WEBVTT - The Shift In Identity After Having A Baby. How Uncut with Holly Nicholson 0:00:00.080 --> 0:00:12.760 This episode was recorded on Cameragle Land. Hi guys, and 0:00:12.800 --> 0:00:14.760 welcome back to another episode of Life on Cut. 0:00:14.800 --> 0:00:17.880 I'm Laura, I'm Brittany, and we have such a special 0:00:17.920 --> 0:00:18.840 episode for you today. 0:00:18.840 --> 0:00:21.320 It feels like sitting down with an old friend, one 0:00:21.360 --> 0:00:22.480 of our own alumni. 0:00:22.720 --> 0:00:25.480 Yeah, it is within the Bachelor Illuminati. 0:00:25.840 --> 0:00:27.880 We did a call out quite a while ago and said, like, 0:00:27.920 --> 0:00:30.080 who do you guys want on the podcast and one 0:00:30.160 --> 0:00:32.440 of the most requested names that came in. 0:00:32.840 --> 0:00:34.360 Was not Holly, but we had it. 0:00:35.240 --> 0:00:38.640 We couldn't get. 0:00:36.680 --> 0:00:42.360 Us in Bachelor's very own Holly Kingston. 0:00:42.640 --> 0:00:45.600 And I mean we've talked about Holly and Jimmy, who's 0:00:45.640 --> 0:00:47.440 also sitting in the room hiding in the corner with 0:00:47.479 --> 0:00:49.880 their baby Lenny at the moment, but we've spoken about 0:00:49.880 --> 0:00:51.839 Holly so much over the years on the pod. We 0:00:51.920 --> 0:00:54.920 did Batchel on Cut and we literally updated you all 0:00:55.000 --> 0:00:55.639 in real. 0:00:55.480 --> 0:00:57.120 Time on them falling in love. 0:00:57.600 --> 0:01:00.080 And now we get to update you all on a 0:01:00.200 --> 0:01:02.240 very different phase of life that Holly and Jimmy have 0:01:02.240 --> 0:01:05.920 found themselves in, and that is being brand spanking new parents. 0:01:06.319 --> 0:01:07.720 Holly, Welcome to the pod. 0:01:08.200 --> 0:01:10.200 Thank you. I do feel like a little bit of 0:01:10.200 --> 0:01:12.080 pressure and I feel like it's really I think you've 0:01:12.080 --> 0:01:13.679 stitched me up a bit because I feel like I've 0:01:13.680 --> 0:01:16.720 been on a bender for about two months. I'm not 0:01:16.800 --> 0:01:19.480 the best version of myself, a baby bender. I wasn't 0:01:19.520 --> 0:01:21.640 drunk for two months, just so everyone's. 0:01:21.640 --> 0:01:24.440 I imagine, could you imagine that's the headline? Holy on 0:01:24.560 --> 0:01:25.160 baby bender? 0:01:25.560 --> 0:01:28.080 To be fair, though, like it is a wild bit 0:01:28.120 --> 0:01:30.920 of gear those first couple of months after having a baby. 0:01:31.000 --> 0:01:33.040 It is. But I think we were talking about it 0:01:33.080 --> 0:01:36.480 just before we, you know, started recording. But it's a 0:01:36.520 --> 0:01:39.560 fine line, isn't it, Because people really do. I do 0:01:39.600 --> 0:01:41.280 feel like I went in thinking it was going to 0:01:41.319 --> 0:01:44.520 be all doom and gloom, and it has been so 0:01:44.680 --> 0:01:47.520 much fun. It actually has. I've been a bit tired, 0:01:47.600 --> 0:01:49.280 but it's been so much fun. 0:01:49.320 --> 0:01:50.760 It's so nice to hear because Laura and I have 0:01:50.760 --> 0:01:53.840 spoken about this like multiple times, never in detail, but 0:01:53.880 --> 0:01:56.680 always in passing comments on the podcast in private, but 0:01:56.840 --> 0:02:00.160 all you hear the narrative about childbirth and the first 0:02:00.240 --> 0:02:02.760 year of motherhood, not even the first year. But it's 0:02:02.840 --> 0:02:05.000 just how taxing it is, how exhausting it is, how 0:02:05.000 --> 0:02:07.160 you never sleep again, how your social life changes, your 0:02:07.160 --> 0:02:11.120 relationship changes, everybody highlights the bad stuff, so it's really 0:02:11.160 --> 0:02:13.760 I'm trying to ignore Letty if anyone can hear his 0:02:13.840 --> 0:02:15.960 like moaning, we haven't left him on his own, Jimmy 0:02:16.000 --> 0:02:18.240 don't have him, But it's really nice to hear straight 0:02:18.240 --> 0:02:20.359 off the bat as well, you say like it's been 0:02:20.400 --> 0:02:22.440 great and not as bad as everyone made it out sound. 0:02:22.480 --> 0:02:24.480 Yeah, I mean it's quite ironic timing as well as 0:02:24.480 --> 0:02:26.960 my child screaming in the background, But no, it has 0:02:27.040 --> 0:02:29.240 been It's been so much fun. And I feel like 0:02:29.480 --> 0:02:32.000 I actually run into Laura at an event when I 0:02:32.040 --> 0:02:34.920 was heavily pregnant, and I thought about what you said 0:02:34.919 --> 0:02:38.200 to me so much, which was no one tells you 0:02:38.240 --> 0:02:41.360 about how fun it is, and that's something that I 0:02:41.440 --> 0:02:44.560 was underprepared for. I was very prepared for having no 0:02:44.680 --> 0:02:48.040 sleep and how much it's going to change your relationship 0:02:48.040 --> 0:02:51.160 with your husband and all of these things, and you 0:02:51.200 --> 0:02:52.640 don't get prepared for how fun it is. 0:02:52.960 --> 0:02:56.320 Yeah, it's an interesting one because I remember when I 0:02:56.360 --> 0:03:00.000 had Mali and I was so ready for my life 0:03:00.080 --> 0:03:02.360 life to be ruined because I've been told so many 0:03:02.400 --> 0:03:04.799 times that it would never be the same. And don't 0:03:04.800 --> 0:03:07.279 get me wrong, like, yeah, of course, it changes your relationship, 0:03:07.360 --> 0:03:10.080 and you know, there's one hurdle after another. It's a 0:03:10.200 --> 0:03:14.480 forever changing beast being a parent. But I think that 0:03:14.520 --> 0:03:17.560 it was important for the conversations of women who have 0:03:17.639 --> 0:03:20.600 found becoming mothers really hard to have its time in 0:03:20.639 --> 0:03:23.120 the spotlight. I think it's so important for us to 0:03:23.120 --> 0:03:25.880 have those conversations so that when motherhood does feel really hard, 0:03:25.880 --> 0:03:28.160 you're not sitting in a silo going am I the 0:03:28.160 --> 0:03:30.880 only one suffering? But I do think that that pendulum 0:03:30.919 --> 0:03:33.880 swung so far into one direction that for people who 0:03:33.919 --> 0:03:36.800 have actually had great experiences, or maybe even if you've 0:03:36.840 --> 0:03:40.480 had a traumatic birth experience but you don't feel ongoing 0:03:40.520 --> 0:03:44.040 trauma from it, it's as though we walk into motherhood 0:03:44.040 --> 0:03:45.640 with a lot of fear now that it's going to 0:03:45.720 --> 0:03:47.760 just absolutely fucking destroy your life. You're not going to 0:03:47.840 --> 0:03:49.760 have a career, and you're not going to have any 0:03:49.800 --> 0:03:51.960 sort of sense of social life, and your relationship is 0:03:52.000 --> 0:03:53.880 going to go down the drain. And not all of 0:03:53.920 --> 0:03:56.200 those things happen all at once for every single person. 0:03:56.240 --> 0:03:58.680 I think is important to show that side as well. Yeah, 0:03:58.720 --> 0:04:01.560 I think every day is so different. Obviously, you're going 0:04:01.600 --> 0:04:02.800 to have your shit days, and you do. 0:04:03.440 --> 0:04:08.520 But I've actually really thoroughly enjoyed motherhood. There are certain things. 0:04:08.560 --> 0:04:10.920 The hardest thing for me was the hormones. No, like, 0:04:11.040 --> 0:04:14.240 I feel like that's under talked about. I think that's something. 0:04:14.720 --> 0:04:18.040 Those first few weeks, it was genuinely like there was 0:04:18.480 --> 0:04:21.080 just black. I was just Jimmy would be trying to 0:04:21.120 --> 0:04:22.760 talk to me, and I'd be looking out the window 0:04:22.800 --> 0:04:25.000 and just like, what have I done? And that is 0:04:25.440 --> 0:04:27.000 you don't really want to talk about that because it 0:04:27.040 --> 0:04:32.440 sounds like you're ungrateful for this journey. But one day 0:04:32.480 --> 0:04:36.480 that all just kind of lifted, and that was a 0:04:36.520 --> 0:04:38.440 really tough part. The other tough part is that you 0:04:38.520 --> 0:04:40.680 kind of feel like you've lost your old identity a 0:04:40.680 --> 0:04:43.520 little bit. You're now someone's mum and your body's changed. 0:04:43.600 --> 0:04:46.320 Everything you know, so much has changed. And we didn't 0:04:46.320 --> 0:04:49.720 help that because we moved house within like two weeks 0:04:49.720 --> 0:04:51.800 of me giving birth, So I'm in this whole new place. 0:04:51.880 --> 0:04:54.200 I'm you know, an hour away from where we used 0:04:54.200 --> 0:04:57.360 to be, and I'm you know, I don't lactating over Yeah, 0:04:57.440 --> 0:05:01.120 I'm lactating all over myself. But yeah, there was definitely 0:05:01.360 --> 0:05:05.240 I think now we're really in the fun stage. I 0:05:05.279 --> 0:05:07.479 feel like you start to kind of think, Okay, I 0:05:07.600 --> 0:05:10.479 kind of know what I'm doing now kind of and 0:05:11.640 --> 0:05:13.760 things are getting a lot more funny, starting to smile 0:05:13.800 --> 0:05:15.479 at us and all of those things. It's starting to 0:05:15.480 --> 0:05:18.279 feel more rewarding at the first, you know, those first 0:05:18.320 --> 0:05:21.120 few weeks, you genuinely just for me, I just felt 0:05:21.160 --> 0:05:24.200 like a vessel. I felt like I had utters and 0:05:24.200 --> 0:05:25.200 that was you know. 0:05:25.279 --> 0:05:27.480 Well, I think that's essentially it, right, Like they're just 0:05:27.560 --> 0:05:29.839 in the nicest way possible, they're little blobs. They're just 0:05:29.920 --> 0:05:32.200 pooh and need to eat, and that's all they do, 0:05:32.240 --> 0:05:34.359 and that's all you have to do all day. And 0:05:34.440 --> 0:05:36.080 I think it's really important what you just said, And 0:05:36.160 --> 0:05:37.560 I definitely want to get into that a little bit 0:05:37.640 --> 0:05:41.320 later about that idea of the cloud that people feel 0:05:41.400 --> 0:05:42.920 or the weight that people feel on them in those 0:05:42.920 --> 0:05:45.200 first few weeks, Like what have I done? That it's 0:05:45.279 --> 0:05:48.520 not necessarily a true reflection of how you feel. It's 0:05:48.600 --> 0:05:51.560 because we don't talk enough about the hormone change. But 0:05:51.640 --> 0:05:53.600 before we do get into that, we do want to 0:05:53.680 --> 0:05:57.080 kick start with your accidentally unfiltered, your most embarrassing story. 0:05:57.880 --> 0:06:00.440 I actually, do you know what you know when someone 0:06:00.520 --> 0:06:04.120 asks you about your most embarrassing moment, you just can't 0:06:04.120 --> 0:06:06.160 think about it because there's just been I mean it's 0:06:06.200 --> 0:06:08.240 not like I haven't had many, but I just can't 0:06:08.240 --> 0:06:09.159 think about it on the spot. 0:06:09.400 --> 0:06:10.960 Or it depends on the type of person, because some 0:06:11.000 --> 0:06:13.200 people don't embarrass easily, and you're like, I know that 0:06:13.240 --> 0:06:15.159 this would be embarrassing for someone, but like, this is 0:06:15.200 --> 0:06:16.919 just a normal day in the life Paull in Kingston. 0:06:17.560 --> 0:06:20.680 Here we are. Yeah, basically, no. I think most recently, 0:06:20.760 --> 0:06:24.160 I'm just really coming to terms with the laxating situation. 0:06:24.560 --> 0:06:26.640 I'm still kind of coming to terms with the fact 0:06:26.680 --> 0:06:30.039 that these are really their milk in, you know, And 0:06:30.680 --> 0:06:33.040 I mean only probably this is the most recent thing 0:06:33.080 --> 0:06:35.440 I can think of. The most embarrassing thing that's happened 0:06:35.600 --> 0:06:38.520 is I was at chemists warehouse just getting some nappys. 0:06:38.560 --> 0:06:40.719 I think I was getting Jimmy some protein or something. 0:06:41.800 --> 0:06:43.400 Checks out Frien, Yeah exactly. 0:06:44.720 --> 0:06:47.800 Well, yeah, yeah, I'm glad one of us is going 0:06:47.839 --> 0:06:52.240 the gym. You look after yourself done, And I was. 0:06:52.320 --> 0:06:54.200 I was at the Chemist's warehouse counter and there was 0:06:54.279 --> 0:06:57.200 just this like it was just a teenage boy serving 0:06:57.240 --> 0:07:01.080 me and Hagus was looking at me, like I was 0:07:01.120 --> 0:07:03.040 looking at the boobs. I've never had boobs in my life, 0:07:03.040 --> 0:07:05.120 so this is also a really exciting time for me 0:07:05.160 --> 0:07:07.080 in that sense. I mean, without a bra on, they 0:07:07.080 --> 0:07:09.440 don't they don't look like you know, they're not great. 0:07:09.560 --> 0:07:12.320 But with the bra the bra, let me tell you, 0:07:12.360 --> 0:07:15.440 it does wonders no. And he was serving me and 0:07:15.480 --> 0:07:17.800 I actually texted Jimmy at the time and I was like, 0:07:18.440 --> 0:07:19.920 I think I've kind of got my mojo back a 0:07:19.920 --> 0:07:21.880 little bit because he was looking down at my boobs 0:07:21.880 --> 0:07:23.640 and I was like, oh, I've got boobs for the 0:07:23.640 --> 0:07:26.080 first time in my life, fully checking you. Yeah, And 0:07:26.160 --> 0:07:28.240 I just was like, I'm killing it today. And it 0:07:28.280 --> 0:07:30.520 wasn't until about, I don't know, ten minutes later that 0:07:30.600 --> 0:07:35.760 I looked down and I just had milk dripping, dripping 0:07:35.960 --> 0:07:38.280 from the nips. So that's my new life. And that's 0:07:38.400 --> 0:07:39.960 I mean, it's just every day, really, isn't it. 0:07:40.000 --> 0:07:40.880 Every day? 0:07:41.160 --> 0:07:43.240 Literally milk, You've got it all. 0:07:43.240 --> 0:07:45.480 So he was checking you out, but just not for 0:07:45.520 --> 0:07:47.360 the right and you thought. 0:07:47.440 --> 0:07:49.440 Shame because you could have picked up some breastpads in 0:07:49.440 --> 0:07:51.280 there at the same time. I could have made it 0:07:51.320 --> 0:07:53.520 all around the shop. I was just telling you about 0:07:53.520 --> 0:07:56.120 this before. But I had a situation where I was 0:07:56.160 --> 0:07:59.560 in mid serving a customer at Tony May and we 0:07:59.720 --> 0:08:01.920 just had a new aircorn instored right above where I 0:08:02.000 --> 0:08:04.760 was standing, and I felt wet, like a drip on me. 0:08:05.200 --> 0:08:06.760 And I look at the customer and I go, oh, 0:08:06.760 --> 0:08:08.600 I'm so sorry the air con is leaking. And I 0:08:08.600 --> 0:08:10.880 looked up at the air con and I'm like looking 0:08:10.880 --> 0:08:12.960 at trying to find this leak. And at the same time, 0:08:13.000 --> 0:08:15.640 I was full squirting on the customer and she was 0:08:15.680 --> 0:08:18.440 too embarrassed to tell me that. I it was like 0:08:18.720 --> 0:08:21.000 it was beyond just like lactating. It was when it 0:08:21.000 --> 0:08:23.280 does that full let down and just squirts out of 0:08:23.280 --> 0:08:24.600 my top and was terrified. 0:08:24.680 --> 0:08:26.680 Yeah, yeah, like a water. 0:08:28.160 --> 0:08:30.360 For her skin though very good for. 0:08:30.960 --> 0:08:31.760 You should be grateful. 0:08:31.840 --> 0:08:35.720 Rub that on yourself, charger for it, Like that's essentially 0:08:35.720 --> 0:08:37.679 a facial that's terrible. 0:08:37.679 --> 0:08:38.080 Don't worry. 0:08:38.080 --> 0:08:39.920 I feel like any mom or new mum listening to 0:08:39.920 --> 0:08:41.600 it so will be like we've all been that, We've 0:08:41.600 --> 0:08:42.480 all had those moments. 0:08:42.559 --> 0:08:44.920 We put the questions out because you were so requested. 0:08:45.040 --> 0:08:46.920 We were like, hey, let's just really lead into this. 0:08:47.120 --> 0:08:48.920 What did you want to know from Holly, like, you 0:08:48.960 --> 0:08:51.840 guys have wanted this information and let's try and start 0:08:51.840 --> 0:08:52.800 in chronological order. 0:08:52.840 --> 0:08:53.640 But there were quite a lot of. 0:08:53.679 --> 0:08:57.920 Questions surrounding your life before the Bachelor. Were you already 0:08:57.920 --> 0:09:01.679 into like interior styling and fashion styling and because that's 0:09:01.679 --> 0:09:03.800 what people look at you for now, it's really become 0:09:03.880 --> 0:09:06.000 your mold of your Instagram presence. 0:09:06.200 --> 0:09:09.440 Yeah, I mean so, I was in fashion marketing for 0:09:09.480 --> 0:09:11.960 ten years so before ironically I was one of my 0:09:12.080 --> 0:09:18.000 main things was influence outreach and basically forgetting influencers to 0:09:18.000 --> 0:09:19.760 do campaigns and things like that. So I worked for 0:09:19.800 --> 0:09:23.439 a company called Retailer Power Group. And to be completely honest, 0:09:23.679 --> 0:09:26.199 when I went on the show, Jimmy and I were 0:09:26.200 --> 0:09:29.080 both asked to be to well, both both as to 0:09:29.080 --> 0:09:35.880 be on The Bachelor but with but when Casting was 0:09:35.920 --> 0:09:38.640 basically saying to me, because I was, I'm absolutely not 0:09:38.760 --> 0:09:40.800 doing it. It's just not something that I feel like 0:09:41.040 --> 0:09:44.720 is the right thing for me. And when Casting reached out, 0:09:44.760 --> 0:09:47.560 they basically said, look, we're trialing something different this year. 0:09:47.840 --> 0:09:51.880 Basically no one has any form of Instagram following. He 0:09:51.920 --> 0:09:54.200 doesn't want to be he doesn't want to be an influencer. 0:09:54.240 --> 0:09:56.319 He's got a real job all of that stuff, and 0:09:56.960 --> 0:10:00.080 I was like, Okay, great, that sounds good to me 0:10:00.160 --> 0:10:02.520 because I don't want to be in that whole scene. 0:10:03.000 --> 0:10:06.240 And then I mean fast forward afterwards and it just 0:10:06.320 --> 0:10:09.040 kind of it's just something that we we started doing. 0:10:09.080 --> 0:10:12.360 It is something that just happens. Yeah, it happens. Jimmy 0:10:12.360 --> 0:10:14.240 and I had a big chat about it after the 0:10:14.280 --> 0:10:15.840 show it aired, and we were like, well, if we 0:10:15.880 --> 0:10:17.640 are going to do this, what like, how do we 0:10:17.679 --> 0:10:19.439 do it? What do we want to do? And a 0:10:19.480 --> 0:10:21.920 big thing for us we made a pledge to each 0:10:21.960 --> 0:10:23.840 other was if we are going to do this, we 0:10:23.960 --> 0:10:26.080 have to always make sure that if we're ever going 0:10:26.120 --> 0:10:28.880 to do brand partnerships, they always have to feel authentic 0:10:28.920 --> 0:10:30.840 to us. We have to know and love the product 0:10:31.480 --> 0:10:33.680 or we have to trial the product and genuinely love it. 0:10:33.720 --> 0:10:35.839 And that's something that for us over the years has 0:10:35.840 --> 0:10:38.760 been incredibly important. It's not something that we I remember 0:10:38.760 --> 0:10:42.400 at the start, you know, getting you get so many requests, Yeah, 0:10:42.480 --> 0:10:46.720 well so many requests. Mate. 0:10:46.800 --> 0:10:48.160 I did a soup in COVID. 0:10:48.440 --> 0:10:50.679 I needed money and I was like, oh, nothing against 0:10:50.920 --> 0:10:53.640 sorry take out soup. 0:10:53.480 --> 0:10:57.440 Promote in COVID. I remember looking at brit at that point. 0:10:57.440 --> 0:10:58.960 Now, I was like, that's a real low point when 0:10:59.000 --> 0:11:02.240 you're poking packet soup on Instagram and I was. 0:11:02.320 --> 0:11:04.840 Like, sorry, I need to support my entire family in COVID. Yes, 0:11:04.880 --> 0:11:07.360 I'll sell the soup. I loved the soup, to be fair, 0:11:07.440 --> 0:11:08.199 it was authentic. 0:11:08.320 --> 0:11:09.160 It's authentic. 0:11:09.360 --> 0:11:12.880 I also do think that when you come from the 0:11:12.960 --> 0:11:15.400 side of life where you don't have an Instagram presence, 0:11:15.440 --> 0:11:18.120 you know, when you're not an influencer. I do think 0:11:18.200 --> 0:11:20.520 that we look at influencers with a dirty lens. I 0:11:20.520 --> 0:11:22.880 think that we can kind of have a perception around 0:11:22.880 --> 0:11:25.559 what we think that is. And then you you know, 0:11:25.679 --> 0:11:27.800 doing a reality TV show like The Bachelor means you're 0:11:27.840 --> 0:11:30.600 thrust into a situation where you do have a following 0:11:30.760 --> 0:11:33.960 and people are paying attention to what it is that 0:11:34.000 --> 0:11:36.120 you're saying, whether that's a value or not of value, 0:11:36.440 --> 0:11:38.520 and you have a choice to choose what type of 0:11:38.840 --> 0:11:41.520 business quote unquote you want to be. And I think 0:11:41.520 --> 0:11:43.600 that I've kind of had the same feeling around it, 0:11:43.640 --> 0:11:45.800 Like I didn't have a personal Instagram when I did 0:11:45.840 --> 0:11:48.160 The Bachelor. I only had my business one Tony May 0:11:49.200 --> 0:11:51.000 and then all of a sudden I had this random 0:11:51.000 --> 0:11:52.640 one called Lady in a Cat that had a lot 0:11:52.640 --> 0:11:53.760 of people following it. 0:11:53.840 --> 0:11:54.959 And I was like, well, what do I want to 0:11:55.000 --> 0:11:55.520 do with this? 0:11:55.679 --> 0:11:58.400 Like it would almost be a missed opportunity to say 0:11:58.400 --> 0:11:59.880 that you're going to do nothing with it, you know. 0:12:00.400 --> 0:12:02.640 So I think that your perception around it changes as 0:12:02.640 --> 0:12:04.800 you become more familiar with what it means to have 0:12:04.920 --> 0:12:05.839 that responsibility. 0:12:06.080 --> 0:12:07.880 Yeah, and I think for Jimmy and I as well. 0:12:08.000 --> 0:12:11.559 I mean that first year was I mean, you go 0:12:11.640 --> 0:12:15.280 from being on a reality show to then being in 0:12:15.320 --> 0:12:19.040 a new relationship and then you're basically working together and 0:12:19.080 --> 0:12:22.000 we had no shortage of arguments. We decided we really 0:12:22.000 --> 0:12:24.840 wanted to focus on travel. He's a pilot, and you know, 0:12:24.960 --> 0:12:27.520 I really wanted to do all of the travel stuff, 0:12:27.559 --> 0:12:29.920 and so we were reaching out to, you know, all 0:12:29.920 --> 0:12:32.160 these different little airbnbs, like we'd love to come and 0:12:32.240 --> 0:12:33.920 you know, and we'd bring the mics and we do 0:12:33.960 --> 0:12:37.199 all of these things. And we worked really, really hard. 0:12:37.559 --> 0:12:39.679 I mean, Jimmy learned how to fly the drone. He 0:12:39.720 --> 0:12:41.439 tried to teach me and I crushed it, so I 0:12:41.480 --> 0:12:45.080 don't touch that anymore. But we worked really hard, particularly 0:12:45.120 --> 0:12:48.400 with the travel stuff to make something of it, and 0:12:48.440 --> 0:12:50.120 that took about a year and a half and now 0:12:50.200 --> 0:12:52.520 we're doing a lot more of that and whatnot. But 0:12:53.280 --> 0:12:55.440 it does take work, and you've got to be incredibly 0:12:55.480 --> 0:12:58.079 authentic otherwise people can see through it. 0:12:58.160 --> 0:13:00.400 Now, what was that you said the first year your life? 0:13:00.400 --> 0:13:01.920 You know, you go from being on the show to 0:13:01.960 --> 0:13:04.560 having a relationship to working together. What was that like 0:13:04.640 --> 0:13:07.800 for your relationship, Because I think everybody has a different 0:13:07.840 --> 0:13:10.200 experience when they get spat out of that Bachelor machine 0:13:10.240 --> 0:13:12.520 and there's not a lot of there's not a lot 0:13:12.520 --> 0:13:14.199 of support. You kind of just go from being on 0:13:14.240 --> 0:13:16.360 this show to being like cool, make it or break it, 0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:18.760 you know. And then I mean it's very evident that 0:13:18.840 --> 0:13:22.160 some couples thrive in that or it's galvanizing for them, 0:13:22.200 --> 0:13:24.719 and other couples really just it's a pressure cooker that 0:13:24.720 --> 0:13:25.440 they can't survive. 0:13:25.760 --> 0:13:27.960 Yeah, we were very lucky that we had each other 0:13:28.000 --> 0:13:31.480 and we kind of we did thrive in that whole environment. 0:13:31.520 --> 0:13:33.000 And I think it was just because it felt a 0:13:33.000 --> 0:13:35.600 little bit like it was us against us against the world. 0:13:36.080 --> 0:13:38.160 It does feel like that, I mean I do, but 0:13:38.320 --> 0:13:39.839 it still felt like me against the world. 0:13:39.840 --> 0:13:40.920 But it does feel like that. 0:13:41.160 --> 0:13:43.360 Yeah, and you know, we put our foot in it 0:13:43.400 --> 0:13:45.800 a few times. I'm sure you could probably remember one 0:13:45.800 --> 0:13:48.200 of those times. You know. That's when it's really tricky, 0:13:48.320 --> 0:13:51.760 is when you say something that you know gets taken 0:13:51.800 --> 0:13:53.880 out of context or something, and then it's genuinely you 0:13:53.880 --> 0:13:56.000 feel like the world is against you, and you have 0:13:56.120 --> 0:13:59.360 that opportunity to either go, well, we can do this together, 0:13:59.760 --> 0:14:03.080 or we can you know, let it break us. And 0:14:03.720 --> 0:14:06.400 we thankfully didn't let those things break us. 0:14:06.720 --> 0:14:09.679 You've maintained a really close friendship with Carli from that 0:14:10.000 --> 0:14:12.199 from the season that you guys did. Is there anyone 0:14:12.200 --> 0:14:14.160 else from the season that you've been friends with or like, 0:14:14.240 --> 0:14:16.400 what was that experience like for you when you came 0:14:16.480 --> 0:14:20.280 out of the show and then still had to engage 0:14:20.280 --> 0:14:22.800 with some of the girls and you know, yeah, it's 0:14:22.800 --> 0:14:23.440 a weird one. 0:14:23.600 --> 0:14:25.560 Yeah, Well, I mean I didn't have a heap of 0:14:25.560 --> 0:14:28.160 friends on that show. I've tried to think about it 0:14:28.200 --> 0:14:29.960 a few times. I think it's because I have a 0:14:30.000 --> 0:14:32.720 personality which I was probably considered to be a little 0:14:32.720 --> 0:14:34.400 bit blunt, a bit sarcastic with some of the girls, 0:14:34.440 --> 0:14:37.400 and I think there was also that element of I 0:14:37.440 --> 0:14:39.840 mean it's just a very bizarre environment to make friends. 0:14:40.080 --> 0:14:43.120 Carlie and I are still very close. Its actually her 0:14:43.200 --> 0:14:45.800 wedding in a few weeks and I am bridesmaid, which 0:14:45.840 --> 0:14:50.160 is really fun. And I'm also still really close with 0:14:50.280 --> 0:14:52.480 Tani and Lily, So I kind of came out. I 0:14:52.520 --> 0:14:54.400 was really lucky to come out with a couple of friends. 0:14:54.680 --> 0:14:56.560 I haven't spoken to the others. 0:14:57.040 --> 0:14:59.240 It's one of those things where and I always describe 0:14:59.240 --> 0:15:01.520 it as like, if you win it, you come out 0:15:01.560 --> 0:15:03.360 with a partner, and if you lose it, you come 0:15:03.360 --> 0:15:06.440 out with friends. And it's not very common to come 0:15:06.440 --> 0:15:08.440 out with both because at the end of the day, 0:15:08.480 --> 0:15:12.080 you're in competition with women for affection and there's like 0:15:12.120 --> 0:15:14.920 this hierarchy system that starts to happen, and it is 0:15:15.080 --> 0:15:18.520 just not an environment that is conducive for breeding friendships 0:15:18.560 --> 0:15:21.080 when you're pitted against each other at every point. 0:15:21.240 --> 0:15:25.360 It's funny because I came out with friendly with everyone, 0:15:25.440 --> 0:15:27.920 like not on bad terms with anyone, like you'll support 0:15:27.920 --> 0:15:29.920 each other on Instagram. But I didn't come out with 0:15:30.040 --> 0:15:32.880 any proper friends from the show. Still not to this 0:15:32.960 --> 0:15:35.560 day do I have any My two friends closest friends 0:15:35.560 --> 0:15:38.320 from the Bachelor, are you? Laura from a different season, 0:15:38.840 --> 0:15:41.560 and the stylist Kim, who's become one of my best friends. Like, 0:15:41.600 --> 0:15:43.880 they're the relationships that I ended up taking from The 0:15:43.880 --> 0:15:46.800 Bachelor because it is it's not a normal environment, and 0:15:46.840 --> 0:15:49.640 when you leave sometimes when you're in it, you have 0:15:49.760 --> 0:15:52.120 these amazing connections, like I had really good friends on 0:15:52.160 --> 0:15:54.200 the show, but then when you leave you realize that 0:15:54.240 --> 0:15:56.840 maybe it's the pressure cooker environment that forces you to 0:15:56.840 --> 0:15:58.760 have similarities, and then when you leave, you're like, oh, 0:15:58.800 --> 0:16:00.960 it's not quite what it was in It's funny. 0:16:01.000 --> 0:16:03.600 I think back to those bunk beds. I don't know. 0:16:03.720 --> 0:16:06.520 I actually think it's hilarious because the bunk beds, they're 0:16:06.520 --> 0:16:09.240 all engraved by past seasons, and some of the engravings 0:16:09.240 --> 0:16:12.360 were like leave, get out, and you're like, ride where 0:16:12.400 --> 0:16:13.360 am I? 0:16:13.560 --> 0:16:13.920 I don't know. 0:16:13.920 --> 0:16:16.240 I don't think I had anything of yours. I remember, yes, 0:16:16.320 --> 0:16:19.160 someone from the previous season. I remember reading hers and 0:16:19.200 --> 0:16:21.320 it was like love so and so and it was 0:16:21.400 --> 0:16:23.760 like get out right now while you can. And I 0:16:23.800 --> 0:16:25.240 was like, oh my god, what have I done me? 0:16:26.120 --> 0:16:26.720 Hious? 0:16:27.200 --> 0:16:30.040 Yeah, but you would go to bed these bunk beds 0:16:30.040 --> 0:16:32.520 all crammed in this room. And I remember even with Carli, 0:16:33.000 --> 0:16:35.280 she would come home from a date at like eleven 0:16:35.320 --> 0:16:37.680 pm or something and she'd crawl up into the squeaky 0:16:37.840 --> 0:16:40.560 bunk bed on top of me and I'd be like, 0:16:40.600 --> 0:16:41.200 how was it? 0:16:41.280 --> 0:16:42.440 Did you give him a kiss? 0:16:42.480 --> 0:16:46.440 And it's like, how bizarre is that relationship? And you 0:16:46.480 --> 0:16:48.880 can either yeah, I think it's like what you said, Britt, 0:16:49.080 --> 0:16:51.560 is you either realize you don't have that much in 0:16:51.600 --> 0:16:53.880 common and what you have in common is bitching about production, 0:16:54.000 --> 0:16:57.600 bitching about the situation, or you know, you're both dating 0:16:57.600 --> 0:16:59.880 the same guy and you talk about his kissing technique 0:17:00.000 --> 0:17:01.960 and then you get off the show and you're like, actually, 0:17:01.960 --> 0:17:04.320 we don't have that much in common. And thankfully for 0:17:04.359 --> 0:17:06.560 the girls that I was close with and still I 0:17:06.560 --> 0:17:08.360 am close with, is that we realized that we did 0:17:08.359 --> 0:17:09.880 have quite a lot in common, which was nice. 0:17:11.520 --> 0:17:14.679