Speaker 1: Life on Cut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose
Speaker 1: lands were never seated. We pay our respects to their
Speaker 1: elders past and present.
Speaker 2: Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was
Speaker 2: recorded on drug Wallamuta Land. Hey guys, and welcome back
Speaker 2: to another episode of Life on Cut. I am Brittany
Speaker 2: and I am Laura, and Laura has been singing really
Speaker 2: badly for about ten minutes.
Speaker 3: I know it's the first time you've acknowledged it.
Speaker 2: Do you know why.
Speaker 1: I think you're trying to like set the mood, But
Speaker 1: in my head, I'm like, shut up.
Speaker 4: I try good, and I'm like, bro, no, vibe with
Speaker 4: the stars, yes, masting No, Well I would shake my
Speaker 4: entire nuddars in your face, but I feel like that
Speaker 4: might be stepping acrossing a line.
Speaker 2: So instead, I've just been trying to bring the vibes
Speaker 2: with a bit of a like a fir I left
Speaker 2: that way. You should totally fly away. No, it's not
Speaker 2: that bad. I maybe it was a bit bad. Can
Speaker 2: we discuss something? What is this a dress or a jacket?
Speaker 2: Where you want it to be corduroy. It's corduroy. I'm
Speaker 2: bringing Cordray back in. I don't think Corduroy's not in.
Speaker 2: I think it can be in like kind of like sexy.
Speaker 1: Couch Corduey, cud or Cortery was not in for a
Speaker 1: long time. I think it's back in now, probably because
Speaker 1: of me. Okay, yeah, yes, set in the fashion stands
Speaker 1: over here. Could be a dress, could be a jacket,
Speaker 1: could be naked underneath. It could be wearing a two
Speaker 1: piece suit. Who knows.
Speaker 2: I like to keep people guessing, and you're guessing.
Speaker 3: So it's worked perfect a new dress.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I being right along. It's therapy Thursday. It certainly is.
Speaker 2: And this is where we answer, oh you're deep, you're dark,
Speaker 2: and you're burning questions.
Speaker 1: Before we get into that, I want your opinion on something.
Speaker 1: I don't know how to take this. This is what
Speaker 1: someone said to me yesterday. I don't know if it's
Speaker 1: supposed to be a compliment or offensive.
Speaker 3: It's probably a backhanded compliment that actually is just I'm
Speaker 3: trying to work that out.
Speaker 2: Somebody wrote it's like, you look good for your age,
Speaker 2: or do you know what my favorite one is. This
Speaker 2: is what I'm getting recently. Well, God, you look good
Speaker 2: for someone who's had two kids, and I'm like, that's
Speaker 2: not really good, is it. That's because your bod so fire,
Speaker 2: but only for someone who's had two kids. Yeah, not
Speaker 2: as good as someone who hasn't had kids, Just as
Speaker 2: good as you could look for someone who's had too.
Speaker 1: Looks like when someone says a sentence with hey, no offense,
Speaker 1: but you're super ugly, You're.
Speaker 2: Like, well, that's still offensive. No offense, but I'm going
Speaker 2: to say something super offensive right now. But I've given
Speaker 2: myself a caveat, so it's fine. Anyway. Well, somebody told
Speaker 2: me in my DMS that I look like Shrek's wife
Speaker 2: what's her name, Fiona? But the human Fiona. No, that's nice,
Speaker 2: is it though? Because it's the princess Fiona. She's sort
Speaker 2: of cute, but she channels the ogre like she's still
Speaker 2: a human in inverted commas, but is made to look
Speaker 2: like the ogre that's turning to a human. I'm not
Speaker 2: sure if it's a compliment or not.
Speaker 3: Have you watched Shrek. She's hot when she's a human.
Speaker 2: I take that absolutely as a compliment, and she's very
Speaker 2: funny when she's not. So look, you know, isn't she
Speaker 2: still like so isn't she supposed to be like a
Speaker 2: bit of a bit of b No, did you even
Speaker 2: google her? I'll show you, let me google it. I
Speaker 2: just pictured the ogre. True, she's hot ish Yeah see
Speaker 2: now you've pulled her up.
Speaker 3: You're like for an ogre. She's hot for an ogre.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, so I would be hot if I was
Speaker 2: an ogre. Is that what you're saying? I don't know.
Speaker 2: That's what someone said, and I was like, okay, I
Speaker 2: don't know what to do with that. I'm pretty sure
Speaker 2: she just looks like Cameron Diaz to be fair, well,
Speaker 2: Cameron Diaz is the voice, right, Okay, anyway, that's not
Speaker 2: a hot take. We're going to move right along.
Speaker 3: Let's just say it's a compliment, yes, semi backhanded.
Speaker 2: Well, there was something that we spoke about on Tuesday's episode,
Speaker 2: and that was what constitutes the lowest effort that somebody
Speaker 2: could put into a date, Like how low could someone go?
Speaker 2: How okay and you go And we don't mean the no,
Speaker 2: we don't mean the limbo. We mean what's the bare minimum?
Speaker 2: And we were talking about a guy who he met
Speaker 2: with a chick on Hindel who knows who knows what
Speaker 2: the dating site was irrelevant, but basically he asked a
Speaker 2: girl out on an ice cream date, and her response
Speaker 2: to that was that she was very unimpressed that it
Speaker 2: was such a bare minimum date. She's like, fuck you
Speaker 2: ice cream, mare fucking hate ice cream and fun. And
Speaker 2: we kind of disagree. We thought that that wasn't necessarily
Speaker 2: a bare minimum date. And then I reflected on the
Speaker 2: fact over the last couple of days about how I
Speaker 2: dated a man whose bed was on the floor. He
Speaker 2: had no bed base, he just had a mattress and
Speaker 2: no sheets. So when we think about bed when we think.
Speaker 3: About bare minimums, I've been there.
Speaker 2: But we did the call out to you guys, and
Speaker 2: we asked, what is a date that you've been on
Speaker 2: that was truly the most unbelievable bare bones of a date,
Speaker 2: the bare minimum, And you guys came through with the goods. Okay.
Speaker 1: He invited me over for coffee, said he was really
Speaker 1: good at making it. He used an s Cafe Blend
Speaker 1: forty three instant delicious.
Speaker 2: This guy that I had been vibing for quite a
Speaker 2: while picked me up and took me out for a
Speaker 2: nice lunch. We went through Maca's drive through.
Speaker 1: I drove one point five hours and he made me
Speaker 1: bathe his sphinx cat. I don't think that's a code
Speaker 1: word for penis either.
Speaker 2: Imagine how it was though. Okay, so he said he
Speaker 2: would make a nice dinner for the two of us
Speaker 2: and chuck two muscle meals in the microwave.
Speaker 3: Oh imagine going over also.
Speaker 2: It might have been crossfitting the next day. If you're
Speaker 2: going over to someone's house and they're making you dinner
Speaker 2: and they don't put any effort into the dinner. They're
Speaker 2: just trying to get straight to the sexy times. Like
Speaker 2: if you're getting a microwave meal, you know where you
Speaker 2: stand in the grand scheme of things.
Speaker 1: We went for a one hour drive around the suburbs.
Speaker 1: No food, no walking, We just drove.
Speaker 2: He paid for his own drinks on his company card,
Speaker 2: but then asked me to pay for mine. I didn't
Speaker 2: even pay for it. To be fair, you can't claim
Speaker 2: that much alcohol on work expenses. Maybe he was just
Speaker 2: trying to do the right thing by the taxman.
Speaker 1: He booked a massage for himself. I had to wait.
Speaker 1: I don't you got a happy ending?
Speaker 2: I imagine just being Can you just sit here for
Speaker 2: an hour while I get a massage. But then does
Speaker 2: he return the favor or does he go out and
Speaker 2: spend his life also completely defeats the purpose of spending
Speaker 2: time together on a date. He took me to a
Speaker 2: Mexican restaurant he worked at so he could use his
Speaker 2: stuff discount. That's actually pretty smart. That's still a restaurant.
Speaker 2: You may as well just get a discount. He took
Speaker 2: me to Burger King after we had walked around London
Speaker 2: for a literal hour trying to find the place he
Speaker 2: knew Burgering. Is this place that I've seen You might
Speaker 2: have heard of it. There's an awesome place. I've been
Speaker 2: there before. I mean, it's on this street somewhere, like,
Speaker 2: let's find it. Here it is and it's burger King.
Speaker 2: This is the ultimate.
Speaker 1: He made me split the bill, which is usually fine,
Speaker 1: but we had a coffee. Fucking hell, who is asking
Speaker 1: for two dollars fifty? Actually these days three milk?
Speaker 2: Three dollars? Who is asking for three dollars for half
Speaker 2: a coffee?
Speaker 4: Well?
Speaker 3: Times are tough inflation with red prices.
Speaker 1: Would you pay it if your date said a three
Speaker 1: dollars e would you just laugh?
Speaker 2: Of course? I would pay it absolutely, and then I
Speaker 2: would unmatch him on every platform.
Speaker 1: I would pay and block pay, block lift to be fair.
Speaker 2: And when I reflect back on my past relationships, I
Speaker 2: probably would have given him a second date. The bar
Speaker 2: was fucking low. She would have fucked him bucks. I'd
Speaker 2: pay him three bucks for coffee that had sex with him.
Speaker 2: This is probably my favorite one. My friend went on
Speaker 2: a date where the guy asked if they could go
Speaker 2: to Woolworths because he needed to buy a belt, which
Speaker 2: is so funny because not only did he take you
Speaker 2: on a shopping date to go and get his groceries,
Speaker 2: he went to a shop that doesn't even sell belts,
Speaker 2: which makes me think that he's never actually bought his
Speaker 2: own groceries before, or belts or belts. Okay, this is
Speaker 2: not one that was written in.
Speaker 1: This was a friend and this happened on the weekend,
Speaker 1: and we'll talk about it a later date. I'm sure
Speaker 1: my friend went on a date to KMA. First date.
Speaker 2: That's not a date.
Speaker 3: They met it KMA. That's what you do on Sunday
Speaker 3: when you need to occupy your children.
Speaker 2: And they walked around and they bought something each and
Speaker 2: that was the date. Did they see each other again, like,
Speaker 2: did they have enough chemistry that they were like, Okay,
Speaker 2: let's maybe go out for dinner.
Speaker 1: Not yet, no, right, But then they went home and
Speaker 1: texted each other and were like, great date.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't get to the next generation.
Speaker 2: I get one of my staff so like, I mean,
Speaker 2: I feel so far out of the dating game now.
Speaker 2: But one of my staff, she's in early early twenties,
Speaker 2: and she went on a date with a guy who
Speaker 2: works in marketing recently and he he said to her, Ah,
Speaker 2: I went through your social media doesn't really have good flow.
Speaker 2: I could help you get better flow with your Instagram.
Speaker 2: I was like, on the on the date.
Speaker 3: On the date, it's grim out there.
Speaker 2: Guys. If you're in the trenches of dating, we hear
Speaker 2: you send us your horrible dating stories because we feel it.
Speaker 2: We understand the pool is small and there are not
Speaker 2: a lot of fish in that seat. I just remember
Speaker 2: I went to a date.
Speaker 1: I went on a date in London and like some
Speaker 1: people might froth this, like Ross from Friends would I
Speaker 1: went into like a dinosaur.
Speaker 2: Friends also has about one fucking brain cell between his years.
Speaker 2: He's the dumb one, right, No, he's a paleontologist one,
Speaker 2: but he loves dinosaurs. You don't know Friends? Is that Joey?
Speaker 3: I was about to say, Zoey, Oh, oh.
Speaker 1: My god, you've just you have just crushed my soul
Speaker 1: that you don't even know their names.
Speaker 2: I don't know. I don't watch Friends continue.
Speaker 3: Sorry, No, that was it. We just went to a
Speaker 3: dinosaur museum.
Speaker 2: That was my day. I went to look at a
Speaker 2: dinosaur and a picture. No, it was a pop up.
Speaker 1: It wasn't even the Natural History Museum producer Asia. It
Speaker 1: was a pop up and I had to go across
Speaker 1: the city of London because he loved dinosaurs.
Speaker 2: And I was like, you know, what do you look?
Speaker 2: Actually seems really cool and it could be cool and look,
Speaker 2: I learned something. I saw some pictures, but it wasn't
Speaker 2: the whole Natural History Museum. It was just a dinosaur
Speaker 2: pop up. I think I'd be okay with that, I
Speaker 2: reckon I would. I think I paid for entry. I
Speaker 2: think i'd pay for entry. I'd go and see a
Speaker 2: bit of a t rex and then I probably would
Speaker 2: have had sex with him. Yeah, but didn't see his
Speaker 2: t rex. I just saw a boned t rex. We alright,
Speaker 2: that was the only fossil you got that clos ah right. Well,
Speaker 2: look before we get into answering your questions, there was
Speaker 2: something very very funny that we came across and we
Speaker 2: wanted to bring it to light because we thought.
Speaker 3: That this could be live as opposed to bring it
Speaker 3: to light, we.
Speaker 2: Thought it to your life. No, we're bringing it to
Speaker 2: light because we thought this could be a really great
Speaker 2: tool for you to exercise the next time you are
Speaker 2: in a situation that you're unhappy with, that that is unfavorable,
Speaker 2: and that when you really want to tell someone that
Speaker 2: you're extremely conflict avoidant.
Speaker 3: So I've got a new taip for you now.
Speaker 2: The territory's Health Minister, Professor Lo Chung Mao, he has
Speaker 2: come out and said that they would like Hong Kong
Speaker 2: to be a tobacco and smoke free place. They would
Speaker 2: like for the lovely citizens of Hong Kong to stop smoking.
Speaker 2: And the way to go about that it's not to
Speaker 2: ban it.
Speaker 3: Oh no, don't ban it.
Speaker 2: No, No, don't put fines in place, no laws, don't
Speaker 2: please it. No. Just if you see someone light up
Speaker 2: a cigarette and you don't like it, you should all
Speaker 2: stand around them and stare at them disapprovingly. And I
Speaker 2: think one yes, is fucking hilarious to think about a
Speaker 2: group of grown people just staring at one single individual
Speaker 2: in public disapprovingly. But I think we could all exercise
Speaker 2: this in our normal day to day lives. He literally says,
Speaker 2: this is the healthiness. I suggests just to stare at
Speaker 2: them disapprovingly and don't stop staring. You continue to stare
Speaker 2: until they drop that cigarette out of their mouth. He
Speaker 2: also says the more people that stare, the better, because
Speaker 2: if it's just one starer, like if there's just one
Speaker 2: tobacco sterer, it doesn't have the same impact as twenty
Speaker 2: tobacco stairs. Now, there is something in this.
Speaker 1: Have you ever been in a position where you've done
Speaker 1: something or you're in a situation where you're feeling people
Speaker 1: look at you. It makes you just want to stop
Speaker 1: doing what you're doing at that exact moment, Like, but.
Speaker 2: I don't think I've ever been doing something that's been
Speaker 2: like socially incorrect and then had an entire group of
Speaker 2: complete strangers stare at me.
Speaker 1: Oh, when I was climbing that telegraph hoole naked and
Speaker 1: everyone was looking, I wanted to stop immediately.
Speaker 2: No, but you know what you know.
Speaker 1: What I mean, like the feeling of if one person
Speaker 1: looks at you disapprovingly on something, it's okay because you're
Speaker 1: like okay, bro, like you one person, But if there's
Speaker 1: thirty people around you, like the Hunger Game, staring down
Speaker 1: at you, I want to stop what you're doing.
Speaker 2: I just think this is the most I mean, considering
Speaker 2: that this comes from the Health Minister of Hong Kong,
Speaker 2: it feels like the most juvenile piece of advice that
Speaker 2: you could give in order to police something that you
Speaker 2: want to enact cultural change on the whole thing is
Speaker 2: that they want to culturally change the ethos around smoking
Speaker 2: within Hong Kong. It's also so passive aggressive, but he
Speaker 2: makes a very good point. He goes on to say
Speaker 2: that there are so many things that we do culturally
Speaker 2: without even thinking about it, like the rules that are
Speaker 2: not necessarily prohibited. You know you're not going to get
Speaker 2: fined for it, but we do it because it's socially acceptable.
Speaker 2: For example, like standing in line to get on the
Speaker 2: bus or doing coffee, doing things in an orderly way
Speaker 2: so that there's not just social anarchy and chaos, but
Speaker 2: nobody's made us or told us that we have to
Speaker 2: do things in this specific way. And he was like,
Speaker 2: this is how we create social regulation, and it's by
Speaker 2: being disapproving of the person who's behaving outside of that.
Speaker 2: So he's like, just stand and stare and make them
Speaker 2: feel uncomfortable.
Speaker 1: Almost like a citizen's arrest kind of thing, because he's like,
Speaker 1: if you're in the no smoking area because they have
Speaker 1: no smoking areas. If you're in a no smoking area
Speaker 1: and you can see someone lighting up, if the police
Speaker 1: can't get there in time, take matters into your own
Speaker 1: hands and stare them down.
Speaker 2: That's literally what he's saying. I would love to see
Speaker 2: if this works when the members of the public see
Speaker 2: people smoking and non smoking areas, even if no law
Speaker 2: enforcement officers show up immediately, we can stare at the smokers.
Speaker 2: Could you imagine how that would go down in Australia
Speaker 2: if you were staring at someone smoking, that'd literally be
Speaker 2: like what the fuck you look at? Yeah, like it
Speaker 2: would not Land. I think people are a little bit
Speaker 2: more orderly in Hong Kong, are a little bit more
Speaker 2: pleasant than what they are here rogue arseholes. Okay. The
Speaker 2: thing though, is I think we could exercise this in
Speaker 2: all other areas. People eating with their mouth open. Stare
Speaker 2: at them.
Speaker 1: If you're at the dog park or something and the
Speaker 1: big dog does a big shit and they don't pick
Speaker 1: it up, stare at them. Stare at them, circle around
Speaker 1: them and stare at them.
Speaker 3: That's when it would work.
Speaker 1: But also like people that walk around on loud speaker
Speaker 1: on their phone but with no headphones, you know how
Speaker 1: they hold their phone. And I'm saying this looking at
Speaker 1: Laura Becauselaura has been doing it for about two years.
Speaker 2: Also people who play loud music at the beach and
Speaker 2: they bring their own UI boom to the beach and
Speaker 2: they play music in the park. Stare at them.
Speaker 1: That's a real big, like city beach thing. I think
Speaker 1: it's not really. I don't think rural beaches are having
Speaker 1: that problems. I think it's those like Bond Night there's
Speaker 1: a boombox every two meters. There's a boombox more per
Speaker 1: capita anywhere else in the world.
Speaker 2: Maybe rural places are having it if they go to
Speaker 2: the local park, though you never know when people are
Speaker 2: out and what should be in a public area. Don't
Speaker 2: bring your own boombox. It's rude, but then don't play
Speaker 2: it around the grunde. No one wants to hear it.
Speaker 1: I love her in a grunde. Don't go and attack her.
Speaker 1: She's done nothing in this situation. No, she's fine anyway.
Speaker 2: We just think that you guys could implement this in
Speaker 2: so many other ways in your life. If there's something
Speaker 2: that you're not happy about that's happening in your life,
Speaker 2: don't address it, don't use communication, do it Hong Kong does.
Speaker 2: Just stare them down. Yeah, disapprovingly, so stupid. Alright, let's
Speaker 2: get into your vibe and unsubscribe.
Speaker 1: Kisha has been putting her hand up in the corner.
Speaker 1: She really wants to give a vibe.
Speaker 5: So, I don't know if you guys know Julia Louis Dreyfuss.
Speaker 5: She was loving in Seinfeld. She's like one of the
Speaker 5: OG's of female comedy. So she brought out a podcast
Speaker 5: a couple months ago. I think it was in like April.
Speaker 5: It's called Wiser than Me and so the concept of
Speaker 5: the podcast is that she interviews people who are usually
Speaker 5: older than her. I think everyone on there is older
Speaker 5: than her. The very first episode was with Jane Fonder.
Speaker 5: I'm such a huge fan of Jane Fonder. I kind
Speaker 5: of love everything that she acts in and that she
Speaker 5: does in her personal life. She's this massive climate activist
Speaker 5: and she's really fearless with it. But on this particular episode,
Speaker 5: I really liked how transparent she was with things that
Speaker 5: she regretted in her life. Like she gets on there
Speaker 5: and she says that she was a bad mum, but
Speaker 5: she's a good grandma, and she kind of acknowledges where
Speaker 5: she went wrong with her children and how she's changed
Speaker 5: that to be a better grandma to her grandchildren, And.
Speaker 2: Like she learned the lessons through parenting with the hindsight
Speaker 2: of parenting and how she wished she wanted to do
Speaker 2: it differently, and then being a grandma was like second
Speaker 2: time over. I feel like it's probably really common. Yeah,
Speaker 2: I mean I wonder I think, from anecdotally and subjectively
Speaker 2: from friends that I've spoken to who maybe had a
Speaker 2: challenging relationship with their mum growing up, their moms or
Speaker 2: dads have stepped up to the plate in terms of grandparenting,
Speaker 2: I think that that's something that might be more common
Speaker 2: than what we realize.
Speaker 5: She also speaks about how she regretted getting quite a
Speaker 5: lot of the work done to her face, like the
Speaker 5: whole episode, actually, the whole podcast. I've listened to a
Speaker 5: couple of episodes on there, but this was my particular
Speaker 5: favorite one, and it was the first one, so if
Speaker 5: you're going to listen to it, I would recommend going
Speaker 5: from the start. But I just loved how transparent she
Speaker 5: was about all of these things. You know, I think
Speaker 5: a lot of the time we talk about authenticity in
Speaker 5: interviews and conversations, and I think that most of the time,
Speaker 5: even when we think we're getting a very vulnerable conversation,
Speaker 5: we're probably getting ninety percent because people like to keep
Speaker 5: things to themselves for the multitude of reasons, which is
Speaker 5: completely fair.
Speaker 3: This to me felt so open.
Speaker 5: She was just like, mate, I'm old, I've got nothing
Speaker 5: left to lose.
Speaker 2: Totally true, because you don't care as much.
Speaker 5: Yeah, and I didn't actually know that her dad was
Speaker 5: an actor, and like I kind of didn't know about
Speaker 5: that preciated baby one of the ojos. But it was
Speaker 5: just such an interesting conversation. So yeah, that's my vibe
Speaker 5: of the week. Wiser than Me by Juliet Louis Dreyfuss,
Speaker 5: who you would know as a lane from Seinfeld on wherever.
Speaker 2: You listen to your podcasts, I put out a vibe
Speaker 2: and unsubscribe in the podcast group, like in our Facebook group.
Speaker 3: Lifeun Cut Discussion Group if you're not a part of it,
Speaker 3: And the.
Speaker 2: Overwhelming unsubscribe this week was people unsubscribing from the ATO.
Speaker 2: So I just want to say, I feel you, I
Speaker 2: see you, I hear you. Unfortunately we can't unsubscribe from it.
Speaker 2: Well you can, well you just get primed. Yeah, yeah, prisons,
Speaker 2: but tax evasion. I also, we don't recommend it. We're
Speaker 2: not vibing or on subscriber. Well yeah, we're not unsubscribing,
Speaker 2: but we are feeling you because it fucking sucks this
Speaker 2: time of year, and I feel like more people are disappointed.
Speaker 2: Usually tax return time people are like whoo, And this
Speaker 2: year it feels like everyone's.
Speaker 1: Like, well, it's affecting a lot of the younger people
Speaker 1: that have hex debts. That's where it's really affecting because
Speaker 1: they're paying more tax than they've ever had to pay
Speaker 1: because of the changes that are coming in. So I'm
Speaker 1: seeing a lot of the young people. It's going off
Speaker 1: on TikTok at the moment.
Speaker 2: A lot of young people that are getting tax bills
Speaker 2: because of the hex debt changes.
Speaker 5: Because I fell into this category, I thought that hex
Speaker 5: debts were intersts free, because that's kind of how it's
Speaker 5: preached to you.
Speaker 2: The low interest you'll ever have.
Speaker 5: Yeah, yeah, they're like they're interest free, but they have
Speaker 5: this thing called indexation on them. So mine was going
Speaker 5: up like one thousand dollars a year. I didn't notice
Speaker 5: because I've worked for myself for two and a half years,
Speaker 5: so I hadn't actually paid it off, and my accountant
Speaker 5: was like, hey, this is.
Speaker 2: A huge issue. You gotta pay it.
Speaker 5: I just looked at the whole summation of the amount
Speaker 5: that I owed and it just kept on increasing, and
Speaker 5: I was like, what the fuck.
Speaker 2: Okay, this is a whole other discussion for another day,
Speaker 2: but like, education shouldn't have fucking inflation on it. I'm sorry,
Speaker 2: this is wild anyway, I'm sorry, that's my unsubscribed.
Speaker 1: Well, my you guys are think I'm boring as fuck
Speaker 1: and it's really showing my age.
Speaker 3: But I'm it's like, my vibe is metamucil.
Speaker 2: My vibe is shitting because I get conspentin.
Speaker 3: No, my vibe taking iron supplements.
Speaker 2: It's water free mop free floor mop. Have you ever
Speaker 2: used that? Guys?
Speaker 1: I you guys laugh at me. I'm the only one
Speaker 1: that brings practical vibes. You literally just put all over
Speaker 1: the floor, and you don't It doesn't have to be
Speaker 1: like a water rinse water rinse thing. It's like straight
Speaker 1: to the floor. You don't put in a bucket of water,
Speaker 1: straight from the thing, and then you just quickly do
Speaker 1: the mop. It's the quickest, easiest thing you've ever done.
Speaker 2: I am still so unbelievably obsessed with my electronic vacuum
Speaker 2: mop thing, like my robo it's not a robo mop.
Speaker 3: I don't know what brand it is, but it's so expensive.
Speaker 2: They are expensive. But if you can spend money on
Speaker 2: a vibrator, you can spend money on this robo vac
Speaker 2: thin because if you're vibrators, they are a very different price.
Speaker 2: If I could, I would do both. They both vibrate,
Speaker 2: sit on the vacuum. I was gonna say, I would
Speaker 2: have sex with this thing every single night. If I could,
Speaker 2: I would abstain from sex for the rest of my life.
Speaker 3: If I never have to wash or vacuum a floor again.
Speaker 2: Gets off She sits on the robo vacuum and she
Speaker 2: just scoots around the house on the vacuum. She's cleaning and.
Speaker 1: She's masturbating at the same time, only when Matt's not home.
Speaker 2: Have you seen the videos on.
Speaker 5: Instagram though, where those things have gone wrong, like if
Speaker 5: they've rolled over a.
Speaker 2: Dog bit she goes all over the hound. I did
Speaker 2: get into a deep dark web when I very first
Speaker 2: got my Robovac thing. It's not the Robovac, just so
Speaker 2: you guys know, it's got some other brand. I can't remember,
Speaker 2: but I did go into the deep dark webs of
Speaker 2: people's houses being covered in dog shit.
Speaker 1: There is that one video that went viral of the
Speaker 1: guy that came home. Remember he had a puppy that
Speaker 1: did the ship and.
Speaker 2: The rofo back could put it. It's like on the
Speaker 2: walls because it sprayed, it was on the floot, it
Speaker 2: was in the carpet like the ship. Everywhere.
Speaker 3: Flare still masturbating in the corner.
Speaker 2: Up she gets off on it more because she's like,
Speaker 2: you get that dirts so dirty?
Speaker 3: All right, let's come to answer your question.
Speaker 2: I think there's gonna be a lot of people.
Speaker 1: I'm gonna summarize this because it's long, but I think
Speaker 1: there's gonna be a lot of people that can relate
Speaker 1: to this. My car and partner has an entire drawer
Speaker 1: under his bed of sex toys.
Speaker 2: He's super into them. He's super kinky.
Speaker 3: He's been collecting them for some time.
Speaker 1: He's a collector all the weird and wonderful you can imagine. Like,
Speaker 1: she wrote a big long list everything you could imagine,
Speaker 1: from like swings, whips, to toys, to vibrators to handcuffs,
Speaker 1: like the whole kick from Buzz Buzz to Yeah, there's
Speaker 1: sex books. There's all these different lubes and flavors and everything. Okay,
Speaker 1: it's literally everything.
Speaker 2: Which from the description of this list, we would say
Speaker 2: it would be like thousands of dollars worth of Oh
Speaker 2: she said that.
Speaker 1: She said it's thousands. She said, to be fair, it's thousands. Now,
Speaker 1: this isn't the problem. She's happy to try everything. The
Speaker 1: problem is she feels like it's a bit of an
Speaker 1: ick thinking about how many years he's collected these over
Speaker 1: meaning how many people he's used these on and how
Speaker 1: many things he's done with them. The sex wings and
Speaker 1: the whips and like you know, whips doesn't go in you,
Speaker 1: but it goes on someone Well, it's all associated with
Speaker 1: someone else. It could go yes, Laura, that's right, I could,
Speaker 1: but it's the fact that it's been associated with this
Speaker 1: other person or other people. Can she ask him to
Speaker 1: get rid of them and start a new collection for her,
Speaker 1: knowing how much money they're worth?
Speaker 2: Think if the land feel it's not like you can
Speaker 2: take them to pretty sure in this moment, she's not
Speaker 2: thinking of a landfill, Laura. She's not getting whipped being like, no,
Speaker 2: what guys, We're just coming out of a heat wave
Speaker 2: in the middle of winter, so someone needs to be
Speaker 2: thinking of the landfill and the global warming. Now the
Speaker 2: hell have you gone to landfill in this situation? Is
Speaker 2: what I'm wondering. Would you have an issue with your
Speaker 2: Like if you went to Ben's house and he was like, hey,
Speaker 2: here's a vibrator. Okay, this is Ben. It's my question,
Speaker 2: how would you feel? I don't think I would care.
Speaker 2: But I think the reason why it's become such a
Speaker 2: big thing is because it's very obvious that he's collected
Speaker 2: this over a long period of time, so he's proud
Speaker 2: of the collection.
Speaker 3: He doesn't want to get rid of the collection. But
Speaker 3: she can't think.
Speaker 2: Of anything else when they have sets, except for the
Speaker 2: fact that he's used it on everyone else.
Speaker 1: Okay, controversially, for me, I know there is nothing wrong
Speaker 1: hygienically with using toys that have been used over time,
Speaker 1: because we know you can wash them, you can put
Speaker 1: them in the dishwasher these days, unless he's been collecting
Speaker 1: these since nineteen ninety before, you could throw these things
Speaker 1: in the dishwasher.
Speaker 2: Hy Genically, it's okay. It's like when you put a
Speaker 2: disposable container in it shrinks at because it's one of
Speaker 2: the ones you can't put into the dishwater. I'm like, fuck,
Speaker 2: it's a tiny little vibrator. What the rabbit came about?
Speaker 2: Someone put it in by accident. Well, this is the
Speaker 2: thing right for me personally, and it's just me.
Speaker 1: I know there's nothing wrong with it, but I would
Speaker 1: probably want to bring my own sex toys, new sex
Speaker 1: toys into that situation. So I'm wondering if you can itemize, Let's.
Speaker 2: Like, let's take the sexy out of this sit down
Speaker 2: with him and itemize the things, and maybe the things that.
Speaker 1: Are a bit much for you, like butt plugs, like
Speaker 1: something that's been in someone else's butt. I'm sorry, it's
Speaker 1: not coming in my butt. It is not coming in
Speaker 1: my butt. It's not come. It's non negotiable for me.
Speaker 1: But that's just me. So maybe itemize the list and
Speaker 1: the things that are a bit too much for you
Speaker 1: can go and you can replace them. And maybe the
Speaker 1: things like the whips and the handcuffs that aren't like
Speaker 1: necessarily going into a butt unless you're handcuff and the
Speaker 1: bowel in the butt, which no one's doing. Maybe you
Speaker 1: can do it that way so it's like just a
Speaker 1: few pieces, and you might have to contribute financially, Like
Speaker 1: if you're telling him to get rid of stuff, maybe
Speaker 1: you bring your own vibe brainer in.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you need to replace them one in, one out method.
Speaker 2: What do you reckon? There's a new website. This was
Speaker 2: trending a couple weeks back. There's a new website where
Speaker 2: you can actually buy secondhand sex toys. Yeah, which I
Speaker 2: think is wild in and of itself. Obviously they're well
Speaker 2: disinfected because some sect toys they're expensive to buy, and
Speaker 2: they are you know, they're like any other piece of equipment.
Speaker 2: We should all be sex liberal. Okay, feel I want
Speaker 2: to sit here and say that I have no issue
Speaker 2: with it, that I would be fine with using a
Speaker 2: secondhand sex toy, But it's only because I think I
Speaker 2: wouldn't have really thought about it. I don't think I
Speaker 2: would have looked at that sex straw and just seen
Speaker 2: a plethora of other women or men or whoever he
Speaker 2: is using it on. I would have just been like, hey,
Speaker 2: let's get down to kinkytown. If I had had the thought,
Speaker 2: oh my god, he's used with all the other women
Speaker 2: before me, it may make me get a bit of
Speaker 2: the egg and feel a bit insecure. But I'm sure,
Speaker 2: and I say this because I'm sure I've used sex
Speaker 2: toys with people in the past, and I don't think
Speaker 2: they were new.
Speaker 1: No pick got just off the bedside table, so it
Speaker 1: was there from the night before.
Speaker 3: Which also, how do you try, said he's clicked them all?
Speaker 2: You don't do? You go in and you give them
Speaker 2: a good scrub, a dub dub. I think you should
Speaker 2: one hundred percent, because some people don't.
Speaker 3: Some people just rinse them off and chuck them back
Speaker 3: under the bed.
Speaker 2: I reckon most people rinse them off. I don't reckon
Speaker 2: a lot of people put them in the dishwasher. And disinfect.
Speaker 1: No, and you know what the other thing is and
Speaker 1: it probably shouldn't matter. And I don't know which one
Speaker 1: I would prefer. Actually, has he just come out of
Speaker 1: a relationship with someone for ten years? Like, have these
Speaker 1: toys been with that one person for ten years and
Speaker 1: they have created all these different moments with a person?
Speaker 2: Or is it better if it was like one.
Speaker 3: Person is worse? Many people?
Speaker 2: Is fine? See, I don't know. Actually, yeah, yeah, I
Speaker 2: would rather him have no intimate and emotional attachment because
Speaker 2: he's used it with every person. Then just like this
Speaker 2: is specifically the toy that Sarah really liked, Let's use
Speaker 2: it and I.
Speaker 1: Know she liked it like this, and when I do
Speaker 1: it like this, and when I lift it here like
Speaker 1: that's definitely better.
Speaker 2: You'd probably rather a butt plug that it'll have been
Speaker 2: in twenty five bucks.
Speaker 3: But I'm with you, Britt.
Speaker 2: I think that you have to itemize and you go through,
Speaker 2: what are the tools that we can use that seem
Speaker 2: a bit more reusable than items that maybe are a
Speaker 2: bit more single person use. He's obviously kinky. Great, he's
Speaker 2: not going to care if you bring some new toys
Speaker 2: into the bedroom. He'll froth that he's gonna be like
Speaker 2: fuck yeah, and then just slowly wean the other ones out.
Speaker 3: And then you have a one in, one out sort
Speaker 3: of policy.
Speaker 2: It's what I mean, but one our of the vagina,
Speaker 2: one in the vagina another.
Speaker 3: Yeah, you always take it there.
Speaker 2: My partner and I have been together for almost seven years.
Speaker 2: We have a three year old and a one on
Speaker 2: the way as about say one year old on the
Speaker 2: way Nope, a newborn, and I don't feel secure in
Speaker 2: our relationship. The reason I say I don't feel secure
Speaker 2: has nothing to do with love or affection, or trust
Speaker 2: or loyalty. He's emotionally mature in that department, but when
Speaker 2: it comes to working, he is very, very complacent. In
Speaker 2: the past, he has taken literally weeks off work.
Speaker 3: For simply being a bit run down.
Speaker 2: And now he has his own business and he keeps
Speaker 2: taking time off work because he just keeps getting viruses.
Speaker 2: I've told him to wear a mask to protect his immunity,
Speaker 2: but he chooses to ignore me, and then we go
Speaker 2: onto the next virus and the cycle continues. I'm in
Speaker 2: the process of establishing my own business. However, my income
Speaker 2: isn't as great as his, and worries me as he
Speaker 2: is our main source of income. Mind you, I will
Speaker 2: be on maternity leave soon with our mortgage, and I
Speaker 2: just don't feel secure that my partner can do it alone.
Speaker 2: We're engaged to be married and I want to be
Speaker 2: proud of the man who I end up marrying, but
Speaker 2: at the moment, I feel embarrassed. I have tried to
Speaker 2: help him by seeking out some doctors in case there
Speaker 2: is an underlying issue, but he just doesn't seem like
Speaker 2: he's interested in helping himself. My question to you, is
Speaker 2: am I in the wrong to be having these ix
Speaker 2: and frustrations over something like this? In my mind, it
Speaker 2: is the foundation of our future, and it worries me
Speaker 2: that with his work ethic, we won't be able to
Speaker 2: achieve our goals in life to build or buy a house,
Speaker 2: or to travel. Dan da dut dunh. I think this
Speaker 2: is completely valid. I think this woman's feelings are completely warranted.
Speaker 2: That she's getting the egg.
Speaker 1: Yeah, that she's getting the egg, and that it's something
Speaker 1: that's playing on her mind. I would be shocked if
Speaker 1: there was anybody out there listening to this right now
Speaker 1: that doesn't think about money worries or money.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: This is a big maybe once a day. And the
Speaker 1: reason for that is we live in a really expensive
Speaker 1: world now. Inflation has gone up, people's salaries haven't gone up.
Speaker 1: Doing the bare minimum of life right now is way
Speaker 1: more expensive than it ever used to be. You've got kids,
Speaker 1: so you have other dependents. Now you've got more costs
Speaker 1: than people like myself that don't have children. I constantly
Speaker 1: think about money in the future.
Speaker 2: What am I going to do.
Speaker 1: I think of retirement now, not retiring early, but making
Speaker 1: sure I have enough when I'm sixty five or seventy.
Speaker 2: And that's because of the cost of living. It just
Speaker 2: sounds like he's lazy, to be honest, and I know
Speaker 2: this sounds mean, But if he has the ability to
Speaker 2: work full time and he's choosing to just do it
Speaker 2: a few days here and there, knowing that he has
Speaker 2: a family to support, to me, I'd probably get the
Speaker 2: ick to because a big part of building a relationship
Speaker 2: is contributing evenly.
Speaker 1: And like, you've got kids, you've got your own business.
Speaker 1: And he's saying I feel run down. We all feel rundown.
Speaker 3: Everyone life makes me feel burnt out.
Speaker 2: I think people feel ninety five percent run down and
Speaker 2: five percent they feel good. I think that that's the
Speaker 2: balance we live in life. At the moment. These feelings
Speaker 2: are completely warranted. I mean, is that a healthy balance?
Speaker 2: Absolutely not. Is it kind of how everybody feels? Sure
Speaker 2: it is. Just before I jump on the bandwagon and
Speaker 2: say like he's lazy and that it's all kind of
Speaker 2: make believe, I do think it's probably important to sit
Speaker 2: down with him and have a conversation about this recurrent
Speaker 2: illnesses because if he is recurrently getting sick and having
Speaker 2: viruses and being quote unquote very rundown to run down
Speaker 2: to actually do his job, that's a real conversation that
Speaker 2: you guys need to have. And I mean, what is
Speaker 2: he doing to try and get his health back in order?
Speaker 2: What tests is he going to have done? Is he
Speaker 2: getting his bloods checked? Has he gone to go and
Speaker 2: see the doctors that you've organized. I think if he's
Speaker 2: proactive and also concerned about the fact that he's unwell,
Speaker 2: then that's a very different situation. I think that you
Speaker 2: can have a little bit more empathy for your partner
Speaker 2: being back to back sick. Then if he's like, oh,
Speaker 2: I don't feel well, does nothing about it takes ample
Speaker 2: time off work and seems to just be really miss
Speaker 2: because it also leans into this idea of weaponized incompetence.
Speaker 2: You know, if you've got a partner who's like, oh,
Speaker 2: I've got the cold, I can't do anything, and then
Speaker 2: it also means that not just the income, but the
Speaker 2: housework falls on you, for taking care of the kids
Speaker 2: falls on you. It's a way of him getting out
Speaker 2: of responsibilities that he has that he doesn't have to
Speaker 2: do because he knows that you're going to pick up
Speaker 2: the slack because you're there.
Speaker 3: And the question is is what would he do if
Speaker 3: you weren't there.
Speaker 2: Would he go to work, would he have to do
Speaker 2: the things that you're feeling that gap for, or would
Speaker 2: he simply be so sick that he would be able
Speaker 2: to take this time off for me. I think he like,
Speaker 2: don't be so hard on yourself when you say, you know,
Speaker 2: am I in the wrong for having the ick? The
Speaker 2: itck comes because it's a reaction to somebody else's behavior.
Speaker 2: It's a reaction to what somebody else is doing. And
Speaker 2: I think in this instance, getting the ick is pretty
Speaker 2: understandable because I think having similar motivational drives as our
Speaker 2: partners is really important.
Speaker 3: It's something that some of us find really sexy.
Speaker 2: And if you're matched with somebody who has no drama,
Speaker 2: who has no ambition, that can be a massive turn
Speaker 2: off to somebody who is ambitious and sees their life
Speaker 2: in a certain place and has goals that they're working towards.
Speaker 1: I think financial security too, is even independently, not just
Speaker 1: in a relationship, but both. It's one of the things
Speaker 1: we strive for and probably put at the top of
Speaker 1: our list as individuals, because it is literally how we
Speaker 1: survive in this life. If you don't feel like you're
Speaker 1: financially secure, and you don't feel like you're moving together
Speaker 1: and working together for a future, it's going to become
Speaker 1: a really big problem in your relationship.
Speaker 2: Setting a budget and setting some sort of ideal goals
Speaker 2: that you can both work towards is helpful if you're
Speaker 2: both ambitious. It's helpful if you both want the same thing.
Speaker 2: It's very easy to say I want something but not
Speaker 2: have any of the drive or any of the motivation,
Speaker 2: or do any of the steps to get there, and.
Speaker 3: A lot of people do that.
Speaker 2: A lot of people say I want this in X
Speaker 2: amount of years, but they don't do the things that
Speaker 2: are required to get them to X, because the actual
Speaker 2: doing is way harder than the saying that I want something.
Speaker 2: And I think that they're the bigger conversations that you
Speaker 2: need to have. It's like, well, I know that we
Speaker 2: talk about this future that we want, but what are
Speaker 2: you proactively doing to get us there? And I feel
Speaker 2: like you're not being a participant. I feel like you're
Speaker 2: not stepping up to the plate. And at the moment,
Speaker 2: I think you're kind of taking the cruisy, easy road
Speaker 2: and this is not going to equal to what we
Speaker 2: are saying that we combined want for our lives.
Speaker 1: I probably personally would not be getting married until I
Speaker 1: had had this conversation and you will working towards the
Speaker 1: same future.
Speaker 2: And that I wasn't embarrassed by my partner. The embarrassment's
Speaker 2: a really big thing. I that to me is such
Speaker 2: a huge factor, Like it's a huge statement saying that
Speaker 2: you want to be married to someone who you're proud of,
Speaker 2: not someone who embarrasses you. I mean, that's so damning
Speaker 2: in and of itself. Also, it's so this is not
Speaker 2: a criticism of you, but it's so belittling of him.
Speaker 2: Like to be in a relationship where your partner's embarrassed
Speaker 2: of you is truly humiliating. And if that's the place
Speaker 2: that you've gotten to in your relationship because of his
Speaker 2: lack of drive, his lack of ambition, his lack of effort,
Speaker 2: I think that there's some really massive things you have
Speaker 2: to unpack.
Speaker 1: Finances are one of the biggest issues in a relationship.
Speaker 1: It's one of the biggest reasons, like the second reason
Speaker 1: that people.
Speaker 3: Divorce fidelity number one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, so what I just want to say that what
Speaker 1: you're feeling is valid, but you one hundred percent needs
Speaker 1: to go and have these conversations before you go and
Speaker 1: get married. I think that's what I would be doing
Speaker 1: because you feel very strongly about it, and I think
Speaker 1: it's okay.
Speaker 2: I agree, all right?
Speaker 3: Question number two, And he sounds like a lazy fucker.
Speaker 1: I asked my boyfriend to block his ex girlfriend on Instagram.
Speaker 1: This is a boundary of mine. I'm not sure if
Speaker 1: this is a healthy boundary or not. And I've just
Speaker 1: found out that he's gone out of his way to
Speaker 1: unblock her. Am I in the wrong for having asked?
Speaker 1: Or is he in the wrong for blatantly disrespecting my boundary.
Speaker 2: I loved this question, especially because I don't know. This
Speaker 2: is why I loved it because you guys all got
Speaker 2: spicy on the Instagram when we put up our little
Speaker 2: boundary post the other day, and there was a lot,
Speaker 2: Like I was surprised by how much debate there was
Speaker 2: around what constitutes good and bad boundaries, and a lot
Speaker 2: of people were saying, well, Jonah Hill, he said he
Speaker 2: had boundaries and she didn't want to abide by them,
Speaker 2: so therefore, you know, he was just asking for what
Speaker 2: he wanted. I think this is great to unpack this
Speaker 2: because in my understanding of this one, and I know
Speaker 2: the other argument that was coming up was like, well,
Speaker 2: if this was reversed, if it was a female asking
Speaker 2: for those things, we would say, oh, it's so empowered.
Speaker 2: You know, yes, you're asking what you want, you know,
Speaker 2: get it, queen. But because it's a guy, we're shitting
Speaker 2: on him. I want to make it very clear, just
Speaker 2: going back to that conversation about Jonah Hill, it would
Speaker 2: be irrelevant what gender those sort of boundaries came from.
Speaker 2: And how do I feel about this one? Is it
Speaker 2: okay to ask your current boyfriend to block his ex
Speaker 2: girlfriend on Instagram and to remain no contact.
Speaker 3: The question I ask is why does he need to.
Speaker 2: Block his ex girlfriend? Is there a reason? Is there
Speaker 2: something that they've done? Is there some sort of insecurity
Speaker 2: that it creates in you? Is there a why to it?
Speaker 2: Because I think it is unfair to simply expect your
Speaker 2: part to erase their past relationships and to completely remove
Speaker 2: someone from their life in all capacity if they've done
Speaker 2: absolutely nothing that's disrespectful and they have a platonic or
Speaker 2: mutually fine relationship with them, I think it's quite insecure
Speaker 2: and it's quite controlling to say you have to block them,
Speaker 2: that's my boundary, never speak to them again. My question
Speaker 2: would be why do you feel so strongly about it?
Speaker 2: I think that's a good thing to unpack before you
Speaker 2: simply give your partner's rules about how they should and
Speaker 2: shouldn't interact with their exes. The second part of this,
Speaker 2: I think is probably where it gets a bit problematic,
Speaker 2: is the fact that he agreed to it to your face,
Speaker 2: but then unblocked behind your back. And I think it's
Speaker 2: almost like he was doing it to keep the peace,
Speaker 2: but he obviously doesn't want to completely block his X
Speaker 2: and doesn't want to remove his X from his life entirely.
Speaker 2: And I think that the issue there comes with saying
Speaker 2: one thing and doing another. But I personally think the
Speaker 2: biggest part of this, the biggest issue is saying you
Speaker 2: have to do this, and that's my boundary.
Speaker 1: You can't answer this question without knowing the why. The
Speaker 1: whole question depends on the why. The relationship he has
Speaker 1: with the ex girlfriend one hundred percent. It's almost impossible
Speaker 1: to answer without knowing her. Well, let's just imagine that nothing.
Speaker 1: There is no reason why, Like he has not done
Speaker 1: anything with his ex. He has a completely platonic relationship
Speaker 1: with his ex.
Speaker 2: Yeah, then you cannot ask your partner to block an
Speaker 2: X for zero reason.
Speaker 1: Unfollowing maybe is one thing. Muting them maybe is one thing.
Speaker 1: I would think they're not completely finished. And when I
Speaker 1: say this, I'm saying maybe emotionally, maybe they just think
Speaker 1: of each other. If he's gone out of his way
Speaker 1: to unblock her, I would be asking him why he's
Speaker 1: gone to unblock her. Do they still keep communication? Are
Speaker 1: they still catching up as friends? Are they one of
Speaker 1: those really weird exes that you know checking on each
Speaker 1: other sometimes? Were they together for fifteen years and have
Speaker 1: a kid, like there are so many variables in this conversation.
Speaker 1: But if they just dated for a year and then
Speaker 1: they split up and he's moved on, you can't go
Speaker 1: and ask your ex to block them. You can have
Speaker 1: a conversation and say, look, it makes me feel uncomfortable
Speaker 1: knowing that she pops up on your feed. And I
Speaker 1: think it's really important the way you have that conversation,
Speaker 1: the way you explain it to him, If you tell
Speaker 1: him how it makes you feel and why, and then
Speaker 1: he still doesn't respect that, I think there's a bigger
Speaker 1: issue there. But I reckon he's I think he's like
Speaker 1: rebelling against the fact that you've come in and said,
Speaker 1: do this. Fucking block her, now do this. He's obviously
Speaker 1: done it to keep the piece in that moment, but
Speaker 1: I think he's rebelling. He probably feels like you're trying
Speaker 1: to exert some level of control. And I think the
Speaker 1: key issue here is he probably doesn't understand why you're
Speaker 1: trying to exert that control.
Speaker 2: It's a weird one, isn't it, Because on one hand, you think, well,
Speaker 2: if there's nothing going on, if you have absolutely no relationship,
Speaker 2: if you don't care about your ex, why can't you
Speaker 2: just block them? I understand why people can have that
Speaker 2: sort of thought, Well, if it means nothing to you,
Speaker 2: then just block them, and then when someone says no,
Speaker 2: you're like, well, obviously it means something more to you.
Speaker 2: But I think for some people blocking seems like it's
Speaker 2: an insignificant thing, right, you know, we talk about it
Speaker 2: letter they blocked her. It's pretty brutal, but it actually,
Speaker 2: you know, the way that we interact on a digital
Speaker 2: platform is now also the way that we act in
Speaker 2: real life. You know, it's a real in terms of like,
Speaker 2: it doesn't not mean anything. It's a real life statement,
Speaker 2: just done on a digital platform. And I think if
Speaker 2: they have an amicable relationship, if they're friendly but there's
Speaker 2: nothing going on, if there's no issue, doing a hard
Speaker 2: block with zero explanation actually creates an issue. It creates
Speaker 2: a bigger problem that she's going to then contact him
Speaker 2: and be like, hey, why did you block me? He's
Speaker 2: going to have to say, oh, well, my girlfriend told
Speaker 2: me I had to block you. It makes you sound crazy.
Speaker 2: I just think there's quite a few levels of this
Speaker 2: that if he's not in the wrong, if your partner
Speaker 2: hasn't done anything that has made you feel a certain
Speaker 2: way about their fidelity in your relationship. Making them block
Speaker 2: someone because of your own insecurities that are not based
Speaker 2: in anything actually makes you seem crazy and it makes
Speaker 2: your boundaries seem unreasonable totally. And I've made well, I
Speaker 2: haven't made. I have asked, and it has happened in
Speaker 2: the past. I have asked an X to blocks. Oh yeah,
Speaker 2: But the reason.
Speaker 3: Of that was details.
Speaker 2: I actually wouldn't say it because she's a psycho.
Speaker 1: The reason for that was she was crazy and she
Speaker 1: was harassing him constantly. Then she started to harass me
Speaker 1: and was a really big thing. And we tried to
Speaker 1: navigate it without doing anything, like just to write and say,
Speaker 1: you know, like I've moved on and I'm happy.
Speaker 2: Kind of a thing. And it just didn't work. So
Speaker 2: I was like, like fucking block her, just like cut
Speaker 2: her out. But even that, it makes me think, like
Speaker 2: every time I hear someone say like she was crazy,
Speaker 2: my instant thought is, well, what did he do to
Speaker 2: make her be crazy? Just no, I saw it. She
Speaker 2: was crazy. She was crazy.
Speaker 3: Okay, there's usually a reason behind people's crazy.
Speaker 1: It is a pretty savage thing like, if you've ever
Speaker 1: been blocked by someone on social media, it's pretty savage,
Speaker 1: like you feel pretty.
Speaker 2: Feel pretty shit.
Speaker 1: You're like, what the fuck, because what it's saying is
Speaker 1: I don't want one aspect of your life either to
Speaker 1: cross into my life. I don't want to see you,
Speaker 1: hear you, smell you, whatever it is. They just don't
Speaker 1: want to any party in their life. It's a pretty
Speaker 1: big slap in the face.
Speaker 2: So I would just be finding out why you want
Speaker 2: to make him do that and why he doesn't want
Speaker 2: to do it.
Speaker 3: Have you ever had an ex boyfriend block you?
Speaker 1: Keisha's nodding, Yes, I don't think I have, But all
Speaker 1: my breakup Keisha's that heaps.
Speaker 2: Everyone blocks the relationship. The more likely it is that
Speaker 2: that block you.
Speaker 1: I have not had anyone block me that I know of.
Speaker 1: But you know what, I probably don't know because I'm
Speaker 1: really really good at drawing a line. So when I
Speaker 1: go through a breakup or end something, I'm not one
Speaker 1: of those people, and I've spoken about on the podcast.
Speaker 1: I don't go back and constantly look at their profiles.
Speaker 1: I never do that because it's not good for me.
Speaker 1: So I probably wouldn't know if they've blocked me because
Speaker 1: I don't go to their page to see I'm not opposite.
Speaker 1: I fucking love a sticky stalk it. I don't stalk
Speaker 1: im stalking.
Speaker 2: When you're twelve your ex boyfriend, You're like, what's he
Speaker 2: doing now?
Speaker 3: I do I love a sticky beak.
Speaker 4: I'm not.
Speaker 3: There's no romantic interest.
Speaker 2: There's not even one iodor of like, you know, the
Speaker 2: longing or the thinking of what could have been. I'm
Speaker 2: just purely interested. I'm so interested that this man who
Speaker 2: was inside me for a fucking X amount of years
Speaker 2: now has a whole different life, and I just go,
Speaker 2: I wonder what he's doing now. And then I'm like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, he's had kids. That's crazy. And I
Speaker 2: love a little sticky beek. No, that could not care less.
Speaker 2: I'm blocked by one x. That's it blocked hard.
Speaker 1: Was that the one who you typed his new girlfriend
Speaker 1: into your Facebook stat or something?
Speaker 2: Because that's fair. Do love a fucking stalk, love a little,
Speaker 2: love a little check in anyway, guys, manage it from
Speaker 2: us today. If you've loved the episode, jump on go
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