 --> 00:08:41,560 Speaker 1: more on traveling around Thailand, and yeah, just didn't feel 159 00:08:41,559 --> 00:08:43,600 Speaker 1: like it was the right time. But I'm quite determined 160 00:08:43,960 --> 00:08:48,600 Speaker 1: when I get home to New Zealand to look into cheersas. 161 00:08:48,400 --> 00:08:52,199 Speaker 4: And yeah as we loves. 162 00:08:51,559 --> 00:08:54,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, and just get the ball rolling that way. But yeah, 163 00:08:54,960 --> 00:08:56,160 Speaker 1: at the moment, no. 164 00:08:57,160 --> 00:08:59,920 Speaker 5: I love that you know what you want though. I 165 00:09:00,080 --> 00:09:02,840 Speaker 5: think that that's the most important thing for me, and 166 00:09:03,080 --> 00:09:06,800 Speaker 5: understanding your situation and what's going on with you, and 167 00:09:07,120 --> 00:09:09,720 Speaker 5: you having the education to know what you want, but 168 00:09:09,800 --> 00:09:12,640 Speaker 5: also knowing you've got access to it, because so many 169 00:09:12,640 --> 00:09:14,280 Speaker 5: people are like, oh my gosh, I feel left out 170 00:09:14,360 --> 00:09:16,360 Speaker 5: or behind because I'm not investing, and it's like, well, 171 00:09:16,360 --> 00:09:18,600 Speaker 5: that might not actually be the right thing for you 172 00:09:18,679 --> 00:09:21,200 Speaker 5: at this point in time, Like the right thing for 173 00:09:21,280 --> 00:09:24,040 Speaker 5: you might actually be spending it on tremble and that's fine. 174 00:09:24,080 --> 00:09:24,960 Speaker 4: But I just want to. 175 00:09:25,040 --> 00:09:28,240 Speaker 5: Educate you, guys, so that you actually understand that there 176 00:09:28,280 --> 00:09:30,440 Speaker 5: are options and if it's an option that you want 177 00:09:30,480 --> 00:09:32,319 Speaker 5: to take up right now, fantastic. 178 00:09:32,400 --> 00:09:34,840 Speaker 4: If you've got other priorities, good. 179 00:09:35,200 --> 00:09:38,000 Speaker 5: That's why we always say spend in line with your values, 180 00:09:38,080 --> 00:09:39,520 Speaker 5: not the values that I hold. 181 00:09:39,920 --> 00:09:42,480 Speaker 4: So I think that that that's awesome. I love hearing that. 182 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:46,160 Speaker 4: Next question, do you currently have any debts? 183 00:09:47,520 --> 00:09:50,760 Speaker 1: No, I don't, which was very exciting. I paid them 184 00:09:50,760 --> 00:09:54,560 Speaker 1: all off before I moved to time. Oh, that's awesome. 185 00:09:54,880 --> 00:09:58,040 Speaker 1: It was the most satisfying feeling. Being able to leave 186 00:09:58,080 --> 00:10:00,360 Speaker 1: the country with no debt like with felt really good. 187 00:10:00,440 --> 00:10:04,959 Speaker 1: So I had my I had my student loan, and 188 00:10:05,080 --> 00:10:09,160 Speaker 1: I had when I moved into my new apartment, I 189 00:10:09,240 --> 00:10:12,080 Speaker 1: had bought some nice furniture, so I was just sort 190 00:10:12,080 --> 00:10:16,480 Speaker 1: of paying that off fortnightly. And when I decided to 191 00:10:16,520 --> 00:10:19,680 Speaker 1: move to Thailand, I was selling my car, so I 192 00:10:19,800 --> 00:10:24,400 Speaker 1: got I think it was about ten thousand dollars from 193 00:10:24,400 --> 00:10:28,120 Speaker 1: that and so I decided to use that money to 194 00:10:28,120 --> 00:10:32,280 Speaker 1: pay off my debts. And he also, the guy that 195 00:10:32,400 --> 00:10:35,040 Speaker 1: brought the car from me, put money into my account 196 00:10:35,040 --> 00:10:37,800 Speaker 1: but also gave me some cash, and so my cash 197 00:10:37,880 --> 00:10:42,120 Speaker 1: I went shopping with and the money that was in 198 00:10:42,160 --> 00:10:45,960 Speaker 1: my account paid off my debts. So oh that's awesome. 199 00:10:45,559 --> 00:10:49,200 Speaker 5: So good. Oh that makes me so happy that you 200 00:10:49,280 --> 00:10:51,960 Speaker 5: left the country with no debt, especially knowing what you've 201 00:10:51,960 --> 00:10:54,680 Speaker 5: been through, which I'll ask more questions about in a minute. 202 00:10:55,320 --> 00:10:57,640 Speaker 4: My name's question is do you use shot back? 203 00:10:58,720 --> 00:11:02,120 Speaker 1: No, I don't, and I didn't know if I could 204 00:11:02,200 --> 00:11:05,280 Speaker 1: do if I could access it in Thailand. Is it 205 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:06,000 Speaker 1: something that I. 206 00:11:05,960 --> 00:11:07,280 Speaker 4: Can well at money? 207 00:11:07,320 --> 00:11:09,640 Speaker 5: Diarist Tony told me that you were in Thailand, So 208 00:11:09,720 --> 00:11:12,160 Speaker 5: before this episode, I did a little bit of research, 209 00:11:12,480 --> 00:11:15,320 Speaker 5: and it turns out I can't guarantee what it says 210 00:11:15,360 --> 00:11:17,680 Speaker 5: because I can't read Thai, but there is a Thai 211 00:11:17,920 --> 00:11:21,200 Speaker 5: version of the shop back website, which means you probably 212 00:11:21,200 --> 00:11:22,320 Speaker 5: could access it if. 213 00:11:22,200 --> 00:11:25,120 Speaker 1: You want to do cool well, I'll have to learn 214 00:11:25,200 --> 00:11:28,280 Speaker 1: Thai first and then I'll give it a gu It 215 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:30,440 Speaker 1: sounds like an international money win to me. 216 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:32,400 Speaker 4: International money win. 217 00:11:32,640 --> 00:11:36,400 Speaker 5: Let's go with that and seguey straight into asking you 218 00:11:36,720 --> 00:11:38,880 Speaker 5: what your best money habit is. 219 00:11:39,960 --> 00:11:42,880 Speaker 1: So I'm really I'm quite good at setting myself up 220 00:11:42,880 --> 00:11:47,440 Speaker 1: with a budget and sticking to it. Mostly I like 221 00:11:47,520 --> 00:11:50,760 Speaker 1: to be really organized and planned. So I have a 222 00:11:50,800 --> 00:11:53,439 Speaker 1: budget that I've used for years, and I've set it 223 00:11:53,559 --> 00:11:56,600 Speaker 1: up for in Thailand with my Thai bart that I'm earning, 224 00:11:58,040 --> 00:12:00,760 Speaker 1: and so I've trapped it quite consistently for a while. 225 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:05,080 Speaker 1: But there's just some months that I don't stick to 226 00:12:05,160 --> 00:12:08,040 Speaker 1: the what I've assigned myself for that month. So I'm 227 00:12:08,080 --> 00:12:11,280 Speaker 1: really good at planning, and that's probably my best money habit, 228 00:12:11,520 --> 00:12:14,760 Speaker 1: but also could be my worst money habits I don't 229 00:12:14,800 --> 00:12:16,800 Speaker 1: necessarily stick to it every month. 230 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:19,760 Speaker 4: Is that officially your worst money habit? 231 00:12:19,800 --> 00:12:22,000 Speaker 5: Because I'm a bound to ask you what your worst 232 00:12:22,040 --> 00:12:23,760 Speaker 5: money habit is, y. 233 00:12:24,280 --> 00:12:28,840 Speaker 1: Is officially my worst money habit. Like I said, with 234 00:12:28,920 --> 00:12:31,360 Speaker 1: the all or nothing personality. It's like I can go 235 00:12:32,040 --> 00:12:34,760 Speaker 1: for ages sticking to my budget and going really hard 236 00:12:34,800 --> 00:12:36,800 Speaker 1: with it and then kind of just fall off the 237 00:12:36,800 --> 00:12:40,160 Speaker 1: wagon and everything else falls off. So yeah, something I'm 238 00:12:40,200 --> 00:12:42,319 Speaker 1: trying to find a bit more of a middle ground too, 239 00:12:42,520 --> 00:12:44,800 Speaker 1: so that there's not some months where I save lots 240 00:12:44,800 --> 00:12:47,040 Speaker 1: of money and then other months where I spend heaps 241 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:48,720 Speaker 1: of money. There needs to be more of a balance. 242 00:12:49,320 --> 00:12:49,880 Speaker 1: I like that. 243 00:12:50,280 --> 00:12:52,360 Speaker 3: I feel like it's a good place to mention one 244 00:12:52,360 --> 00:12:55,240 Speaker 3: of Victoria's favorite things to say, which is, you know, 245 00:12:55,400 --> 00:12:57,640 Speaker 3: like the same way that with a really strict diet, 246 00:12:57,679 --> 00:12:59,079 Speaker 3: if you're really really hard. 247 00:12:58,920 --> 00:13:01,520 Speaker 1: On yourself, then you are bound to binge, you know. 248 00:13:01,679 --> 00:13:03,960 Speaker 3: So maybe it's a matter of being a bit easier 249 00:13:03,960 --> 00:13:06,720 Speaker 3: on yourself during those months where you go like super hard, 250 00:13:07,120 --> 00:13:09,400 Speaker 3: and then you won't you know, fall off the wagon 251 00:13:09,440 --> 00:13:11,520 Speaker 3: as badly when you get to that point. 252 00:13:12,040 --> 00:13:12,880 Speaker 1: Yes, I lovely. 253 00:13:13,000 --> 00:13:15,360 Speaker 5: I don't even have to turn up to my own podcast. 254 00:13:16,280 --> 00:13:18,160 Speaker 5: Everybody else just does it for me. 255 00:13:18,440 --> 00:13:20,120 Speaker 1: So I'm sorry, do you want. 256 00:13:19,920 --> 00:13:22,240 Speaker 4: To say you're absolutely not? 257 00:13:22,480 --> 00:13:24,960 Speaker 5: Like, in fact, I'm just like educating you guys so 258 00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:27,520 Speaker 5: well that you don't even need me, And that is 259 00:13:27,559 --> 00:13:34,560 Speaker 5: the sign of a good business. Right, you've made yourself redundant. Alright, 260 00:13:34,840 --> 00:13:38,640 Speaker 5: last question is what grade would you give your money habits? 261 00:13:38,640 --> 00:13:41,000 Speaker 4: If we forced you to give yourself a grade. 262 00:13:42,160 --> 00:13:45,480 Speaker 1: I feel like I would probably be sitting at a 263 00:13:45,520 --> 00:13:48,520 Speaker 1: C plus or a bus like. I don't feel like 264 00:13:48,559 --> 00:13:51,559 Speaker 1: I'm doing great with my money at the moment because 265 00:13:51,600 --> 00:13:54,520 Speaker 1: my savings don't reflect where I want to be. I 266 00:13:54,520 --> 00:13:57,079 Speaker 1: don't feel like I'm failing because I have lots of 267 00:13:57,679 --> 00:13:59,959 Speaker 1: listens I've learned, and I've got lots of good habit, 268 00:14:00,320 --> 00:14:03,760 Speaker 1: but I don't feel like, I mean, my savings are 269 00:14:03,800 --> 00:14:05,920 Speaker 1: next to zero at the moment because I just spent 270 00:14:06,000 --> 00:14:09,240 Speaker 1: so much in New Zealand. So once they start building 271 00:14:09,280 --> 00:14:10,720 Speaker 1: back up and I'm in a bit more of a 272 00:14:10,720 --> 00:14:13,760 Speaker 1: flow and I've got a bit of a better budget happening, 273 00:14:14,360 --> 00:14:15,680 Speaker 1: I'll raise that grade then. 274 00:14:15,840 --> 00:14:18,080 Speaker 5: But yeah, all right, Well, I have a lot of 275 00:14:18,160 --> 00:14:20,600 Speaker 5: questions that I would like to ask you, but we're 276 00:14:20,600 --> 00:14:22,680 Speaker 5: going to go to a quick break and I'll dive 277 00:14:22,720 --> 00:14:31,600 Speaker 5: straight into them after that. So diving straight back in 278 00:14:31,880 --> 00:14:35,320 Speaker 5: money Diarist, you live in Thailand, but growing up I'm 279 00:14:35,360 --> 00:14:37,720 Speaker 5: assuming you were based in New Zealand and then you 280 00:14:37,760 --> 00:14:40,160 Speaker 5: got married and you bought cars and boats in houses, 281 00:14:40,240 --> 00:14:45,000 Speaker 5: and lived the quote story book life. How did all 282 00:14:45,040 --> 00:14:48,000 Speaker 5: of that change? And how did you end up in Thailand? 283 00:14:49,840 --> 00:14:50,920 Speaker 1: This is a big story. 284 00:14:51,800 --> 00:14:53,240 Speaker 4: So I'm ready, I'm ready. 285 00:14:54,480 --> 00:14:59,640 Speaker 1: Yeah, I guess my I did live the standard New 286 00:14:59,720 --> 00:15:04,720 Speaker 1: Zealand and life growing up. My parents separated when I 287 00:15:04,800 --> 00:15:08,000 Speaker 1: was fourteen, so that was kind of the first hurdle. 288 00:15:09,480 --> 00:15:13,880 Speaker 1: But then I met my ex partner when I was twenty. 289 00:15:14,080 --> 00:15:18,160 Speaker 1: We were working together. We were both teachers. Teachers often 290 00:15:18,200 --> 00:15:20,160 Speaker 1: seemed to meet and get together. 291 00:15:21,440 --> 00:15:23,880 Speaker 5: We heard that on Our Police Officer episode two. 292 00:15:27,360 --> 00:15:31,240 Speaker 1: So he was my first serious partner and I kind 293 00:15:31,240 --> 00:15:33,960 Speaker 1: of just went into it really quickly. We moved in 294 00:15:34,040 --> 00:15:37,840 Speaker 1: together quite fast, and as I mentioned in the in 295 00:15:37,920 --> 00:15:40,240 Speaker 1: the email, he was eight years older than me, so 296 00:15:40,720 --> 00:15:45,720 Speaker 1: he already had his life set up. He had the 297 00:15:45,760 --> 00:15:48,400 Speaker 1: boat in the car, and he had already purchased a house. 298 00:15:48,440 --> 00:15:53,000 Speaker 1: He was running a holiday program business. And I was like, 299 00:15:53,080 --> 00:15:55,600 Speaker 1: this is great. You know, I don't have to do 300 00:15:55,720 --> 00:15:59,080 Speaker 1: anything or spend any money to already have these things. 301 00:15:59,240 --> 00:16:01,840 Speaker 1: And I kind of wore into this life. And I 302 00:16:01,880 --> 00:16:06,080 Speaker 1: obviously loved him too, so we oh, yeah that too. 303 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:09,360 Speaker 1: Obviously I didn't just go through all of. 304 00:16:09,360 --> 00:16:12,920 Speaker 5: Us without me a man, great financial plan. 305 00:16:14,520 --> 00:16:20,680 Speaker 1: Easy, So yeah, we traveling was always something I wanted 306 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:24,000 Speaker 1: to do, and we compromised on He didn't want to 307 00:16:24,040 --> 00:16:26,960 Speaker 1: travel or live overseas, I should say he didn't want 308 00:16:27,000 --> 00:16:30,240 Speaker 1: to live overseas, but I wanted to travel. So we 309 00:16:30,280 --> 00:16:33,640 Speaker 1: went for nine months, which was amazing. We had nine 310 00:16:33,680 --> 00:16:37,840 Speaker 1: incredible months traveling around Europe, and we actually came to 311 00:16:37,880 --> 00:16:41,840 Speaker 1: Thailand for a little bit and Bali and so that 312 00:16:41,960 --> 00:16:46,920 Speaker 1: was really amazing. And while we were it is huge. Yeah, 313 00:16:47,000 --> 00:16:49,960 Speaker 1: we were really lucky because we had someone renting the 314 00:16:49,960 --> 00:16:52,680 Speaker 1: house at home, so that was kind of looked after itself, 315 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:56,440 Speaker 1: and the holiday program business was still running. We were 316 00:16:56,440 --> 00:16:59,200 Speaker 1: doing admin while we were overseas, so that was giving 317 00:16:59,240 --> 00:17:02,800 Speaker 1: us a bit of an which was and then when 318 00:17:02,840 --> 00:17:05,520 Speaker 1: we were overseas, he proposed to me and it was 319 00:17:05,560 --> 00:17:09,720 Speaker 1: all very magical, Yeah, which I was kind of like 320 00:17:09,800 --> 00:17:12,439 Speaker 1: deep down expecting, like people had sort of whispered in 321 00:17:12,440 --> 00:17:14,600 Speaker 1: my ear, it's going to happen while you're overseas, and 322 00:17:14,640 --> 00:17:16,600 Speaker 1: so I thought, right, then it's going to happen. 323 00:17:17,040 --> 00:17:21,200 Speaker 4: It's boiling at God, Yeah, I know, so rude. 324 00:17:22,280 --> 00:17:25,000 Speaker 1: And so yeah, it was all really lovely. We came home, 325 00:17:25,400 --> 00:17:30,520 Speaker 1: we moved seties and we were set up by the beach, 326 00:17:30,880 --> 00:17:34,880 Speaker 1: and this is where we bought a new house, right 327 00:17:34,920 --> 00:17:40,080 Speaker 1: by the beach. And I was just kind of going 328 00:17:40,119 --> 00:17:42,320 Speaker 1: through the motions, I guess, because it was like, all right, 329 00:17:42,359 --> 00:17:45,320 Speaker 1: we're god engaged, We've got this house, we will be 330 00:17:45,320 --> 00:17:49,040 Speaker 1: getting married. And I think I had some doubts start 331 00:17:49,119 --> 00:17:51,320 Speaker 1: to creep in, but I kind of pushed them away 332 00:17:51,400 --> 00:17:54,600 Speaker 1: because you know, I thought, well, they're just nerves, you know. 333 00:17:55,000 --> 00:17:57,879 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's a big commitment. Everyone goes through this. 334 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:01,159 Speaker 1: Yeah, I've never done this before, so this must be 335 00:18:01,200 --> 00:18:05,760 Speaker 1: what it feels like. And so we got married and 336 00:18:05,840 --> 00:18:08,679 Speaker 1: I was really happy. We had the most wonderful wedding 337 00:18:08,760 --> 00:18:13,159 Speaker 1: day and had all our friends and family there. But 338 00:18:13,520 --> 00:18:17,280 Speaker 1: it was just after the wedding and I guess we 339 00:18:17,280 --> 00:18:20,200 Speaker 1: were probably starting to talk about having children, and that's 340 00:18:20,240 --> 00:18:25,800 Speaker 1: when I thought of I realized, Yeah, I guess so. 341 00:18:26,359 --> 00:18:31,239 Speaker 1: And I feel quite nervous talking about this because I 342 00:18:31,280 --> 00:18:34,040 Speaker 1: haven't really shared this on such a public platform. But 343 00:18:35,119 --> 00:18:41,600 Speaker 1: I actually cheated on my husband ex husband. And it's 344 00:18:42,080 --> 00:18:45,359 Speaker 1: the biggest lesson I'll ever learn in my life. It's 345 00:18:45,400 --> 00:18:48,000 Speaker 1: not something I'm proud of, and I have held a 346 00:18:48,000 --> 00:18:52,320 Speaker 1: lot of shame and guilt around it. I feel like 347 00:18:52,320 --> 00:18:54,719 Speaker 1: I'm letting that go now and I'm able to move forward. 348 00:18:54,800 --> 00:18:58,760 Speaker 1: But definitely don't condone my behavior, but I can see 349 00:18:58,880 --> 00:19:02,080 Speaker 1: how it happened. I was just not I didn't want 350 00:19:02,119 --> 00:19:04,280 Speaker 1: to be in the marriage, and I didn't see an 351 00:19:04,320 --> 00:19:08,359 Speaker 1: easy way out of it, so I took a terrible 352 00:19:08,400 --> 00:19:11,800 Speaker 1: way out, I guess. So we tried to make it 353 00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:14,240 Speaker 1: work for sort of two or three months, and I 354 00:19:14,280 --> 00:19:15,920 Speaker 1: could just see it wasn't going to happen, and I 355 00:19:16,000 --> 00:19:18,800 Speaker 1: also knew deep down that I didn't want to see 356 00:19:18,840 --> 00:19:19,840 Speaker 1: it continue working. 357 00:19:19,960 --> 00:19:24,879 Speaker 5: So I'm way of kind of, you know, finding your 358 00:19:24,880 --> 00:19:29,280 Speaker 5: way out of that relationship. From a psychology perspective, that's 359 00:19:29,320 --> 00:19:32,080 Speaker 5: actually really common. I mean, yeah, right, Like we don't 360 00:19:32,080 --> 00:19:34,800 Speaker 5: condone that, but it's actually a way of people going 361 00:19:35,359 --> 00:19:37,840 Speaker 5: everything's perfect. I feel like I have to break it 362 00:19:37,880 --> 00:19:40,359 Speaker 5: so I can leave because you don't want to be there, 363 00:19:40,400 --> 00:19:43,439 Speaker 5: and you know, it's an awful situation to be in, 364 00:19:43,440 --> 00:19:45,960 Speaker 5: and I'm sure people in that situation do har a 365 00:19:46,040 --> 00:19:49,040 Speaker 5: guilt like you are, but you know, it is actually 366 00:19:49,040 --> 00:19:51,439 Speaker 5: more common than you think, and it's kind of like 367 00:19:51,600 --> 00:19:54,119 Speaker 5: you trying to be a rebel. 368 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:54,240 Speaker 4: In a way. 369 00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:57,920 Speaker 1: Yeah, and I can definitely see and understand that now, 370 00:19:57,960 --> 00:20:00,400 Speaker 1: And at the time, I was just like, why did 371 00:20:00,400 --> 00:20:03,240 Speaker 1: I do this? Like I wrecked this beautiful life that 372 00:20:03,320 --> 00:20:08,400 Speaker 1: I had, But I'm thankful that the path has led 373 00:20:08,440 --> 00:20:11,760 Speaker 1: me to where I am. So yeah, I moved out 374 00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:16,360 Speaker 1: of my lovely beach house and I moved in with 375 00:20:16,400 --> 00:20:19,200 Speaker 1: my mum. At the time was really really lucky because 376 00:20:19,240 --> 00:20:22,919 Speaker 1: she had just moved to the same city as me, 377 00:20:23,240 --> 00:20:26,399 Speaker 1: so so I'm perfect timing. I moved in with her, 378 00:20:27,040 --> 00:20:30,360 Speaker 1: and then probably about six six weeks after that, decided, Nope, 379 00:20:30,440 --> 00:20:35,120 Speaker 1: can't live with my parents. You're like, no, no, no, 380 00:20:35,960 --> 00:20:39,840 Speaker 1: You're like thanks, but no, thanks marm So she gave 381 00:20:39,880 --> 00:20:41,800 Speaker 1: me the six weeks I needed to kind of like 382 00:20:42,040 --> 00:20:46,040 Speaker 1: rest and my recover. Actually, yeah, I got really sick 383 00:20:46,160 --> 00:20:48,760 Speaker 1: during that time, and I was so run down just 384 00:20:48,840 --> 00:20:52,520 Speaker 1: from the months of streas of the crying and the 385 00:20:52,680 --> 00:20:56,000 Speaker 1: arguing and all of that leading up to us actually separating. 386 00:20:56,600 --> 00:21:00,920 Speaker 1: So I moved into a house with another flatmate, and 387 00:21:02,520 --> 00:21:05,840 Speaker 1: then my ex and I had to start deciding how 388 00:21:05,840 --> 00:21:10,679 Speaker 1: we were going to split up assets and things. And 389 00:21:10,880 --> 00:21:13,320 Speaker 1: also while all of this was happening, I had friends 390 00:21:13,359 --> 00:21:16,560 Speaker 1: come back from overseas and said that they were teaching 391 00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:19,360 Speaker 1: overseas and that they think I would love it and 392 00:21:19,680 --> 00:21:23,159 Speaker 1: I should look into it. So I jumped on the website, 393 00:21:23,400 --> 00:21:26,320 Speaker 1: I filled out my profile, and I started looking for 394 00:21:26,400 --> 00:21:29,639 Speaker 1: jobs overseas and I thought, this is crazy but exciting 395 00:21:29,680 --> 00:21:34,320 Speaker 1: all at the same time. And so that was about 396 00:21:34,400 --> 00:21:37,199 Speaker 1: January that I was starting to look for jobs, but 397 00:21:37,240 --> 00:21:39,919 Speaker 1: I didn't get anything, and by March April, I was 398 00:21:39,920 --> 00:21:41,760 Speaker 1: sort of resigned to the fact I was staying in 399 00:21:41,800 --> 00:21:45,960 Speaker 1: New Zealand and no one sort of gets jobs that 400 00:21:46,160 --> 00:21:49,560 Speaker 1: late in the year because school starts in August, and 401 00:21:49,800 --> 00:21:52,560 Speaker 1: so I thought, okay, well this is done. And then 402 00:21:53,000 --> 00:21:57,040 Speaker 1: in May I saw a job for Thailand and I thought, oh, 403 00:21:57,720 --> 00:21:59,800 Speaker 1: let's apply for it. I've been to Thailand before, I 404 00:21:59,840 --> 00:22:02,240 Speaker 1: know that I like it there. This could be a 405 00:22:02,240 --> 00:22:05,200 Speaker 1: fun little adventure. And sure enough I got the job. 406 00:22:05,480 --> 00:22:11,000 Speaker 6: So within wild what a huge risk for you to take, Like, yeah, 407 00:22:11,040 --> 00:22:11,880 Speaker 6: that's massive. 408 00:22:12,000 --> 00:22:14,160 Speaker 3: There's not a lot of people that could comfortably go 409 00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:15,960 Speaker 3: you know what. I don't really speak the language, but 410 00:22:16,000 --> 00:22:20,040 Speaker 3: I've been there once and it was fine. I loved it. 411 00:22:20,119 --> 00:22:22,840 Speaker 1: But I think I needed that risk and I needed 412 00:22:23,480 --> 00:22:27,199 Speaker 1: to do something drastic. So within two months I was 413 00:22:27,240 --> 00:22:32,480 Speaker 1: definitely tecking out, leaving New Zealand and getting to Thailand. Gosh. 414 00:22:33,400 --> 00:22:37,439 Speaker 1: During all of that happening, I was working with my 415 00:22:37,520 --> 00:22:40,400 Speaker 1: ex to try and sort out our stuff. And so, 416 00:22:41,119 --> 00:22:43,600 Speaker 1: because I was still holding a lot of shame and 417 00:22:43,680 --> 00:22:50,560 Speaker 1: guilt around what happened, he didn't make me feel bad 418 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:53,640 Speaker 1: for it, but I guess I did feel bad. And 419 00:22:53,720 --> 00:22:56,399 Speaker 1: so I said to him, because he was still keeping 420 00:22:56,440 --> 00:22:59,000 Speaker 1: our house, I said, look, I know you can't pay 421 00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:02,760 Speaker 1: me out at the moment, so let's just do Let's 422 00:23:02,840 --> 00:23:05,879 Speaker 1: just do minimal. I will take what I contributed with 423 00:23:05,960 --> 00:23:09,439 Speaker 1: my Keiwi saver and say a little bit more. And 424 00:23:09,480 --> 00:23:12,760 Speaker 1: so that was about ten thousand dollars. And when I 425 00:23:12,840 --> 00:23:15,720 Speaker 1: went to the lawyers and she said, you know, you 426 00:23:16,640 --> 00:23:18,960 Speaker 1: have a right to have about one hundred and fifty 427 00:23:19,880 --> 00:23:23,400 Speaker 1: one thousand dollars out of this because of how much 428 00:23:23,480 --> 00:23:27,520 Speaker 1: your house house has grown and appreciated over the time 429 00:23:27,520 --> 00:23:30,639 Speaker 1: that you've had it. Are you sure that ten thousand 430 00:23:30,760 --> 00:23:32,640 Speaker 1: is all you want to take? And I said, yeah, look, 431 00:23:32,680 --> 00:23:36,640 Speaker 1: that's all. That's all. I feel like I'm owed because 432 00:23:36,720 --> 00:23:39,640 Speaker 1: I just felt so guilty about the whole situation, and 433 00:23:39,720 --> 00:23:42,479 Speaker 1: so he had said to me, you can take anything 434 00:23:42,480 --> 00:23:45,200 Speaker 1: that you want in house. I didn't really have anything 435 00:23:45,200 --> 00:23:46,679 Speaker 1: that I could take with me. I didn't have the 436 00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:49,639 Speaker 1: space to take things, so I took some kitchen stuff, 437 00:23:50,320 --> 00:23:52,879 Speaker 1: loaded up my car, and that was about all I 438 00:23:52,960 --> 00:23:56,960 Speaker 1: took from the whole situation. And I also was mindful 439 00:23:57,040 --> 00:23:59,880 Speaker 1: that he had a house before I came into the relationship, 440 00:24:00,240 --> 00:24:03,720 Speaker 1: and we didn't sign anything. There was no pre agreement 441 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:06,000 Speaker 1: to say that he would keep the house if we 442 00:24:06,000 --> 00:24:08,040 Speaker 1: were to separate. But I just had that at the 443 00:24:08,040 --> 00:24:10,919 Speaker 1: back of my mind that I didn't earn any of 444 00:24:10,960 --> 00:24:15,280 Speaker 1: that he already had that beforehand. So the lawyer wasn't 445 00:24:15,320 --> 00:24:18,040 Speaker 1: happy with me because she knew I was being cheated 446 00:24:18,080 --> 00:24:20,000 Speaker 1: out of a lot of money, but I knew in 447 00:24:20,040 --> 00:24:22,040 Speaker 1: my heart that I just I couldn't take any more 448 00:24:22,080 --> 00:24:24,280 Speaker 1: than that, so ten thousand dollars. 449 00:24:24,240 --> 00:24:28,439 Speaker 5: So I just feel like it's different situations for different people, 450 00:24:28,520 --> 00:24:31,399 Speaker 5: and that at that time worked for you, and I 451 00:24:31,480 --> 00:24:35,199 Speaker 5: actually really respect that, Like I really really respect that 452 00:24:35,240 --> 00:24:35,679 Speaker 5: you were. 453 00:24:35,560 --> 00:24:37,800 Speaker 4: Like, no, this is what feels right for me. And 454 00:24:37,840 --> 00:24:39,680 Speaker 4: even though you had a lawyer saying no, I can 455 00:24:39,760 --> 00:24:41,639 Speaker 4: get you more money, we can argue this. 456 00:24:41,760 --> 00:24:45,119 Speaker 5: You're like no, actually, like for me and my mental 457 00:24:45,160 --> 00:24:48,320 Speaker 5: health and my sanity and the stuff we've been through together, Like, 458 00:24:48,400 --> 00:24:51,359 Speaker 5: I don't want that. And you know, that's a really 459 00:24:51,359 --> 00:24:52,080 Speaker 5: big decision. 460 00:24:52,160 --> 00:24:58,040 Speaker 1: Is that a decision that you regret sometimes? Yes, especially 461 00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:02,640 Speaker 1: because so after I'd spending money on the lawyers as well. 462 00:25:02,960 --> 00:25:05,280 Speaker 1: I probably ended up with about six and a half 463 00:25:05,359 --> 00:25:08,600 Speaker 1: seven thousand, which didn't even cover what I contributed for 464 00:25:08,680 --> 00:25:15,159 Speaker 1: my Keywi Saver. But I sometimes regret it because during 465 00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:18,320 Speaker 1: no it was about three or four months after that, 466 00:25:18,640 --> 00:25:20,639 Speaker 1: I went did a bit of stalking on Facebook and 467 00:25:20,680 --> 00:25:22,920 Speaker 1: had a look at his profile to just see what's 468 00:25:22,920 --> 00:25:27,199 Speaker 1: been happening, and I found out that he actually was 469 00:25:27,840 --> 00:25:31,760 Speaker 1: preparing the house to sell and so would have had 470 00:25:32,440 --> 00:25:36,360 Speaker 1: more than enough money to pay me out how much 471 00:25:36,400 --> 00:25:40,840 Speaker 1: the house it appreciated during that time. So I was disappointed. 472 00:25:41,040 --> 00:25:45,600 Speaker 1: And I don't regret the decision because I made the 473 00:25:45,600 --> 00:25:47,720 Speaker 1: decision at the time for what I needed to but 474 00:25:48,320 --> 00:25:50,879 Speaker 1: I just wish I had that knowledge that actually he 475 00:25:51,080 --> 00:25:53,359 Speaker 1: was kind of behind my back trying to sell the 476 00:25:53,400 --> 00:25:57,199 Speaker 1: house and wanted to just take the profit for himself, 477 00:25:57,240 --> 00:26:01,760 Speaker 1: which I understand, but yeah, a little bit disappointing, I guess. 478 00:26:01,800 --> 00:26:05,040 Speaker 1: Joining Yeah, did you find it hard? 479 00:26:05,200 --> 00:26:07,880 Speaker 3: So obviously, you guys got together when you were twenty 480 00:26:08,359 --> 00:26:11,200 Speaker 3: a man, like really pivotal years for when you kind 481 00:26:11,280 --> 00:26:14,040 Speaker 3: of discovering yourself and learning. 482 00:26:13,720 --> 00:26:16,000 Speaker 1: How you are with money and all. 483 00:26:15,920 --> 00:26:19,040 Speaker 3: Of those things. And did you find then that it 484 00:26:19,080 --> 00:26:21,000 Speaker 3: was hard when you were on your own, You're like, 485 00:26:21,040 --> 00:26:24,040 Speaker 3: oh my gosh, all of a sudden, I'm in control 486 00:26:24,200 --> 00:26:28,640 Speaker 3: of my entire financial life and my own personal life 487 00:26:28,680 --> 00:26:31,040 Speaker 3: as well. Did you find it hard to deal with 488 00:26:31,119 --> 00:26:32,719 Speaker 3: money by yourself after that? 489 00:26:33,520 --> 00:26:37,479 Speaker 1: I actually didn't. I had quite a different experience, So 490 00:26:37,760 --> 00:26:40,800 Speaker 1: I was always pretty good with my money. And then 491 00:26:40,920 --> 00:26:45,920 Speaker 1: when I met this guy, we joined bank accounts quite 492 00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:48,040 Speaker 1: early on, and I guess he kind of taught me 493 00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:50,439 Speaker 1: the ropes. Like I was seeing what was happening with 494 00:26:50,600 --> 00:26:53,480 Speaker 1: the business and the money coming in, and I was 495 00:26:53,560 --> 00:26:56,560 Speaker 1: seeing the bills being paid, and sometimes I would do 496 00:26:56,600 --> 00:26:58,960 Speaker 1: it sometimes so you would do it. It was quite 497 00:26:58,960 --> 00:27:03,159 Speaker 1: a shared approach, and it was me that created the 498 00:27:03,200 --> 00:27:06,880 Speaker 1: budget for us, and we went through that every fortnight. 499 00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:09,000 Speaker 1: Once we've been paid, we went back and look and 500 00:27:09,280 --> 00:27:12,640 Speaker 1: filled in our budget, and yeah, it was quite all. 501 00:27:12,680 --> 00:27:16,199 Speaker 1: That's really cool. Yeah, So when I did, when I 502 00:27:16,240 --> 00:27:21,120 Speaker 1: did have control of my own finances. I already knew 503 00:27:21,160 --> 00:27:22,600 Speaker 1: what I wanted to do with them, and it was 504 00:27:22,640 --> 00:27:25,560 Speaker 1: actually quite an exhilarating feeling. I was like, Oh, this 505 00:27:25,680 --> 00:27:28,119 Speaker 1: money is actually just mine. Now I don't have to 506 00:27:28,160 --> 00:27:33,160 Speaker 1: worry about paying the whatever bill and I can spend 507 00:27:33,200 --> 00:27:36,040 Speaker 1: it on what I want and not have to check 508 00:27:36,119 --> 00:27:37,080 Speaker 1: with someone else. 509 00:27:37,560 --> 00:27:38,840 Speaker 4: Like you've got complete freedom. 510 00:27:39,040 --> 00:27:41,560 Speaker 5: Nobody has to know about this, like it's not anybody 511 00:27:41,600 --> 00:27:42,400 Speaker 5: else's decision. 512 00:27:42,560 --> 00:27:45,000 Speaker 4: It's really empowering dowing your own finances. 513 00:27:45,400 --> 00:27:48,680 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it really was so yeah, And it was 514 00:27:48,720 --> 00:27:51,640 Speaker 1: also very empowering when I did have my own money 515 00:27:51,680 --> 00:27:53,840 Speaker 1: to then be able to pay off my own debts 516 00:27:53,960 --> 00:27:59,960 Speaker 1: and also leave New Zealand knowing that I had finalized 517 00:28:00,119 --> 00:28:03,399 Speaker 1: all the deals with my ex husband and we've sorted 518 00:28:03,440 --> 00:28:06,399 Speaker 1: out that situation and I've paid everything I need to, 519 00:28:06,440 --> 00:28:09,480 Speaker 1: and I just I left New Zealand with everything that 520 00:28:09,960 --> 00:28:14,160 Speaker 1: I needed. So it was quite nice and it finished well, 521 00:28:14,280 --> 00:28:15,840 Speaker 1: I guess. 522 00:28:15,480 --> 00:28:16,639 Speaker 4: Yeah, wow. 523 00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:18,760 Speaker 5: I just I feel like that was a journey that 524 00:28:18,800 --> 00:28:21,159 Speaker 5: we just got to go on with you with and 525 00:28:21,280 --> 00:28:23,359 Speaker 5: down saying, oh my gosh, what a story to share. 526 00:28:23,480 --> 00:28:24,000 Speaker 4: Thank you. 527 00:28:24,320 --> 00:28:27,960 Speaker 5: I feel like it's such a special space where you're like, Okay, cool, like, 528 00:28:28,040 --> 00:28:30,640 Speaker 5: I haven't really told people this, but I'm going to tell. 529 00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:33,000 Speaker 4: You, guys, and I'm really grateful for that. 530 00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:37,159 Speaker 1: Thank you, no worries. It's nice to share this, and 531 00:28:37,200 --> 00:28:40,200 Speaker 1: it also helps me with healing and moving forward as well, 532 00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:43,800 Speaker 1: because the more I talk about it, the more perspectives 533 00:28:43,840 --> 00:28:47,479 Speaker 1: I get on it, and I can just not justify 534 00:28:47,520 --> 00:28:52,440 Speaker 1: it because I don't justify my actions, but understand why 535 00:28:52,520 --> 00:28:54,960 Speaker 1: some things might have happened and how I've got to 536 00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:58,600 Speaker 1: be being in Thailand, and I love living in Thailand. 537 00:28:58,720 --> 00:29:02,560 Speaker 1: I love the life here. Unfortunately with lockdown, it's not 538 00:29:02,720 --> 00:29:04,640 Speaker 1: as great as I would like it to be at 539 00:29:04,640 --> 00:29:08,560 Speaker 1: the moment. Wow, But I have learned a lot about 540 00:29:08,560 --> 00:29:11,600 Speaker 1: myself and like I might have messed out on some 541 00:29:11,680 --> 00:29:13,959 Speaker 1: of my twinties actually getting to know who I was 542 00:29:14,040 --> 00:29:16,040 Speaker 1: and exploring, but I'm. 543 00:29:15,880 --> 00:29:18,320 Speaker 6: Doing that now and so that feels really nice. To 544 00:29:19,640 --> 00:29:22,960 Speaker 6: the twenties, my friend, And it's never too late to. 545 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:26,120 Speaker 3: Learn who you are, like you just never ever have 546 00:29:26,240 --> 00:29:28,800 Speaker 3: gone past the point where it's possible. And I really 547 00:29:28,880 --> 00:29:31,920 Speaker 3: hope people listen to this and feel inspired to take 548 00:29:31,960 --> 00:29:35,600 Speaker 3: that plunge. I know that right now with COVID moving overseas, 549 00:29:35,640 --> 00:29:38,520 Speaker 3: might be the plunge you can take, but you know 550 00:29:38,800 --> 00:29:41,240 Speaker 3: that there's just it's never too late to take a chance. 551 00:29:41,280 --> 00:29:44,280 Speaker 3: And that's just super inspirational. I hope people feel that 552 00:29:44,440 --> 00:29:45,400 Speaker 3: the same way that I do. 553 00:29:45,520 --> 00:29:48,040 Speaker 5: After listening, Oh my gosh, I love it and like, 554 00:29:48,320 --> 00:29:50,840 Speaker 5: that's such a journey and you sound like such a 555 00:29:50,880 --> 00:29:53,240 Speaker 5: special person. And I think that it's one of those 556 00:29:53,280 --> 00:29:55,600 Speaker 5: things where no judgment from our side of the table, 557 00:29:55,880 --> 00:29:58,280 Speaker 5: Like we all go through situations that we might not 558 00:29:58,360 --> 00:30:00,760 Speaker 5: have wanted to be in, and I think that it's 559 00:30:00,760 --> 00:30:03,200 Speaker 5: one of those things that I just want to know 560 00:30:03,240 --> 00:30:05,120 Speaker 5: that you've grown as a person. I just want to 561 00:30:05,160 --> 00:30:07,520 Speaker 5: know that I can support you through that and be 562 00:30:08,120 --> 00:30:10,680 Speaker 5: part of the journey, and that it's not some kind 563 00:30:10,760 --> 00:30:13,400 Speaker 5: of recurrent thing that you're like, okay, cool, like this 564 00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:15,280 Speaker 5: is just who I am, Like it's not. It was 565 00:30:15,400 --> 00:30:18,000 Speaker 5: like your way of dealing with the situation and that's okay. 566 00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:20,520 Speaker 5: And yeah, I just think that some people are going 567 00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:22,400 Speaker 5: to listen to this and be like, oh my gosh, 568 00:30:22,440 --> 00:30:25,800 Speaker 5: that was me and that's actually okay, I went through that. 569 00:30:26,040 --> 00:30:27,880 Speaker 5: I just need to learn who I am and go 570 00:30:27,960 --> 00:30:29,760 Speaker 5: through this. I mean, maybe they don't need to be 571 00:30:29,800 --> 00:30:32,520 Speaker 5: as dramatic as you were and literally leave the country. 572 00:30:33,120 --> 00:30:35,960 Speaker 4: But I think it's definitely about learning who we are. 573 00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:39,400 Speaker 4: So thank you. Oh my gosh, what a story. 574 00:30:40,240 --> 00:30:42,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you for letting me share on your platform. 575 00:30:42,800 --> 00:30:46,000 Speaker 5: Oh so grateful for it. But sadly I do think 576 00:30:46,000 --> 00:30:48,840 Speaker 5: that that is all we have time for today. So 577 00:30:49,120 --> 00:30:51,200 Speaker 5: just before we head off, we'd like to acknowledge and 578 00:30:51,320 --> 00:30:55,440 Speaker 5: pay respect to Australia's Aboriginal and torrest Rate islander peoples. 579 00:30:55,800 --> 00:30:59,120 Speaker 5: They're the traditional custodians at the lands, the waterways and 580 00:30:59,160 --> 00:31:02,760 Speaker 5: the skies all across Australia. We thank you for sharing 581 00:31:02,840 --> 00:31:04,720 Speaker 5: and for caring for the land on which we are 582 00:31:04,760 --> 00:31:08,120 Speaker 5: able to learn. We pay respects to elders past and present, 583 00:31:08,200 --> 00:31:10,440 Speaker 5: and we share our friendship and our kindness. 584 00:31:11,000 --> 00:31:13,400 Speaker 3: The advice shared on She's on the Money is generally 585 00:31:13,520 --> 00:31:17,160 Speaker 3: nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on 586 00:31:17,200 --> 00:31:20,360 Speaker 3: the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not 587 00:31:20,400 --> 00:31:23,600 Speaker 3: be relied upon to make an investment or any financial decision. 588 00:31:24,000 --> 00:31:27,400 Speaker 3: And we promise that Victoria Divine is an authorized representative 589 00:31:27,400 --> 00:31:31,520 Speaker 3: of Australia Pacific Funds Management Proprietary Limited ABN three four 590 00:31:31,600 --> 00:31:34,760 Speaker 3: one three two four six three two five seven, AFSL 591 00:31:34,880 --> 00:31:37,000 Speaker 3: three three nine one five one. 592 00:31:37,080 --> 00:31:38,680 Speaker 4: See you next week. Guy fine.