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Speaker 1: I'm concerned. I just got a very concerning email. This

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Speaker 1: is the title of the email. No time left. Someone's

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Speaker 1: trying to extort me. They reckon, they've got videos of

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Speaker 1: me masturbating.

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Speaker 2: Wasn't it like you put the don't you put tape

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Speaker 2: over the camera on the Mac?

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Speaker 1: I don't use the Mac. I'm a phone guy, and

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Speaker 1: I put my thumb over like that. Even if they're

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Speaker 1: getting any image, it's very it'd be it'd be like

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Speaker 1: it'd be like a boomer taking.

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Speaker 2: A photo that actually happened.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, dude, apparently. But anyway, I've been doing that for years.

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Speaker 1: But I like this email because he subtle brags about

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Speaker 1: himself in it. So he's like, within the same week,

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Speaker 1: I moved on with installing a trojan virus in operating

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Speaker 1: systems for all devices that you used to log into email.

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Speaker 1: Frankly speaking, it wasn't a challenging task for me at all.

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Speaker 1: But then he goes on to say, since you were

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Speaker 1: kind enough to click some of the links in your

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Speaker 1: inbox in email before, and he says, yeah, geniuses are

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Speaker 1: amongst us.

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Speaker 2: Did you click any links?

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Speaker 1: Fuck? I don't know. I know that he hasn't got

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Speaker 1: anything of me like, I know that because it's a

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Speaker 1: habit now like literally that one. I'm not like that.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, you're not gonna what are you gonna see?

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Speaker 1: And like my fingers are crossed like that at all times.

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Speaker 1: You might see my face, but you just see me

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Speaker 1: making some weird facials.

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Speaker 2: We've already spoken about. You're masturbating for far too long.

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Speaker 1: And over then hang on. I love how he signs

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Speaker 1: his email. Whoever this guy also like tells me that

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Speaker 1: I'll never find him like I dry, But also he

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Speaker 1: signs the email off with be careful.

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Speaker 2: Welcome back to two ding Dads. I'm Maddie J And

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Speaker 2: I'm Ash. This is a podcast that is all about parenting.

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Speaker 1: It's the good, the bad, and the relatable.

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Speaker 2: And we will not at any point give any type

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Speaker 2: of advice.

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Speaker 1: No, not any real advice.

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Speaker 2: Ash. Yes, last episode, Yes, I recall I made an

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Speaker 2: awful mistake.

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Speaker 1: You definitely did, and.

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Speaker 2: I have apologized profusely.

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Speaker 1: I haven't taken any of them on board either.

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Speaker 2: And I have really had a good heart look at

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Speaker 2: myself and once again I apologize.

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Speaker 1: You love looking at yourself too.

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Speaker 2: Look I have got your gift. I will be washing

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Speaker 2: the car. We didn't get to that last time because

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Speaker 2: it's happening, ran out of time. But in addition to that,

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Speaker 2: I also wanted to get you a very special gift. Yes,

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Speaker 2: so here it is?

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Speaker 1: Is that fish and chips?

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Speaker 2: Yes, ash, happy birthday?

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Speaker 1: Give me, gimme, gimme I see fuck off? No, what

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Speaker 1: is it? Crocs?

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Speaker 3: Hey?

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Speaker 2: Look at that.

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Speaker 1: Not only did you forget my birthday, you've given me

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Speaker 1: the shittest gift that you could have possibly given me

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Speaker 1: because you're welcome.

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Speaker 3: I'm not wearing Should I put them on? Now?

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Speaker 1: How quickly I changed?

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Speaker 2: Are you a size ten?

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Speaker 3: Yeah?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, great, yeah big socks?

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Speaker 2: Put them on?

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Speaker 1: Turquoise in color colors on point.

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Speaker 2: I wanted something that was like still fun, not too

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Speaker 2: full on, like. I didn't want to get one of

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Speaker 2: those like really punchy colors, just something that could go

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Speaker 2: with a lot of outfits, which is why I went

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Speaker 2: for like the muted teal. I think it's called muted teal. Okay, now,

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Speaker 2: fucking put them on and tell me that's not the

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Speaker 2: most comfortable thing you've ever want to go?

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Speaker 1: Do? I wear them in regular or forward drive mode?

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Speaker 2: I go regular.

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Speaker 3: I haven't gone sports mode.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to do a couple of laps up the hallway.

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Speaker 2: They've taken for a quick spine go like, go just

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Speaker 2: in your own time, don't rush it. Ah, there he is,

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Speaker 2: he's loving it. There's smile on Ash's face right now.

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Speaker 2: He's putting them in sports move. You want to be

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Speaker 2: more stable, you want to be secure. Watching Ash turner

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Speaker 2: to someone who wants what do you think?

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Speaker 3: They look good? They look great?

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Speaker 2: Self pretending like you hate them?

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Speaker 1: Did you get me a matching Pappa jacket?

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Speaker 2: Broke the budget on the crocks.

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Speaker 1: I'll do the show in them, and then I'll give

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Speaker 1: them a score, just for the record.

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Speaker 2: Ashes continuing to wear the crocs.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to wear them for the episode and then

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Speaker 1: then i'll give them a score rating. I'll try and

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Speaker 1: barefoot after. We're not liking it with socks.

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Speaker 2: Where are they sitting right now? Out of ten They're sitting.

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Speaker 1: On the end of my feet.

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Speaker 2: But what would you score it?

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Speaker 1: It's a weird feeling, the little you're like ribbed for

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Speaker 1: my pleasure?

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Speaker 2: It is.

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Speaker 1: It's just sure or sex toys and barefoot.

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Speaker 3: It's even nice.

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Speaker 1: Well give it a go after, thank you, look, thank you.

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Speaker 1: I appreciate you gesture you are welcome. They're the actual Crocs.

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Speaker 1: You didn't even go to the cheap version with a

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Speaker 1: cheap doubt for.

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Speaker 2: Me, what's the cheap version?

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Speaker 1: I don't know. They probably have cheap.

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Speaker 3: Very expensive, very expensive for what they are.

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Speaker 1: What about that video you posted and it had like

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Speaker 1: the guy had lights.

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Speaker 2: You can get accessories if you want.

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Speaker 1: A life, people, Just that's what I say. Next week,

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Speaker 1: I'll see you and I'll have like all the accessor

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Speaker 1: they got bluetooth. Now, thelights are cheap.

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Speaker 2: They're fun. It's fun and quirky. When you're a dad,

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Speaker 2: you've got to just lean into the quirkiness anything, things

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Speaker 2: like Hawaiian shirts, things like crocs, burnstocks and socks. I'll

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Speaker 2: do that, Yeah, I fucking know you do.

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Speaker 3: Do it.

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Speaker 1: Do it everybody.

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Speaker 2: It doesn't make any sense that you draw the line

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Speaker 2: at socks and burken stocks and then you're like crocs,

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Speaker 2: what kind of fuck? And loads of wears Crocs. Mate,

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Speaker 2: you're already there, You're already there.

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Speaker 1: I'm already my own problem.

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Speaker 2: Why do you fight it so much? What happened? Something's

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Speaker 2: happened between you and crocs trauma?

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Speaker 1: Once I wore them and got really bad listers, did you.

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Speaker 1: I just don't like them anyway. Let's move on.

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Speaker 3: Let's move on.

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Speaker 1: Matthew, you've been away. Who was your trip?

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Speaker 3: Look?

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Speaker 2: Actually, if I'm going to be really honest.

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Speaker 1: Can I stop you right there? Yes, I've made an

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Speaker 1: observation about you.

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Speaker 3: What's that?

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Speaker 1: I know that you didn't have a good trip. I

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Speaker 1: know that. Do you know how? I know that because

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Speaker 1: you're the most contactable you've ever been. So you're looking

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Speaker 1: for any excuse to get out of that situation. You're like,

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Speaker 1: it rang once't You're like, how do you he? Yep, yep,

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Speaker 1: call me back in ten yep. Yeah, You've never answered

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Speaker 1: the phone so much and so regularly and so quickly.

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Speaker 2: I did that because of knowing what kind of mental

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Speaker 2: state you were in after the birthday. I wanted to

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Speaker 2: be as available as possible for you, Ash. But you're

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Speaker 2: also look, it was this trip almost broke us.

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Speaker 1: Wow.

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Speaker 2: I would say it was probably the hardest trip that

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Speaker 2: we've ever done. You know, sometimes, like every trip that

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Speaker 2: you take with a kid, it's never smooth sailing this,

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Speaker 2: right man, There's always going to be something bad that

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Speaker 2: goes wrong. But in the weight of good things, versus

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Speaker 2: hard things. I always like to think that it falls

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Speaker 2: in favor of it being like, you know, overall good,

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Speaker 2: a good trip, and this one look overall like if

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Speaker 2: I had to wait up was a good trip. There

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Speaker 2: were really nice moments. But in the middle of the trip,

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Speaker 2: I thought to myself, this is just one of those

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Speaker 2: trips that's just going to be really shit.

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Speaker 1: He's got to get through it.

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Speaker 2: It's just going to be one that we will never

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Speaker 2: speak of again. We'll have to just delete all the

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Speaker 2: photos as soon as we get back to Sydney and

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Speaker 2: we'll never speak of Maggie Island ever.

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Speaker 1: Is chaos one of those chaos holidays where you like it,

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Speaker 1: you're better off staying home. Well, you went for it.

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Speaker 1: You didn't go on a holiday. You went for a reason.

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Speaker 2: It was for Laura's dad's seventieth birthday. He lives up

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Speaker 2: north on Magnetic Island. And from the get go, you know,

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Speaker 2: when your book flights and you think what time do

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Speaker 2: I want to get there? Do I want to get

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Speaker 2: there in the afternoon and have a relaxing travel day.

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Speaker 1: It's never relaxing, though, is it.

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Speaker 2: No? And then what makes it even harder is when

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Speaker 2: you think now, actually I'll get the early flight. I'll

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Speaker 2: get the six twenty am flight, which means we get

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Speaker 2: there by lunchtime and we still have the afternoon.

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Speaker 1: Did you get the kids dress or they go in

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Speaker 1: the pajamas to the airport?

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Speaker 3: No, I went pajamas.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, how funny is it when they're walking around the

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Speaker 1: airport and yeah, so kind of jealous.

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Speaker 2: Laura and I stupidly, I don't get people who pack

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Speaker 2: like weeks in advance.

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Speaker 1: Like oh, April's or the bag he packs it in

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Speaker 1: the room for like two weeks.

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Speaker 2: But then aren't you just packing the clothest they were

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Speaker 2: going to wear? Anyway?

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Speaker 1: It tells me one thing that kids have too many clothes,

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Speaker 1: because they can go a whole two weeks bag being

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Speaker 1: packed and be completely fine. So I could just it's

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Speaker 1: essentially throw that bag out and nothing would be missed.

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Speaker 2: See, I can't envision what life would be like being that.

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Speaker 2: I'm a pretty organized guy.

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Speaker 1: You know that you love to faff about though you're

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Speaker 1: a faffer.

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Speaker 2: I'm not a faffer. You're faf it's purely the fact

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Speaker 2: that we like to talk a little bit before we

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Speaker 2: start recording for two hours, and if we spend any

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Speaker 2: longer than five minutes, you're like, well, when the fuck

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Speaker 2: are we going to do this podcast record?

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Speaker 1: I drove all the way, handsy, I'm antsy all the time.

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Speaker 2: I know you're read, you've had a coffee, you've had

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Speaker 2: now red Bull. Your anxieties at an all time high.

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Speaker 2: But we packed the night before and we were working

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Speaker 2: quite late, so we didn't get to bed till like

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Speaker 2: twelve thirty. We're up at three point thirty, and so

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Speaker 2: just you know, the morning of like fuck, we forgot

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Speaker 2: the prem which we only realized halfway to the airport,

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Speaker 2: so we couldn't turn back because we're already running late.

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Speaker 2: And just when you're operating on that much sleep, you

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Speaker 2: just you're grumpy.

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Speaker 1: Anything sets you off.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, if you like, oh baby, it's gate fifty

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Speaker 2: two and she danced and I'm like.

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Speaker 3: It's fifty two.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like, don't talk to me like that. It's

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Speaker 1: like like what all I said was just fifty That's

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Speaker 1: not how you said it. That is not how you

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Speaker 1: said it, or the opposite way, like even like old

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Speaker 1: Snap at April two, it would be like we'll get

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Speaker 1: in the car because we've done the six am flights

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Speaker 1: too before and there's mints in the car and there's it.

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Speaker 1: For some reason, it just becomes an argument if like

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Speaker 1: April gets a mint and doesn't offer me one. I'm

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Speaker 1: on and it's like, baby, it's like four am in

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Speaker 1: the morning, we're on the way to the airport.

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Speaker 2: You know, like, what would you say before when when

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Speaker 2: you're that tired and you just you're that fragile, you're

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Speaker 2: going to take it out on a person that's closest

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Speaker 2: to you, which is your partner.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, oh, absolutely all the time. It's they just copy it,

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Speaker 1: which look, it's not fair, but it's also very fair.

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Speaker 2: I did think to myself, like, that's the last pre

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Speaker 2: seven am flight I will ever get with the kids.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, because soil you got a book again, and it's

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Speaker 1: the cheapest fight. That's how jet start get Yeah, every time.

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Speaker 2: But then that night, you know, Laura and I just

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Speaker 2: couldn't wait to get the kids down. We had an

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Speaker 2: early dinner, had a shower, got into bed, and it

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Speaker 2: was like eight thirty and we're like, fuck, how good

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Speaker 2: is it?

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Speaker 3: Just the best?

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Speaker 1: When they go to bed.

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Speaker 2: Ah, You're like, and then as soon as we put

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Speaker 2: her head on the pillow, as soon as we relax,

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Speaker 2: as soon as I was just about.

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Speaker 1: To doze off, and which one.

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Speaker 2: Lola Lola and they were sharing a room. So then

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Speaker 2: Mary woke up and then Lola had a fever. Thankfully

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Speaker 2: we had the panadole, damad on, whatever it's called, Dad.

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Speaker 1: The drugs, gay with the drugs, the kids drugs.

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Speaker 2: It didn't work. Nothing was working. And she was like

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Speaker 2: my ear, my ears is Lola.

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Speaker 3: And she was just all night.

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Speaker 2: I think she probably slept the longest block was like

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Speaker 2: forty five minutes.

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Speaker 1: Holy shit, just all night.

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Speaker 2: And so we would be we like did it in

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Speaker 2: that little shift. So Laura did the first hour shift,

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Speaker 2: and then I had the next hour shift, and then

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Speaker 2: Lord of the next hour and a half. I did

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Speaker 2: the next fifteen minutes, and then Lord of the next

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Speaker 2: three hours, and then I fell asleep.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I am against that technique. I've told you this.

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Speaker 1: I've told you this. I told the listeners this before.

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Speaker 1: Two half tired people does not equal No wait, that's

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Speaker 1: not right. Okay, so two half rested people does not

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Speaker 1: equal a fully rested person.

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Speaker 2: Facts.

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Speaker 1: Hey, you know how we said we don't give advice.

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Speaker 1: We always backflip on that. That sound advice.

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Speaker 2: Okay, okay, so what would you do in this situation?

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Speaker 1: We would have gone, well, it would be I'd be

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Speaker 1: the tired one because it would be my like at

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Speaker 1: the moment, I would much rather be up all night

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Speaker 1: and let April get fully rested and Oscar can sleep

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Speaker 1: where I would usually sleep, and I would be in

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Speaker 1: with Macy or whatever. And then the next day I

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Speaker 1: would get like six am. I would be gone on

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Speaker 1: April eure up and I'm in bed, and I know, like,

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Speaker 1: it's different you're on holiday, because then you've also got

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Speaker 1: to try and enjoy yourself. But you can miss half

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Speaker 1: a morning, half a morning, mate, you get a four

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Speaker 1: hour and nap in the morning to recharge. That way,

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Speaker 1: you've got a fully rested person and a half wrested person. Bam,

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Speaker 1: I haven't mind.

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Speaker 2: Fuck I have an issue with that theory.

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Speaker 1: Okay, we're gonna have an argument. Have it out, have

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Speaker 1: it out. Let's have a duel.

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Speaker 2: See your issue or the issue that fucking thing about

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Speaker 2: you is just attack me.

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Speaker 1: It is.

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Speaker 2: It's good on paper, but the issue that we have

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Speaker 2: with that process is Lola hates me. Oh yeah, I

300
00:13:52,360 --> 00:13:54,360
Speaker 2: already knew that she hates me. She texts me and

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Speaker 2: she's like, this.

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Speaker 1: Guy getting the fuck out of my room.

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Speaker 2: Lola was there for four nights, loll up every night

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Speaker 2: except for the last one. Was just screaming all night

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00:14:05,080 --> 00:14:08,599
Speaker 2: and she screamed for mum and mum only every time that.

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Speaker 2: Laura was like, hey, can you please just go in

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Speaker 2: there and try and settle it down. I go in

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Speaker 2: there and she'd look at me and be like.

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Speaker 3: You're the wrong one. Yeah, I told you is put

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Speaker 3: a wig on start.

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Speaker 2: I didn't bring the wigs with me.

312
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Speaker 3: I left the wig box at home.

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Speaker 2: So it was just always on Laura and Laura. She

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00:14:26,720 --> 00:14:28,800
Speaker 2: would sleep for like an hour and a half from

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Speaker 2: like six am. I would take the kids for a

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Speaker 2: quick drive and get a coffee just so we're out

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Speaker 2: of the apartment. But then other than that, like it

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Speaker 2: was always on Laura, and so I was you know,

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Speaker 2: I would try and do my little bit and just

320
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Speaker 2: didn't work. It didn't work. So like Laura was just

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00:14:42,760 --> 00:14:45,240
Speaker 2: getting more and more tired because.

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Speaker 1: She's only two, right.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, so.

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Speaker 2: This ear infection very nearly derailed the entire trip.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, it's a tough one.

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Speaker 2: Every night, dude, every night, and we've had such a

327
00:14:58,040 --> 00:15:00,960
Speaker 2: good run. Probably like the last eight months, Lowe has

328
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Speaker 2: been sleeping like a champion, only occasionally when you get

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Speaker 2: up in the middle of the night.

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Speaker 1: Other than that, like no regression sucks to but like

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Speaker 1: it's something that irritates them. So like saying, Macy for

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Speaker 1: the last twelve months, mate, she'll sleep twelve hours and

333
00:15:13,640 --> 00:15:16,760
Speaker 1: that's Look, that's a shit thing to say. Because other

334
00:15:16,800 --> 00:15:19,640
Speaker 1: parents are listening, they probably kids asleep not at all,

335
00:15:19,920 --> 00:15:22,520
Speaker 1: So yes, sorry you had to hear that. But also

336
00:15:22,640 --> 00:15:25,320
Speaker 1: like the other day, yeh, because some of them her

337
00:15:25,360 --> 00:15:28,240
Speaker 1: moles were coming through awake every hour, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: I don't know how I did this with Oscar dude.

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00:15:32,960 --> 00:15:35,920
Speaker 2: Laura and I, you know, we're always depending on what

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00:15:36,000 --> 00:15:38,080
Speaker 2: day it is, we're like maybe we'll have three, maybe two,

341
00:15:38,120 --> 00:15:41,240
Speaker 2: maybe three, who knows. Off the back of those three

342
00:15:41,360 --> 00:15:45,240
Speaker 2: nights back to back with no like decent sleep for us,

343
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Speaker 2: when me and Laura were like, I was like, fuck,

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Speaker 2: having a third kid, I can like I cannot during

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Speaker 2: the day.

346
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Speaker 1: When you're like you're going to have a third and

347
00:15:53,120 --> 00:15:53,880
Speaker 1: you llab twins.

348
00:15:56,400 --> 00:15:58,520
Speaker 2: Laura had this family reunion, so we're like seeing all

349
00:15:58,520 --> 00:16:01,240
Speaker 2: these other family members and I was just standing there

350
00:16:01,280 --> 00:16:04,600
Speaker 2: at the pub just like, oh my god, it's dying.

351
00:16:04,680 --> 00:16:06,720
Speaker 2: I could barely put any words together.

352
00:16:07,240 --> 00:16:09,120
Speaker 1: It takes it out of here like they say it,

353
00:16:09,200 --> 00:16:11,280
Speaker 1: like you know when they always do those ads about like,

354
00:16:11,440 --> 00:16:14,200
Speaker 1: oh is that person driving drunk? No, they're driving died.

355
00:16:14,360 --> 00:16:20,520
Speaker 1: Anythink bullshit brah like torture. Your reaction time for everything

356
00:16:20,600 --> 00:16:23,520
Speaker 1: like is so different. Yeah.

357
00:16:23,960 --> 00:16:26,720
Speaker 2: I hated it, but then look, there were moments on

358
00:16:26,760 --> 00:16:28,920
Speaker 2: the trip that were nice, like we had a couple

359
00:16:28,920 --> 00:16:31,600
Speaker 2: of nice days at the beach. You know. I also

360
00:16:31,720 --> 00:16:34,320
Speaker 2: helped out the community on Maggie Island as well. I

361
00:16:34,360 --> 00:16:35,400
Speaker 2: don't know if you saw a.

362
00:16:35,280 --> 00:16:39,000
Speaker 1: Ash so no, this is what I saw. I saw

363
00:16:39,040 --> 00:16:41,080
Speaker 1: a tree in the middle of the road. Because it's

364
00:16:41,160 --> 00:16:41,840
Speaker 1: Maggie Island.

365
00:16:41,840 --> 00:16:44,800
Speaker 2: Apparently that hi wins high winds that day, very windy,

366
00:16:45,120 --> 00:16:47,960
Speaker 2: very windy. Yeah, so tree had fallen down the road. Yes,

367
00:16:48,160 --> 00:16:51,280
Speaker 2: you're right, continued and you posted happy to roll my

368
00:16:51,360 --> 00:16:56,680
Speaker 2: sleeves up and help out filming someone actually doing the work. Yeah,

369
00:16:56,760 --> 00:17:00,160
Speaker 2: we'll share the chainsaw.

370
00:17:00,200 --> 00:17:01,200
Speaker 1: Were you helping out?

371
00:17:01,280 --> 00:17:03,359
Speaker 2: I didn't have the chainsaw because.

372
00:17:03,120 --> 00:17:05,119
Speaker 1: You were going you know what I'm going to do, sweetheart,

373
00:17:05,320 --> 00:17:07,640
Speaker 1: I'm going to film you I'm going to get clout

374
00:17:07,680 --> 00:17:09,000
Speaker 1: from it and.

375
00:17:09,000 --> 00:17:10,440
Speaker 3: Say that I'm helping you out.

376
00:17:10,520 --> 00:17:16,440
Speaker 2: I moved too, and look look look at that.

377
00:17:16,440 --> 00:17:20,040
Speaker 1: That's from wanking. That's ribbed for your pleasure.

378
00:17:20,200 --> 00:17:21,760
Speaker 2: She was a local and she was in front of

379
00:17:21,840 --> 00:17:23,120
Speaker 2: us and the She's just like.

380
00:17:23,520 --> 00:17:25,480
Speaker 1: Two seconds in the yeat mate.

381
00:17:25,520 --> 00:17:27,920
Speaker 2: She's like, just I'm going to chop down this here.

382
00:17:28,080 --> 00:17:30,120
Speaker 2: How are you city slecker? And I was like, excuse

383
00:17:30,160 --> 00:17:32,359
Speaker 2: me in my crocs. I don't appreciate being called that.

384
00:17:33,200 --> 00:17:34,080
Speaker 2: I am a country boyer.

385
00:17:34,200 --> 00:17:35,400
Speaker 1: Still there's steel toe.

386
00:17:36,880 --> 00:17:39,119
Speaker 2: She was cutting them down. We're just a team. We

387
00:17:39,240 --> 00:17:41,359
Speaker 2: just got each other. It was just it was this

388
00:17:41,440 --> 00:17:42,800
Speaker 2: camaraderie of two queens.

389
00:17:43,280 --> 00:17:45,679
Speaker 1: When I would ring, you be like get I hang on,

390
00:17:45,920 --> 00:17:52,000
Speaker 1: I'm like, hey mate, yes, hello, back to your usual

391
00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:52,720
Speaker 1: Sydney cell.

392
00:17:53,200 --> 00:17:57,960
Speaker 2: We we spoke about last episode. It was that times ten.

393
00:17:58,000 --> 00:17:59,600
Speaker 2: I was at the pub and like North Queens and

394
00:17:59,680 --> 00:18:02,960
Speaker 2: will play with the rugby and I was like, oh ship,

395
00:18:03,040 --> 00:18:06,280
Speaker 2: we're in trouble here boys. It's not looking good at halftime?

396
00:18:06,400 --> 00:18:07,960
Speaker 1: Is it a Brisbane fan?

397
00:18:10,520 --> 00:18:16,360
Speaker 2: As I like stood there in my crocs and.

398
00:18:14,560 --> 00:18:18,119
Speaker 1: I rolled up Chino's on your Paffa jacket, only a

399
00:18:18,119 --> 00:18:19,280
Speaker 1: bit hot for the Papa jacket.

400
00:18:19,400 --> 00:18:22,200
Speaker 2: Hey, but one observation or two observations that I've made

401
00:18:22,640 --> 00:18:27,080
Speaker 2: about Queensland. North Queensland people very friendly.

402
00:18:26,840 --> 00:18:29,960
Speaker 3: Sult of the earth, very friendly.

403
00:18:34,040 --> 00:18:38,359
Speaker 2: Just everyone's lovely. Look I know, taxi driver.

404
00:18:38,600 --> 00:18:41,399
Speaker 1: But they've also you've got two different types of people

405
00:18:41,400 --> 00:18:44,240
Speaker 1: from a rural town, the really really nice ones and

406
00:18:44,280 --> 00:18:46,600
Speaker 1: the ones who hate out of town is there's nothing

407
00:18:46,640 --> 00:18:49,800
Speaker 1: in between. You notice you've got the nicest guy gives

408
00:18:49,800 --> 00:18:53,040
Speaker 1: you directions and a bottle of cold water. Great, then

409
00:18:53,080 --> 00:18:57,320
Speaker 1: you got old mat It's like lookally fucking steady.

410
00:18:56,720 --> 00:19:00,240
Speaker 2: Look crap. Well there is a bit of that Ongi

411
00:19:00,320 --> 00:19:03,320
Speaker 2: Island because you know people who live there like Maggie

412
00:19:03,359 --> 00:19:04,200
Speaker 2: to be quiet.

413
00:19:04,240 --> 00:19:06,920
Speaker 1: They don't want too many or you don't move there.

414
00:19:06,920 --> 00:19:09,400
Speaker 1: For the scene.

415
00:19:09,440 --> 00:19:12,480
Speaker 2: People people were coming up and asking me for directions

416
00:19:13,280 --> 00:19:15,160
Speaker 2: because they could just they looked at me, They looked

417
00:19:15,160 --> 00:19:18,399
Speaker 2: at me ash, They looked at this rugged bloke and

418
00:19:18,440 --> 00:19:21,679
Speaker 2: they thought, this guy looks like a Queenslander and he

419
00:19:21,760 --> 00:19:22,320
Speaker 2: looks like a.

420
00:19:22,280 --> 00:19:24,840
Speaker 1: Local wearing your father in law's a couber, and are

421
00:19:24,920 --> 00:19:26,200
Speaker 1: and Williams around.

422
00:19:26,040 --> 00:19:28,440
Speaker 2: And they'd say they'd be like, hey, where is Picnic

423
00:19:28,480 --> 00:19:30,880
Speaker 2: bayh Like picnic.

424
00:19:30,960 --> 00:19:34,760
Speaker 1: Would just get my phone out and check. Can't they

425
00:19:34,800 --> 00:19:35,800
Speaker 1: google it themselves?

426
00:19:36,280 --> 00:19:40,560
Speaker 2: But something I noticed ash is that in North Queensland,

427
00:19:41,280 --> 00:19:46,200
Speaker 2: in particular that area of the world, not many young

428
00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:49,160
Speaker 2: adults are wearing budget Smugglers. I don't know if you've

429
00:19:49,160 --> 00:19:52,280
Speaker 2: noticed that. Never been well, only one of us is

430
00:19:52,320 --> 00:19:53,400
Speaker 2: well troubled enough to.

431
00:19:53,840 --> 00:19:59,880
Speaker 1: Look where I'm poor, So I cried poor on every podcast.

432
00:20:00,840 --> 00:20:02,119
Speaker 1: There's a go fund me in the bottom.

433
00:20:05,080 --> 00:20:07,440
Speaker 2: Yeah, obviously I didn't want to stand out too much.

434
00:20:07,680 --> 00:20:08,480
Speaker 2: I had the crucks on.

435
00:20:08,680 --> 00:20:10,800
Speaker 1: Were you wearing the budget Smugglers with my face?

436
00:20:11,000 --> 00:20:11,720
Speaker 3: Absolutely not?

437
00:20:11,840 --> 00:20:15,040
Speaker 2: Why? Yes, because they're too it's too like they're too

438
00:20:15,080 --> 00:20:16,840
Speaker 2: pink and they've got a guy's face all over. We

439
00:20:16,920 --> 00:20:17,240
Speaker 2: know of it.

440
00:20:17,280 --> 00:20:18,760
Speaker 3: That shows your commitment to me.

441
00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:22,600
Speaker 2: No, I wore the Simpsons mooming ones. I did see that,

442
00:20:22,800 --> 00:20:26,280
Speaker 2: and We're at this beautiful beach and I thought, I'm

443
00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:28,760
Speaker 2: going to get the budge of smugglers out. Not a

444
00:20:28,800 --> 00:20:32,919
Speaker 2: single person at all was wearing budget Smugglers except for

445
00:20:33,160 --> 00:20:35,879
Speaker 2: there was like a seventy year old man and like

446
00:20:35,920 --> 00:20:38,400
Speaker 2: another guy maybe like in his like eighties.

447
00:20:39,200 --> 00:20:42,080
Speaker 1: They're in budgies just like you just edged over to

448
00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:45,719
Speaker 1: them like I'm one of you now found my people.

449
00:20:45,960 --> 00:20:48,639
Speaker 2: Well, I don't get what in Queensland. North Queensland is it.

450
00:20:48,640 --> 00:20:50,359
Speaker 1: I think they've got a problem with showing too much skin.

451
00:20:51,040 --> 00:20:54,840
Speaker 1: They go for like the knee knee slappers, board shorts, yeah,

452
00:20:55,080 --> 00:20:57,199
Speaker 1: I don't know, do a pole, yeah, I want to.

453
00:20:57,200 --> 00:21:00,400
Speaker 2: Know if you're from North Queensland or even like look

454
00:21:00,560 --> 00:21:02,080
Speaker 2: anything north of gold Cospidos.

455
00:21:02,119 --> 00:21:04,400
Speaker 1: It's kind of like there was always a stigma right

456
00:21:04,680 --> 00:21:07,560
Speaker 1: growing up. It's just whether you grew out of the

457
00:21:07,560 --> 00:21:09,920
Speaker 1: stigma or not. And maybe it just hasn't reached them yet.

458
00:21:10,040 --> 00:21:11,760
Speaker 1: Maybe we need to do some campaigning.

459
00:21:11,880 --> 00:21:13,840
Speaker 2: I want to let them know that it's okay.

460
00:21:14,040 --> 00:21:16,359
Speaker 1: It's okay people to see you bulge.

461
00:21:16,600 --> 00:21:22,240
Speaker 2: Things that are okay bulge, bulge, budget smugglers, crocs, puffer vests,

462
00:21:22,320 --> 00:21:24,440
Speaker 2: oh my god, anything else you want to add to

463
00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:24,840
Speaker 2: that list.

464
00:21:25,040 --> 00:21:26,520
Speaker 1: Let me ever think about it. I'm sure i'll find

465
00:21:26,560 --> 00:21:27,840
Speaker 1: something and I hate.

466
00:21:27,720 --> 00:21:30,119
Speaker 2: Before we go on to the points that you want

467
00:21:30,160 --> 00:21:32,840
Speaker 2: to raise, Ash, I also have another question as well.

468
00:21:32,920 --> 00:21:35,720
Speaker 2: Here another thing that I've noticed.

469
00:21:35,600 --> 00:21:36,480
Speaker 3: Before we move on.

470
00:21:36,600 --> 00:21:39,080
Speaker 1: Yes, we'll start a campaign for more budget smugglers in

471
00:21:39,119 --> 00:21:40,320
Speaker 1: North Queensland.

472
00:21:41,080 --> 00:21:43,840
Speaker 2: Okay, maybe there's like a lack of supply. Maybe they

473
00:21:43,880 --> 00:21:46,040
Speaker 2: need to like send up a shipping container full of them.

474
00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:47,159
Speaker 1: Well, let's take care of that.

475
00:21:47,160 --> 00:21:49,119
Speaker 2: Maybe they were looking at me being like.

476
00:21:49,119 --> 00:21:50,560
Speaker 3: I should send a bunch of the ones with my

477
00:21:50,720 --> 00:21:51,320
Speaker 3: face on it.

478
00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:53,840
Speaker 1: Oh God, if you want a pair of budget smuggles

479
00:21:53,880 --> 00:21:54,640
Speaker 1: with my face on it?

480
00:21:55,040 --> 00:21:56,040
Speaker 2: Are you selling them yet?

481
00:21:56,240 --> 00:21:59,720
Speaker 1: Nah? They're not for sale. Only special people have them.

482
00:22:00,040 --> 00:22:01,840
Speaker 1: I gave you someone. You don't even wear them. You

483
00:22:01,880 --> 00:22:04,080
Speaker 1: war them down at icebergs that time, and you've got

484
00:22:04,200 --> 00:22:05,960
Speaker 1: so many women hitting on you on it, and you

485
00:22:06,080 --> 00:22:08,119
Speaker 1: still thought they're in a box here somewhere.

486
00:22:08,119 --> 00:22:09,800
Speaker 2: I don't know they're in the house. I'm not sure

487
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:10,359
Speaker 2: where they are.

488
00:22:10,640 --> 00:22:11,960
Speaker 1: I don't think you last story.

489
00:22:11,720 --> 00:22:13,800
Speaker 2: Before I go on One thing that I would love

490
00:22:13,840 --> 00:22:17,800
Speaker 2: to know another question. Just really, I'm very philosophical at

491
00:22:17,800 --> 00:22:20,520
Speaker 2: the moment. Why is the world the way that it is?

492
00:22:21,320 --> 00:22:23,520
Speaker 2: So flying back? Oh, car on my teeth?

493
00:22:25,000 --> 00:22:27,520
Speaker 1: Oh, I need to see a dentist. It's been like

494
00:22:27,560 --> 00:22:30,520
Speaker 1: eight years and into the dentist anyway, go Jesus, I've

495
00:22:30,560 --> 00:22:31,720
Speaker 1: been to the dentist because.

496
00:22:31,480 --> 00:22:33,840
Speaker 2: Why because you're fucking got their money? Kind of fut

497
00:22:33,880 --> 00:22:36,359
Speaker 2: any healthcaret okay?

498
00:22:36,400 --> 00:22:39,720
Speaker 1: Well a swipe at me, then, I can. Why don't

499
00:22:39,720 --> 00:22:40,240
Speaker 1: you do you know what?

500
00:22:40,280 --> 00:22:42,479
Speaker 2: You should have to clean my teeth with sand and grabbing?

501
00:22:44,080 --> 00:22:45,680
Speaker 3: Do you know what people aren't going to appreciate?

502
00:22:45,760 --> 00:22:46,200
Speaker 2: What's that?

503
00:22:46,480 --> 00:22:52,080
Speaker 1: You making fun of my financial situation? It's just distasteful.

504
00:22:53,840 --> 00:22:56,760
Speaker 2: Why pretending like you're fucking on welfare.

505
00:22:59,000 --> 00:23:03,120
Speaker 1: I've got some news to share. No, I just look,

506
00:23:03,160 --> 00:23:05,120
Speaker 1: I don't like dentists. I don't believe in them. I'm

507
00:23:05,119 --> 00:23:06,119
Speaker 1: an anti DENTI what.

508
00:23:06,119 --> 00:23:07,480
Speaker 2: Do you mean you don't believe in it?

509
00:23:07,960 --> 00:23:09,480
Speaker 3: I think they're just trying to take your money.

510
00:23:09,760 --> 00:23:13,040
Speaker 1: I went for a filling like eight years ago and

511
00:23:13,080 --> 00:23:16,000
Speaker 1: they were like, you need a root canal, And I said, listen, here, lady,

512
00:23:16,359 --> 00:23:18,760
Speaker 1: you fill it up, and if I need it, I'll

513
00:23:18,800 --> 00:23:21,320
Speaker 1: come back and I'll get it. That was seven years ago.

514
00:23:21,600 --> 00:23:23,720
Speaker 2: So if but then you just say it really hurts,

515
00:23:23,760 --> 00:23:24,680
Speaker 2: I need to see a dentist.

516
00:23:24,800 --> 00:23:27,160
Speaker 1: That's a different tooth. The cycle continues.

517
00:23:28,200 --> 00:23:31,720
Speaker 2: So you think you've outsmarted a dentist. Yeah, based on

518
00:23:31,960 --> 00:23:34,440
Speaker 2: on like, on what kind of diagnosis did you give yourself?

519
00:23:34,440 --> 00:23:35,840
Speaker 2: How did you know you didn't need a root canal?

520
00:23:36,600 --> 00:23:40,000
Speaker 1: I just looked in her eyes. I just looked in

521
00:23:40,040 --> 00:23:40,800
Speaker 1: her eyes, and I was.

522
00:23:40,800 --> 00:23:42,520
Speaker 2: Like she's trying to take me for a ride.

523
00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:46,600
Speaker 1: You're lying hm, And they're like, we just need to

524
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:48,600
Speaker 1: take that's what they took, you know, because they charge

525
00:23:48,640 --> 00:23:49,640
Speaker 1: you for every X ray.

526
00:23:49,520 --> 00:23:52,360
Speaker 2: Right, Yeah, So she was I need another X ray?

527
00:23:52,800 --> 00:23:53,639
Speaker 3: You need another X ray?

528
00:23:53,720 --> 00:23:54,800
Speaker 1: Like, no, we don't fill it up.

529
00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:57,160
Speaker 2: I wonder if that's the first time that she's ever

530
00:23:57,200 --> 00:23:58,680
Speaker 2: been questioned, or I wonder if that's something that a

531
00:23:58,720 --> 00:24:00,600
Speaker 2: lot of dentists face, like we need to.

532
00:24:00,520 --> 00:24:03,959
Speaker 1: Remove so many people just be like, oh yes, doctor, yes, okay,

533
00:24:04,320 --> 00:24:04,960
Speaker 1: it's bullshit.

534
00:24:05,880 --> 00:24:10,680
Speaker 2: Anyway, So you learned something your every day. I know

535
00:24:10,800 --> 00:24:13,639
Speaker 2: that I can't wait for when you have like a

536
00:24:13,640 --> 00:24:16,280
Speaker 2: really serious injury and the like, Ash, We're so sorry

537
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:19,760
Speaker 2: we have to remove your left leg. They don't stitch

538
00:24:19,800 --> 00:24:20,960
Speaker 2: it up. It's fine, stitch it up.

539
00:24:21,000 --> 00:24:21,840
Speaker 3: What does that hang there?

540
00:24:22,280 --> 00:24:25,919
Speaker 2: Ash, We're sorry you are paraplegic, and you're like, no,

541
00:24:25,920 --> 00:24:31,040
Speaker 2: I'm not. Try and get off the bed. Look, I'm fine.

542
00:24:31,680 --> 00:24:32,840
Speaker 2: You guys are fucking idiots.

543
00:24:33,640 --> 00:24:35,960
Speaker 1: It's such a man thing to not like not admit

544
00:24:36,000 --> 00:24:38,280
Speaker 1: that you're Is.

545
00:24:38,280 --> 00:24:40,399
Speaker 2: It because it was a female dentist? Is that the

546
00:24:40,440 --> 00:24:41,199
Speaker 2: problems is.

547
00:24:41,200 --> 00:24:43,639
Speaker 1: That you don't believe that I can't believe someone of.

548
00:24:43,600 --> 00:24:45,360
Speaker 2: The opposite sex is able to be in a position

549
00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:48,600
Speaker 2: with that type of education. Is that That's what I'm

550
00:24:48,600 --> 00:24:50,680
Speaker 2: picking up here, now, that's what I'm is.

551
00:24:51,000 --> 00:24:51,760
Speaker 3: That's not correct me.

552
00:24:51,760 --> 00:24:53,399
Speaker 2: If I'm wrong, you can assume you don't want to

553
00:24:53,400 --> 00:24:55,440
Speaker 2: take any type of instruction from a female.

554
00:24:55,560 --> 00:25:04,239
Speaker 1: No Ah all Right asked me. No, I was like,

555
00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:06,560
Speaker 1: she's probably very educated.

556
00:25:06,720 --> 00:25:11,560
Speaker 2: What do you mean, probably, of course educated.

557
00:25:11,640 --> 00:25:12,479
Speaker 1: You know what she was.

558
00:25:12,600 --> 00:25:13,760
Speaker 3: She was a shit salesman.

559
00:25:13,760 --> 00:25:17,720
Speaker 1: That's what she was. Just teeth salesmen.

560
00:25:17,880 --> 00:25:21,200
Speaker 2: It's not a question of like, well, probably, yeah.

561
00:25:21,240 --> 00:25:23,399
Speaker 1: I'm sure they've got your bent over a barrel, because

562
00:25:23,800 --> 00:25:26,199
Speaker 1: not like every other bone in your body, like you

563
00:25:26,240 --> 00:25:27,920
Speaker 1: can see your teeth, right.

564
00:25:27,800 --> 00:25:29,240
Speaker 3: Okay, so they've got your bent open.

565
00:25:29,280 --> 00:25:31,080
Speaker 1: Not only are you in pain, but people have to

566
00:25:31,080 --> 00:25:32,720
Speaker 1: look at it too, So they've got you in all

567
00:25:32,760 --> 00:25:36,359
Speaker 1: these different situations. They're just shitty teeth salesmen. That's what

568
00:25:36,480 --> 00:25:41,200
Speaker 1: dentists are. They should change it, doctor teeth salesman. That's

569
00:25:41,200 --> 00:25:41,640
Speaker 1: what I think.

570
00:25:41,680 --> 00:25:45,200
Speaker 2: Have you ever questioned a mechanic with your can't I.

571
00:25:45,160 --> 00:25:53,040
Speaker 1: Never take my card mechanic fixing. I'm too poor. I

572
00:25:53,160 --> 00:25:55,640
Speaker 1: just let it break down. No, I had to take

573
00:25:55,680 --> 00:25:59,679
Speaker 1: my card mechanic. They're just as bad. Essentially, dentists are

574
00:25:59,680 --> 00:26:05,520
Speaker 1: just mechanics. Let's move on. Sorry, okay, I'm assuming there

575
00:26:05,520 --> 00:26:07,200
Speaker 1: wouldn't be a lot of teeth in North Queensland.

576
00:26:09,280 --> 00:26:16,639
Speaker 2: How dare you disrespect my homeland like that? Okay, go on, Sorry,

577
00:26:16,720 --> 00:26:21,000
Speaker 2: I'm actually from South Australia. Originally makes it even worse.

578
00:26:21,080 --> 00:26:23,240
Speaker 1: A guy lives in Sydney who's from South Australia claims

579
00:26:23,240 --> 00:26:24,000
Speaker 1: to be Queensland.

580
00:26:25,800 --> 00:26:29,679
Speaker 2: Okay. Then my question is we're flying back and Mallie

581
00:26:29,920 --> 00:26:33,120
Speaker 2: rarely sleeps during the day now her nap is no more.

582
00:26:33,760 --> 00:26:35,840
Speaker 2: But she fell asleep. It was like, I think we

583
00:26:35,840 --> 00:26:37,600
Speaker 2: had like a ten o'clock flight. She fell asleep. It

584
00:26:37,640 --> 00:26:38,399
Speaker 2: was two and a half hours.

585
00:26:38,400 --> 00:26:40,240
Speaker 3: So I was like, did she sleep the whole time?

586
00:26:40,840 --> 00:26:41,679
Speaker 2: The last hour?

587
00:26:41,960 --> 00:26:42,480
Speaker 1: Still good?

588
00:26:42,520 --> 00:26:44,160
Speaker 2: And then they kind of made the announcement that plane

589
00:26:44,160 --> 00:26:46,280
Speaker 2: is preparing for landing, like please buckle up and like

590
00:26:46,400 --> 00:26:49,119
Speaker 2: window shades up. She was on my lap and the

591
00:26:49,280 --> 00:26:51,680
Speaker 2: arm rest was up, and then she said arm rest

592
00:26:51,720 --> 00:26:55,439
Speaker 2: has got to go up and I said why and

593
00:26:55,480 --> 00:26:57,359
Speaker 2: she's like, well, because we're preparing.

594
00:26:56,960 --> 00:26:59,400
Speaker 1: For land But I just questioning professional.

595
00:27:01,440 --> 00:27:03,600
Speaker 2: But I was like, but for what reason, like, how

596
00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:05,000
Speaker 2: do you justify the armrests?

597
00:27:05,040 --> 00:27:06,520
Speaker 1: Like, sir, the plane can't land.

598
00:27:06,960 --> 00:27:08,960
Speaker 3: It's funny. It's funny because you've sat in the seat where.

599
00:27:08,800 --> 00:27:12,840
Speaker 1: The arm wrest controls the wheels, so you need to

600
00:27:12,960 --> 00:27:15,480
Speaker 1: push it down until the wheels can come out.

601
00:27:15,600 --> 00:27:17,439
Speaker 2: And I didn't want to be making a scene, but

602
00:27:17,480 --> 00:27:19,440
Speaker 2: I was because I didn't want to wake Marley.

603
00:27:19,520 --> 00:27:21,320
Speaker 1: How did you wake her up and ask you that? Well, no,

604
00:27:21,400 --> 00:27:24,040
Speaker 1: I did you ever think to be like, we're going down,

605
00:27:24,480 --> 00:27:25,200
Speaker 1: we're going.

606
00:27:25,040 --> 00:27:29,919
Speaker 2: Down, put the armrest down. The plane just said tracks

607
00:27:29,960 --> 00:27:35,360
Speaker 2: back up. That's like, thank god, I lied, and I said, oh, yeah,

608
00:27:35,359 --> 00:27:36,919
Speaker 2: I'll wake her up in just a second, because they

609
00:27:36,960 --> 00:27:38,840
Speaker 2: did two walks down. If you can make it past

610
00:27:38,880 --> 00:27:40,960
Speaker 2: the two walks, then they got to strap themselves in,

611
00:27:41,240 --> 00:27:42,840
Speaker 2: so then you can fucking do whatever you want.

612
00:27:42,920 --> 00:27:44,280
Speaker 1: Get up and have a party if you want.

613
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:45,920
Speaker 2: Yeah, and they can't stop you because they're gonna be

614
00:27:45,920 --> 00:27:48,200
Speaker 2: in their seats. I kind of half put it down

615
00:27:48,400 --> 00:27:51,399
Speaker 2: as she walked past, and then I went, oh, I put.

616
00:27:51,240 --> 00:27:52,600
Speaker 1: It back up, and then the wheels of the plane

617
00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:53,200
Speaker 1: went back up.

618
00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:56,159
Speaker 2: It was an awful land. I never had anything more

619
00:27:56,320 --> 00:27:56,960
Speaker 2: rough in my life.

620
00:27:57,040 --> 00:27:58,240
Speaker 1: Graped along the tarmac.

621
00:27:58,320 --> 00:28:00,840
Speaker 2: But surely there's like, come on, like, we can at

622
00:28:00,920 --> 00:28:03,560
Speaker 2: least let the parents. Let parents out there with a

623
00:28:03,560 --> 00:28:05,440
Speaker 2: sleeping child, have the arm rest up.

624
00:28:05,600 --> 00:28:06,959
Speaker 1: It's a safety concern, Matthew.

625
00:28:07,119 --> 00:28:08,360
Speaker 3: Seatbelts don't need them.

626
00:28:08,520 --> 00:28:10,639
Speaker 1: The most useless seatbelts. Now, what's the point you might

627
00:28:10,680 --> 00:28:12,080
Speaker 1: as we have to rub a band around.

628
00:28:12,080 --> 00:28:16,960
Speaker 2: My fucker is going down. We're all fucked, I know,

629
00:28:17,200 --> 00:28:18,679
Speaker 2: so let us not put some bets on.

630
00:28:18,840 --> 00:28:21,600
Speaker 1: Don't try and help me live. I just want to

631
00:28:21,640 --> 00:28:23,800
Speaker 1: die as quickly as possible. Why are they trying to

632
00:28:23,840 --> 00:28:27,600
Speaker 1: put things in place where it's like, look, you're gonna

633
00:28:27,640 --> 00:28:31,119
Speaker 1: die regardless, but this way you'll slow it down.

634
00:28:31,359 --> 00:28:33,160
Speaker 2: You'll suffer a little bit. Just pull the trigger, which

635
00:28:33,240 --> 00:28:34,280
Speaker 2: is safety.

636
00:28:34,520 --> 00:28:38,040
Speaker 1: You'll suffer. Just get it done. If they were like

637
00:28:38,080 --> 00:28:43,840
Speaker 1: we're going down, I'd stand up just before.

638
00:28:43,520 --> 00:28:45,280
Speaker 3: We hit the water, I would try and jump up.

639
00:28:49,400 --> 00:28:51,040
Speaker 1: Gotcha, gravity.

640
00:28:51,840 --> 00:28:55,720
Speaker 2: We have three hundred and twenty passengers dead, one survivor,

641
00:28:55,960 --> 00:28:58,000
Speaker 2: not a single injury. What did you do?

642
00:28:58,320 --> 00:29:01,840
Speaker 1: He figured it out. I just jumped, jumped with it precise.

643
00:29:01,880 --> 00:29:04,479
Speaker 1: He's been practicing it for years. As soon as they

644
00:29:04,520 --> 00:29:06,880
Speaker 1: hear a foot above the water or the ground, he

645
00:29:07,000 --> 00:29:11,520
Speaker 1: jumps lands safely every time. Anyway, that's me done, that's

646
00:29:11,560 --> 00:29:12,120
Speaker 1: you done.

647
00:29:13,280 --> 00:29:13,880
Speaker 2: What do you got?

648
00:29:14,520 --> 00:29:18,000
Speaker 1: I didn't have as quite as exciting week as you like.

649
00:29:18,040 --> 00:29:20,640
Speaker 2: We don't call it exciting, mate, it was punishment. It

650
00:29:20,680 --> 00:29:24,000
Speaker 2: was torture. Sorry I continue, Oh well, some people can't

651
00:29:24,040 --> 00:29:24,560
Speaker 2: afford to go on.

652
00:29:26,840 --> 00:29:30,160
Speaker 1: Every second week. Yeah, so I didn't have quite as

653
00:29:30,200 --> 00:29:34,280
Speaker 1: a fun filled week as we spoke about last week.

654
00:29:34,440 --> 00:29:39,000
Speaker 1: Sickness in my house keeps going around and going around.

655
00:29:38,920 --> 00:29:41,840
Speaker 2: Poor, and you're sick, look pressing.

656
00:29:41,920 --> 00:29:46,480
Speaker 1: I'm pretty much live in the Great Depression. The life

657
00:29:46,520 --> 00:29:49,400
Speaker 1: expectancy in my house is like thirty five. I've only

658
00:29:49,400 --> 00:29:50,600
Speaker 1: got a couple of good years left.

659
00:29:51,040 --> 00:29:52,800
Speaker 2: The horse and cart that he parked out the front and.

660
00:29:54,520 --> 00:30:00,320
Speaker 1: Yeah it's vintage. So you're sick, so not me out

661
00:30:00,320 --> 00:30:02,239
Speaker 1: and hard to take down. I always tell people I'm

662
00:30:02,240 --> 00:30:03,960
Speaker 1: sick when I don't want to go somewhere, so they

663
00:30:03,960 --> 00:30:06,400
Speaker 1: probably listen to this now going, So you lied to us. Yes,

664
00:30:06,680 --> 00:30:09,200
Speaker 1: I don't get to set that kids going back and

665
00:30:09,200 --> 00:30:11,360
Speaker 1: forth from Kindy days on days on TV. But what

666
00:30:11,400 --> 00:30:15,080
Speaker 1: I want to talk about is when I get a

667
00:30:15,200 --> 00:30:17,960
Speaker 1: little piece of paper home from Kindy, when it's a

668
00:30:18,160 --> 00:30:21,640
Speaker 1: birthday party invite for some kid I've never met, and

669
00:30:21,680 --> 00:30:25,360
Speaker 1: my wife's like, so Sunday, one o'clock, we've got to

670
00:30:25,400 --> 00:30:27,560
Speaker 1: go to this person. I'm not going to say their name.

671
00:30:27,640 --> 00:30:29,960
Speaker 1: This person's birthday, you can take him. We're going to

672
00:30:29,960 --> 00:30:32,280
Speaker 1: get a present. Never met this kid, I don't know

673
00:30:32,280 --> 00:30:32,760
Speaker 1: who he is.

674
00:30:33,560 --> 00:30:36,440
Speaker 2: How many of the kids at Oscar's daycare have you

675
00:30:36,480 --> 00:30:37,320
Speaker 2: actually met? Though?

676
00:30:38,440 --> 00:30:41,480
Speaker 1: Just the cool ones, just the ones I know. I'm

677
00:30:41,480 --> 00:30:44,240
Speaker 1: not walking around introducing myself to four year olds. That'd

678
00:30:44,280 --> 00:30:45,160
Speaker 1: be fucking weird.

679
00:30:47,000 --> 00:30:49,520
Speaker 2: Hi, Stewart, love me to make it. How was your weekend?

680
00:30:49,720 --> 00:30:49,760
Speaker 1: No?

681
00:30:49,880 --> 00:30:51,640
Speaker 2: I Actually I have a couple of favorites. When I

682
00:30:51,640 --> 00:30:54,000
Speaker 2: pick up Marley. Yeah, one kid called Ross. Ross always

683
00:30:54,000 --> 00:30:56,280
Speaker 2: comes and has a chat. I always tell me, tells

684
00:30:56,320 --> 00:30:57,240
Speaker 2: me what he's having for dinner.

685
00:30:57,280 --> 00:30:58,560
Speaker 1: A four year old named Ross.

686
00:30:58,640 --> 00:31:01,640
Speaker 2: Yeah, reason not to night And I'm like, fuck yeah Ross.

687
00:31:01,520 --> 00:31:03,320
Speaker 3: Yeah, Yeah, I get there.

688
00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:04,240
Speaker 2: That's epic.

689
00:31:04,440 --> 00:31:08,000
Speaker 1: But like getting my gripe here is I get like?

690
00:31:08,040 --> 00:31:12,160
Speaker 1: They invite the whole class. Why I don't know you?

691
00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:14,080
Speaker 1: Not only do I not know you, I don't even

692
00:31:14,080 --> 00:31:16,880
Speaker 1: know your parents. Because I'm going to a stranger's house

693
00:31:16,920 --> 00:31:17,880
Speaker 1: and giving them something.

694
00:31:17,920 --> 00:31:21,680
Speaker 2: Because Oscar could be best mates with this individual. No,

695
00:31:22,360 --> 00:31:23,480
Speaker 2: they spend every day together.

696
00:31:23,680 --> 00:31:27,680
Speaker 1: I said to Oscar, who is this kid? He was like, oh.

697
00:31:27,880 --> 00:31:30,200
Speaker 2: I was like, Askar doesn't know what fucking date is.

698
00:31:30,400 --> 00:31:35,360
Speaker 1: But anyway, we're getting back to sickness. And day of

699
00:31:35,400 --> 00:31:38,400
Speaker 1: the party, agg was gone out bought this kid a present.

700
00:31:39,040 --> 00:31:40,160
Speaker 2: Okay, what's your budget?

701
00:31:40,560 --> 00:31:42,760
Speaker 1: I don't know. I separated myself from because I think

702
00:31:42,760 --> 00:31:43,880
Speaker 1: it's all ridiculous.

703
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:45,960
Speaker 2: You're thinking, oh, we're not going to eat for two nights.

704
00:31:46,720 --> 00:31:49,360
Speaker 2: Just spent the last last of us savings on this present.

705
00:31:49,400 --> 00:31:56,080
Speaker 1: Beans for dinner kids again, beans and dust ah. And

706
00:31:56,320 --> 00:31:58,800
Speaker 1: it comes to the day of the party and Oscar's

707
00:31:58,960 --> 00:32:00,640
Speaker 1: got conjunctive artists, so.

708
00:32:00,560 --> 00:32:03,840
Speaker 2: We can't go real conjunct diviners or yeah no, no, no, no,

709
00:32:04,120 --> 00:32:06,680
Speaker 2: yeah yeah yeah because Macy had conjunct dividers.

710
00:32:06,760 --> 00:32:10,040
Speaker 1: Yeah yeah, it's spreads, it's spread. And I'm like, Beauty,

711
00:32:10,400 --> 00:32:13,200
Speaker 1: don't have to go to this shitty party. I don't

712
00:32:13,280 --> 00:32:15,840
Speaker 1: know anyone or the kid or who it is, where

713
00:32:15,880 --> 00:32:16,240
Speaker 1: they live.

714
00:32:16,720 --> 00:32:18,480
Speaker 2: Don't tell me that April made you go and drop

715
00:32:18,520 --> 00:32:19,080
Speaker 2: off the present.

716
00:32:19,320 --> 00:32:22,800
Speaker 1: No, no, no, we're getting there. Monday comes around and

717
00:32:22,880 --> 00:32:25,640
Speaker 1: he was like, don't forget the present for the kid.

718
00:32:26,480 --> 00:32:27,360
Speaker 2: To bring the daycare.

719
00:32:27,600 --> 00:32:30,880
Speaker 1: Yes, okay, sorry, okay, don't forget to take the present

720
00:32:30,960 --> 00:32:32,920
Speaker 1: with you when you do the drop off. For give

721
00:32:32,960 --> 00:32:34,840
Speaker 1: it to the teachers to give to the parents to

722
00:32:34,880 --> 00:32:38,160
Speaker 1: give to the kid. The kid I don't even know you.

723
00:32:38,200 --> 00:32:40,360
Speaker 2: Got, but you spent the last of your savings on

724
00:32:40,400 --> 00:32:41,320
Speaker 2: the gift. Give it to the kid.

725
00:32:41,440 --> 00:32:44,840
Speaker 1: No. No, I just because we had a card on

726
00:32:44,880 --> 00:32:46,280
Speaker 1: top of how the kid's name. I just took the

727
00:32:46,320 --> 00:32:48,360
Speaker 1: card off bin that. Now we've got a president at

728
00:32:48,360 --> 00:32:50,800
Speaker 1: home for the next party. I've saved it.

729
00:32:51,000 --> 00:32:51,880
Speaker 2: You are fucking.

730
00:32:54,360 --> 00:32:56,760
Speaker 3: I said, that kid's not going to know. He's not

731
00:32:56,800 --> 00:32:58,880
Speaker 3: going to know he was ever in line for a present.

732
00:32:59,360 --> 00:33:00,720
Speaker 2: He's not going to know that.

733
00:33:01,320 --> 00:33:02,800
Speaker 3: How would he find out.

734
00:33:02,880 --> 00:33:05,480
Speaker 2: Because the parents will know because April's going to go, hey,

735
00:33:05,600 --> 00:33:06,720
Speaker 2: did Timmy get the gift?

736
00:33:07,160 --> 00:33:10,239
Speaker 1: No? No, because I told April I'm not giving him

737
00:33:10,240 --> 00:33:11,640
Speaker 1: this gift. I'm regifting.

738
00:33:12,520 --> 00:33:13,440
Speaker 3: I don't even know what it is.

739
00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:16,760
Speaker 1: It's now sitting in our Knickknacks draw with no name

740
00:33:16,840 --> 00:33:19,720
Speaker 1: on it, perfectly wrapped for the next birthday that we

741
00:33:19,840 --> 00:33:21,760
Speaker 1: get invited to, where I don't know who that fucking

742
00:33:21,840 --> 00:33:23,320
Speaker 1: kid is. What do you think?

743
00:33:24,520 --> 00:33:28,720
Speaker 2: Why do you hate birthday so much? Do you question,

744
00:33:29,840 --> 00:33:40,000
Speaker 2: have you ever felt empathy before? No, I hear, I

745
00:33:40,080 --> 00:33:40,800
Speaker 2: can appreciate.

746
00:33:40,840 --> 00:33:41,720
Speaker 3: It's the old thing.

747
00:33:42,040 --> 00:33:44,760
Speaker 1: He doesn't know what he doesn't know, right, So the

748
00:33:44,880 --> 00:33:48,320
Speaker 1: kid doesn't know that Oscar was gonna come, doesn't know

749
00:33:48,480 --> 00:33:50,360
Speaker 1: that he was going to get a present. No one knew.

750
00:33:50,600 --> 00:33:54,680
Speaker 1: It's the perfect crime. Really, I've saved a present so

751
00:33:54,840 --> 00:33:56,960
Speaker 1: that when we can invited to some other little shit's

752
00:33:57,000 --> 00:33:59,560
Speaker 1: birthday that we don't know, and I have to go

753
00:33:59,680 --> 00:34:02,040
Speaker 1: and ruined my whole Saturday afternoon to talk to people

754
00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:06,320
Speaker 1: I don't like or no, sorry for all the parents

755
00:34:06,400 --> 00:34:08,800
Speaker 1: listening to this that my kid goes to school with.

756
00:34:11,320 --> 00:34:14,080
Speaker 2: Can I say the issue here, I think is actually,

757
00:34:14,880 --> 00:34:17,359
Speaker 2: I'm going to see it from the perspective of an

758
00:34:17,440 --> 00:34:21,400
Speaker 2: early education teacher person. I can't remember what the title is.

759
00:34:21,480 --> 00:34:23,239
Speaker 2: I called someone a daycare teacher and they got really

760
00:34:23,239 --> 00:34:23,719
Speaker 2: annoyed at me.

761
00:34:24,160 --> 00:34:25,800
Speaker 1: So, look, that's sexist.

762
00:34:27,680 --> 00:34:30,080
Speaker 2: I'm going to see it from their perspective. That would

763
00:34:30,120 --> 00:34:33,799
Speaker 2: be a nightmare. Imagine a day where one kid gets

764
00:34:33,880 --> 00:34:38,279
Speaker 2: preferential treatment, gets a gift at daycare, so he wants

765
00:34:38,280 --> 00:34:40,080
Speaker 2: to open that gift because he's going to see it,

766
00:34:40,080 --> 00:34:42,040
Speaker 2: and Oscar will be like, oh man, I got your gift.

767
00:34:42,080 --> 00:34:43,360
Speaker 2: It's over there, it's on the shelf.

768
00:34:43,440 --> 00:34:45,080
Speaker 1: Because Oscar would be excited to give it to you.

769
00:34:45,400 --> 00:34:47,400
Speaker 1: I had to really convince Oscar not to tell him.

770
00:34:50,840 --> 00:34:52,080
Speaker 1: And so far, so good.

771
00:34:53,440 --> 00:34:54,319
Speaker 3: But I get what he's saying.

772
00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:57,080
Speaker 2: He's going to open his gift and every kids can

773
00:34:57,120 --> 00:34:58,399
Speaker 2: be like I want to play with the gift because

774
00:34:58,400 --> 00:34:58,960
Speaker 2: it's a new toy.

775
00:34:59,800 --> 00:35:02,319
Speaker 1: It's like one kid's got one the rest of the kids.

776
00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:03,080
Speaker 3: It's chaos.

777
00:35:03,200 --> 00:35:04,000
Speaker 2: It's unfair.

778
00:35:04,120 --> 00:35:05,680
Speaker 3: And this leads me on to my next point.

779
00:35:06,120 --> 00:35:06,560
Speaker 2: Continue.

780
00:35:07,000 --> 00:35:10,680
Speaker 1: Yesterday went to the zoo. Yeah, how was that was great?

781
00:35:11,120 --> 00:35:14,120
Speaker 1: But what fucking shits me about zoos is when to

782
00:35:14,320 --> 00:35:16,960
Speaker 1: exit it. You've got to go through the shop. You've

783
00:35:17,000 --> 00:35:20,359
Speaker 1: got to go through the zoo friend shop to get

784
00:35:20,440 --> 00:35:22,560
Speaker 1: out of the plate. I'd much of the jump in

785
00:35:22,600 --> 00:35:23,360
Speaker 1: the lion's cage.

786
00:35:25,880 --> 00:35:28,839
Speaker 2: I'm in there where with April's like, where the fuck

787
00:35:28,920 --> 00:35:29,439
Speaker 2: is Ash gone?

788
00:35:30,640 --> 00:35:34,080
Speaker 1: Kids under two other couples and their kids. So there's

789
00:35:34,120 --> 00:35:37,759
Speaker 1: what two six kids? Yep, Okay, kids had a great

790
00:35:37,760 --> 00:35:40,319
Speaker 1: time all day. They just had ice cream. Great, They're

791
00:35:40,320 --> 00:35:42,319
Speaker 1: all really well behaved the whole day, which is great.

792
00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:46,000
Speaker 1: But we were all as parents in a grant no

793
00:35:46,120 --> 00:35:49,080
Speaker 1: one buys anything, because then if one person buys something,

794
00:35:49,800 --> 00:35:50,200
Speaker 1: it'll fall.

795
00:35:50,960 --> 00:35:52,560
Speaker 3: So we're all the moms are.

796
00:35:52,480 --> 00:35:54,759
Speaker 1: Pushing the prams with the little kids who were strapped in.

797
00:35:55,200 --> 00:35:57,440
Speaker 1: They've just bee lined straight out of the exit.

798
00:35:57,520 --> 00:35:58,279
Speaker 2: You got to make it quick.

799
00:35:58,360 --> 00:36:01,520
Speaker 1: And my wife was like, good luck, and I'm looking

800
00:36:01,560 --> 00:36:03,920
Speaker 1: at the other two dads going, don't you fucking do it.

801
00:36:04,400 --> 00:36:07,719
Speaker 1: Don't cave. We're not caving, guys, And the kids are like.

802
00:36:09,280 --> 00:36:12,160
Speaker 3: Flipping out like we weren't there crying.

803
00:36:12,360 --> 00:36:15,560
Speaker 1: They're literally crying before I've said no because they know

804
00:36:15,680 --> 00:36:18,600
Speaker 1: the answer is no. And I'm just like trying to

805
00:36:18,800 --> 00:36:22,279
Speaker 1: drag these kids out of this fucking shop. And at

806
00:36:22,320 --> 00:36:24,560
Speaker 1: the same time, I'm like, Okay, had a really nice

807
00:36:24,640 --> 00:36:26,520
Speaker 1: day at the zoo and then the zoo fucked it

808
00:36:26,560 --> 00:36:30,360
Speaker 1: at the end because they must get every parent on

809
00:36:30,520 --> 00:36:31,080
Speaker 1: the way out.

810
00:36:31,280 --> 00:36:32,600
Speaker 2: Where an easy target. I know.

811
00:36:32,719 --> 00:36:35,600
Speaker 1: It's just like the best and the worst marketing ploy ever.

812
00:36:36,239 --> 00:36:39,399
Speaker 1: Like you've just pointed sailed me, you know, like all

813
00:36:39,440 --> 00:36:43,080
Speaker 1: the way through this shop were shit, that's like, oh goes,

814
00:36:43,160 --> 00:36:46,360
Speaker 1: I want this. He was really sweet about it, and

815
00:36:46,719 --> 00:36:48,080
Speaker 1: honestly it broke my heart because I was like I

816
00:36:48,160 --> 00:36:50,120
Speaker 1: would just usually buy that you're a good kid the

817
00:36:50,160 --> 00:36:51,800
Speaker 1: whole What did he want? It was just like a

818
00:36:51,960 --> 00:36:54,600
Speaker 1: tiny little thing, right, And I was like, oh, yeah,

819
00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:56,440
Speaker 1: stuff toy. It was yeah, it was like it was

820
00:36:56,480 --> 00:36:58,960
Speaker 1: like a rubber toy, like a flimsy the irip on

821
00:36:59,040 --> 00:37:03,760
Speaker 1: that anywhere else affordable. I have got a small mortgage.

822
00:37:05,280 --> 00:37:08,399
Speaker 1: It was like literally like two and a half three

823
00:37:08,400 --> 00:37:15,759
Speaker 1: inches long, similar to my paints. And I was like,

824
00:37:16,640 --> 00:37:18,600
Speaker 1: you would usually just say yes, turn it over. The

825
00:37:18,640 --> 00:37:20,880
Speaker 1: things like fifteen bucks because you've.

826
00:37:20,760 --> 00:37:23,120
Speaker 2: Just forked out for tickets, the ice cream. I saw

827
00:37:23,160 --> 00:37:24,000
Speaker 2: you had the waffles.

828
00:37:24,040 --> 00:37:24,840
Speaker 3: Did you get the waffles?

829
00:37:24,960 --> 00:37:26,200
Speaker 1: No? I got popcorn from that place.

830
00:37:26,719 --> 00:37:29,200
Speaker 2: Popcorn's not cheap either. I was like twelve, Yeah, it's

831
00:37:29,239 --> 00:37:29,920
Speaker 2: fucking popcorn.

832
00:37:30,040 --> 00:37:33,120
Speaker 1: But my griping with this one is like, just give

833
00:37:33,200 --> 00:37:37,239
Speaker 1: us two exit options. Do you think that's fair? That's

834
00:37:37,280 --> 00:37:40,279
Speaker 1: a fair to us. That'd be like, look, I want

835
00:37:40,320 --> 00:37:41,359
Speaker 1: to leave this place.

836
00:37:41,440 --> 00:37:43,800
Speaker 2: I don't often agree with you, Ash, but on this occasion,

837
00:37:44,400 --> 00:37:46,640
Speaker 2: I think you've banging. I think when they designed zoos,

838
00:37:46,800 --> 00:37:49,560
Speaker 2: they thought, how can we absolutely rinse the people who

839
00:37:49,600 --> 00:37:51,480
Speaker 2: are most vulnerable here? The parents?

840
00:37:51,560 --> 00:37:52,759
Speaker 3: Oscar cry the whole way home.

841
00:37:52,920 --> 00:37:55,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, an hour in the car, it's like they don't

842
00:37:55,080 --> 00:37:55,600
Speaker 1: have to deal with that.

843
00:37:56,000 --> 00:37:58,360
Speaker 3: Who's gonna Who's going to sort that out from.

844
00:37:58,200 --> 00:38:01,960
Speaker 2: Then it makes you think why did I bother? It

845
00:38:02,160 --> 00:38:04,319
Speaker 2: ruined the whole day to me, And if you can't

846
00:38:04,360 --> 00:38:06,440
Speaker 2: snap him out of that mood, then it was like.

847
00:38:06,680 --> 00:38:09,279
Speaker 1: He was meltdown City the rest of the afternoon because

848
00:38:09,280 --> 00:38:12,440
Speaker 1: it was like in his mind he was a good

849
00:38:12,520 --> 00:38:16,120
Speaker 1: boy the whole time and he was okay, they all

850
00:38:16,160 --> 00:38:18,839
Speaker 1: got ice cream. They all were really well behaved, which

851
00:38:18,880 --> 00:38:21,840
Speaker 1: is great, great day. The zoo fucked me on the

852
00:38:21,880 --> 00:38:24,120
Speaker 1: way out. They might as well have gone in with

853
00:38:24,320 --> 00:38:25,080
Speaker 1: no lube.

854
00:38:27,239 --> 00:38:30,120
Speaker 3: Because all three of us were carrying these kids out.

855
00:38:30,520 --> 00:38:33,760
Speaker 2: You told me you had bad chafe you saw Yeah.

856
00:38:33,920 --> 00:38:36,880
Speaker 1: Yeah, that's why the gift shop really handed it to me.

857
00:38:37,120 --> 00:38:39,279
Speaker 2: As you're leaving, someone's like, excuse me, So I just

858
00:38:39,320 --> 00:38:40,840
Speaker 2: want to step over here. Ben, you ever put your

859
00:38:40,880 --> 00:38:43,400
Speaker 2: pants down right in front of everybody and you're like

860
00:38:45,040 --> 00:38:49,879
Speaker 2: front of my kid, daddy, are you okay? Look look away, son,

861
00:38:49,960 --> 00:38:54,840
Speaker 2: you don't need to see this. April's like it was like,

862
00:38:55,560 --> 00:38:56,640
Speaker 2: saves me doing it later.

863
00:39:02,239 --> 00:39:04,800
Speaker 1: But yeah. So I've just got one request for anyone

864
00:39:04,840 --> 00:39:07,040
Speaker 1: that works at a zoo owns a zoo or thinking

865
00:39:07,040 --> 00:39:10,799
Speaker 1: about purchasing building whatever anything to do with the zoo.

866
00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:11,759
Speaker 2: Put the line exit.

867
00:39:12,000 --> 00:39:14,560
Speaker 1: Give us two options, the people that want to buy

868
00:39:14,600 --> 00:39:17,040
Speaker 1: their kids something and the people who can't afford it.

869
00:39:19,360 --> 00:39:22,399
Speaker 3: At least give us blindfolds on the way out.

870
00:39:22,520 --> 00:39:25,120
Speaker 1: You'd just be like, all right, kids, we're just going

871
00:39:25,160 --> 00:39:26,880
Speaker 1: to quickly blindfold you, put you in the back in

872
00:39:26,920 --> 00:39:30,000
Speaker 1: a van, and you'll turn up where our car is

873
00:39:30,040 --> 00:39:30,640
Speaker 1: in the car park.

874
00:39:32,480 --> 00:39:33,640
Speaker 2: Let's play your favorite segment.

875
00:39:33,760 --> 00:39:34,080
Speaker 1: Let's do it.

876
00:39:35,360 --> 00:39:38,240
Speaker 2: Tell me lie, tell me lid lie.

877
00:39:42,080 --> 00:39:45,200
Speaker 1: Live. Can I do my life first? I went first?

878
00:39:45,200 --> 00:39:47,520
Speaker 1: Why are you asking like you're a child, Because I

879
00:39:47,719 --> 00:39:48,960
Speaker 1: am a child?

880
00:39:49,600 --> 00:39:50,799
Speaker 2: You can go first? Out of mind.

881
00:39:52,560 --> 00:39:53,719
Speaker 1: I I'm of it. Now you go first.

882
00:39:54,080 --> 00:39:56,120
Speaker 2: Okay. So for those of you who may be joining

883
00:39:56,160 --> 00:39:57,920
Speaker 2: us for the very first time, we have a segment

884
00:39:58,040 --> 00:40:01,200
Speaker 2: where we give you some of the best lies that

885
00:40:01,320 --> 00:40:04,279
Speaker 2: have been submitted, mostly from parents. Sometimes we occasionally get

886
00:40:04,360 --> 00:40:06,400
Speaker 2: someone who's going to tell us a lie that they

887
00:40:06,480 --> 00:40:09,560
Speaker 2: were told. Can you stop squeaking on that fucking chair?

888
00:40:10,120 --> 00:40:10,839
Speaker 3: Get a new chest?

889
00:40:11,560 --> 00:40:14,719
Speaker 2: I am getting new chairs. I am getting new chairs.

890
00:40:14,800 --> 00:40:16,960
Speaker 2: So sometimes we get lies from people who what are

891
00:40:17,000 --> 00:40:17,600
Speaker 2: you touching now?

892
00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:26,960
Speaker 3: I'm checking the join just I need to be tested.

893
00:40:27,680 --> 00:40:29,160
Speaker 3: Sit there, I'm gonna put my hands on my pop.

894
00:40:29,200 --> 00:40:32,080
Speaker 2: Play with that, play with this, that's what you're used to.

895
00:40:32,160 --> 00:40:33,520
Speaker 1: I'm sure that's a bit bigger.

896
00:40:35,360 --> 00:40:37,759
Speaker 2: We'll make it quick. We'll make it quick. This is

897
00:40:37,760 --> 00:40:40,440
Speaker 2: from Casey, Casey Berry. What's up? Very nice message?

898
00:40:40,600 --> 00:40:42,200
Speaker 1: Can I just say you gave him full name?

899
00:40:43,080 --> 00:40:45,759
Speaker 2: Well? Why not? I'm not giving her address out phone

900
00:40:45,840 --> 00:40:50,239
Speaker 2: number is? She says a couple of nice compliments which

901
00:40:50,600 --> 00:40:53,080
Speaker 2: directed to both you and me. You are included in

902
00:40:53,120 --> 00:40:53,680
Speaker 2: the compliments.

903
00:40:53,840 --> 00:40:54,279
Speaker 1: That's great.

904
00:40:56,080 --> 00:40:59,200
Speaker 2: So she says, here, I'm going to tell you a

905
00:40:59,320 --> 00:41:02,920
Speaker 2: lie that she hell's her two year old son. This

906
00:41:03,040 --> 00:41:04,640
Speaker 2: is quite similar to a life we've had previously, but

907
00:41:04,680 --> 00:41:07,240
Speaker 2: I really liked it anyway. So he likes to eat chicken,

908
00:41:07,640 --> 00:41:12,520
Speaker 2: just chicken. So suddenly ash all meat has become chicken.

909
00:41:13,200 --> 00:41:17,480
Speaker 2: Even if it's a different color. Don't worry. It's just

910
00:41:17,520 --> 00:41:19,840
Speaker 2: a different part of a chicken. For example, it's legs,

911
00:41:20,840 --> 00:41:22,920
Speaker 2: it looks That's why it looks different.

912
00:41:23,960 --> 00:41:24,400
Speaker 1: Genius.

913
00:41:24,480 --> 00:41:27,320
Speaker 2: What's that red meat? Yeah, oh, that's the belly of

914
00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:27,760
Speaker 2: the chicken.

915
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:29,680
Speaker 1: Genius. I do this too.

916
00:41:30,120 --> 00:41:32,640
Speaker 2: He hasn't battered an eyelid yet. She's not sure, what

917
00:41:32,800 --> 00:41:33,920
Speaker 2: age do they get smart?

918
00:41:33,960 --> 00:41:37,239
Speaker 1: They never do oscars for I still just say the

919
00:41:37,320 --> 00:41:39,480
Speaker 1: other I clearly put a piece of steak in front

920
00:41:39,480 --> 00:41:40,760
Speaker 1: of him, was like chicken.

921
00:41:42,960 --> 00:41:43,920
Speaker 2: He doesn't quit, he doesn't know.

922
00:41:44,480 --> 00:41:46,960
Speaker 1: There's no idea. I love it like Gable.

923
00:41:47,440 --> 00:41:50,359
Speaker 2: So that was Casey, great lie, thank you very much.

924
00:41:50,480 --> 00:41:52,960
Speaker 1: I'm going to bring my own line to the table

925
00:41:53,200 --> 00:41:57,640
Speaker 1: because I'm constantly lying to my kids it's fun for sport.

926
00:41:57,719 --> 00:41:59,399
Speaker 3: Now, now there's the old look.

927
00:41:59,440 --> 00:42:01,839
Speaker 1: If there's any children listening right now, or even the car,

928
00:42:02,040 --> 00:42:05,560
Speaker 1: maybe just turn this down a little bit, because I.

929
00:42:05,640 --> 00:42:07,520
Speaker 2: Think at this point, if there's anyone who's listening to

930
00:42:07,600 --> 00:42:10,160
Speaker 2: this podcast out loud with their kids in the same room,

931
00:42:11,640 --> 00:42:12,040
Speaker 2: help them.

932
00:42:12,160 --> 00:42:12,959
Speaker 3: Santa's not real.

933
00:42:13,280 --> 00:42:16,719
Speaker 2: Oh Jesus, Jesus, there's that old life.

934
00:42:17,880 --> 00:42:21,600
Speaker 1: I gave them enough warning. That is enough warning. That's

935
00:42:21,640 --> 00:42:24,000
Speaker 1: worse than an F bomb. I gave them enough warning.

936
00:42:24,080 --> 00:42:26,120
Speaker 2: You are savage today, I am.

937
00:42:26,320 --> 00:42:29,319
Speaker 1: But so we all know that, right. So we are

938
00:42:29,480 --> 00:42:32,839
Speaker 1: continuously lying every year to our kids that he is real.

939
00:42:33,880 --> 00:42:38,400
Speaker 1: But I have this thing called the Christmas hierarchy. So

940
00:42:38,600 --> 00:42:42,680
Speaker 1: who actually reports into Santa Claus? And it's not me?

941
00:42:43,480 --> 00:42:45,480
Speaker 2: Okay, what's like the management structure.

942
00:42:45,600 --> 00:42:48,920
Speaker 1: Yeah, so there's missus clause, Santa Claus.

943
00:42:49,360 --> 00:42:50,920
Speaker 2: Can you tell that you used to work in HR?

944
00:42:51,680 --> 00:42:55,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, just dealing with disputes in.

945
00:42:55,440 --> 00:42:57,160
Speaker 3: The house, Santa Claus.

946
00:42:57,160 --> 00:42:57,760
Speaker 2: Missus clause.

947
00:42:57,880 --> 00:43:01,560
Speaker 1: So I always threatened my kids with not that I'll

948
00:43:01,640 --> 00:43:05,560
Speaker 1: tell Santa that, I'll tell Popper who Poppa reports into Santa.

949
00:43:06,239 --> 00:43:08,480
Speaker 1: So then he doesn't just have to be good for me,

950
00:43:09,400 --> 00:43:12,320
Speaker 1: He's also got to be good for Popper for it

951
00:43:12,440 --> 00:43:13,280
Speaker 1: to go to Santa.

952
00:43:13,520 --> 00:43:14,839
Speaker 2: Well done, well done, very good.

953
00:43:14,960 --> 00:43:18,520
Speaker 1: I've cracked the code, and I forget about that I've

954
00:43:18,600 --> 00:43:21,080
Speaker 1: done this until it comes to like the back end

955
00:43:21,080 --> 00:43:23,040
Speaker 1: of the year, which is now, and I'm like.

956
00:43:23,960 --> 00:43:27,800
Speaker 2: Yes, do you have Christmas chat throughout the year or

957
00:43:27,840 --> 00:43:29,600
Speaker 2: do you kind of reserve it for the second half?

958
00:43:29,719 --> 00:43:31,759
Speaker 1: Oh, it comes out here and there we haven't like

959
00:43:32,280 --> 00:43:34,919
Speaker 1: you're peppered in the first And yeah, look, the Easter

960
00:43:34,960 --> 00:43:36,040
Speaker 1: Bunny gets a good run too.

961
00:43:36,440 --> 00:43:38,680
Speaker 3: But now also Popper reports into the Easter Bunny.

962
00:43:38,800 --> 00:43:40,680
Speaker 2: Poppa's got a lot of fucking jobs on right now.

963
00:43:40,760 --> 00:43:40,960
Speaker 3: Yeah.

964
00:43:40,960 --> 00:43:44,000
Speaker 1: So my dad is known as Poppy Boom Boom just

965
00:43:44,040 --> 00:43:48,000
Speaker 1: because of younger, just something that Oscar adopted. And he's

966
00:43:48,160 --> 00:43:51,080
Speaker 1: the funny one, you know, like makes all the silly noises. Popper,

967
00:43:51,320 --> 00:43:56,040
Speaker 1: my wife's dad is like a third parent for us. Great,

968
00:43:56,880 --> 00:43:59,960
Speaker 1: so I always say that Poppy boomboom reports into Santa

969
00:44:01,239 --> 00:44:04,719
Speaker 1: and we don't see my parents as much, but then

970
00:44:04,840 --> 00:44:08,960
Speaker 1: when they do, Oscar is so good with him because

971
00:44:08,960 --> 00:44:11,440
Speaker 1: he's like, if I'm good with him, he'll test sown

972
00:44:11,520 --> 00:44:14,239
Speaker 1: or I'm a good boy down the line. Take it.

973
00:44:14,600 --> 00:44:16,680
Speaker 2: You are not just a pretty face.

974
00:44:16,920 --> 00:44:22,279
Speaker 1: I am a number one doting dad anyway. So I yeah, look,

975
00:44:22,320 --> 00:44:24,960
Speaker 1: I use it to threaten them a lot. Great, and

976
00:44:24,960 --> 00:44:28,160
Speaker 1: it'd be like I'll tell popa Poppa tell Santa thank you.

977
00:44:29,440 --> 00:44:30,440
Speaker 1: So that's my life for this.

978
00:44:30,600 --> 00:44:31,239
Speaker 3: I applaud you.

979
00:44:31,360 --> 00:44:31,560
Speaker 1: It is.

980
00:44:31,800 --> 00:44:33,840
Speaker 2: It's such an honor to be in the presence of

981
00:44:33,920 --> 00:44:37,560
Speaker 2: a Christmas hierarchy. He is such an ingenious young man.

982
00:44:40,040 --> 00:44:42,200
Speaker 2: I know that you have complained that we took too

983
00:44:42,200 --> 00:44:45,960
Speaker 2: long to start recording. We are going to quickly just

984
00:44:46,040 --> 00:44:48,440
Speaker 2: go through and do a question each from the good

985
00:44:48,520 --> 00:44:49,640
Speaker 2: listeners of this country.

986
00:44:49,719 --> 00:44:50,839
Speaker 1: Yeah, what was my question again?

987
00:44:51,120 --> 00:44:52,960
Speaker 2: You can have your phone back, just check a question,

988
00:44:53,040 --> 00:44:56,040
Speaker 2: do you go? And of course if you are listening

989
00:44:56,160 --> 00:44:58,480
Speaker 2: right now and you think maybe maybe I will get

990
00:44:58,520 --> 00:45:01,680
Speaker 2: some advice from Matt and Ash. If you're in that situation,

991
00:45:02,120 --> 00:45:05,239
Speaker 2: please seek professional advice first, but then if you have

992
00:45:05,440 --> 00:45:08,399
Speaker 2: exhausted all options, you may come to us submit a question.

993
00:45:08,480 --> 00:45:10,920
Speaker 2: The best way to do it is on Instagram at

994
00:45:10,960 --> 00:45:14,080
Speaker 2: two doting dads. Correct address it to me, because Ash

995
00:45:14,200 --> 00:45:14,960
Speaker 2: doesn't read them.

996
00:45:15,840 --> 00:45:18,360
Speaker 1: I do that thing where you can swipe and say unread,

997
00:45:18,800 --> 00:45:21,239
Speaker 1: go back to unread. I think that's just for us, though,

998
00:45:21,640 --> 00:45:26,600
Speaker 1: because then I think you'll pick it up tactically. I'll

999
00:45:26,640 --> 00:45:30,760
Speaker 1: go first. So my question Matthew, best age with kids

1000
00:45:31,080 --> 00:45:31,600
Speaker 1: so far?

1001
00:45:34,320 --> 00:45:37,760
Speaker 2: Look, I will say that some people love a newborn.

1002
00:45:38,040 --> 00:45:41,080
Speaker 2: I love it so much. Maybe maybe it's more of

1003
00:45:41,120 --> 00:45:43,440
Speaker 2: a mum thing, but I don't really get much from

1004
00:45:43,440 --> 00:45:45,320
Speaker 2: a newborn myself personally.

1005
00:45:45,600 --> 00:45:47,359
Speaker 3: Nah, they probably not get much from you either, though.

1006
00:45:47,600 --> 00:45:51,520
Speaker 2: Yeah, we both just look at each other. We get it.

1007
00:45:51,840 --> 00:45:54,680
Speaker 2: No one's really going to enjoy the company, so don't

1008
00:45:55,280 --> 00:45:57,880
Speaker 2: god look at it. I gonna give a little like

1009
00:45:58,120 --> 00:46:03,080
Speaker 2: fingerhold maybe has just gone for And I love that

1010
00:46:03,200 --> 00:46:06,439
Speaker 2: age because she can now she communicates someone.

1011
00:46:07,200 --> 00:46:10,080
Speaker 1: Yeah, and she's like I say everything every episode I say,

1012
00:46:10,120 --> 00:46:10,800
Speaker 1: she's really smart.

1013
00:46:10,840 --> 00:46:12,560
Speaker 2: She is. She is a very clever cookie and she

1014
00:46:13,200 --> 00:46:15,480
Speaker 2: can now spell. So we have little games where she

1015
00:46:15,600 --> 00:46:17,200
Speaker 2: you know, I'm like, what's an apt word? And she's

1016
00:46:17,280 --> 00:46:19,080
Speaker 2: like Matt And I'm like, yeah, what's another one? Cat?

1017
00:46:19,160 --> 00:46:21,600
Speaker 2: And she loves it. She's learning, I'm teaching. It's great.

1018
00:46:22,360 --> 00:46:26,440
Speaker 2: Lola is too, but she's just it's weird, dude. In

1019
00:46:26,440 --> 00:46:30,000
Speaker 2: the last two weeks her talking has gotten so much better,

1020
00:46:30,080 --> 00:46:32,279
Speaker 2: like leaps and bounds in such a short period of time.

1021
00:46:32,320 --> 00:46:34,920
Speaker 2: She's like telling these little stories now, and I love

1022
00:46:35,000 --> 00:46:37,880
Speaker 2: that as well. I love I think four to me

1023
00:46:38,120 --> 00:46:39,120
Speaker 2: is like the best age.

1024
00:46:39,160 --> 00:46:44,960
Speaker 1: This is getting real sappy, Let's move on. I'm with you,

1025
00:46:45,080 --> 00:46:48,759
Speaker 1: said love about forty times. How dare you love your kids?

1026
00:46:51,600 --> 00:46:52,759
Speaker 1: Four or two? Which one?

1027
00:46:53,280 --> 00:46:57,040
Speaker 3: No, I think they've got good my children.

1028
00:46:57,080 --> 00:46:59,239
Speaker 1: All I'm just going to tell your mine mine is

1029
00:46:59,480 --> 00:47:03,000
Speaker 1: now for because she's like talking but only just like

1030
00:47:03,120 --> 00:47:05,759
Speaker 1: single words, and you know how they can't fully pronounce it.

1031
00:47:06,000 --> 00:47:07,440
Speaker 1: That's why it's like.

1032
00:47:07,560 --> 00:47:11,240
Speaker 2: Maybe your kids can't make but in this household, kids.

1033
00:47:11,080 --> 00:47:14,879
Speaker 3: From the country, their cousins as well.

1034
00:47:16,239 --> 00:47:18,160
Speaker 1: All right, what question you got for me? No?

1035
00:47:18,400 --> 00:47:19,040
Speaker 2: Is that your answer?

1036
00:47:19,320 --> 00:47:23,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's round two before too, So this question is.

1037
00:47:23,040 --> 00:47:25,560
Speaker 2: A little bit different. It's not one that we've had

1038
00:47:26,239 --> 00:47:30,840
Speaker 2: even remotely close to this theme. Oh no, they ask,

1039
00:47:31,400 --> 00:47:34,080
Speaker 2: how do you think you would go as in Matt

1040
00:47:34,200 --> 00:47:38,120
Speaker 2: Nash if you were a same sex couple with kids.

1041
00:47:40,400 --> 00:47:42,240
Speaker 1: Fuck, The sex would be intense.

1042
00:47:45,160 --> 00:47:47,719
Speaker 2: To be fair, this relationship is.

1043
00:47:48,640 --> 00:47:50,520
Speaker 1: The only thing missing is the sex. Yeah.

1044
00:47:52,200 --> 00:47:53,719
Speaker 3: I would be let's get to it.

1045
00:47:53,800 --> 00:47:56,839
Speaker 2: Then I would be putting dinner on the table, looking

1046
00:47:56,880 --> 00:47:59,960
Speaker 2: at my watch, going where is Ash said he'd be

1047
00:48:00,160 --> 00:48:01,080
Speaker 2: home by seven o'clock?

1048
00:48:01,840 --> 00:48:02,600
Speaker 3: You be at the pub.

1049
00:48:02,760 --> 00:48:04,440
Speaker 2: You come home at eight o'clock with three of the

1050
00:48:04,480 --> 00:48:09,120
Speaker 2: mates being like, hey, kick on, And I'd be there

1051
00:48:09,160 --> 00:48:11,400
Speaker 2: in my down being like, I guess we won't have

1052
00:48:11,480 --> 00:48:12,000
Speaker 2: sex tonight.

1053
00:48:12,840 --> 00:48:14,560
Speaker 1: I guess you're not going to be mounting me tonight.

1054
00:48:16,000 --> 00:48:19,879
Speaker 1: I think we would do a very very good job. Yeah,

1055
00:48:22,440 --> 00:48:25,040
Speaker 1: this is getting weirdly now, it's awkward.

1056
00:48:26,440 --> 00:48:28,080
Speaker 3: Look, I think the kids would be lucky to have us.

1057
00:48:31,760 --> 00:48:32,319
Speaker 2: Wrap it up.

1058
00:48:32,840 --> 00:48:35,160
Speaker 1: Thank you for that question, whoever it was, and take

1059
00:48:35,200 --> 00:48:38,080
Speaker 1: your hands off me. I mean, that is all we

1060
00:48:38,160 --> 00:48:40,680
Speaker 1: have time for. If you liked this episode, review, send.

1061
00:48:40,560 --> 00:48:41,600
Speaker 2: It to your friends, describe.

1062
00:48:41,600 --> 00:48:44,719
Speaker 1: Send to your friends if anyone is down and they

1063
00:48:44,760 --> 00:48:46,320
Speaker 1: needed a bit of a pet me up, Because the

1064
00:48:46,400 --> 00:48:48,799
Speaker 1: more you want to hear about how poor I am, senders.

1065
00:48:49,880 --> 00:48:52,400
Speaker 2: He just quickly before we go feedback on the crops.

1066
00:48:52,440 --> 00:48:54,959
Speaker 2: You warn them all episode. Obviously you're gonna be walking around,

1067
00:48:55,040 --> 00:48:57,600
Speaker 2: you've been sitting there. But what do you think? What

1068
00:48:57,680 --> 00:48:59,480
Speaker 2: do you think? What do you think? Honest opinion? Hit me?

1069
00:48:59,560 --> 00:48:59,920
Speaker 2: What do you got?

1070
00:49:01,520 --> 00:49:02,239
Speaker 1: Five out of ten?

1071
00:49:02,800 --> 00:49:04,319
Speaker 2: Oh my god? Stop playing hard to.

1072
00:49:04,320 --> 00:49:09,239
Speaker 1: Get all right? We'll figure I'll do a little bit

1073
00:49:09,320 --> 00:49:12,320
Speaker 1: of shuffling around when we have some lunch and report

1074
00:49:12,400 --> 00:49:13,000
Speaker 1: back next week.

1075
00:49:13,160 --> 00:49:15,440
Speaker 2: I can't wait until you're wearing them next week's record.

1076
00:49:16,040 --> 00:49:17,120
Speaker 1: Oh it's not gonna happen.

1077
00:49:17,120 --> 00:49:18,000
Speaker 2: Okay, let's get out of here.

1078
00:49:18,080 --> 00:49:19,960
Speaker 1: Thanks guys, Fuck.

1079
00:49:26,960 --> 00:49:30,560
Speaker 2: Two Doting Dads. Podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country

1080
00:49:30,600 --> 00:49:34,240
Speaker 2: throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.

1081
00:49:34,520 --> 00:49:37,040
Speaker 1: We pay our respects to their elders past and present

1082
00:49:37,120 --> 00:49:40,200
Speaker 1: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torrestraight Islander

1083
00:49:40,239 --> 00:49:43,839
Speaker 1: people's today. This episode was recorded on gadagal Land