WEBVTT - Majak Daw - Ordineroli Speaking 0:00:05.640 --> 0:00:09.800 Orderary speaking, I'm known as the first Sudanese footballer, but 0:00:10.000 --> 0:00:11.879 ultimately I'm a family man. 0:00:11.960 --> 0:00:12.920 Fathering a son. 0:00:21.000 --> 0:00:30.120 Takes time. Hello and welcome to this week's episode of 0:00:30.240 --> 0:00:34.239 Ordinarily Speaking. I'm narrowly Meadows. Majack daw has got a 0:00:34.320 --> 0:00:37.160 second chance at life, and he's using it to try 0:00:37.159 --> 0:00:41.159 and help others. The AFL player wants his little boy, Hendrix, 0:00:41.240 --> 0:00:44.320 to grow up in a world open to conversations around 0:00:44.320 --> 0:00:47.879 mental health. Born in Sedan, Madjack spent three years as 0:00:47.880 --> 0:00:51.800 a refugee in Egypt before relocating to Australia, where he 0:00:51.840 --> 0:00:55.880 became the first Sudanese born player in the AFL. In 0:00:55.960 --> 0:00:59.640 twenty fifteen, Madjack was found not guilty of three counts 0:00:59.640 --> 0:01:02.600 of rape, dating back to an allegation from two thousand 0:01:02.640 --> 0:01:05.800 and seven when he was sixteen years old. He now 0:01:05.880 --> 0:01:08.800 believes that court case led to a severe decline in 0:01:08.840 --> 0:01:13.280 his mental health. In December twenty eighteen, Majack attempted to 0:01:13.360 --> 0:01:16.560 take his own life in a moment of clarity. He 0:01:16.640 --> 0:01:20.760 immediately regretted the decision. As you listen to this episode, 0:01:20.800 --> 0:01:23.880 please know Lifeline can be reached on one three, double 0:01:23.920 --> 0:01:27.360 one one four. Beyond Blue dot org dot au is 0:01:27.400 --> 0:01:30.440 another place you can seek help. This is a story 0:01:30.520 --> 0:01:34.520 of a complex life told in Majack's own words. At 0:01:34.520 --> 0:01:49.640 the heart of it all, the importance of family shines through. Well. 0:01:49.680 --> 0:01:51.880 Thanks so much for agreeing to do this match. I 0:01:51.880 --> 0:01:55.080 really appreciate it. I wanted to start by asking you 0:01:55.120 --> 0:01:59.240 about your little boy, Hendrix. Biggest smile comes across your 0:01:59.240 --> 0:02:00.920 face at the moment I bring him up. What does 0:02:00.920 --> 0:02:01.600 he mean to you? 0:02:03.000 --> 0:02:07.680 I mean, I just I don't know, like coming from 0:02:07.840 --> 0:02:11.400 you know, one of nine kids, always always grown up 0:02:11.440 --> 0:02:15.440 with having little little children in my family, and then 0:02:16.919 --> 0:02:19.160 you know, when Hendrix came along, there was all these 0:02:19.160 --> 0:02:23.880 sorts of I guess, uh fears, probably. 0:02:23.560 --> 0:02:25.160 That's the right word. 0:02:25.200 --> 0:02:27.840 But as he's grown up, I've just I don't think 0:02:27.919 --> 0:02:32.280 i've I've ever loved anyone as much as as I 0:02:32.320 --> 0:02:36.720 love him. And yeah, he's just growing and just being 0:02:36.760 --> 0:02:40.360 able to teach him things as he gets older. Every 0:02:40.360 --> 0:02:42.200 time I see him, he runs over, it gives me 0:02:42.240 --> 0:02:46.160 a cuddle and you know, kiss his dad and like 0:02:46.600 --> 0:02:48.959 that's I never I never gave my dad a hug 0:02:49.000 --> 0:02:52.560 when I was growing up. So yeah, he means it 0:02:52.600 --> 0:02:53.840 well to me. Hendrix and. 0:02:55.720 --> 0:02:58.080 Why did you never hug your daughter? Just wasn't the 0:02:58.120 --> 0:02:59.399 way he did things. 0:02:59.240 --> 0:03:01.760 Or it's really not in the in my culture to 0:03:01.760 --> 0:03:05.840 show it, to show affection or anything like that. Even 0:03:06.080 --> 0:03:08.600 growing up, I just just never saw examples of it. 0:03:08.639 --> 0:03:12.040 But I mean, now I'll give my dad a hug 0:03:12.080 --> 0:03:14.800 and you know, he might feel it a bit awkward, 0:03:14.840 --> 0:03:20.120 but but yeah, just he's just so affectionate Hendrix, and 0:03:20.760 --> 0:03:24.120 he reminds he reminds me of myself a lot, and 0:03:24.120 --> 0:03:25.320 he's got so much love. 0:03:25.400 --> 0:03:29.160 And yeah, is the best thing about being dad the 0:03:29.160 --> 0:03:31.919 fact that you get to now make your dad jokes without. 0:03:34.760 --> 0:03:37.560 Yeah, I think it's I can probably get away with 0:03:37.600 --> 0:03:43.480 it now, and yeah, even though they're bad, but he's not, 0:03:43.560 --> 0:03:44.559 he's not ready. 0:03:44.280 --> 0:03:45.400 To hear them. 0:03:46.760 --> 0:03:49.000 Once you go to a dad joke around the footy club, 0:03:50.880 --> 0:03:51.360 I don't. 0:03:51.200 --> 0:03:54.560 Know put me on the spot there, but I think 0:03:54.680 --> 0:03:58.480 since since coming to Melbourne, a bit a bit of 0:03:58.520 --> 0:04:01.760 Alarican when I was at North and you enjoy going 0:04:01.760 --> 0:04:05.480 into the club and making the boys laugh. But as 0:04:05.520 --> 0:04:09.640 I've got one of the older boys at Melbourne, I've 0:04:09.640 --> 0:04:11.200 got an axles. 0:04:12.120 --> 0:04:16.000 Got to be granddad instead of dad jokes. You sort 0:04:16.000 --> 0:04:17.719 of mentioned it a little bit off the top. But 0:04:17.800 --> 0:04:21.080 when you look at Hendrix and you reflect on when 0:04:21.120 --> 0:04:25.039 you were a little boy and the relationship that you 0:04:25.080 --> 0:04:28.440 had with your parents, how do you feel about yourself 0:04:28.480 --> 0:04:29.800 looking back at that little boy. 0:04:30.800 --> 0:04:33.160 You know, I was pretty lucky in terms of, you know, 0:04:34.560 --> 0:04:36.760 what mom and dad were able to do for me 0:04:36.800 --> 0:04:39.920 and my siblings. And you know, looking back, I remember 0:04:40.279 --> 0:04:42.520 you'd go out and have days out. Dad would take 0:04:42.560 --> 0:04:46.400 me to a museum or you know, go to work 0:04:46.400 --> 0:04:50.240 with him on school holidays. So I did spend a 0:04:50.240 --> 0:04:53.480 lot of time with my dad. But now when I've 0:04:53.480 --> 0:04:56.800 got Hendrix, you know, it's sort of similar kind of thing. 0:04:56.839 --> 0:04:58.480 He just wants to do things. He wants to go 0:04:58.560 --> 0:05:04.760 out once, go footy, loves basketball. You know, I would 0:05:04.800 --> 0:05:07.680 sit there even days when we don't go outside. He 0:05:08.040 --> 0:05:11.480 is into Spider Man, loves Spider Man. So just been 0:05:11.480 --> 0:05:14.359 able to do things with him. I'm just really proud 0:05:14.400 --> 0:05:17.279 that someone like Hendricks is. Yeah, he's proud to call 0:05:17.320 --> 0:05:19.479 me his dad, and he relies on me to do 0:05:19.560 --> 0:05:21.839 everything for him. So I do I do really take 0:05:22.440 --> 0:05:24.920 take pride in that, and it just reminds me of 0:05:25.040 --> 0:05:27.159 what my parents were able to do to do for 0:05:27.240 --> 0:05:30.400 me when I was younger, and yeah, it's my turn 0:05:30.440 --> 0:05:32.560 now to sort of do that with my son. 0:05:32.680 --> 0:05:35.800 So what kind of advice would your parents give you 0:05:35.839 --> 0:05:36.640 when you're a kid. 0:05:38.040 --> 0:05:39.280 I was pretty naughty, so. 0:05:41.480 --> 0:05:43.279 I didn't quite you know. 0:05:43.360 --> 0:05:45.520 I hurt myself a lot when I was younger, so 0:05:46.520 --> 0:05:49.560 my poor mum, she was in tears a lot, and 0:05:49.680 --> 0:05:52.560 I just just had so much energy. So I kind 0:05:52.560 --> 0:05:57.200 of a little bit like Hendrix now. And yeah, yeah, 0:05:57.600 --> 0:06:01.359 but I guess it's probably taught me to just have 0:06:01.400 --> 0:06:05.200 a go at things within reason, no fear, and barely 0:06:05.720 --> 0:06:08.200 not back down. It's probably not the right word, but yeah, 0:06:08.240 --> 0:06:10.159 I love it. And people doubt me and then I 0:06:10.320 --> 0:06:13.359 prove them wrong. So that's what's kind of taught me 0:06:13.400 --> 0:06:13.880 a little bit. 0:06:14.320 --> 0:06:19.560 You've done that a few times. When you close your 0:06:19.560 --> 0:06:23.120 eyes and you think back to sit, doan what springs 0:06:23.120 --> 0:06:26.480 to mind for you? What sort of smells and senses 0:06:26.560 --> 0:06:27.440 and memories. 0:06:28.960 --> 0:06:31.880 I guess in the summer, it's really dry, very hot. 0:06:33.120 --> 0:06:35.920 You know where we lived, just outskirts of the city. 0:06:36.160 --> 0:06:37.760 You know that it would be so dry that the 0:06:37.800 --> 0:06:41.159 ground will crack. You know, those sorts of things you 0:06:41.200 --> 0:06:44.760 see in the at back and country. Victoria just very 0:06:44.839 --> 0:06:48.839 dry and the wet season it rained heavily to the 0:06:48.880 --> 0:06:51.880 point where there was an area in front of the 0:06:51.920 --> 0:06:54.960 house and turned it almost it would turn into a 0:06:54.960 --> 0:06:59.520 pond and it'd get all these birds and all these vegetation. 0:07:00.120 --> 0:07:03.120 I guess it's more family when I look back. Yeah, 0:07:03.640 --> 0:07:06.000 And that's when that's one of the biggest things I 0:07:06.080 --> 0:07:08.960 sort of missed out on because you know, I moved 0:07:08.960 --> 0:07:12.120 from Sedan to Egypt and now living here in Australia, 0:07:12.400 --> 0:07:16.360 just not growing up with my grandparents, my cousins, although 0:07:16.360 --> 0:07:19.080 I've got a big family, so it doesn't really seem 0:07:19.920 --> 0:07:22.280 seem seem that much of a bit of a difference. 0:07:22.320 --> 0:07:26.560 But those things that I could never missed out on. 0:07:26.720 --> 0:07:29.680 So I love when you talk about it, you sort 0:07:29.680 --> 0:07:31.680 of look ahead of you as though you can imagine 0:07:31.720 --> 0:07:35.160 that the pond of water in front, like you're back 0:07:35.200 --> 0:07:39.880 there when you're looking back. How unsafe was it for 0:07:39.960 --> 0:07:42.920 your family in Sadan growing up? 0:07:42.960 --> 0:07:47.000 I was, I was relatively safe, but I think as 0:07:47.000 --> 0:07:50.880 I got older started understanding, I guess the world around me, 0:07:50.960 --> 0:07:54.920 and I was unfolding at the time, the Civil war 0:07:55.000 --> 0:07:59.200 in Sedan between North and South, and you know, my 0:07:59.280 --> 0:08:02.400 dad was heavily in the church. You know, he was 0:08:02.440 --> 0:08:06.840 helping rescuing some of the kids who were becoming child soldiers, 0:08:06.880 --> 0:08:09.800 and I saw a bit of that, and I think 0:08:09.800 --> 0:08:12.679 in the book I do mention when he was arrested 0:08:12.680 --> 0:08:15.000 by the government in the middle of the night, and 0:08:17.120 --> 0:08:19.640 that's the reason why we left. In the end, it 0:08:19.760 --> 0:08:23.000 just wasn't safe for our family. But I think he 0:08:23.080 --> 0:08:27.480 spent around six months in prison, and I was shielded 0:08:27.480 --> 0:08:31.000 a lot from all was happening. But I think around 0:08:31.400 --> 0:08:34.559 seven or eight it's just started and I guess understanding 0:08:34.600 --> 0:08:35.120 more and. 0:08:36.720 --> 0:08:37.800 How unsafe it was. 0:08:37.840 --> 0:08:40.120 But we were really lucky to be able to escape 0:08:40.280 --> 0:08:42.960 down at that time, because as soon as we left, 0:08:43.200 --> 0:08:46.959 it just the country wasn't safe and a lot of 0:08:46.960 --> 0:08:49.640 people lost their lives and detained a lot of people 0:08:49.720 --> 0:08:53.360 put in prison for very very minor reasons. 0:08:53.360 --> 0:08:56.080 So what do you remember from that that night that 0:08:56.160 --> 0:08:58.640 your like, when did you realize that your dad had 0:08:58.679 --> 0:08:59.240 been taken? 0:09:00.360 --> 0:09:00.800 Yeah, I was. 0:09:01.400 --> 0:09:03.360 I was really close. I mean I was obsessed with 0:09:03.360 --> 0:09:05.560 my dad, and I was when I was young, and 0:09:06.320 --> 0:09:10.200 you know, I was comeld. I was maybe seven or so, 0:09:10.400 --> 0:09:13.080 and if I couldn't sleep some nights, i'd go and 0:09:13.080 --> 0:09:15.720 sleep with my dad, and you know, it just happened 0:09:15.720 --> 0:09:18.760 to me that night, and you know, there was a 0:09:18.800 --> 0:09:21.000 big knock on the door and they came barging in 0:09:21.040 --> 0:09:24.360 and soldiers with guns and took him in the back 0:09:24.360 --> 0:09:27.559 of the back of the car and just remember running 0:09:27.600 --> 0:09:32.240 after the car. And it's very clear that incident. And 0:09:32.720 --> 0:09:36.080 I never asked him, you know, as I was growing 0:09:36.160 --> 0:09:40.400 up about that about that incident or or never went 0:09:40.800 --> 0:09:44.400 into too much detailed with him, but my older brothers 0:09:44.440 --> 0:09:47.200 they filled me in with a fair bit. So and 0:09:47.240 --> 0:09:49.920 then when I was writing the book, I was I 0:09:49.960 --> 0:09:53.640 was finally able to, you know, ask him properly without 0:09:53.720 --> 0:09:59.720 feeling like I am not disrespecting him, but yeah, because 0:10:00.120 --> 0:10:02.680 it's not an easy conversation to have with you have 0:10:02.679 --> 0:10:05.320 with your parent, and you know, the things he told me. 0:10:05.440 --> 0:10:09.920 He was tortured in prison, had to walk around with 0:10:09.920 --> 0:10:15.160 the toothbrush and just he just he just didn't know 0:10:15.200 --> 0:10:17.800 whether he was going to come home that day, so 0:10:18.280 --> 0:10:20.679 they told him he could be detained anytime. So I 0:10:20.840 --> 0:10:23.320 just had to I just had to be really careful. 0:10:23.400 --> 0:10:27.120 So so you were literally laying next to him and 0:10:27.480 --> 0:10:30.880 they essentially ripped him from your arms. Is that. 0:10:31.360 --> 0:10:31.600 Yeah. 0:10:32.200 --> 0:10:34.120 Yeah, God, that's terrifying. 0:10:36.600 --> 0:10:40.079 Yeah, I mean, it's a it's one of those things, 0:10:40.080 --> 0:10:43.840 and I mean, growing up over the years, I found 0:10:43.840 --> 0:10:48.559 it hard to believe. But also it's also one of 0:10:48.600 --> 0:10:52.320 those parts of my life that have I found really 0:10:52.400 --> 0:10:57.800 hard to share with other people because of how really 0:10:58.000 --> 0:11:02.160 how real it is. You know, people would think it's 0:11:02.200 --> 0:11:05.520 something out of a movie. But I think that's why 0:11:06.120 --> 0:11:10.839 I really, being a father to Hendrix, I just want 0:11:10.880 --> 0:11:14.680 to you know, I just want to protect him as 0:11:14.800 --> 0:11:17.880 much as I can and never have to never have 0:11:17.920 --> 0:11:21.760 to go through anything like that with him or any kids. 0:11:21.800 --> 0:11:23.160 I haven't going forward, so. 0:11:25.840 --> 0:11:29.800 That, Yeah, how did how did it feel when you 0:11:30.000 --> 0:11:32.839 when you finally spoke to your dad about that? Because 0:11:33.320 --> 0:11:36.800 I imagine you're you carry something like that internally, you 0:11:36.880 --> 0:11:39.200 never talk about it and so it just sits there 0:11:39.559 --> 0:11:42.880 for years. How did it feel to have that conversation 0:11:43.040 --> 0:11:43.400 with him? 0:11:44.360 --> 0:11:46.800 It was a bit of a relief, just just to 0:11:46.880 --> 0:11:51.199 finally hear him speak about it. He was an uncomfortable 0:11:51.280 --> 0:11:55.600 or anything, And I guess, you know, that's why I 0:11:55.640 --> 0:11:59.560 look up to my parents. You know, he's throughout throughout 0:11:59.559 --> 0:12:02.160 all my life, you know, everything that they've done for us, 0:12:02.200 --> 0:12:06.840 and and to think, you know, there's some of the 0:12:06.960 --> 0:12:10.120 challenges he's been through and to do with the brave 0:12:10.200 --> 0:12:15.600 face raise nine kids travel across the world. Yeah, that's 0:12:16.200 --> 0:12:18.160 again I gain a lot of my strength. 0:12:19.320 --> 0:12:19.680 From that. 0:12:22.240 --> 0:12:23.760 Did you hug after that conversation? 0:12:25.080 --> 0:12:32.360 We shook hands? 0:12:32.400 --> 0:12:39.960 Oh goodness, that's quite funny. Actually you end up in Egypt. 0:12:41.120 --> 0:12:42.720 How many years were in Egypt? 0:12:42.760 --> 0:12:43.760 For three years? 0:12:43.800 --> 0:12:47.319 Three years? And so you were still a little tacker 0:12:47.520 --> 0:12:51.520 then around nine years of age, right, Yeah, How tough 0:12:51.679 --> 0:12:53.520 was that? You write? You write in the book, which 0:12:53.640 --> 0:12:57.400 the book is amazing by the way your voice really 0:12:57.400 --> 0:12:59.400 comes through in it, which I think is the most 0:12:59.440 --> 0:13:02.400 beautiful thing about it. Is it really you are telling 0:13:02.679 --> 0:13:07.000 your story and it's such a strong voice. The time 0:13:07.040 --> 0:13:09.440 in Egypt. How tough was that because you leave a 0:13:09.520 --> 0:13:12.640 place where you know you're inherently unsafe and you get 0:13:12.640 --> 0:13:17.040 to another place where you're made to feel ostracized and 0:13:17.120 --> 0:13:20.320 suffer quite significant racism as well. How challenging was that 0:13:20.360 --> 0:13:21.080 as a little kid? 0:13:21.240 --> 0:13:23.840 Yeah, Like, it was really tough because I mean those 0:13:25.040 --> 0:13:26.880 I think it was a period of six months where 0:13:26.880 --> 0:13:29.719 it was just my mom and now and my siblings, 0:13:30.200 --> 0:13:34.560 and I think just the living conditions, sharing sharing a 0:13:34.600 --> 0:13:39.160 house with three other families, just never felt comfortable at all, 0:13:40.480 --> 0:13:43.760 not at home, not in the street. The racism that 0:13:43.840 --> 0:13:46.120 we faced. There was just so much hate towards people 0:13:46.200 --> 0:13:48.679 like me at the time in Egypt, and there was 0:13:48.720 --> 0:13:51.520 always a constant reminder to the point where I tell 0:13:51.520 --> 0:13:54.959 my mom, yes, I know, because I guess for her 0:13:55.000 --> 0:13:57.680 to let us at the house or go to the shops. 0:13:58.880 --> 0:14:01.960 She was really scared. But although in saying that, I 0:14:02.040 --> 0:14:03.959 think there were some great people we met along the 0:14:04.000 --> 0:14:08.520 way in Egypt. But yeah, just the whole time, I 0:14:08.640 --> 0:14:13.600 just never never felt comfortable until my dad, until he 0:14:13.679 --> 0:14:16.560 came and he finally got a house. There was just 0:14:16.600 --> 0:14:19.480 a lot of unrest and just so much stress between 0:14:19.520 --> 0:14:23.800 the families. Yeah, until my dad came and we were 0:14:23.840 --> 0:14:26.440 finally able to just have a house not have to 0:14:26.480 --> 0:14:31.520 worry about, you know, sharing the living room with other people. 0:14:31.680 --> 0:14:35.520 And you know that it's funny looking back because you 0:14:35.680 --> 0:14:39.560 just slept wherever you could, you know, mattresses in the 0:14:39.600 --> 0:14:40.160 living room. 0:14:40.680 --> 0:14:43.000 So it's quite humbling. 0:14:43.120 --> 0:14:46.160 So you use the word hate before that it's such 0:14:46.200 --> 0:14:51.880 a strong word and to feel like there was hatred 0:14:52.120 --> 0:14:55.480 coming towards you when you're just nine years of age. God, 0:14:55.520 --> 0:14:56.360 how tough was that? 0:14:57.560 --> 0:15:00.400 Yeah, it was just it was just so hard to believe. 0:15:00.520 --> 0:15:02.720 I mean, and in this and nine year old, I'm 0:15:02.720 --> 0:15:05.840 not a threat to anyone. Yeah, like just you know, 0:15:05.920 --> 0:15:08.240 maybe my skin color or the way I look, I 0:15:08.280 --> 0:15:11.720 don't know, because I spoke Arabic. I mean I could 0:15:11.760 --> 0:15:16.520 do everything and anything that any nine year old could 0:15:16.520 --> 0:15:19.320 do an Egyptian kid, and. 0:15:19.240 --> 0:15:19.880 Just that hate. 0:15:19.920 --> 0:15:23.880 I mean, it's really tough. It's really hard to explain 0:15:24.040 --> 0:15:26.800 because it's almost to the point where they don't want 0:15:26.840 --> 0:15:30.240 you to exist. So but we had some fun in 0:15:30.320 --> 0:15:32.360 Egypt as well. I mean used to play soccer in 0:15:32.440 --> 0:15:36.680 the street and when Ramadan come around, you see the 0:15:36.680 --> 0:15:39.600 goodness and some people's heart. 0:15:40.520 --> 0:15:42.440 It was predominantly Muslim country. 0:15:42.560 --> 0:15:47.360 But yeah, so you get to Australia and unfortunately here 0:15:48.520 --> 0:15:52.160 there were still situations where we you copped that crap. 0:15:52.840 --> 0:15:56.640 For anyone who is listening who just doesn't get it, 0:15:56.840 --> 0:16:00.760 can you put into words how you feel or when 0:16:00.920 --> 0:16:04.040 when somebody says stuff or does stuff that makes you 0:16:04.120 --> 0:16:04.800 feel othered. 0:16:05.840 --> 0:16:09.560 Yeah, Like, I mean there are examples, I mean from school, 0:16:09.760 --> 0:16:14.400 even playing footy. It just sort of for some reason, 0:16:14.520 --> 0:16:16.840 I mean like now I'm older, I mean I can 0:16:16.880 --> 0:16:20.080 deal with it a bit better. You just you just 0:16:20.120 --> 0:16:22.640 feel like you're not good enough. And it's one of 0:16:22.680 --> 0:16:26.520 those things people will singly out about you, especially in 0:16:26.560 --> 0:16:29.040 footy when it when it did happen when I was playing, 0:16:29.240 --> 0:16:32.160 when I was playing footy, and you know, when I 0:16:32.160 --> 0:16:34.240 came here, did and speak a word of English, you know, 0:16:34.320 --> 0:16:38.880 finished school and all that stuff, playing AFL footy and 0:16:39.080 --> 0:16:43.920 still there's just there's just that reminder maybe you're not 0:16:43.960 --> 0:16:46.720 one of us, or you're not good enough, and you know, 0:16:46.800 --> 0:16:50.720 that feeling is is quite painful to deal with. 0:16:50.960 --> 0:16:53.440 What's really stuck out to me when I was reading 0:16:53.480 --> 0:16:58.240 your book was whether it was you know, in wart On, 0:16:58.320 --> 0:17:02.760 Sudan or Egypt or Australia, or you know, first at 0:17:02.800 --> 0:17:07.440 school or playing footy for the first time, all anyone 0:17:07.520 --> 0:17:11.520 really wants in life is to feel accepted, to feel safe, 0:17:11.880 --> 0:17:15.600 and to belong and that's anyone. Yeah, and all these 0:17:15.680 --> 0:17:19.440 times it was like you were getting the complete opposite 0:17:19.520 --> 0:17:23.000 of that. Does it take a toll on someone to 0:17:23.760 --> 0:17:25.240 keep on copying that? 0:17:26.200 --> 0:17:26.959 Yeah? It does. 0:17:27.119 --> 0:17:31.159 I mean it constantly have to remind yourself to be 0:17:31.200 --> 0:17:35.040 grateful for things, for me. I mean the things I've 0:17:35.080 --> 0:17:37.520 been able to do and achieve in life, and you know, 0:17:38.200 --> 0:17:40.400 I'm proud of some of them. I'm proud of I'm 0:17:40.400 --> 0:17:41.600 proud of them. 0:17:41.880 --> 0:17:42.480 But now. 0:17:43.960 --> 0:17:46.520 I'm really looking forward to seeing Hendrix growing up and 0:17:46.600 --> 0:17:53.359 you know, just and less opportunities and go to school uninterrupted. 0:17:54.000 --> 0:17:57.240 I want to play footy, go to UNI, do all 0:17:57.240 --> 0:18:00.320 these do all these things that I am that I 0:18:00.400 --> 0:18:01.080 missed out on. 0:18:01.280 --> 0:18:02.760 And I think, you know, coming. 0:18:02.480 --> 0:18:06.560 Back to your point where when there's when there's constant hardship, 0:18:07.280 --> 0:18:10.600 all these setbacks, the reality is, I mean it's for 0:18:10.680 --> 0:18:13.000 me deep down now, I know if I give up, 0:18:13.040 --> 0:18:16.040 then I miss out on all those opportunities to be 0:18:16.119 --> 0:18:17.919 able to try and achieve those things. You know, I 0:18:18.000 --> 0:18:22.160 might not get there, but you know, at least I 0:18:22.160 --> 0:18:23.040 I'll get closer. 0:18:24.240 --> 0:18:27.960 Yeah, at least you gave it a crack. What were 0:18:28.040 --> 0:18:30.960 your favorite things about coming here for the first time 0:18:31.040 --> 0:18:33.840 in Australia. What were the things that you talk about. 0:18:33.880 --> 0:18:37.639 You know that there's positives in amongst the hardships, you 0:18:37.680 --> 0:18:40.399 smile on your face. What were some of the things 0:18:40.400 --> 0:18:43.119 that you know, whether it's little little things as it, 0:18:43.440 --> 0:18:46.200 you know, youngster, that you weren't. That's awesome. 0:18:46.359 --> 0:18:49.919 I think it's just the freedom really put aside all 0:18:49.960 --> 0:18:50.840 the hardships that. 0:18:51.000 --> 0:18:51.680 We've been through. 0:18:51.720 --> 0:18:54.119 But I think living in the Egypt, it was just 0:18:54.160 --> 0:18:58.800 it was just apartment There was never spaces, having a 0:18:58.800 --> 0:19:03.320 big backyard, eating healthy food, things like that, and I 0:19:03.320 --> 0:19:05.959 don't know, even you know, Mum and Dad driving us 0:19:05.960 --> 0:19:09.040 around in the car. There was just there's just so 0:19:09.119 --> 0:19:12.960 many things. Good healthcare, you know, even the ability to 0:19:12.960 --> 0:19:15.320 be able to help out other family members who are 0:19:15.320 --> 0:19:19.600 back in Sadan financially and you know, helping other families 0:19:20.320 --> 0:19:23.040 come to Australia or organize their visas. 0:19:23.720 --> 0:19:24.800 My dad did that a lot. 0:19:25.560 --> 0:19:29.600 So just being able to help other people because you know, 0:19:29.680 --> 0:19:33.480 someone else gave us the chance, and I think it's 0:19:33.480 --> 0:19:35.640 one of those great things that we've been. 0:19:35.560 --> 0:19:36.080 Able to do. 0:19:36.320 --> 0:19:39.480 So I also think that one of the amazing things 0:19:39.480 --> 0:19:43.160 out of everything that you've said is you speak three languages. 0:19:44.480 --> 0:19:47.080 That's impressive. And they're not just like, oh, you know, 0:19:47.359 --> 0:19:51.280 French and Italian all those sort of things, Arabic, DNA 0:19:51.640 --> 0:19:54.080 and English all completely. 0:19:53.600 --> 0:19:55.680 Fluently, all completely affluently. 0:19:56.960 --> 0:19:59.119 Like that alone is I mean. 0:19:59.040 --> 0:20:00.840 English was pretty to learn. 0:20:01.920 --> 0:20:04.560 Like the writing aspect of English, because there's just so 0:20:04.600 --> 0:20:07.000 many ways to describe describe things. 0:20:08.040 --> 0:20:10.040 We're in Arabic and Dinker. 0:20:10.520 --> 0:20:12.760 They're complex in terms of the writing and stuff, but 0:20:13.600 --> 0:20:18.000 it's not you know, it's very direct. So yeah, that 0:20:18.040 --> 0:20:18.560 makes sense. 0:20:18.720 --> 0:20:21.520 Yeah. What do you speak with your family Dinker? 0:20:21.640 --> 0:20:22.120 Yeah? 0:20:22.480 --> 0:20:26.080 Yeah, some of my some of my siblings who who 0:20:26.119 --> 0:20:29.720 were born in Egypt or when too young, they speak 0:20:29.720 --> 0:20:32.040 a little bit of Dinker and English. 0:20:32.400 --> 0:20:35.720 And your littlest brother, yeah, he. 0:20:35.720 --> 0:20:36.399 Was born here. 0:20:36.480 --> 0:20:38.960 He is half and halfs There's some things you can 0:20:39.000 --> 0:20:43.280 say in Dinker and there'll beig conversations. Where's half Dinker 0:20:43.320 --> 0:20:49.720 half English? You particularly in these cops in the household. Yeah, 0:20:49.720 --> 0:20:51.960 it's just one of those things. I mean, it's that's 0:20:52.000 --> 0:20:53.960 that's how he's grown up here. 0:20:54.080 --> 0:20:56.800 So would you want Hendrix to know how to speak Dinker? 0:20:57.560 --> 0:20:57.840 Yeah? 0:20:57.960 --> 0:20:59.960 Yeah, I would take him, take him to my mum 0:21:00.000 --> 0:21:01.959 and dads when I when I get the chance. But 0:21:02.680 --> 0:21:06.200 Hendrix is so auzzy, I mean, he's just he has 0:21:06.280 --> 0:21:10.800 vegemindin vegemardin toast and wheat bogs for breakfast. 0:21:11.080 --> 0:21:16.600 He's I love the way you say he's so busy, 0:21:16.640 --> 0:21:17.920 like I'm so disappointed. 0:21:19.880 --> 0:21:22.440 He's just I mean it's, you know, try our best. 0:21:23.040 --> 0:21:25.320 But I think I've got I've got I've got I've 0:21:25.359 --> 0:21:28.400 got little nieces and nephews. He's got so much family 0:21:28.560 --> 0:21:30.920 that he can grow up with, and I'm sure he'll 0:21:30.960 --> 0:21:33.560 be able to pick up some words along the way. 0:21:34.040 --> 0:21:40.000 Yeah, I love it. Reflecting back now, when do you 0:21:40.119 --> 0:21:43.600 think your mental health took a turn? 0:21:44.359 --> 0:21:49.400 I think it was after the court case twenty fourteen 0:21:49.560 --> 0:21:53.399 or something like that. Back then, in hindsight, I should 0:21:53.400 --> 0:21:56.360 have taken, you know, a bit of time away from 0:21:56.359 --> 0:22:00.720 footy and go look after myself. It was just it 0:22:00.800 --> 0:22:05.160 was just mentally and physically exhausting. An at the time, 0:22:06.240 --> 0:22:10.320 all my teammates everyone were in Utah doing the preseason 0:22:10.359 --> 0:22:12.600 camp while I was still back here. One of my 0:22:12.680 --> 0:22:14.400 I was living with one of my teammates at the time. 0:22:14.480 --> 0:22:17.720 He was away as also, so I was going home 0:22:17.760 --> 0:22:20.640 each day and just on my own and dealing with 0:22:21.320 --> 0:22:25.639 what's unfolded that day. It was probably lack of knowledge 0:22:25.680 --> 0:22:30.439 and education around mental health. Because my management they advised me, 0:22:30.480 --> 0:22:32.160 they said, look, if you need to take some time off, 0:22:32.280 --> 0:22:34.720