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Speaker 1: Likes you nine our voices.

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Speaker 2: Quick heads up. This podcast can sometimes get a bit

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Speaker 2: rough on bros and cons. We talk about real life

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Speaker 2: and we're committed to having open conversations with no filter.

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Speaker 2: Some experiences and tastes can be challenging to digest, So

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Speaker 2: if you're easily reddled, you probably want to see this

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Speaker 2: one out. Listener. Discretion is advised. Support is always available.

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Speaker 2: You can contact Lifeline on thirteen eleven fourteen or thirteen

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Speaker 2: young on one Thing nine two seven six for Aboriginal

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Speaker 2: or toy straight Islanders. All right, let's get it, but was.

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Speaker 1: It was it true that you were part of maybe

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Speaker 1: the six seven sixty seventh gang or was there any

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Speaker 1: affiliation between you and gangs?

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Speaker 2: And it feels in a void that you know that

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Speaker 2: you've never had before, you know, would you say that?

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Speaker 3: That's when I looked at it was only like black

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Speaker 3: plastic bags, and I was like, bro, what the heck?

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Speaker 3: And I opened it up and I've seen like first

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Speaker 3: thing I've seen was my my Piers four and stuff

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Speaker 3: like that, and I was like, baby, I'm like a

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Speaker 3: part of me is that he's like embarrassal, like what's happened?

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Speaker 3: You know? And man, I remember our freak. I remember

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Speaker 3: going back to like going back to and being like

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Speaker 3: arguing with god Ma. I was like, man, like you saved.

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Speaker 3: I say that because it's easier for me just to

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Speaker 3: get you wasted that and then I don't have to

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Speaker 3: listen to you, like talking about what you're going real stuff. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: then you'll be you'll be wasted. Then you'll you'll start

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Speaker 3: like having fun and stuff out. They will be like, yeah,

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Speaker 3: well we'll go stoopers and that bro. We'll go out there,

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Speaker 3: go have a quay and then.

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Speaker 1: Welcome back, ladies and gentlemen. Is that my camera there? Sorry,

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Speaker 1: it's your host Maley come here with the boys from

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Speaker 1: Guardia Day Legs and we've got a special guest today.

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Speaker 1: I'm very excited for this one because I'm I'm mis

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Speaker 1: guaranteed we came from similar upbringings, you know, with the

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Speaker 1: postcode wards and or even this gang affiliation in general,

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Speaker 1: and it's so exciting for me. It goes today. I

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Speaker 1: introduced to you guys Anny Legs.

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Speaker 2: Let's go.

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Speaker 1: Just before we get started, I've gotta do our oxes

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Speaker 1: shred cans. We're gonna quickly taste it that the boys

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Speaker 1: get comforted and tell us how you feel, j Lex.

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Speaker 2: I can I can I try that one? I actually

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Speaker 2: haven't tried that one. This I actually don't like that flame.

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Speaker 3: Have you seen these before? I've seen I've seen the

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Speaker 3: green one, O that one there, yeah, this one? Oh yeah, boys.

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Speaker 2: Away sorry, is any tissue? I think I can got

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Speaker 2: a bit excited. What freeze mine tastes exactly like what

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Speaker 2: just happenedding.

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Speaker 3: Anyway?

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Speaker 1: Is this cut cuts to the chase where he was

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Speaker 1: the brother of Anny Lex Anny A lot has been

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Speaker 1: happening over the media. Excited. I'm thankful that you come

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Speaker 1: to join us on this episode. Listen for the audience.

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Speaker 1: Maybe maybe we could just start by taking it back

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Speaker 1: when you were a child. I did say you came

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Speaker 1: from this similar cloth as us. There was I was

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Speaker 1: locked up at the time. But was it was it

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Speaker 1: true that you were part of maybe the six seven

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Speaker 1: six seventh gang or was there any affiliation between you

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Speaker 1: and gangs at I think with.

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Speaker 3: The six seventy it was. I wasn't like I wasn't

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Speaker 3: affiliating it, but I was just more just growing up

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Speaker 3: in the area. So when it took off, I was

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Speaker 3: just sort of like I guess a bad wagon brade

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Speaker 3: just like started throwing up the signs and stuff. But

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Speaker 3: I think for me it was just being proud from

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Speaker 3: being from the inside and then saw hundred when that

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Speaker 3: that all that area stuff kicked off, well I was

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Speaker 3: just like I was just I was just a proud

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Speaker 3: proud to be from the inside, bro. Yeah, and being

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Speaker 3: proud at that time where everything kicked off is just

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Speaker 3: like all right, it doesn't matter. You're in there now,

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Speaker 3: you know what I mean, Like, yeah, sort of just

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Speaker 3: got through in the deep end. But yeah, I love

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Speaker 3: I love being from de inside, men, I love being

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Speaker 3: from the sides.

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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 3: It's a place where I grew up there, it's a

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Speaker 3: place where my parents first bought their house, men, and

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Speaker 3: we all lived together. Man, there's a lot of memories there. Men.

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Speaker 3: We've been there since twenty fifteen, man, so just twenty

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Speaker 3: years nearly twenty years, man, twenty years. Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Well so it's like pretty much home. And I guess

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Speaker 1: that's as similar to us. Like a lot of the times,

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Speaker 1: it was just our pride of like where we come from.

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Speaker 1: It wasn't really like there was no organized gangs at

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Speaker 1: the time. You know, a lot of boys were just

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Speaker 1: getting involved.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Would you say is that it was something that a

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Speaker 1: lot of probably innocent people were getting involved in because

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Speaker 1: of just being proud of it.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, that's right, Yeah, I think And that's I

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Speaker 3: think that's where I sort of got mixed up in

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Speaker 3: there because I obviously growing up there, so I had

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Speaker 3: a lot of frenzy doing to man man just but

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Speaker 3: then they were the ones that were caught up in there.

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Speaker 3: So obviously like you know, going up, He's like, hey ducks, man,

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Speaker 3: I got your back. You know, you go down, but

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Speaker 3: we'll go down. Yeah, it was just just being a follower.

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Speaker 2: Bro.

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Speaker 3: I think that's a you know, it's it's a big thing,

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Speaker 3: like immediate now by looking back now at it, I

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Speaker 3: was like, it's just being I was just being a follower.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, shout out to the mandem in sixty seven. But bro,

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Speaker 2: you know a lot of a lot of good boys

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Speaker 2: in uh doing so. I don't know how it is now,

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Speaker 2: but I I know a lot of a lot of

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Speaker 2: my family members from the Mama for Old Church started

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Speaker 2: moving out towards do inside. A lot of Tongueans and

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Speaker 2: that over there, now don.

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Speaker 3: He now now there is bro, Now there is when

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Speaker 3: we when we first meet, there was a lot of

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Speaker 3: the coury boys, men boys up there. Men and only

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Speaker 3: just recently Bro that Yeah, there's a lot of tongues

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Speaker 3: there now men, and Islanders is also winning up.

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Speaker 2: Bro, you know what you know what's mad? One thing

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Speaker 2: you just said is that it's obviously you guys have

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Speaker 2: been there for more than two decades twenty years, but

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Speaker 2: your parents bought a house there. Now, I feel like

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Speaker 2: because we've been repping out here as we're growing up, but.

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Speaker 3: My mom's more for six Oh.

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Speaker 2: Man, if I was the end of the kids wrapping

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Speaker 2: up the area because I was like, hey, do you

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Speaker 2: own a house in that area? That's actually that's mad

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Speaker 2: that your parents invested into a property, because I feel

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Speaker 2: like it's not it's not as common as i'd like

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Speaker 2: it to be Island, the parents investing in pity and stuff.

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Speaker 2: I know my parents they didn't get that. They didn't

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Speaker 2: get that opportunity and blessing to be able to to

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Speaker 2: finance a house. Do you think that that's something more

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Speaker 2: our people should be looking into, Like.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, definitely, man, definitely, Bro, there's a I think our people, men,

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Speaker 3: we sort of just depend on our parents rather than

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Speaker 3: stepping out ourselves, you know, and try to be more

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Speaker 3: of a blessing to the next generation, you know what

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Speaker 3: I mean, we sort of get comfortable and just hang around.

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Speaker 3: And I'm just speaking from experience because I've you know,

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Speaker 3: I've sort of like been in that place and even

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Speaker 3: sometimes I still depend on my parents for certain things,

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Speaker 3: you know what I mean. But we gotta we gotta

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Speaker 3: sort of step out of that that placement, man. And

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Speaker 3: you know, I think once you once you step out

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Speaker 3: of that place of comfortability, that's when you start to

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Speaker 3: grow as a person and and and start doing doing

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Speaker 3: stuff to be able to be a blessing to others.

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Speaker 3: Men they just they just you know, withdraw men's time

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Speaker 3: to yeah, yeah, time to you know, put in as well. Man,

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Speaker 3: you know.

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Speaker 1: So, yeah, I just wanted to ask so just to

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Speaker 1: give you the audience a bit more insight on like

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Speaker 1: your your history, because there was there. I do feel

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Speaker 1: like there was some truth behind, you know, the influence

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Speaker 1: that the gangs were having on the area. Was there

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Speaker 1: anything that was like drawing you towards becoming part of

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Speaker 1: that lifestyle before you yeah, fit the switch and you're like, nah,

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Speaker 1: someone I think for me, it was just the like

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Speaker 1: having the boys around, men, you know, and the brotherhood.

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Speaker 3: You're just the brotherhood. And man I grew I grew

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Speaker 3: up in a good home, broy my parents and men,

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Speaker 3: the best parents I can ever ask for men growing

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Speaker 3: up home, They've done everything for me. But you know,

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Speaker 3: it's just pride for brand. We want more, you know

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Speaker 3: what I mean, and try to Then grew up and

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Speaker 3: then hanging around the boys and that they sort of

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Speaker 3: give you like that. I want to say, the love

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Speaker 3: that your parents, like that you get from your parents,

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Speaker 3: but sort of like because how we're going up, we

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Speaker 3: hard to open up to our parents when we had

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Speaker 3: boys around. There's certain things that you speak to the

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Speaker 3: boys about that you can't speak to your parents about,

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Speaker 3: you know, just finding that the sort of like when

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Speaker 3: I when I open up to them about certain things,

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Speaker 3: it's sort of made that bond a little bit closer.

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Speaker 3: So then whenever whenever they got involved in stuff, I

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Speaker 3: just yep, that's me, that's you know, I just got dragged.

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Speaker 3: I want to say dragged to it, but I just

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Speaker 3: wanted to to be there for them, you know what

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Speaker 3: I mean, and let them know that I'm here as well.

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Speaker 3: You know, the same way that they were there for

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Speaker 3: me when I opened up to them, you know.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think they mentioned that before. It was, uh,

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Speaker 1: they reckon, they reckon. For every man needs to needs

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Speaker 1: his own family, and which is the family he was

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Speaker 1: brought into obviously his parents, and every man also needs

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Speaker 1: a family of his own. Look, the family is creating

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Speaker 1: and a lot of men need that brotherhood family. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and would you say that that's probably what that what

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Speaker 1: that was, You're trying to find that brotherhood.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, also I just realized you got a lot

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Speaker 1: of brothers as well.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I got I've got I've got to two other brothers. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: so the oldest one and the other one. Man, it's

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Speaker 3: likely the one that I worked with both the other clown. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I love them to death. Man, And I got to

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Speaker 3: two sisters, so.

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Speaker 2: He's all close in age.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, just me and my younger sister were oh yeah,

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Speaker 3: eight years apart.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Oh, with your brothers as well, Wolf, My brothers were like, like,

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Speaker 3: so my oldest brother and my sister the second oldest,

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Speaker 3: they're they're only they're like a same they're basically like

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Speaker 3: a couple of months apart. And then my brother is uh,

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Speaker 3: the one that I work with. He's me and him

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Speaker 3: were we're only four years apart, three years apart. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: and then my other sister were about seven seven years apart.

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Speaker 3: So yeah, yeah, pretty pretty close.

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Speaker 2: Man.

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Speaker 1: Do you feel like if I'm not that same sort

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Speaker 1: of brotherhood like between you and your blood brothers that

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Speaker 1: the boys filling with the boys before?

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Speaker 3: Like I'll say, in certain aspects like like being there

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Speaker 3: for each other, like sort of similar to the boys

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Speaker 3: too by Wolf, like being vulnerable and stuff like that,

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Speaker 3: it's sort of different. Like me and my best mate, Bro,

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Speaker 3: I'm more vulnerable with him than my like my blood brothers.

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Speaker 3: Like there's certain things that it's just like, yeah, I

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Speaker 3: don't know how to say it, Like it's just a

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Speaker 3: sort of sort of hard to open up. But we

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Speaker 3: do have our moments, you know what I mean. We

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Speaker 3: do have our moments, and well most of them will

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Speaker 3: mostly when we like you know, you get on the

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Speaker 3: piece of stuff, yeah, wake up the next day, like

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Speaker 3: stepping that up again. Yeah, there's certain certain certain parts

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Speaker 3: or certain aspects that make make me and my blood

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Speaker 3: brothers and that similar.

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Speaker 2: Bro. You know what, I actually I think there's a

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Speaker 2: special there's a special thing that that every man has

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Speaker 2: when when another another man of his own piece, like

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Speaker 2: another man of his own stature, congratulates him or appreciates him,

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Speaker 2: there's something special. But especially in our culture, and I'm

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Speaker 2: gonna go out on a limit say this, and not

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Speaker 2: a lot of us tongue ins or islanders get appreciated

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Speaker 2: from our father's. They do appreciate us, but it doesn't

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Speaker 2: come out very verbally, nowhere near as much so then

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Speaker 2: when the boys, when you have boys out there, even

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Speaker 2: if you do something stupid, like let's say you knock

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Speaker 2: out someone at a party, but then when the boys

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Speaker 2: are cheering, you're like lad fucking soldier, you know, sick.

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Speaker 2: These are words are your father never says to you.

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Speaker 2: And it feels in a void that you know that

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Speaker 2: you've never had before. You know, would you say that

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Speaker 2: that's it? Because I noticed, that's that's what. That's why

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Speaker 2: I used to always like being around the boys. And

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Speaker 2: I used to always like like doing things in front

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Speaker 2: of the boys and and showing who I was as

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Speaker 2: a man, like my manhood. Because my father never saw

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Speaker 2: that in me. You know, maybe he did, but he

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Speaker 2: just wasn't really verbal about it. You know, and I

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Speaker 2: feel like every man needs to they need to hear that.

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Speaker 2: They need to hear that. I don't know what it

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Speaker 2: is and just being a spinner let or is he

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Speaker 2: is this too?

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Speaker 3: Story? Lad? Yeah, you're right.

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Speaker 1: Every every man needs that, like you know, confirmation from Yeah,

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Speaker 1: because that's that's what it is. Confirmation the Bible or

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Speaker 1: the Bible encourages us iron shoppings, irons, Uh huh, it's

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Speaker 1: already theres or you know, they told that it does

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Speaker 1: whatever it does, it does wonder. Yeah, so I do.

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Speaker 1: I do remember fast forward a little bit. I remember

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Speaker 1: seeing you on social media. You came out, yeah, and

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Speaker 1: you spoke about it. You you were actually being vulnerable.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: For you to do that at that time was that

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Speaker 1: mission for any god? Because at the in the heat

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Speaker 1: of the moment when everything was popping off, everyone was

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Speaker 1: bound to show their dominator and show how strong they

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Speaker 1: are all of a sudden, and you came out speaking

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Speaker 1: against it. Yeah, can you talk us and talk to

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Speaker 1: us about that, your vulnerability? How what was going for

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Speaker 1: your head? Maybe that moment you.

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Speaker 2: Just pushed you to do.

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Speaker 3: It, speak out against to be honest with it. Was

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Speaker 3: It was easy for me to just like change for me, bro,

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Speaker 3: Like I wasn't I wanted because like I said before,

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Speaker 3: I wasn't really I wasn't really in it. Yeah, more

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Speaker 3: just hovering around my mates and they're just making sure

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Speaker 3: that I'm there to comfort them or whenever they get

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Speaker 3: into stuff made, I'm there. You know better we all

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Speaker 3: go down there and you know, you guys go down,

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Speaker 3: they come back and you know what I mean. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: But for me, it was just it was once I

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Speaker 3: got saved, bro, once I got saved men and gave

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Speaker 3: my love to Christ, Bro, That's when it was. It

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Speaker 3: was just so easy after that, man, you know, just

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Speaker 3: going through that that transformation stage and and knowing knowing

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Speaker 3: that what I was doing did it online with what

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Speaker 3: God had planned for me, you know, and and even

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Speaker 3: stuff like that I was doing back there, just the

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Speaker 3: drinking their drugs and all that stuff men, and going

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Speaker 3: there like even there cussing and all that of stuff. Man.

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Speaker 3: That's something even now that I'm still trying to deal with,

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Speaker 3: you know, Like yeah, like it's it's hard, but it's hard,

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Speaker 3: you know. But every day I wake up, man, and

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Speaker 3: the only thing you can do is do your best. Man.

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Speaker 3: You you you can't be perfect, but we can be better,

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Speaker 3: you know what I mean. But just the one that

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Speaker 3: is perfect, and that's Jesus Christ, you know what I mean.

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Speaker 3: So but for me, yes, So I just went away

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Speaker 3: from your Yeah, it was it was It was easy

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Speaker 3: meant to walk away from me. I think the hardest

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Speaker 3: one was I don't I don't say it was easy

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Speaker 3: to It was easy to walk away from that life,

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Speaker 3: but it was hard to walk away from my friends

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Speaker 3: and that, you know, yeah, stage man, And I think

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Speaker 3: just finding comfort in you know, who God is in

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Speaker 3: my life or made it a lot lot easier to

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Speaker 3: walk away from it. And just trusting God gave me

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Speaker 3: the opportunity to be able to find the words He

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Speaker 3: says to them. You know, they're like, Amen, I'm going

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Speaker 3: this way. You know, I still love you, I'm still

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Speaker 3: here for you, but there's certain things that I can't

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Speaker 3: participate in. You know, that's gonna strain me away from

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Speaker 3: from from my faith, you know. And it was it

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Speaker 3: was good, man, It was, it was good. But I

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Speaker 3: also had his challenges, you know what I mean. Once

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Speaker 3: I got saved, man, I remember the following week, it

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Speaker 3: was my my best mates. His engagement have so he's

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Speaker 3: so he's he's I don't know if you I'm bullying that.

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Speaker 3: So he's married to to bullying that. Oh yeah, so

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Speaker 3: he's married to the sister of Mama. Sorry engaged. So

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Speaker 3: they got engaged like a week a week after I

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Speaker 3: got save man. And then like already, like when I

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Speaker 3: gave my life, I knew there was certain things that

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Speaker 3: had to change. And I was like the drinking and

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Speaker 3: it's not a it's not a sin, but with the

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Speaker 3: way why I was drinking, I was drinking and it

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Speaker 3: was causing me to sin, you know what I mean. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: I knew if I if once I gave my life,

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Speaker 3: I knew this. There's certain things like if I want change,

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Speaker 3: I got to make change. Yeah I can't want change,

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Speaker 3: it don't and don't make the changes or the sacrifices.

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Speaker 3: But then I remember when, yeah, when it got to

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Speaker 3: the engagement, men, I just went to a house of prayer, Bro,

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Speaker 3: Revelations Western Sydney.

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Speaker 2: Men.

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Speaker 3: It's like just the boys are getting a circle mare

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Speaker 3: like like a fellowship literally just like us now men,

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Speaker 3: and just praying, like all you do is spend like

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Speaker 3: an hour just praying.

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Speaker 2: Bro.

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Speaker 3: And I remember going there I only seeing that it

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Speaker 3: was it was my second week at church as well,

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Speaker 3: and I went there and I saw you my second

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Speaker 3: month at church, and I went there and and once

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Speaker 3: I once I went there, I didn't know they were

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Speaker 3: having the House of Prayer. And I went there, Bro,

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Speaker 3: and I knew I needed it because if I go

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Speaker 3: to this engagement, Bro, I knew I was just gonna

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Speaker 3: go in there and the pea pressures is going to

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Speaker 3: hit me. Bro. So I went there and prayed with

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Speaker 3: the boys men, and then yeah, ended up fast forward.

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Speaker 3: Men ended up going to the engagement, Bro. And then

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Speaker 3: it touched alcohol men and some of the boys. This

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Speaker 3: was before Etha and see that I got saved as

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Speaker 3: all so like handing me junks and stuff like that,

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Speaker 3: and just out of like the getting so used to

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Speaker 3: like always being around the boys popping and drinking. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: it was just like I was grabbed the brain and

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Speaker 3: opened it up, and I was like, I did it.

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Speaker 3: If I take one break, that's the break. Yeah, man,

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Speaker 3: it's a I think I think the biggest, the biggest,

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Speaker 3: like the biggest change was just knowing who God is

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Speaker 3: in my life, bro, and be able to no just

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Speaker 3: to like just to remind myself who he is when

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Speaker 3: I go through certain certain places. But I'm not perfect man,

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Speaker 3: far from it. But I don't use that as a scisy.

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Speaker 3: Stay away. I mean life, you know what I mean?

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Speaker 3: Just wake up, like I said before, just wake up

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Speaker 3: every day, do better man then, and just know that

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Speaker 3: I saved the one that he's perfect. Man, bro good

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Speaker 3: on you.

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Speaker 1: That's that's inspiring the world, especially especially to us because

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Speaker 1: we were we were like in similar situations for you,

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Speaker 1: so it was it was powerful to see one of

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Speaker 1: the boys come out and openly speak about it because

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Speaker 1: you you didn't just change, you also came out publicly.

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Speaker 3: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, started inspiring other boys and now it's it's amazing

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Speaker 1: just to hear that. Like, God was a part of

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Speaker 1: your journey as well.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, man, was was there.

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Speaker 1: Any backlash that you copped after from the boys just

388
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Speaker 1: for the orders? Because I know theed some youngins that

389
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Speaker 1: might be watching be like, nah, if I changed, the

390
00:17:09,280 --> 00:17:10,720
Speaker 1: boys are going to get me tomorrow, you know.

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Speaker 3: I guess, man, Like, there's always going to be a backlash, man,

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Speaker 3: you know. Yeah, if you're if you're if you're a

393
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Speaker 3: change and people around you are in a change as well.

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Speaker 3: You know, you know what I mean. So I think

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Speaker 3: it's just the best of actually, like I can give

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Speaker 3: out to to any youngs that's out there. Man, it's

397
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Speaker 3: just stay true to yourself, man, Yeah, just remember who

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Speaker 3: your identities is and then who it's in. And just

399
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Speaker 3: remember that. Man, there's only one of you, you know,

400
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Speaker 3: in this world. Man, you know, God created this whole

401
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Speaker 3: world and it took the time to create you, and

402
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Speaker 3: there's only one of this, some one else, like you

403
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Speaker 3: know what I mean. So stay true to yourself. Know

404
00:17:42,640 --> 00:17:45,159
Speaker 3: who your identity is and that's in Christ. And just

405
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Speaker 3: stay true to yourself. Men. And they changed for no one, bro,

406
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Speaker 3: one change for God.

407
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Speaker 2: Amazing, amazing.

408
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Speaker 4: You basically highlight how you came back to God, right

409
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Speaker 4: speaking of like the turning point, what was the moment

410
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Speaker 4: you just like sat down and said, you know, I'm

411
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Speaker 4: giving my all to you God, Like this is it?

412
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Speaker 4: This is the moment, Like what was the day where

413
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Speaker 4: you're sitting in the car like talk about like that.

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Speaker 3: Experience, bro, this year ladder. I always like this, But

415
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Speaker 3: when you asked me earlier, I was like, is there

416
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Speaker 3: any questions that you know that people always actually want

417
00:18:16,400 --> 00:18:18,280
Speaker 3: to ask you if you never answered. And this is

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Speaker 3: one of them, very one of them is just I

419
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Speaker 3: would have say this particular part, but let it down.

420
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Speaker 3: The let the in the podcast, we'll talk about it.

421
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Speaker 3: But yeah, the reason why I gave my life, bro,

422
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Speaker 3: it was my marriage. Bro. My marriage was men hanging

423
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Speaker 3: on by a shoe string, Brow and kept on drinking

424
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Speaker 3: and stuff like that, and it took a toll in

425
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Speaker 3: my marriage and got to a point where where Man

426
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Speaker 3: I was drinking and coming home Brow and like both

427
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Speaker 3: taking it out on my family. Bro, you know what

428
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Speaker 3: I mean. And when I used to go home Brow,

429
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Speaker 3: like I'll see my kids, Lad, there would just be

430
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Speaker 3: like another there will be literally like a roommates just walk.

431
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Speaker 2: You know.

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Speaker 3: And I think it was twenty nineteen. I came back

433
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Speaker 3: from a mad Monday and I came back and walked

434
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Speaker 3: into that I was gone for like I think it was,

435
00:19:04,960 --> 00:19:08,280
Speaker 3: went from Sunday Monday, jun and I got back on Wednesday.

436
00:19:08,320 --> 00:19:10,000
Speaker 3: Man got back on Wednesday and I came out. I

437
00:19:10,040 --> 00:19:11,840
Speaker 3: came came back to my house. My house was around

438
00:19:11,840 --> 00:19:13,760
Speaker 3: the corner from my my parents house. I lived in

439
00:19:13,800 --> 00:19:16,399
Speaker 3: the grandy flat, like literally around the corner and like

440
00:19:16,840 --> 00:19:18,400
Speaker 3: the back of the back of the back of my house.

441
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:20,399
Speaker 3: I can just put my hand through the window into

442
00:19:20,440 --> 00:19:22,159
Speaker 3: my main house like my mom's. Then that touched the

443
00:19:22,160 --> 00:19:25,159
Speaker 3: garage past food like food over whenever I'm hungry and

444
00:19:25,160 --> 00:19:28,000
Speaker 3: stuff like that, toming feeling and stuff like that. And

445
00:19:28,240 --> 00:19:30,400
Speaker 3: I remember going like coming back home, but I full

446
00:19:30,480 --> 00:19:33,479
Speaker 3: smashed off my head man and walked walked home and

447
00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:35,720
Speaker 3: I seen all like like all these plastic bags of

448
00:19:35,800 --> 00:19:38,800
Speaker 3: the front and I was like, hey, duffle bags. Look

449
00:19:38,800 --> 00:19:41,200
Speaker 3: at someone rubbed the banks and I just dropped. Obviously

450
00:19:41,200 --> 00:19:42,920
Speaker 3: it wasn't but when I looked at it was waning

451
00:19:43,000 --> 00:19:44,719
Speaker 3: like black plastic bags and I was like, bro, what

452
00:19:44,760 --> 00:19:46,600
Speaker 3: the heck? And I opened it up and I seen

453
00:19:46,640 --> 00:19:48,359
Speaker 3: like first thing I've seen it was my piers, my

454
00:19:48,400 --> 00:19:50,439
Speaker 3: Piers four and stuff like that, and I was like,

455
00:19:51,400 --> 00:19:53,200
Speaker 3: I saw you, yeah, piss four. And I was like, hey,

456
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:56,440
Speaker 3: here is this broad And for me, I've met I've

457
00:19:56,440 --> 00:19:59,000
Speaker 3: had so many arguments with my with my ex wife

458
00:19:59,520 --> 00:20:03,080
Speaker 3: and stuff that man, and it's a it was almost

459
00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:07,400
Speaker 3: like zal Yeah, I've never I've never seen her like, yeah,

460
00:20:07,840 --> 00:20:09,919
Speaker 3: I was folded nicely, lad it was folded nicely and

461
00:20:09,960 --> 00:20:12,720
Speaker 3: packed nice crazy And I knew then I'll go, bro,

462
00:20:12,920 --> 00:20:16,399
Speaker 3: this she must be serious now, lad, because everything is

463
00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:19,080
Speaker 3: packed nicely, lad, like before you just throw a couple

464
00:20:19,119 --> 00:20:20,920
Speaker 3: of clothes outside, or I walk in and you just

465
00:20:20,960 --> 00:20:22,760
Speaker 3: walk out and stuff like that. But I went there

466
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:24,640
Speaker 3: and locked on the door. It was locked everything, and

467
00:20:24,720 --> 00:20:26,040
Speaker 3: she came to the window. I was just saying that

468
00:20:26,440 --> 00:20:28,000
Speaker 3: just go, you know, and I was teacher, just take

469
00:20:28,040 --> 00:20:30,200
Speaker 3: your stuff and get to your own parents house. Yeah,

470
00:20:30,240 --> 00:20:31,320
Speaker 3: And I was like, bron, I looked at it, but

471
00:20:31,400 --> 00:20:33,239
Speaker 3: it was like all folded nicely, lad. I was like, bro,

472
00:20:33,359 --> 00:20:35,800
Speaker 3: she must be that seriously about it that she's taking

473
00:20:35,800 --> 00:20:39,240
Speaker 3: the time to take everything out and and folded nicely.

474
00:20:39,320 --> 00:20:39,439
Speaker 2: Man.

475
00:20:39,520 --> 00:20:41,600
Speaker 3: So took the bags and stuff like that, man, and

476
00:20:41,640 --> 00:20:43,160
Speaker 3: walked there to my parents house. Man, and I tried

477
00:20:43,160 --> 00:20:45,520
Speaker 3: to sleep in it, and I see, I remember watching

478
00:20:45,560 --> 00:20:47,320
Speaker 3: Fortnight Bags. I'm still of off my head off the

479
00:20:47,359 --> 00:20:51,080
Speaker 3: me and that, and I just remember watching Fortnight brod

480
00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:53,000
Speaker 3: like because that's like at the time, I couldn't sleep.

481
00:20:53,040 --> 00:20:54,600
Speaker 3: So I just listened to like the gaming and that,

482
00:20:54,720 --> 00:20:57,040
Speaker 3: like the life games like people just when that teethe

483
00:20:57,160 --> 00:20:59,520
Speaker 3: and that was still yeah nicely, like just listening to

484
00:20:59,520 --> 00:21:00,720
Speaker 3: it just to try put me to sleep. But I'll

485
00:21:00,720 --> 00:21:03,040
Speaker 3: close my eyes and I'll be like closing my eyes

486
00:21:03,040 --> 00:21:05,320
Speaker 3: for like two hours. But I knew I wasn't sleeping,

487
00:21:05,440 --> 00:21:08,679
Speaker 3: like yeah, waking up down the hallway and that. And

488
00:21:08,720 --> 00:21:10,280
Speaker 3: then all of a sudden, we just went quiet. Bro,

489
00:21:10,400 --> 00:21:13,320
Speaker 3: like everyone left me, like from home. And I was like, bro,

490
00:21:13,480 --> 00:21:15,920
Speaker 3: that's when I started getting paranoid. Bro started getting like

491
00:21:15,920 --> 00:21:19,560
Speaker 3: like they coming down from the meat and there. Yeah, yeah, bright,

492
00:21:19,560 --> 00:21:22,560
Speaker 3: and I started like everything's loud, yeah broke well he opening,

493
00:21:22,600 --> 00:21:24,520
Speaker 3: but then it just went quiet. I could just hear

494
00:21:24,600 --> 00:21:28,679
Speaker 3: like like but it's quiet, Like I'm getting paranoid. And

495
00:21:28,720 --> 00:21:31,240
Speaker 3: then I walked back over to my house, knocked on

496
00:21:31,240 --> 00:21:32,560
Speaker 3: the door, knocked on the door, and I was talking

497
00:21:32,600 --> 00:21:33,720
Speaker 3: to her, was like, man, let me in the house. Man,

498
00:21:33,760 --> 00:21:35,560
Speaker 3: I can't sleep and this and that, and then she

499
00:21:35,640 --> 00:21:37,840
Speaker 3: finally let me in and then went inside, and I

500
00:21:37,880 --> 00:21:39,760
Speaker 3: remember talking to her like, you know, like she was

501
00:21:39,760 --> 00:21:41,680
Speaker 3: talking bringing up all the stuff about like going out

502
00:21:41,680 --> 00:21:43,560
Speaker 3: and all this stuff that she's had enough, and I

503
00:21:43,560 --> 00:21:45,720
Speaker 3: remember just agreeing with everything that she was saying, just

504
00:21:45,760 --> 00:21:47,119
Speaker 3: so I can go to sleep back because I was

505
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:50,560
Speaker 3: like freaking hammered me. Yeah. And then and then at

506
00:21:50,600 --> 00:21:52,840
Speaker 3: the time she finally brang up like I wanted, like,

507
00:21:52,880 --> 00:21:54,400
Speaker 3: you know, why don't we go to your sister's church.

508
00:21:54,520 --> 00:21:57,960
Speaker 3: So that's where my sister and how I was going to.

509
00:21:59,000 --> 00:22:01,919
Speaker 3: She's like, oh, what do we like because she was eighty especially,

510
00:22:01,960 --> 00:22:03,119
Speaker 3: never believed in God on nothing.

511
00:22:03,800 --> 00:22:07,760
Speaker 1: Your ex yeah yeah, yeah, so she made the first thing,

512
00:22:08,480 --> 00:22:09,720
Speaker 1: yeah yeah, church.

513
00:22:09,760 --> 00:22:11,320
Speaker 3: But like and in my head, I was like, bro,

514
00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:13,879
Speaker 3: the he'll like, my dad's a fee bull, I know

515
00:22:14,000 --> 00:22:15,000
Speaker 3: what are you like? You know?

516
00:22:15,200 --> 00:22:16,600
Speaker 2: Oh true, you.

517
00:22:16,640 --> 00:22:18,920
Speaker 3: Told me about church, but I've been growing up at church. Yeah,

518
00:22:19,640 --> 00:22:21,199
Speaker 3: he had never been to church. He's going to tell

519
00:22:21,240 --> 00:22:24,280
Speaker 3: me to go to church. And then yeah. I just

520
00:22:24,359 --> 00:22:25,920
Speaker 3: ended up agreeing with her just to go to sleep.

521
00:22:25,920 --> 00:22:27,800
Speaker 3: And then I remember sleeping brother then waking up, and

522
00:22:27,840 --> 00:22:29,440
Speaker 3: then I seen him all getting ready.

523
00:22:29,440 --> 00:22:29,560
Speaker 2: Bro.

524
00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:32,400
Speaker 3: I was like, hey, what's going on here? I've seen

525
00:22:32,440 --> 00:22:34,320
Speaker 3: my two boys getting ready and they're like falling in

526
00:22:34,320 --> 00:22:35,960
Speaker 3: the chest case for looking cute in that braind I

527
00:22:35,960 --> 00:22:39,119
Speaker 3: was like just laying there. I just remember being like, bro,

528
00:22:39,400 --> 00:22:43,640
Speaker 3: I am a useless human brain, useless husband, bro, useless father, brain.

529
00:22:43,760 --> 00:22:45,359
Speaker 3: All these things that started coming up. I was like,

530
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:47,240
Speaker 3: if I don't get up now and just give it

531
00:22:47,280 --> 00:22:49,480
Speaker 3: a crack, bro, Like and just at least go to

532
00:22:49,600 --> 00:22:52,960
Speaker 3: church with them as a family. Brother, then I want

533
00:22:52,960 --> 00:22:54,440
Speaker 3: to lose all of this, bro, you know what I mean.

534
00:22:55,320 --> 00:22:56,720
Speaker 3: Ended up going to church, brain, and then we went

535
00:22:56,760 --> 00:23:00,120
Speaker 3: in and after that broke. We stayed consistently for like

536
00:23:01,040 --> 00:23:03,440
Speaker 3: two months, men, and then I gave I gave my life,

537
00:23:03,720 --> 00:23:05,239
Speaker 3: and then after I gave my life, she gave her

538
00:23:05,280 --> 00:23:10,600
Speaker 3: life a week later. Bro, Like, I haven't really I've

539
00:23:10,640 --> 00:23:12,400
Speaker 3: only spoken to the boys at church and stuff about

540
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:17,200
Speaker 3: this stuff. Like, yeah, I think the highlight of it, bro,

541
00:23:17,400 --> 00:23:19,520
Speaker 3: was was her giving her life. Bro, you know moment

542
00:23:19,520 --> 00:23:20,400
Speaker 3: that she was at like.

543
00:23:22,200 --> 00:23:23,880
Speaker 2: And you gots too together, you guys.

544
00:23:25,359 --> 00:23:26,880
Speaker 3: Yeah, So that's that's one of That's what I was saying.

545
00:23:26,920 --> 00:23:29,720
Speaker 3: That's one of the the main topics that people always

546
00:23:29,720 --> 00:23:32,480
Speaker 3: asking stuff like that. I never wanted to speak about

547
00:23:32,520 --> 00:23:36,040
Speaker 3: it because it's it's very I think it's very hard

548
00:23:36,080 --> 00:23:38,199
Speaker 3: to speak about it online because it's something I'm not

549
00:23:38,200 --> 00:23:41,600
Speaker 3: proud of as well. You know what a lot of people,

550
00:23:41,640 --> 00:23:43,639
Speaker 3: a lot of people on the conversation and oneno, they

551
00:23:43,680 --> 00:23:46,280
Speaker 3: always DM me and actually I was like, whe's theres

552
00:23:46,280 --> 00:23:47,560
Speaker 3: the mother of the kids and this and that, like

553
00:23:47,560 --> 00:23:51,359
Speaker 3: well on good terms and that, Yeah, just yeah, man,

554
00:23:51,440 --> 00:23:57,320
Speaker 3: if you I think it's a complacently speak about it man,

555
00:23:57,359 --> 00:23:59,000
Speaker 3: because there's a lot of people watching this man. And

556
00:23:59,760 --> 00:24:01,639
Speaker 3: even though like I went through that season, bro, and

557
00:24:01,640 --> 00:24:03,720
Speaker 3: where I am now, Like it's hard because I was

558
00:24:03,720 --> 00:24:05,399
Speaker 3: speaking how good it was and how God saved our

559
00:24:05,400 --> 00:24:07,640
Speaker 3: marriage and this and that made then where I am now,

560
00:24:07,640 --> 00:24:09,640
Speaker 3: you know what I mean? So yeah, And I think

561
00:24:09,680 --> 00:24:12,720
Speaker 3: it's a that's where faith comes in there, Like people

562
00:24:12,720 --> 00:24:14,679
Speaker 3: want to see the miracles before they have faith. Man.

563
00:24:14,720 --> 00:24:16,840
Speaker 3: By having faith, he's not seeing the miracle and trusting

564
00:24:16,880 --> 00:24:20,240
Speaker 3: and believing exactly so right now, I mean like, yeah,

565
00:24:20,280 --> 00:24:22,119
Speaker 3: I'm in I'm in the stage now man, and that

566
00:24:22,640 --> 00:24:24,840
Speaker 3: you know, it's like it's a it's been we've been

567
00:24:24,880 --> 00:24:29,240
Speaker 3: separated for say two and a half years now, and.

568
00:24:29,440 --> 00:24:33,359
Speaker 2: What was I know this this may be like a

569
00:24:33,480 --> 00:24:36,000
Speaker 2: sensitive question, but I just I really want to know,

570
00:24:36,119 --> 00:24:40,040
Speaker 2: like it's was the separation? Uh? Did any of your

571
00:24:40,119 --> 00:24:43,040
Speaker 2: drinking or your past factor into your goal separation?

572
00:24:43,720 --> 00:24:43,960
Speaker 3: Yeah?

573
00:24:44,359 --> 00:24:46,000
Speaker 2: It was just it's totally different.

574
00:24:46,720 --> 00:24:50,800
Speaker 3: Just grew apartment. Yeah, Okay, that happened. Yeah, just grew apartment.

575
00:24:50,880 --> 00:24:53,280
Speaker 3: And I couldn't bro when it happened. Bro, I just

576
00:24:53,280 --> 00:24:56,639
Speaker 3: couldn't understand, bro. Like it wasn't like where did I

577
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:57,320
Speaker 3: go wrong? Wrong?

578
00:24:57,359 --> 00:24:57,560
Speaker 1: Then?

579
00:24:57,680 --> 00:24:59,200
Speaker 3: You know, like where do I go wrong as a father?

580
00:24:59,280 --> 00:24:59,399
Speaker 2: Man?

581
00:24:59,480 --> 00:25:02,480
Speaker 3: Like what part of like everything was good? Like like man,

582
00:25:02,760 --> 00:25:04,479
Speaker 3: like no one knows, but like I was like I

583
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:07,919
Speaker 3: was blessed enough to be able to step on on

584
00:25:07,960 --> 00:25:09,680
Speaker 3: the platform on the pulping man and be able to

585
00:25:09,720 --> 00:25:12,880
Speaker 3: preach God's word at church men like numerous times men,

586
00:25:12,920 --> 00:25:14,720
Speaker 3: you know. And and she was there by my side

587
00:25:14,800 --> 00:25:17,760
Speaker 3: all the way through it. And then like yeah, bro,

588
00:25:17,920 --> 00:25:19,679
Speaker 3: like and then and when everything happened, you know, just

589
00:25:19,760 --> 00:25:22,280
Speaker 3: it was just a simple like and listen, this is

590
00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,720
Speaker 3: not to like a like speak down on it, but

591
00:25:24,880 --> 00:25:27,520
Speaker 3: she's she's a she's a wonderful woman. She's a wonderful

592
00:25:27,880 --> 00:25:31,680
Speaker 3: mother mother to that man. And it was just yeah,

593
00:25:31,680 --> 00:25:33,480
Speaker 3: she just messaged me one day, bro, And it was

594
00:25:33,520 --> 00:25:35,919
Speaker 3: just like you know, like it wasn't just a message.

595
00:25:35,920 --> 00:25:38,520
Speaker 3: It was just we had an argument prior to that,

596
00:25:39,040 --> 00:25:41,520
Speaker 3: arguments prior to that, and and one of the arguments

597
00:25:41,600 --> 00:25:43,800
Speaker 3: was pretty bad. Is I ended up losing it, bro,

598
00:25:43,920 --> 00:25:45,280
Speaker 3: you know, and we had an argument and just and

599
00:25:45,320 --> 00:25:48,320
Speaker 3: I ended up throwing like the TV controller at the wall.

600
00:25:48,560 --> 00:25:51,600
Speaker 3: But I've never lost it like that three years, like

601
00:25:51,840 --> 00:25:54,439
Speaker 3: to me being saved, that's never happened, you know, or

602
00:25:54,480 --> 00:25:57,480
Speaker 3: even gone into like a bad argument. We've always we've

603
00:25:57,520 --> 00:26:00,320
Speaker 3: always had like a thing where we what we do

604
00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:02,840
Speaker 3: on every Sunday, and it was like having debrief with

605
00:26:02,920 --> 00:26:05,359
Speaker 3: each other, bringing up certain topics or like, you know,

606
00:26:05,440 --> 00:26:07,360
Speaker 3: is there anything that I've done that's upset you during

607
00:26:07,359 --> 00:26:10,320
Speaker 3: the week, and you know, just to really like because

608
00:26:10,359 --> 00:26:12,560
Speaker 3: people people can like you can talk with your partner

609
00:26:13,320 --> 00:26:15,359
Speaker 3: and not communicate. You know, you can get to the

610
00:26:15,440 --> 00:26:17,240
Speaker 3: movies and stuff like that, but like talk about the movies,

611
00:26:17,240 --> 00:26:18,959
Speaker 3: but you're not communicating. You know, like on a day

612
00:26:19,520 --> 00:26:21,880
Speaker 3: we'll go to this fancy restaurant and we'll go here

613
00:26:21,880 --> 00:26:23,359
Speaker 3: and you guys will be talking about the food and

614
00:26:23,400 --> 00:26:27,240
Speaker 3: be on your face but not communicating. Talking and communicating.

615
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:30,720
Speaker 3: Very different, bro. Now that that what I've been through,

616
00:26:30,760 --> 00:26:34,800
Speaker 3: you know, And and me like with her like yeah,

617
00:26:34,840 --> 00:26:36,760
Speaker 3: when everything when everything went down, bro, it was just

618
00:26:38,359 --> 00:26:40,800
Speaker 3: it's just as simple like yeah, she was just like

619
00:26:40,880 --> 00:26:43,080
Speaker 3: she just had enough, bro, Like yeah, yeah, enough. Like

620
00:26:43,200 --> 00:26:46,600
Speaker 3: I think that was the tipping point when I obviously

621
00:26:46,600 --> 00:26:48,320
Speaker 3: we had that argument and stuff like that, and then

622
00:26:48,920 --> 00:26:51,280
Speaker 3: and when it all happened bro like I couldn't believe it,

623
00:26:51,280 --> 00:26:53,040
Speaker 3: and us I just kicked back, but I was like,

624
00:26:53,119 --> 00:26:55,359
Speaker 3: I was like, no, it's you know, That's what I

625
00:26:55,400 --> 00:26:57,280
Speaker 3: was gonna say, like, yeah, we're like, you know, he

626
00:26:57,359 --> 00:26:59,200
Speaker 3: trusts God and know she's she's a woman of God

627
00:26:59,240 --> 00:27:01,879
Speaker 3: with you know, God's in the cener of our marriage.

628
00:27:01,880 --> 00:27:03,320
Speaker 3: God is in the center of our family. But we'll

629
00:27:03,359 --> 00:27:06,000
Speaker 3: be sweet, you know God, you know, and what with

630
00:27:06,160 --> 00:27:07,600
Speaker 3: all we got to do is keep trusting you Like

631
00:27:07,640 --> 00:27:10,320
Speaker 3: for myself, you know, keep trusting God. There's no way

632
00:27:10,400 --> 00:27:13,400
Speaker 3: that God has saved my marriage. And and and get

633
00:27:13,440 --> 00:27:15,639
Speaker 3: to this point and then it breaks like this in

634
00:27:15,680 --> 00:27:17,439
Speaker 3: my in the in the peak of my faith, you

635
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:18,800
Speaker 3: know what I mean, There's no way that's gonna happen,

636
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:20,399
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. And then it happened then

637
00:27:20,520 --> 00:27:24,560
Speaker 3: again to go to comfortable men, and and I think

638
00:27:24,560 --> 00:27:28,040
Speaker 3: for me it was it was a more God looking

639
00:27:28,080 --> 00:27:29,600
Speaker 3: at me and telling me is like is your is

640
00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:32,600
Speaker 3: your faith in me? Is it in me? Because what

641
00:27:32,640 --> 00:27:36,639
Speaker 3: I did for your family? Ah, oh, this.

642
00:27:38,320 --> 00:27:41,960
Speaker 1: Is like all on my back, this is this is

643
00:27:42,000 --> 00:27:42,560
Speaker 1: the craziest.

644
00:27:42,880 --> 00:27:45,760
Speaker 2: This is actually Yeah, I was I was just gonna say,

645
00:27:46,080 --> 00:27:48,040
Speaker 2: I'll give you, I'll give you so much props and

646
00:27:48,080 --> 00:27:52,200
Speaker 2: credit or for it wouldn't have been easy. It would

647
00:27:52,320 --> 00:27:54,840
Speaker 2: not have been easy, and you could have easily slipped

648
00:27:54,880 --> 00:27:59,400
Speaker 2: back into the habits like tenfold after that separation.

649
00:27:59,600 --> 00:28:02,400
Speaker 3: And if you it's funny you said, because that's what happened, man,

650
00:28:04,080 --> 00:28:08,159
Speaker 3: that's literally what happened. I'm like a part of me

651
00:28:08,240 --> 00:28:10,919
Speaker 3: is that just like embarrassedal like what's happened? You know?

652
00:28:11,000 --> 00:28:14,320
Speaker 3: And man, I remember, freak. I remember going back to

653
00:28:14,359 --> 00:28:17,359
Speaker 3: like going back to church and being like arguing with God. Man.

654
00:28:17,359 --> 00:28:20,600
Speaker 3: I was like, man, like you saved you saved my marriage,

655
00:28:22,119 --> 00:28:24,840
Speaker 3: Like what was the part of saving it? Saving it then?

656
00:28:25,000 --> 00:28:26,760
Speaker 3: And then and then now it's breaking. I was blaming

657
00:28:26,840 --> 00:28:29,119
Speaker 3: I was blaming God for my marriage breaking apart, you know.

658
00:28:29,200 --> 00:28:31,200
Speaker 3: I mean I wasn't taking it. And I was like, no, no, no,

659
00:28:32,680 --> 00:28:34,879
Speaker 3: you say what you should just let my marriage freaking

660
00:28:35,320 --> 00:28:36,000
Speaker 3: buying the world?

661
00:28:36,000 --> 00:28:36,119
Speaker 2: Bro?

662
00:28:36,320 --> 00:28:37,560
Speaker 3: What you say be for? You know what I mean?

663
00:28:38,120 --> 00:28:38,239
Speaker 2: Bro?

664
00:28:38,440 --> 00:28:40,160
Speaker 3: I went two stages where I was going to church, man,

665
00:28:40,240 --> 00:28:42,959
Speaker 3: and like being at church, everyone was just pissing me off.

666
00:28:43,000 --> 00:28:43,080
Speaker 2: Bro.

667
00:28:43,240 --> 00:28:45,200
Speaker 3: Like I was just looking at people, bro, like seeing

668
00:28:45,200 --> 00:28:47,880
Speaker 3: people raising their hands and like I'm like I was

669
00:28:47,920 --> 00:28:50,120
Speaker 3: wait too, bro, like what I'm feeling now. Wait, bro,

670
00:28:50,160 --> 00:28:52,120
Speaker 3: it's coming around you. I was that bit out of

671
00:28:52,920 --> 00:28:54,360
Speaker 3: looking at them, and I was like, look at these

672
00:28:54,360 --> 00:28:57,000
Speaker 3: guys raising their hand, you know, then they wait, wait too,

673
00:28:57,080 --> 00:28:59,520
Speaker 3: something raised your hand when when you go through what

674
00:28:59,520 --> 00:29:01,280
Speaker 3: I've gone through, you know what I mean? And I

675
00:29:01,320 --> 00:29:03,280
Speaker 3: remember it was just hard break because it was I

676
00:29:03,320 --> 00:29:04,920
Speaker 3: was going to church and me and my family were

677
00:29:05,200 --> 00:29:07,200
Speaker 3: we served that church as well. We looked after the

678
00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:09,240
Speaker 3: life stream and stuff there. So all there when my

679
00:29:09,320 --> 00:29:13,040
Speaker 3: kids meant every Sunday, five o'clock in the morning, me, me,

680
00:29:13,320 --> 00:29:16,200
Speaker 3: my wife, and the two boys will be up and awake,

681
00:29:16,520 --> 00:29:18,760
Speaker 3: getting changed, will be at church six o'clock in the morning,

682
00:29:19,040 --> 00:29:21,960
Speaker 3: setting up, waiting for everyone to come in, like with

683
00:29:22,080 --> 00:29:24,680
Speaker 3: other other brothers and sisters in a church as well

684
00:29:24,720 --> 00:29:27,080
Speaker 3: that were serving as well. So we're always the early

685
00:29:27,280 --> 00:29:29,120
Speaker 3: earliest ones there and the last ones to leave.

686
00:29:29,160 --> 00:29:29,280
Speaker 2: Man.

687
00:29:29,320 --> 00:29:31,920
Speaker 3: And we've done that for three years, man, And it

688
00:29:32,000 --> 00:29:33,719
Speaker 3: was such a blessing. Man, it was such a blessing,

689
00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:36,280
Speaker 3: you know. And but just like after everything happened and

690
00:29:36,360 --> 00:29:38,480
Speaker 3: going back to church, it was just like the one

691
00:29:38,480 --> 00:29:41,440
Speaker 3: place that I that I that I called home and

692
00:29:41,480 --> 00:29:44,520
Speaker 3: I felt so so comfortable and felt so at home.

693
00:29:45,080 --> 00:29:47,760
Speaker 3: Now has become like a graveyard to me going to church,

694
00:29:48,000 --> 00:29:50,240
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. So every time I walked

695
00:29:50,240 --> 00:29:52,480
Speaker 3: in there, but when I see walking there before, I

696
00:29:52,480 --> 00:29:55,040
Speaker 3: felt life. When I walked in there, so happy, man,

697
00:29:55,080 --> 00:29:57,640
Speaker 3: I feel so happy seeing everyone play coming Yeah, right,

698
00:29:57,640 --> 00:30:00,480
Speaker 3: complete break seeing everyone coming in, and I just wanted

699
00:30:00,520 --> 00:30:02,760
Speaker 3: to like like, I just wanted to screaming like man,

700
00:30:02,840 --> 00:30:04,680
Speaker 3: like man, we come to church and all this, and

701
00:30:04,720 --> 00:30:06,880
Speaker 3: then now it's gone from that to walking in and

702
00:30:06,920 --> 00:30:08,880
Speaker 3: just feeling dead walking in there. But I was just

703
00:30:09,000 --> 00:30:12,040
Speaker 3: there because I had nothing else. Lad, I had nothing else,

704
00:30:12,080 --> 00:30:13,600
Speaker 3: and I was and I was using that excuse that

705
00:30:13,640 --> 00:30:15,280
Speaker 3: I was yeah, I'm trusting God, but I wasn't. I

706
00:30:15,320 --> 00:30:18,640
Speaker 3: was just I was lost saying that. Yeah, like I was, like,

707
00:30:18,680 --> 00:30:20,440
Speaker 3: I didn't know what I was doing there. I just

708
00:30:20,560 --> 00:30:23,160
Speaker 3: kept I just kept on going to church after it

709
00:30:23,320 --> 00:30:23,680
Speaker 3: out of.

710
00:30:24,280 --> 00:30:26,560
Speaker 1: The habit, out of habit yeah yeah, yeah, yeah yeah

711
00:30:26,600 --> 00:30:27,960
Speaker 1: with you just call me yeah.

712
00:30:28,120 --> 00:30:30,240
Speaker 3: And I was just look, the only thing different now

713
00:30:30,360 --> 00:30:32,840
Speaker 3: I wasn't with my family and yeah, like I wake

714
00:30:32,920 --> 00:30:34,160
Speaker 3: up in the morning. It was so hard to wake

715
00:30:34,240 --> 00:30:35,680
Speaker 3: up in the morning because I was always with my

716
00:30:35,760 --> 00:30:38,000
Speaker 3: kids and waking up together. Any change, and I'll be

717
00:30:38,040 --> 00:30:39,680
Speaker 3: the one driving, will be listening to praise and worship

718
00:30:39,760 --> 00:30:42,560
Speaker 3: music on the way to church, where it's now like

719
00:30:42,560 --> 00:30:45,000
Speaker 3: like after everything happened, I'm waking up and I couldn't

720
00:30:45,000 --> 00:30:47,080
Speaker 3: even listen to praise and worship song. I was just

721
00:30:47,160 --> 00:30:50,520
Speaker 3: driving dead silence already church. And then I feel dead

722
00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:53,880
Speaker 3: inside church. And then I went from being the first

723
00:30:53,880 --> 00:30:55,680
Speaker 3: one there to the last one to leave, to being

724
00:30:55,720 --> 00:30:58,400
Speaker 3: the last one there and being the first one to

725
00:30:58,520 --> 00:31:01,480
Speaker 3: leave to get there because I didn't want anyone to

726
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:05,040
Speaker 3: see me because like obviously you talk like you know,

727
00:31:05,160 --> 00:31:07,160
Speaker 3: obviously once started noticing that, I was like, oh, come,

728
00:31:07,240 --> 00:31:10,280
Speaker 3: you know, how come Sam's wiz when these kids in there,

729
00:31:10,280 --> 00:31:12,240
Speaker 3: they're like, you know, they don't see them at I

730
00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 3: see him and stuff like that. I knew people will

731
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:16,880
Speaker 3: start picking up, you know, and yeah, I was just yeah,

732
00:31:17,160 --> 00:31:18,680
Speaker 3: just do you still see the kids? And that look

733
00:31:19,080 --> 00:31:21,800
Speaker 3: So they're in cans now, so they still see them

734
00:31:21,800 --> 00:31:24,560
Speaker 3: and stuff. It's a a lot. It's it is to

735
00:31:24,600 --> 00:31:27,000
Speaker 3: be hard because it's, yeah, they only come down in

736
00:31:27,040 --> 00:31:30,320
Speaker 3: school holiday, so yeah, like fifty two weeks. I only

737
00:31:30,360 --> 00:31:33,720
Speaker 3: see them for maybe like eight weeks a year. Yeah,

738
00:31:33,760 --> 00:31:35,960
Speaker 3: for me, going from seeing them every single day right now,

739
00:31:36,480 --> 00:31:38,800
Speaker 3: seeing them on you eight weeks, you know what I mean.

740
00:31:38,840 --> 00:31:41,280
Speaker 1: So I don't want to open old scars, but like,

741
00:31:41,560 --> 00:31:44,880
Speaker 1: I've got to give you props because you know, even

742
00:31:44,920 --> 00:31:49,040
Speaker 1: though your your your marriage did end up like not

743
00:31:49,160 --> 00:31:51,160
Speaker 1: being together, you guys are not being together and it

744
00:31:51,240 --> 00:31:54,400
Speaker 1: was hard. I've got to give you props because there's

745
00:31:54,440 --> 00:31:56,920
Speaker 1: something important there that you're actually done. There was one

746
00:31:56,960 --> 00:32:00,400
Speaker 1: day where you decided to wake up and change your life.

747
00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:02,800
Speaker 1: So so even though you guys, in the last year,

748
00:32:02,920 --> 00:32:05,800
Speaker 1: you've actually saved someone because now you have an atheist

749
00:32:06,040 --> 00:32:08,720
Speaker 1: who is a Christian, and I guess that's the that's

750
00:32:08,760 --> 00:32:10,720
Speaker 1: the most important thing I was able to find. And

751
00:32:11,240 --> 00:32:14,120
Speaker 1: I think you should be proud of yourself just because

752
00:32:14,160 --> 00:32:18,840
Speaker 1: that one day you decided to change everything happened. But man, yeah,

753
00:32:18,880 --> 00:32:22,600
Speaker 1: it's just crazy the way God works, because sometimes he

754
00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:26,160
Speaker 1: has to deliver his hardest trials and test to his soldiers,

755
00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:28,280
Speaker 1: you know, And I really feel like you were one

756
00:32:28,280 --> 00:32:31,920
Speaker 1: of them. And this could be another another thing where

757
00:32:31,960 --> 00:32:34,920
Speaker 1: God was testing you because me and running you went

758
00:32:34,960 --> 00:32:38,719
Speaker 1: through similar things to that, especially like with the with

759
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:42,560
Speaker 1: the partner kids. Because we're in jail, so I can

760
00:32:42,600 --> 00:32:45,560
Speaker 1: only imagine like it's been two years now for you,

761
00:32:45,560 --> 00:32:46,959
Speaker 1: are you still healing from this?

762
00:32:48,520 --> 00:32:54,000
Speaker 3: I think I feeled from it. I think now it's

763
00:32:54,040 --> 00:32:58,040
Speaker 3: just you know that that's saying, you know, wheres too

764
00:32:58,600 --> 00:33:00,800
Speaker 3: too happy? Home is better than one broaken him, you know.

765
00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:03,840
Speaker 3: So just as long as you know, like you know

766
00:33:03,880 --> 00:33:05,719
Speaker 3: that she's she's you know, the mother, the kids are

767
00:33:05,760 --> 00:33:06,920
Speaker 3: good and the kids are good too.

768
00:33:06,960 --> 00:33:07,080
Speaker 2: Men.

769
00:33:07,200 --> 00:33:10,840
Speaker 3: You know, I never I never set out to be

770
00:33:11,200 --> 00:33:14,240
Speaker 3: a single dad, you know what I mean? But I

771
00:33:14,280 --> 00:33:15,719
Speaker 3: said that to be a good father, and that's who

772
00:33:15,760 --> 00:33:20,680
Speaker 3: I am. Never. Yeah, I think that I've learned as all.

773
00:33:20,760 --> 00:33:23,240
Speaker 3: Man's like I remember going through anything, but I'm really

774
00:33:23,240 --> 00:33:26,680
Speaker 3: good at talking myself down and really talking smack about

775
00:33:26,680 --> 00:33:30,360
Speaker 3: myself right, like negative towards myself. And I think going

776
00:33:30,360 --> 00:33:32,600
Speaker 3: through all that stuff, man and just made me realize

777
00:33:32,640 --> 00:33:36,000
Speaker 3: it's like bra like, no one's gonna come and save you, lad,

778
00:33:36,080 --> 00:33:38,960
Speaker 3: no one's going to help you, right Like, there'll be

779
00:33:39,000 --> 00:33:41,320
Speaker 3: people in your in your in the faith broad that

780
00:33:41,360 --> 00:33:44,880
Speaker 3: will be there for certain seasons, for only certain amount

781
00:33:44,920 --> 00:33:46,520
Speaker 3: of times. They'll be there to walk with you. They'll

782
00:33:46,560 --> 00:33:48,840
Speaker 3: be there to encourage you, stay with you, pray with you,

783
00:33:48,880 --> 00:33:50,480
Speaker 3: and all that stuff. But then it will get to

784
00:33:50,480 --> 00:33:54,480
Speaker 3: a point where they the season that you're going through,

785
00:33:54,760 --> 00:33:57,360
Speaker 3: God only wants you to go through it and doesn't

786
00:33:57,400 --> 00:33:59,400
Speaker 3: want anyone else to go for him. He wants you

787
00:33:59,440 --> 00:34:01,280
Speaker 3: to go through it because hint, the testing is for

788
00:34:01,360 --> 00:34:03,760
Speaker 3: you and you only you know what I mean. And

789
00:34:03,800 --> 00:34:05,680
Speaker 3: it's just like similar to the gym, bro, Like you know,

790
00:34:05,760 --> 00:34:08,280
Speaker 3: like you're going you know, you're going to bench benching

791
00:34:08,320 --> 00:34:09,640
Speaker 3: that and if you get us, like there'll be a

792
00:34:09,680 --> 00:34:11,560
Speaker 3: couple of boys there. You know, you're a spotter, you know,

793
00:34:12,000 --> 00:34:14,399
Speaker 3: spotting you. But then there'll be other times where you're

794
00:34:14,480 --> 00:34:16,239
Speaker 3: like you'll be lifting a weight that will be too

795
00:34:16,280 --> 00:34:18,600
Speaker 3: heavy for you and the spotter. Yeah, and it's other

796
00:34:18,680 --> 00:34:21,239
Speaker 3: you gotta get it up, bro, or land on you.

797
00:34:21,719 --> 00:34:24,160
Speaker 3: Similar to your to like to life is all men.

798
00:34:24,239 --> 00:34:26,400
Speaker 3: You know, there's there's gonna be certain things that you

799
00:34:26,480 --> 00:34:28,239
Speaker 3: go through in life. Man, that's gonna you know, they

800
00:34:28,320 --> 00:34:29,800
Speaker 3: gotta have certain people like I was saying before that

801
00:34:29,840 --> 00:34:31,560
Speaker 3: it's gonna walk with you and pray with you and

802
00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:33,319
Speaker 3: stay with you man and be there to you know,

803
00:34:33,480 --> 00:34:35,520
Speaker 3: like for you to cry, like you give your shoulder

804
00:34:35,560 --> 00:34:37,640
Speaker 3: to crowns. But then it's gonna get to a point

805
00:34:37,640 --> 00:34:40,400
Speaker 3: where that that weight that and that that that you've

806
00:34:40,640 --> 00:34:42,759
Speaker 3: that you've got on your shoulder, it's gonna be heavy

807
00:34:42,800 --> 00:34:45,640
Speaker 3: for both of you. Yeah, some other you gotta you

808
00:34:45,640 --> 00:34:47,480
Speaker 3: swim or sink, bro, you know what I mean. And

809
00:34:47,760 --> 00:34:49,399
Speaker 3: I think that's one thing that I've learned. But it's

810
00:34:49,440 --> 00:34:52,480
Speaker 3: just too It's not that I that like or you don't.

811
00:34:52,760 --> 00:34:54,040
Speaker 3: No one's going to be there for you. But you know,

812
00:34:54,160 --> 00:34:56,040
Speaker 3: you got to do everything on your own. I'm saying,

813
00:34:56,080 --> 00:34:59,239
Speaker 3: like certain seasons, but you just gotta take a good

814
00:34:59,239 --> 00:35:01,480
Speaker 3: look in the mirror and be like, hey, are you

815
00:35:01,560 --> 00:35:04,160
Speaker 3: about this walk of Christ? Bro? Or you just you're

816
00:35:04,200 --> 00:35:06,239
Speaker 3: just one of those you know, talk talks and action,

817
00:35:06,440 --> 00:35:08,799
Speaker 3: you know what I mean. So even now, like even

818
00:35:08,840 --> 00:35:10,879
Speaker 3: now me and my walk now, Man, definitely know where

819
00:35:10,880 --> 00:35:13,200
Speaker 3: I want to be, Bro. But one thing I'm blessed

820
00:35:13,200 --> 00:35:15,840
Speaker 3: about is I'm definitely not where I used to be, Amen,

821
00:35:16,440 --> 00:35:18,920
Speaker 3: And I still go through through trials. Man, I'm still

822
00:35:19,080 --> 00:35:22,719
Speaker 3: even now, I'm still going through a healing process with

823
00:35:22,960 --> 00:35:25,399
Speaker 3: like drinking and stuff like that. Man being clean enough

824
00:35:25,440 --> 00:35:28,879
Speaker 3: for say three three four weeks. So it's very very

825
00:35:29,800 --> 00:35:32,520
Speaker 3: very still very what you say, fresh fresh man. But

826
00:35:33,200 --> 00:35:35,200
Speaker 3: like I said, Man, I'm not trying to be perfect. No,

827
00:35:35,520 --> 00:35:37,920
Speaker 3: I can't be prittident if were perfect, there's no that

828
00:35:38,000 --> 00:35:38,719
Speaker 3: we need.

829
00:35:38,640 --> 00:35:40,600
Speaker 2: For don't need for grace.

830
00:35:40,800 --> 00:35:42,759
Speaker 3: I'm still here. I'm still here trying my best every

831
00:35:42,800 --> 00:35:44,880
Speaker 3: single day, man. And there's certain things that I go

832
00:35:44,960 --> 00:35:47,680
Speaker 3: through in life, brother, that sort of struggle with and

833
00:35:47,760 --> 00:35:50,120
Speaker 3: that sort of keeping it. And it's like pornography is

834
00:35:50,120 --> 00:35:53,680
Speaker 3: all men. You know, I struggle with that stuff. And

835
00:35:53,719 --> 00:35:55,319
Speaker 3: it's only by the grace of God that I'm still

836
00:35:55,360 --> 00:35:57,480
Speaker 3: here now, you know what I mean. And Man, there's

837
00:35:57,480 --> 00:36:03,960
Speaker 3: one I will never I'll never stop loving God, man,

838
00:36:05,120 --> 00:36:07,600
Speaker 3: bro through through every single season. Man. Even even when

839
00:36:07,640 --> 00:36:10,319
Speaker 3: I've neglected my faith, even when I told him I

840
00:36:10,360 --> 00:36:12,759
Speaker 3: hate him. Man, maybe you're not good, maybe you're like

841
00:36:12,840 --> 00:36:15,480
Speaker 3: you break my marriage this and that God has always

842
00:36:15,480 --> 00:36:17,160
Speaker 3: been there for me and showed me love even when

843
00:36:17,160 --> 00:36:18,560
Speaker 3: I haven't seen him, you know what I mean, even

844
00:36:18,560 --> 00:36:20,799
Speaker 3: when I haven't felt him. He's always been there, you know.

845
00:36:20,880 --> 00:36:23,960
Speaker 3: And God's been so faithful in my life, bro, you know.

846
00:36:24,120 --> 00:36:25,600
Speaker 3: And I know there's certain things in my life that

847
00:36:25,640 --> 00:36:27,560
Speaker 3: I'm doing, Bro that's not aligned with the purpose that

848
00:36:27,560 --> 00:36:29,799
Speaker 3: He has over my life. Man, But I know he

849
00:36:29,840 --> 00:36:33,759
Speaker 3: still loves me, you know. And and it's one thing

850
00:36:33,960 --> 00:36:37,880
Speaker 3: that I also that's that's that I've learned this warman,

851
00:36:38,040 --> 00:36:41,560
Speaker 3: is the comparison with your faith, you know. And it

852
00:36:41,640 --> 00:36:44,120
Speaker 3: says like like you said him, like in the world too. Man,

853
00:36:44,120 --> 00:36:47,040
Speaker 3: the biggest kill off dreams is you have comparison. You know. Yeah,

854
00:36:47,239 --> 00:36:49,319
Speaker 3: that happens as well in your walk as well. You'd

855
00:36:49,320 --> 00:36:51,160
Speaker 3: be like, oh, bro, I come, how come Jay's faith?

856
00:36:58,560 --> 00:37:00,799
Speaker 2: But I actually had to die were down on talking

857
00:37:00,800 --> 00:37:03,880
Speaker 2: about Bible versus because everyone started asking me for advice.

858
00:37:03,960 --> 00:37:05,040
Speaker 3: I'm like, oh, far.

859
00:37:10,400 --> 00:37:12,799
Speaker 2: These and it is on the rules are doing they're

860
00:37:12,800 --> 00:37:17,120
Speaker 2: doing too much, but they're doing ot on me. Shout

861
00:37:17,120 --> 00:37:19,960
Speaker 2: out to the edit and they're making us. But I

862
00:37:20,080 --> 00:37:23,080
Speaker 2: gotta say the word man, like a couple of the

863
00:37:23,120 --> 00:37:25,680
Speaker 2: things that I wanted to bring up, knowing that you're

864
00:37:25,719 --> 00:37:28,759
Speaker 2: going to come on completely. You've caught me off guard

865
00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:32,400
Speaker 2: with your your story of your faith, because now I

866
00:37:32,400 --> 00:37:35,600
Speaker 2: feel like there's something so much more important to talk about,

867
00:37:35,880 --> 00:37:38,279
Speaker 2: and I don't even give a rats about what the

868
00:37:38,360 --> 00:37:40,640
Speaker 2: other stuff anymore. I want to talk more about this

869
00:37:40,719 --> 00:37:44,520
Speaker 2: because as a father and a husband myself, the story

870
00:37:44,520 --> 00:37:47,759
Speaker 2: that you've told me, I'm one hundred percent sure that

871
00:37:48,000 --> 00:37:50,280
Speaker 2: nine out of ten boys are listening to our podcast

872
00:37:50,480 --> 00:37:53,080
Speaker 2: has is either has been through this or is going

873
00:37:53,080 --> 00:37:56,640
Speaker 2: for it right now. It's going to go for it

874
00:37:56,680 --> 00:37:59,480
Speaker 2: in the future. This is not far fetched. The rack

875
00:37:59,560 --> 00:38:02,400
Speaker 2: benders and then coming home to having your clothes outside,

876
00:38:02,680 --> 00:38:05,839
Speaker 2: even I can relate to when you said that, you know,

877
00:38:05,960 --> 00:38:11,040
Speaker 2: it's it's it's there's an issue. When your missus is issues. Calm, bro,

878
00:38:11,239 --> 00:38:13,960
Speaker 2: that's that's when they that's when you're in trouble. Because

879
00:38:14,000 --> 00:38:16,440
Speaker 2: I remember I used to go on rack benders and stuff,

880
00:38:16,440 --> 00:38:18,520
Speaker 2: and I used to always say to the boys when

881
00:38:18,520 --> 00:38:20,560
Speaker 2: I'm out, because the boy used to say, Bro, what's

882
00:38:20,600 --> 00:38:22,640
Speaker 2: your missus gonna say? I'm like, ah, don't worry. By

883
00:38:22,680 --> 00:38:25,000
Speaker 2: the I got that shut up money. Likes what I

884
00:38:25,040 --> 00:38:27,080
Speaker 2: always say, I've got that shut up money. By that,

885
00:38:27,080 --> 00:38:29,680
Speaker 2: don't worry. And then one of those days I went

886
00:38:29,760 --> 00:38:33,840
Speaker 2: back dog or she was so calm, and he's scared

887
00:38:33,880 --> 00:38:36,719
Speaker 2: the shit out of me, scared the shit out of me,

888
00:38:37,000 --> 00:38:39,560
Speaker 2: Like I will come and and I'll be like, I'll

889
00:38:39,600 --> 00:38:42,960
Speaker 2: try to just spuck up and the argument we're having yesterday,

890
00:38:43,080 --> 00:38:45,319
Speaker 2: I'm like, Yeah, what were you talking about? This day?

891
00:38:45,400 --> 00:38:48,600
Speaker 2: She'd be like, oh, nothing, and she goes, I'm just

892
00:38:48,600 --> 00:38:50,360
Speaker 2: gonna let you know now that I don't think that

893
00:38:50,440 --> 00:38:52,200
Speaker 2: this is going to work out. Bro. That hit me

894
00:38:52,320 --> 00:38:54,399
Speaker 2: like a truck, not because of what she said, by

895
00:38:54,440 --> 00:38:57,640
Speaker 2: how calm she was when she said it, and Bro, like, Bro,

896
00:38:57,680 --> 00:38:59,600
Speaker 2: I had goosebumps when you're telling me the story, because

897
00:38:59,640 --> 00:39:02,759
Speaker 2: that easily could have been me. Easily is me to

898
00:39:02,800 --> 00:39:06,200
Speaker 2: be honest, like, I've been through those exact moments, like

899
00:39:06,280 --> 00:39:08,359
Speaker 2: even the one where you said that you threw the

900
00:39:08,400 --> 00:39:11,440
Speaker 2: control at the war and things like that. Man, Like,

901
00:39:11,880 --> 00:39:14,439
Speaker 2: I'm so happy that you've you've brought that story out

902
00:39:14,800 --> 00:39:17,160
Speaker 2: on this podcast, because I know a lot of us,

903
00:39:17,160 --> 00:39:19,960
Speaker 2: even my brothers. Malik was just saying, like how the

904
00:39:20,040 --> 00:39:22,759
Speaker 2: Kim and Ronnie they were going through something similar. And

905
00:39:22,840 --> 00:39:24,920
Speaker 2: even when you were saying like how you were blaming

906
00:39:24,960 --> 00:39:28,200
Speaker 2: God and you're you're anger at God. Look, we had

907
00:39:28,239 --> 00:39:31,120
Speaker 2: this conversation. Remember you were telling me that you you

908
00:39:31,200 --> 00:39:33,440
Speaker 2: were like angry at Call for a lot of things.

909
00:39:33,239 --> 00:39:35,800
Speaker 1: A lot of the reasons. I ended up in jail

910
00:39:36,080 --> 00:39:40,439
Speaker 1: because similar to you, I was rebelling against the law

911
00:39:40,960 --> 00:39:43,759
Speaker 1: when I was young, and close towards when I went

912
00:39:43,760 --> 00:39:47,120
Speaker 1: to jail, I split the suite and attains. I was like,

913
00:39:47,160 --> 00:39:50,200
Speaker 1: we're doing music. Now we're going to leave the streets behind. Fuck,

914
00:39:50,280 --> 00:39:51,919
Speaker 1: I'll go one hundred and then.

915
00:39:52,400 --> 00:39:54,080
Speaker 3: You know, on the good books.

916
00:39:54,760 --> 00:39:57,759
Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, a change comes from

917
00:39:57,760 --> 00:39:58,479
Speaker 1: two years ago.

918
00:39:59,200 --> 00:39:59,560
Speaker 3: That's it.

919
00:40:00,040 --> 00:40:01,680
Speaker 1: For those of you don't know my childs. When I

920
00:40:01,719 --> 00:40:03,480
Speaker 1: went in for jail for two years, there were the

921
00:40:03,560 --> 00:40:07,680
Speaker 1: childs that came up two years beforehand, and I was dirty.

922
00:40:07,719 --> 00:40:10,319
Speaker 1: I was like, this changed, and now you're sending me

923
00:40:10,360 --> 00:40:12,480
Speaker 1: back to jail. I said, God, you do know you're

924
00:40:12,480 --> 00:40:15,080
Speaker 1: sending me back to jail when I come back out, gangster,

925
00:40:15,480 --> 00:40:17,200
Speaker 1: and I'm never coming back to you, you know what I mean?

926
00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:21,080
Speaker 1: And yeah, that's pretty much. I could really relate to

927
00:40:21,120 --> 00:40:22,799
Speaker 1: you when you said you were blaming God, Like, fuck,

928
00:40:22,840 --> 00:40:23,879
Speaker 1: what's the point of being good?

929
00:40:23,960 --> 00:40:26,080
Speaker 3: Yeah? Yeah, I was being good and then you just

930
00:40:26,160 --> 00:40:26,640
Speaker 3: let me go.

931
00:40:27,640 --> 00:40:31,399
Speaker 2: And then it's funny because I remember a conversation like yesterday, Lad,

932
00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:34,279
Speaker 2: when I was drinking with this guy and he was

933
00:40:34,280 --> 00:40:36,400
Speaker 2: fresh out of prison, and he was just saying, I

934
00:40:36,440 --> 00:40:38,359
Speaker 2: saw my God. And then I could see this guy

935
00:40:38,480 --> 00:40:40,799
Speaker 2: shaking his head. I'm like, what is it door. That's

936
00:40:40,840 --> 00:40:43,040
Speaker 2: when he said, nah, Lad, and then we started talking

937
00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:45,960
Speaker 2: about He started saying, like, bro, if God, if God

938
00:40:46,080 --> 00:40:48,200
Speaker 2: wasn't around, and why did this happen? Why did that happen?

939
00:40:48,880 --> 00:40:52,040
Speaker 2: Will talk to the sunrise? Mind you? We want to be.

940
00:40:53,960 --> 00:40:55,640
Speaker 3: I don't want to. I don't want to.

941
00:40:55,680 --> 00:40:57,520
Speaker 2: I don't want to act like I was saving his life.

942
00:41:00,200 --> 00:41:04,120
Speaker 2: We were like too lost in the garage until the

943
00:41:04,120 --> 00:41:06,719
Speaker 2: birds who are singing? But you know what I do,

944
00:41:07,719 --> 00:41:10,040
Speaker 2: I do think. I do think that a lot of

945
00:41:10,080 --> 00:41:13,120
Speaker 2: the conversations that we did have on our vender's not

946
00:41:13,120 --> 00:41:15,560
Speaker 2: not that you can only have these conversations when you're

947
00:41:15,600 --> 00:41:18,279
Speaker 2: on vendors, but a lot of the conversations I've had

948
00:41:18,320 --> 00:41:21,080
Speaker 2: with my brothers we hold close to our hearts even today.

949
00:41:21,440 --> 00:41:24,400
Speaker 2: There's some things that you talk about in those garages

950
00:41:24,440 --> 00:41:27,640
Speaker 2: that just never leaves you because even under all of

951
00:41:27,680 --> 00:41:31,440
Speaker 2: that influence, at the end of the day, you know

952
00:41:31,520 --> 00:41:33,760
Speaker 2: that your brother is speaking to you, like he's speaking

953
00:41:33,800 --> 00:41:35,920
Speaker 2: life to you, and like he won't say this stuff

954
00:41:35,960 --> 00:41:38,480
Speaker 2: to you like how a random would. He's saying this

955
00:41:38,560 --> 00:41:40,920
Speaker 2: to you like out of good or so I think.

956
00:41:41,040 --> 00:41:44,880
Speaker 2: I hope so, I hope so. But it's amazing that

957
00:41:45,040 --> 00:41:46,880
Speaker 2: a lot of the things that you're saying, from your story,

958
00:41:46,920 --> 00:41:49,360
Speaker 2: we correlate to it that we relate to a lot

959
00:41:49,440 --> 00:41:50,040
Speaker 2: lot of things.

960
00:41:50,640 --> 00:41:53,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, but yeah, what was he saying. Now, it's the

961
00:41:53,880 --> 00:41:56,200
Speaker 1: same than that because it's actually happening in a lot

962
00:41:56,200 --> 00:41:56,640
Speaker 1: of family.

963
00:41:57,320 --> 00:41:59,920
Speaker 2: This is happening what you were saying is happening with

964
00:42:00,120 --> 00:42:03,160
Speaker 2: a lot of young Islanders. And there's something so dangerous

965
00:42:03,239 --> 00:42:08,600
Speaker 2: about rack benders because it starts off nice. It starts off, Oh,

966
00:42:08,800 --> 00:42:10,680
Speaker 2: have a couple of lines. You know this will be

967
00:42:10,719 --> 00:42:13,279
Speaker 2: all right. But blood, it creeps in like it's like

968
00:42:13,320 --> 00:42:16,080
Speaker 2: the Bibles is brother. They're all like, he's sneaky, lad.

969
00:42:16,400 --> 00:42:19,000
Speaker 2: He just creeps in. He makes you comfortable with it first,

970
00:42:19,160 --> 00:42:21,239
Speaker 2: makes you feel like you can handle it. You gotta

971
00:42:21,280 --> 00:42:24,279
Speaker 2: under control. All of a sudden you're close out the

972
00:42:24,280 --> 00:42:26,440
Speaker 2: front of your house and you don't even know, Like

973
00:42:26,760 --> 00:42:29,279
Speaker 2: I had that exact feeling that you had. Like, Bro,

974
00:42:29,440 --> 00:42:32,040
Speaker 2: when I'm on a Sunday morning, because it's always a

975
00:42:32,080 --> 00:42:35,399
Speaker 2: Saturday Sunday morning, my kids are getting ready and then

976
00:42:35,600 --> 00:42:37,920
Speaker 2: I'll just I'll just look at myself and I'll just

977
00:42:37,920 --> 00:42:42,200
Speaker 2: think I'm a grounk bro like far, Like it hits

978
00:42:42,239 --> 00:42:45,279
Speaker 2: hard because they're getting ready for the like church, and that,

979
00:42:45,360 --> 00:42:47,680
Speaker 2: and you know where they're going, and you're sitting there

980
00:42:47,680 --> 00:42:49,719
Speaker 2: on a big come doown and you're watching them and

981
00:42:49,760 --> 00:42:52,440
Speaker 2: you're like, what a grounk I am? Bro? Like what

982
00:42:52,480 --> 00:42:54,560
Speaker 2: am I doing? And you can only do that so

983
00:42:54,600 --> 00:42:56,799
Speaker 2: many times before your missus is like, bro, why am

984
00:42:56,800 --> 00:42:58,000
Speaker 2: I with this loser? You know?

985
00:42:58,360 --> 00:42:58,560
Speaker 3: Which?

986
00:42:58,680 --> 00:43:02,040
Speaker 2: Fair enough? Bro? Come on fairy enough? Like Bro, If

987
00:43:02,080 --> 00:43:03,920
Speaker 2: you're going to be doing that over and over and

988
00:43:03,960 --> 00:43:07,279
Speaker 2: over again, bro, it's it's gonna catch up to you,

989
00:43:07,280 --> 00:43:09,799
Speaker 2: you know, And then what are you think it is?

990
00:43:09,880 --> 00:43:14,200
Speaker 2: That about the these so so with alcohol, I've spoken

991
00:43:14,320 --> 00:43:19,560
Speaker 2: against obviously getting drunk, so drinking alcohol, I'm just gonna

992
00:43:19,560 --> 00:43:21,680
Speaker 2: say now, like obviously violand is, it's hard for us

993
00:43:21,719 --> 00:43:24,000
Speaker 2: to control it. That's why I say, if you can't

994
00:43:24,000 --> 00:43:26,640
Speaker 2: control it, just don't drink. But for me, I had to.

995
00:43:26,840 --> 00:43:29,040
Speaker 2: I had to be sober for a while. I wasn't

996
00:43:29,040 --> 00:43:31,680
Speaker 2: counting the days or anything like people usually do, but

997
00:43:31,719 --> 00:43:33,560
Speaker 2: I just had to tell myself that it's not part

998
00:43:33,600 --> 00:43:36,520
Speaker 2: of my identity anymore until I'll be able to conquer it,

999
00:43:36,960 --> 00:43:40,640
Speaker 2: you know, like to so for me, I'm against getting wasted,

1000
00:43:41,000 --> 00:43:43,719
Speaker 2: wasted off your face because once you get wasted that's

1001
00:43:43,760 --> 00:43:45,680
Speaker 2: when you're like, I need to take a trip to

1002
00:43:45,719 --> 00:43:48,399
Speaker 2: the you know, to the bathroom to pick myself up

1003
00:43:48,760 --> 00:43:50,799
Speaker 2: because I couldn't. I couldn't have those you know how

1004
00:43:50,800 --> 00:43:53,720
Speaker 2: people usually say, oh, just a couple of beers the lungs.

1005
00:43:54,320 --> 00:43:56,920
Speaker 2: You can't. We can't do that, lad, we can't do that.

1006
00:43:57,960 --> 00:43:59,239
Speaker 2: Once the horse he comes over.

1007
00:44:01,440 --> 00:44:06,040
Speaker 4: Oh, I'm glad, But I'm glad you you face your

1008
00:44:06,080 --> 00:44:08,000
Speaker 4: trials the way you did, and you handle it the

1009
00:44:08,000 --> 00:44:08,720
Speaker 4: way you did.

1010
00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:09,160
Speaker 2: You know.

1011
00:44:09,200 --> 00:44:12,760
Speaker 4: I think accountability is one of the most important things

1012
00:44:12,760 --> 00:44:15,760
Speaker 4: for a man to improve his life and his spiritual

1013
00:44:15,800 --> 00:44:16,399
Speaker 4: life as well.

1014
00:44:16,480 --> 00:44:19,080
Speaker 1: So and I will never like it. A lot of

1015
00:44:19,080 --> 00:44:21,000
Speaker 1: people think I'm confident now because I speak on a

1016
00:44:21,040 --> 00:44:23,960
Speaker 1: podcast and like similar things has happened to us in

1017
00:44:24,000 --> 00:44:26,640
Speaker 1: the past. But I will never have the boars, and

1018
00:44:26,640 --> 00:44:28,440
Speaker 1: I don't know any guys that will have the boars

1019
00:44:28,440 --> 00:44:30,719
Speaker 1: that actually openly speak it. But it's a thank you

1020
00:44:30,840 --> 00:44:34,799
Speaker 1: talk for I feel like this, this could help a

1021
00:44:34,800 --> 00:44:36,879
Speaker 1: lot of youngs out there. I didn't make up one

1022
00:44:36,960 --> 00:44:39,360
Speaker 1: video because there was young is reaching out to me.

1023
00:44:39,760 --> 00:44:42,279
Speaker 1: We're making a podcast about a whole different subject. My

1024
00:44:42,360 --> 00:44:45,120
Speaker 1: boys are reaching out saying going for a heartbreak I

1025
00:44:45,200 --> 00:44:48,560
Speaker 1: can go for broken relationship. Yeah, it's like, what guy

1026
00:44:48,680 --> 00:44:50,560
Speaker 1: or what guy talks about this stuff? There isn't it

1027
00:44:51,400 --> 00:44:55,759
Speaker 1: book for us to talk about broken heartbreaking? Yeah, one

1028
00:44:55,760 --> 00:44:58,080
Speaker 1: thing I might ask the like, because you probably do

1029
00:44:58,760 --> 00:45:03,560
Speaker 1: have a lot on this is just for that typical

1030
00:45:04,000 --> 00:45:06,799
Speaker 1: for a particular person like that guy that's going through

1031
00:45:06,800 --> 00:45:09,799
Speaker 1: that heartbreak or that broken relationship. Is there any sort

1032
00:45:09,840 --> 00:45:11,840
Speaker 1: of advice you could give to them.

1033
00:45:11,719 --> 00:45:15,680
Speaker 3: In any healing treatments along the way as man as

1034
00:45:15,760 --> 00:45:18,040
Speaker 3: cliche as it sounds, but it's it's the honest truth prose.

1035
00:45:18,600 --> 00:45:22,680
Speaker 3: It's just trusting gold men and surrounding yourself. No, not

1036
00:45:22,800 --> 00:45:24,800
Speaker 3: with your like your your close friends and that props,

1037
00:45:24,800 --> 00:45:29,120
Speaker 3: surrounding yourself of godly men and women. Bro, that's a

1038
00:45:29,120 --> 00:45:32,440
Speaker 3: big one because it's let me turn something bro Like,

1039
00:45:32,480 --> 00:45:34,319
Speaker 3: it's so easy because I've been on the both sides

1040
00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:36,239
Speaker 3: of this. It's so easy when one of your boys

1041
00:45:36,239 --> 00:45:38,279
Speaker 3: are going through something. And it's so easy for us

1042
00:45:38,280 --> 00:45:40,200
Speaker 3: as Islanders. But the first thing we say is like, hey,

1043
00:45:40,200 --> 00:45:46,600
Speaker 3: box Storm, I can't pick up go for a drinks

1044
00:45:47,360 --> 00:45:50,239
Speaker 3: me likes because it's I've been on both sides of

1045
00:45:50,239 --> 00:45:52,799
Speaker 3: the story, you know, and and and us as like

1046
00:45:53,080 --> 00:45:55,200
Speaker 3: us as boys men and as poly boys. But we think,

1047
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:58,200
Speaker 3: oh yeah, my dog was looking after me. But because yeah,

1048
00:45:58,440 --> 00:46:00,160
Speaker 3: just can't pick me up when when you're ready. And

1049
00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:02,200
Speaker 3: and then if like say it's me, like you know,

1050
00:46:02,520 --> 00:46:04,759
Speaker 3: I want to come pick you up doctors. You know,

1051
00:46:04,760 --> 00:46:06,080
Speaker 3: I know you're going through some stuff where I come.

1052
00:46:06,120 --> 00:46:07,719
Speaker 3: We'll go out, bro, We'll just go relax, have a

1053
00:46:07,719 --> 00:46:10,040
Speaker 3: few beers, men eat, We'll just you know, talking, just

1054
00:46:10,040 --> 00:46:12,479
Speaker 3: some catch up in it. But like in my head

1055
00:46:12,480 --> 00:46:14,480
Speaker 3: for me to say that is it. I say that

1056
00:46:14,560 --> 00:46:16,600
Speaker 3: because it's easier for me just to get you wasted

1057
00:46:16,680 --> 00:46:18,560
Speaker 3: that and then I don't have to listen to you,

1058
00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:22,640
Speaker 3: like talking about what you're going real stuff. Then you'll

1059
00:46:22,640 --> 00:46:24,879
Speaker 3: be you'll be wasted. Then you'll you'll start like having

1060
00:46:24,920 --> 00:46:26,560
Speaker 3: fun and stuff like that and be like, yeah, we'll

1061
00:46:26,560 --> 00:46:28,200
Speaker 3: go stripers and that. Bro, we'll go out there and

1062
00:46:28,239 --> 00:46:30,840
Speaker 3: go have a and then you wake up like you

1063
00:46:30,880 --> 00:46:32,439
Speaker 3: go in the next morning. You wake up the next

1064
00:46:32,440 --> 00:46:34,319
Speaker 3: morning and then like or just drop you off and

1065
00:46:34,360 --> 00:46:36,480
Speaker 3: then I'm back at home and I'm sweet. You know

1066
00:46:37,040 --> 00:46:40,640
Speaker 3: it's like you to talk about it, you know, yeah,

1067
00:46:40,680 --> 00:46:42,880
Speaker 3: And I think that that's a that's one thing that

1068
00:46:43,040 --> 00:46:47,200
Speaker 3: like us as Islanders. It is the I think we

1069
00:46:47,280 --> 00:46:49,839
Speaker 3: try to act like yeah, like some at some point

1070
00:46:50,040 --> 00:46:52,719
Speaker 3: it's easier for us just to go and drink because

1071
00:46:52,719 --> 00:46:57,480
Speaker 3: then we forget about it. Super down the rugg until

1072
00:46:57,480 --> 00:46:59,200
Speaker 3: you wake up the next morning and it just doubled up,

1073
00:46:59,239 --> 00:47:01,400
Speaker 3: you know what I mean, until the rug starts going up,

1074
00:47:01,480 --> 00:47:05,600
Speaker 3: like like yeah, man, that's it. I think I think

1075
00:47:05,600 --> 00:47:08,799
Speaker 3: the best like a healing thing that's that's helpful me

1076
00:47:09,400 --> 00:47:12,880
Speaker 3: is definitely being around the like the godly men and

1077
00:47:12,920 --> 00:47:17,400
Speaker 3: women that that actually actually want to hear you be vulnerable,

1078
00:47:17,440 --> 00:47:19,719
Speaker 3: you know. And one thing that I heard by there

1079
00:47:19,719 --> 00:47:21,560
Speaker 3: was a quote that I heard that in the in

1080
00:47:21,600 --> 00:47:25,320
Speaker 3: the world, they celebrate success, but in Christ, we celebrate vulnerability,

1081
00:47:25,880 --> 00:47:27,839
Speaker 3: you know. And that's one thing that I that's sort

1082
00:47:27,840 --> 00:47:29,960
Speaker 3: of that that not sort of sorry, that's helped me

1083
00:47:30,680 --> 00:47:32,960
Speaker 3: get through what I what I've been, what I went

1084
00:47:33,000 --> 00:47:37,719
Speaker 3: through was having someone that just wants to listen, having

1085
00:47:37,719 --> 00:47:39,800
Speaker 3: someone that just wants to listen to you, give you

1086
00:47:39,840 --> 00:47:42,200
Speaker 3: a shoulder to cry on, bro, and and just let

1087
00:47:42,239 --> 00:47:44,560
Speaker 3: it all out rather than holding it in.

1088
00:47:44,640 --> 00:47:44,759
Speaker 2: Bro.

1089
00:47:44,840 --> 00:47:46,799
Speaker 3: Then you know, I think that the worst thing for

1090
00:47:46,840 --> 00:47:49,560
Speaker 3: me was being at home, bro, Like being at home

1091
00:47:49,600 --> 00:47:51,480
Speaker 3: and just laying on the bed man and that's when

1092
00:47:51,560 --> 00:47:54,160
Speaker 3: everything and even like when i'm because I drive trucks

1093
00:47:54,160 --> 00:47:57,160
Speaker 3: for for for work, even driving the truck where that's

1094
00:47:57,160 --> 00:48:00,399
Speaker 3: where where sort of I suffered the most because yeah,

1095
00:48:02,280 --> 00:48:04,399
Speaker 3: just thinking while I'm driving and I'm just like got

1096
00:48:04,400 --> 00:48:06,520
Speaker 3: to a point but like I knew, I knew deep

1097
00:48:06,560 --> 00:48:09,080
Speaker 3: down that I will never do it, but just thinking

1098
00:48:09,080 --> 00:48:10,960
Speaker 3: about it, it's really bad enough, you know. Just I

1099
00:48:11,000 --> 00:48:13,160
Speaker 3: was just driving drive and I just think about just

1100
00:48:13,840 --> 00:48:16,719
Speaker 3: yanking the sterials to the left. That's sort of like

1101
00:48:17,760 --> 00:48:19,880
Speaker 3: sort of helped me like not do that.

1102
00:48:19,920 --> 00:48:20,040
Speaker 2: Bro.

1103
00:48:20,160 --> 00:48:23,000
Speaker 3: It's it's because my brother was in the true.

1104
00:48:25,239 --> 00:48:27,279
Speaker 5: If my mother was in I was going for dark times, Bro,

1105
00:48:27,320 --> 00:48:32,240
Speaker 5: I would have went faster. That's us yourself. I remember,

1106
00:48:32,239 --> 00:48:33,839
Speaker 5: and I've seen my brother that I've seen sleeping while

1107
00:48:33,840 --> 00:48:41,200
Speaker 5: I like something, I'm going through stuff here and you're sleeping. Yeah,

1108
00:48:41,520 --> 00:48:43,000
Speaker 5: like yeah, but I think.

1109
00:48:45,880 --> 00:48:48,080
Speaker 3: This is this is this is that we go up

1110
00:48:48,080 --> 00:48:53,200
Speaker 3: as brothers and family who sleep while going through stuff,

1111
00:48:53,200 --> 00:48:59,359
Speaker 3: but they can sleep permanently taxa side bay.

1112
00:48:59,400 --> 00:49:02,600
Speaker 1: It's CAZy. It's not that point where you're actually thinking

1113
00:49:02,640 --> 00:49:06,480
Speaker 1: of that very dangerous. And you did say I love

1114
00:49:06,520 --> 00:49:09,440
Speaker 1: that saying you bring up in the world they celebrate success.

1115
00:49:09,200 --> 00:49:09,520
Speaker 3: Yea.

1116
00:49:11,040 --> 00:49:16,200
Speaker 2: Vulnerability already in my head, screamshop bros, you already taken.

1117
00:49:18,040 --> 00:49:20,680
Speaker 2: I might have to cut that us I can use that.

1118
00:49:22,320 --> 00:49:24,960
Speaker 1: No, So so what is that? What exactly does that mean?

1119
00:49:25,000 --> 00:49:29,160
Speaker 1: In your own words? When the world celebrates success, give

1120
00:49:29,239 --> 00:49:33,640
Speaker 1: us a sort of pita that the audience can paint, Like.

1121
00:49:32,920 --> 00:49:37,520
Speaker 3: I say, like like a materialistic things. Yeah, like I'll

1122
00:49:37,600 --> 00:49:39,759
Speaker 3: judge you. You know what you're wearing or how much

1123
00:49:39,800 --> 00:49:42,839
Speaker 3: money you got, and like that's you as a person,

1124
00:49:42,960 --> 00:49:46,160
Speaker 3: so happy for you because of what you got. You know,

1125
00:49:46,200 --> 00:49:49,759
Speaker 3: what you have materialistic, So I don't even notice how

1126
00:49:49,800 --> 00:49:51,480
Speaker 3: you say about yeah, what you have, you know, like

1127
00:49:51,560 --> 00:49:54,080
Speaker 3: my cleaning that you're wearing. You know, that's what you'll

1128
00:49:54,120 --> 00:49:57,279
Speaker 3: be like, Hey, we made it, we made it, you know. Yeah,

1129
00:49:57,320 --> 00:49:58,719
Speaker 3: and you see it all the time, bro, heaps. So

1130
00:49:58,800 --> 00:50:00,840
Speaker 3: celebrities men they take their have to have everything in

1131
00:50:00,840 --> 00:50:02,719
Speaker 3: front of them, and they take their life because they

1132
00:50:03,320 --> 00:50:05,800
Speaker 3: never open up with the certain places that they're actually

1133
00:50:05,960 --> 00:50:09,120
Speaker 3: exactly trolling through trauma and you know, going what they're

1134
00:50:09,120 --> 00:50:12,480
Speaker 3: actually really going through, whereas people just see it your men, Look,

1135
00:50:12,520 --> 00:50:14,040
Speaker 3: this guy's all the money in the world is driving

1136
00:50:14,040 --> 00:50:16,040
Speaker 3: a lambot might be doing good, you know what I mean,

1137
00:50:17,080 --> 00:50:19,719
Speaker 3: Let's have a celebration brother, the dogle's doing good. But

1138
00:50:19,760 --> 00:50:23,239
Speaker 3: then you know, in Christ, all that pulled aside men,

1139
00:50:23,320 --> 00:50:25,399
Speaker 3: you know, pull a side brain and all we want

1140
00:50:25,400 --> 00:50:28,880
Speaker 3: to hear is you open up your hundred and and

1141
00:50:28,960 --> 00:50:31,480
Speaker 3: really ask what you're going through, you know, and really

1142
00:50:32,440 --> 00:50:35,120
Speaker 3: dig deep and and see if like, are you actually

1143
00:50:35,160 --> 00:50:37,480
Speaker 3: okay or he's just painting this picture that you're all right?

1144
00:50:38,080 --> 00:50:40,680
Speaker 3: And that's what I mean. Like in Christ, that's what

1145
00:50:40,760 --> 00:50:44,840
Speaker 3: we celebrate his men opening up, opening up, women, opening

1146
00:50:44,920 --> 00:50:50,239
Speaker 3: up and actually being being truthful about what you're really

1147
00:50:50,239 --> 00:50:54,200
Speaker 3: going through a picture of everything, and you know what

1148
00:50:54,280 --> 00:50:56,359
Speaker 3: I mean. And then you end up going going and

1149
00:50:56,760 --> 00:50:58,560
Speaker 3: like I said, take your taking your own life and

1150
00:50:58,560 --> 00:51:00,960
Speaker 3: stuff like that, don't you know guys.

1151
00:51:00,800 --> 00:51:02,600
Speaker 1: That's why I haven't my Bugatti yet.

1152
00:51:06,640 --> 00:51:10,040
Speaker 2: These guys have been celebrating, celebrate where what do you go?

1153
00:51:10,160 --> 00:51:16,080
Speaker 2: What are you going? Celebrating vulnerability now? But you know

1154
00:51:16,120 --> 00:51:19,680
Speaker 2: what the more over to what we were talking about before,

1155
00:51:19,680 --> 00:51:22,680
Speaker 2: which correlates to what you just said, a lot of

1156
00:51:22,719 --> 00:51:26,160
Speaker 2: people that we get on the podcast that it's it's

1157
00:51:26,160 --> 00:51:29,360
Speaker 2: frightening for them at first, because not only the podcast setting,

1158
00:51:29,400 --> 00:51:33,600
Speaker 2: but also who we represent now as brothers on the

1159
00:51:33,680 --> 00:51:37,400
Speaker 2: social media huge like the way people see us and

1160
00:51:37,440 --> 00:51:40,799
Speaker 2: they ask us for advice, but not everyone knows dog

1161
00:51:40,920 --> 00:51:43,600
Speaker 2: we're normal, like we're just like you guys, and our

1162
00:51:43,640 --> 00:51:46,920
Speaker 2: struggles are still fresh, exactly like yours. We struggle with

1163
00:51:46,960 --> 00:51:49,920
Speaker 2: the same things as all the brothers. We struggle with alcohol,

1164
00:51:50,000 --> 00:51:54,000
Speaker 2: with pornography, the same things. But the best thing about

1165
00:51:54,120 --> 00:51:57,120
Speaker 2: us bringing it our conversations here to light is for

1166
00:51:57,360 --> 00:52:00,640
Speaker 2: just for conversations, like because people can see that, oh,

1167
00:52:00,760 --> 00:52:03,120
Speaker 2: you know, these guys are like, these guys are going

1168
00:52:03,160 --> 00:52:05,000
Speaker 2: for the same thing as us. The only reason why

1169
00:52:05,040 --> 00:52:07,720
Speaker 2: we're confident is exactly what you're saying is our faith

1170
00:52:07,719 --> 00:52:09,880
Speaker 2: in God. I would have never had the guts or

1171
00:52:09,880 --> 00:52:12,919
Speaker 2: the balls to jump in front of a camera and say, hey, look,

1172
00:52:12,960 --> 00:52:15,960
Speaker 2: I'm a grunk, I've done this, I've done that because

1173
00:52:15,960 --> 00:52:18,759
Speaker 2: on my ego, my ego before wouldn't allow me to

1174
00:52:18,800 --> 00:52:22,000
Speaker 2: show any chinks in my armor. I wanted everyone to

1175
00:52:22,040 --> 00:52:24,200
Speaker 2: know that I'm Bruce willis still with it. I'm a man.

1176
00:52:24,239 --> 00:52:27,160
Speaker 2: You know, I'm untouchable. But then you know what, when you,

1177
00:52:27,200 --> 00:52:29,400
Speaker 2: like you said, when you find your identity in God

1178
00:52:29,760 --> 00:52:32,799
Speaker 2: and you know that that's the purpose we serve for. Bro.

1179
00:52:33,120 --> 00:52:35,839
Speaker 2: We don't care, like we've said so many stupid things

1180
00:52:35,880 --> 00:52:37,960
Speaker 2: about ourselves on this podcast, and we don't care do

1181
00:52:38,080 --> 00:52:41,160
Speaker 2: well because we know the purpose that we're serving for Door.

1182
00:52:41,160 --> 00:52:46,880
Speaker 2: It's greater than us. Bro. And speaking of it, and

1183
00:52:46,920 --> 00:52:49,440
Speaker 2: speaking of social media as well, you've had a lot

1184
00:52:49,440 --> 00:52:54,560
Speaker 2: of interesting reels on Instagram, dogg or you've been famous

1185
00:52:54,600 --> 00:53:01,840
Speaker 2: following the Pacific Championship. For those who don't know, I

1186
00:53:01,840 --> 00:53:05,400
Speaker 2: think everyone knows. One of the reals where popping that

1187
00:53:05,440 --> 00:53:09,040
Speaker 2: you were doing. Obviously on the last podcast, we're talking

1188
00:53:09,080 --> 00:53:13,080
Speaker 2: about the banter between Toma and some more. Uh. Some

1189
00:53:13,120 --> 00:53:15,279
Speaker 2: of it is friendly, some of it is a bit

1190
00:53:15,360 --> 00:53:19,040
Speaker 2: not so friendly. What can you say being someone that

1191
00:53:19,200 --> 00:53:23,200
Speaker 2: contributed to a lot of the amusement is it is

1192
00:53:23,239 --> 00:53:26,600
Speaker 2: the levels to differentiate friendly banter and unfriendly banter.

1193
00:53:27,480 --> 00:53:31,359
Speaker 3: I'm still trying to learn myself, I replied, because well,

1194
00:53:31,760 --> 00:53:34,600
Speaker 3: I've replied once and then one guys like guys, I've

1195
00:53:34,640 --> 00:53:36,200
Speaker 3: replied to one guy before me, and I feel what

1196
00:53:36,480 --> 00:53:38,879
Speaker 3: it was about. But I just remember replying to many

1197
00:53:38,920 --> 00:53:41,200
Speaker 3: and he was like messages back, like I like, man,

1198
00:53:41,239 --> 00:53:43,640
Speaker 3: it was only a joke. I like I subscribe to channels.

1199
00:53:43,640 --> 00:53:46,439
Speaker 3: I love all your cond Oh. I just thought because

1200
00:53:46,480 --> 00:53:48,239
Speaker 3: you bent your little cousin and they're like, I can

1201
00:53:48,280 --> 00:53:50,320
Speaker 3: do it back to you, you know what I mean, Like,

1202
00:53:50,560 --> 00:53:56,040
Speaker 3: but I want to write to him somehow his message,

1203
00:53:56,080 --> 00:54:00,239
Speaker 3: I was like, yeah, right now, I'm still learning. Stick

1204
00:54:00,280 --> 00:54:03,719
Speaker 3: for me. Just don't even reply, but read everything. But

1205
00:54:03,760 --> 00:54:06,840
Speaker 3: I read everything, but some stuff I'm just like you.

1206
00:54:06,960 --> 00:54:07,640
Speaker 3: He's ever replied.

1207
00:54:07,640 --> 00:54:12,040
Speaker 2: Come, but but I really think, like, because I watched

1208
00:54:12,040 --> 00:54:14,200
Speaker 2: a couple of yours, I don't know if you had heaps.

1209
00:54:15,000 --> 00:54:16,640
Speaker 2: There was a few you had and you were quick.

1210
00:54:16,680 --> 00:54:17,520
Speaker 2: You were fast.

1211
00:54:18,200 --> 00:54:18,359
Speaker 3: Bro.

1212
00:54:18,520 --> 00:54:20,799
Speaker 2: The game finished and there was like there was one

1213
00:54:20,840 --> 00:54:22,880
Speaker 2: real and Bro, I went to share it and went

1214
00:54:22,920 --> 00:54:24,840
Speaker 2: on your prop pile and there was another one and I.

1215
00:54:24,719 --> 00:54:29,280
Speaker 3: Was like, holy remember it was somewhere game. But everyone,

1216
00:54:29,320 --> 00:54:31,600
Speaker 3: like I was always speaking to earlier, I was like,

1217
00:54:31,800 --> 00:54:36,759
Speaker 3: everyone thought that I had it all saved. No, man,

1218
00:54:37,280 --> 00:54:40,000
Speaker 3: this was off the top of the dome. But this

1219
00:54:40,120 --> 00:54:41,840
Speaker 3: was like the day after after tom and day is

1220
00:54:41,880 --> 00:54:43,920
Speaker 3: also after watching the game. Then I was like, bro,

1221
00:54:44,000 --> 00:54:45,560
Speaker 3: as soon as I watched the game, and they ended

1222
00:54:45,640 --> 00:54:48,239
Speaker 3: up bleasing by shut up because I copped it. After

1223
00:54:48,320 --> 00:54:51,600
Speaker 3: the after the Thomas sawned more game than the than

1224
00:54:51,640 --> 00:54:54,319
Speaker 3: them Q game. Bro copped them for like two weeks.

1225
00:54:54,360 --> 00:54:57,920
Speaker 3: But I have this still something haven't even opened it.

1226
00:54:59,880 --> 00:55:01,759
Speaker 3: I I just hate something like, Bro, if you gotta

1227
00:55:01,800 --> 00:55:04,560
Speaker 3: take the l Yeah, all I did was just you know,

1228
00:55:04,760 --> 00:55:06,200
Speaker 3: just like butt. It looked like I was you know,

1229
00:55:06,239 --> 00:55:07,880
Speaker 3: I was still all right with the with the losses

1230
00:55:07,920 --> 00:55:09,759
Speaker 3: and that kept uplady stuff about like the tongue and tea.

1231
00:55:09,840 --> 00:55:16,560
Speaker 3: But yeah, disgusting. I want to say, lost, Bro. I

1232
00:55:16,600 --> 00:55:19,040
Speaker 3: went up stairs. I remember the tongue and shirt. I

1233
00:55:19,080 --> 00:55:21,000
Speaker 3: watched you Tom. He was already in the wash. I

1234
00:55:21,120 --> 00:55:22,680
Speaker 3: was like, I wait down stairs, grabbed that out of

1235
00:55:22,719 --> 00:55:27,160
Speaker 3: the laundry when I was ready wet. Yeah. Just to

1236
00:55:27,400 --> 00:55:30,160
Speaker 3: the videos and that, yeah yeah, but like I think

1237
00:55:30,239 --> 00:55:32,319
Speaker 3: two of the videos, one of the videos was they

1238
00:55:32,360 --> 00:55:34,160
Speaker 3: were like there were like comments and I just added

1239
00:55:34,239 --> 00:55:34,560
Speaker 3: into it.

1240
00:55:35,320 --> 00:55:38,919
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah. You know what I have to say

1241
00:55:39,040 --> 00:55:42,920
Speaker 2: from seeing a lot of the banter, bro Islanders are

1242
00:55:43,000 --> 00:55:46,239
Speaker 2: so creative when it comes to roasting, Like, man, it

1243
00:55:46,400 --> 00:55:50,480
Speaker 2: is not made for the faint hearted. Bro. Like just

1244
00:55:50,719 --> 00:55:53,400
Speaker 2: some of the videos, the reals, especially for this cass Or,

1245
00:55:53,480 --> 00:55:56,960
Speaker 2: like it's so clever, lad, like the way like I

1246
00:55:57,000 --> 00:55:59,320
Speaker 2: think That's what toughens up a lot of Islanders because

1247
00:55:59,400 --> 00:56:01,200
Speaker 2: of how we host each other when we're he young,

1248
00:56:01,360 --> 00:56:03,640
Speaker 2: you know, because it's because it quick.

1249
00:56:03,719 --> 00:56:05,960
Speaker 1: The thing I love about your contents. It's all like

1250
00:56:06,239 --> 00:56:09,000
Speaker 1: raw authent and I think that's what a lot of

1251
00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:12,040
Speaker 1: people love about you. And you've also got a YouTube

1252
00:56:12,120 --> 00:56:15,719
Speaker 1: channel and you actually inspire a lot of Yeah, I

1253
00:56:15,760 --> 00:56:18,439
Speaker 1: think boys love the fact that you're open about your life.

1254
00:56:20,400 --> 00:56:22,600
Speaker 1: Just say the people know or actually know. I'll put

1255
00:56:22,640 --> 00:56:25,080
Speaker 1: your link for YouTube channel because a lot of people

1256
00:56:25,200 --> 00:56:27,839
Speaker 1: can can get inspired from this guy and the way

1257
00:56:27,880 --> 00:56:31,200
Speaker 1: you are. And just before we come towards the end,

1258
00:56:31,239 --> 00:56:33,960
Speaker 1: that actually flew, Bro, that actually flew.

1259
00:56:35,520 --> 00:56:38,160
Speaker 2: Yeah, we got our made in the back just gave

1260
00:56:38,200 --> 00:56:39,360
Speaker 2: you the signal five minutes.

1261
00:56:40,480 --> 00:56:44,839
Speaker 1: Just why audience that watching? Then, is any like last

1262
00:56:44,920 --> 00:56:47,840
Speaker 1: message you could leave with people or what type of

1263
00:56:48,200 --> 00:56:50,080
Speaker 1: so can you can you also tell us what type

1264
00:56:50,080 --> 00:56:52,000
Speaker 1: of content you're going to be coming up with in

1265
00:56:52,080 --> 00:56:54,920
Speaker 1: the upcoming weeks just to keep the audience tuned in,

1266
00:56:55,440 --> 00:56:57,200
Speaker 1: And what's that last message.

1267
00:56:56,840 --> 00:57:01,000
Speaker 3: You could give the audience? Think, oh, the continents that

1268
00:57:01,080 --> 00:57:03,480
Speaker 3: I've got coming up? Yeah, I do have stuff for

1269
00:57:03,600 --> 00:57:07,359
Speaker 3: like projects in the in the works, in the works word,

1270
00:57:07,400 --> 00:57:10,480
Speaker 3: But I think it's more for me. My main goal

1271
00:57:10,560 --> 00:57:12,319
Speaker 3: in content is just to be able to get paid,

1272
00:57:12,360 --> 00:57:14,239
Speaker 3: to be a blessing to others, to help others. So

1273
00:57:14,960 --> 00:57:18,160
Speaker 3: I think I've only bring it up once in livestream,

1274
00:57:18,280 --> 00:57:21,280
Speaker 3: like because on YouTube one of the one of the

1275
00:57:21,560 --> 00:57:23,080
Speaker 3: contents that are coming up is going to be called

1276
00:57:23,120 --> 00:57:24,920
Speaker 3: hands on And it's all it is is just me

1277
00:57:25,080 --> 00:57:27,400
Speaker 3: going around. Rather they're going to do food views and

1278
00:57:27,440 --> 00:57:29,200
Speaker 3: all that stuff like that. Man, it's more just going

1279
00:57:29,240 --> 00:57:33,040
Speaker 3: around and seeing people that the work that they're doing

1280
00:57:33,080 --> 00:57:36,720
Speaker 3: and they're sort of that they're struggling to like the

1281
00:57:36,840 --> 00:57:41,040
Speaker 3: work that they struggle doing. Basically just shadow around them

1282
00:57:41,080 --> 00:57:43,080
Speaker 3: and do that work, you know. And and eventually so

1283
00:57:43,160 --> 00:57:45,600
Speaker 3: this is like nine or five is yeah, and whatever,

1284
00:57:46,840 --> 00:57:48,560
Speaker 3: you know, like even like concrete and stuff like that,

1285
00:57:48,680 --> 00:57:50,800
Speaker 3: just going and and putting myself out there and doing

1286
00:57:50,840 --> 00:57:53,040
Speaker 3: what they're doing and sort of get a background on

1287
00:57:53,560 --> 00:57:56,000
Speaker 3: the experience and even the background of like how they

1288
00:57:56,040 --> 00:57:58,240
Speaker 3: started their company, what it is, what do they do,

1289
00:57:58,320 --> 00:58:00,480
Speaker 3: and they instead of a day life, will be a

1290
00:58:00,600 --> 00:58:02,400
Speaker 3: day in their life by me hurrying around with them,

1291
00:58:02,680 --> 00:58:04,880
Speaker 3: oh very selfless.

1292
00:58:04,960 --> 00:58:05,160
Speaker 1: Yeah.

1293
00:58:05,200 --> 00:58:08,160
Speaker 3: And then and then eventually, you know, like because I

1294
00:58:08,240 --> 00:58:09,919
Speaker 3: was in Bali, you know, a couple of months ago

1295
00:58:09,960 --> 00:58:13,439
Speaker 3: and just seeing the like the oldies still like doing

1296
00:58:13,600 --> 00:58:15,920
Speaker 3: like the crop, like the farming. Yeah, and they're bro.

1297
00:58:16,000 --> 00:58:18,240
Speaker 3: They're like eighty bro, and they're still like pushing like

1298
00:58:18,360 --> 00:58:21,640
Speaker 3: hand like handmade like freaking what do you call them?

1299
00:58:21,680 --> 00:58:23,960
Speaker 3: The tractors and stuff like that by hand. But I

1300
00:58:24,040 --> 00:58:26,080
Speaker 3: want to eventually be able to go over seas and

1301
00:58:26,120 --> 00:58:27,760
Speaker 3: actually spend a day with them, you know what I mean,

1302
00:58:27,800 --> 00:58:30,640
Speaker 3: and and be able to bring light to to to

1303
00:58:30,840 --> 00:58:33,960
Speaker 3: them and also let people know this man, be grateful

1304
00:58:33,960 --> 00:58:37,479
Speaker 3: where you are, Like, look at these other people they had,

1305
00:58:38,040 --> 00:58:39,960
Speaker 3: and I want to bring that, bring that to them,

1306
00:58:40,000 --> 00:58:42,280
Speaker 3: you know, to to people that's watching to to see

1307
00:58:42,360 --> 00:58:44,760
Speaker 3: like men if I'm like whatever, having life, may just

1308
00:58:44,840 --> 00:58:45,520
Speaker 3: be grateful, bro.

1309
00:58:45,880 --> 00:58:48,240
Speaker 2: Double Before I forget, I just wanted to I just

1310
00:58:48,320 --> 00:58:50,520
Speaker 2: wanted to let you know that. Uh do you see

1311
00:58:50,520 --> 00:58:52,320
Speaker 2: when you came you came up, did you feel like

1312
00:58:52,440 --> 00:58:55,280
Speaker 2: I already like were getting along? Yeah? Yeah, yeah, you

1313
00:58:55,320 --> 00:58:58,040
Speaker 2: don't know why I used to watch your YouTube stuff

1314
00:58:58,320 --> 00:59:00,400
Speaker 2: and this is this is I'm actually I'm actually great.

1315
00:59:00,440 --> 00:59:02,120
Speaker 2: I'm glad that I can finally say to you you

1316
00:59:02,240 --> 00:59:05,640
Speaker 2: were the first vlogger I watched before I done my

1317
00:59:05,840 --> 00:59:08,760
Speaker 2: own j Lex vlogs. So when I used to watch

1318
00:59:08,800 --> 00:59:11,360
Speaker 2: your vlogs, I used to watch randomly and just skip

1319
00:59:11,440 --> 00:59:13,640
Speaker 2: it and you're eating noodles or you're eating something with

1320
00:59:13,760 --> 00:59:16,120
Speaker 2: the docors, you know, and like I loved how raw

1321
00:59:16,160 --> 00:59:18,040
Speaker 2: it was and like there was no edits and very

1322
00:59:18,080 --> 00:59:20,360
Speaker 2: everything was minimal, and like to me, it made me

1323
00:59:20,400 --> 00:59:22,280
Speaker 2: feel like, pray, if then you can do it far,

1324
00:59:22,960 --> 00:59:25,880
Speaker 2: surely I can, Like, surely someone's gonna watch my banana

1325
00:59:25,960 --> 00:59:29,280
Speaker 2: headbrow talk. So yeah, I just wanted to give you

1326
00:59:29,360 --> 00:59:31,240
Speaker 2: your flowers and give you prop so with that, You're

1327
00:59:31,280 --> 00:59:34,280
Speaker 2: the first vlogger from Sydney that I watched that made

1328
00:59:34,320 --> 00:59:35,920
Speaker 2: me feel like, bra, you can do it and I

1329
00:59:35,960 --> 00:59:38,520
Speaker 2: can do it as well. Do so yeah, thank you, Dog,

1330
00:59:39,200 --> 00:59:42,640
Speaker 2: You've inspired us a lot, even just from this interview.

1331
00:59:42,720 --> 00:59:42,880
Speaker 3: Lad.

1332
00:59:43,160 --> 00:59:44,800
Speaker 2: My channel is on a bit of a standstill at

1333
00:59:44,840 --> 00:59:47,720
Speaker 2: the moment, but hopefully I get it.

1334
00:59:48,280 --> 00:59:50,320
Speaker 1: We're gonna We're gonna keep following you. And now for

1335
00:59:50,480 --> 00:59:53,320
Speaker 1: our audience, please gut support the dogle man. He's such

1336
00:59:53,320 --> 00:59:56,000
Speaker 1: a good person. He's been a great inspiration to us.

1337
00:59:56,480 --> 00:59:58,240
Speaker 1: And just thank you for coming doggle Bro.

1338
00:59:58,360 --> 01:00:00,720
Speaker 3: This is bless them bro.

1339
01:00:01,320 --> 01:00:03,360
Speaker 2: Any last message you want to give out to anyone

1340
01:00:03,520 --> 01:00:05,640
Speaker 2: or shout out to anyone you want to give up.

1341
01:00:06,520 --> 01:00:09,240
Speaker 3: All glory to God. Man. Amen, And for anyone out

1342
01:00:09,280 --> 01:00:11,840
Speaker 3: there minutes uh they want to step out and do

1343
01:00:11,960 --> 01:00:14,920
Speaker 3: content or whatever it is in your life. Men, Just

1344
01:00:15,040 --> 01:00:17,280
Speaker 3: guy out there, men, step out. Stay true to yourself men,

1345
01:00:17,360 --> 01:00:20,400
Speaker 3: and know who your identity is in Brillian Okay, chasing

1346
01:00:20,400 --> 01:00:21,160
Speaker 3: weirdly that you have.

1347
01:00:21,200 --> 01:00:26,280
Speaker 2: Brok ladies and gentlemen, we're coming here to it. And

1348
01:00:26,320 --> 01:00:28,280
Speaker 2: then this is it bros and cons. We're here with

1349
01:00:28,360 --> 01:00:31,120
Speaker 2: veny Lex. We'll catch you guys on the next episode.

1350
01:00:31,280 --> 01:00:44,680
Speaker 2: Let's go peekin you choose you want to hear with a.

1351
01:00:44,720 --> 01:00:48,520
Speaker 3: Coup with a cool cos we move a queen rude.

1352
01:00:48,640 --> 01:00:51,840
Speaker 2: We'll never understand the queens that we do. So we

1353
01:00:51,960 --> 01:00:58,360
Speaker 2: did with the bang in the corner with a wader.

1354
01:00:59,120 --> 01:01:00,280
Speaker 2: Will very