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Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr

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Speaker 1: the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before

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Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I

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Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land

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Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,

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Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming

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Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing

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Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for

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Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.

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Speaker 2: Let's get into it. She's on the Money.

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Speaker 3: She's on the Money.

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Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money, the podcast

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Speaker 2: for millennials who want financial freedom. Today's Friday, which means

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Speaker 2: it is time to get the team together and celebrate

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Speaker 2: you how incredible She's on the Money community. Today, we're

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Speaker 2: going to be sharing our favorite money wins. We're going

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Speaker 2: to talk about International Women's Day. We're also going to

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Speaker 2: be helping to answer a juicy money dilemma, which this

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Speaker 2: week is all about how to set yourself up financially

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Speaker 2: for a divorce. And we're going to unpack something for

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Speaker 2: slid into my dams, then made it to my TikTok,

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Speaker 2: made it to the Instagram reels, which this week is

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Speaker 2: all about bridesmaids and who should be paying for what?

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Speaker 2: But before we get there, miss Jessica Ricci, what are

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Speaker 2: you most excited about this week International Women's Day? Are

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Speaker 2: you actually excited?

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Speaker 3: I'm so excited because people don't realize I think how

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Speaker 3: long it takes us to work on something right. For

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Speaker 3: the background, We've been playing for this twelve months, literally

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Speaker 3: since International Women'sday last year finished.

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Speaker 2: It's so bad, like it's all we talk about in

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Speaker 2: the background. But I'm so excited about it, I know.

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Speaker 3: And this week we announced all of the guests for

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Speaker 3: all four of the cities, which we have been absolutely

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Speaker 3: dying to share with every.

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Speaker 2: For cities, which is absolutely wild And I'm genuinely so

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Speaker 2: excited because, as you said before, we do so much

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Speaker 2: planning in the background to make the most of IWD,

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Speaker 2: and I feel like we did a pretty good job

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Speaker 2: of it last year. But guess what, we only did

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Speaker 2: that in three months. Now We've got twelve months as

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Speaker 2: a lead time, so pressures on for the team. It

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Speaker 2: has to be bigger, it has to be better and

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Speaker 2: we couldn't be more grateful because our friends and the

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Speaker 2: incredible team at Chasea's this year are helping us bring

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Speaker 2: it to life. As you guys know, we have doubled

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Speaker 2: the number of cities we're able to visit this year,

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Speaker 2: so we'll be heading to Melbourne City, Brisbane and Perth.

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Speaker 2: And given the event is all about celebrating and empowering women,

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Speaker 2: we are so proud to be able to work with

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Speaker 2: partners like Chasea's who genuinely embody the same values as

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Speaker 2: She's on the money. And guess what we've got our

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Speaker 2: fingers crossed because a little bird told me Jessica, one

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Speaker 2: of their powerhouse CEOs Brook Roberts, might just be joining

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Speaker 2: us for the events.

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Speaker 3: I'm so excited. She's the coolest person ever. You've hung

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Speaker 3: out with her quite a bit. I am obsessed with her.

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Speaker 3: Guess what had to hang out with her? And just

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Speaker 3: Cinda r Dern in the same.

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Speaker 2: Room, like Mike drop dream that you look really excited,

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Speaker 2: so excited you just threw your hands in the air

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Speaker 2: when silent I did.

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Speaker 4: I didn't know ifel was laud to talk yet, Hello everybody,

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Speaker 4: and that.

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Speaker 2: Sounds so exciting. Is actually so exciting I get to

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Speaker 2: go to Perth, Like, how wild is that? I remember

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Speaker 2: last year when we were planning it, Jess, We're talking

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Speaker 2: about where we could go and what that would look like,

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Speaker 2: and we just did Melbourne and Sydney because that was

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Speaker 2: like for us the easiest because I operated out of

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Speaker 2: Sydney a lot. And I was like, I know it.

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Speaker 2: They're like, you know it was pushing the budget. I

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Speaker 2: said to the girls. I was like, oh, I'll probably

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Speaker 2: be a few years before we're able to get all

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Speaker 2: the way over to Perth, like your build will build.

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Speaker 2: Guess where we're going this year? Perth?

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Speaker 3: That is wild to me and person being kicking off

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Speaker 3: for it. You guys have the highest ticket sale, not

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Speaker 3: that it's a competition, is leaning the way, which is

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Speaker 3: really really cool. West super pumped to get out there.

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Speaker 3: What are you most excited for back, I'm really excited.

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Speaker 4: To actually leave Melbourne.

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Speaker 2: This is so exciting. Maybe just hear through the free ticks.

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Speaker 5: I really am And I don't know if it's obvious yet,

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Speaker 5: but I have obviously no financial knowledge, so I really

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Speaker 5: am here for the travel path.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and you're a woman and you want to be empowered.

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Speaker 2: I do want to be empowered and experience. Speaking of

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Speaker 2: empowered women, miss JESSICRICI, can you take us through our

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Speaker 2: community money wins this week?

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Speaker 3: Absolutely, I can. I've got some really good ones for

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Speaker 3: you this week, guys. My first one comes from Lauren

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Speaker 3: who said another money win, which is actually a fortnightly win,

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Speaker 3: is using funky food to.

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Speaker 2: Buy our veggies. It's Ony Food.

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Speaker 3: I pick this win because I loved the name. It's

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Speaker 3: forty two dollars for the box and it has expensive

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Speaker 3: stuff like ginger and garlic. I also share the extras

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Speaker 3: I get with my in laws. It's for the Brisbane

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Speaker 3: area only, but it saves us money and it means

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Speaker 3: we don't buy extra fruit or vege except for maybe

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Speaker 3: stuff like lemon. So I think it's a box where

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Speaker 3: you get the like mismatched fruit. You know, you sometimes

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Speaker 3: get ugly food. So it's like a box of that

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Speaker 3: that stuff that maybe the supermarkets wouldn't take because it's

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Speaker 3: not esthetically pleasing, but it's still delicious and that's what

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Speaker 3: its for.

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Speaker 2: Box.

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Speaker 4: How good is that?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 5: And you'll probably get the in there that you'd never

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Speaker 5: think to even buy it like a custard apple or

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Speaker 5: something like that.

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Speaker 2: I love cust apples. Actually, what is it.

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Speaker 4: I've never actually bought one.

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Speaker 2: It's an apple that tastes like custard. They're kind of.

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Speaker 3: Texturally sort of like a peach, like a peach. Yeah,

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Speaker 3: this is where I thought this was.

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Speaker 2: I thought it was.

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Speaker 3: Actually I thought costed apples or the soft ones, aren't they?

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Speaker 2: I think they are?

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so like kind of maybe I'm anyway maybe right.

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Speaker 2: Along when hold on, no, no, we going back to this.

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Speaker 2: When you said funky fruit, I was like, oh, is

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Speaker 2: it like a little bit off? But then I remember

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Speaker 2: then recently I have been buying the odd bunch so

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Speaker 2: at the supermarket they do like these big bags of

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Speaker 2: limes and stuff, and they're like eight bucks. And it's

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Speaker 2: actually so much more cost efficient to be buying the

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Speaker 2: odd bunch of things because they don't look one hundred

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Speaker 2: percent right, but they are like they might just have

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Speaker 2: a mark, or they might just be all lumped together,

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Speaker 2: and I don't mind. I'm just putting one and tea

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Speaker 2: over here so they don't squish it anyway, tastes delicious

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Speaker 2: no matter what shape it is. The next win that

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Speaker 2: I have comes from Dosy Dosy, who said I wanted

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Speaker 2: to buy the first she's on the money book and

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Speaker 2: I finally decided to buy it, and I only paid

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Speaker 2: nine dollars nine dollars.

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Speaker 3: I used my ten dollars fly buyers dollars to pay

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Speaker 3: for the remaining amount. Money Win is I have not

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Speaker 3: only saved money, but I'm going to kick my money

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Speaker 3: goals in twenty twenty three.

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Speaker 2: Yes, you absolutely are. I love that win very wholesome.

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Speaker 3: Next one is from Kayler, who said money Win, I've

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Speaker 3: made the decisions stop getting my nails done professionally. I

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Speaker 3: love getting my nails done and it has been thirteen

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Speaker 3: hundred dollars per annum for the past eight years. Wow,

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Speaker 3: quick maths on that. Anybody that's over ten thousand dollars, Yeah,

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Speaker 3: that's a lot of money. That is a lot of money.

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Speaker 2: We've been doing our nails from home for a while now,

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Speaker 2: and you're pretty good at it.

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Speaker 3: Don't look at my one finger, no polish on it

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Speaker 3: right now. But it does save so much money. And

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Speaker 3: Kayla said, I was influenced to purchase a nail kit

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Speaker 3: on Instagram during the Black Friday sales. It was around

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Speaker 3: two hundred dollars and it claims to give you around

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Speaker 3: forty cents, averaging at five dollars percent. So every year

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Speaker 3: I'm going to save one thy two hundred and fifty dollars.

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Speaker 2: See that's really good. And I really like actually doing

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Speaker 2: my nails now. I've gotten into the groove of it.

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Speaker 2: It's like a really nice self care activity that I

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Speaker 2: do in front of the TV. Yeah, yes, it does

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Speaker 2: take me much longer than it does. It is so

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Speaker 2: satisfying clipping your own cuticles.

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Speaker 3: And you can buy cute stickers if you're not very

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Speaker 3: good at nail art, because that's me, Like, I'm not

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Speaker 3: doing fancy things. We're just painting the polish on. You

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Speaker 3: can buy stickers and then it looks like you did

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Speaker 3: a good job when really we just.

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Speaker 2: Stuck it on the amount of people to compliment me

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Speaker 2: or my nail stickers. They're like love yourn mail art,

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Speaker 2: and I just smile and nod taking that credit.

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Speaker 3: Next win that I have comes from it, Debbie, she said,

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Speaker 3: tiny unexpected money win. I started my application for a

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Speaker 3: new passport a month ago. I went to the post

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Speaker 3: office today, the last day before the application expired, to

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Speaker 3: finish off the process. Passport fees actually have increased since

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Speaker 3: the first of January.

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Speaker 2: What hasn't increased since the first of January cost of.

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Speaker 3: Living or cozy living cozy something I heard someone called

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Speaker 3: on TikTok cozy living. Yeah, rough, because I'm millennial, I know,

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Speaker 3: Debbie said, But because I started the application last year,

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Speaker 3: I still pay the old feed.

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Speaker 2: Oh money win.

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Speaker 3: So that's big win. And anyone who's look at getting

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Speaker 3: a passport.

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Speaker 2: Should have done that last year.

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Speaker 3: Literally last week that I have today comes from Karen,

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Speaker 3: who said, I've been paying an amount fortnightly towards my utilities,

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Speaker 3: and I got the best charged this month. It was

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Speaker 3: only eight dollars and twenty four cents. Hey you because

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Speaker 3: she broke the cost down. She's just been paying it

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Speaker 3: off over time, and then all she had left to

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Speaker 3: pay was eight bucks.

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Speaker 2: Money win. I love that, and I loved all of

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Speaker 2: those money wins. Let's go to a quick break. But

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Speaker 2: on the other side of the break, we're going to

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Speaker 2: talk about how to set yourself up financially for a divorce.

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Speaker 2: We're also going to be talking about the spicy topic

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Speaker 2: of who should be paying fore bridesmaid's dresses. So don't

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Speaker 2: go anywhere. Guys, it's going to be a good one.

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Speaker 3: Welcome back everybody. I feel like we all know what

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Speaker 3: it's time for money dilemma.

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Speaker 2: Let's get into it. Hi, there, have you got a

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Speaker 2: money dilemma you just can't solve? The She's on the

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Speaker 2: Money team is here to help. Every week, we tackle

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Speaker 2: your dilemmas, both big and small, to answer your most

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Speaker 2: burning money, career and life questions. To get involved, simply

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Speaker 2: head to our website and leave us a short voice

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Speaker 2: recording and you might just find yourself on the show. Now,

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Speaker 2: let's take a listen to this week's money dilemma.

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Speaker 6: Hi, my name is Tina, and I am wondering about

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Speaker 6: how do you financially go about setting yourself up after

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Speaker 6: separation and divorce? Like pay your bills, pay the rents

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Speaker 6: for yourself? How you do that by yourself? Again? Like,

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Speaker 6: how do you get in the mindset of like being

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Speaker 6: financially independent from miss spouse's income.

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Speaker 2: I feel like this one is something that we don't

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Speaker 2: talk about enough. We always talk about preparing to go

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Speaker 2: into a divorce. We always talk about, you know, having

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Speaker 2: an emergency fund and making sure it's there, But life

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Speaker 2: changes so significantly when you go from having a double

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Speaker 2: income and you and your partner are paying for things

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Speaker 2: to it all being on your shoulders and all being

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Speaker 2: your responsibility. And I think that that actually does require

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Speaker 2: a completely different setup. I do think you need to

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Speaker 2: kind of wipe the budget clean, per se and then

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Speaker 2: go back to the drawing board, because money just doesn't

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Speaker 2: come out of nowhere when you go through a divorce,

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Speaker 2: like you actually have to find it and budget for it,

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Speaker 2: and things that you could previously afford unfortunately might become

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Speaker 2: a little bit of a luxury, especially in the first

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Speaker 2: twelve months while you're finding your feet. Jess, how would

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Speaker 2: you deal if you went down to one income all

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Speaker 2: of a sudden.

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Speaker 3: I feel like it's a really big lifestyle shift, kind

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Speaker 3: of on two fronts. Like you're obviously adjusting to living

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Speaker 3: your life without this person who theoretically you've been really

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Speaker 3: heavily intertwined with for however long you know, maybe you

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Speaker 3: have kids, or you have pets, or you had a house,

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Speaker 3: or on some level you have shared responsibilities. But then

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Speaker 3: also you have double the income, or you have two

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Speaker 3: streams of income at least, and now you're going down

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Speaker 3: to one. So it means that you're probably going to

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Speaker 3: be grappling with. Firstly, I guess all of the emotional

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Speaker 3: stuff that comes with a divorce, which I don't want

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Speaker 3: to gloss over too quickly because I think it is

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Speaker 3: just as impactful to somebody as the financial side of things.

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Speaker 3: But then you're also having to adjust to the facts

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Speaker 3: that maybe you can't afford to get your nails done

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Speaker 3: every couple of weeks now, or maybe you can't afford

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Speaker 3: to go on a holiday every year now because before,

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Speaker 3: when you had those two incomes, you had more room,

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Speaker 3: whereas now that it's just you and I believe our

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Speaker 3: listener said she.

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Speaker 2: Had kids, Yeah, it's hard.

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Speaker 3: That's a lot of responsibility on your shoulders. And I

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Speaker 3: mean we don't know the semantics of her. Is their

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Speaker 3: child support or is their SHEHD custody? You know, all

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Speaker 3: of those things are going to those factor in. But

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Speaker 3: I feel like, as you said, starting from scratch and

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Speaker 3: going what have I got coming in and just focusing

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Speaker 3: on what you're doing rather than what you're now X

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Speaker 3: may or may not be contributing, is probably helpful because

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Speaker 3: I feel like you can only focus on the factors

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Speaker 3: that you can control, right, Yeah, And.

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Speaker 2: It can be really stressful because, as you said before,

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Speaker 2: it's a lifestyle shift as much as it's a you know,

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Speaker 2: something that you've got to get used to. It's not

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Speaker 2: just an increase in bills. It's like, well, where is

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Speaker 2: that double going to come from? What do you reckon?

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Speaker 2: What if you broke up with a partner, how would

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Speaker 2: you deal with doubling the expenses? Where would you begin?

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Speaker 4: Oh God, I don't even know.

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Speaker 5: I know that, like, as someone who is living in

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Speaker 5: a single income household, I kind of just know already

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Speaker 5: that I probably won't be able to afford to buy

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Speaker 5: a house in the future or buy an apartment, like

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Speaker 5: maybe I could, but it just seems a lot more

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Speaker 5: hard and so far out of my reach. So I

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Speaker 5: feel like if I wasn't a place where I was

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Speaker 5: living with someone we had shared expenses to incomes, and

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Speaker 5: then we separated, I feel like now I'm fully equipped

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Speaker 5: for that kind of lifestyle. But then again, I don't

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Speaker 5: know what it's like to have children have these shared

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Speaker 5: responsibilities and have I don't know, maybe they like own

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Speaker 5: a house or rent a large house together.

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Speaker 4: That would just be so difficult. Where do you even

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Speaker 4: start to untangle that you know.

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Speaker 2: I also think it's a little bit about goal resetting

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Speaker 2: as well, because you know, before you said beck like

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Speaker 2: at this point in my life, like, I'm not sure

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Speaker 2: buying a property makes sense to me. But if you

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Speaker 2: found a partner and then you guys go, oh, well,

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Speaker 2: actually we can now afford it, and you're working towards

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Speaker 2: this goal and you fall in love with this goal

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Speaker 2: and get so excited about it, then you don't have

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Speaker 2: a partner anymore. That reality shift is also a lot

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Speaker 2: to swallow. I think, and I don't think we talk about,

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Speaker 2: you know, the disappointment of not having your expected reality happen,

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Speaker 2: even if it hadn't happened already, like you might not

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Speaker 2: have bought the house, but you were working towards it.

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Speaker 2: Now you only have half the savings and it's actually

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Speaker 2: not a reality in the future for you. I think

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Speaker 2: often that can be really disappointing, and we take that

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Speaker 2: on ourselves a lot, and we just assume our wholes

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Speaker 2: because I'm not good enough or I don't earn enough,

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Speaker 2: or I don't do that, and it's like, no, it's

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Speaker 2: twenty twenty three. It's got nothing to do with been

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Speaker 2: good enough for working hard enough, the world is going

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Speaker 2: absolutely crazy. And I've great a statistic the other day

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Speaker 2: that said the median house price today in Melbourne, which

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Speaker 2: is where we all are right now today is twenty

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Speaker 2: one times what it was in nineteen eighty one, and

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Speaker 2: wages have only gone up six times. I feel like

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Speaker 2: that puts it in perspective as to how unobtainable property

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Speaker 2: has now become. And it's something that you know, if

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Speaker 2: you then have a duel income and you've worked towards it,

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Speaker 2: like that would be heartbreaking to lose because I think

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Speaker 2: that you get to a point in your I don't

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Speaker 2: want to say career, but you get to a point

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Speaker 2: in your life where if you've saved enough and property

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Speaker 2: is on the vision board and it is something that

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Speaker 2: you're going to achieve to then have that knocked oubt

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Speaker 2: you kind of go, no, no, no, it's still going

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Speaker 2: to happen. I'm going to make it happen, and it

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Speaker 2: might not actually be the best financial decision ever, which

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Speaker 2: is why I think going back to the drawing board

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Speaker 2: and going well before, like what you said, just what

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Speaker 2: do I have coming in? What do I have to

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Speaker 2: you know, have going out? And where can I start?

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Speaker 2: Because we can earn more income, you could create a

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Speaker 2: side hustle, you could get a different job. But all

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Speaker 2: of those things are really dependent on whether it's actually

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Speaker 2: appropriate for you to do that or even accessible for

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Speaker 2: you to do that with small kids. So I just

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Speaker 2: feel like the best advice was actually what you said, Jess,

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Speaker 2: and that's just going back to the absolute basics.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, and the other thing i'd maybe encourage beck you

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Speaker 3: said before, you feel like you would be really equipped

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Speaker 3: to live that way because that's your current reality, but

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Speaker 3: maybe that's not the case for someone. Kind of going

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Speaker 3: back there, I would really encourage our community member to

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Speaker 3: rely on the resources around her, like talk to your friends,

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Speaker 3: like we're a great resource and I'm so happy that

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Speaker 3: you wrote into us because we're here to support you

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Speaker 3: one hundred percent. But talk to your friends. Be honest

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Speaker 3: with your friends around your financial situation. If you can't

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Speaker 3: afford to go to dinner, tell them that. I think

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Speaker 3: there's a lot of shame that people unintentionally carry around

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Speaker 3: lifestyle change and around not feeling like they have a

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Speaker 3: lot of money. And I think the people around you

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Speaker 3: love you, and I know that it can be hard

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Speaker 3: to see if you're going through a time like this,

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Speaker 3: but be.

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Speaker 4: Honest with them.

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Speaker 3: They're there to help you, they're there to support you,

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Speaker 3: and I feel like it's a really great resource to

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Speaker 3: have that you can rely on if you need it.

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Speaker 5: Just before we move on, I do want to acknowledge

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Speaker 5: that some people may be in a position, potentially this

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Speaker 5: listener where she didn't have any you know, goals like

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Speaker 5: buying a house, or she never actually went to go

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Speaker 5: get her nails done, or already was at a point

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Speaker 5: where there are people out there who are already at

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Speaker 5: a point where they are at the basics, just living

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Speaker 5: their day to day life, just not splurging on anything.

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Speaker 5: So kind of taking the advice of going back to

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Speaker 5: the basics might not be super useful or even accessible

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Speaker 5: for some people because they might already be there and

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Speaker 5: then to have that income cut in half would just

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Speaker 5: be like such a struggle. So I guess in that instance,

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Speaker 5: just taking advantage of the resources that you have available

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Speaker 5: to you know, like send the link or government resources

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Speaker 5: that chat to them, chat to them, so nice. Exactly,

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Speaker 5: there are things out there to help you.

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Speaker 2: Another great resource we talk about all the time on

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Speaker 2: She's on the Money is the national debt. Help line,

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Speaker 2: and we love them. You don't have to be in

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Speaker 2: significant debt to talk to them. They have a whole

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Speaker 2: heap of really beautiful financial counselors who can actually help

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Speaker 2: you on your journey. But yeah, that's a really good

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Speaker 2: call out and one that absolutely is appreciated in this space.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, Beck, thank you. All Right now, we're going

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Speaker 2: to move on to what I think is a relatively

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Speaker 2: spicy topic. And given the engagement I've gotten over the

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Speaker 2: last week on my TikTok and on my Instagram related

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Speaker 2: to this and Jess the hate messages I've come from

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Speaker 2: brides who are real salty at me, I think this

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Speaker 2: is a really good place to land. Usually would read out,

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Speaker 2: you know a little bit of a community concern or

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Speaker 2: a dilemma here, and like address it as a team

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Speaker 2: and bring to the tablesome community responses. But this week

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Speaker 2: I uploaded a TikTok and it kind of went a

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Speaker 2: little bit crazy. So just drop it here so you

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Speaker 2: guys can all catch up and be on the same page.

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Speaker 2: Controversial opinion from me as somebody who has just gotten married.

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Speaker 2: I genuinely think that if you're getting married, you shouldn't

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Speaker 2: be making the bridesmaids pay for their own dress, their

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Speaker 2: own hair, their own makeup, or any expenses. From my perspective,

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Speaker 2: if you've got a bridesmaid and you want a bridesmaid

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Speaker 2: in your wedding, I think that's your cost, not somebody

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Speaker 2: else's cost. To factor into their budget when they have

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Speaker 2: bigger goals and values and aspirations to achieve it sounds privileged.

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Speaker 2: But if you can't afford to have ten bridesmaids, don't

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Speaker 2: have ten bridesmaids, all right, So T or DR. I

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Speaker 2: clearly don't believe that bridesmaids should be paying for their

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Speaker 2: own dresses. Beck if you're in a wedding, would you

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Speaker 2: expect the bride to be paying for the dress or

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Speaker 2: are you going to front up that cost?

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Speaker 5: Luckily I've never been in this situation before, so but

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Speaker 5: I would say if I were to be a bridesmaid,

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Speaker 5: I would not be in any financial position to be

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Speaker 5: able to afford a several hundred dollars dress. So I

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Speaker 5: would hope that the bride would be definitely buying that

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Speaker 5: one for me, yeah.

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Speaker 2: One hundred percent. I just you know, I won't harp

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Speaker 2: on about it because I clearly have it already but

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Speaker 2: I just cannot comprehend that I would go my goal

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Speaker 2: is now your financial responsibility. That blows my mind. Jess,

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Speaker 2: what are your thoughts.

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Speaker 3: It's such like a catch twenty two because I think

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Speaker 3: the norm over the past, however long, has definitely been

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Speaker 3: that the bride'smaid wears that cost. I guess it's up

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Speaker 3: for debate. If you're expecting your bride's maids to wear

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Speaker 3: thousand dollar designer dresses and really extensive designer shoes and

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Speaker 3: you need them to get their hair done and their

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Speaker 3: makeup done like that to me is ludicrous. I do

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Speaker 3: think I have seen people do it in the past

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Speaker 3: much more conservatively, so like you don't have to have

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Speaker 3: your hair or makeup done professionally to be in a

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Speaker 3: well of course, you know, so taking that expense off

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Speaker 3: the table, is there something in their closet that fits

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Speaker 3: the color palette of your wedding that they could wear,

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Speaker 3: or you know, if you have a color palette, is

437
00:19:43,160 --> 00:19:45,600
Speaker 3: there something that they would be comfortable buying at their

438
00:19:45,680 --> 00:19:48,080
Speaker 3: price points? You can, I guess, do it in a

439
00:19:48,119 --> 00:19:50,160
Speaker 3: way where it's not as extreme. But I do think

440
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:53,240
Speaker 3: it's ludicrous to put the expectation on people that they

441
00:19:53,280 --> 00:19:55,600
Speaker 3: have to invest hundreds of dollars to be in your wedding.

442
00:19:56,119 --> 00:19:58,040
Speaker 3: The only other thing I guess you could do to

443
00:19:58,119 --> 00:20:01,240
Speaker 3: kind of negate the cost is if you were having

444
00:20:01,280 --> 00:20:03,960
Speaker 3: them buy address at a more affordable price point. If

445
00:20:04,000 --> 00:20:05,840
Speaker 3: I was the bride, I guess I would be saying, well,

446
00:20:05,840 --> 00:20:08,240
Speaker 3: that's your wedding gift to me, Like I wouldn't expect

447
00:20:08,320 --> 00:20:11,560
Speaker 3: anything else a source, of course, But yeah, like I

448
00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:13,400
Speaker 3: think as things get bigger and bigger and people become

449
00:20:13,400 --> 00:20:16,720
Speaker 3: more extravagant, it's ridiculous to expect people to invest in

450
00:20:16,760 --> 00:20:18,400
Speaker 3: a day that's not about them, you know.

451
00:20:18,720 --> 00:20:22,560
Speaker 2: It's about you. Yeah, And having just gotten married. The

452
00:20:22,760 --> 00:20:26,199
Speaker 2: idea that I would ask my bridesmaids one of you know,

453
00:20:26,560 --> 00:20:30,119
Speaker 2: contextualizing it, I've got my little sister. Can't imagine asking

454
00:20:30,160 --> 00:20:33,679
Speaker 2: her to buy anything because she's my little sister. I

455
00:20:33,720 --> 00:20:38,160
Speaker 2: had a bridesmaid that traveled internationally. Can't imagine asking her

456
00:20:38,200 --> 00:20:41,200
Speaker 2: to also front up any type of cost. I already

457
00:20:41,200 --> 00:20:43,280
Speaker 2: felt bad that she was willing to, you know, spend

458
00:20:43,320 --> 00:20:47,000
Speaker 2: on international flights. And then my other best friend who

459
00:20:47,080 --> 00:20:49,359
Speaker 2: had just had a baby and bought a new house,

460
00:20:49,720 --> 00:20:53,399
Speaker 2: Like I cannot comprehend asking them to front up for

461
00:20:53,640 --> 00:20:57,440
Speaker 2: my financial goal or the wedding of my dreams, because

462
00:20:57,440 --> 00:21:01,320
Speaker 2: it's not their responsibility. A good friend, thank you, thank you,

463
00:21:01,400 --> 00:21:03,600
Speaker 2: But I just don't think it should take a good friend.

464
00:21:03,680 --> 00:21:07,840
Speaker 2: And the comments from online I found really interesting as well,

465
00:21:08,080 --> 00:21:12,040
Speaker 2: because on TikTok they're very international, so lots were coming

466
00:21:12,040 --> 00:21:14,240
Speaker 2: from Europe and they're like, what are you talking about?

467
00:21:14,320 --> 00:21:18,680
Speaker 2: Bridesmaids never pay for their own dresses. Comments from America

468
00:21:18,720 --> 00:21:21,480
Speaker 2: are like, what do you mean I could never pay

469
00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:26,520
Speaker 2: for twelve bridesmaids dress? I say down, I don't even

470
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:29,159
Speaker 2: have that many friends. And then it seems to be

471
00:21:29,359 --> 00:21:32,080
Speaker 2: in Australia a little bit of a mix between bride's

472
00:21:32,080 --> 00:21:35,240
Speaker 2: paying and then bride's maids paying, And I just I

473
00:21:35,240 --> 00:21:37,320
Speaker 2: think we need to be talking about this a little

474
00:21:37,320 --> 00:21:39,760
Speaker 2: bit more openly and honestly, because I think the wedding

475
00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:42,120
Speaker 2: industry is all about like the glitz and the clamor

476
00:21:42,160 --> 00:21:45,680
Speaker 2: and making it look beautiful and there's these massive expectations,

477
00:21:45,720 --> 00:21:48,960
Speaker 2: but like behind it is money, and money is stressful,

478
00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:52,800
Speaker 2: and money is not something that absolutely everybody has access to,

479
00:21:53,440 --> 00:21:56,560
Speaker 2: especially if you're budgeting or you're a UNI student, And

480
00:21:57,000 --> 00:21:58,879
Speaker 2: it just blows my mind. So I thought what we

481
00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,040
Speaker 2: could do is go through a couple of the comments

482
00:22:01,080 --> 00:22:03,520
Speaker 2: that happened on my TikTok, and you guys can tell

483
00:22:03,520 --> 00:22:06,960
Speaker 2: me what you think. Yes, please, so someone or my

484
00:22:07,040 --> 00:22:08,600
Speaker 2: I'm not going to read out names because I don't

485
00:22:08,600 --> 00:22:10,680
Speaker 2: want to name names. But someone said I forked out

486
00:22:10,680 --> 00:22:14,359
Speaker 2: over two thousand dollars everything for an ex friend's wedding.

487
00:22:14,640 --> 00:22:16,600
Speaker 2: Never again. That's the other thing.

488
00:22:16,680 --> 00:22:18,560
Speaker 3: What happens if you're like the maid of honor and

489
00:22:18,560 --> 00:22:20,360
Speaker 3: then in three years time you're not friends anymore.

490
00:22:20,400 --> 00:22:21,520
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, it's so.

491
00:22:21,800 --> 00:22:25,040
Speaker 4: Bad, so bad, two thousand dollars.

492
00:22:25,280 --> 00:22:28,199
Speaker 3: True, grand I just say no, like I actually, like

493
00:22:28,280 --> 00:22:29,919
Speaker 3: if someone turned around to me and said I need you,

494
00:22:29,960 --> 00:22:31,840
Speaker 3: I just say I'm so sorry I can't be your

495
00:22:31,840 --> 00:22:32,240
Speaker 3: brides back.

496
00:22:32,400 --> 00:22:35,399
Speaker 2: That's absurd, I agree. But then there were comments like

497
00:22:35,440 --> 00:22:38,639
Speaker 2: this one that said I bear the brun of the cost,

498
00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:41,000
Speaker 2: but I didn't want to. I just didn't have the

499
00:22:41,000 --> 00:22:43,080
Speaker 2: balls to tell the bride I couldn't afford it. And

500
00:22:43,160 --> 00:22:46,919
Speaker 2: I feel like it drives a wedge between you and

501
00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:49,320
Speaker 2: your friend sometimes, like if I asked you to be

502
00:22:49,440 --> 00:22:52,280
Speaker 2: my bridesmaid, obviously, like I just want you there. Maybe

503
00:22:52,280 --> 00:22:54,679
Speaker 2: I haven't thought about the financial aspect of it. I

504
00:22:54,720 --> 00:22:56,920
Speaker 2: want you to stand beside me on what is meant

505
00:22:56,920 --> 00:22:59,359
Speaker 2: to be quote and this is not true at all,

506
00:22:59,440 --> 00:23:02,520
Speaker 2: especially one who's gotten married the biggest day of your life.

507
00:23:02,800 --> 00:23:05,560
Speaker 2: Like I get where they're coming from when they ask you,

508
00:23:05,760 --> 00:23:08,159
Speaker 2: but to then say no, sorry, Like I don't think

509
00:23:08,200 --> 00:23:10,120
Speaker 2: they're going to take it that way. So I think

510
00:23:10,240 --> 00:23:12,359
Speaker 2: this is why we really need to crack the shell

511
00:23:12,400 --> 00:23:14,919
Speaker 2: a little bit around these conversations, because it's kind of

512
00:23:14,960 --> 00:23:18,000
Speaker 2: like if you're asking someone to be your bridesmaid, it's

513
00:23:18,040 --> 00:23:20,000
Speaker 2: kind of like inviting somebody out to dinner at a

514
00:23:20,080 --> 00:23:22,359
Speaker 2: fancy restaurant. If I go, oh, hey, Jess, do you

515
00:23:22,400 --> 00:23:25,159
Speaker 2: want to come out to this really fancy restaurant with me?

516
00:23:25,200 --> 00:23:27,679
Speaker 2: And you go yeah, yeah, No worries like is that

517
00:23:27,760 --> 00:23:30,320
Speaker 2: not my responsibility to then pay because I invited you?

518
00:23:30,600 --> 00:23:33,440
Speaker 5: Now that's another topic. Would that be? I don't know

519
00:23:33,480 --> 00:23:35,200
Speaker 5: what I would say to that, but I would say

520
00:23:35,280 --> 00:23:35,720
Speaker 5: split it.

521
00:23:36,440 --> 00:23:39,720
Speaker 2: You would say split it if I invited you to arrest.

522
00:23:39,840 --> 00:23:43,359
Speaker 2: I think it's about expectations and actually having that conversation

523
00:23:43,560 --> 00:23:47,760
Speaker 2: up front, and maybe not making your bridesmaids agree to

524
00:23:47,800 --> 00:23:51,040
Speaker 2: being a bridesmaid before they know all of the expectations

525
00:23:51,080 --> 00:23:53,600
Speaker 2: that are on them, because let's think about the bigger

526
00:23:53,640 --> 00:23:58,080
Speaker 2: expectations on brides hen's parties. Yeap, who pays for that?

527
00:23:58,080 --> 00:23:59,800
Speaker 4: That's a good question. I actually don't know who pays

528
00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:00,000
Speaker 4: for that.

529
00:24:00,200 --> 00:24:03,040
Speaker 2: So a comment that came from one of my girlfriend's

530
00:24:03,119 --> 00:24:06,119
Speaker 2: cat spanty's account, so she took my TikTok put it

531
00:24:06,160 --> 00:24:10,040
Speaker 2: on her Instagram stories. They went wild. They then replied

532
00:24:10,119 --> 00:24:13,320
Speaker 2: to her story and said, I'm a bridesmaid at a

533
00:24:13,320 --> 00:24:16,600
Speaker 2: friend's wedding this September and we all have to pay

534
00:24:16,640 --> 00:24:19,200
Speaker 2: for the hens. The maid of honor has planned the

535
00:24:19,240 --> 00:24:22,000
Speaker 2: whole thing, and we are all having to pay eight

536
00:24:22,160 --> 00:24:26,119
Speaker 2: hundred dollars each for the weekend. There are five of us. No,

537
00:24:26,840 --> 00:24:29,800
Speaker 2: that's ridiculous, right, how have.

538
00:24:29,760 --> 00:24:31,160
Speaker 4: Where do you just get that money from?

539
00:24:31,280 --> 00:24:32,119
Speaker 2: It's insane.

540
00:24:32,400 --> 00:24:33,479
Speaker 4: You paid for your hands.

541
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:36,320
Speaker 2: I paid for a lot of it, actually, Like I

542
00:24:36,440 --> 00:24:38,840
Speaker 2: ended up paying for the house rental that we had,

543
00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:42,359
Speaker 2: and I ended up getting cash to give to my

544
00:24:42,440 --> 00:24:46,000
Speaker 2: bridesmaids because I felt uncomfortable with the idea that they

545
00:24:46,040 --> 00:24:48,640
Speaker 2: would be footing the cost. I like said to them, look,

546
00:24:48,720 --> 00:24:51,760
Speaker 2: I know this isn't how it usually goes. I think

547
00:24:51,880 --> 00:24:55,160
Speaker 2: people usually pay for it and organize something within their budget.

548
00:24:55,520 --> 00:24:58,040
Speaker 2: But here's you know, tell me what you want to

549
00:24:58,080 --> 00:25:00,400
Speaker 2: do and I'll get it all locked in. Make sure

550
00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:03,840
Speaker 2: that it's not your financial burden. But that's because let's remember,

551
00:25:04,520 --> 00:25:06,640
Speaker 2: I'm she's on the money. Like I feel like, all

552
00:25:06,680 --> 00:25:08,680
Speaker 2: I do is think about money and think about other

553
00:25:08,720 --> 00:25:12,840
Speaker 2: people's financial circumstances. So I don't expect everybody to be

554
00:25:13,000 --> 00:25:15,080
Speaker 2: on that same page, right, And I'm not saying that

555
00:25:15,119 --> 00:25:18,600
Speaker 2: this is the expectation, but I do absolutely have the

556
00:25:18,680 --> 00:25:21,080
Speaker 2: belief that if you are going to have your wedding,

557
00:25:21,200 --> 00:25:23,359
Speaker 2: and you're going to create a wedding budget, which we

558
00:25:23,400 --> 00:25:26,400
Speaker 2: are releasing very soon, my version of a wedding budget

559
00:25:26,920 --> 00:25:30,560
Speaker 2: in that budget is your bridesmaid's dresses, your bridesmaid's shoes.

560
00:25:30,640 --> 00:25:33,280
Speaker 2: If you expect them to have professional hair and makeup,

561
00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:36,760
Speaker 2: that is your cost. If you have groomsmen, that is

562
00:25:37,040 --> 00:25:39,840
Speaker 2: your cost. And we need to think about these things

563
00:25:39,840 --> 00:25:42,919
Speaker 2: because they add up. They're not just something where you go,

564
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:46,240
Speaker 2: I'd really like to have dress in my bridal party. Yeah,

565
00:25:46,280 --> 00:25:48,320
Speaker 2: she can pay for that. Yeah, But to me, that

566
00:25:48,600 --> 00:25:51,640
Speaker 2: is wild to think that that would then become her

567
00:25:51,680 --> 00:25:54,040
Speaker 2: burden and her responsibility. So I won't go on and

568
00:25:54,080 --> 00:25:56,560
Speaker 2: on about this, but there is another one thing that

569
00:25:56,600 --> 00:26:00,720
Speaker 2: came up in comments that really grinds my gear. Are

570
00:26:00,760 --> 00:26:02,320
Speaker 2: you ready? I'm so ready?

571
00:26:02,400 --> 00:26:02,720
Speaker 3: All right.

572
00:26:02,880 --> 00:26:07,399
Speaker 2: So it's this idea that ah and this is probably

573
00:26:07,440 --> 00:26:10,240
Speaker 2: a little bit spicy, but oh no, no no, My

574
00:26:10,320 --> 00:26:12,600
Speaker 2: bridesmaids pay for their own dresses, but they can wear

575
00:26:12,600 --> 00:26:13,040
Speaker 2: them again.

576
00:26:13,800 --> 00:26:16,600
Speaker 3: That gives me such strong twenty seven dresses vibes.

577
00:26:16,680 --> 00:26:19,840
Speaker 2: Have you seen me? Yes? Like, where are they wearing

578
00:26:19,880 --> 00:26:21,719
Speaker 2: a bridesmaid's dress again?

579
00:26:22,359 --> 00:26:22,439
Speaker 1: Like?

580
00:26:22,600 --> 00:26:25,600
Speaker 2: Please tell me? And if it's a dress they really

581
00:26:25,640 --> 00:26:27,679
Speaker 2: really wanted to wear again and again and it's going

582
00:26:27,720 --> 00:26:30,399
Speaker 2: to go into their capsule wardrobe on repeat? Was it

583
00:26:30,480 --> 00:26:31,680
Speaker 2: not already in their wardrobe?

584
00:26:31,760 --> 00:26:32,720
Speaker 4: That's very true?

585
00:26:32,920 --> 00:26:35,440
Speaker 2: Why is it not already there? Where is it? Where

586
00:26:35,480 --> 00:26:38,120
Speaker 2: is it? Oh? You're making them buy it and you think, oh,

587
00:26:38,119 --> 00:26:41,200
Speaker 2: they'll wear it again, so you've justified to yourself. Oh

588
00:26:41,280 --> 00:26:43,800
Speaker 2: I put that cost on Jess, but she's gonna wear

589
00:26:43,840 --> 00:26:44,200
Speaker 2: it again.

590
00:26:44,880 --> 00:26:48,240
Speaker 4: Where the next wedding sugar.

591
00:26:51,200 --> 00:26:52,120
Speaker 3: Freewear, don't care?

592
00:26:52,800 --> 00:26:55,520
Speaker 2: Actually, speaking of rewear, don't care. This has obviously become

593
00:26:55,600 --> 00:26:58,000
Speaker 2: Victoria's wedding talk. So sit down, are you ready?

594
00:26:58,160 --> 00:26:58,719
Speaker 4: I'm ready.

595
00:26:58,880 --> 00:27:02,320
Speaker 2: My best friend Deaf her wedding I am so full

596
00:27:02,320 --> 00:27:05,360
Speaker 2: of and excited about. It is later this year and

597
00:27:05,480 --> 00:27:09,400
Speaker 2: she is getting married overseas. Can't wait, really excited about

598
00:27:09,440 --> 00:27:13,919
Speaker 2: that one. But she's getting her bridesmaids to wear my

599
00:27:14,040 --> 00:27:17,320
Speaker 2: bridesmaid's dresses, so we just like we're wearing them. Oh great,

600
00:27:17,359 --> 00:27:19,280
Speaker 2: isn't that genius? So I'm going to wear the dress

601
00:27:19,320 --> 00:27:21,840
Speaker 2: that's staff forward to my wedding and she's going to

602
00:27:21,840 --> 00:27:23,400
Speaker 2: be in her wedding dress. And I just think that

603
00:27:23,720 --> 00:27:25,320
Speaker 2: what person around comes right perfect?

604
00:27:25,359 --> 00:27:27,720
Speaker 4: Does she have the same bridesmaids as you had?

605
00:27:27,800 --> 00:27:29,600
Speaker 2: Yeah? Because we have no other friends, so it's like,

606
00:27:29,680 --> 00:27:31,040
Speaker 2: I really it's a solid idea.

607
00:27:31,200 --> 00:27:32,000
Speaker 4: That's a money way.

608
00:27:32,080 --> 00:27:34,760
Speaker 2: So she's like, I really liked the white bridesmaids, Like

609
00:27:34,800 --> 00:27:37,320
Speaker 2: would you mind? And I'm like, heck no, Like let's

610
00:27:37,359 --> 00:27:40,639
Speaker 2: reach that makes absolute sense. So anyway, I think that's genius.

611
00:27:40,680 --> 00:27:42,679
Speaker 2: I love that. So if you see a friend that

612
00:27:42,760 --> 00:27:45,520
Speaker 2: has bridesmaids dresses that you like, why not reach out

613
00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:47,600
Speaker 2: and see if you can buy them secondhand or borrow

614
00:27:47,640 --> 00:27:50,240
Speaker 2: them or do something along those lines, just to make

615
00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:52,000
Speaker 2: it a little bit cheaper because they are.

616
00:27:52,000 --> 00:27:55,840
Speaker 3: So expensive, so interesting and if you want to have

617
00:27:55,880 --> 00:27:57,240
Speaker 3: those conversations with us.

618
00:27:57,160 --> 00:27:58,800
Speaker 2: You do, you absolutely do.

619
00:27:58,960 --> 00:28:01,040
Speaker 3: You do. Follow us on Instagram, follow us on TikTok

620
00:28:01,040 --> 00:28:03,200
Speaker 3: where she's on the money aus on Instagram and she's

621
00:28:03,200 --> 00:28:06,160
Speaker 3: on the money on TikTok where having some spicy stuff

622
00:28:06,200 --> 00:28:07,879
Speaker 3: come out. Victoria really getting in there, aren't you?

623
00:28:08,119 --> 00:28:10,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, like literally getting in there. I feel like it's

624
00:28:10,560 --> 00:28:13,879
Speaker 2: really important, though, to have those conversations, because it just

625
00:28:13,920 --> 00:28:18,080
Speaker 2: seems so unreasonable to me that I would continually be

626
00:28:18,280 --> 00:28:21,679
Speaker 2: expected to pay for other people's weddings and then, on

627
00:28:21,720 --> 00:28:24,919
Speaker 2: top of that, be expected to bring a gift, Like

628
00:28:25,080 --> 00:28:28,200
Speaker 2: to me, it's wild, And that's coming from somebody whose

629
00:28:28,280 --> 00:28:31,720
Speaker 2: literal love language is gift giving, Like I'm obsessed with

630
00:28:31,760 --> 00:28:34,199
Speaker 2: gift giving. I don't think anyone could deny that, like

631
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:37,040
Speaker 2: that is something that I adore. But I think it's

632
00:28:37,080 --> 00:28:41,120
Speaker 2: also this flipped narrative of, well, what if I couldn't

633
00:28:41,160 --> 00:28:44,720
Speaker 2: afford it, I would then find a way to budget

634
00:28:45,000 --> 00:28:48,120
Speaker 2: that I could afford it, and thus forego one of

635
00:28:48,160 --> 00:28:51,240
Speaker 2: my financial goals to prioritize yours. And I don't think

636
00:28:51,280 --> 00:28:54,520
Speaker 2: that's fair. No, So anyway we might wrap it there,

637
00:28:54,560 --> 00:28:57,440
Speaker 2: because we are quickly running out of time. So guys,

638
00:28:57,600 --> 00:28:59,680
Speaker 2: that is all we have time for today. Have a

639
00:28:59,840 --> 00:29:02,000
Speaker 2: very very happy Friday next week.

640
00:29:02,040 --> 00:29:02,840
Speaker 4: See you next week.

641
00:29:08,840 --> 00:29:11,360
Speaker 2: The advice shared on She's on the Money is general

642
00:29:11,440 --> 00:29:15,280
Speaker 2: in nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's

643
00:29:15,320 --> 00:29:18,800
Speaker 2: on the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should

644
00:29:18,800 --> 00:29:22,000
Speaker 2: not be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision.

645
00:29:22,360 --> 00:29:24,840
Speaker 2: If you do choose to buy a financial product, read

646
00:29:24,840 --> 00:29:29,000
Speaker 2: the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards

647
00:29:29,040 --> 00:29:32,280
Speaker 2: your needs. Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are

648
00:29:32,360 --> 00:29:37,360
Speaker 2: authorized representatives of money. Sheper pty Ltd ABN three two

649
00:29:37,400 --> 00:29:40,400
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650
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