Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yor
Speaker 1: the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
Speaker 3: She's on the Money, She's on the Money.
Speaker 4: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money podcast for
Speaker 4: millennials who want financial freedom. My name is beck Side
Speaker 4: and Jessica Ritchie joins me today because it is Friday,
Speaker 4: and today we celebrate you the incredible Cheese on the
Speaker 4: Money community. Today we'll be sharing our favorite money wins.
Speaker 4: We'll be helping to answer a juicy money dilemma which
Speaker 4: this week is all about getting back to your savings
Speaker 4: goals after a breakup, and we unpack something you slim
Speaker 4: to our dms about which this week is all about
Speaker 4: the Guild for Spending when you set yourself the goal
Speaker 4: of a no spend month. Jessica Ritchie, how are you?
Speaker 2: I'm good?
Speaker 5: How are you?
Speaker 2: Very good? Thank you?
Speaker 5: But I feel like there's.
Speaker 6: Somebody else we should ask how they're doing. Because of course,
Speaker 6: we have another wonderful guest joining us this week. We've
Speaker 6: got the wonderful Emma Edwards, who you might also know
Speaker 6: as the Broke Generation.
Speaker 5: We are so excited to have you here.
Speaker 6: I feel like I have followed you soever, so I'm
Speaker 6: very excited to have a online friend here.
Speaker 7: Irl likewise back at you.
Speaker 8: Yeah, great to be here. I'm so excited.
Speaker 3: Yay.
Speaker 8: It's been a while since I've been on the STM.
Speaker 6: I was going to say, people who have listened for
Speaker 6: a really like og listens.
Speaker 5: Will remember you were on season was it?
Speaker 2: Season one?
Speaker 7: Must have been season one? Do you know people still
Speaker 7: listen to that? People aren't listing shoes on the Money
Speaker 7: and you're in it, and I'm like, you're in the
Speaker 7: archives space.
Speaker 8: A while ago.
Speaker 5: It's really cool.
Speaker 6: People when they start will often go back to out
Speaker 6: like our very first episode ever still gets down there,
Speaker 6: which is crazy because that's over four years ago now.
Speaker 6: So people are loving it. We thought it only makes
Speaker 6: sense to bring you back.
Speaker 2: Thank you, my love this, Thank you so much for
Speaker 2: being here. Keep having me.
Speaker 4: So do you guys want to chat about how you
Speaker 4: were explaining? Because that's usually how we start. Now I
Speaker 4: just want to I do want to say I wanted
Speaker 4: to know with you, Jess, because I don't know if
Speaker 4: you have context with this. But Jess recently finished a
Speaker 4: bad luck streak, which I think, hey, mo on to me,
Speaker 4: but we will get to that.
Speaker 2: But anyway, Jess, how's your week been?
Speaker 5: Bad luck Streak's not done?
Speaker 6: I feel like I do feel terrible that I've passed
Speaker 6: on to you. But my car had some issues this week,
Speaker 6: which two grands later, Oh, wildly painful.
Speaker 2: What was it? So the you're asking.
Speaker 8: The wrong girl.
Speaker 6: Something was leaking for sure, and also something. So I
Speaker 6: was driving and the it just stopped accelerating, like I
Speaker 6: was driving on a road.
Speaker 5: My foot was on the floor and she just wasn't going, and.
Speaker 6: I was like, oh no, Luckily, like I pulled over
Speaker 6: and thankfully I could get into an emergency lane and
Speaker 6: I just sat there for a bit and I turned
Speaker 6: back on and it was fine. So I got home
Speaker 6: and just like booked it right in. Clearly something was broken.
Speaker 6: They did tell me, I just don't remember. I'm not
Speaker 6: a car girly, as I've said before. But yeah, two
Speaker 6: graind later, and it was extra depressing because I had
Speaker 6: I've just completed a partnership for like a brand campaign,
Speaker 6: and I was so excited because I'd allocated that money
Speaker 6: to something fun and now it's paying, which, you know,
Speaker 6: very grateful that I have that money to pay for
Speaker 6: the car. Super thankful for that, because two thousand dollars
Speaker 6: is so much money. But like I was gonna buy
Speaker 6: myself a sewing machine in.
Speaker 5: A film camera.
Speaker 6: I bought myself a defibrillated Well, no that's not a
Speaker 6: car part.
Speaker 5: That's I bought myself.
Speaker 8: Something to go into the car.
Speaker 5: And my house.
Speaker 8: Your weing feed, no touchwood, no car shoes for me. Currently.
Speaker 7: We got in the current the end of last year.
Speaker 7: And like me because me and my husband Jericha, and
Speaker 7: we've like he regularly just like stops and he's like,
Speaker 7: my mental health is.
Speaker 8: So much better than that.
Speaker 7: We've got this car up because we had such an
Speaker 7: old cart that like the second it was above twenty degrees,
Speaker 7: you'd be like will it start. Yeah, everywhere you went
Speaker 7: you had to be prepared to be stuck there. So
Speaker 7: like we never went on day trips or anything because
Speaker 7: we're like, what cut of all together can bendy go?
Speaker 8: Imagine?
Speaker 7: So yeah, no cur isues for me in Touch. And
Speaker 7: I'm actually scared to say that because I'm so superstitious.
Speaker 7: I'm like, my car's not going to start after this episode.
Speaker 5: Karlie Studio. You're looking forever, but.
Speaker 7: Nothing like major bad luckwise, but I had a bad
Speaker 7: luck streak last year, so I am you know the feels, Yeah, I.
Speaker 8: Really have the feels.
Speaker 7: I've been like on the kind of tale of my
Speaker 7: book launch stuff.
Speaker 8: So it's kind of like everything getting back to normal now.
Speaker 2: But that's very good.
Speaker 4: Yeah, and just for I guess like both mine and
Speaker 4: Jess's peace of mind.
Speaker 2: How long did this streak? Class?
Speaker 7: Okay, I cracked a mirror seven years ago and it's
Speaker 7: just so fun. It's hard to say because I don't
Speaker 7: know if you relate to this, but like there were
Speaker 7: like it was a series of unfortune and events. There
Speaker 7: was like a health thing that was like the health anxiety,
Speaker 7: and then the money and then there'd be you know,
Speaker 7: something else, or i'd lose a client or like a
Speaker 7: sponsored campaign would get canceled, and I'd just be like
Speaker 7: it was just one thing after the other. But then
Speaker 7: it sort of it got so like embodied in my
Speaker 7: entire personality that I just got so sick of myself
Speaker 7: because I, I guess, through self preservation, I just started
Speaker 7: to expect the worst. I was Whenever anyone would be
Speaker 7: like Hawaii, I'd be like, wow, yeah, not great, and
Speaker 7: I was like, oh my well, I'm so annoying, Like
Speaker 7: I'm just a black cloud for myself and everyone. So
Speaker 7: I flipped it like the last quarter of last year
Speaker 7: and decided to embrace this mindset that I call the
Speaker 7: Millhouse mindset. You know a Millhouse from the It's all
Speaker 7: coming up Millhouse. I was like I went into every
Speaker 7: week being like it is all coming up Millhouse, is
Speaker 7: all coming up my house, and anything that happened, I
Speaker 7: just like tried to you know, Bordline toxic positivity, but
Speaker 7: you know, we try. It was the depths of hell.
Speaker 7: I just like tried to flip it somehow. Like I
Speaker 7: had to get like a scan on my foot, which
Speaker 7: was expensive because I had like previously broken it but
Speaker 7: then it ended up not being broken, so I was like,
Speaker 7: it's not broken.
Speaker 8: Rather than being like that was three hundred dollars and
Speaker 8: it wasn't even broken. I was like, it's not broken. Yeamy,
Speaker 8: everything's great. It kind of worked, honestly, So like that, Yeah.
Speaker 5: It's the psychology of at all.
Speaker 6: And I'm excited to talk to you more about that
Speaker 6: because you touch on that in your book a little bit.
Speaker 6: But it's the It's totally and I think I've said
Speaker 6: as well on the pod because I've been on that street.
Speaker 6: I've said, oh, I'm being such a downer and I'm
Speaker 6: just not gonna be that person anymore.
Speaker 8: Especially with money.
Speaker 7: You really feel like, oh, well is me everything sucks
Speaker 7: every time anybody does on the thing, You're like, well
Speaker 7: it must be not.
Speaker 6: Yeah, and everything seems so much bigger and more compounded.
Speaker 5: So I totally get that.
Speaker 6: All that to be said not to tend to track
Speaker 6: from your difficult week.
Speaker 7: I'm not going to toxic positivity.
Speaker 4: I've toxic positivity myself. So I wasn't fortually made redundant
Speaker 4: earlier in the month. And I think at first because
Speaker 4: I obviously like love this company and I loved my job,
Speaker 4: and I love the people, and but I definitely do
Speaker 4: not love you guys.
Speaker 6: I'm sure there are people listening who just met, Oh
Speaker 6: my god, when's she leaving?
Speaker 4: True, No, we should say, oh, sorry, yes I do.
Speaker 4: I have a video producer role. I had, sorry past tens,
Speaker 4: a video producer role, and then also was on this podcast.
Speaker 2: But I'm staying here. But I just was made unfortunately
Speaker 2: redundant from that role.
Speaker 4: And I think that, you know, I had no intention
Speaker 4: of ever, ever, ever leaving that role in this company,
Speaker 4: and so I was kind of like, you know, very sad.
Speaker 4: But speaking of like shifting your mindset, I have kind
Speaker 4: of been like, well, I was never.
Speaker 2: Going to leave this place. Maybe, and I don't think
Speaker 2: that everything happens for a reason. I feel like maybe
Speaker 2: that's a really privileged way to think. It's more so
Speaker 2: I wasn't going to do it.
Speaker 4: Maybe it was the world is telling me that I
Speaker 4: needed trajectory somehow.
Speaker 2: I don't know. Anyway, for those listening, if you have
Speaker 2: a job going, let me know, but that's on that.
Speaker 4: But otherwise I feel like the rest of the world,
Speaker 4: the rest of life is going great.
Speaker 2: It's gone great, and you're.
Speaker 5: Doing very well.
Speaker 6: They've been made, I've been made, have done it before,
Speaker 6: and it just is an awful feeling. Like as much
Speaker 6: as it is so not a you thing ninety percent
Speaker 6: of the time, like, it just is not a nice
Speaker 6: feeling at all. So I'm really sorry that that's happening.
Speaker 6: But I'm very impressed with how positive you are.
Speaker 2: Thank you.
Speaker 5: That's so Nice's away?
Speaker 2: Oh my goodness.
Speaker 4: But anyway, speaking of that money loss, Jess, do you
Speaker 4: have any money wins to brighten up the mood?
Speaker 5: Absolutely?
Speaker 6: I do. We've had some good ones this week. Firstly,
Speaker 6: I've got one from Kaylor who said I did a
Speaker 6: challenge to earn an extra two thousand dollars on top
Speaker 6: of my pay in a week, and I achieved it.
Speaker 6: I took into account a lot of tips that I've
Speaker 6: seen through different pots in the group, and I'm really
Speaker 6: proud that I made it happen.
Speaker 5: Amazing to rate in a week is wild.
Speaker 8: Right now, give us a good point.
Speaker 6: If I could do that twice, it would be fantastic.
Speaker 6: Then I've got a win from Katie who said Cadbury
Speaker 6: cream eggs were on special thirty three percent off stockpiled appropriately.
Speaker 6: I'm heading into the late stages of finishing off my PhD,
Speaker 6: and they are an essential And I just want to
Speaker 6: say that there's a lot of support under her post
Speaker 6: for how essential those Cadbury cream eggs are. We love that. Yeah, PhD,
Speaker 6: good on you, I know, very impressive. Whatever gets you through,
Speaker 6: I think is just you do what you got to do,
Speaker 6: my queen. Next, I've got a money win from Jessica,
Speaker 6: who said great name. I realized on Friday that passed
Speaker 6: me had added money to my daughter's school payment app,
Speaker 6: so I didn't need to find money for a lunch
Speaker 6: order this week.
Speaker 5: Oh I didn't even know that. Like that seems very
Speaker 5: high tech to me.
Speaker 7: I all the like my mother enormoss re nor teachers
Speaker 7: and like the tech. Now I'm like, my kids get
Speaker 7: Uber EA's to school, do they?
Speaker 8: Wow?
Speaker 3: Wow?
Speaker 2: Wow?
Speaker 6: I remember our lunch order was literally a brown paper
Speaker 6: back wrote and you chucked the coin there and you
Speaker 6: hoped that none spilled and got lost, or you've been
Speaker 6: debt to the canteen.
Speaker 2: They bring out the milk crate.
Speaker 6: Oh my gosh, very cool. Well done past you for
Speaker 6: looking out for future you. Next, I've got money win
Speaker 6: from Lucy who said money win and delayed gratification. I've
Speaker 6: been running a particular French linen top from Witchery for
Speaker 6: a while now. It normally retails for one hundred and
Speaker 6: eighty dollars, but I just bought it on sale for
Speaker 6: fifty bucks. Purchased it through Quantus Shopping, so I got
Speaker 6: four points per dollar spend. So she also got four
Speaker 6: times points on that. It's like two hundred points huge.
Speaker 6: Just goes to show Victoria's favorite thing.
Speaker 2: Put what is it?
Speaker 5: Twenty four hours between you and your spending and you
Speaker 5: never know.
Speaker 6: And then next I've got a win from Cat, who said,
Speaker 6: yesterday was the last day of summer season at our
Speaker 6: local swimming pool rip summer. I'm so sorry. I don't
Speaker 6: know about anybody else mourning the loss of the sun.
Speaker 2: I am very happy vascially, but I'm sorry for your.
Speaker 8: Lost Thanks so much, she said.
Speaker 6: They bought a season pass for one hundred and twenty
Speaker 6: five dollars for the family in December. They used the
Speaker 6: pas a total of twenty times, which would have cost
Speaker 6: them three hundred and eighty dollars if they had paid
Speaker 6: each time that they went in for an individual visit,
Speaker 6: so they saved two twenty five by having a pass
Speaker 6: to the pool which is about six bucks per session
Speaker 6: instead of nineteen.
Speaker 2: Great.
Speaker 6: I just wanted to say, I really like the idea
Speaker 6: of looking back at how many you use, because I
Speaker 6: think a lot of the time we all get sucked
Speaker 6: into like those passes that make things cheaper, or the
Speaker 6: bulk discount on the polarates sessions, or you know, whatever
Speaker 6: it might be, and you go, oh, that's a deal,
Speaker 6: like I'm going to get the deal. Then you don't
Speaker 6: use it and you're actually paying three times the price.
Speaker 7: Yes, because that's something to be said when you do
Speaker 7: the parting with the money up front. Yeah, you don't
Speaker 7: have the like accountability like for some I think it
Speaker 7: depends on your brain works. Some people are like I
Speaker 7: want to get my money's worse, yes, whereas I'm a
Speaker 7: bit like, oh my commitment's kind of run out.
Speaker 5: Now, yeah, like the money's gone.
Speaker 7: Yeah, so it's like, oh, well it doesn't really matter
Speaker 7: if I go or not, which is.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know you mean.
Speaker 6: Yeah, so really good good one from Cat. They reflect
Speaker 6: on those little bolt purchases if you do them, to
Speaker 6: see if you are in fact getting your money's worth.
Speaker 6: And then lastly, I've got a money win from Shani
Speaker 6: who said I did a live chat with Optus asking
Speaker 6: for a discount on my plan. The first person said
Speaker 6: that they couldn't help, but I just gave it another
Speaker 6: crack and I got somebody else who gave me ten
Speaker 6: bucks off a month for twelve months, one hundred and
Speaker 6: twenty dollars win.
Speaker 2: This is my way.
Speaker 8: I do this all the time.
Speaker 7: They must have like a like dartboard with my face
Speaker 7: on it. I'm in the live chat regularly.
Speaker 5: They never told me no, though.
Speaker 8: I tell me no.
Speaker 5: If they say no, just give it another cruy. Someone
Speaker 5: asked you, what's the harm?
Speaker 6: They're there to help rat Now now we have been
Speaker 6: asking our guests when they come on to share a
Speaker 6: little money when not a confession of their own.
Speaker 5: If you happen to have one.
Speaker 7: I do excellent. It's kind of a money loss, but
Speaker 7: then it turns into a money win.
Speaker 8: It's okay, quite a journey, the journey love it.
Speaker 1: So.
Speaker 7: A couple of weeks ago I went up to Sydney
Speaker 7: to do like a speaking thing, which was obviously like
Speaker 7: heavy on the anxiety for me because I do a
Speaker 7: lot of panels, but like I don't do a whole
Speaker 7: lot of like keynote speaking. So I was super excited
Speaker 7: to do it. I was prepared, but I was like
Speaker 7: practicing a lot. I practiced and got so anxious about
Speaker 7: practicing so much that I did not think about an outfit.
Speaker 7: And I'd been so busy doing other stuff with my book.
Speaker 7: I was just like on the morning of, like I
Speaker 7: was flying up the date before, So the morning I
Speaker 7: was flying, I was packing my suitcase and I was like,
Speaker 7: oh my god, I haven't though about what I'm gonna wear.
Speaker 7: Like this has to be it was like in a
Speaker 7: corporate setting. So I was like, this has to be
Speaker 7: a sleigh. And then I was like, okay, I'll wear
Speaker 7: this and there was just cat hair all over it.
Speaker 7: I couldn't find my roller.
Speaker 8: I tried. I put it in the wash, it came out.
Speaker 8: I was still there. Okay.
Speaker 7: So time was a ticking and I was like, I
Speaker 7: need to do another go over of my presentation. I
Speaker 7: was going to record it on my voice memo so
Speaker 7: I could listen to it on the plane. I had
Speaker 7: it all planned out, and I was like, right, I'm
Speaker 7: going to make the executive decision that I'm going to
Speaker 7: have this hour to practice my speech. And I will
Speaker 7: find something to wear when I get to Sydney. I
Speaker 7: took something obviously, I didn't go with absolutely nothing. I
Speaker 7: took something I could wear, but it wasn't ideal. So
Speaker 7: then I get to Sydney and I scramble over to
Speaker 7: like Anhelam country road. All that stuff's trying to plan something.
Speaker 7: The loss is that what I ended up finding. Like,
Speaker 7: there was lots of things I could have worn, and
Speaker 7: there were sales on at that point, so it was great,
Speaker 7: but lots of stuff not in my size excel girly
Speaker 7: not a lot left. Usually a sleigh because most people
Speaker 7: aren't buying size, but not this time. So I ended
Speaker 7: up getting a dress and like a little sleeveless jacket
Speaker 7: that all up was three hundred dollars. I know, money loss,
Speaker 7: but I was like, whatever, you know, it works out
Speaker 7: for what of being paid for the thing anyway. So
Speaker 7: then I'm getting ready the next morning and I'm like,
Speaker 7: this is a sleigh. It was kind of worth the money.
Speaker 7: I'm actually really vibing this jacket. I'm gonna wear it again.
Speaker 7: I realized that the dress is like malfunctioning, like it's
Speaker 7: it's faulty somehow. But it doesn't matter because I'm wearing
Speaker 7: the jacket. So I'm like sick. So I go back
Speaker 7: in after I've already worn it to the event because
Speaker 7: I had to, because I had to run off and
Speaker 7: go to the event. And I was like, this, I
Speaker 7: think is faulty. I don't think it's meant to be
Speaker 7: like this, and she was like, oh no, it's not.
Speaker 7: Let me give you your money back. So I got
Speaker 7: to wear perfect and then I got my money back.
Speaker 5: Yes, so good, really said I had your back on
Speaker 5: that one.
Speaker 8: Yeah, it was really coming up millhe for me, because yeah,
Speaker 8: it was really. I didn't want to.
Speaker 7: I was thinking, I first about one hundred and fifty,
Speaker 7: this is fine, it's something I can wear again. But
Speaker 7: like three hundred, I was like, whereas now, like the
Speaker 7: jacket was fine, it was half priced, it was pretty good,
Speaker 7: but I didn't.
Speaker 8: Have to pay for the dress.
Speaker 2: That's so good.
Speaker 4: And do you feel like you would have not worn
Speaker 4: it again? It was like one of those things that
Speaker 4: you I mean.
Speaker 7: I would have, but it was faulty, so I couldn't have. Really,
Speaker 7: it was like a weird, rushing thing that wasn't going
Speaker 7: to be doing. But you know, I was a bit
Speaker 7: kind of like this must be faulty. It wasn't like
Speaker 7: abundantly obvious that it was faulty. So it was a
Speaker 7: bit of a shame. But like I didn't I didn't
Speaker 7: need it, needed it worked out.
Speaker 2: That is so good. It was a journey pray for
Speaker 2: a faulty dress, I think.
Speaker 4: And if you're calling out in your kind of stress
Speaker 4: and you go to like some sort of event, I'm
Speaker 4: going to a wedding suit and I'm going to pray
Speaker 4: for fault held everything, just like a tiny fault that
Speaker 4: you can't really see with the untrained eye.
Speaker 8: Yeah, but enough to.
Speaker 5: I broke for thenk we always.
Speaker 4: I love how we always find a unique way to
Speaker 4: segue into my brogue tips and that that was actually perfect. Okay,
Speaker 4: so broke tips for this week. As always, I do
Speaker 4: have one from the community, one for myself and am I.
Speaker 4: If you're comfortable, we'll get you to share one last
Speaker 4: you if you have one ready, Yeah, amazing, amazing, Okay,
Speaker 4: here we go. Okay, So the first one from the
Speaker 4: community comes from Bridget who says that Continental Mushroom cup
Speaker 4: of Soup makes a good cheap pasta sauce. Just put
Speaker 4: some olive oil in a pan, add one or two
Speaker 4: sachets of soup, then stir in milk with a fork
Speaker 4: until the sauce is as sick as you want. You
Speaker 4: can also add cooked mushroom or chicken, but it's good
Speaker 4: by itself.
Speaker 2: With pasta, that's great. That's probably like a.
Speaker 4: I don't know, I'm doing quick math here, but maybe
Speaker 4: two dollars fifty meal, you know what I mean?
Speaker 6: Yeah?
Speaker 1: Good?
Speaker 7: This is like a subreddit of this is you use
Speaker 7: it with rice and it's a risotto.
Speaker 4: Oh yeah, someone did mention, did you we've had that
Speaker 4: before one?
Speaker 9: I think.
Speaker 4: She also recommended the cup of soup, which is a
Speaker 4: great idea because.
Speaker 7: They're really good for like office lunches. But like if
Speaker 7: you ever look at like the nutritional info of soup,
Speaker 7: like it's giving keytost tart a pack, like there's no calories,
Speaker 7: which for me, you know, I need like a decent meal.
Speaker 7: I'm hungry me. So it's like I love, especially in winter,
Speaker 7: soup is so good, but there's not real It's not
Speaker 7: really enough, whereas bung ins and microwave rice perfect.
Speaker 5: You pay your.
Speaker 8: Desk, it's non perishable.
Speaker 5: I was gonna say that's a good one to have,
Speaker 5: like in your pantry.
Speaker 6: It's just like the weeks that you're really skinned all
Speaker 6: the weeks, all the nights.
Speaker 5: So you just go, I can't be bothered. Chuck a
Speaker 5: cup of suit, chuck of rice.
Speaker 8: Yeah done, dangerously close to ordering a bery.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 5: Perfect, that's a good one.
Speaker 4: The shift though, from like scrolling on uber ey, it's
Speaker 4: to me like I'm just going to coming home. The
Speaker 4: mental shift is really a struggle. So congratulations to anyone
Speaker 4: that has successfully done that. Okay, so my personal brod tip.
Speaker 2: I don't know if you guys, this is probably more.
Speaker 4: Of a Melbourne based thing. I do apologize for anyone
Speaker 4: listening outside of Melbourne. Hawthorne have a cinema called Lido Cinema.
Speaker 2: Have you guys heard of this one?
Speaker 4: Well, if you sign up, if you become a member
Speaker 4: basically and to my knowledge, it's free, you often receive
Speaker 4: either in your inbox or you can just like jump
Speaker 4: on their website.
Speaker 2: There's usually like.
Speaker 4: One dollar tickets or really just really really cheap things
Speaker 4: that they're giving away.
Speaker 2: Every couple of weeks or so. You might find that
Speaker 2: you have like a one.
Speaker 4: Dollar ticket in your inbox and I just I think
Speaker 4: that's a great idea, especially if you still want to,
Speaker 4: like if you are broke but you still want to
Speaker 4: kind of like go out and do things and you know,
Speaker 4: have fun like the rest of the world. Like you
Speaker 4: can do that with leader and I'm sure there's an
Speaker 4: equivalent in other states and territories, but just have a
Speaker 4: little pruse.
Speaker 2: But anyway, that's me. Ever, I would love.
Speaker 4: To hear your broke teap if you're awesome, Thank you
Speaker 4: so much.
Speaker 7: Well, so I had one that's like a saving step
Speaker 7: just that I've been using recently. Yes, that has just
Speaker 7: been very helpful for me. So last year I bought
Speaker 7: tickets to Teleswift Ears tour obviously, of course, and I
Speaker 7: also bought tickets to see Simple Plan because besides my
Speaker 7: personality just one day, because so I got a Simple Plan.
Speaker 7: Yeah cool, I'm into it. But the Boys Like Girls
Speaker 7: is supporting.
Speaker 5: Oh my god. I loved Boys Like Girls when I
Speaker 5: was a teenager, so good.
Speaker 7: And I saw them last year in a show that
Speaker 7: had been delayed from like twenty twenty I think. And
Speaker 7: the friend I was supposed to go to she couldn't
Speaker 7: come anyway. She was like they're supporting some more plant
Speaker 7: Let's go. So also did that and also in the
Speaker 7: third dimension of my personality where I'm like the most
Speaker 7: basic bitch of all time, I also bought Coldplay tickets.
Speaker 5: Yeah, I love it.
Speaker 4: I just can't.
Speaker 7: I just can't explain it. It's good, but I was like, ooh, okay,
Speaker 7: not loving these. Like you know, with tickets, you've got
Speaker 7: to be so immediate, like you've got to be on
Speaker 7: it because you can't be like I'm going to think about.
Speaker 5: It like a six minute timeatting down on the.
Speaker 7: Screen, stressing and like that makes you want it more
Speaker 7: as well. Right, So what I did at the start
Speaker 7: of this year is every week I'm just kicking fifteen
Speaker 7: dollars into which you know, maybe I should be doing more,
Speaker 7: but that's kind of where I'm at in terms of
Speaker 7: the people I think I might want to go and see.
Speaker 7: I'm not like crazy into artists, into a separate saver
Speaker 7: called I will not be bankrupted by concert tickets, so
Speaker 7: that when tickets drop, either got all of the money
Speaker 7: or I've got some of the money and it already worked.
Speaker 7: Because I don't know if anyone follows Christopher Hall on
Speaker 7: TikTok or Instagram's a comedian out Okay, he's coming to
Speaker 7: Australia and I was like, oh my god, I really
Speaker 7: want to go, but like they're the ones that will
Speaker 7: get you.
Speaker 6: Yeah.
Speaker 7: So they're like fifty sixty seventy dollars. They're not that
Speaker 7: expensive compared to eras for example, but like it adds up.
Speaker 7: And I had the money there and I was like,
Speaker 7: this is so good because I'm not like, oh I
Speaker 7: want to go but I can't afford it. Oh I
Speaker 7: bought them, but I feel really guilty. Like I was like,
Speaker 7: got the money, let's go, so excited. My friend's got
Speaker 7: her ticket to So saving up for stuff before you
Speaker 7: need it is that, I guess the umbrella tip.
Speaker 5: I love it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, that's such a great idea, and like things like
Speaker 4: that where it's like either maybe say you want to
Speaker 4: go to the movies once a month or something like that,
Speaker 4: just like putting that away so you don't feel so.
Speaker 7: Guilty for spontaneity, commission to be spontaneous. Yeah, Oh I
Speaker 7: like that a lot. Saving up for spontaneous.
Speaker 2: I love that.
Speaker 7: Also another saver called Captain spontaneous, which is saving up
Speaker 7: for a spontaneous trip, because I really want to do
Speaker 7: that thing where you get let's just should we go now,
Speaker 7: let's go now? But then I always I'm like, because
Speaker 7: obviously I'm a finance caning, I'm obviously like a a
Speaker 7: better not or it's a bit expensive, or it'd be
Speaker 7: cheaper if we book it in advance, But then you
Speaker 7: miss out on the opportunity to do so. It's like
Speaker 7: preparing for spontaneity, which I guess is not really the
Speaker 7: same thing, but we like financially safe spontaneity.
Speaker 6: My god, I need you to go through my bank
Speaker 6: and just name my different savers.
Speaker 8: Is so fun.
Speaker 2: I'm going to start.
Speaker 4: Those are the exact two things that I want to
Speaker 4: be saving. I just wanna be like sat on my
Speaker 4: couch one day and be like talking to my girlfriend
Speaker 4: and be like, hey, should we, like literally right now,
Speaker 4: go to la Yeah, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: That'd be so fun.
Speaker 4: Anyway, let's go for a quick break and on the
Speaker 4: flip side, we're going to be discussing getting back to
Speaker 4: your savings goals after a breakup. Welcome back everyone, here's
Speaker 4: our money dilemma.
Speaker 2: Hi, there have you got a money dilemma?
Speaker 9: You just can't solve the She's on the Money team
Speaker 9: is here to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas,
Speaker 9: both big and small, to answer your most burning money,
Speaker 9: career and life questions. To get involved, simply head to
Speaker 9: our website and leave us a short voice recording and
Speaker 9: you might just find yourself on the show. Now, let's
Speaker 9: take a listen to this week's money dilemma.
Speaker 3: Hi guys, I have a bit of a money situation.
Speaker 3: I'm really hoping that I can get some advice on
Speaker 3: this situation. I have recently ended an engagement with my
Speaker 3: fiance as I found out there was a bit of
Speaker 3: an infidelity and together we had some really good earned savings.
Speaker 5: And we had quite a lot of goals for our future.
Speaker 3: However, I've been single for now, just going on six months,
Speaker 3: and I have burned a lot of cash to be honest,
Speaker 3: with buying things and just doing things that have brought
Speaker 3: me joy in this really, really tough time that I
Speaker 3: never thought i'd have to go through. And obviously I've
Speaker 3: been incredibly low and that's obviously spurred on me buying
Speaker 3: just things that I don't necessarily need.
Speaker 5: So I would really appreciate.
Speaker 3: Some advice to get back onto the savings bandwagon.
Speaker 5: Any advice would be very very helpful.
Speaker 8: Thanks.
Speaker 2: Ah, this is such a tough one.
Speaker 4: I mean, obviously when it comes to like money, I'm
Speaker 4: not the expert just by being on a finance podcast,
Speaker 4: but I would say to our listener firstly, obviously, and
Speaker 4: I'm sure you're doing this hopefully to some extent, but
Speaker 4: just you know, making sure that you're healing your heart
Speaker 4: and soul because a breakup is really, really tough and
Speaker 4: it's not the time to be I don't know about everyone,
Speaker 4: but for myself personally, when I'm like in a situation
Speaker 4: where I'm like going through a breakup and my heart
Speaker 4: and my head and my body is just so sore
Speaker 4: and sad and empty and grieving, I'm not like, how
Speaker 4: can I make myself better today? I'm more just like
Speaker 4: I'm gonna set some time to be a little bit
Speaker 4: self destructive.
Speaker 2: Not so much that I'll you know, come out of
Speaker 2: the other end and be.
Speaker 4: Like, wow, my life is really messed up, but just
Speaker 4: more so like I'm going to do everything that makes
Speaker 4: me feel good right now, and I'll set a little
Speaker 4: timer for that, like this week self destruction week, next week,
Speaker 4: I'll kind of think about how I can, you know,
Speaker 4: move forward, but I think just like really just taking
Speaker 4: care of yourself and making sure your heart and your
Speaker 4: mind and your body and your spirit is being taken
Speaker 4: care of before that. But you know, again, I'm not
Speaker 4: the finance expert and what you came me for and
Speaker 4: I've not given you any advice, so that's me. But
Speaker 4: do you guys have any better financial tips or anything
Speaker 4: for out the stuff?
Speaker 8: Yes, I would say so.
Speaker 7: I mean, obviously every breakup situation is different, and I'm
Speaker 7: to the listener, I'm so sorry you're going through that.
Speaker 7: Well done for leaving that environment, especially when there was
Speaker 7: an engagement, because sometimes that can be like, oh, you know,
Speaker 7: I'll just keep pushing on because of the pressure of
Speaker 7: what's coming up. So yeah, you know, being really kind
Speaker 7: to yourself on that sense, I think here there needs
Speaker 7: to be a sense of trying to stop yourself from
Speaker 7: looking back. I feel like when you've had savings, not
Speaker 7: only you had savings and then started to spend them,
Speaker 7: but you've had savings in a completely different life experience
Speaker 7: to what you're now living. So I would imagine there's
Speaker 7: probably a sense of like spending can often be an
Speaker 7: attempt to regain control, which is probably what's happening, and
Speaker 7: that's okay, Like, that's a very legitimate way of doing that.
Speaker 7: You're doing it with savings, you're not getting into debt,
Speaker 7: you're not putting yourself into like immediate financial danger. So
Speaker 7: probably first step would be, I would say neutralizing what's happened,
Speaker 7: because often when you've spent savings that in a way
Speaker 7: that you didn't intend to spend them, it's like, oh
Speaker 7: my god, I've got a scramble to get back to
Speaker 7: where I was. Whereas actually that sort of like comparing
Speaker 7: a previous optimum state when you had completely different resources
Speaker 7: and circumstances at that time to where you are now
Speaker 7: and trying to scramble back to that, it's probably just
Speaker 7: going to make you feel even more out of control
Speaker 7: than actually foster the spending behavior even more. I would
Speaker 7: be looking at if this was like a friend that
Speaker 7: had said this to me, I would be looking at
Speaker 7: working on a progressive shift in the behavior and in
Speaker 7: the mindset. So rather than being like, oh my god,
Speaker 7: I have to stop all of this right now, and
Speaker 7: I have to save one hundred dollars a week or whatever,
Speaker 7: you consider optimum. In the old circumstances, I would be thinking, okay,
Speaker 7: I want to work up to that, so start really small.
Speaker 8: All I've got to do this week is put fifty.
Speaker 7: Dollars there and then whatever else happens, that's okay because
Speaker 7: I've started, and then the next week build up, build up,
Speaker 7: And what that kind of allows you to do is
Speaker 7: gradually rehearse the behaviors that you want to practice over
Speaker 7: and over again. Currently, it's obviously been spending living your life,
Speaker 7: regaining that control, probably flexing that independence, I guess, finding
Speaker 7: like the positive side of that awful experience that you've
Speaker 7: had so kind of rather than cutting that off completely
Speaker 7: because it is serving an emotional purpose for you, I
Speaker 7: would imagine shrinking it down and repeating that behavior of
Speaker 7: building your savings up again gradually. Because the impulse is
Speaker 7: to want to like with everything, like I'm suddenly going
Speaker 7: to the gym five days a week. I'm now not
Speaker 7: doing that spending anymore. I'm saving all of it, like
Speaker 7: we want to course correct so quickly, but it just
Speaker 7: puts extra pressure on, especially when there's other emotional factors
Speaker 7: that are already making us feel more out of control.
Speaker 7: So I would set like I'm a big fan of
Speaker 7: a six week sprint, but maybe not sprint in this environment,
Speaker 7: but like a six week build up where each week
Speaker 7: you focus on one different thing. You've just got one
Speaker 7: small action, and then that is your new one hundred percent.
Speaker 7: I do this with work a lot, but it applies
Speaker 7: to money. Like previously, in your old relationship, when you
Speaker 7: had a double income and you weren't griving a relationship,
Speaker 7: your one hundred percent might have been saving that five
Speaker 7: hundred dollars a week, whereas now your new hundred percent
Speaker 7: is saving fifty, or is saving nothing but not using
Speaker 7: credit or whatever your circumstances are, and then building that
Speaker 7: up so that you're not putting the pressure on yourself
Speaker 7: to suddenly be perfect, and then you're kind of accepting
Speaker 7: the situation for what it is. Your money is a
Speaker 7: resource that we use to do various different things. Right now,
Speaker 7: you're living your life a bit and you're spending.
Speaker 6: It a bit.
Speaker 8: It is what it is, totally, don't you know.
Speaker 7: If we were being purely mathematical, yeah, you know, cut
Speaker 7: it off and put it in savings. But behaviorally you've
Speaker 7: got to be much more gentler on yourself in that
Speaker 7: situation anyway, and even more so because there's.
Speaker 2: Been a breakup involved.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I imagine it's also quite costly with the breakup
Speaker 4: from moving home and you have to buy PHN sure
Speaker 4: and all this kind of stuff you could bond down
Speaker 4: from new plays and what. But anyway, exactly, I totally
Speaker 4: go with saying I really really like that the six
Speaker 4: week walk.
Speaker 6: I think as well also just recalibrating your goals. You know, previously,
Speaker 6: maybe you were hoping to purchase the house within you know,
Speaker 6: a couple of years or whatever that might have looked
Speaker 6: like when you had that jewel income. Just because you
Speaker 6: don't have that jewel income doesn't mean you can't achieve
Speaker 6: those goals. I understand that it might feel very different
Speaker 6: because your financial situation looks entirely different, And as you said,
Speaker 6: am I, you're really navigating that around all of the
Speaker 6: emotions that you're feeling, which we know has such a
Speaker 6: huge impact on the way that we handle our money
Speaker 6: and how we feel about our financial position. But you know,
Speaker 6: just because you're now doing it with one person instead
Speaker 6: of two, doesn't mean that whatever those big goals that
Speaker 6: you were talking about having, they don't have to go away.
Speaker 6: You can still save to travel, you can still save
Speaker 6: to purchase the house, you can still save to get
Speaker 6: a pet, or do whatever it is that you wanted
Speaker 6: to do, and you can totally do that by yourself
Speaker 6: as an independent girl. Like, just because there's not two
Speaker 6: people doesn't mean that you have to change all of
Speaker 6: your goals. I think, as Emma said, like recalibrating what
Speaker 6: that looks like and maybe adjusting your timelines or making
Speaker 6: sure that it's really realistic and attainable so you're not
Speaker 6: beating yourself up if you don't get to where you
Speaker 6: want it to be is so important. But I think
Speaker 6: also remembering that you're strong, an independent queen and you
Speaker 6: can totally achieve the things that you want to do.
Speaker 6: It just you have to be kind to yourself on
Speaker 6: the path to get there, I think is important. But
Speaker 6: I know that I'm someone who really does catastrophize and
Speaker 6: in a big change like that would send me for
Speaker 6: a spiral, and that's also okay. But yeah, I just
Speaker 6: wanted to remind you that you can do whatever you
Speaker 6: set your mind to, and you really, I think with
Speaker 6: you're doing the right thing, Like you're thinking about what
Speaker 6: to do, which is even just becoming conscious of the
Speaker 6: problem is such a big step that takes a lot
Speaker 6: of people such a long time.
Speaker 5: To get there.
Speaker 6: So it feels like you're doing really well, and I
Speaker 6: hope that you're okay, because, yeah, like you said, back
Speaker 6: breakup so just the worst generally, like there's no good
Speaker 6: way to go about it, and it sounds like this
Speaker 6: one's been particularly difficult, and so I just wanted to
Speaker 6: send you some love and say you can totally do it,
Speaker 6: and we're all thinking of you. But absolutely I completely
Speaker 6: agree with that. I really do hope you're okay. If
Speaker 6: our listener is listening, I do hope that.
Speaker 4: You you know, when I kind of like went through
Speaker 4: a similar thing recently, And again this is not financial,
Speaker 4: this is all emotional. But I had a friend who
Speaker 4: just said, in three months time, your life's going to
Speaker 4: look so different. In three months time, you're going to
Speaker 4: be so much happier, or in three months time, you're
Speaker 4: at least going to know where you're headed. And I
Speaker 4: think that's really important. So just keep that in mind
Speaker 4: that your future self is having a great time, but
Speaker 4: right now I can totally totally empathize, So hope you're okay, okay?
Speaker 2: Is everyone ready for a juicy DM?
Speaker 4: Absolutely A listener has slim to our DMS with the
Speaker 4: following dilemma. So, I'm currently twenty days into a no
Speaker 4: spend month that I set for myself where I'm not
Speaker 4: allowed to spend money on anything except the essentials in brackets, bills, rent, groceries, shopping,
Speaker 4: et cetera. But I have already failed and broken this
Speaker 4: three times, making impulse purchases on a dress, a pair
Speaker 4: of shoes that were on sale, and a bottomless brunch
Speaker 4: with my friends. I'm so disappointed in myself that couldn't
Speaker 4: even make it a month, and now I'm struggling with.
Speaker 2: Big feelings of guilt.
Speaker 4: I don't know if maybe I set the rules too strictly,
Speaker 4: considering this my first time doing this, and maybe I
Speaker 4: set myself up for failure for setting such high expectations,
Speaker 4: or maybe I'm just out of control. I need to
Speaker 4: address my issues with impulse purchases. What do you think?
Speaker 4: Any advice on how I can do this better for
Speaker 4: next time? Please help.
Speaker 6: I feel like, Emma, you're so well placed to talk
Speaker 6: about this because you did a no by yeah last
Speaker 6: year on clothing which was so. I think I've spoken
Speaker 6: about this on the top before about how I found
Speaker 6: it so interesting watching you do it.
Speaker 7: Yeah, I have a lot of thoughts around no Spend.
Speaker 7: I feel like no spend in general has such as
Speaker 7: there's so much to say about it, there's so many pros,
Speaker 7: and there's a lot of coins as well. So I
Speaker 7: last year did a full category ban of clothing, but
Speaker 7: it was still quite relaxed in that there were certain
Speaker 7: it didn't count, like I really knew what I was
Speaker 7: trying to do. I was really not buying outfits, Like
Speaker 7: anything that was outfits I would still have bought had
Speaker 7: it been the earstot I would have bought a merch
Speaker 7: t shirt. I shoes were still allowed because I don't
Speaker 7: have an issue with buying shoes. I actually hate shoes.
Speaker 7: I kind of wish I find them really like, I
Speaker 7: don't over consume those again, bags accessories, if anything, I
Speaker 7: under consume them. I could probably benefit from having more
Speaker 7: of them to get more mileage out of my outfits.
Speaker 7: So I think that an option here would be to
Speaker 7: revisit the intention behind the no Spend no spend a bit.
Speaker 7: Like we said in the previous dilemma like you have
Speaker 7: this impulse to be like I'm suddenly forever changed and
Speaker 7: the person I was before the start of this month. No, no,
Speaker 7: like I'm going to be perfect, and it sounds so
Speaker 7: much easier than it is. A month is a really
Speaker 7: long time, yeah, when you're actually trying to do something
Speaker 7: for a month. So I would be looking at the
Speaker 7: intentions behind the no spend and see what the motivations
Speaker 7: are behind the impulse purchases that are causing you to,
Speaker 7: for want of a better term, slip up because it's
Speaker 7: creating guilt and it's probably creating like a domino effect
Speaker 7: of more purchasing, or it's creating a feeling of being
Speaker 7: out of control, which I said on the previous dilemma
Speaker 7: like that can foster spending as well, because it's the
Speaker 7: one thing that we can control in terms of the guilt.
Speaker 7: What I would be doing with that is instead of
Speaker 7: seeing it as a failure, just seeing it as data.
Speaker 7: So what were the three purchases? It was a dress,
Speaker 7: a bottomless brunch, whatever, Yes, those things are now data points,
Speaker 7: so we can look at around those. What happened in
Speaker 7: the lead up was it that everyone was going for
Speaker 7: a bottomless brunch and you felt left out? Was it
Speaker 7: that the bottomless brunch was actually always there and you forgot?
Speaker 7: That's a different problem. That's a phomo problem or an
Speaker 7: organizational problem. The dress was that like an emotional purchase.
Speaker 7: Were feeling a bit shitty about yourself that day that
Speaker 7: made you buy that? Or was it actually that you
Speaker 7: had an interview and you don't have enough workloads? Again,
Speaker 7: two completely different problems. Yeah, So by looking at it
Speaker 7: as data, it takes away the guilt, because guilt is
Speaker 7: very different to shame in that guilt has you like
Speaker 7: regretting your behavior. You see the issue for what it is,
Speaker 7: and you're just constantly trying to change, but you're up
Speaker 7: against a brick wall. Having information and like taking action
Speaker 7: on that can help to dissolve that guilt because you're
Speaker 7: not feeling like, oh my god, I just need to
Speaker 7: change it, like you're actually in there working with the data.
Speaker 7: So seeing it as data points in terms of those
Speaker 7: individual things, but also I would see the month as
Speaker 7: a data point as well, like when did you find
Speaker 7: the month easy? Did you ever find the month easy?
Speaker 7: What planning did you do? Did you do any planning?
Speaker 7: Like I think they mentioned did they set themselves up
Speaker 7: for failure, like what does that kind of look like?
Speaker 8: What did work? What didn't work?
Speaker 7: And then kind of using that to think, okay, where
Speaker 7: can I go as a next step, like everything is
Speaker 7: really just an experiment. You tried that, it didn't work,
Speaker 7: That's okay, we can move on. Maybe we do a
Speaker 7: category ban of something. If the bottomous brunch was an
Speaker 7: organizational thing, and actually you're like, well, I wouldn't want
Speaker 7: to miss that, so there's really no point. Rather than
Speaker 7: waiting for a perfect month where the circumstances are perfect
Speaker 7: for you to do and no spend, we can look
Speaker 7: at a category ban, or maybe banning isn't for you,
Speaker 7: maybe you're more of a person that can work with
Speaker 7: having a small budget for something each week. I personally
Speaker 7: benefit from concentrated periods of focus in that context of
Speaker 7: a ban, because I'm very like hyper focus on the
Speaker 7: month or the year or whatever and or that category.
Speaker 7: I couldn't do a no spend of nothing, but like
Speaker 7: the category selection helps me focus, and I'll put my
Speaker 7: all into it, and not just to complete it, but
Speaker 7: to learn from it, using it as a learning experience,
Speaker 7: rather than using it as an experience to get to
Speaker 7: a certain amount of savings, because even if like really,
Speaker 7: and I know this probably isn't what you want to
Speaker 7: hear at this point, but like really, getting through the
Speaker 7: month is technically the easy bit. The hard bit is
Speaker 7: what happens next, which I'm experiencing now having brought clothes
Speaker 7: for a year. Trying to balance it is harder than
Speaker 7: not doing it at all personally for me, whereas if
Speaker 7: you actually, you know again, maybe a ban isn't for you,
Speaker 7: and actually you would find that easier. That was a
Speaker 7: lot of information. Sorry, I hope that's basically, use it
Speaker 7: all as data about what approaches work for you and
Speaker 7: the surrounding circumstances around the purchases, and use that to
Speaker 7: redeploy into a new plan and then assess. Rather than
Speaker 7: that pass fail mentality, pass few mentality ruins almost every
Speaker 7: form of habit change.
Speaker 8: Let's go there.
Speaker 7: Let's sweeping statements every form of habit change. If there's
Speaker 7: an opportunity to pass or fail, it's not going to
Speaker 7: create long term change because if you pass, that means
Speaker 7: nothing about where you go next, and if you fail,
Speaker 7: that means everything about where you go next. Because you're disempowered,
Speaker 7: you feel out of control and you don't know what
Speaker 7: to do.
Speaker 8: Whereas when you're.
Speaker 7: Seeing everything as a learning experience and using all of
Speaker 7: the spends, successes, whatever, emotions, behaviors as data points, that
Speaker 7: helps you with where to go next, and that's what
Speaker 7: creates lasting change. Forget about completing the no spend month
Speaker 7: unless you've learned something. It's really irrelevant because you can't
Speaker 7: never spend anything ever again, And we don't want to
Speaker 7: villainize spending.
Speaker 5: No, no, not at all.
Speaker 6: And I think the failure thing is that you can
Speaker 6: fail something like it's not a bad thing to fail,
Speaker 6: Like anyone who's ever done anything had to fail before
Speaker 6: they succeeded.
Speaker 5: Like you look at to do.
Speaker 6: Anything ever, you know you need to collect the data,
Speaker 6: you need to do all these things. Exactly like you
Speaker 6: were saying, failure is just it just means you're making progress.
Speaker 6: Really like you've tried something, it didn't work, Okay, great, Like,
Speaker 6: how can we adjust it? How can we reframe that
Speaker 6: to then be closer to the goal next time we try.
Speaker 6: I think, don't let it put you off feeling like
Speaker 6: you've failed. I think, particularly with goals.
Speaker 5: And I'm very.
Speaker 6: Much guilty of this as someone who struggles a little
Speaker 6: bit with perfectionism. Is if it doesn't go the way
Speaker 6: that you want it to go, go, why did I
Speaker 6: even bother? Like, what's the point? And that mentality really
Speaker 6: stands in the way of you succeeding, you know, going, oh,
Speaker 6: I can't not spend money, so I'm just not going
Speaker 6: to try to not spend money.
Speaker 8: And I'll just be bid by money.
Speaker 6: Then it means that you're never going to be good
Speaker 6: with money, which you know you're standing in your own
Speaker 6: way with that mentality. And I think reframing exactly like
Speaker 6: you were saying, means that we can go, Okay, well,
Speaker 6: how can I adjust? How can I set myself up?
Speaker 6: I suppose to be more successful? And you know, whether
Speaker 6: that looks like changing the category or maybe you do
Speaker 6: two weeks, or maybe you do have the little saver
Speaker 6: like you were talking about earlier, where I'm not someone
Speaker 6: who does no spends.
Speaker 5: They don't really.
Speaker 6: Work for me, but I do exactly like what you
Speaker 6: do with the concert tickets I've spoken before. I have
Speaker 6: fifteen savers on my phone and I break down my
Speaker 6: spending into every little minute category so that I feel okay,
Speaker 6: I know what I.
Speaker 5: Can spend within that category, and so I guess it's more.
Speaker 6: Of like extreme budgeting works for me, and I think
Speaker 6: recognizing not every system works for every person. You know,
Speaker 6: like my way would work for your way wouldn't necessarily
Speaker 6: work for me, and that is so fine, But it's
Speaker 6: just about figuring out what system does work for you
Speaker 6: to help you achieve whatever that ultimate goal was, whether
Speaker 6: it's raining in your spending, whether it's not consuming mindlessly
Speaker 6: on certain things, whatever, that looks like you can achieve
Speaker 6: that without necessarily having to do what you think everybody
Speaker 6: else has to do.
Speaker 5: If that makes sense.
Speaker 8: Totally agree to your point on goals.
Speaker 7: If this person was in the room with us, I
Speaker 7: would say, what actually was the goal step?
Speaker 8: Because I think with TikTok.
Speaker 7: And seventy five hard and everyone being like, I just
Speaker 7: did no spend and like I've seen a lot of
Speaker 7: stuff recently now that cash stuffing is back, I just
Speaker 7: didn't no spend and like they've got all the physical
Speaker 7: cash there. Yeah, And often when we make those big
Speaker 7: grand promises, we're just trying to absolve an immediate anxiety,
Speaker 7: like oh my god, I'm going to do that too,
Speaker 7: because you're feeling there's a feeling about something else and
Speaker 7: having that sort of future goal where you don't really
Speaker 7: have to do anything right now, but you've made a
Speaker 7: promise to yourself. It takes away that immediate feeling. But
Speaker 7: usually that's what the goal is. Whereas, yeah, if you
Speaker 7: go what actually was the goal, often we go, well,
Speaker 7: don't actually know everyone on TikTok was doing one, Like
Speaker 7: was it to save two hundred dollars? Could you still
Speaker 7: save two hundred dollars and have the dress and the
Speaker 7: brunch and the whatever, Like maybe you did achieve the
Speaker 7: goal after all.
Speaker 6: Yeah, And if that comparison culture thing, I think we
Speaker 6: see so many people sharing again their highlights on social
Speaker 6: media or whatever it is. You don't see the five
Speaker 6: times that they tried something and it didn't work before
Speaker 6: they complete it. You don't see the days that they
Speaker 6: skipped the seventy five hard or the days that they
Speaker 6: were miserable because they were I don't know, I don't
Speaker 6: really you know, they're walking at eleven o'clock at night
Speaker 6: because they're like, I've got to close my rings or
Speaker 6: I've got to do whatever it is. Yeah, we're comparing
Speaker 6: potentially to other people's successes but your success can look
Speaker 6: totally different, and maybe that does just look like this month,
Speaker 6: instead of spending one thousand dollars on random things, you
Speaker 6: only spent on three things. And that's an improvement and
Speaker 6: that's huge. Like that's a movement towards changing a habit
Speaker 6: rather than just a snap period that you then relapse
Speaker 6: into afterwards because you've deprived yourself of something and then
Speaker 6: when it's over, you blow out and you buy everything
Speaker 6: that you've been waiting to buy the last month.
Speaker 2: Yeah, exactly.
Speaker 4: I also think like, first of all, if you look
Speaker 4: back at every other month, if you only impulse sport
Speaker 4: three times, like, is this like actually quite an improvement
Speaker 4: in comparison to every other month, you know what I mean?
Speaker 2: But also, you know that thing where.
Speaker 4: You're like, I'm going to go on a diet tomorrow,
Speaker 4: or like, you know, I really hate die culture. Let's say,
Speaker 4: for example, I don't want to buy a muffin with
Speaker 4: my coffee every single morning anymore. And then the next
Speaker 4: day and for the rest of your life, the thing
Speaker 4: that consumes your mind, body, and soul is that muffin
Speaker 4: every single morning.
Speaker 2: Because you're not allowed it anymore.
Speaker 4: You've deprived yourself of that you're putting a hard band
Speaker 4: on that instead of being like I'm just gonna do this,
Speaker 4: you know, a couple of days a week or whatever,
Speaker 4: that looks like just putting such a hard ban and
Speaker 4: like going cold turkey on anything, like you won't even realize,
Speaker 4: but it all start to consume me, like, oh, that's right,
Speaker 4: I forgot I'm not allowed to spend any money, and
Speaker 4: that's all you'll think about, you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: So I feel like it's a really hard way to
Speaker 2: do that.
Speaker 4: Sometimes it does work for people, and that's like really
Speaker 4: really cool, but I find that like a lot of
Speaker 4: the time, if you're not thinking about something and then
Speaker 4: you put a band on that thing that you're not
Speaker 4: really even thinking about, then it's all you're going to
Speaker 4: think about. So to slip up and I use that
Speaker 4: in quotation marks, like slip up in three times in
Speaker 4: a month, that's really really cool, Like the amount of
Speaker 4: times I've impulse purchased literally just this morning, it's probably
Speaker 4: at least three times.
Speaker 2: So three times in twenty days.
Speaker 4: Because I know you said you're at your twenty day
Speaker 4: mark now, like that's you know, congratulations.
Speaker 2: Personally, I'm like, good for you.
Speaker 4: But anyway, like what you guys are saying before about habits,
Speaker 4: I've been reading.
Speaker 2: This book at Tomic Habits. Have you guys heard of
Speaker 2: this one?
Speaker 6: Yes?
Speaker 4: Incredible, So you got to, like, I think that a
Speaker 4: lot of people focus too much on the goal without
Speaker 4: like getting and this is you know, all in the
Speaker 4: author's words, getting your like systems in place is basically
Speaker 4: exactly what you guys were saying. Just like, if you
Speaker 4: have a goal, you must figure out how the heck
Speaker 4: you're going to get there and set it in such
Speaker 4: like crazy detail. Just be like, you know, it's not
Speaker 4: even I'm going to do this and this and this
Speaker 4: to reach my goal. It's like at seven oh one
Speaker 4: am when I wake up, I am going to you
Speaker 4: know what I mean, just like look at every single
Speaker 4: thing and break it all the way down and then yeah,
Speaker 4: but you're also looking at the motivations behind those goals.
Speaker 4: Is also very helpful, so you'll get there. Just don't
Speaker 4: beat yourself up. You're doing a great job.
Speaker 5: Absolutely what everyone else say.
Speaker 4: See what the community had to say. So we asked
Speaker 4: have you done a no spend month before? Twenty two
Speaker 4: percent of you said yes, and seventy eight percent.
Speaker 2: Of you said no.
Speaker 4: Interesting, and then we asked, if yes, what were the
Speaker 4: guidelines for the month. One of you said, I still
Speaker 4: made it aligned with my values, so it could only
Speaker 4: spend on replacement clothes slash shoes, slash planned events, et cetera.
Speaker 4: And then someone said no unnecessary purchases for the month.
Speaker 4: Someone else said, I banned myself from food delivery services eg.
Speaker 2: Uber eats. That's how to do.
Speaker 5: I feel like that's a popular one.
Speaker 2: That's a cure one.
Speaker 4: A few people kind of like we're in the same
Speaker 4: boat where they were just like no one thing or
Speaker 4: no the other thing.
Speaker 6: You know.
Speaker 4: It wasn't like a full ban on necessarily not spending
Speaker 4: on anything but essentials, but yeah, I think that's the
Speaker 4: general gist. And then we said, was your no spend
Speaker 4: month successful? Forty four percent of you said yes. I
Speaker 4: was so proud of myself. Good for you guys. That's
Speaker 4: so impressive and very very hard to do. So fifty
Speaker 4: six percent of you said no, I think I set
Speaker 4: two strict rules for myself.
Speaker 6: Question because success is such a subjective exactly, because how
Speaker 6: many you know of those responders, and obviously we can
Speaker 6: only ask you so many questions in a poll on
Speaker 6: a story, But you know how many of those people
Speaker 6: made it improvement because I would deem that, you know,
Speaker 6: a big success or how many of those people learned something,
Speaker 6: because again I would consider that a success. Even if
Speaker 6: you didn't necessarily achieve the outcome that you set out
Speaker 6: with at the beginning of I'm not buying X y Z,
Speaker 6: having those learnings, have those starter points, is still putting
Speaker 6: you further ahead than you were when you started, which
Speaker 6: in my mind, that is what success is.
Speaker 7: Yes, yeah, so true, which kind of reframes the whole point, right,
Speaker 7: as in, like, it's not just a month, it's it's
Speaker 7: actually way beyond that.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 7: And like I'm a huge fan of a margin for error.
Speaker 7: So if this person the original dilemma had had a
Speaker 7: margin for error of three things, suddenly that failure is
Speaker 7: actually a success.
Speaker 4: Yes, yes, I agree. Also, in the book Topic Habits,
Speaker 4: they say you need just over fifty percent to like
Speaker 4: path of vo to be like President of America whatever.
Speaker 2: So orm's laters.
Speaker 4: If you're gonna you know, and I still say this
Speaker 4: in quotes, if you're gonna slip up, just do it.
Speaker 2: No more than fifty percent of the time.
Speaker 4: And then we asked if the month wasn't successful, what
Speaker 4: did you spend money on that you weren't meant to.
Speaker 4: Someone said, I made one purchase of a Monopoly board
Speaker 4: game for the family as was on sale.
Speaker 2: Fair enough, you got it, it was on sale.
Speaker 4: Someone said food, another said socializing, and another said coffee
Speaker 4: and takeaways. I feel like these are things that we
Speaker 4: encounter so often, so it really is hard to kind
Speaker 4: of put a band on those, like food, coffee, takeaways, socializing,
Speaker 4: you know, fair enough, those are very very hard things
Speaker 4: to avoid. And then we said tell us your two cents.
Speaker 4: So one person said, be kind to yourself. You can
Speaker 4: always try again. That's so true.
Speaker 2: I love that.
Speaker 4: Another said, read the book Good with Money from Emma Edwards.
Speaker 2: That wasn't me by that one came from Emma Edwards.
Speaker 8: Trolling me.
Speaker 4: Definitely, it genuinely was not from Emma. But that is
Speaker 4: an incredible tip. You prove that that wasn't from Emma
Speaker 4: and just take my word for it. Another said, go
Speaker 4: easy in yourself. No spend months are super restrictive and
Speaker 4: can be hard to maintain. Absolutely.
Speaker 2: Another said, don't be upset with yourself. Try again.
Speaker 4: Next month and see if you can beat those three purchases.
Speaker 4: Another said a month would feel too long, and that's
Speaker 4: where I'd fall down auto transfer and spend what's left.
Speaker 4: H We do you love an auto transfer in the town,
Speaker 4: which absolutely, but that doesn't usually with me. I go
Speaker 4: into the account that that auto transfer give us some
Speaker 4: of that back. And then another said maybe picking one
Speaker 4: category for a no spend month would help instead of
Speaker 4: going all or nothing, which is kind of what we
Speaker 4: were saying before. So I really really like that. These
Speaker 4: are all great suggestions. I think, Yeah, just go back
Speaker 4: to the drawing board. Try not to be too harsh
Speaker 4: on yourself. Honestly, you've done a great job just spending
Speaker 4: only three times in you know, twenty days, So good
Speaker 4: for you.
Speaker 2: I think it's a pretty good place to leave it.
Speaker 5: One hundred percent. Thank you so much for joining us,
Speaker 5: em Ike.
Speaker 6: If people want to find you or the wonderful and
Speaker 6: highly recommended book Good with Money, where can they find you?
Speaker 7: Loved why She's on the Money, You can find me
Speaker 7: at the dot Broke Generation on Instagram and occasionally TikTok,
Speaker 7: and my book Good with Money is bright yellow in
Speaker 7: most bookstores, you won't miss it or you can.
Speaker 8: Get it on all the majors Amazon, Booktopia, after Books, etc.
Speaker 6: Incredible. Thank you so much for joining us. We had
Speaker 6: the best time and it was really fun to dive
Speaker 6: a little bit more into the psychology side of things.
Speaker 8: Thank you for having me.
Speaker 4: Thank you so much. All Right, guys, Victoria, We'll see
Speaker 4: you on Monday, Brighton early. Have a lovely weekend.
Speaker 9: The advice shared on She's on the Money is generally
Speaker 9: nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on
Speaker 9: the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not
Speaker 9: be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.
Speaker 9: If you do choose to buy a financial product, read
Speaker 9: the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards
Speaker 9: your needs. Victoria, Divine and She's on the Money are
Speaker 9: authorized representatives of Money. Sheper Pty Ltd a BN three
Speaker 9: two one six four nine two seven seven zero eight
Speaker 9: AFSL four five one two eight nine