Speaker 1: Pad, Flex and Frooms.
Speaker 2: Flex and Frooms.
Speaker 1: This is the Flex and Frooms catch up podcast.
Speaker 3: Sweety Pike's on today's show, We Must Discuss for Me
Speaker 3: has the ultimate list of scary movies. It's not just
Speaker 3: someone's opinion that they've been calculated by heart rate.
Speaker 1: It's very interesting. You'll enjoy it. Ladies and gentlemen. It's
Speaker 1: time for Flexi's Big Question of the Week.
Speaker 3: It's the segment where I ask you a question to
Speaker 3: get you to think more deeply about what you think,
Speaker 3: why you think it, and who is influencing the way
Speaker 3: that you think people. For the last few weeks, we've
Speaker 3: been talking about misconceptions and stereotypes. How are you being
Speaker 3: misconcept misconceived, misconceptualized?
Speaker 2: What is that?
Speaker 3: How are you being perceived incorrectly by the people around you?
Speaker 3: But also how might you use that to your advantage?
Speaker 3: That's or about flipper transmuter. We can't be suffering every
Speaker 3: day for the question this week, it's going.
Speaker 1: To be a hard one.
Speaker 3: Oh oh, I don't know my own answer, but I
Speaker 3: think that it'll be juicy anyway.
Speaker 1: What is the last thing you changed your mind on? Right?
Speaker 2: My eyes are darting around the room.
Speaker 3: I feel like I'm constantly taking a new information changing
Speaker 3: my mind. But the reason that I'm asking is because
Speaker 3: I think a lot of people, myself included, can feel
Speaker 3: quite validated holding strong opinions that are steadfast and never changing,
Speaker 3: because it makes you look like you are consistent and
Speaker 3: reliable and what you see is what you get.
Speaker 1: But I think it's very wise to.
Speaker 3: Be able to say, oh, I got some new information
Speaker 3: and I changed my mind and now I see things differently.
Speaker 3: One thing that comes up is a friend of mine
Speaker 3: was talking recently about how she used to be quite
Speaker 3: a like a people pleaser, like that was her approach
Speaker 3: to life, and she has never seen it as being manipulative,
Speaker 3: but she often talks about feeling taking advantage of by
Speaker 3: her peers, and she feels like she does everything for
Speaker 3: her people and no one does anything else for her.
Speaker 3: And recently she was listening to the show about the
Speaker 3: New York Times advice article that we talked about. It
Speaker 3: was a similar story of this guy feeling as though
Speaker 3: like he does too much for his friends, he cares
Speaker 3: too much, And our kind of response was, have you
Speaker 3: put yourself in this position where you were giving with
Speaker 3: the intention to receive something in return. It's not coming,
Speaker 3: and now you feel silly forgiving so freely. And so
Speaker 3: she read that piece and was like whoa. Yeah, she's like,
Speaker 3: I have this fear of being left behind, like the
Speaker 3: odd one out in the group, like the one that
Speaker 3: people won't realize is missing, or they won't realize when
Speaker 3: I'm not talking, they won't realize when I'm not okay,
Speaker 3: And so I make myself available. She's liked, but people
Speaker 3: don't really ask you to do anything. So like I
Speaker 3: give myself to people like offer constantly. I'm always there.
Speaker 3: I anticipate what they need, so they feel indebted to me.
Speaker 3: So they feel like I could never give up on her,
Speaker 3: Like she's so amazing. She does X, Y and Z
Speaker 3: for me. So I was like, that's big, the big
Speaker 3: thing to change your mind on.
Speaker 1: Scary it is.
Speaker 3: I think I'm changing my mind on the value of meditating.
Speaker 3: Oh my gosh, oh my word.
Speaker 2: I feel like this, this is always bound to happen
Speaker 2: at some point, is it not.
Speaker 3: Yeah, it's because I was getting mixed signals about what
Speaker 3: meditating is like fundamentally, is it having no thoughts? Is
Speaker 3: it clearing your brain? Is it finding a way to
Speaker 3: be peaceful. But I was I've explained to you before
Speaker 3: for me that I don't think my mind is a
Speaker 3: very busy place, Like if I am not talking, I
Speaker 3: don't feel like I have an internal monologue that's like
Speaker 3: confusing me.
Speaker 1: Or like it's all over the place.
Speaker 3: But then I thought to myself, why is it that
Speaker 3: every time I go to sleep, I'm having all of
Speaker 3: these thoughts. They're all just like coming up, And I'm like, oh,
Speaker 3: I'm so creative, I'm so witty.
Speaker 1: It's like, no, baby, Like you.
Speaker 3: Distract yourself all day with stuff, like you watch a
Speaker 3: lot of stuff, you consume a lot of stuff, but
Speaker 3: give yourself time to like decompress.
Speaker 1: And so I've started.
Speaker 3: Meditating again people before bed. No, I'm trying not to
Speaker 3: do that because then I just end up sleeping. But
Speaker 3: this idea of like giving yourself time to number one,
Speaker 3: not not have thoughts, But what thoughts keep coming up
Speaker 3: when you don't cloud your mind with other stuff?
Speaker 2: I feel like I changed my mind all the time.
Speaker 2: I guess I don't want to give anyone reason to
Speaker 2: doubt me. But maybe to the point where like I
Speaker 2: don't really have necessary I can't think of a single
Speaker 2: opinion that I've had my whole life that I'm steadfast on.
Speaker 2: I Well, the one thing I think which could be
Speaker 2: subject to change is that that's a good thing. I
Speaker 2: think that I'm open to other opinions about stuff.
Speaker 1: But what's your foundation?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I wonder if I don't have that? Oh, genuinely,
Speaker 2: I think that's where I've I've been thinking about a
Speaker 2: lot with the book Something to get to the bottom of.
Speaker 1: I love that.
Speaker 2: I don't think everyone has it. I think I said
Speaker 2: there might be some people like me.
Speaker 1: I think there are plenty of people like you.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: As always, if you have an answer to Flexi's big question,
Speaker 3: which is what's the last thing you changed your mind on?
Speaker 3: Go to our instagram right now. It's Flex and Rooms.
Speaker 3: There'll be a question box on our Instagram's and that
Speaker 3: so we can put your answers, and then coming up
Speaker 3: on Thursday this week will share a lot of your
Speaker 3: answers as we do. It's always so much fun. New
Speaker 3: people are insightful, so insane. No man, that too, but
Speaker 3: I like it.
Speaker 2: I'm an absolute slut for a scary movie.
Speaker 1: Tell me why.
Speaker 2: I'm very excited to see a ranking of the top
Speaker 2: ten scariest movies of all time. And this is not
Speaker 2: just going off vibes, it's going off a scientific bit
Speaker 2: of a rubric. A rubric. They're calculating this off the
Speaker 2: average heart rate of the person watching, also the average
Speaker 2: heart rate of them watching during the movie. That's the comparison,
Speaker 2: the overall difference, and from that they have produced a
Speaker 2: list of ten movies. Do you have any suggestions of
Speaker 2: what could be on there?
Speaker 1: Saw no Doctor, I want the Blair Witch Project.
Speaker 2: No, but I agree.
Speaker 3: Maybe that's just entry level spooks. So if you're a
Speaker 3: real high buff, you've probably seen crazy stuff. What about
Speaker 3: the Ring or something horrible movie? What about the strangers? Oh,
Speaker 3: there's twenty twelve movie horrible. These people with the sacks
Speaker 3: on their head, they just appear in the house.
Speaker 1: There's someone out there.
Speaker 2: I was even scared by a scary movie, The Funny Movie,
Speaker 2: you know, the trilogy, The Funny Way with Anna Anna Faris.
Speaker 2: Let me read you out some of these movies and
Speaker 2: you tell me, playing a long home if you have
Speaker 2: watched any of them. If you are a spooky movie
Speaker 2: a ficionado. Number one, sinister No, I see some Sinusa
Speaker 2: things happening every day my heart reads copping off our
Speaker 2: number two host no Skin Skinner RN Insidious. Yeah, I've
Speaker 2: heard of that. I haven't watched it. The Conjuring, Yeah,
Speaker 2: I've heard that's horrible. Have you watched it?
Speaker 1: Yeah? I don't really. I don't retain movies. I consume okay.
Speaker 2: Correct hereditary Yeah yeah, smile with our friend Kaylen Stacy Caitlyn.
Speaker 2: I watched that the other day in bed with my mum.
Speaker 2: Tell me why she's going. She's genially go oh, and
Speaker 2: she doesn't get scared. And I say, they got you,
Speaker 2: didn't you? And she's like, I'm scared. And then I
Speaker 2: start the fabric of time starts ripping apart, thinking that
Speaker 2: my mum was ever scared the exorsm of Emily Rose
Speaker 2: honestly leave Emily out of it. Hell House, LLC talk
Speaker 2: to me. Australian and the Descent. I agree we need
Speaker 2: to add Blair Witch Project. The Strangers saw American Horror
Speaker 2: Story in some parts. The opening scene of American Horror Story,
Speaker 2: that theme song chills down my spine. I also think
Speaker 2: Black Mirror that spooky, as I guess not for the
Speaker 2: heart rate. Though my heart rate I'm developing.
Speaker 1: Maya carditis.
Speaker 2: To say I'm developing. This is a low mood after
Speaker 2: watching Black Mirror.
Speaker 1: Are you know?
Speaker 2: I cannot deal with that?
Speaker 1: Anyway?
Speaker 2: You can go find this list on the internet by
Speaker 2: suit watching scary movies twenty twelve top ten heart rate.
Speaker 1: I don't know twenty twelve. Oh that was a bit.
Speaker 1: I understand you're with flexing frings.
Speaker 3: Ok.
Speaker 2: Also the babaduk horrible stuff.
Speaker 1: Am I am I the asshole?
Speaker 2: We have another moral issue to discuss with our friends
Speaker 2: here on the show. We all, well most of us,
Speaker 2: will find ourselves at a dinner with friends, a lunch,
Speaker 2: or another situation where there is a bill that involves
Speaker 2: all of us and there's often one person paying, or
Speaker 2: we're splitting right, and we're not all getting the carbonara
Speaker 2: at the past place in NEWTOWNA right, there's like some
Speaker 2: people with the garlic bread, others are gone with the
Speaker 2: pizza moment, and the bill will see that. Accordingly, we
Speaker 2: have a listener who's written in with something that's grinding
Speaker 2: their gears. Let me read it out to the audience,
Speaker 2: dearest free MINDI and flex Mammy Annie. There's a situation
Speaker 2: that's been grinding my gears and I need h elp help.
Speaker 2: I work a pretty decent job, I would say a
Speaker 2: pretty average salary for someone my age, nothing too crazy.
Speaker 2: But amongst my friends there's a perception that I am
Speaker 2: the rich one. I think this comes from working since
Speaker 2: I was in high school and always hustling and being
Speaker 2: a bit of a save in my whole life. I
Speaker 2: skip out on events and concerts or buying new things
Speaker 2: to save. I have always been frugal. It's getting frugal
Speaker 2: for me. A lot of my friends are just starting
Speaker 2: out in their careers and haven't climbed the latter as
Speaker 2: quickly as I have.
Speaker 1: Shape for dick.
Speaker 2: More recently, my close friends have been particularly bitter towards
Speaker 2: me when it comes to money. There's an expectation that
Speaker 2: I will front bills, digs at me to buy people's
Speaker 2: presents or shout people drinks. Often these friends won't pay
Speaker 2: me back for weeks at a time, but if they
Speaker 2: ever pay for a meal on the rare occasions, I
Speaker 2: have to pay them back immediately, down to the scent.
Speaker 2: For example, we've been out last week, my friend got
Speaker 2: a glass of wine. I've got to be we're at
Speaker 2: the same meal, and when the bill came even though
Speaker 2: I drinks had a difference of two dollars fifty. She
Speaker 2: sent three to four minutes calculating the exact difference between
Speaker 2: now meals instead of just splitting it down the middle.
Speaker 2: I know money is such a hard topic, but at
Speaker 2: twenty eight is this did I write this? Don't worry
Speaker 2: guys for twenty four I didn't think I would still
Speaker 2: be annoyed at my long term friends over money. I
Speaker 2: assumed at this stage in my life we would happily
Speaker 2: be shouting each other and be more generous to our finances,
Speaker 2: given I know they aren't struggling financially. I'm lost with this.
Speaker 2: You guys, please help. I have learnt how to be
Speaker 2: generous from people around me, but I will say the
Speaker 2: rules apply to different people. Ooh, I have friends with
Speaker 2: whoms we will split to the scent, I have other
Speaker 2: friends with whoms. One dinner, three hundred dollars we paid
Speaker 2: by one person, knowing that it will be repaid either
Speaker 2: monetarily or by something else in the future.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I wonder if everyone has this. They must. Yeah, like
Speaker 2: there are some people. I've noticed it also with my
Speaker 2: own family.
Speaker 1: Is the white people think.
Speaker 2: I'm gagged, consider me gagged more.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, No.
Speaker 3: I think just collective cultures versus individualistic cultures. What we
Speaker 3: learn about money and sharing it, whether we're generous or
Speaker 3: tight with it, it's coming from our parents generally, and
Speaker 3: our parents or parents of or the generation that our
Speaker 3: parents exist in haven't been informed by anything else but
Speaker 3: their cultural context. Right, we have the Internet, and we
Speaker 3: have we are culturally mingling and being multicultural and sharing
Speaker 3: our context with the world with other people and then
Speaker 3: merging them. But our parents don't necessarily have to do that.
Speaker 3: And like historically speaking on white cultures, more communal, more collective.
Speaker 3: But what were we saying about your parents or your family?
Speaker 2: My parents pretty generous, but they're like communicating with other families.
Speaker 2: Some families are the same, and then we will all
Speaker 2: meet with the same energy.
Speaker 1: So where the stingy gene come from? I'm a Victoria.
Speaker 2: No, It's funny, Like I feel like seeing my parents
Speaker 2: be really generous has kind of rubbed me the other
Speaker 2: way where I'm thinking, I hate seeing them getting taken
Speaker 2: advantage of it won't happen to me. I must hoard
Speaker 2: my wealth, got it. But then the more people I
Speaker 2: meet that are generous, You're generous. The more I learned
Speaker 2: that it's okay and that we'll come back. Yeah, But
Speaker 2: then also I think you can go too far. Let's
Speaker 2: operating on just culture.
Speaker 1: I always go too far.
Speaker 2: So how does that feel?
Speaker 3: I don't give with expectation, and I think that's the
Speaker 3: issue because like I just give to give, But then
Speaker 3: it creates a dynamic with a lot of people that
Speaker 3: there's an expectation of the giving, and then so I
Speaker 3: just feed into the expectation because I'm like, well, you know,
Speaker 3: I got it, and like some people, you know, I'm
Speaker 3: quite the rich friend, or like they don't have it
Speaker 3: or la la la la.
Speaker 1: And it's like, well, hold on a second.
Speaker 3: I'm not the reason why you work in the job
Speaker 3: that you work, or that you manage your money the
Speaker 3: way that you manage and I'm overcompensating with your relationship
Speaker 3: to money in mind, I'm like.
Speaker 1: That just feels like too much. So as you get
Speaker 1: to the point where.
Speaker 3: Like you're assuming this person won't have the money to
Speaker 3: go to dinner, but it's like why would they go
Speaker 3: to go to dinner if they don't have the money?
Speaker 1: They're good.
Speaker 3: I also understand the idea of splitting stuff to a sense,
Speaker 3: it makes sense. If I was going out to eat alone,
Speaker 3: I would pay for what I ate for, and now
Speaker 3: the tax of going out to eat with a friend,
Speaker 3: it's only that I'm paying for more or less. It
Speaker 3: actually doesn't make sense logically, like if we're going to
Speaker 3: critically think it down to the core of it. But
Speaker 3: also I think a lot of things about preserving relationships
Speaker 3: don't make sense logically. And you kind of fall into
Speaker 3: habits as well, And like you said, you have some
Speaker 3: groups of friends where you're able to maintain different habits
Speaker 3: and they change with other people. And I think your
Speaker 3: point of the flexibility is the point like it shouldn't
Speaker 3: be this cut and dry thing of you should and
Speaker 3: you shouldn't. But if you're having a feeling and it's
Speaker 3: grinding your gears, and then that's telling you that something
Speaker 3: needs to change with your dynamic in your friends, like
Speaker 3: you got to call it out because you.
Speaker 2: Know what I think is the funniest, just like an irony,
Speaker 2: is that when people are tied asses and you and
Speaker 2: you meet them with the same energy, they think you're
Speaker 2: a tight ass. Like you started. This takes one to
Speaker 2: know one You started this, I hate and then when
Speaker 2: you chase them for money, I'm like, I feel like
Speaker 2: I'm tired us I'm chasing. I'm like, no, no, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: I put my bloody credit card down. Not I payer
Speaker 2: it's far at all. Well, I shouldn't be doing extra
Speaker 2: lay by chasing it. Yeah, okay. I hate the feeling
Speaker 2: of having the balance hanging in their frugal for me.
Speaker 2: What can I say?
Speaker 1: No, it's a good trait.
Speaker 3: In case you needed more confirmation that the world is
Speaker 3: in fact getting spooky, I've got something for you.
Speaker 1: What do you think is the appropriate way to.
Speaker 3: Respond to someone saying that they've been cheated on or
Speaker 3: that they're heartbroken?
Speaker 2: Oh, condolences?
Speaker 3: Yeah, anything else?
Speaker 2: The person who is a dog? I stand with you. You
Speaker 2: got this, queen.
Speaker 3: I want to play you a little bit of this
Speaker 3: video that I saw from a creator called Dom Beauclaire,
Speaker 3: and they're talking about their recent heartbreak. I just want
Speaker 3: to get a glimpse of what they're saying, and so
Speaker 3: I can let you know what somebody has responded to.
Speaker 1: It's too much great.
Speaker 4: So yesterday I found out that my partner of seven
Speaker 4: years is in a full relationship with someone new after
Speaker 4: a month of separation, and a separation was to me
Speaker 4: to figure out what I needed, because he cheated on me,
Speaker 4: and he was an alcoholic, and there was a lot
Speaker 4: of stuff that he did in the last few years
Speaker 4: of our relationship that lost a lot of trust from me.
Speaker 3: So this person's painted a really beautiful but tragic picture
Speaker 3: of what they're currently going through. And I would imagine
Speaker 3: it takes a lot of bravery to come onto the
Speaker 3: Internet and express that to the world, because I think that,
Speaker 3: you know, part of you'd be anticipating some kind of
Speaker 3: blame in.
Speaker 1: The process, like what did you do wrong?
Speaker 3: But for the most part, I would say half the
Speaker 3: comments were very understanding of a situation, offering some kind
Speaker 3: of virtual support, virtual community, and then the top comment,
Speaker 3: oh no, and I quote unrelated, but I desperately want
Speaker 3: to shave the end of your eyebrows off.
Speaker 1: Your whole face will lift up.
Speaker 3: One more time. I a creator, am heartbroken. I've been
Speaker 3: cheer it on by my partner of seven years. I've
Speaker 3: come to the Internet for some I guess empathy, and
Speaker 3: you've said unrelated, but I desperately want to shave the
Speaker 3: end of your eyebrows off, it'll lift up your whole face.
Speaker 1: What kind of demon?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 3: These are the monsters that they were warning us about?
Speaker 3: How many years were we just like programmed with these
Speaker 3: fairy tales and monsters, good deeds and bad deeds.
Speaker 1: You are the monster.
Speaker 2: I think this is a public service. I think now
Speaker 2: that you're getting out there like you ought to know
Speaker 2: what everyone's thinking.
Speaker 3: But it was just let me pretend that this is
Speaker 3: a fine and fair thing to say. Let's make it related.
Speaker 3: You know, why do we make it underlated?
Speaker 1: Why don't we just.
Speaker 3: Say, hey, babe, I went through a similar breakup and
Speaker 3: the one thing that really helped me out was just like,
Speaker 3: you know, working on my physical appearance. I'm not sure
Speaker 3: that's something you're you're keen on, but you know, shave
Speaker 3: the taibl.
Speaker 1: You know what I'm saying.
Speaker 2: That's ten times worse.
Speaker 3: Ten times it's a little compliment sandwich. No, No, the
Speaker 3: unrelated is so brutal.
Speaker 1: That video was.
Speaker 3: Minutes long, minutes long, and I doubt she even bothered
Speaker 3: to watch the whole thing. She said before I swipe
Speaker 3: away from this. I have to get it off my chest.
Speaker 3: You all need group chats?
Speaker 1: Do you need professional help? And group chats. You've been
Speaker 1: listening to the Flex and Frooms Daily podcast.
Speaker 2: For more, Tune Indicator on DAB or stream it on iHeartRadio.