Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
Speaker 1: the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Speaker 2: Let's get into it. She's on the Money. She's on
Speaker 2: the Money.
Speaker 3: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast
Speaker 3: for millennials who want financial freedom. Today's Friday, which means
Speaker 3: it is time to get the team together and celebrate
Speaker 3: you how incredible She's on the Money community. Today, we're
Speaker 3: going to be sharing our favorite money wins. We're going
Speaker 3: to talk about International Women's Day. We're also going to
Speaker 3: be helping to answer a juicy money dilemma, which this
Speaker 3: week is all about how to set yourself up financially
Speaker 3: for a divorce. And we're going to unpack something for
Speaker 3: slid into my dams, then made it to my TikTok,
Speaker 3: made it to the Instagram reels, which this week is
Speaker 3: all about bridesmaids and who should be paying for what?
Speaker 3: But before we get there, miss Jessica Ricci, what are
Speaker 3: you most excited about this week International Women's Day?
Speaker 2: Are you actually excited?
Speaker 4: I'm so excited because people don't realize I think how
Speaker 4: long it takes us to work on something right. For
Speaker 4: the background, We've been playing for this twelve months, literally
Speaker 4: since International Women'sday last year finished.
Speaker 3: It's so bad, like it's all we talk about in
Speaker 3: the background.
Speaker 2: But I'm so excited about it, I know.
Speaker 4: And this week we announced all of the guests for
Speaker 4: all four of the cities, which we have been absolutely
Speaker 4: dying to share with every.
Speaker 3: For cities, which is absolutely wild And I'm genuinely so
Speaker 3: excited because, as you said before, we do so much
Speaker 3: planning in the background to make the most of IWD,
Speaker 3: and I feel like we did a pretty good job
Speaker 3: of it last year. But guess what, we only did
Speaker 3: that in three months. Now We've got twelve months as
Speaker 3: a lead time, so pressures on for the team. It
Speaker 3: has to be bigger, it has to be better and
Speaker 3: we couldn't be more grateful because our friends and the
Speaker 3: incredible team at Chasea's this year are helping us bring
Speaker 3: it to life. As you guys know, we have doubled
Speaker 3: the number of cities we're able to visit this year,
Speaker 3: so we'll be heading to Melbourne City, Brisbane and Perth.
Speaker 2: And given the event is.
Speaker 3: All about celebrating and empowering women, we are so proud
Speaker 3: to be able to work with partners like Chasea's who
Speaker 3: genuinely embody the same values as She's on the money.
Speaker 3: And guess what we've got our fingers crossed because a
Speaker 3: little bird told me Jessica, one of their powerhouse CEOs
Speaker 3: Brook Roberts, might just be joining us for the events.
Speaker 4: I'm so excited. She's the coolest person ever. You've hung
Speaker 4: out with her quite a bit. I am obsessed with her.
Speaker 4: Guess what had to hang out with her? And just
Speaker 4: Cinda r Dern in the same.
Speaker 3: Room, like Mike drop dream that you look really excited,
Speaker 3: so excited you just threw your hands in the air
Speaker 3: when silent I did.
Speaker 5: I didn't know ifel was laud to talk yet, Hello everybody,
Speaker 5: and that.
Speaker 2: Sounds so exciting.
Speaker 3: Is actually so exciting I get to go to Perth, Like,
Speaker 3: how wild is that? I remember last year when we
Speaker 3: were planning it, Jess, We're talking about where we could
Speaker 3: go and what that would look like, and we just
Speaker 3: did Melbourne and Sydney because that was like for us
Speaker 3: the easiest because I operated out of Sydney a lot.
Speaker 2: And I was like, I know it.
Speaker 3: They're like, you know it was pushing the budget. I
Speaker 3: said to the girls. I was like, oh, I'll probably
Speaker 3: be a few years before we're able to get all
Speaker 3: the way over to Perth, like your build will build.
Speaker 3: Guess where we're going this year? Perth?
Speaker 2: That is wild to me and person being kicking off
Speaker 2: for it. You guys had the highest ticket sale, not.
Speaker 4: That it's a competition, is leaning the way, which is
Speaker 4: really really cool. West super pumped to get out there.
Speaker 4: What are you most excited for back, I'm really excited.
Speaker 2: To actually leave Melbourne. This is so exciting. May just
Speaker 2: hear through the free ticks. I really am.
Speaker 5: And I don't know if it's obvious yet, but I
Speaker 5: have obviously no financial knowledge, so I really am here
Speaker 5: for the travel path.
Speaker 3: Yeah, and you're a woman and you want to be empowered.
Speaker 3: I do want to be empowered and experience. Speaking of
Speaker 3: empowered women, miss JESSICRICI, can you take us through our
Speaker 3: community money wins this week?
Speaker 4: Absolutely, I can. I've got some really good ones for
Speaker 4: you this week, guys. My first one comes from Lauren
Speaker 4: who said another money win, which is actually a fortnightly win,
Speaker 4: is using funky food to.
Speaker 2: Buy our veggies. It's Ony Food.
Speaker 4: I pick this win because I loved the name. It's
Speaker 4: forty two dollars for the box and it has expensive
Speaker 4: stuff like ginger and garlic. I also share the extras
Speaker 4: I get with my in laws. It's for the Brisbane
Speaker 4: area only, but it saves us money and it means
Speaker 4: we don't buy extra fruit or vege except for maybe
Speaker 4: stuff like lemon. So I think it's a box where
Speaker 4: you get the like mismatched fruit. You know, you sometimes
Speaker 4: get the ugly food. So it's like a box of
Speaker 4: that that stuff that maybe the supermarkets wouldn't take because
Speaker 4: it's not esthetically pleasing, but it's still delicious and that's
Speaker 4: what its for box.
Speaker 5: How good is that?
Speaker 1: Yeah?
Speaker 5: And you'll probably get the in there that you'd never
Speaker 5: think to even buy. It like a custard apple or
Speaker 5: something like that.
Speaker 2: I love cust apples. Actually, what is it. I've never
Speaker 2: actually bought one. It's an apple that tastes like custard.
Speaker 2: They're kind of texturally sort of like a peach, like
Speaker 2: a peach. Yeah, this is where I thought this was.
Speaker 2: I thought it was.
Speaker 4: Actually I thought costed apples or the soft ones, aren't they?
Speaker 2: I think they are?
Speaker 4: Yeah, so like kind of I maybe I'm anyway maybe right.
Speaker 2: Along when hold on, no, no, we going back to this.
Speaker 3: When you said funky fruit, I was like, oh, is
Speaker 3: it like a little bit off? But then I remember
Speaker 3: then recently I have been buying the odd bunch so
Speaker 3: at the supermarket they do like these big bags of
Speaker 3: limes and stuff, and they're like eight bucks. And it's
Speaker 3: actually so much more cost efficient to be buying the
Speaker 3: odd bunch of things because they don't look one hundred
Speaker 3: percent right, but they are like they might just have
Speaker 3: a mark, or they might just be all lumped together.
Speaker 2: And I don't mind. I'm just putting one and.
Speaker 4: Tea over here so they don't squish it anyway. Tastes
Speaker 4: delicious no matter what shape it is. The next win
Speaker 4: that I have comes from Dosy Dosy, who said I
Speaker 4: wanted to buy the first she's on the money book
Speaker 4: and I finally decided to buy and I only paid nine.
Speaker 2: Dollars nine dollars.
Speaker 4: I used my ten dollars fly buyers dollars to pay
Speaker 4: for the remaining amount. Money Win is I have not
Speaker 4: only saved money, but I'm going to kick my money
Speaker 4: goals in twenty twenty three.
Speaker 3: Yes, you absolutely are. I love that win very wholesome.
Speaker 4: Next one is from Kayler, who said money Win, I've
Speaker 4: made the decisions stop getting my nails done professionally. I
Speaker 4: love getting my nails done and it has been thirteen
Speaker 4: hundred dollars per annum for the past eight years. Wow,
Speaker 4: quick maths on that.
Speaker 3: Anybody that's over ten thousand dollars, Yeah, that's a lot
Speaker 3: of money.
Speaker 2: That is a lot of money.
Speaker 3: We've been doing our nails from home for a while now,
Speaker 3: and you're pretty good at it.
Speaker 4: Don't look at my one finger, no polish on it
Speaker 4: right now. But it does save so much money. And
Speaker 4: Kayla said, I was influenced to purchase a nail kit
Speaker 4: on Instagram during the Black Friday sales. It was around
Speaker 4: two hundred dollars and it claims to give you around
Speaker 4: forty cents averaging at five dollars percent. So every year
Speaker 4: I'm going to save one thy two hundred and fifty dollars.
Speaker 2: See that's really good.
Speaker 3: And I really like actually doing my nails now I've
Speaker 3: gotten into the groove of it. It's like a really
Speaker 3: nice self care activity that I do in front of
Speaker 3: the TV.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 3: Yes, it does take me much longer than it does.
Speaker 3: It is so satisfying clipping your own cuticles.
Speaker 4: And you can buy cute stickers if you're not very
Speaker 4: good at nail art, because that's me, Like, I'm not
Speaker 4: doing fancy things. We're just painting the polish on. You
Speaker 4: can buy stickers and then it looks like you did
Speaker 4: a good job when really we just stuck.
Speaker 3: It on the amount of people to compliment me or
Speaker 3: my nail stickers, they're like love yourn mail art, and
Speaker 3: I just smile and nod taking that credit.
Speaker 4: Next win that I have comes from it, Debbie, she said,
Speaker 4: tiny unexpected money win. I started my application for a
Speaker 4: new passport a month ago. I went to the post
Speaker 4: office today, the last day before the application expired, to
Speaker 4: finish off the process. Passport fees actually have increased since
Speaker 4: the first of January.
Speaker 3: What hasn't increased since the first of January cost of.
Speaker 4: Living or cozy living cozy something I heard someone called
Speaker 4: on TikTok cozy living.
Speaker 2: Yeah rough, because I'm millennial.
Speaker 4: I know, Debbie said, But because I started the application
Speaker 4: last year, I still pay the old feed.
Speaker 2: Oh money win.
Speaker 4: So that's big win. And anyone who's look at getting
Speaker 4: a passport.
Speaker 2: Should have done that last year.
Speaker 4: Literally last week that I have today comes from Karen,
Speaker 4: who said, I've been paying an amount fortnightly towards my utilities,
Speaker 4: and I got the best charged this month. It was
Speaker 4: only eight dollars and twenty four cents.
Speaker 2: Hey you because she broke the cost down.
Speaker 4: She's just been paying it off over time, and then
Speaker 4: all she had left to pay was eight bucks.
Speaker 2: Money win.
Speaker 3: I love that, and I loved all of those money wins.
Speaker 3: Let's go to a quick break. But on the other
Speaker 3: side of the break, we're going to talk about how
Speaker 3: to set yourself up financially for a divorce. We're also
Speaker 3: going to be talking about the spicy topic of who
Speaker 3: should be paying fore bridesmaid's dresses. So don't go anywhere, guys,
Speaker 3: it's going to be a good one.
Speaker 4: Welcome back everybody. I feel like we all know what
Speaker 4: it's time for money dilemma.
Speaker 2: Let's get into it.
Speaker 3: Hi, there, have you got a money dilemma you just
Speaker 3: can't solve? The She's on the Money team is here
Speaker 3: to help. Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big
Speaker 3: and small, to answer your most burning money, career and
Speaker 3: life questions. To get involved, simply head to our website
Speaker 3: and leave us a short voice recording and you might
Speaker 3: just find yourself on the show. Now, let's take a
Speaker 3: listen to this week's money dilemma.
Speaker 6: Hi, my name is Tina, and I am wondering about
Speaker 6: how do you financially go about setting yourself up after
Speaker 6: separation and divorce, Like pay your bills, pay the rents
Speaker 6: for yourself? How you do that by yourself? Again, Like,
Speaker 6: how do you get in the mindset of like being
Speaker 6: financially independent from miss spouse's income.
Speaker 3: I feel like this one is something that we don't
Speaker 3: talk about enough. We always talk about preparing to go
Speaker 3: into a divorce. We always talk about, you know, having
Speaker 3: an emergency fund and making sure it's there. But life
Speaker 3: changes so significantly when you go from having a double
Speaker 3: income and you and your partner are paying for things
Speaker 3: to it all being on your shoulders and all being
Speaker 3: your responsibility, And I think that that actually does require
Speaker 3: a completely different setup. I do think you need to
Speaker 3: kind of wipe the budget clean, per se and then
Speaker 3: go back to the drawing board, because money just doesn't
Speaker 3: come out of nowhere when you go through a divorce,
Speaker 3: like you actually have to find it and budget for it,
Speaker 3: and things that you could previously afford unfortunately might become
Speaker 3: a little bit of a luxury, especially in the first
Speaker 3: twelve months while you're finding your feet. Jess, how would
Speaker 3: you deal if you went down to one income all
Speaker 3: of a sudden.
Speaker 4: I feel like it's a really big lifestyle shift, kind
Speaker 4: of on two fronts. Like you're obviously adjusting to living
Speaker 4: your life without this person who theoretically you've been really
Speaker 4: heavily intertwined with for however long you know, maybe you
Speaker 4: have kids, or you have pets, or you had a house,
Speaker 4: or on some level you have shared responsibilities. But then
Speaker 4: also you have double the income, or you have two
Speaker 4: streams of income at least, and now you're going down
Speaker 4: to one, So it means that you're probably going to
Speaker 4: be grappling with. Firstly, I guess all of the emotional
Speaker 4: stuff that comes with a divorce, which I don't want
Speaker 4: to gloss over too quickly because I think it is
Speaker 4: just as impactful to somebody as the financial side of things.
Speaker 4: But then you're also having to adjust to the facts
Speaker 4: that maybe you can't afford to get your nails done
Speaker 4: every couple of weeks now, or maybe you can't afford
Speaker 4: to go on a holiday every year now because before,
Speaker 4: when you had those two incomes, you had more room,
Speaker 4: whereas now that it's just you and I believe our
Speaker 4: listener said she.
Speaker 2: Had kids, Yeah, it's hard.
Speaker 4: That's a lot of responsibility on your shoulders. And I
Speaker 4: mean we don't know the semantics of her. Is their
Speaker 4: child support or is their SHEHD custody? You know, all
Speaker 4: of those things are going to those factor in. But
Speaker 4: I feel like, as you said, starting from scratch and
Speaker 4: going what have I got coming in and just focusing
Speaker 4: on what you're doing rather than what you're now X
Speaker 4: may or may not be contributing, is probably helpful because
Speaker 4: I feel like you can only focus on the factors
Speaker 4: that you can control, right, Yeah, And.
Speaker 3: It can be really stressful because, as you said before,
Speaker 3: it's a lifestyle shift as much as it's a you know,
Speaker 3: something that you've got to get used to. It's not
Speaker 3: just an increase in bills. It's like, well, where is
Speaker 3: that double going to come from? What do you reckon?
Speaker 3: What if you broke up with a partner, how would
Speaker 3: you deal with doubling the expenses? Where would you begin?
Speaker 4: Oh?
Speaker 5: God, I don't even know. I know that, like, as
Speaker 5: someone who is living in a single income household, I
Speaker 5: kind of just know already that I probably won't be
Speaker 5: able to afford to buy a house in the future
Speaker 5: or buy an apartment, like maybe I could, but it
Speaker 5: just seems a lot more hard and so far out
Speaker 5: of my reach. So I feel like if I wasn't
Speaker 5: a place where I was living with someone we had
Speaker 5: shared expenses to incomes, and then we separated, I feel
Speaker 5: like now I'm fully equipped for that kind of lifestyle.
Speaker 5: But then again, I don't know what it's like to
Speaker 5: have children have these shared responsibilities and have I don't know,
Speaker 5: maybe they like own a house or rent a large
Speaker 5: house together.
Speaker 2: That would just be so difficult. Where do you even
Speaker 2: start to untangle that?
Speaker 4: You know?
Speaker 3: I also think it's a little bit about goal resetting
Speaker 3: as well, because you know, before you said beck like
Speaker 3: at this point in my life, like, I'm not sure
Speaker 3: buying a property makes sense to me. But if you
Speaker 3: found a partner and then you guys go, oh, well,
Speaker 3: actually we can now afford it, and you're working towards
Speaker 3: this goal and you fall in love with this goal
Speaker 3: and get so excited about it, then you don't have
Speaker 3: a partner anymore. That reality shift is also a lot
Speaker 3: to swallow, I think, and I don't think we talk about,
Speaker 3: you know, the disappointment of not having your expected reality happen,
Speaker 3: even if it hadn't happened already, like you might not
Speaker 3: have bought the house, but you were working towards it.
Speaker 3: Now you only have half the savings and it's actually
Speaker 3: not a reality in the future for you. I think
Speaker 3: often that can be really disappointing, and we take that
Speaker 3: on ourselves a lot, and we just assume our wholes
Speaker 3: because I'm not good enough or I don't earn enough,
Speaker 3: or I don't do that, and it's like, no, it's
Speaker 3: twenty twenty three. It's got nothing to do with been
Speaker 3: good enough for working hard enough. The world is going
Speaker 3: absolutely crazy. And I've great a statistic the other day
Speaker 3: that said the median house price today in Melbourne, which
Speaker 3: is where we all are right now today is twenty
Speaker 3: one times what it was in nineteen eighty one, and
Speaker 3: wages have only gone up six times.
Speaker 2: I feel like that puts it in.
Speaker 3: Perspective as to how unobtainable property has now become. And
Speaker 3: it's something that you know, if you then have a
Speaker 3: duel income and you've worked towards it, like that would
Speaker 3: be heartbreaking to lose because I think that you get
Speaker 3: to a point in your I don't want to say career,
Speaker 3: but you get to a point in your life where
Speaker 3: if you've saved enough and property is on the vision
Speaker 3: board and it is something that you're going to achieve
Speaker 3: to then have that knocked oubt you kind of go.
Speaker 2: No, no, no, it's still going to happen.
Speaker 3: I'm going to make it happen, and it might not
Speaker 3: actually be the best financial decision ever, which is why
Speaker 3: I think going back to the drawing board and going
Speaker 3: well before, like what you said, just what do I
Speaker 3: have coming in? What do I have to you know,
Speaker 3: have going out? And where can I start? Because we
Speaker 3: can earn more income, you could create a side hustle,
Speaker 3: you could get a different job, But all of those
Speaker 3: things are really dependent on whether it's actually appropriate for
Speaker 3: you to do that or even accessible for you to
Speaker 3: do that with small kids. So I just feel like
Speaker 3: the best advice was actually what you said, Jess, and
Speaker 3: that's just going back to the absolute basics.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And the other thing i'd maybe encourage beck you
Speaker 4: said before, you feel like you would be really equipped
Speaker 4: to live that way because that's your current reality, but
Speaker 4: maybe that's not the case for someone. Kind of going
Speaker 4: back there, I would really encourage our community member to
Speaker 4: rely on the resources around her, like talk to your friends,
Speaker 4: like we're a great resource, and I'm so happy that
Speaker 4: you wrote into us because we're here to support you
Speaker 4: one hundred percent. But talk to your friends. Be honest
Speaker 4: with your friends around your financial situation. If you can't
Speaker 4: afford to go to dinner, tell them that. I think
Speaker 4: there's a lot of shame that people unintentionally carry around
Speaker 4: lifestyle change and around not feeling like they have a
Speaker 4: lot of money. And I think the people around you
Speaker 4: love you, and I know that it can be hard
Speaker 4: to see if you're going through a time like this,
Speaker 4: but be.
Speaker 2: Honest with them.
Speaker 4: They're there to help you, they're there to support you,
Speaker 4: and I feel like it's a really great resource to
Speaker 4: have that you can rely on if you need it.
Speaker 5: Just before we move on, I do want to acknowledge
Speaker 5: that some people may be in a position, potentially this
Speaker 5: listener where she didn't have any you know, goals like
Speaker 5: buying a house, or she never actually went to go
Speaker 5: get her nails done, or already was at a point
Speaker 5: where there are people out there who are already at
Speaker 5: a point where they are at the basics, just living
Speaker 5: their day to day life, just not splurging on anything.
Speaker 5: So kind of taking the advice of going back to
Speaker 5: the basics might not be super useful or even accessible
Speaker 5: for some people because they might already be there and
Speaker 5: then to have that income cut in half would just
Speaker 5: be like such a struggle. So I guess in that instance,
Speaker 5: just taking advantage of the resources that you have available
Speaker 5: to you know, like send the link or government resources.
Speaker 3: That chat to them, chat to them, so nice.
Speaker 5: Exactly, there are things out there to help you.
Speaker 3: Another great resource we talk about all the time on
Speaker 3: She's on the Money is the National Debt Help Line,
Speaker 3: and we love them. You don't have to be in
Speaker 3: significant debt to talk to them. They have a whole
Speaker 3: heap of really beautiful financial counselors who can actually help
Speaker 3: you on your journey. But yeah, that's a really good
Speaker 3: call out and one that absolutely is appreciated in this space.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Beck, Thank you.
Speaker 3: All Right now, we're going to move on to what
Speaker 3: I think is a relatively spicy topic. And given the
Speaker 3: engagement I've gotten over the last week on my TikTok
Speaker 3: and on my Instagram related to this and Jess the
Speaker 3: hate messages I've come from brides who are real salty
Speaker 3: at me, I think this is a really good place
Speaker 3: to land. Usually would read out, you know a little
Speaker 3: bit of a community concern or a dilemma here, and
Speaker 3: like address it as a team and bring to the
Speaker 3: tablesome community responses. But this week I uploaded a TikTok
Speaker 3: and it kind of went a little bit crazy. So
Speaker 3: just drop it here so you guys can all catch
Speaker 3: up and be on the same page. Controversial opinion from
Speaker 3: me as somebody who has just gotten married. I genuinely
Speaker 3: think that if you're getting married, you shouldn't be making
Speaker 3: the bridesmaids pay for their own dress, their own hair,
Speaker 3: their own makeup, or any expenses. From my perspective, if
Speaker 3: you've got a bridesmaid and you want a bridesmaid in
Speaker 3: your wedding, I think that's your cost, not somebody else's cost.
Speaker 3: To factor into their budget when they have bigger goals
Speaker 3: and values and aspirations to achieve.
Speaker 2: It sounds privileged.
Speaker 3: But if you can't afford to have ten bridesmaids, don't
Speaker 3: have ten bridesmaids.
Speaker 2: All right, So T or DR.
Speaker 3: I clearly don't believe that bridesmaids should be paying for
Speaker 3: their own dresses.
Speaker 2: Beck, if you're in a wedding, would.
Speaker 3: You expect the bride to be paying for the dress
Speaker 3: or are you going to front up that cost?
Speaker 5: Luckily I've never been in this situation before, so but
Speaker 5: I would say if I were to be a bridesmaid,
Speaker 5: I would not be in any financial position to be
Speaker 5: able to afford a several hundred dollars dress. So I
Speaker 5: would hope that the bride would be definitely buying that
Speaker 5: one for me.
Speaker 2: Yeah, one hundred percent.
Speaker 3: I just you know, I won't harp on about it
Speaker 3: because I clearly have it already. But I just cannot
Speaker 3: comprehend that I would go my goal is now your
Speaker 3: financial responsibility.
Speaker 2: That blows my mind. Jess, what are your thoughts.
Speaker 4: It's such like a catch twenty two because I think
Speaker 4: the norm over the past, however long, has definitely been
Speaker 4: that the bride'smaid wears that cost.
Speaker 2: I guess it's up for debate.
Speaker 4: If you're expecting your bride's maids to wear thousand dollar
Speaker 4: designer dresses and really extensive designer shoes and you need
Speaker 4: them to get their hair done and their makeup done
Speaker 4: like that to me is ludicrous. I do think I
Speaker 4: have seen people do it in the past much more conservatively,
Speaker 4: so like you don't have to have your hair or
Speaker 4: makeup done professionally to be in a well of course,
Speaker 4: you know, so taking that expense off the table, is
Speaker 4: there something in their closet that fits the color palette
Speaker 4: of your wedding that they could wear, or you know,
Speaker 4: if you have a color palette, is there something that
Speaker 4: they would be comfortable buying at their price points? You can,
Speaker 4: I guess, do it in a way where it's not
Speaker 4: as extreme. But I do think it's ludicrous to put
Speaker 4: the expectation on people that they have to invest hundreds
Speaker 4: of dollars to be in your wedding. The only other
Speaker 4: thing I guess you could do to kind of negate
Speaker 4: the cost is if you were having them buy address
Speaker 4: at a more affordable price point. If I was the bride,
Speaker 4: I guess I would be saying, well, that's your wedding
Speaker 4: gift to me, Like I wouldn't expect anything else a
Speaker 4: source of course, But yeah, like I think as things
Speaker 4: get bigger and bigger and people become more extravagant, it's
Speaker 4: ridiculous to expect people to invest in a day that's
Speaker 4: not about them, you know.
Speaker 2: It's about you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And having just gotten married. The idea that I
Speaker 3: would ask my bridesmaids one of you know, contextualizing it.
Speaker 2: I've got my little sister.
Speaker 3: Can't imagine asking her to buy anything because she's my
Speaker 3: little sister. I had a bridesmaid that traveled internationally. Can't
Speaker 3: imagine asking her to also front up any type of cost.
Speaker 3: I already felt bad that she was willing to, you know,
Speaker 3: spend on international flights. And then my other best friend
Speaker 3: who had just had a baby and bought a new house,
Speaker 3: Like I cannot comprehend asking them to front up for
Speaker 3: my financial goal or the wedding of my dreams, because
Speaker 3: it's not their responsibility. A good friend, thank you, thank you,
Speaker 3: but I just don't think it should take a good friend.
Speaker 3: And the comments from online I found really interesting as well,
Speaker 3: because on TikTok they're very international, so lots were coming
Speaker 3: from Europe and they're like, what are you talking about?
Speaker 3: Bridesmaids never pay for their own dresses. Comments from America
Speaker 3: are like, what do you mean I could never pay
Speaker 3: for twelve bridesmaids dress?
Speaker 2: I say down, I don't even have that many friends.
Speaker 3: And then it seems to be in Australia a little
Speaker 3: bit of a mix between bride's paying and then bride's
Speaker 3: maids paying, and I just I think we need to
Speaker 3: be talking about this a little bit more openly and honestly,
Speaker 3: because I think the wedding industry is all about like
Speaker 3: the glitz and the clamor and making it look beautiful
Speaker 3: and there's these massive expectations, but like behind it is money,
Speaker 3: and money is stressful, and money is not something that
Speaker 3: absolutely everybody has access to, especially if you're budgeting or
Speaker 3: you're a UNI student, and it just blows my mind.
Speaker 3: So I thought what we could do is go through
Speaker 3: a couple of the comments that happened on my TikTok,
Speaker 3: and you guys can tell me what you think. Yes, please,
Speaker 3: so someone or my I'm not going to read out
Speaker 3: names because I don't want to name names. But someone
Speaker 3: said I forked out over two thousand dollars everything for
Speaker 3: an ex friend's wedding. Never again.
Speaker 2: That's the other thing.
Speaker 4: What happens if you're like the maid of honor and
Speaker 4: then in three years time you're not friends anymore.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, it's so bad, so bad, two thousand dollars.
Speaker 4: True, grand I just say no, like I actually, like
Speaker 4: if someone turned around to me and said I need you,
Speaker 4: I just say I'm so sorry I can't be your
Speaker 4: brides back.
Speaker 2: That's absurd, I agree.
Speaker 3: But then there were comments like this one that said
Speaker 3: I bear the brun of the cost, but I didn't
Speaker 3: want to. I just didn't have the balls to tell
Speaker 3: the bride I couldn't afford it. And I feel like
Speaker 3: it drives a wedge between you and your friend sometimes,
Speaker 3: like if I asked you to be my bridesmaid, obviously,
Speaker 3: like I just want you there. Maybe I haven't thought
Speaker 3: about the financial aspect of it. I want you to
Speaker 3: stand beside me on what is meant to be quote
Speaker 3: and this is not true at all, especially one who's
Speaker 3: gotten married the biggest day of your life. Like I
Speaker 3: get where they're coming from when they ask you, but
Speaker 3: to then say no sorry, Like, I don't think they're
Speaker 3: going to take it that way. So I think this
Speaker 3: is why we really need to crack the shell a
Speaker 3: little bit around these conversations, because it's kind of like
Speaker 3: if you're asking someone to be your bridesmaid. It's kind
Speaker 3: of like inviting somebody out to dinner at a fancy restaurant.
Speaker 3: If I go, oh, hey, Jess, do you want to
Speaker 3: come out to this really fancy restaurant with me? And
Speaker 3: you go yeah, yeah, No worries like is that not
Speaker 3: my responsibility to then pay because I invited you?
Speaker 5: Now that's another topic. Would that be? I don't know
Speaker 5: what I would say to that, but I would say
Speaker 5: split it.
Speaker 3: You would say split it if I invited you to arrest.
Speaker 3: I think it's about expectations and actually having that conversation
Speaker 3: up front, and maybe not making your bridesmaids agree to
Speaker 3: being a bridesmaid before they know all of the expectations
Speaker 3: that are on them, because let's think about the bigger
Speaker 3: expectations on brides hen's parties.
Speaker 2: Yeap, who pays for that? That's a good question. I
Speaker 2: actually don't know who pays for that.
Speaker 3: So a comment that came from one of my girlfriend's
Speaker 3: cat spanty's account, so she took my TikTok put it
Speaker 3: on her Instagram stories.
Speaker 2: They went wild.
Speaker 3: They then replied to her story and said, I'm a
Speaker 3: bridesmaid at a friend's wedding this September and we all
Speaker 3: have to pay for the hens. The maid of honor
Speaker 3: has planned the whole thing, and we are all having
Speaker 3: to pay eight hundred dollars each for the weekend. There
Speaker 3: are five of us. No, that's ridiculous, right, how have.
Speaker 2: Where do you just get that money from? It's insane.
Speaker 2: You paid for your hands.
Speaker 3: I paid for a lot of it, actually, Like I
Speaker 3: ended up paying for the house rental that we had,
Speaker 3: and I ended up getting cash to give to my
Speaker 3: bridesmaids because I felt uncomfortable with the idea that they
Speaker 3: would be footing the cost. I like said to them, look,
Speaker 3: I know this isn't how it usually goes. I think
Speaker 3: people usually pay for it and organize something within their budget.
Speaker 3: But here's you know, tell me what you want to
Speaker 3: do and I'll get it all locked in. Make sure
Speaker 3: that it's not your financial burden. But that's because let's remember,
Speaker 3: I'm she's on the money. Like I feel like all
Speaker 3: I do is think about money and think about other
Speaker 3: people's financial circumstances. So I don't expect everybody to be
Speaker 3: on that same page, right And I'm not saying that
Speaker 3: this is the expectation, but I do absolutely have the
Speaker 3: belief that if you are going to have your wedding,
Speaker 3: and you're going to create a wedding budget, which we
Speaker 3: are releasing very soon, my version of a wedding budget
Speaker 3: in that budget is your bridesmaid's dresses, your bridesmaid's shoes.
Speaker 3: If you expect them to have professional hair and makeup,
Speaker 3: that is your cost. If you have groomsmen, that is
Speaker 3: your cost. And we need to think about these things
Speaker 3: because they add up. They're not just something where you go,
Speaker 3: i'd really like to have dress in my bridal party.
Speaker 2: Yeah, she can pay for that.
Speaker 3: Yeah, But to me, that is wild to think that
Speaker 3: that would then become her burden and her responsibility. So
Speaker 3: I won't go on and on about this, but there
Speaker 3: is another one thing that came up in comments that
Speaker 3: really grinds my gear.
Speaker 2: Are you ready? I'm so ready?
Speaker 4: All right?
Speaker 3: So it's this idea that ah and this is probably
Speaker 3: a little bit spicy, but oh no, no, no, My
Speaker 3: bridesmaids pay for their own dresses, but they can wear
Speaker 3: them again.
Speaker 4: That gives me such strong twenty seven dresses vibes.
Speaker 2: Have you seen me?
Speaker 3: Yes? Like, where are they wearing a bridesmaid's dress again?
Speaker 1: Like?
Speaker 2: Please tell me?
Speaker 3: And if it's a dress they really really wanted to
Speaker 3: wear again and again and it's going to go into
Speaker 3: their capsule wardrobe on repeat? Was it not already in
Speaker 3: their wardrobe?
Speaker 2: That's very true? Why is it not already there? Where
Speaker 2: is it? Where is it?
Speaker 3: Oh? You're making them buy it and you think, oh,
Speaker 3: they'll wear it again, so you've justified to yourself. Oh
Speaker 3: I put that cost on Jess, but she's gonna wear
Speaker 3: it again.
Speaker 2: Where the next wedding sugar freewear, don't care?
Speaker 3: Actually, speaking of rewear, don't care. This has obviously become
Speaker 3: Victoria's wedding talk. So sit down, are you ready?
Speaker 2: I'm ready?
Speaker 3: My best friend deaf. Her wedding I am so full
Speaker 3: of and excited about. It is later this year and
Speaker 3: she is getting married overseas.
Speaker 2: Can't wait.
Speaker 3: Really excited about that one. But she's getting her bridesmaids
Speaker 3: to wear my bridesmaid's dresses, so we just like.
Speaker 2: We're wearing them. Oh great, isn't that genius?
Speaker 3: So I'm going to wear the dress that's staff ward
Speaker 3: to my wedding and she's going to be in her
Speaker 3: wedding dress. And I just think that what person around
Speaker 3: comes right perfect.
Speaker 2: Does she have the same bridesmaids as you had? Yeah,
Speaker 2: because we have no other friends. So it's like, I
Speaker 2: really it's a solid idea. That's a money way.
Speaker 3: So she's like, I really liked the white bridesmaids, Like
Speaker 3: would you mind? And I'm like, heck no, Like let's
Speaker 3: reach that makes absolute sense. So anyway, I think that's genius.
Speaker 2: I love that.
Speaker 3: So if you see a friend that has bridesmaids dresses
Speaker 3: that you like, why not reach out and see if
Speaker 3: you can buy them secondhand or borrow them or do
Speaker 3: something along those lines, just to make it a little
Speaker 3: bit cheaper because they are so expensive.
Speaker 4: So interesting, and if you want to have those conversations
Speaker 4: with us.
Speaker 2: You do, you absolutely do?
Speaker 4: You do? Follow us on Instagram, follow us on TikTok
Speaker 4: where she's on the money aus on Instagram and she's
Speaker 4: on the money on TikTok where having some spicy stuff
Speaker 4: come out. Victoria really getting in there, aren't you?
Speaker 3: Yeah, like literally getting in there. I feel like it's
Speaker 3: really important, though, to have those conversations because it just
Speaker 3: seems so unreasonable to me that I would continually be
Speaker 3: expected to pay for other people's weddings and then, on
Speaker 3: top of that, be expected to bring a gift, Like
Speaker 3: to me, it's wild. And that's coming from somebody whose
Speaker 3: literal love language is gift giving, Like I'm obsessed with
Speaker 3: gift giving. I don't think anyone could deny that, like
Speaker 3: that is something that I adore. But I think it's
Speaker 3: also this flipped narrative of, well, what if I couldn't
Speaker 3: afford it, I would then find a way to budget
Speaker 3: that I could afford it, and thus forego one of
Speaker 3: my financial goals to prioritize yours.
Speaker 2: And I don't think that's fair.
Speaker 3: No, So anyway we might wrap it there, because we
Speaker 3: are quickly running out of time, so guys, that is
Speaker 3: all we have time for today. Have a very very
Speaker 3: happy Friday next week.
Speaker 2: See you next week.
Speaker 3: The advice shared on She's on the Money is general
Speaker 3: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's
Speaker 3: on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should
Speaker 3: not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.
Speaker 2: If you do choose to buy a financial product.
Speaker 3: Read the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored
Speaker 3: towards your needs. Victoria Divine and She's on the Money
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