WEBVTT - What Is Lucky Girl Syndrome? ☘️👧 0:00:01.520 --> 0:00:03.520 Flex and Frooms, Flex and Frooms. 0:00:03.600 --> 0:00:05.960 This is the Flex and Frooms catch up podcast. 0:00:08.920 --> 0:00:12.160 Well, come, you've got a great top lip. 0:00:12.840 --> 0:00:13.360 What do you mean? 0:00:13.920 --> 0:00:16.120 Don't much stay by the bottom, but the top one 0:00:16.239 --> 0:00:18.840 is great. It's good cupids bo. 0:00:19.320 --> 0:00:19.680 You know what. 0:00:19.720 --> 0:00:26.280 When I was in high school, really quickly, Brookie. 0:00:25.800 --> 0:00:29.480 When you say really quickly, really quickly is a lie 0:00:29.520 --> 0:00:30.440 every time? Listen. 0:00:30.520 --> 0:00:33.479 Okay, the hottest guy and you're eleven, his name was, 0:00:33.680 --> 0:00:37.680 It's okay, okay. We were all sitting around the quadrangle, 0:00:38.479 --> 0:00:42.080 the tens, elevens and twelves, and he would like flirt 0:00:42.080 --> 0:00:43.680 with us, but nag us all the time, and like 0:00:44.280 --> 0:00:46.159 because I was a joke star, they would joke with 0:00:46.200 --> 0:00:48.800 me medium comedian, part of me, part of me court jester. 0:00:49.960 --> 0:00:53.160 And he would say, you look like a duck. He said, 0:00:53.159 --> 0:00:54.920 that would look like a duck because of my upper lip. 0:00:55.240 --> 0:00:57.240 I don't know how that works. And then the first 0:00:57.240 --> 0:00:58.840 guy I had a crush on set, I had weird 0:00:58.880 --> 0:00:59.800 lips as well. 0:01:00.880 --> 0:01:01.800 So who do you believe? 0:01:02.360 --> 0:01:03.960 Well, both of them said something your own lips. I've 0:01:03.960 --> 0:01:06.600 always thought they're cute, but they do curl under slightly. 0:01:06.640 --> 0:01:07.480 That's what I get when I do. 0:01:07.560 --> 0:01:09.000 So when I say I really like a toplet. Do 0:01:09.080 --> 0:01:10.040 you think I'm jesting? 0:01:10.440 --> 0:01:11.800 No, No, I thought it's nice. But I just thought 0:01:11.840 --> 0:01:14.680 it's in contrast with perhaps what I was told as 0:01:14.680 --> 0:01:16.320 a young impression and whole taste. 0:01:16.240 --> 0:01:18.400 Or they're seeing something that I can't see. 0:01:18.240 --> 0:01:21.520 The duck esque energy that I had waddling around the quad. 0:01:21.840 --> 0:01:24.119 I say this sort of say, we've got a potty. 0:01:24.160 --> 0:01:26.080 We've got a potty. It's not to do with my lips. 0:01:26.120 --> 0:01:28.560 It's not to do with ducks, but it is to 0:01:28.600 --> 0:01:31.720 do with a moral not a moral dilemma. I guess, 0:01:31.760 --> 0:01:34.679 like an exercise. I thought, I thought, exercise that is 0:01:34.800 --> 0:01:36.920 scary and upsetting. But if you need your car, just 0:01:37.360 --> 0:01:42.040 plug in. You're not needing to talk back. I am 0:01:42.040 --> 0:01:45.559 so just relax, you know, Like I had to answer 0:01:45.600 --> 0:01:48.960 the question, Oh, they just enjoy and think what would 0:01:48.960 --> 0:01:50.400 I like someone messaging to me that I be like, 0:01:50.640 --> 0:01:52.400 I just love listening to you guys, because I think 0:01:52.400 --> 0:01:54.200 about what I would say to flex, and I think 0:01:54.200 --> 0:01:56.080 about what I would say to you, But. 0:01:56.040 --> 0:01:58.320 You don't have to like do it exactly. And here, 0:01:58.360 --> 0:02:01.920 I'm so, what would you answer foods? I don't think 0:02:01.960 --> 0:02:04.000 I want to participate and anyway, so what what do 0:02:04.040 --> 0:02:04.480 you answer? 0:02:04.560 --> 0:02:07.000 I need to sub someone in for these ones. Let's 0:02:07.000 --> 0:02:07.480 get to it. 0:02:07.640 --> 0:02:12.000 Cat Flex and froomes. You're listening to flex and frooms. 0:02:12.120 --> 0:02:13.040 What the frick? 0:02:13.200 --> 0:02:15.400 I've been cooking this one. I've been cooking a lot, actually, 0:02:15.440 --> 0:02:17.520 because the thoughts have been coming? 0:02:18.040 --> 0:02:18.400 Ready? 0:02:18.720 --> 0:02:23.360 Yes, would you rather people say that they can't trust 0:02:23.400 --> 0:02:26.960 you or that they can't be themselves around you? 0:02:27.080 --> 0:02:29.400 They're not good? Are they? They're not good? And these 0:02:29.400 --> 0:02:30.520 are my favorite kind. 0:02:30.960 --> 0:02:34.480 These are my favorite kind because then we spend less 0:02:34.480 --> 0:02:37.000 time saying like what's the right answer, and just like 0:02:37.040 --> 0:02:38.280 what answer suits you best? 0:02:38.320 --> 0:02:39.440 I'm trying to get to know you, babe. 0:02:40.440 --> 0:02:45.680 I want to say I'd rather them say they can't 0:02:45.720 --> 0:02:49.280 be themselves around me, because that could be positive. 0:02:50.880 --> 0:02:54.559 But like, I'm a pig, but around you, I'm not, babe. 0:02:54.280 --> 0:02:56.360 And I can't be a pig around you. No farting, 0:02:56.400 --> 0:02:59.440 no burping you Brookie producer. 0:03:00.160 --> 0:03:02.239 I'm looking at you. You're looking at book. 0:03:02.320 --> 0:03:04.720 I'm looking at you. I told you I'm off far 0:03:04.880 --> 0:03:08.840 human twenty twenty three. Ok, Yeah, I would rather. I 0:03:08.840 --> 0:03:13.440 think I like the idea of people trusting me. Yeah, 0:03:14.160 --> 0:03:16.519 I don't want to be deemed as an untrustworthy person. 0:03:16.639 --> 0:03:16.920 Why not? 0:03:17.760 --> 0:03:20.600 Because I don't like I'd like to feel that people 0:03:20.600 --> 0:03:24.800 around me feel comfortable. And if you can't be trusting, 0:03:24.840 --> 0:03:27.160 people are on guard, whereas oh, I guess the same 0:03:27.240 --> 0:03:30.959 with not feeling comfortable. What's yours? So wait, when when 0:03:31.040 --> 0:03:33.240 you say being interrogated. 0:03:32.720 --> 0:03:36.080 Now, when you say you you would rather people trust you, 0:03:37.080 --> 0:03:39.120 is that by any means necessary. 0:03:39.120 --> 0:03:39.280 Like. 0:03:41.080 --> 0:03:41.600 I think no. 0:03:41.720 --> 0:03:46.640 I would rather it's the term untrustworthy, yeah, rather than 0:03:46.720 --> 0:03:48.240 can't trust me. You know, like if you're an un 0:03:48.760 --> 0:03:53.800 I think, oh, you're shifty, you're malicious. 0:03:54.200 --> 0:03:56.720 What if you're just a storyteller? Like sometimes you's like, 0:03:56.880 --> 0:03:59.560 didn't know that was sacred? I just told someone, Oh. 0:03:59.440 --> 0:04:04.040 We all know that the town crier. I don't want 0:04:04.040 --> 0:04:04.720 to be that person. 0:04:05.000 --> 0:04:07.280 Would I rather people say that they can't trust me 0:04:07.440 --> 0:04:10.240 or that they can't be themselves around me? I would 0:04:10.320 --> 0:04:16.800 rather people say they can't be themselves around me, because 0:04:17.200 --> 0:04:20.960 that feels like it's less to do with me, Like 0:04:21.000 --> 0:04:23.320 it is my issue, right, Like it's obviously an impact 0:04:23.360 --> 0:04:26.760 I'm having on somebody else. But the solution feels very simple. 0:04:27.320 --> 0:04:30.120 Let's just not hang out because like, clearly it's not meshing. 0:04:30.440 --> 0:04:33.400 Maybe it's a compatibility thing, Maybe it's a chemistry thing, 0:04:33.440 --> 0:04:37.159 maybe it's a personality thing. If someone is like I 0:04:37.160 --> 0:04:39.840 don't feel like I can trust you, that makes it 0:04:40.360 --> 0:04:42.000 that makes me feel like it's something I need to 0:04:42.040 --> 0:04:44.680 immediately fix. And I don't think I would know what 0:04:44.720 --> 0:04:47.200 the solution was, right, because what if it's just a vibe. 0:04:47.560 --> 0:04:50.600 What if we've never had an interaction where I've deemed 0:04:50.600 --> 0:04:53.599 myself untrust whether I told your secret or I took 0:04:53.640 --> 0:04:55.520 something from you, but you've already got the vibe. 0:04:55.520 --> 0:04:56.400 Well, what am I meant to do? 0:04:56.960 --> 0:05:00.160 I just feel like that's a you problem that I've 0:05:00.160 --> 0:05:03.040 got to hold onto until it stops being You probably. 0:05:02.680 --> 0:05:05.200 Figure it out how you've twisted it to be their problem. 0:05:05.279 --> 0:05:06.039 No, you know what I mean? 0:05:06.120 --> 0:05:08.280 Like you know how it's almost like when you when 0:05:08.320 --> 0:05:10.880 you have a when you have a vibe, you can't shake. 0:05:11.000 --> 0:05:13.159 What am I meant to do? It's like, let's say 0:05:13.400 --> 0:05:15.680 we walked into a room together and you're like, oh. 0:05:15.680 --> 0:05:17.640 I've got a weird vibe? What can I do? 0:05:18.320 --> 0:05:20.320 But now it's my problem because you've said it out 0:05:20.360 --> 0:05:22.960 loud and we're like, okay, is it the temperature? Is 0:05:22.960 --> 0:05:24.560 it like is it, you know, like don't like the 0:05:24.600 --> 0:05:26.160 color of the paint, Like, what are we going to 0:05:26.240 --> 0:05:26.800 do about it? 0:05:26.880 --> 0:05:28.520 But now I've got to share that with you. 0:05:28.800 --> 0:05:31.600 Yeah, bring the vibe down, Bring the vibe down, kip 0:05:31.600 --> 0:05:32.040 to yourself. 0:05:32.080 --> 0:05:35.200 Okay, Oh that's interesting. 0:05:35.680 --> 0:05:38.040 Yeah, that's a really hard one because I feel like 0:05:38.080 --> 0:05:42.680 they're actually quite similar. Yeah, like the reasons I the 0:05:42.720 --> 0:05:44.520 things I don't like about them are the same, which 0:05:44.560 --> 0:05:47.920 is that making people around me feel uncomfortable and making 0:05:47.920 --> 0:05:51.839 people not like me rather Yeah. 0:05:51.000 --> 0:05:53.440 The reason why I wrote this question. 0:05:53.360 --> 0:05:56.320 Is because I'm a liar who you don't feel comfortable around. 0:05:57.320 --> 0:05:59.480 Okay, projecting it was a joke, if you want to 0:05:59.560 --> 0:06:00.400 unpack unpacked? 0:06:00.480 --> 0:06:02.480 Why are my jokes not landing? 0:06:05.160 --> 0:06:07.760 I was thinking about this because I was at a 0:06:07.800 --> 0:06:11.760 bar and I was going bar, Like, what do you 0:06:11.800 --> 0:06:12.039 call it? 0:06:12.080 --> 0:06:14.760 Bar hopping? Yeah? I think yeah, bar hopping going from 0:06:14.800 --> 0:06:15.800 bar different. 0:06:15.520 --> 0:06:19.400 Bars, and at each bar, and on the way to 0:06:19.480 --> 0:06:22.080 each bar, me and my friend kept running into people 0:06:22.320 --> 0:06:24.599 like not our mutual friends, but like he would know 0:06:24.600 --> 0:06:26.280 a friend and I would know someone, and then we 0:06:26.400 --> 0:06:28.159 go to a different bar and then there'd be people who, 0:06:28.200 --> 0:06:30.080 like you want to like they come over for a 0:06:30.080 --> 0:06:33.600 bit or whatever, and I just like, you know how 0:06:33.640 --> 0:06:36.720 when you are when you don't know everybody there, well, 0:06:36.839 --> 0:06:39.760 you can easily find yourself on the fringe of a conversation. 0:06:40.160 --> 0:06:43.080 While someone's talking, people were saying like some really hectic 0:06:43.120 --> 0:06:46.200 things right, like personal things not about them, no, no about 0:06:46.240 --> 0:06:49.280 their person, about mutual friends and stuff. Were like, I 0:06:49.560 --> 0:06:51.680 don't know if they I was thinking to myself, are 0:06:51.720 --> 0:06:54.520 you saying this because you trust that I won't tell anyone? 0:06:55.040 --> 0:06:57.120 Or are you saying this because you think it's fine 0:06:57.160 --> 0:07:01.000 information to share? And I was thinking, no matter which 0:07:01.040 --> 0:07:03.520 one it was, it all centered on trust, like some 0:07:03.800 --> 0:07:07.840 part of you chit chatting with a bunch of strangers 0:07:08.360 --> 0:07:12.080 feel safe to share this information, like you implicitly trust 0:07:12.720 --> 0:07:15.160 that it's gonna be well received, that it's not gonna 0:07:15.160 --> 0:07:16.640 go back to the person. And I was like, I 0:07:16.640 --> 0:07:20.800 don't know if I want that feeling like what about 0:07:20.800 --> 0:07:22.680 me has encouraged you to do that? And maybe it's 0:07:22.720 --> 0:07:25.400 not even personal, maybe it's nothing about me. But then 0:07:25.440 --> 0:07:28.200 I thought, fuck, what's the alternative, Like someone saying I 0:07:28.240 --> 0:07:31.560 don't want to have this conversation around you like, oh, 0:07:31.640 --> 0:07:33.240 actually no, we'll talk. 0:07:33.080 --> 0:07:35.720 About it later. It's like you think I don't have. 0:07:36.040 --> 0:07:39.559 Tact You think I can't give a scotch, and maybe 0:07:39.560 --> 0:07:40.000 I can't. 0:07:40.280 --> 0:07:41.160 You know, maybe I can't. 0:07:41.200 --> 0:07:44.679 But I thought, damn, like that would really sting because 0:07:44.720 --> 0:07:48.000 for a second there I was judging them for speaking 0:07:48.040 --> 0:07:52.200 so freely, right, for like trusting implicitly trusting that we 0:07:52.320 --> 0:07:55.120 all know that like this is vault right, you know 0:07:55.200 --> 0:07:57.280 that I'm not gonna tell anyone and this is not 0:07:57.320 --> 0:07:58.320 gonna leave this circle. 0:07:58.400 --> 0:08:01.320 But should you do that? Should you drive? 0:08:03.000 --> 0:08:05.640 And then I was wigging out, so immediately I put 0:08:05.640 --> 0:08:06.720 this in my notes. I was like, I need to 0:08:06.800 --> 0:08:07.800 mull over this because I. 0:08:07.760 --> 0:08:09.240 Feel like this, say hey. 0:08:09.320 --> 0:08:13.120 I immediately took it to the group chat. No, I 0:08:13.160 --> 0:08:15.200 was just mulling over. I was like, Okay, there's something there, 0:08:15.200 --> 0:08:17.080 but I don't know what I'm asking. And then the 0:08:17.160 --> 0:08:21.800 other one like would you rather people say they can't 0:08:21.800 --> 0:08:23.160 be themselves around you? 0:08:23.480 --> 0:08:25.520 Because that was also it also. 0:08:25.320 --> 0:08:27.680 Like because I was on the fringe of that conversation 0:08:27.800 --> 0:08:30.200 and I was already like, hmmm, a fringe of one 0:08:30.200 --> 0:08:34.240 of these conversations. I was like, I want to say something, 0:08:34.280 --> 0:08:36.040 but I don't want to create a weird vibe because 0:08:36.040 --> 0:08:38.000 it's not that deep. Like I don't actually care, but 0:08:38.080 --> 0:08:39.559 if it was a group of my friends, I would 0:08:39.559 --> 0:08:41.800 say something it'd be like funny, like damn, like do 0:08:41.800 --> 0:08:43.000 you know what I mean? So I'm like now like 0:08:43.000 --> 0:08:47.280 I'm not being myself. I'm taking like a weird position, 0:08:47.440 --> 0:08:50.120 like I was overthinking. I just had too much time 0:08:50.160 --> 0:08:52.040 with my thoughts, and I was like, I can't be 0:08:52.120 --> 0:08:54.640 myself in this conversation because I've overthought it to the 0:08:54.640 --> 0:08:57.520 point where it's not even fun to enjoy this anymore. Right, 0:08:57.600 --> 0:09:01.280 So this is off your internal Yeah, yes, because I 0:09:01.400 --> 0:09:03.800 heard this information, I don't want to hear it. 0:09:04.200 --> 0:09:05.520 I know that I didn't want to hear it. Actually, 0:09:05.559 --> 0:09:06.760 I was just like I was thinking too much. 0:09:06.800 --> 0:09:09.439 I was like, damn, what if this person was telling 0:09:09.480 --> 0:09:10.680 my business in this way? 0:09:10.720 --> 0:09:13.199 Like this is not surface level gossip. This was like 0:09:13.240 --> 0:09:16.120 a little bit intense, like for friends and me. 0:09:17.120 --> 0:09:20.080 So I was like, damn, like I don't even know 0:09:20.080 --> 0:09:21.800 if I want to be a part of this conversation. 0:09:22.080 --> 0:09:24.520 And then now I'm like, but they're so comfortable and 0:09:24.520 --> 0:09:26.760 so like why would I ruin the vibe? And am 0:09:26.800 --> 0:09:29.600 I going to rush to change the conversation because of 0:09:29.600 --> 0:09:30.240 what reason? 0:09:30.320 --> 0:09:30.640 I don't know. 0:09:30.679 --> 0:09:32.520 I was just like in my head that day, but 0:09:32.559 --> 0:09:35.240 I was like, this would make a good question because 0:09:35.280 --> 0:09:37.640 either way the outcome is not great, but like you 0:09:37.720 --> 0:09:42.840 gotta sit with it, hypothetically sit. 0:09:42.960 --> 0:09:46.319 I will ask everyone that question, would. 0:09:46.120 --> 0:09:47.120 You rather s what is it? Again? 0:09:47.280 --> 0:09:49.520 Would you rather people say they can't trust you or 0:09:49.559 --> 0:09:53.800 they can't be themselves around you? Flex and is the 0:09:53.880 --> 0:09:56.840 answer to all of your life's problems being delusional? That's 0:09:56.840 --> 0:10:02.320 the question we're trying to answer today on flex and frooms. Yes, no, yeah, yeah, 0:10:02.360 --> 0:10:04.880 in some ways. Look, every generation has their own version 0:10:04.920 --> 0:10:08.520 of positivity and optimism and optimism I was gonna say optimivity, 0:10:08.960 --> 0:10:16.400 which has a ring to it anyway. There's manifestation, mantras, affirmations, mindfulness, 0:10:16.440 --> 0:10:19.440 all of the above, but this one in particular seems 0:10:19.480 --> 0:10:21.880 to have a few people in a bit of a chokehold. 0:10:21.920 --> 0:10:24.480 They're really resonating with it, and other people think it's 0:10:24.480 --> 0:10:27.960 like a one stop shop to some kind of spiritual 0:10:28.000 --> 0:10:30.920 psychosis or like actual delusion where you're so out of 0:10:30.920 --> 0:10:33.959 touch with the way the world works that you break 0:10:34.000 --> 0:10:38.440 something in the brain. That it is called lucky girl 0:10:38.760 --> 0:10:43.320 syndrome gendered for a reason I'm not sure, but on TikTok. Currently, 0:10:43.360 --> 0:10:47.440 there's a trend that's encouraging women worldwide to believe that 0:10:47.559 --> 0:10:50.880 they are in fact lucky girls. And what they do 0:10:51.120 --> 0:10:53.200 is they I mean, I don't think they say to 0:10:53.240 --> 0:10:56.520 these things out loud, but they create videos that kind 0:10:56.760 --> 0:11:00.440 of present to themselves and the world the kind of 0:11:00.480 --> 0:11:03.360 things that they are aspying for by framing it this way, 0:11:04.000 --> 0:11:07.839 I am such a lucky girl. Everything always works out. 0:11:08.120 --> 0:11:10.360 I'm so lucky that today when I leave the house, 0:11:10.600 --> 0:11:13.200 the best thing is going to happen to me. Nothing 0:11:13.240 --> 0:11:15.760 ever goes wrong because I'm such a lucky girl. And 0:11:15.840 --> 0:11:19.240 various affirmations like that. Now, in some cases you might think, yeah, 0:11:19.280 --> 0:11:21.360 you know, for some people that like that is true. 0:11:21.440 --> 0:11:24.360 You know, maybe you do experience lucky in like varying degrees. 0:11:24.400 --> 0:11:26.679 But other people kind of think it gives you the 0:11:26.720 --> 0:11:29.760 opportunity to bypass reality in a way that's not that healthy. 0:11:30.520 --> 0:11:32.680 A lot of the critique about lucky your syndrome is 0:11:32.679 --> 0:11:36.600 that it takes away your agency. People start living in 0:11:36.600 --> 0:11:41.160 this very like stagnant state. We're instead of actively working 0:11:41.200 --> 0:11:43.959 towards the things that will make you feel good and 0:11:44.040 --> 0:11:47.000 solid and happy, you kind of just wade around in 0:11:47.040 --> 0:11:50.840 this stagnant state, deceiving yourself or trying to shield yourself 0:11:50.880 --> 0:11:54.720 from your reality in favor of this like very odd 0:11:54.760 --> 0:11:57.439 act of like posting about how lucky you are, even 0:11:57.440 --> 0:12:00.400 if it contradicts your current reality. A few other examples 0:12:00.440 --> 0:12:02.440 of lucky Girl's syndrome. There's this girl here is like 0:12:02.960 --> 0:12:05.400 it wasn't until I genuinely believe that great things were 0:12:05.400 --> 0:12:07.880 happening to me, that they happened right, and people are 0:12:07.960 --> 0:12:10.760 kind of like or you're just becoming aware that good 0:12:10.800 --> 0:12:13.480 things happen all the time in varying degrees and you 0:12:13.559 --> 0:12:17.000 just never notice because until it was framed as luck, 0:12:17.440 --> 0:12:18.960 you thought it wasn't important. 0:12:19.240 --> 0:12:22.000 I'm not sure I do. I have seen the brows 0:12:22.080 --> 0:12:24.640 furrow two three times through me. How do you feel 0:12:24.800 --> 0:12:25.320 about this? 0:12:25.600 --> 0:12:27.800 Well, I'm interested that you don't really vibe with it, 0:12:27.840 --> 0:12:29.760 because to me it sounds quite spooky. 0:12:30.760 --> 0:12:34.600 Yeah, but I think my spool like I'm actually spooky, 0:12:34.920 --> 0:12:38.679 like raise religious spooky, like believe in God spooky. I'm 0:12:38.720 --> 0:12:44.040 not like online wo wo like pop culture spooky. And 0:12:44.080 --> 0:12:46.040 I think that's a bit of the dissonance here, where 0:12:46.080 --> 0:12:49.040 like I fundamentally believe in the concept of faith, I 0:12:49.200 --> 0:12:53.160 fundamentally believe in the concept of fate. I fundamentally believe 0:12:53.200 --> 0:12:56.400 in the concept that there are higher powers working in 0:12:56.480 --> 0:12:59.120 tandem to make sure my life is good. Maybe that's 0:12:59.120 --> 0:13:01.480 my mum, you know, maybe it's my best friend. I 0:13:01.520 --> 0:13:05.320 don't know, but I feel gifted that I have opportunities 0:13:05.400 --> 0:13:08.360 that other people don't have. I feel lucky, But I 0:13:08.400 --> 0:13:10.320 also think that like look at my day to day, 0:13:11.000 --> 0:13:14.319 like I work eighteen hours, Like is it really lucky 0:13:14.480 --> 0:13:16.680 at a certain point or is it just like constantly 0:13:16.720 --> 0:13:19.680 working towards a thing and then recognizing when it happens. 0:13:19.760 --> 0:13:22.360 I don't really know, but I will say like a 0:13:22.360 --> 0:13:25.840 big cornerstone of my personality is like doing stuff and 0:13:25.920 --> 0:13:29.760 like getting things done and working towards a goal. And 0:13:29.800 --> 0:13:33.040 like these affirmations don't tell you to do that at 0:13:33.080 --> 0:13:35.920 no point is lucky girl syndrome saying like think this 0:13:36.040 --> 0:13:38.320 way and then like get out the house and like 0:13:38.480 --> 0:13:42.160 plant that tree and you know, have that conversation. It's 0:13:42.320 --> 0:13:44.560 just saying if you sit there and believe it, it'll 0:13:44.600 --> 0:13:48.320 be true. And it's not true, do you know, Like 0:13:48.360 --> 0:13:50.839 you're not You're almost like it's like fake it till 0:13:50.840 --> 0:13:54.360 you make it. Culture like fake it until you make it. 0:13:54.400 --> 0:13:56.960 But it's not just like faking it for it's entiredy. 0:13:57.000 --> 0:13:59.800 There's not doing an access there, right, And the faking 0:13:59.840 --> 0:14:03.480 it meant to help platform you, elevate, you bolster you 0:14:03.520 --> 0:14:05.800 give you a sense of confidence in order to do 0:14:05.840 --> 0:14:09.800 that thing. It isn't confidence, it isn't conviction. 0:14:09.640 --> 0:14:13.840 Right, tell the multi level marketers literally love. 0:14:13.880 --> 0:14:17.520 But in the same vein, I do like this idea 0:14:17.559 --> 0:14:21.360 that people are like releasing themselves from the chokehold of 0:14:21.440 --> 0:14:23.000 like depression meme culture. 0:14:23.800 --> 0:14:26.200 Yeah, like change it up. I'm like much happy that 0:14:26.240 --> 0:14:27.520 this is the vibe you know. 0:14:27.520 --> 0:14:29.920 When I was deep in that like twenty seventeen. Yeah, 0:14:31.400 --> 0:14:32.840 heralded in that. 0:14:32.840 --> 0:14:34.520 That's okay, that's okay. 0:14:34.640 --> 0:14:35.240 We can move on. 0:14:36.160 --> 0:14:38.360 Flex and frooms say the best. What did you o? 0:14:39.240 --> 0:14:40.760 I was on TikTok the other day and I came 0:14:40.800 --> 0:14:45.200 across this video that explained how what you want is 0:14:45.240 --> 0:14:47.960 actually a substitute for what you need. 0:14:48.280 --> 0:14:48.960 Oh explain. 0:14:49.520 --> 0:14:54.480 For example, if you want a fast car, it means 0:14:54.480 --> 0:14:57.520 you want power and this whole other lists of other things. 0:14:57.920 --> 0:15:02.160 If you want a relationship, you really just want physical touch. 0:15:02.840 --> 0:15:10.520 If you continue, please pay. 0:15:12.280 --> 0:15:14.960 If you want give me an example, from what you 0:15:15.000 --> 0:15:19.240 want that's a substitute for what you need. Okay, well 0:15:19.320 --> 0:15:20.280 just explain it to me in the way that you 0:15:20.360 --> 0:15:21.600 understand it. 0:15:21.600 --> 0:15:24.560 It's like, you know, I don't understand concepts. 0:15:25.000 --> 0:15:28.200 No, but like you're I don't know, it's insane, but 0:15:29.480 --> 0:15:34.600 I can't what a relationship just a hug is said. 0:15:34.960 --> 0:15:38.200 It's like that, Okay, that's more achievable. 0:15:38.240 --> 0:15:43.800 It's like it's like if you want to eat comfort food, 0:15:44.400 --> 0:15:47.000 you need a hug if you want it. 0:15:47.240 --> 0:15:50.280 Okay, let me explain. It's essentially how all these. 0:15:50.200 --> 0:15:57.480 Markers of like power, love, societal like brackets are really 0:15:57.520 --> 0:15:59.160 just you need these really simple things. 0:15:59.200 --> 0:16:01.560 Oh you're saying, can kind of all be like whittled 0:16:01.560 --> 0:16:04.800 down into this one core simple thing. Yes, or as 0:16:04.840 --> 0:16:06.800 we grow we like over complicate it. We'd be like, no, 0:16:06.880 --> 0:16:08.480 I want this specific. 0:16:07.960 --> 0:16:10.880 Thing, like if you want to buy a house. 0:16:11.000 --> 0:16:13.600 See saying, everyone who wants to be in a relationship 0:16:14.400 --> 0:16:20.040 at their core just needs to be touched. 0:16:20.680 --> 0:16:23.480 No. So an example would be you you think you 0:16:23.560 --> 0:16:26.360 really want a relationship, yeah, but you actually just need 0:16:26.640 --> 0:16:29.360 physical touch. You actually just need to be intimate with somebody. 0:16:29.360 --> 0:16:33.080 You actually need These examples or these are facts these 0:16:33.080 --> 0:16:35.160 are like examples of this concept. 0:16:35.960 --> 0:16:37.120 I wish you had the concept. 0:16:37.280 --> 0:16:39.440 I know, because I feel like it's in my head. 0:16:39.480 --> 0:16:43.200 It sounds like correlation doesn't equal causation. So like we 0:16:43.240 --> 0:16:47.520 could say, right that everybody who has aspirations for like 0:16:48.120 --> 0:16:53.480 traditionally flashy things, big watches, you know, big necklaces, fast cars, 0:16:54.160 --> 0:16:58.560 just want to be seen. Mm hm maybe, but that's 0:16:58.600 --> 0:17:01.400 not exactly true exactly, So that's what I'm trying to 0:17:01.440 --> 0:17:04.760 understand from this. Has he given those examples because like 0:17:05.040 --> 0:17:07.240 he's like, this is an example of how this could be, 0:17:07.520 --> 0:17:12.359 or he's saying this is this is someone's fundamental drive 0:17:12.400 --> 0:17:16.600 for relationship, it's touch someone's fundamental drive for a fast 0:17:16.640 --> 0:17:17.639 car is power? 0:17:18.200 --> 0:17:20.959 No, I think it was like an empowering way of 0:17:21.000 --> 0:17:22.840 looking at how all these things that you think you 0:17:22.880 --> 0:17:25.399 want can actually be achieved through other means that are 0:17:25.440 --> 0:17:28.280 more accessible to the average person. So, yeah, if you 0:17:28.280 --> 0:17:30.080 want a really fast car but you know you can't 0:17:30.080 --> 0:17:33.119 afford it, maybe actually have you considered you might actually 0:17:33.119 --> 0:17:38.960 want this into skydiving? Yeah, or just yeah, I wish 0:17:38.960 --> 0:17:40.960 that I had it. It was a TikTok, which is classic. 0:17:42.280 --> 0:17:45.840 Okay, So is it like the concept of like an MVP, 0:17:46.119 --> 0:17:48.680 like a minimum viable product. So often when we think 0:17:48.720 --> 0:17:50.840 about the thing that we want to achieve, we think 0:17:50.840 --> 0:17:54.679 of it in its most complex, beautiful, shiny form. Like 0:17:54.760 --> 0:17:57.960 you said, I want the relationship, we put it on 0:17:58.119 --> 0:18:02.640 a pedestal it's the trophy, when realistically there are elements 0:18:02.680 --> 0:18:06.000 of a relationship that we could have access to today. 0:18:06.400 --> 0:18:08.880 Like you want companionship, you can get that right now. 0:18:09.000 --> 0:18:11.159 You want intimacy, you can get it right now. You 0:18:11.160 --> 0:18:12.359 want someone to go to the movies where you can 0:18:12.400 --> 0:18:13.160 get it right now. 0:18:13.240 --> 0:18:14.760 Yeah, but they're not perfect. 0:18:14.440 --> 0:18:17.960 So exactly More similarly, like you really think that you 0:18:17.960 --> 0:18:21.000 want to go on this amazing holiday because you've pedestalized 0:18:21.000 --> 0:18:23.800 as this thing that's going to change your life. It's 0:18:23.840 --> 0:18:25.879 going to shake things up for you. It's going to 0:18:25.960 --> 0:18:29.440 invite this lust for life, and realistically, there are small 0:18:29.480 --> 0:18:32.159 ways that you can get that feeling by switching up 0:18:32.280 --> 0:18:35.640 your routine. Is that So it's like the there are 0:18:35.680 --> 0:18:39.399 simpler ways to like bypass the thing you think you 0:18:39.440 --> 0:18:40.879 need in the short term, not to so. 0:18:40.960 --> 0:18:43.320 You can't want for things in the long term, but 0:18:43.400 --> 0:18:44.200 an option. 0:18:44.400 --> 0:18:45.919 Yeah, And I guess it just goes down to the 0:18:45.920 --> 0:18:48.720 thing of like when you're on your deathbed, do you 0:18:49.040 --> 0:18:52.040 are all these things that you wanted that you necessarily achieved. 0:18:52.119 --> 0:18:53.280 They the things that are important? 0:18:53.520 --> 0:18:54.680 So how did it resonate with you? 0:18:54.720 --> 0:18:54.760 Like? 0:18:54.800 --> 0:18:56.680 What did you think of when you were watching that video? 0:18:57.440 --> 0:18:59.520 I just thought it was like a good not a 0:18:59.560 --> 0:19:01.320