1 00:00:01,240 --> 00:00:02,520 Speaker 1: Yourself. 2 00:00:02,720 --> 00:00:06,280 Speaker 2: All right, Alistair, Charlie's given us call a call. She's 3 00:00:06,280 --> 00:00:10,280 Speaker 2: got a lot of questions about something her husband has done, 4 00:00:10,840 --> 00:00:15,800 Speaker 2: not keeping his hands to himself. Okay, Charlie, explain what's 5 00:00:15,840 --> 00:00:17,360 Speaker 2: going on. Good morning, Good morning. 6 00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:24,320 Speaker 3: I've chosen to stay in my aking marriage. 7 00:00:24,040 --> 00:00:24,800 Speaker 1: With two kids. 8 00:00:25,040 --> 00:00:25,279 Speaker 4: Yep. 9 00:00:25,520 --> 00:00:30,520 Speaker 3: After that means that my husband has attended a brothel. 10 00:00:30,880 --> 00:00:33,199 Speaker 2: Attended a brothel. Now, how do you know that? 11 00:00:34,560 --> 00:00:38,400 Speaker 3: Well, he brought home an STI and I got him. 12 00:00:39,080 --> 00:00:43,760 Speaker 1: Lord Charlie, Oh wait, so you've so he's told you 13 00:00:43,880 --> 00:00:47,080 Speaker 1: he caught it at a brothel. Are you like confident 14 00:00:47,159 --> 00:00:49,000 Speaker 1: that's all he did? Well? 15 00:00:49,040 --> 00:00:51,879 Speaker 3: He tried to blame me for it. He tried to yes, 16 00:00:53,560 --> 00:00:58,640 Speaker 3: but obviously I've challenged that, and he eventually admitted it 17 00:00:58,840 --> 00:01:02,680 Speaker 3: started off as a job and she hopped on top. 18 00:01:02,800 --> 00:01:07,759 Speaker 4: And I thought, I thought that at brothels they very 19 00:01:07,800 --> 00:01:10,959 Speaker 4: they're very big on practicing safe sex. Yeah, like, who 20 00:01:11,040 --> 00:01:15,120 Speaker 4: is going to a brothel and raw dogging like a 21 00:01:15,160 --> 00:01:17,720 Speaker 4: sex worker with no praer. 22 00:01:18,760 --> 00:01:21,280 Speaker 3: I told him to go back and explain it, and 23 00:01:21,319 --> 00:01:24,039 Speaker 3: they've given me the same speech. I know a lot 24 00:01:24,080 --> 00:01:26,480 Speaker 3: of women in that industry, and I trust that to 25 00:01:26,520 --> 00:01:26,960 Speaker 3: be true. 26 00:01:27,200 --> 00:01:30,000 Speaker 2: Elephant in the room. Your man's going to brothels and 27 00:01:30,040 --> 00:01:30,840 Speaker 2: you're okay with that. 28 00:01:32,240 --> 00:01:36,400 Speaker 3: Well, that's like I'm learning to get through it with 29 00:01:36,800 --> 00:01:40,360 Speaker 3: figuring it out. But the one answer he can't really 30 00:01:40,440 --> 00:01:41,760 Speaker 3: give me is why. 31 00:01:42,000 --> 00:01:44,040 Speaker 4: That's what I was going to ask you, like, why 32 00:01:44,160 --> 00:01:47,600 Speaker 4: is he going? Are you guys being intimate with each other. 33 00:01:47,760 --> 00:01:52,040 Speaker 3: Our sex lives, our social life? Everything was fine and 34 00:01:52,480 --> 00:01:54,560 Speaker 3: the best you can give me as well, I was 35 00:01:54,640 --> 00:01:56,640 Speaker 3: just really drunk. I was with a mate back in 36 00:01:56,680 --> 00:01:59,400 Speaker 3: the day, and you know, obviously he thought he could 37 00:01:59,400 --> 00:01:59,960 Speaker 3: get away with. 38 00:02:00,360 --> 00:02:02,480 Speaker 2: Yeah, do you consider it cheating? 39 00:02:02,800 --> 00:02:03,760 Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely. 40 00:02:04,080 --> 00:02:06,480 Speaker 1: Well can I tell you from a man perspective in 41 00:02:06,680 --> 00:02:10,960 Speaker 1: my key see if you agree, we don't consider it 42 00:02:11,160 --> 00:02:13,160 Speaker 1: cheating rostitute? 43 00:02:13,639 --> 00:02:15,200 Speaker 2: Well, no, it's. 44 00:02:15,080 --> 00:02:17,720 Speaker 1: Not in our mind like I'm gonna yeah, I'm gonna 45 00:02:17,800 --> 00:02:21,880 Speaker 1: cheat or I have cheated, but I know it's wrong. Yeah, 46 00:02:21,919 --> 00:02:24,440 Speaker 1: you still know it's wrong. It's it can be even 47 00:02:24,600 --> 00:02:27,880 Speaker 1: like it's it's naughty and wrong, like that's an attractive 48 00:02:28,120 --> 00:02:30,120 Speaker 1: part of it. But you know, like you know you're 49 00:02:30,160 --> 00:02:32,919 Speaker 1: gonna upset the other person, so you don't do it. 50 00:02:33,560 --> 00:02:37,480 Speaker 1: But he would still I would imagine love you the same, 51 00:02:37,560 --> 00:02:40,080 Speaker 1: And there's there wouldn't be any issues in terms of 52 00:02:40,120 --> 00:02:40,920 Speaker 1: his feelings. 53 00:02:41,320 --> 00:02:45,320 Speaker 4: Yeah, so you're you you're saying, because it's a paid thing, 54 00:02:45,760 --> 00:02:49,359 Speaker 4: something that he goes and pays for. He's completely compartmentalized 55 00:02:49,400 --> 00:02:51,400 Speaker 4: and this is just the actor. 56 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:53,799 Speaker 1: I would say, I don't know him, but yeah, and. 57 00:02:53,760 --> 00:02:57,480 Speaker 4: There's no feelings there, but like, it's still the ultimate betrayal. 58 00:02:57,600 --> 00:03:00,720 Speaker 4: Like sex is the most personal thing that you share 59 00:03:00,800 --> 00:03:03,520 Speaker 4: with your partner. Whether you're paying for it or not, 60 00:03:03,800 --> 00:03:06,359 Speaker 4: you are still betraying her trust. 61 00:03:06,520 --> 00:03:09,080 Speaker 2: But Charlie, surely there's a lot of people that are 62 00:03:09,080 --> 00:03:10,000 Speaker 2: telling you to leave him. 63 00:03:10,280 --> 00:03:11,880 Speaker 5: Yeah. 64 00:03:12,080 --> 00:03:15,799 Speaker 3: We've tried then to keep it between the two of us, 65 00:03:15,880 --> 00:03:20,440 Speaker 3: as hard as it's been. Yeah, because I knew before 66 00:03:20,480 --> 00:03:25,519 Speaker 3: we started dating that that's what he did, and that's 67 00:03:25,520 --> 00:03:28,320 Speaker 3: where he got his you know, two minutes of glory from. 68 00:03:29,280 --> 00:03:31,840 Speaker 3: He never dated a girl or anything, so you know. 69 00:03:31,919 --> 00:03:34,760 Speaker 4: Oh, so you're saying, before you guys started, like before 70 00:03:34,760 --> 00:03:37,600 Speaker 4: you guys hooked up, he used to visit Brothels back then. 71 00:03:38,760 --> 00:03:41,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, okay, so you always knew about it. But 72 00:03:41,320 --> 00:03:44,400 Speaker 1: when what when you got married, you said no more Brothels. 73 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:48,120 Speaker 4: Well, yeah, he didn't have to get that of the 74 00:03:48,320 --> 00:03:50,840 Speaker 4: girl he had Charlie, is he a sex addict? 75 00:03:51,400 --> 00:03:54,280 Speaker 3: Well, I try to query that. It doesn't seem like it. 76 00:03:54,280 --> 00:03:55,840 Speaker 3: It just seems like a bad decision. 77 00:03:56,520 --> 00:03:57,920 Speaker 2: What happens if he does it again? 78 00:03:58,040 --> 00:03:59,760 Speaker 4: Charlie, Yeah, that's what I was going to say. Do 79 00:03:59,800 --> 00:04:02,320 Speaker 4: you think he's going to stop visiting these places? 80 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:05,800 Speaker 3: Yeah, I'd like to think so. And that's the thing 81 00:04:06,040 --> 00:04:07,360 Speaker 3: you have to rebuild trust. 82 00:04:07,280 --> 00:04:11,480 Speaker 1: Right, Yeah? Absolutely, God he clearly I've never been to 83 00:04:11,560 --> 00:04:16,640 Speaker 1: a brothel. Yeah, I like Mikey. 84 00:04:15,680 --> 00:04:19,120 Speaker 2: Thanks, you know, And You'll think I'm just saying it 85 00:04:19,120 --> 00:04:22,320 Speaker 2: because I'm live on air. I am categorically never been 86 00:04:22,360 --> 00:04:22,760 Speaker 2: to a block. 87 00:04:22,880 --> 00:04:24,320 Speaker 1: Yeah, it doesn't do it for me. 88 00:04:24,400 --> 00:04:28,400 Speaker 2: The whole thing is, yeah, the like chasing to try 89 00:04:28,400 --> 00:04:32,159 Speaker 2: and get someone, and you that whereas why I just 90 00:04:32,200 --> 00:04:34,480 Speaker 2: walk in here's two hundred dollars or whatever it is. 91 00:04:34,600 --> 00:04:36,760 Speaker 4: Knowing that like three other dudes have been in there. 92 00:04:38,320 --> 00:04:41,719 Speaker 2: It's the pain. It's just so transactional. There's no romance. 93 00:04:41,960 --> 00:04:43,760 Speaker 2: I want to make love, you know, I want to 94 00:04:43,800 --> 00:04:44,479 Speaker 2: look in your eyes. 95 00:04:45,600 --> 00:04:49,000 Speaker 1: Yeah, sex isn't Sex isn't that important to me to 96 00:04:49,040 --> 00:04:52,720 Speaker 1: be paying like hundreds of dollars to random And I wouldn't. 97 00:04:52,760 --> 00:04:53,680 Speaker 1: I would never do it. 98 00:04:53,760 --> 00:04:56,719 Speaker 2: Well, Charlie, where we're going to see what people think? 99 00:04:56,800 --> 00:04:58,000 Speaker 5: Okay, No, I. 100 00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:01,400 Speaker 3: Appreciate that if it's just as simple, I paid for 101 00:05:01,800 --> 00:05:05,640 Speaker 3: I got my five minutes and that's it. I didn't 102 00:05:05,640 --> 00:05:08,520 Speaker 3: mean anything, which I do believe that part is that 103 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:09,520 Speaker 3: as fall as matter. 104 00:05:10,040 --> 00:05:12,280 Speaker 2: Oh, well, we'll see what everyone thinks. 105 00:05:12,320 --> 00:05:12,599 Speaker 5: Okay. 106 00:05:12,680 --> 00:05:17,040 Speaker 2: Thirteen one six five. Do you have any advice for 107 00:05:17,520 --> 00:05:22,479 Speaker 2: Charlie and a man who's caught an STI at a brothel? Thirteen? 108 00:05:24,200 --> 00:05:27,200 Speaker 2: I bet you do. We'll take your calls next here 109 00:05:27,480 --> 00:05:35,440 Speaker 2: on Kiss one Direction. Now, yeah, we're doing some therapy 110 00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:38,800 Speaker 2: for our listener Charlie who's called in. You'll hear the 111 00:05:39,000 --> 00:05:41,480 Speaker 2: whole thing if you missed it on the Kiss Breakfast 112 00:05:41,480 --> 00:05:44,239 Speaker 2: podcast later on. But in a nutshell. 113 00:05:44,600 --> 00:05:49,320 Speaker 4: In a nutshell, Charlie's obviously called in. She's basically discovered 114 00:05:49,320 --> 00:05:53,680 Speaker 4: that her husband has been visiting brothels and. 115 00:05:54,040 --> 00:05:57,239 Speaker 1: An SDI and he's blaming it on the brothel. 116 00:05:57,680 --> 00:06:00,520 Speaker 4: And even that and then tried to blame her for 117 00:06:00,600 --> 00:06:05,839 Speaker 4: it like that gas lighting mother anyway, and just the 118 00:06:05,880 --> 00:06:10,680 Speaker 4: fact even saying that out loud. Don't sex workers constantly 119 00:06:10,680 --> 00:06:13,200 Speaker 4: get tested like that? We have to because of the 120 00:06:13,240 --> 00:06:16,120 Speaker 4: industry that they're in, they would be constantly getting tested 121 00:06:16,120 --> 00:06:19,599 Speaker 4: for SDIS well, as well as always wearing a rubber. 122 00:06:19,480 --> 00:06:22,039 Speaker 1: Because the first thing he's done when when she caught 123 00:06:22,080 --> 00:06:24,680 Speaker 1: him out, was saying, oh, you must have cheated and 124 00:06:24,800 --> 00:06:29,000 Speaker 1: caught the SDI. Then Eddie came back down to Okay, 125 00:06:29,080 --> 00:06:31,680 Speaker 1: I went to a brothel, like, is he still lying? 126 00:06:32,200 --> 00:06:35,400 Speaker 4: Did probably just cheating with other girls. 127 00:06:35,600 --> 00:06:38,000 Speaker 2: Okay. Megan's just called in to back you up on that. 128 00:06:38,000 --> 00:06:39,960 Speaker 2: Thirteen one oh sixty five if you want to comment. 129 00:06:40,000 --> 00:06:42,600 Speaker 2: By the way, Megan, you wanted to back o Meghan. 130 00:06:44,040 --> 00:06:46,920 Speaker 3: Yeah, Hi, guys, I can't be up to further roule 131 00:06:46,960 --> 00:06:49,200 Speaker 3: out whether he really went to brothel or not. 132 00:06:49,320 --> 00:06:53,320 Speaker 2: Yeah, it doesn't sound like yeah, yeah, you're saying that 133 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:55,560 Speaker 2: every sex worker would do save. 134 00:06:55,480 --> 00:06:58,080 Speaker 4: Sex well, they practice safe sex and they would also 135 00:06:58,120 --> 00:07:02,080 Speaker 4: be constantly getting tested otherwise they'd just be spreading sdis everywhere. 136 00:07:02,120 --> 00:07:04,080 Speaker 4: So I'll call on BS. 137 00:07:04,160 --> 00:07:06,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, denise your opinion. 138 00:07:06,240 --> 00:07:09,880 Speaker 6: Yes, I fully agree. The first thing I heard out 139 00:07:09,920 --> 00:07:13,760 Speaker 6: of Charlie's mouth was the fact that he immediately said 140 00:07:14,040 --> 00:07:16,440 Speaker 6: she has the SDIS. He was trying to bring her 141 00:07:16,520 --> 00:07:19,640 Speaker 6: down to his level of the seat. Yep, and it's 142 00:07:19,680 --> 00:07:22,920 Speaker 6: not right doing that. So the deceit is the issue 143 00:07:22,960 --> 00:07:27,840 Speaker 6: the trust. Without trust, there's no relationship. She's constantly going 144 00:07:27,840 --> 00:07:30,200 Speaker 6: to be thinking if he's late, if he's here, if. 145 00:07:30,080 --> 00:07:30,880 Speaker 5: He's where is he? 146 00:07:31,320 --> 00:07:31,560 Speaker 3: Yeah? 147 00:07:31,640 --> 00:07:34,600 Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean the fact that she said during our 148 00:07:34,600 --> 00:07:36,920 Speaker 2: discussion with her, and please have a listen back on 149 00:07:36,920 --> 00:07:38,920 Speaker 2: the Kiss Breakfast podcast because you've got to hear the 150 00:07:38,920 --> 00:07:41,640 Speaker 2: whole thing. But she is basically saying, oh, he goes 151 00:07:41,680 --> 00:07:44,760 Speaker 2: to prostitutes, but we're going to be okayble well. 152 00:07:44,800 --> 00:07:47,360 Speaker 4: And even the fact that you said, you know, are 153 00:07:47,440 --> 00:07:50,120 Speaker 4: people telling you to leave him? She said, oh, no, 154 00:07:50,240 --> 00:07:53,200 Speaker 4: we're keeping it just between us. That would be him 155 00:07:53,320 --> 00:07:57,720 Speaker 4: manipulating the whole narrative, being like, let's keep this, you know, 156 00:07:57,920 --> 00:08:00,560 Speaker 4: just between the two of us, because that guy knows 157 00:08:00,760 --> 00:08:04,080 Speaker 4: that if Charlie tells anything of the story that she's 158 00:08:04,080 --> 00:08:06,040 Speaker 4: told us to her girlfriends, everyone's going to be like, 159 00:08:06,320 --> 00:08:07,040 Speaker 4: get out of there. 160 00:08:07,160 --> 00:08:10,280 Speaker 2: Yeah, Emma, Hi, Emma, what do you think? Hi? 161 00:08:10,960 --> 00:08:13,840 Speaker 7: I don't agree with Charlie at all. I think that 162 00:08:13,960 --> 00:08:16,280 Speaker 7: it's probably not just sex, and for him to seek 163 00:08:16,320 --> 00:08:19,480 Speaker 7: out another person is completely wrong, and to keep it 164 00:08:19,560 --> 00:08:21,520 Speaker 7: quiet as well, it just means that he'll probably do 165 00:08:21,560 --> 00:08:21,880 Speaker 7: it again. 166 00:08:22,080 --> 00:08:24,920 Speaker 2: Yeah, So leave you're everyone that's called in it saying 167 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:27,720 Speaker 2: Charlie's got to believe him. No that I believe him, 168 00:08:27,760 --> 00:08:30,880 Speaker 2: and they've got to leave. Okay, Marie, Hi, Maria, Hey, Maria. 169 00:08:31,360 --> 00:08:34,480 Speaker 3: Hello, guys. I so agree. If he's done it once, 170 00:08:34,600 --> 00:08:38,120 Speaker 3: it might happen again out of brothel or out of a. 171 00:08:38,000 --> 00:08:41,000 Speaker 4: Bruthel and he only is caught out because of his 172 00:08:41,160 --> 00:08:43,560 Speaker 4: STI yeah, that's it. 173 00:08:43,640 --> 00:08:44,160 Speaker 2: And who knows. 174 00:08:44,760 --> 00:08:45,360 Speaker 3: Charlie needs to. 175 00:08:46,840 --> 00:08:50,880 Speaker 4: Charlie needs to one million percent leave that relationship. There 176 00:08:50,920 --> 00:08:53,320 Speaker 4: is not a sceric of doubt in my mind that 177 00:08:53,440 --> 00:08:55,440 Speaker 4: she will be far better off without him. 178 00:08:55,559 --> 00:08:57,560 Speaker 2: Yeah. And I know you are, like, you know, expecting 179 00:08:57,559 --> 00:08:59,280 Speaker 2: me to be the typical dude or whatever, But if 180 00:08:59,320 --> 00:09:03,720 Speaker 2: your man is being prostitutes, it's completely reasonable to leave 181 00:09:03,760 --> 00:09:05,640 Speaker 2: the man, of course. And you know what can I 182 00:09:05,640 --> 00:09:09,480 Speaker 2: tell you? Yeah, there's two kinds of guys, brothel guys 183 00:09:09,640 --> 00:09:12,280 Speaker 2: and non brothel guys, and you'll never know which one 184 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:15,640 Speaker 2: your man is just leaving you with that thought. 185 00:09:16,120 --> 00:09:19,400 Speaker 4: Great, are you a non brothel guy? 186 00:09:19,559 --> 00:09:21,040 Speaker 2: I said it when we were talking to Charlie. I 187 00:09:21,240 --> 00:09:25,319 Speaker 2: am a non I've never been to one who's a brother. 188 00:09:25,160 --> 00:09:29,480 Speaker 1: Guy would say that. Yeah, every guy. 189 00:09:29,280 --> 00:09:30,640 Speaker 4: Who's an, you are right. 190 00:09:30,679 --> 00:09:33,000 Speaker 2: Every one. I mean, no guy's going to admit apart. 191 00:09:32,760 --> 00:09:34,760 Speaker 1: From Charlie's I'm a beathel guy. 192 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:36,719 Speaker 2: That's fair. But I know the truth and that's all 193 00:09:36,720 --> 00:09:37,200 Speaker 2: that matters. 194 00:09:37,520 --> 00:09:41,640 Speaker 1: What percentage of your friends guys. 195 00:09:41,880 --> 00:09:47,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, let's say I had ten friends, Yeah, I reckon 196 00:09:47,880 --> 00:09:52,000 Speaker 2: like four out of ten. Yeah, okay, and their names 197 00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:57,400 Speaker 2: are all my female friends that are married. So I'm 198 00:09:57,440 --> 00:09:58,880 Speaker 2: listening right now, I can't. 199 00:09:59,040 --> 00:10:00,400 Speaker 1: My god just gets worse. 200 00:10:00,640 --> 00:10:05,439 Speaker 2: Oh, John, Yeah, Hey John, Hey, Hey man, Am I right? 201 00:10:05,520 --> 00:10:07,520 Speaker 2: You're like you're either a propyl guy or you're not. 202 00:10:08,720 --> 00:10:09,800 Speaker 5: Yeah, one hundred and ten percent. 203 00:10:10,280 --> 00:10:10,599 Speaker 6: I'm not. 204 00:10:11,200 --> 00:10:14,320 Speaker 5: I'm I don't have anything against it, but personally I'm not. 205 00:10:14,480 --> 00:10:17,760 Speaker 5: I just don't feel like paying for it. Yeah, is 206 00:10:17,840 --> 00:10:20,680 Speaker 5: the same thing as kind of hurting it maybe or 207 00:10:20,800 --> 00:10:23,240 Speaker 5: the person actually wanting to do it with you. But 208 00:10:23,360 --> 00:10:26,400 Speaker 5: I can say for a fact that all sex workers, 209 00:10:26,480 --> 00:10:30,000 Speaker 5: especially in Victoria anyway, are constantly tested. They have to 210 00:10:30,240 --> 00:10:32,520 Speaker 5: go proof of that testing to be able to work. 211 00:10:32,679 --> 00:10:32,880 Speaker 2: Yep. 212 00:10:33,920 --> 00:10:37,959 Speaker 5: And it's extremely, extremely unlikely that he caught it off 213 00:10:38,040 --> 00:10:41,400 Speaker 5: a for sex worker. Yes, I think a lot of 214 00:10:41,480 --> 00:10:46,199 Speaker 5: dudes do it. Things can get stale in relationships. I 215 00:10:46,240 --> 00:10:49,680 Speaker 5: am a firm believer. It is a transactual thing. It's 216 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:53,240 Speaker 5: not a thing that you do on a romantic basis 217 00:10:53,360 --> 00:10:55,839 Speaker 5: or because you may have deep feelings for that person. 218 00:10:55,920 --> 00:10:59,240 Speaker 5: He is fily transactional, and I think it's a lot 219 00:10:59,320 --> 00:11:03,760 Speaker 5: lot different to cheating denation. 220 00:11:04,240 --> 00:11:07,880 Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, but from what we hear, he probably is 221 00:11:07,920 --> 00:11:10,040 Speaker 2: actually cheating and not even going to Bros. 222 00:11:10,080 --> 00:11:10,440 Speaker 4: Correct. 223 00:11:10,920 --> 00:11:12,800 Speaker 2: Okay, we'll have a good weekend, Charlie.