Speaker 1: Hi Heart podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist and listen
Speaker 1: live on the Free iHeart app A good pickup with
Speaker 1: Britt Hockley and Laura burn Bady.
Speaker 2: Your work, our windows done.
Speaker 3: That's my world.
Speaker 2: Reason the dust, only good tabs are all down.
Speaker 3: I don't much, but yet I'm not our big get
Speaker 3: and what I want it don't matter where goes.
Speaker 4: This is the pickup.
Speaker 1: Hi guys, it's the pickup with Britt Harkley and Laura
Speaker 1: Brn Britt, have you noticed how nice it is driving
Speaker 1: to work in the mornings.
Speaker 5: There's no traffic, yes, and no one parking near the school.
Speaker 2: We park up.
Speaker 1: Yeah, well we can get all day parking now because
Speaker 1: the school there's no parent traffic. But also for everyone,
Speaker 1: I hope you're all surviving school holidays. I had this
Speaker 1: realization only this morning, and that is that so growing
Speaker 1: up my mum she's a school teacher, right, and so
Speaker 1: every school holidays we were all just home together, family
Speaker 1: doing stuff. My realization is is that for most kids
Speaker 1: it's just not the case because if you have working parents, you.
Speaker 2: Gotta go to after school care or holiday.
Speaker 1: Care or whatever. And my six year old Marley, she's
Speaker 1: kind of cottoned onto it. This morning, she woke up
Speaker 1: and she.
Speaker 2: Was like, wait a second, it's meant to be school holidays.
Speaker 2: Why don't I even get a holiday? Why am I
Speaker 2: going to vacation care? And I realized just how rough
Speaker 2: it is for some kids. You're like, you spoil little
Speaker 2: I'm like, how dare you? M's gotta work.
Speaker 5: If my parents both worked, there are four of us.
Speaker 2: Where did you go?
Speaker 3: I think we just got like shipped out. I think
Speaker 3: we had to go to different friends' houses, nana's house. Yeah,
Speaker 3: because we didn't even really have a vacation care like
Speaker 3: we're at in Port Macquarry, and it was more like,
Speaker 3: I think sometimes went to an auntie's house, or we'd
Speaker 3: all go to a friend's house until my older brothers
Speaker 3: were old enough, and then they would stay home and
Speaker 3: look after.
Speaker 2: Yeah, this is true.
Speaker 1: It's changed now because kids can go to like a
Speaker 1: school holiday program, a soccer programer whatever. There's like so
Speaker 1: many different activities that did not exist in the eighties
Speaker 1: and the nineties.
Speaker 5: And was like ride your bikeer, but be home by
Speaker 5: so when the sun's setting, buck twice if you need her.
Speaker 5: And I was like, we just been for ourselves. I
Speaker 5: know we've been speaking a lot about weddings lately, but
Speaker 5: we are going to continue that now.
Speaker 2: No, you know.
Speaker 5: Bethany Frankel the Real Housewives of New York.
Speaker 2: Yes, yep, I do. Well.
Speaker 3: She's just come out and admitted to making like a
Speaker 3: huge faux pas around one of her friend's weddings, and
Speaker 3: it's got people talking.
Speaker 2: Have a listen.
Speaker 1: I was today years old when I realized for the
Speaker 1: first time that.
Speaker 2: I wore a wait to my best friend's wedding.
Speaker 1: I never knew that rule.
Speaker 2: So I texted her today. She's on safari in Africa.
Speaker 2: I'm sorry, I just realized for the first time I've
Speaker 2: heard that I wore a wait to wedding. She goes,
Speaker 2: I didn't care what you were wearing. I was just
Speaker 2: happy you were there. I'm so embarrassed. Okay, firstly, she's
Speaker 2: talking like a creep.
Speaker 1: Also, what I'm getting from this is that the wedding
Speaker 1: must have been a long time ago. There's no way
Speaker 1: that she's through life not knowing you can't wear white
Speaker 1: to a wedding.
Speaker 3: No, it was when she was twenty five, so it
Speaker 3: was a long time ago. But also at twenty five,
Speaker 3: I know that there are all these rules around what
Speaker 3: you can and can't wear to a wedding.
Speaker 5: Now, I don't know if I believe in all of.
Speaker 3: Them, but I feel like the one rule that everyone
Speaker 3: knows is like, you don't wear white to a wedding.
Speaker 3: But the reason she was even thinking about this, it
Speaker 3: was based off the back of the Jeff Bezos's recent wedding.
Speaker 5: You know how everyone in Hollywood just went to it.
Speaker 3: Well, Kylie Jenner apparently was wearing like an icy blue dress.
Speaker 3: Now I didn't realize this, but when you wear icy
Speaker 3: blue sometimes when it's photographed, it looks white. So there's
Speaker 3: a picture here it does look like Kylie Jenner is
Speaker 3: wearing a white dress.
Speaker 5: I do think it's something should do.
Speaker 1: Imagine Kylie Jenner coming to your wedding and wearing a
Speaker 1: very distinctly white dress.
Speaker 5: Like she looks so hot too, of all things.
Speaker 1: You could wear, I mean, I think that this is
Speaker 1: something that comes up a lot, Brittany, at your wedding.
Speaker 1: One of our very close friends, Keisha, she wore a
Speaker 1: baby pink dress and it wasn't until when the photos
Speaker 1: were getting taken on the day that she was like,
Speaker 1: oh my god, the photos make my dress look white
Speaker 1: like she was.
Speaker 2: She looked very white.
Speaker 1: I also went to a friend's wedding where the sister
Speaker 1: in law was wearing a sparkly silver dress which shot
Speaker 1: like a wedding dress. And so when the bride and
Speaker 1: the sister in law were dancing on the dance floor
Speaker 1: and the videos came out, literally every comment in the
Speaker 1: comment section was like, oh my god, that person wore
Speaker 1: a wedding dress.
Speaker 3: Well, now there's all this kickoff about like what not
Speaker 3: to wear to a wedding, and I want to read
Speaker 3: you a few of them.
Speaker 5: Number one, very obvious white or whitish colors.
Speaker 3: Like champagne, very pale, pale blues or pinks, because they
Speaker 3: can shoot white.
Speaker 2: Pastels just to avoid Hey, well, I don't know.
Speaker 3: I don't mind a pastel color, but it's not your
Speaker 3: fault if your dress shoots white when it's not. But
Speaker 3: I guess if it's so pale, like you read between
Speaker 3: the lines now, bridal party colors is number two. I
Speaker 3: don't think it's a big issue. If someone turns up
Speaker 3: in the same color that's me. Maybe I'm too laid back,
Speaker 3: they say that off you can tell from the color
Speaker 3: scheme of a wedding invitation, but I don't believe in that.
Speaker 3: A lot of wedding in whites are online. I did
Speaker 3: not put a wedding like a bridesmaid color on my invitation.
Speaker 1: And for reference, Britt, your bridesmaid color was yellow and
Speaker 1: produce a grace almost came in a butter yellow dress.
Speaker 2: Yeah so close. I'm so glad that you told me
Speaker 2: before the wedding that I actually.
Speaker 3: Went to my friend Eleanor's wedding Elena, she was on
Speaker 3: The Bachelor years ago.
Speaker 5: I don't know what made me do it.
Speaker 3: I had this beautiful green dress on that was very particular.
Speaker 3: I had pleats and it was my sister's bridesmaid's dress,
Speaker 3: and I was like, oh, I'll wear that again because
Speaker 3: I've never worn it.
Speaker 2: Isn't it like bright bright green? Yes it is.
Speaker 3: It's very specific green and I'd only ever worn it once.
Speaker 3: It's a beautiful dress, and I was like, I'll wear that.
Speaker 3: Last minute, I got changed because I thought it was
Speaker 3: a bit cold. Anyway, I turned up and they had
Speaker 3: the identical dress on. I would have been in the
Speaker 3: Bridesmaids show. I've done this though.
Speaker 1: No, look I mean in defensive people who have rocked
Speaker 1: up wearing a bridal party dress. The reason why is
Speaker 1: because a lot of brides, especially in Australia, they all
Speaker 1: use the same brand, because there's a couple of specific
Speaker 1: brands that make life the same dresses but in the
Speaker 1: same colors, like Shown a Joy for example. Anyone who's
Speaker 1: ever gotten married knows that bridesmaid dresses Shown a Joy
Speaker 1: got you covered. And I went to a wedding wearing
Speaker 1: Shown a Joy pinky colored dress, and so did the bridesmaids.
Speaker 2: Not my fault, Well the are the ones. Now.
Speaker 3: I don't know how I feel about this black. Some
Speaker 3: people are saying black sholdey just be a sign of morning.
Speaker 3: I had so many people in a black dress at
Speaker 3: my wedding. I gave my friend a dressed wedd a
Speaker 3: wedding this week there was black. Now this is the
Speaker 3: real kicker, and I feel personally attacked. I recently went
Speaker 3: to a red wedding, like a couple of weeks ago,
Speaker 3: and I wore bright red.
Speaker 5: Now I didn't know, but apparently.
Speaker 3: Bright red means you're either trying to upstage the bride
Speaker 3: or that you've slept with the groom. Like that's an
Speaker 3: old wives tale, and I actually feel mortified now because
Speaker 3: it was a European wedding, and I'm like, did I
Speaker 3: make a statement to the entire wedding that I have
Speaker 3: slept with a bride?
Speaker 2: You slept with the bride, I mean the groom?
Speaker 3: Okay, to be clear, To be clear, I didn't sleep
Speaker 3: with either of them, Like on the record.
Speaker 2: Do people care this much?
Speaker 5: That the real question I have?
Speaker 2: Don't you know that some people have strict dress codes.
Speaker 1: I know that some people are like, don't wear sequence
Speaker 1: and don't wear this, so long as you don't rock
Speaker 1: up to someone's wedding wearing a pair of jeans.
Speaker 2: I feel like ninety percent of this is stupid. It is,
Speaker 2: especially if it's your good friend or I don't.
Speaker 5: Know what it's not. It's just so dumb.
Speaker 3: It's like, I don't remember what people would to my wedding. Like,
Speaker 3: if there's fifty sixty eighty one hundred people at your wedding,
Speaker 3: the last thing that you were thinking about is look
Speaker 3: well for me is looking around at every guest and
Speaker 3: clocking and judging what they're wearing. I almost wouldn't be
Speaker 3: able to recall what half of you guys, and.
Speaker 1: You'd have you did have one rule on your wedding
Speaker 1: invite that was no patterns. And I saw an auntie
Speaker 1: or someone rock up in a dark blue and white
Speaker 1: patterned floral shirt and I.
Speaker 5: Was like, oh, that's your eyes. Some people didn't get
Speaker 5: the memo. The AUNTI is din't get the memo. That's okay.
Speaker 5: I let that one slide.
Speaker 2: Grit. I know I've talked about it a couple of
Speaker 2: times on this show.
Speaker 1: Now I probably should keep it to myself because look,
Speaker 1: it's personal, that's slightly embarrassing, but also maybe women should
Speaker 1: talk about it.
Speaker 2: And that is that my pelvic floor has.
Speaker 1: Been shot to well pieces, Yeah, it's been shot to pieces.
Speaker 2: It's left the chat here.
Speaker 1: And now I just if I surprise sneeze or surprise
Speaker 1: laugh or something kids me and I find I have
Speaker 1: a good.
Speaker 2: Gig, or just walk or I try and do a
Speaker 2: box jump.
Speaker 1: Let me tell you, I will wet my pants in
Speaker 1: a spectacular way.
Speaker 5: And is it getting worse throughout the pregnancy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, unfortunately, Like as this baby's getting bigger, so also
Speaker 1: is the accidents that I'm having in my pants.
Speaker 2: Laura, did I wish I could? I actually do not
Speaker 2: care at all to talk about.
Speaker 3: Like friends stealing thunder at your wedding and stuff. Laura
Speaker 3: stole my thunder in a different way. She like wet
Speaker 3: herself as I was about to walk down the aisle.
Speaker 1: I don't I don't know if there's anyone on this
Speaker 1: planet that would refer to that as stealing someone's thunder.
Speaker 1: If anything, I think they'd be deeply mortified.
Speaker 3: No, we had to put the ceremony on pause Becauselaura,
Speaker 3: we had to take room.
Speaker 2: But like, guys, stop the song.
Speaker 5: La was the ceremony.
Speaker 2: You'll be glad to hear that.
Speaker 1: After that, I actually I went to a GP, a
Speaker 1: new DP I've never seen before, because I was like,
Speaker 1: maybe I should start doing some keegels or something like,
Speaker 1: start doing some sort of exercises so that that's not
Speaker 1: an absolute train wreck. After I give birth to this kid,
Speaker 1: and I went in and it was a new doctor.
Speaker 1: And I don't know if you've ever experienced this yet,
Speaker 1: but usually I find, i'm thirty eight years old, that
Speaker 1: doctors are often older than me, you know, like I'm
Speaker 1: used to having like an old man who seems very wise,
Speaker 1: or an old female doctor who seems very wise. If anything,
Speaker 1: they are sometimes a similar age, but usually I would
Speaker 1: say most doctors I've been to see her in their
Speaker 1: forties or fifties.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 1: Anyway, this doctor I went in and saw I was
Speaker 1: quite young. I would add a guest say that she
Speaker 1: was a gen z. And I spoke to her about
Speaker 1: my pellet floor, which I'm sure she's never had to
Speaker 1: experience herself, which is absolutely fine.
Speaker 2: She seems very well researched in it.
Speaker 1: But what she did say about my uterus could have
Speaker 1: been taken as an offense.
Speaker 2: But truly it didn't even touch the sides.
Speaker 1: She said to me, as she was trying to describe
Speaker 1: what happens to your uterus when you've had your third
Speaker 1: kid and how like stretched out and floppy and stuff
Speaker 1: it is. She goes, you know what happens when you've
Speaker 1: had more than two kids. Think about your uterus as
Speaker 1: like a tent. It's got no poles, there's nothing to
Speaker 1: hold it up. And that's actually a good analogy.
Speaker 5: I mean, unfortunate for you.
Speaker 1: I know it's an unfortunate analogy, but very accurate. I
Speaker 1: sat there looking at her, and I was like, Wow,
Speaker 1: I think you're actually bang on, But you probably could have.
Speaker 2: Found a nice way of saying that to me.
Speaker 3: I mean, to be fair, I sort of don't mind
Speaker 3: it because I mean, I'm a visual person, so.
Speaker 5: Yeah, because that gives me exactly what I need. But
Speaker 5: it's so funny you say this.
Speaker 3: I was like stuck in a thread on Reddit or
Speaker 3: something the other day that was talking about gen Z
Speaker 3: doctors specifically. The crazy thing is gen Z doctors are
Speaker 3: like twenty eight. So when you said your doctors are
Speaker 3: usually older, that's because we're now older.
Speaker 2: They also, I want.
Speaker 1: This to be very clear, in no disrespect to any
Speaker 1: doctor who's a gen Z like, you've done the hours,
Speaker 1: you've done the study, you're well and truly qualified. You
Speaker 1: just have a different lingo and we're all here for it. Actually,
Speaker 1: we do have a grab from something that's going around
Speaker 1: at the moment.
Speaker 2: Have a little listen to this.
Speaker 4: So yesterday I had my first experience with a gen
Speaker 4: Z doctor, and if you have not had one yet,
Speaker 4: brace yourself. We went to urgent care because I've I
Speaker 4: fainted again. But the doctor comes in and she's like, yo, dog,
Speaker 4: you passed out four times in the past forty eight hours.
Speaker 5: You need to go to the emergency room. By ambulance.
Speaker 5: That is verbatim what the doctor said to me.
Speaker 2: Oh godually, I'm I'm all for this.
Speaker 5: Some of the thread was so funny.
Speaker 3: Someone said, I had a gen Z nurse tell me
Speaker 3: in ICU that, hey, your pancreas has left the chat,
Speaker 3: which basically means that the pancreas is dead. As a
Speaker 3: millennial nurse, getting gen Z residents come through my unit.
Speaker 5: Is always comical. One looked at a brain scan and said, bra,
Speaker 5: that's it, she goes, I knew it was bad.
Speaker 1: I'm pretty sure that that's what that woman said about
Speaker 1: my uterus as well.
Speaker 2: I left the building.
Speaker 5: This one.
Speaker 3: I told a gen Z doctor that my knee was locked.
Speaker 3: He said, hmm, I don't know what that's about, but
Speaker 3: it sounds like a red flag.
Speaker 5: That's pretty funny. Wow, I'm all about it.
Speaker 3: I think, Hey, whatever way you want to communicate, If
Speaker 3: you want to tell me that my organs are dying
Speaker 3: by leaving the chat, that's cool.
Speaker 1: Oh, I'm all for it. It just makes me feel old,
Speaker 1: that's pretty much it. That's all that I'm taking away
Speaker 1: from this. And you know what, would also indicate that
Speaker 1: the fact that I keep paying my pants and that.
Speaker 5: You forget your husband's birthday, and uh, we can write
Speaker 5: a little list.
Speaker 1: One thing that I was particularly bad at when I
Speaker 1: was in the throes of dating. Thank god I am
Speaker 1: now married and had to go on a reality TV
Speaker 1: show to find my husband, But that was the break
Speaker 1: up part. I feel like I hung on to dear
Speaker 1: life to all of my relationships. I've said this before,
Speaker 1: until I drove those things so far into the ground
Speaker 1: that they were dead.
Speaker 2: Yeah, they were so dead. They were lifeless and limp
Speaker 2: and sad.
Speaker 1: But I also like, really struggled with the breaking up
Speaker 1: part of a relationship.
Speaker 2: Doesn't matter if I.
Speaker 1: Was dating someone for two days or two years, Like
Speaker 1: I almost impossible, And I think it's because I'm quite
Speaker 1: conflict avoidant.
Speaker 3: Do you think it's easier to be on the receiving
Speaker 3: end of a breakup or the breaker up erer depends
Speaker 3: on how blindsided you are.
Speaker 1: I think there's no person that's ever gone through a
Speaker 1: really bad breakup that's going to sit here and say
Speaker 1: getting broken up with is way easier. But I think
Speaker 1: for some people there are personality types that find doing
Speaker 1: the breaking up incredibly Like I say, in a relationship
Speaker 1: for an entire.
Speaker 2: Year, knowing that it was over, but I could not
Speaker 2: bring myself to break up with him.
Speaker 1: But the reason I want to talk about this is
Speaker 1: because if you were in the early stages of dating
Speaker 1: and you're finding it particularly hard to do the breaking
Speaker 1: up with someone when someone doesn't seem right, I came
Speaker 1: across an article that has a full proof formula for
Speaker 1: how to break up with them. And as someone who
Speaker 1: did quite a bit of dating but also quite a
Speaker 1: bit of breaking hearts skill, for.
Speaker 3: What you were going to say, there's someone who are
Speaker 3: shopped around, someone has been prolific in the dating sphere
Speaker 3: for yeah.
Speaker 4: No.
Speaker 1: But I also think you, and in all the conversations
Speaker 1: we've had over the last six years about friendship, you
Speaker 1: have been really good at calling things off when it
Speaker 1: doesn't serve you.
Speaker 3: It gets easier tried and tested. It's one of those
Speaker 3: learned traits that you have to spend time doing.
Speaker 2: Okay, hear me out.
Speaker 1: I'm mean to run you through and you can tell
Speaker 1: me what pointer is, dismisses or you know what you
Speaker 1: would do differently. So this is your perfect breakup text.
Speaker 1: Write this down, guys, put this as your bible. If
Speaker 1: you're in the dating throwsk okay. Firstly, start with a
Speaker 1: hello in their name.
Speaker 2: Know nothing.
Speaker 5: Hi Frank.
Speaker 1: No no nice names like if you've called them babe
Speaker 1: or anything like that. None, None, that's going babe, you suck.
Speaker 2: Yeah, don't do that. Okay.
Speaker 1: Small gratitude like had a really nice night the other night, right,
Speaker 1: something that's like, you know, or thanks for picking that restaurant,
Speaker 1: I really enjoyed it.
Speaker 2: Something really simple to the point.
Speaker 1: Next one, get to the point kindly and as honestly
Speaker 1: as possible, which is very simply, something like had a
Speaker 1: really great time. I'm not feeling it with you, you know,
Speaker 1: I hope that you find what is that you're looking for.
Speaker 2: Maybe that's got too much. I don't even know.
Speaker 3: I could see you even getting off Lauria are getting
Speaker 3: uncomfortable reading them.
Speaker 1: Then it says end on a positive note, something like
Speaker 1: you know, I wish you all the best. I really
Speaker 1: enjoyed getting to know you, even though you're giving them
Speaker 1: a shit sandwich and telling them that you really didn't
Speaker 1: enjoy it that much. And then number five, the friend
Speaker 1: opt in. I think that this one is the important one.
Speaker 1: The friend opt in where you say, but we could
Speaker 1: still be friends. You only say it if you really
Speaker 1: mean it, Like, if you're actually going to pursue a friendship,
Speaker 1: then you can throw that line in.
Speaker 3: If you're sending these breakup texts like after one or
Speaker 3: two dates, don't throw the friend thing in.
Speaker 2: Just cut your losses, really.
Speaker 5: Unless you need a new best friend.
Speaker 1: Some people do collect friends though, some people that go
Speaker 1: on single like you know, one or two dates and
Speaker 1: then they collect a friendship.
Speaker 5: Tally. Yeah, we have a friend that does that. That's
Speaker 5: what we give her a hard dive all the time.
Speaker 1: Okay, but I want to give you three one liners
Speaker 1: and brit tell me what you think when you're actually
Speaker 1: going into like the breakup part of the text, I'm
Speaker 1: not feeling a deeper connection here.
Speaker 2: Blunt to the point.
Speaker 1: Another option, however, I don't see this progressing further between us,
Speaker 1: blunt also to the point.
Speaker 2: Third one.
Speaker 1: Unfortunately, I'm just not feeling a romantic connection between us.
Speaker 5: Have you heard of kiss?
Speaker 3: Like the analogies, don't kiss them with kiss? Keep it simple, stupid.
Speaker 3: You can use it in any aspect of life. Keep
Speaker 3: it simple, stupid a compliment. Sandwich, short and sweet. Hey,
Speaker 3: Frank had a really nice time at dinner last night.
Speaker 3: It was lovely to meet you. I just don't see
Speaker 3: it going anywhere. Unfortunately, I didn't feel the connection or
Speaker 3: I don't think we have what I'm looking for.
Speaker 5: I hope you have a great weekend. See you later.
Speaker 3: No friend, nothing compliment, sandwich, short and sweet, thank them
Speaker 3: for a nice time.
Speaker 5: It's not you, it's me. They're great, and.
Speaker 3: Then get the hell out of there. It's okay, and
Speaker 3: I think people get I got way.
Speaker 5: Better at it, like after the decade of doing it.
Speaker 3: It's really hard at the start, but once you realize
Speaker 3: that there are a billion people in the world like
Speaker 3: you going on a date with Frank that you met online,
Speaker 3: the odds are there.
Speaker 5: Is no connection, like your odds is more stacked against you.
Speaker 5: It's not personal. It's like two people didn't quite match.
Speaker 5: I think it's okay.
Speaker 3: And I think we take too much pressure on ourselves
Speaker 3: for like breaking someone's heart.
Speaker 5: He's gonna be fine.
Speaker 1: Okay For me, I was someone who was very guilty
Speaker 1: of doing the ghost not proud of it now, but
Speaker 1: I was a ghoster. I was just if it was
Speaker 1: one or two dates and I wasn't into it, I'd
Speaker 1: just go quiet. I don't think that that's the right
Speaker 1: way of handling it. And now that I'm older, more mature,
Speaker 1: and if I could go back and live my life again,
Speaker 1: I would do it differently. But tell me, do you
Speaker 1: think that after one date someone deserves a text message?
Speaker 2: Yes?
Speaker 1: And how many dates do you think you need to
Speaker 1: go on before it's not a text message anymore?
Speaker 2: It's a phone call.
Speaker 5: It can always be a text.
Speaker 2: No, unless you're married.
Speaker 3: No, I mean if you're exclusive, and it's more than
Speaker 3: like a couple of dates, but a couple of dates
Speaker 3: in it can be a text one hundred percent.
Speaker 1: Well, apparently according to this relationship expert, they said, no
Speaker 1: more than if five dates, if you've been on five dates,
Speaker 1: if that's a phone.
Speaker 2: Call, or you could just ghost.
Speaker 5: No, don't don't take Lawa's advice.
Speaker 2: Alright, guys, Well that is it from us.