WEBVTT - MINI: Gumtree’s Best Ads

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<v Speaker 1>Christian O'Connell's show podcast, Jack Funny managed to get rid

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<v Speaker 1>of his you on gum tree to some sucker. Sorry

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<v Speaker 1>lucky lucky new owner some of some of these gum

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<v Speaker 1>trees amazing, isn't it. And there's an advert here someone's

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<v Speaker 1>looking for some help in Collingwood. Nighttime watcher required thirty

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<v Speaker 1>dollars per hour negotiable. I'm looking for somebody to sit

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<v Speaker 1>in my room at night and watch over me as

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<v Speaker 1>I sleep. Recently, I've had a lot of trouble sleeping,

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<v Speaker 1>and I think it'd be comforting if I knew somebody

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<v Speaker 1>was there.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh please, is not real.

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<v Speaker 3>Lease let me see what you look at.

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<v Speaker 1>That the shift tires all vary and I'm really looking

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<v Speaker 1>for a rotating roster of one or two permanent staff.

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<v Speaker 1>I was thinking that the ideal candidate will be able

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<v Speaker 1>to cover three nights between the hours of eleven PM

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<v Speaker 1>to six am. You can, of course use my bathroom,

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<v Speaker 1>but only after two hours after I fall asleep, to

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<v Speaker 1>sure that I won't suddenly wake up to find the

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<v Speaker 1>room empty.

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<v Speaker 2>Please. I love when people put this at the end

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<v Speaker 2>of these adverts. Please no time waste.

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<v Speaker 1>When it was that like you know, you need to

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<v Speaker 1>put that Otherwise, if you don't have it there, you're

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<v Speaker 1>very much down for time wasters. Please, and we always

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<v Speaker 1>say that on the show.

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<v Speaker 2>Don't we tune in? But please no time wasters? Ok?

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<v Speaker 1>No, what about that? You're not in the bedroom, just

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<v Speaker 1>sat in a chair read your book watching it. Are

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<v Speaker 1>you out out in the lounge or something?

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<v Speaker 3>Is there a security guard type role to make sure

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<v Speaker 3>there's no in Truly.

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<v Speaker 1>I think it's someone who just wants the comfort of

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<v Speaker 1>another human being being there when they fall asleep. This

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<v Speaker 1>is another great one, Toady. It's our first mention of

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<v Speaker 1>Tody for a new year on this show. Tody Circle

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<v Speaker 1>nineteen ninety five impersonator exclusively portraying the Toadfish look at

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<v Speaker 1>the peak of his powers. In ninety five, Greg will

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<v Speaker 1>come to your party dressed as Toady to chat about

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<v Speaker 1>plot lines and diss the dirt on Ramsey Street Stars

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<v Speaker 1>eighty five dollars an hour.

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<v Speaker 2>The actual Toady you do it for like an agy, I.

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<v Speaker 3>Think we need to find a reason to use that

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<v Speaker 3>impersonator by the end of the year.

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<v Speaker 2>Man toad Man.

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<v Speaker 1>When you see toad Man, you call it.

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<v Speaker 2>What about this?

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<v Speaker 1>This is another one from gumtry The Briefcase of Mystery.

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<v Speaker 1>Agatha Christie's story The Briefcase of Mystery. It's a picture

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<v Speaker 1>of a really old, naked looking you know, there's old

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<v Speaker 1>fashioned briefcases that are really fat, like a concertina.

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<v Speaker 2>But they've got the old double lots.

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<v Speaker 1>I don't know the code for the left lock, but

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<v Speaker 1>enough tries you'll figure it out. Thirty dollars negotiable.

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<v Speaker 3>Seriously, there could be anything in there. I think we

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<v Speaker 3>buy that and try and open it on the show. Yeah, yes, coming,

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<v Speaker 3>surely we can spare that.

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<v Speaker 1>By the way, we're talking about passwords. You still not

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<v Speaker 1>create your bitcoin?

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<v Speaker 3>Have you?

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<v Speaker 1>No?

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<v Speaker 3>Oh my god?

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<v Speaker 1>No? Did you read the story last week about the

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<v Speaker 1>guy who has two hundred and twenty million dollars worth

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<v Speaker 1>of bitcoin but can't remember the password. Same situation as you.

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<v Speaker 3>Everybody can stop sending it to me on Instagram and

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<v Speaker 3>Twitter as well.

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<v Speaker 2>I know keep sending it to him every day.

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<v Speaker 1>The Christian O'Connell Show Podcast