WEBVTT - MINI: Ladybug Part 1 🐕‍🦺

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<v Speaker 1>Is it just me a podcast by a couple of

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<v Speaker 1>midget I've got a moral conundrum. I need your two

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<v Speaker 1>cents on here. Okay, So if you've been keeping a

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<v Speaker 1>close eye on my Instagram, you would know that I'm

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<v Speaker 1>currently in my walking era.

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<v Speaker 2>I've got you muched, unfortunately, but I can imagine that's fun.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, I'm making it known that I'm in my walking

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<v Speaker 1>era because I really was not getting enough steps in

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<v Speaker 1>my day.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, there was one fucking.

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<v Speaker 1>Day that I had a low of forty nine steps.

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<v Speaker 2>Mitchell. That's shocking.

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<v Speaker 1>I know, I know exactly what happened on that day.

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<v Speaker 1>I had a big night, I was hungover, I woke up,

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<v Speaker 1>walked to the office, edited this podcast. On a Sunday,

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<v Speaker 1>I uploaded it, went back to bed. Wow that was

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<v Speaker 1>my forty nine step day. And I was like, right, okay,

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<v Speaker 1>I need to fucking up the end of here. I

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<v Speaker 1>got a notification the other day saying, oh, your average

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<v Speaker 1>daily steps have risen this month. Fuck goes that?

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<v Speaker 2>Hell done? How done?

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<v Speaker 1>That's big. But the thing is, I've got this weird,

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<v Speaker 1>fucking toxic trait where I hate aimlessly walking. I don't

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<v Speaker 1>like to just go for a walk for no fucking reason.

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<v Speaker 2>That's the point of it. But the reason is you're

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<v Speaker 2>going to better your health.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, but that's not enough of me. I like to

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<v Speaker 1>kill two birds with one stone. I'm an afficient honey. So,

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<v Speaker 1>like you know, people usually ge pissed off when you

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<v Speaker 1>get a little slip from the post office you have

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<v Speaker 1>to go pick it up. I'm like, perfect an excuse

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<v Speaker 1>to walk. That's two k's both ways.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh so you need something to do.

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<v Speaker 1>Yes, I need to be walking for a reason. Otherwise

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<v Speaker 1>it feels like a waste of time, which I know

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<v Speaker 1>is a stupid way of thinking about it.

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<v Speaker 2>What about what about if you aim to finish a podcast?

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<v Speaker 1>Well, sometimes podcasts are getting shorter and shorter these days.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, they really are.

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<v Speaker 1>And also what happens is I'll hit play on the

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<v Speaker 1>podcast in the house, and then I'll start procrastinating, and

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<v Speaker 1>then the podcast is nearly finished and I'm like, I

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<v Speaker 1>haven't even started the walking.

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<v Speaker 2>I do the same thing. I take phone calls when

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<v Speaker 2>I walk. I prefer to chat to people. Yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>I do call my family, call you meet you when

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<v Speaker 2>i'm walking.

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<v Speaker 1>Have I ever gotten a walking call for you?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah? You have. If I'm out of breath and sound

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<v Speaker 2>like I'm about to die.

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<v Speaker 1>Then. Yeah, but one of my friends came up with

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<v Speaker 1>a suggestion because I don't like to walk for no reason.

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<v Speaker 1>They said, why did you become a dog walker? And

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<v Speaker 1>I was like, fucking bingo. I love that because not

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<v Speaker 1>only do I need a reason to walk, but I

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<v Speaker 1>also need accountability.

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<v Speaker 2>And you're getting paid.

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<v Speaker 1>True, well, I wouldn't even fucking charge. I don't mind.

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<v Speaker 1>I just want to be able to have a reason

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<v Speaker 1>to leave. And also someone's expecting me there at a

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<v Speaker 1>certain time in a certain days, so I have to

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<v Speaker 1>actually go. I can't bitch it. Yeah, because, yeah, that's

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<v Speaker 1>that's the Why do you think I'm going to politis classes?

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<v Speaker 1>Because I have a time and a place to be there.

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<v Speaker 2>You hate dogs? You're a cat guy.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm actually not. I was always a dog person. The

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<v Speaker 1>reason I didn't get a dog was because I was

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<v Speaker 1>working here and didn't have time.

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<v Speaker 2>To walk it.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, fair, fair, But now that I'm a lady of leisure,

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<v Speaker 1>essentially I've got time to walk dogs.

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<v Speaker 2>So you're gonna put a little tear off on a

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<v Speaker 2>post it note around town?

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<v Speaker 1>Well, I actually signed up to I don't know it's

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<v Speaker 1>sort of like a dog walking market place. It's an hour.

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<v Speaker 2>Why does it exist? What's it called?

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<v Speaker 1>What is it called? Actually, it's called not sponsored walk

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<v Speaker 1>and Wall. No, it's called Porchhake Porsche.

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<v Speaker 2>That's funny. Yeah, it's a very funny name.

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<v Speaker 1>And so this was months ago. I set up my

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<v Speaker 1>poor Shake profile. I got Chat GBT to write a description.

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<v Speaker 1>It's like, I'm a passionate, enthusiastic dog walker, blah blah

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<v Speaker 1>blah blah, fucking mad about dogs.

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<v Speaker 2>My toil is wagging at the thought of walking.

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<v Speaker 1>Your beloved wouldn't have said tail wagging? Jesus, what's my tail?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh? Stop it?

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<v Speaker 1>But anyway, this was months ago that I signed up

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<v Speaker 1>to be a dog walker, and I honestly fucking forgot.

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<v Speaker 1>This week I got my first inquiry. Oh my god,

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<v Speaker 1>my first customer. But this is where the moral dilemma

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<v Speaker 1>comes in.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh you fuck them? No, sorry, I don't know.

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<v Speaker 1>So they've inquired about me walking their gorgeous little dog

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<v Speaker 1>named Ladybug.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, do you have a photo of Lady book.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm trying to find it. But I think Poor Shake

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<v Speaker 1>might be fucking glitching at the moment because it keeps

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<v Speaker 1>saying four oh four being not found. I did have

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<v Speaker 1>a photo of Ladybug. I'd love to show you one

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<v Speaker 1>of those little fucking black mare tea things. No, not

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<v Speaker 1>like a what do you call it? Fuck black French bulldog? Okay,

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<v Speaker 1>And so they are going away for three weeks and

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<v Speaker 1>there's a few days a week that their partner isn't home.

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<v Speaker 1>So they want me to do Monday, Tuesday, and Thursday.

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<v Speaker 2>Okay, right for.

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<v Speaker 1>Three weeks, and so they want me to do it,

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<v Speaker 1>and I really want to do it. However, here's the

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<v Speaker 1>fucking problem. Right, two of the days I'm going to

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<v Speaker 1>be in fucking Ularu. Ah oh, and so tomorrow I'm

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<v Speaker 1>doing my meet and greet with Ladybug to make sure

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<v Speaker 1>I'm a good fit. Do I or do I not

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<v Speaker 1>flag that I'm actually not available?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh?

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<v Speaker 1>No, because I really want to do it. I'm so excited.

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<v Speaker 2>You can't get Ai to help me with this one.

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<v Speaker 2>AI can't walk the fucking dog. You need to be honest.

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<v Speaker 2>You have to tell them that you can't. You're in

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<v Speaker 2>Ularu unless you want to take ding fucking beetle with

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<v Speaker 2>you there and walk him around the red dot. Otherwise, no,

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<v Speaker 2>but I.

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<v Speaker 1>Really want to do it, and I'm like, if this

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<v Speaker 1>person's away for three weeks, how would they even know?

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<v Speaker 1>I don't if I don't turn up and walk it.

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<v Speaker 2>That's the more mma. Okay, I was thinking just tell

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<v Speaker 2>them no, but I get it you're thinking of.

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<v Speaker 1>Lying as I really want to walk this fucking dog.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm so excited. It's so funny.

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<v Speaker 2>How many days would you not be able to walk it?

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<v Speaker 1>I think they're asking me to walk it three times

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<v Speaker 1>a week for three weeks, so that's nine, So two

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<v Speaker 1>out of nine. I think that's fine.

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<v Speaker 2>The dog can have a rest.

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<v Speaker 1>But I can't just leave the dog unattended, No, I

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<v Speaker 1>would have to give the key to a friend or something.

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<v Speaker 2>Wait, are you also feeding this dog day and every

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<v Speaker 2>day and night?

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<v Speaker 1>We haven't nutted out the details yet. I have my

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<v Speaker 1>meet and greet tomorrow.

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<v Speaker 2>So they must be. If you're only working it twice

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<v Speaker 2>a week or three times a week, someone else must

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<v Speaker 2>be coming to feed it every other day because you've

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<v Speaker 2>got to feed the dog morning.

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<v Speaker 1>Another partner. So it's a couple. One of them's going

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<v Speaker 1>away for three weeks, the other one is kind of

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<v Speaker 1>in and out of the house sometimes they're sometimes not.

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<v Speaker 1>And so the days that poor little Ladybug is home alone,

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<v Speaker 1>that's when they've enlisted Mitchell the darlingdog walker from Paulshake

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<v Speaker 1>dot Com Dotteue to come in and pick up the slack.

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<v Speaker 1>But I don't want them to hire someone else. If

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<v Speaker 1>I tell them I can't do these days, they might

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<v Speaker 1>hire someone else.

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<v Speaker 2>Mitchell, there's plenty of dot and I'll.

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<v Speaker 1>Have all nine shifts ripped out of my hand.

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<v Speaker 2>Shifts sound like a fifteen year old about to work

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<v Speaker 2>at McDonald's. No, say no, you don't want to be

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<v Speaker 2>to be involved in the death of a dog.

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<v Speaker 1>Why would it die?

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<v Speaker 2>You just don't know. I catastrophize everything. So what if

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<v Speaker 2>poor little gumdrop got hit by a vase or something

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<v Speaker 2>when you weren't home, but you were meant to find

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<v Speaker 2>it the next day, but you didn'tcause you're in the

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<v Speaker 2>red center.

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<v Speaker 1>But I wouldn't leave the dog there without anyone checking in.

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<v Speaker 1>But would you get somebody else? You know? Is that

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<v Speaker 1>an option? I don't know either. I'm honest, and I

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<v Speaker 1>tell them there's two days I can't do here, and

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<v Speaker 1>I risk them pulling out all together and going with

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<v Speaker 1>someone else, or I.

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<v Speaker 2>Say sure, I'll be there, Mitch.

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<v Speaker 1>I'll be there, But then I just give their house

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<v Speaker 1>cays to another friend. You may can go look after Ladybug.

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<v Speaker 2>Are you angling that you want me to go and

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<v Speaker 2>fill in for your two days and look after that?

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<v Speaker 1>And I was hoping you'd offer. I think that's a

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<v Speaker 1>great idea.

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<v Speaker 2>What are the dates?

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<v Speaker 1>Monday and Tuesday, the fifth and sixth of June. Perfect

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<v Speaker 1>anytime between an am and four pm, just half an

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<v Speaker 1>hour amazing.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, I actually can't. I can't Monday. I could Tuesday,

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<v Speaker 2>but I can't Monday.

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<v Speaker 1>I might be too confusing for poor little lady. Multiple

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<v Speaker 1>new faces in the house.

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<v Speaker 2>She would love me. I do smell of beef brisket,

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<v Speaker 2>so she really enjoy my appearance. But then that would

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<v Speaker 2>confuse her. If I'm coming in, then you're coming into

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<v Speaker 2>the third gay man's coming in too much.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm really confused now because the poor shake app it

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<v Speaker 1>seems to be working, but my message history is gone.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh my god, they've blocked you.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm not kidding, they've blocked you. Like I checked this

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<v Speaker 1>half an hour ago because I wanted the photo up

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<v Speaker 1>on my phone to show you what Ladybug looks like,

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<v Speaker 1>and now I don't have any message.

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<v Speaker 2>Have you been ghosted by Ladybug? Ghosted?

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<v Speaker 1>No, I'll be very up.

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<v Speaker 2>This has devastated I'm really sorry. Wait broke it, aren't

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<v Speaker 2>we not necessarily not necessarily no, but I'm all all likely.

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<v Speaker 1>So look, look, when I click view message in my email,

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<v Speaker 1>they let me know when I've got a new message.

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<v Speaker 1>Of course, they said, are you able to do a

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<v Speaker 1>meet and greet this week? And I said sure Friday?

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<v Speaker 1>When I clicked that four o four page cannot be found.

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<v Speaker 1>Is it glitching or have I been ditched?

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<v Speaker 2>Mitchell, you've been I think you've been dished. Is there

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<v Speaker 2>a phone app you can check?

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<v Speaker 1>I'm trying that too.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh, then you've been ditched. I'm shattered. Hold on, Maybe

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<v Speaker 2>Ladybug has passed and they've pulled blisting.

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<v Speaker 1>That's possible. Wait, look on the phone app, the messages

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<v Speaker 1>doesn't work, neither it's anything else. So maybe it is

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<v Speaker 1>just a fuck up with the website. I could still

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<v Speaker 1>be in the running to be Ladybug's part time babysitter.

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<v Speaker 2>I can't imagine poor Shake's getting enough foot traffic to

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<v Speaker 2>have an on demand tech team.

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<v Speaker 1>So poor traffic.

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<v Speaker 2>Apologies yes, you're right, Portra.

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<v Speaker 1>I love watching the cogs in your brain turn decend

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<v Speaker 1>like what Yeah, I didn't get.

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<v Speaker 2>It and I did get it. All right. Well I'm

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<v Speaker 2>not helping you, but I don't think you'll need help

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<v Speaker 2>because I think you've been fired. Yeah, apologies there, Yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>sorry about that moral conundrum and fixed.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, at least you have an answer.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, you've got your answer.

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<v Speaker 1>But that was my first inquiry in months.

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<v Speaker 2>That says something about your profile. We need to give

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<v Speaker 2>it some work. If that's your first bite in months,

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<v Speaker 2>what are you doing wrong?

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<v Speaker 1>You were just the one accusing Porshake of not having

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<v Speaker 1>that much foot traffic. So poor traffic, poor traffic?

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<v Speaker 2>Thank you? Oh no, well, how.

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<v Speaker 1>Else am I supposed to advertise that I want to

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<v Speaker 1>walk people's dogs?

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<v Speaker 2>Print out a piece of paper, you cut little flat

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<v Speaker 2>things at the bottom, and then you put it on

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<v Speaker 2>a flag pole.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't want to give out my fucking mobile number.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, If you are in the Sydney metropolitan area

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<v Speaker 2>and you need your dog walked, and that's not a euphemism,

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<v Speaker 2>a wolf wolf Mitchell will do it for you, but

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<v Speaker 2>not in the dates that he is in the red

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<v Speaker 2>center because he's busy. Yeah, there you go, transparency open.

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<v Speaker 2>I reckon, you'll get bookings, Mitchell. All you need to

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<v Speaker 2>do is senters a text to what.

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<v Speaker 1>Number over one two seven, two nine two.

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<v Speaker 2>That's all right. Also, if you've got any other animals, Mitchell,

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<v Speaker 2>walk them. You can walk around, but these days, you know,

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<v Speaker 2>in the world.

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<v Speaker 1>I've had experience with guinea pig handling. I can walk

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<v Speaker 1>a guinea peap Yeah.

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<v Speaker 2>He host this show with me every week, so he

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<v Speaker 2>can handle a rodent.

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<v Speaker 1>Yeah, you got the pig bit right.

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<v Speaker 2>All right, Well, good luck, Mitchell. Keep us up to

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<v Speaker 2>date with your new your newfound venture. Is It Just

0:10:15.160 --> 0:10:18.680
<v Speaker 2>Me a podcast by a couple of mitches. Make sure

0:10:18.760 --> 0:10:21.760
<v Speaker 2>you've hit follow on your podcast aff