WEBVTT - Walk down memory lane - Talking Body Dysmorphia 0:00:20.239 --> 0:00:22.919 Hey, guys, it is producer Keisha here, and if you 0:00:22.960 --> 0:00:25.000 listened to last week's episode, you would have heard Laura 0:00:25.040 --> 0:00:26.920 and Britt say that they were on their midyear break, 0:00:26.960 --> 0:00:28.840 which is where they are right now, which is why 0:00:28.880 --> 0:00:29.639 you're stuck with me. 0:00:29.880 --> 0:00:31.360 And some of you are probably like, who the heck 0:00:31.440 --> 0:00:32.280 is this extra chick. 0:00:32.800 --> 0:00:35.720 I am the behind the scenes girl that is a 0:00:35.760 --> 0:00:38.360 part of Life on Cut, and I've got some really 0:00:38.440 --> 0:00:40.760 exciting things coming up for you this week. Somehow, I 0:00:40.880 --> 0:00:42.839 actually don't know how we've managed to do this, but 0:00:43.080 --> 0:00:43.919 we've ended. 0:00:43.720 --> 0:00:45.400 Up with more episodes than normal. 0:00:45.600 --> 0:00:48.920 Tomorrow you are going to be having an extra bonus 0:00:48.960 --> 0:00:53.720 episode of dating accidentally unfiltered stories. If I'm being completely honest, 0:00:53.720 --> 0:00:56.120 this was probably the funniest episode of Life on Cut 0:00:56.120 --> 0:00:59.200 I've ever edited or listened to. I had to pause 0:00:59.320 --> 0:01:01.120 midway through it editing it and send the girls a 0:01:01.200 --> 0:01:03.800 video because I was crying of laughter. I'm in the 0:01:03.880 --> 0:01:06.200 dating world with you, guys, and it's an absolute shit show, 0:01:06.360 --> 0:01:10.360 and these stories prove to me that I am not alone. 0:01:10.480 --> 0:01:13.520 They are possibly the most cooked dating stories I've ever 0:01:13.560 --> 0:01:15.520 heard in my life, and for a lot of us 0:01:15.560 --> 0:01:17.400 at the moment, we need a laugh, and this episode 0:01:17.440 --> 0:01:20.240 is going to be a laugh and a half. On Thursday, 0:01:20.360 --> 0:01:23.360 something very exciting is happening. Laura will actually be catching 0:01:23.400 --> 0:01:25.640 up with India Oxenburg, and some of you might recognize 0:01:25.640 --> 0:01:28.959 that name because we did an interview with India in January. 0:01:29.000 --> 0:01:31.520 She was the victim of a sex cult called Nexium, 0:01:31.720 --> 0:01:34.600 and there's actually been some developments in that case. Alison Mack, 0:01:34.640 --> 0:01:36.760 who was an actress on Small vilm and a part 0:01:36.840 --> 0:01:40.080 of the Nexium sex cult, was charged for her crimes. 0:01:40.160 --> 0:01:41.440 And so we're just going to be catching up with 0:01:41.480 --> 0:01:43.679 India and finding out how she's been since we spoke 0:01:43.720 --> 0:01:45.640 to her last. That will be dropping in your feeds 0:01:45.720 --> 0:01:48.720 on Thursday and today. 0:01:48.720 --> 0:01:49.440 This is what I mean. 0:01:49.520 --> 0:01:51.840 The Girls go on holidays and somehow you guys end 0:01:51.960 --> 0:01:54.720 up with more content. Don't worry, I'm working behind the scenes. 0:01:55.120 --> 0:01:57.160 Today We're actually going to be taking a trip down 0:01:57.200 --> 0:02:00.880 memory lane to episode forty four that was released last June. Now, 0:02:00.880 --> 0:02:03.200 the Girls has spoken a whole bunch about comparison culture 0:02:03.240 --> 0:02:05.320 and about the effects of social media and how much 0:02:05.320 --> 0:02:07.680 it can kind of have a play on our mentality 0:02:08.200 --> 0:02:10.000 and the reason we thought this episode was quite timely 0:02:10.040 --> 0:02:11.680 at the moment is because there have been some really 0:02:11.720 --> 0:02:14.560 really interesting laws passed over in Norway. 0:02:14.120 --> 0:02:16.799 Throughout the week. They actually require. 0:02:16.400 --> 0:02:20.040 Any photos posted on social media by influencers or by 0:02:20.080 --> 0:02:23.600 models and celebrities that include edited faces and bodies to 0:02:23.639 --> 0:02:26.200 have a disclaimer on them, and they say that this 0:02:26.240 --> 0:02:29.440 is in a bold attempt to curb unrealistic beauty standards online. 0:02:29.600 --> 0:02:30.840 People all over the world. 0:02:30.680 --> 0:02:33.000 Are just going absolutely crazy for this, saying that this 0:02:33.120 --> 0:02:34.800 is amazing that they wish that it was brought in 0:02:34.800 --> 0:02:37.960 in places like Australia. So basically, it makes it illegal 0:02:37.960 --> 0:02:40.640 to publish any images of models or influences that have 0:02:40.680 --> 0:02:44.680 been retouched without having this government established symbol on them. 0:02:44.880 --> 0:02:46.960 The new laws apply to any photos or videos that 0:02:47.000 --> 0:02:49.160 include people with altered bodies, and they say that it 0:02:49.200 --> 0:02:52.560 includes things like enlarged lips, edited muscles, and wastelines. 0:02:52.760 --> 0:02:54.040 So it's pretty massive. 0:02:54.160 --> 0:02:56.000 Like this is a really bold thing and it's going 0:02:56.040 --> 0:02:58.680 to be coming into the laws in Norway. 0:02:58.320 --> 0:03:00.919 After the King approves. It is pretty incredible. 0:03:01.400 --> 0:03:04.520 So let's jump into this chat about body dysmorphia and 0:03:04.840 --> 0:03:08.000 social media and we'll join you tomorrow for your bonus 0:03:08.000 --> 0:03:10.720 episode of Accidentally Unfiltered Dating Stories. 0:03:15.200 --> 0:03:17.639 Today's culture is so obsessed with looking and. 0:03:17.600 --> 0:03:19.880 Acting young, and we want to talk about a topic 0:03:20.040 --> 0:03:23.079 that we think is really important to women and men, 0:03:23.120 --> 0:03:26.720 but especially our youth, and that is body dysmorphia. Have 0:03:27.080 --> 0:03:29.960 you heard of it, Laura, Yes, that's why we're talking 0:03:30.000 --> 0:03:32.200 about it. The real problem if I hadn't, Wow, So 0:03:32.240 --> 0:03:36.040 it was a rhetorical question. Bring the goods, Brittany, give 0:03:36.080 --> 0:03:41.040 us an intro. Body dysmorphia syndrome or BDS is also 0:03:41.200 --> 0:03:44.080 known as and it's something that affects a lot of people, 0:03:44.080 --> 0:03:45.920 and that's why we wanted to delve into it. And 0:03:45.960 --> 0:03:49.240 I think it's because we sort of bombarded daily with 0:03:49.320 --> 0:03:52.880 images via magazines and billboards and the TV and the Internet, 0:03:53.240 --> 0:03:55.040 and it's all about what the person looks like. It's 0:03:55.040 --> 0:03:57.360 all about they seem beautiful and they seem perfect. And 0:03:57.400 --> 0:04:00.000 I think that really creates some issues in young people, 0:04:00.000 --> 0:04:05.040 people thinking that they think to be successful they need 0:04:05.080 --> 0:04:07.400 to be beautiful. They think to be successful, they need 0:04:07.480 --> 0:04:09.440 to be perfect, and they need to look a certain way. 0:04:09.480 --> 0:04:11.400 They need to look like the model, and they need 0:04:11.440 --> 0:04:14.119 to look like the TV presenter. And I think that 0:04:14.680 --> 0:04:17.520 really plans this deep seated issue in a lot of people. 0:04:17.880 --> 0:04:19.599 So for those of you who don't know what body 0:04:19.640 --> 0:04:23.320 dysmorphia is, it is basically this obsession with the way 0:04:23.320 --> 0:04:26.040 that you look, which may not actually relate to what's 0:04:26.080 --> 0:04:28.680 happening in real life. So, for example, people who have 0:04:28.720 --> 0:04:31.200 this illness constantly worry about the way they look. They 0:04:31.200 --> 0:04:35.800 believe and inconspicuous or relatively non existent physical attribute is 0:04:35.839 --> 0:04:38.520 a serious defect. I think a lot of people often 0:04:38.560 --> 0:04:39.919 have it about their skin. 0:04:40.000 --> 0:04:40.560 For example. 0:04:40.600 --> 0:04:43.440 They can become very obsessive about something that they deem 0:04:43.440 --> 0:04:45.800 as a flaw, that that other people might look at 0:04:45.839 --> 0:04:48.400 and go, oh gosh, there's literally nothing there. It's this 0:04:48.480 --> 0:04:54.240 obsessive nature that really is what creates this illness. And basically, 0:04:54.279 --> 0:04:56.440 I think you know when people are looking at themselves 0:04:56.480 --> 0:04:59.640 in the mirror all the time, constantly checking something, constantly 0:04:59.680 --> 0:05:00.800 compare the way they. 0:05:00.680 --> 0:05:01.640 Look to other people. 0:05:02.200 --> 0:05:05.320 These are all symptoms and signs of a type of 0:05:05.320 --> 0:05:09.360 body dysmorphia. And body dysmorphia itself has many, many levels. 0:05:09.360 --> 0:05:12.680 There is people who have very extreme cases and it's debilitating, 0:05:13.120 --> 0:05:15.160 and then there are people who have very mild cases 0:05:15.320 --> 0:05:17.560 where they may deem a certain thing a flaw about 0:05:17.600 --> 0:05:20.719 themselves and they have obsessive tendencies over it, but doesn't 0:05:20.720 --> 0:05:23.200 completely overrun their day or their ability to live a 0:05:23.240 --> 0:05:23.880 normal life. 0:05:24.200 --> 0:05:24.400 Yeah. 0:05:24.440 --> 0:05:29.760 Absolutely, The severity can differ from people that know that 0:05:29.920 --> 0:05:31.800 what they're seeing and what they're thinking and what they're 0:05:31.800 --> 0:05:35.320 feeling isn't rational and isn't justified. So they're looking at 0:05:35.360 --> 0:05:39.960 themselves and they might, for example, they might say, oh 0:05:40.000 --> 0:05:42.920 my god, I'm so fat, but they know that they're 0:05:42.920 --> 0:05:44.279 putting their size ten genes on. 0:05:44.360 --> 0:05:46.560 They know they're not. So there's those people, But then. 0:05:46.480 --> 0:05:48.960 There are the people that it really really cause emotional 0:05:49.000 --> 0:05:52.960 distress and it can really affect their entire life because 0:05:53.160 --> 0:05:57.600 they completely believe that what they're seeing is real, and 0:05:57.640 --> 0:06:00.640 what they're seeing is actually has no connection to reality. 0:06:00.680 --> 0:06:02.240 It's not them in any means, and that. 0:06:02.320 --> 0:06:05.280 Sometimes sometimes they see things on their face that aren't there, 0:06:05.320 --> 0:06:08.440 they see things on their body that aren't there, And 0:06:08.480 --> 0:06:11.560 it's really concerning because it's led to quite a high 0:06:11.680 --> 0:06:14.480 level of depression and suicide in teenagers. And that's why 0:06:14.520 --> 0:06:16.160 I think it's so important to highlight now. 0:06:16.520 --> 0:06:18.160 So one of the reasons why we wanted to talk 0:06:18.200 --> 0:06:21.000 about this on today's episode was because there was a 0:06:21.040 --> 0:06:24.440 post that went up. Kim Kardashian had posted a video 0:06:25.080 --> 0:06:27.440 of herself wearing a corset, and there was a really 0:06:27.480 --> 0:06:32.080 interesting conversation that happened on Jamila Jimil's Instagram page. She's 0:06:32.160 --> 0:06:35.000 a British actress, a radio presenter, a model, a writer, 0:06:35.160 --> 0:06:38.640 an activist and a feminist. And what she has written 0:06:38.640 --> 0:06:42.000 on her Instagram is so interesting because she kind of 0:06:42.400 --> 0:06:46.160 encapsulates and really shows how the changing times in social media, 0:06:46.760 --> 0:06:49.200 how there has been a bit of a revolt. Basically, 0:06:49.200 --> 0:06:51.719 the photo that Kim Kardashin has posted, it's a video 0:06:51.800 --> 0:06:54.120 and it's her wearing her corset from the Met gala, 0:06:54.200 --> 0:06:59.680 where her waist is incredibly almost like unbelievably tiny. 0:07:00.080 --> 0:07:02.560 You didn't see the video that she posted, if like, so, 0:07:02.640 --> 0:07:04.000 I saw the photo and I thought it's got to 0:07:04.000 --> 0:07:06.920 be photoshopped. But then she's obviously realized that too, and 0:07:07.120 --> 0:07:09.520 Kim Kanashi's posted a video so that she can prove 0:07:09.600 --> 0:07:12.480 us not photoshopped. And it's ridiculous. You guys need to 0:07:12.480 --> 0:07:13.880 go and have a Google look it up. 0:07:13.960 --> 0:07:14.560 It's insane. 0:07:14.600 --> 0:07:19.840 It's it doesn't it looks so unbelievably not a real person. 0:07:19.920 --> 0:07:22.000 That's how tiny her waist is. She looks like a 0:07:22.000 --> 0:07:25.240 Barbie doll in this. We actually received messages to our 0:07:25.280 --> 0:07:27.560 own instagram saying like this is such a good topic 0:07:27.560 --> 0:07:29.480 for conversation, which is why we wanted to kind of 0:07:29.520 --> 0:07:32.200 delve into it deeper. I really feel like Jamila jimil 0:07:32.440 --> 0:07:36.600 really encapsulated the most perfect response about this post. So 0:07:37.080 --> 0:07:39.360 what she's said in her Instagram, and I would love 0:07:39.400 --> 0:07:40.800 for you to go and read it because it's just 0:07:41.000 --> 0:07:44.840 it's literally the most perfectly worded response to what is 0:07:44.880 --> 0:07:47.760 happening on social media, and what she's said there is 0:07:47.760 --> 0:07:50.520 that there's no point in screaming at Kim herself. The 0:07:50.560 --> 0:07:52.480 smart thing to do is to protect yourself from the 0:07:52.520 --> 0:07:55.040 images that you see on social media. But also if 0:07:55.120 --> 0:07:57.920 you look at something like that and you recognize that 0:07:57.920 --> 0:07:59.960 that's wrong and that that is going to do hard 0:08:00.200 --> 0:08:03.200 to other people, and that that isn't like the image 0:08:03.200 --> 0:08:06.680 we should be putting out there for a realistic and 0:08:06.760 --> 0:08:10.000 attainable body, then the work's already done. You're already woke 0:08:10.080 --> 0:08:11.320 to what's happening in society. 0:08:11.400 --> 0:08:14.480 Well, you can already recognize that it's damage and it's 0:08:14.560 --> 0:08:17.160 unnatural and it's not right and it's causing havoc. I 0:08:17.160 --> 0:08:19.440 guess what Jamila Jamila is saying is that if you 0:08:19.520 --> 0:08:22.440 recognize that this is that this is toxic, and you 0:08:22.480 --> 0:08:25.880 recognize that it's damaging, you're able to kind of disengage 0:08:25.920 --> 0:08:29.520 with Instagram pages or with people or celebrities who don't 0:08:29.560 --> 0:08:31.320 make you feel good about yourself. But I think that 0:08:31.320 --> 0:08:35.200 that's the first step in recognizing and unpacking this idea 0:08:35.240 --> 0:08:38.040 of body dysmorphia. But it's funny, isn't it, Because so 0:08:38.160 --> 0:08:42.199 many people recognize how ridiculous it is and how unattainable 0:08:42.240 --> 0:08:45.120 it is, and how damaging it is, but they still 0:08:45.160 --> 0:08:48.440 follow pages. It's like a train wreck. They can't unfollow it. 0:08:48.440 --> 0:08:50.880 They know what makes them feel bad, but they can't 0:08:50.960 --> 0:08:53.960 unfollow it. It's like almost this obsession with the unnatural 0:08:54.000 --> 0:08:54.920 and the unattainable. 0:08:55.000 --> 0:08:57.480 I think that it's almost a little bit easy to say, oh, 0:08:57.600 --> 0:08:59.839 just tune out and unsubscribe it, unfollow the things that 0:09:00.040 --> 0:09:02.960 you know make you feel bad, because it's everywhere. It's 0:09:03.000 --> 0:09:05.439 not just on the Instagram pages that you were elect 0:09:05.600 --> 0:09:09.440 to follow on Instagram. It's in marketing, it's in retail. 0:09:09.840 --> 0:09:14.040 It's this total lack and underrepresentation of diversity in what 0:09:14.080 --> 0:09:16.920 people look like, which is what creates this feeling of 0:09:16.960 --> 0:09:17.840 not being good enough. 0:09:17.920 --> 0:09:20.760 So I mean, I know, like us growing up when 0:09:20.800 --> 0:09:24.120 I was like what in the nineties, the idea of 0:09:24.120 --> 0:09:26.640 what was beautiful in the nineties was like heroin chic, 0:09:26.760 --> 0:09:30.640 like think Kate Moss, young sos, sucking, underweight, like super 0:09:30.640 --> 0:09:33.040 super skinny, if you look like you had a drug 0:09:33.040 --> 0:09:35.600 at a drug addiction like, that's what was deemed beautiful. 0:09:35.600 --> 0:09:39.640 And it was literally called heroin chic and so ridiculous 0:09:39.640 --> 0:09:42.040 when you think about it, isn't it outrageous? You didn't 0:09:42.040 --> 0:09:43.719 think of what the name meant when you were young. 0:09:43.760 --> 0:09:45.559 You were like, oh, heroin chic, but you didn't think them, 0:09:45.760 --> 0:09:47.720 oh that we're saying, she actually looks like a junkie. 0:09:47.800 --> 0:09:48.920 She looks like a heroin. 0:09:48.640 --> 0:09:50.520 At it, and that shit's chic. 0:09:51.120 --> 0:09:53.240 But that was the that was the goalpost that we 0:09:53.280 --> 0:09:56.520 grew up with. And I remember girls in school aspiring 0:09:56.559 --> 0:09:58.400 to want to look like that, and I remember girls 0:09:58.559 --> 0:10:00.680 that were young adults in my university wanting to aspider 0:10:00.720 --> 0:10:03.920 look like that. It changes throughout the years, but there's 0:10:04.000 --> 0:10:06.480 always been this one constant, which is this lack of 0:10:06.559 --> 0:10:10.680 diversity in what represents beauty and we have seen just recently, 0:10:10.760 --> 0:10:12.960 which I think is another amazing point to bring into 0:10:13.000 --> 0:10:15.560 this chat. So for anybody who missed it, Calvin Klein 0:10:15.600 --> 0:10:18.160 has recently released a new billboard in New York City 0:10:18.400 --> 0:10:23.400 which features black plus sized model and LGBT icon Jari Jones, 0:10:23.520 --> 0:10:26.160 and I think that this in itself, it's a really 0:10:26.240 --> 0:10:28.040 amazing image. Go and have a look at that as well. 0:10:28.240 --> 0:10:32.120 But turn around, yes, so basically on one side, they've 0:10:32.120 --> 0:10:33.760 got a photo of what Calvin Klein had as their 0:10:33.800 --> 0:10:35.760 model in the nineties and now what they have in 0:10:35.760 --> 0:10:39.400 the twenties, and you know in twenty twenty and that in. 0:10:41.040 --> 0:10:43.160 The wild and outrageous twenties. 0:10:43.240 --> 0:10:46.760 But it shows how far we have come in now 0:10:46.880 --> 0:10:50.080 representing different types of beauty, but there is still a 0:10:50.240 --> 0:10:53.880 very long way to go. I remember, so, like you said, 0:10:53.880 --> 0:10:56.560 when we were growing up and heroin chic was a thing, 0:10:57.360 --> 0:11:03.400 I definitely suffered from dysmorphia. I until not that long ago. 0:11:03.480 --> 0:11:05.680 I still sort of do suffer from it, to the 0:11:05.760 --> 0:11:11.200 point where it really really affected my life. I looked 0:11:11.200 --> 0:11:15.600 at myself like I was the biggest, ugliest thing. And 0:11:15.679 --> 0:11:18.560 I'm not just saying I was like having a down day. 0:11:18.960 --> 0:11:22.160 There were times where I couldn't look at myself in 0:11:22.160 --> 0:11:23.920 a mirror. I would not look at myself in a 0:11:23.920 --> 0:11:26.160 mirror for days on end because I was I was 0:11:26.240 --> 0:11:30.320 actually disgusted at what I saw. I would not take photos. 0:11:30.320 --> 0:11:31.679 I would not let people take photos of me. I 0:11:31.679 --> 0:11:34.720 would be beside myself, and my family used to I 0:11:34.720 --> 0:11:38.480 stopped eating, like developed an eating disorder, and my family like, 0:11:38.520 --> 0:11:40.120 you've been like, we didn't know. 0:11:40.040 --> 0:11:41.640 What it was then, like you're being ridiculous. 0:11:41.640 --> 0:11:44.840 But I genuinely believed that what I saw something different 0:11:44.840 --> 0:11:46.959 looking back at me in the mirror, And over the 0:11:47.160 --> 0:11:50.559 years it got a lot lot better, where I finally 0:11:50.559 --> 0:11:52.600 got to the point where I had changed from being 0:11:52.640 --> 0:11:56.440 severe to less severe, where I realized that I wasn't 0:11:56.440 --> 0:11:59.040 making sense, and really I started to tell myself, you've 0:11:59.040 --> 0:12:01.600 been ridiculous because because you're putting on size eight pants, 0:12:02.360 --> 0:12:05.280 you're not overweight, You're wearing size eight. And I really 0:12:05.400 --> 0:12:07.080 had to start to talk myself out of it and 0:12:07.160 --> 0:12:11.320 put myself back into reality and say, if you had 0:12:11.360 --> 0:12:13.840 a weight problem, you wouldn't be putting size eight pants on. 0:12:14.240 --> 0:12:16.000 I still wasn't liking what I saw, but it took 0:12:16.040 --> 0:12:17.920 me a long time to get there, and it was 0:12:17.960 --> 0:12:21.520 a real, really really hard time. And I still, up 0:12:21.600 --> 0:12:23.360 until a couple of years ago, was still battling that 0:12:23.440 --> 0:12:25.760 to an extent. And my sister always has to pull 0:12:25.760 --> 0:12:27.360 me in line. She always had to say to me, 0:12:28.200 --> 0:12:31.880 tell me what size you're wearing, tell me, like, you're beautiful, Brittany, 0:12:31.880 --> 0:12:33.480 look at this photo like, because I would be like, 0:12:33.520 --> 0:12:35.920 I can't even look at myself, and it's really worrying 0:12:35.920 --> 0:12:37.960 because I don't want anyone to have to go through that. 0:12:38.200 --> 0:12:40.600 I think it's interesting what you say that you used 0:12:40.600 --> 0:12:42.680 to feel like that, because I don't know if it 0:12:42.679 --> 0:12:45.600 ever fully leaves you, like when you have these feelings 0:12:45.640 --> 0:12:48.200 of I think when you have these insecurities and you 0:12:48.240 --> 0:12:50.000 don't feel like you're good enough, I don't think it 0:12:50.040 --> 0:12:53.000 completely completely goes away. I think that you just get 0:12:53.040 --> 0:12:55.880 better at managing it and you grow to accept things 0:12:55.880 --> 0:12:58.120 about yourself. But I still think that there's always this 0:12:58.559 --> 0:13:03.800 level of underlying insecurity that stays there, and maybe it 0:13:03.840 --> 0:13:06.320 can flare up depending on triggers, because obviously you can 0:13:06.320 --> 0:13:08.600 be triggered by things that people say, can be triggered 0:13:08.640 --> 0:13:11.880 by things that you read. I myself, like we've spoken 0:13:11.920 --> 0:13:14.320 about this on a past episode, but really briefly, so 0:13:14.360 --> 0:13:15.719 I think it's nice to kind of delve into a 0:13:15.760 --> 0:13:18.840 little bit deeper. After the show and being on the Bachelor, 0:13:19.000 --> 0:13:21.640 I became really really self conscious about the way that 0:13:21.720 --> 0:13:24.040 I look. And that's not something that I've ever really 0:13:25.000 --> 0:13:27.480 worried about so much, not from a vanity perspective, but 0:13:27.600 --> 0:13:31.000 just because it never I never really thought about it. 0:13:31.000 --> 0:13:34.040 It wasn't until after doing the show where I would 0:13:34.040 --> 0:13:38.200 see pat photos of myself and I was being scrutinized 0:13:38.200 --> 0:13:41.000 by people on social media saying whether I was pretty 0:13:41.080 --> 0:13:44.440 enough or not that I really really really started to 0:13:44.440 --> 0:13:47.200 get insecure about the way that I look. And particularly 0:13:47.240 --> 0:13:49.640 for me, it was about my skin because I suffer 0:13:49.679 --> 0:13:52.240 from pigmentation. I've spoken about a lot in my social 0:13:52.280 --> 0:13:55.559 media now, but I get pigmentation. I get really bad malasma, 0:13:56.440 --> 0:13:59.600 and you know, I have done loads of things to 0:13:59.640 --> 0:14:00.800 my skin to get rid of it. 0:14:00.880 --> 0:14:03.320 I have had a crazy. 0:14:02.880 --> 0:14:06.480 Hectic, couple thousand dollar peals that left me unable to 0:14:06.520 --> 0:14:08.800 leave house for ten days because I literally burnt my 0:14:08.840 --> 0:14:11.640 hair my face off, like I burnt my face off 0:14:11.679 --> 0:14:13.360 because I really wanted to get rid of it. And 0:14:13.440 --> 0:14:15.680 I became obsessed by it to the point where every 0:14:15.760 --> 0:14:18.040 day I was taking photos of my skin to see 0:14:18.040 --> 0:14:19.880 how bad it was, and every day I was checking 0:14:19.880 --> 0:14:22.720 it in the mirror. And that has changed now. I 0:14:22.840 --> 0:14:25.400 definitely don't have the same insecurities about it. 0:14:25.400 --> 0:14:27.960 It's still there. It's actually worse than ever after pregnancy. 0:14:28.040 --> 0:14:32.240 But for me, what kind of shifted my mentality towards 0:14:32.240 --> 0:14:35.720 it was having Maley. Like I think since becoming a mum, 0:14:35.840 --> 0:14:39.880 I have become less self focused and less worried about 0:14:39.880 --> 0:14:41.960 the way that I look. And there was like a 0:14:42.080 --> 0:14:44.320 very clear line in the sand when that changed me, 0:14:44.400 --> 0:14:47.000 and that was Marley. It's funny when you say that 0:14:47.120 --> 0:14:49.800 we never really shake it, because if I'm going to 0:14:49.800 --> 0:14:51.880 be completely honest, and I will be and I'm gonna 0:14:51.880 --> 0:14:52.440 be really raw. 0:14:52.480 --> 0:14:52.720 Here. 0:14:53.080 --> 0:14:55.760 When I was in the finale of The Bachelor, when 0:14:56.160 --> 0:15:00.040 Nick told me he wasn't going to be with me, 0:14:59.560 --> 0:15:03.760 I member saying to myself, of course, he wasn't gonna 0:15:03.800 --> 0:15:06.360 be with you. Look at you? Why why would anyone 0:15:06.400 --> 0:15:08.800 pick you? This is what this is my internal monologue. 0:15:08.880 --> 0:15:10.600 I was like, of course, like if anyone in the 0:15:10.600 --> 0:15:12.800 whole world, Brittany is gonna be the first person to 0:15:12.920 --> 0:15:15.960 not be good enough to win. It's you, like, and 0:15:16.000 --> 0:15:17.640 I was really bad to myself. I was like, you 0:15:17.640 --> 0:15:19.480 should have known better. You can't believe you did this 0:15:19.520 --> 0:15:23.360 to yourself. And I convinced myself that he it wasn't 0:15:23.400 --> 0:15:25.680 his problem. The reason he didn't pick anyone was me. 0:15:26.200 --> 0:15:27.040 It was he was He. 0:15:26.960 --> 0:15:30.800 Couldn't he could not fathom to wake up to me 0:15:30.800 --> 0:15:32.120 every day and to look at me every day. And 0:15:32.160 --> 0:15:36.440 it was a really really low point. So you definitely 0:15:36.480 --> 0:15:38.520 don't always shake it, and you're not going to grow 0:15:38.560 --> 0:15:41.320 out of it. And I haven't said that before, So 0:15:41.360 --> 0:15:41.640 there you go. 0:15:42.600 --> 0:15:44.240 That was me being really wrong. 0:15:44.360 --> 0:15:48.600 Guys, but different triggers, different things that happen in your 0:15:48.600 --> 0:15:51.280 life can trigger that feeling of not being good enough 0:15:51.280 --> 0:15:54.720 and that feeling of insecurity. It doesn't ever completely go away. 0:15:54.800 --> 0:15:56.760 And like I know that, you know that that's not 0:15:56.800 --> 0:15:59.440 the case with like your finale, Like I know that 0:15:59.520 --> 0:16:02.280 now you can rationalize it and look back and go forill. 0:16:02.320 --> 0:16:04.280 There was twenty four other girls in that season and 0:16:04.320 --> 0:16:06.560 nobody got picked. Like, it wasn't a reflection on you 0:16:06.640 --> 0:16:09.280 as a person. It's a reflection on him. But it 0:16:09.320 --> 0:16:12.760 doesn't mean that that doesn't make you question or look 0:16:12.800 --> 0:16:15.200 at yourself and try and pick apart. Why are you 0:16:15.280 --> 0:16:16.400 not the one that's good enough? 0:16:16.840 --> 0:16:18.600 Yeah, it's hard tough. 0:16:18.720 --> 0:16:21.440 The thing with this idea of body dysmorphia is that 0:16:21.560 --> 0:16:23.920 it is a lot more common than what people realize. 0:16:24.000 --> 0:16:27.280 It only really comes into the limelight when someone has 0:16:27.360 --> 0:16:30.160 such a severe issue with it that they're having to 0:16:30.160 --> 0:16:32.880 seek treatment. I think that so many women have different 0:16:32.960 --> 0:16:36.520 varying levels of body dysmorphia that never really get talked 0:16:36.520 --> 0:16:40.080 about or spoken about because it doesn't affect there every day, 0:16:40.160 --> 0:16:43.000 but they do have this internal monologue where they're thinking, Okay, 0:16:43.200 --> 0:16:45.560 my skin's not good enough, my eyebrows are not this, 0:16:45.720 --> 0:16:49.960 my lips are not this, And that's their internal thought patterns. 0:16:49.960 --> 0:16:51.840 That's what they're telling themselves all the time. And I 0:16:51.880 --> 0:16:53.760 think that that's going to be really relatable to a 0:16:53.800 --> 0:16:56.120 lot of women who are listening to this, because I mean, 0:16:56.200 --> 0:16:58.400 I know that I've done it so many times in 0:16:58.440 --> 0:17:00.160 my life. I just don't tell people that that's what 0:17:00.200 --> 0:17:02.160 I'm thinking. Breaking it down and kind of getting into 0:17:02.400 --> 0:17:06.520 what constitutes bodydysmorphia, what are some symptoms where you would 0:17:06.520 --> 0:17:08.720 be able to identify Okay, oh my god, this is what. 0:17:08.920 --> 0:17:10.439 This is what I'm doing to myself. This is what 0:17:10.480 --> 0:17:11.840 I'm struggling with at the moment. 0:17:12.000 --> 0:17:12.240 Yeah. 0:17:12.280 --> 0:17:15.320 So look, in terms of common areas that people struggle 0:17:15.359 --> 0:17:19.440 with and symptoms, according to the Victorian Government Health Channel, common. 0:17:19.040 --> 0:17:20.840 Areas are facial skins. 0:17:20.840 --> 0:17:22.560 So it's funny you said that, Laura, because that's the 0:17:22.680 --> 0:17:26.920 number one thing that the Victorian Health Government says people 0:17:26.920 --> 0:17:30.640 with body dysmorphia suffer from is it's looking at their skin. 0:17:30.760 --> 0:17:33.240 Oh my god, I was so I cannot explain to 0:17:33.280 --> 0:17:35.639 you how fixated I was on it for a while. Yeah, 0:17:35.640 --> 0:17:38.399 and now, like I still don't. Don't get me wrong, guys, 0:17:38.400 --> 0:17:40.879 Like I'm not over it. I still worry about it. 0:17:40.880 --> 0:17:43.120 It's still something that I feel very insecure about from 0:17:43.119 --> 0:17:45.840 time to time. It was like it was something I 0:17:45.920 --> 0:17:48.560 thought about all day every day, Like that was where 0:17:48.560 --> 0:17:50.439 my head was at in regards. I thought about what 0:17:50.480 --> 0:17:52.560 my skin looked like. I would be having conversations with 0:17:52.600 --> 0:17:55.160 people and they might look at me in a funny way, 0:17:55.200 --> 0:17:57.360 and I would think, oh, that they're looking at my malasma. 0:17:57.400 --> 0:17:59.400 That's what they're thinking. That my plasma is really bad. 0:17:59.560 --> 0:18:01.480 So funny because I don't even notice it on you 0:18:01.520 --> 0:18:03.480 I'm not even saying that, but that just goes to 0:18:03.520 --> 0:18:06.560 show you how it's this huge thing for you. And 0:18:06.640 --> 0:18:08.600 I look at you every day and I'm not even 0:18:08.680 --> 0:18:10.359 tooted in your horn. I always walk into Laura and 0:18:10.400 --> 0:18:11.560 I'm like, you look really great today. 0:18:11.760 --> 0:18:13.920 It happened this one time. So I went to Mama 0:18:14.000 --> 0:18:18.119 Mirr to record a podcast and with Tully smythe I 0:18:18.119 --> 0:18:20.960 was recording podcasts with Tully and I remember her coming up. 0:18:21.040 --> 0:18:22.680 Was the first time I'd ever seen her in real life, 0:18:22.720 --> 0:18:24.359 and she came up and spoke to me, and I 0:18:24.440 --> 0:18:25.800 looked at her and I was like, oh, my god, like, 0:18:25.800 --> 0:18:29.600 your skin's so perfect. And then she was talking to 0:18:29.640 --> 0:18:31.760