WEBVTT - Ryan Broekhoff - Ordineroli Speaking 0:00:05.680 --> 0:00:08.959 Ordinarily Speaking. People look at my life from the outside 0:00:09.280 --> 0:00:13.000 and see a happy family in the perfect life, but 0:00:13.680 --> 0:00:16.239 underneath it all of pain behind these eyes. 0:00:21.280 --> 0:00:22.080 Soon time. 0:00:27.280 --> 0:00:30.720 Hello, and welcome to a new episode of Ordinarily Speaking. 0:00:31.320 --> 0:00:34.800 Ryan Brockoff is an Ozzie basketball star who played with 0:00:34.840 --> 0:00:37.880 the Dallas Mavericks in the NBA. When he was cut 0:00:37.920 --> 0:00:40.840 from the MAVs suddenly in twenty twenty, he quickly found 0:00:40.880 --> 0:00:45.920 a new NBA home, but the pandemic derailed the dream. Eventually, 0:00:46.040 --> 0:00:49.199 Ryan returned home to Victoria to play in the NBL. 0:00:49.880 --> 0:00:53.720 The challenging eighteen month period saw his mental health deteriorate, 0:00:54.120 --> 0:00:56.960 and the veteran boomer made the heart wrenching call to 0:00:57.040 --> 0:01:00.480 pull out of the Tokyo Olympics. That decision was the 0:01:00.480 --> 0:01:04.120 catalyst for Ryan to seek therapy and subsequently confront the 0:01:04.240 --> 0:01:08.080 trauma he experienced as a kid. For the very first time, 0:01:08.400 --> 0:01:12.680 Ryan shares his story publicly. This episode is raw and 0:01:12.920 --> 0:01:17.479 at times confronting, as the softly spoken basketball star reflects 0:01:17.480 --> 0:01:20.600 on his complex upbringing. The little boy he once was 0:01:20.800 --> 0:01:24.320 is reflected in his eyes staring back at me, as 0:01:24.360 --> 0:01:27.400 his mother Joe expressed to me, our story is one 0:01:27.400 --> 0:01:33.520 of hardship, sacrifices, violence, adversity, sadness, lots of guilt on 0:01:33.600 --> 0:01:36.960 my part, death, and then freedom to pick up the 0:01:37.040 --> 0:01:41.400 pieces and live. Ryan shares his story in the hope 0:01:41.440 --> 0:01:44.319 it might help people listening, but please know the content 0:01:44.480 --> 0:01:49.240 may be triggering with conversations around suicide and abuse. Remember 0:01:49.240 --> 0:01:52.800 there is help out there beyond blue dot org, dot AU, 0:01:53.320 --> 0:01:57.560 Lifeline one three, double one one four or one eight hundred, 0:01:57.600 --> 0:02:00.280 respect are just a couple of places you can guy. 0:02:00.880 --> 0:02:03.360 We caught up in Ryan's home in Melbourne, where he 0:02:03.400 --> 0:02:06.480 lives with his wife, Katie and little boy Jackson. I 0:02:06.520 --> 0:02:14.760 hope you enjoyed the chat. Ryan, thanks so much for 0:02:15.200 --> 0:02:19.680 joining me for a bloke who's got the nickname ironically rowdy. 0:02:19.760 --> 0:02:21.799 You for not saying a lot. How do you think 0:02:21.800 --> 0:02:23.960 you're going to find the next hour talking about nothing 0:02:24.000 --> 0:02:26.079 but you challenging? 0:02:26.080 --> 0:02:28.799 I'm sure, but we'll get through it. 0:02:29.560 --> 0:02:32.760 I appreciate you. You coming on fair to say you've 0:02:32.760 --> 0:02:36.960 done some work on yourself in recent months, including reflecting 0:02:37.120 --> 0:02:39.480 on your childhood. Can you give me a bit of 0:02:39.480 --> 0:02:42.760 an insight into what your childhood was like and what 0:02:42.880 --> 0:02:45.120 the work you wanted to do on yourself was. 0:02:45.800 --> 0:02:51.320 Yeah, absolutely. It's sort of not hidden from ending, but 0:02:52.280 --> 0:02:54.160 sort of like to keep a lot of things myself 0:02:54.200 --> 0:02:57.160 and even sort of closest friends and things like that. 0:02:57.360 --> 0:03:00.160 Sort of don't have a great sort of understanding of 0:03:00.639 --> 0:03:03.919 my childhood and upbringing. And I guess it all started. 0:03:05.000 --> 0:03:09.840 I was born fairly easy to say, but youngest of 0:03:10.320 --> 0:03:13.400 four kids. My parents divorced when I was I think 0:03:13.440 --> 0:03:13.960 about two. 0:03:14.440 --> 0:03:16.760 My father was. 0:03:18.160 --> 0:03:22.320 Diagnosed with like a frontal lobe brain tumor. 0:03:23.720 --> 0:03:25.040 A little bit before I was born. 0:03:30.120 --> 0:03:34.960 And yeah, I didn't didn't have too much to do 0:03:35.000 --> 0:03:37.640 with them growing up. You know, different stories kind of 0:03:37.640 --> 0:03:40.520 give you, you know, who's a different man before he's diagnosed 0:03:40.560 --> 0:03:45.160 and after and how it affected him. But you know, 0:03:45.200 --> 0:03:48.600 they split up and I was two when Mum raised 0:03:48.760 --> 0:03:54.280 the four of us kids by herself. Another big part 0:03:54.320 --> 0:03:58.160 of my childhood was my name. Actually she spent a 0:03:58.160 --> 0:04:01.960 lot of time raising us as well. I told you 0:04:01.960 --> 0:04:09.440 it wouldn't last very long, Okay, So yeah, mum, Mum 0:04:09.560 --> 0:04:11.560 raised us four kids. We moved around a little bit 0:04:11.560 --> 0:04:14.360 when I was younger. We were out man Danielong for 0:04:14.400 --> 0:04:17.640 a few years and then moved down to One Beach, 0:04:17.640 --> 0:04:20.479 where I spent majority of my childhood. Yeah, it was 0:04:20.480 --> 0:04:24.320 it was just sort of us us four Mum and 0:04:24.360 --> 0:04:27.680 then Nan would come over and take care of us. 0:04:27.720 --> 0:04:31.440 And Mum joined the police force and when she was 0:04:32.080 --> 0:04:34.440 going through the academy and night shift and stuff. Now 0:04:34.520 --> 0:04:37.120 would would obviously come over or would go stay. It 0:04:37.839 --> 0:04:41.320 stayed hers. So she's she's a big part of part 0:04:41.320 --> 0:04:41.800 of everything. 0:04:43.839 --> 0:04:45.480 What is in the Maine to you tell me a 0:04:45.560 --> 0:04:46.479 bit more about it. 0:04:47.120 --> 0:04:51.400 She's a she's a tough woman Italian. She came over 0:04:51.839 --> 0:04:54.279 on the boat during the Wars to kind of escape 0:04:54.320 --> 0:04:58.760 Italy at the time. And yeah, just tough, very obdical thinking, 0:04:59.000 --> 0:05:01.040 very tradition and all, I guess you could say in 0:05:01.600 --> 0:05:03.839 sort of the sense of roles. And she was wonderful. 0:05:03.880 --> 0:05:06.360 She was always there when we needed her and always 0:05:06.360 --> 0:05:08.560 willing to drop whatever she was doing and help us 0:05:08.600 --> 0:05:11.880 out basketball games or coming over and cooking his dinner 0:05:12.000 --> 0:05:13.680 or us go staying there or. 0:05:13.960 --> 0:05:14.680 Whatever it was. 0:05:14.720 --> 0:05:16.920 And you know, she's still doing pretty good right now 0:05:17.400 --> 0:05:20.159 ninety two. And it's been tough not being able to 0:05:20.160 --> 0:05:23.080 sort of see her and all the COVID impacts, but 0:05:23.200 --> 0:05:28.520 she's she'll outlive us all. She's too stubborn. But yeah, wonderful, 0:05:28.720 --> 0:05:32.120 loving woman, very very strong willed though say, yeah, a 0:05:32.160 --> 0:05:35.040 big part of a big part of our childhood. But 0:05:35.040 --> 0:05:37.160 but yeah, sort of get back to sort of the 0:05:37.480 --> 0:05:39.760 early years. So we moved around a few times and 0:05:40.240 --> 0:05:41.640 changed schools a few times. 0:05:42.160 --> 0:05:42.599 We sort of. 0:05:42.600 --> 0:05:46.200 Settled in bomb Beach area sort of during my very 0:05:46.279 --> 0:05:49.760 early years. I think we had visits with my dad 0:05:50.000 --> 0:05:54.200 once a month, once every two weeks. He had remarried, 0:05:54.240 --> 0:05:56.880 I think they remarried, but he had a partner and 0:05:56.920 --> 0:06:00.600 we didn't get on too famously with her. So that 0:06:00.680 --> 0:06:04.640 made the dynamic, you know, obviously tough. My dad was 0:06:04.680 --> 0:06:08.159 sort of soft spoken and pretty quiet and and uh 0:06:08.279 --> 0:06:10.960 and hard to sort of, you know, really get too 0:06:11.040 --> 0:06:14.560 much out of from what I can remember. So we 0:06:14.600 --> 0:06:18.320 did that for for a little while, and then that 0:06:18.480 --> 0:06:21.960 sort of dried up for for quite a while. We 0:06:22.000 --> 0:06:24.440 didn't have a lot to do with sort of my 0:06:24.520 --> 0:06:28.320 dad's side of the family, my grandma and my dad's side, 0:06:28.520 --> 0:06:30.840 or you know, cousins and aunties and uncles. It was 0:06:30.880 --> 0:06:32.960 it was sort of a little bit messy, so it 0:06:33.000 --> 0:06:38.000 was just us and Uh. I started getting into basketball 0:06:38.040 --> 0:06:41.320 and and playing around Frankston and starting to come up 0:06:41.360 --> 0:06:45.000 and he was a former Frankston player. He played during 0:06:45.000 --> 0:06:48.800 their one season in the NBL, and not that he 0:06:48.880 --> 0:06:51.040 was a star player or anything like that, but u 0:06:51.720 --> 0:06:53.560 but he was a big fan of the game. And 0:06:53.640 --> 0:06:55.680 he started to come to a few games here and there, 0:06:55.760 --> 0:06:59.200 and we started to make some more have some more contact, 0:06:59.320 --> 0:07:03.599 have some more somewhat visits, and then again it's sort 0:07:03.600 --> 0:07:07.800 of dropped off for for a while and sort of 0:07:07.800 --> 0:07:14.360 out of the blue, when I was twelve, twelve or thirteen, 0:07:14.360 --> 0:07:17.360 two thousand and two, two thousand and three, we get 0:07:17.360 --> 0:07:20.280 a call sort of out of the blue that he's 0:07:20.320 --> 0:07:21.080 pretty sick, and. 0:07:29.880 --> 0:07:34.120 But yeah, he was. He was a hospital. 0:07:43.440 --> 0:07:58.520 And basically just told comes, hey, goodbye. It's still it's 0:07:58.560 --> 0:08:02.320 still hard now, but it's more of the you know, 0:08:02.520 --> 0:08:09.200 the what epps and you know, his kids turned out 0:08:09.200 --> 0:08:11.120 all right, and now we've. 0:08:11.000 --> 0:08:11.920 Got kids on our own. 0:08:13.800 --> 0:08:20.600 It's just yeah, although we'll never never close or or 0:08:20.640 --> 0:08:28.160 not never really that closest becoming a father. Yeah, you know, 0:08:28.960 --> 0:08:31.840 you only want it's best for your kids and to 0:08:31.880 --> 0:08:32.439 be part. 0:08:32.240 --> 0:08:32.800 Of their life. 0:08:32.840 --> 0:08:36.040 And whether it's his fault or not for not being 0:08:36.080 --> 0:08:41.320 a part now, it was he was so sort of 0:08:41.360 --> 0:08:47.040 young when he did go that he's missed a lot, and. 0:08:47.000 --> 0:08:49.319 I guess it's hard for you now as a father 0:08:49.440 --> 0:08:52.880 to reconcile not having that relationship with his kids. Is that? 0:08:53.280 --> 0:08:57.760 Yeah, So you know, that's that's why I guess a 0:08:57.760 --> 0:09:01.839 lot of my decisions and towards now now having a 0:09:01.920 --> 0:09:04.959 childs what can I do that's best for the kid 0:09:05.080 --> 0:09:07.760 or best of my wife, Like I'm here to support them, 0:09:07.800 --> 0:09:11.040 and I don't want to put my kids through the 0:09:11.040 --> 0:09:16.160 same thing. Okay, all right, we've got the first cry 0:09:16.200 --> 0:09:16.880 od of the way. 0:09:18.360 --> 0:09:21.000 We're all locked in. Do you want to take the moment? No? 0:09:21.000 --> 0:09:23.640 No, I'm okay now that that's just that's always a 0:09:23.720 --> 0:09:29.120 tough one to get through. Its completely understand. But but 0:09:29.600 --> 0:09:33.400 you know, childhood was was sort of rough. Grew up, 0:09:34.160 --> 0:09:38.400 you know, single parent. Mum worked on and off, but 0:09:38.600 --> 0:09:40.920 we got by. We were sort of scraped by. And 0:09:43.600 --> 0:09:46.280 Mom did an amazing job dealing with all us four 0:09:46.360 --> 0:09:51.000 kids and getting us everywhere and travels and basketball and 0:09:51.160 --> 0:09:53.360 you know, my sister played netball and brother played footy 0:09:53.440 --> 0:09:56.600 and cricket and and everything else in between. Yeah, it's 0:09:56.679 --> 0:09:59.040 it's I got one kid, and I got a wife, 0:09:59.040 --> 0:10:01.120 and we're here most of the and I'm like, Jesus 0:10:01.200 --> 0:10:04.320 is hard work. And she had she had four of us. 0:10:04.640 --> 0:10:08.160 My sisters and brother are eighteen months apart, and then 0:10:08.200 --> 0:10:10.000 I'm a couple of years after. So, you know, she 0:10:10.080 --> 0:10:14.040 had a lot at an early age with us kids 0:10:14.040 --> 0:10:15.959 and sort of taken a lot of it on herself. 0:10:15.960 --> 0:10:18.000 And I didn't appreciate it when I was growing up. 0:10:18.040 --> 0:10:21.160 I was like, why can I get this, or you know, 0:10:21.280 --> 0:10:23.440 all that sort of stuff. But looking back now, like, 0:10:23.520 --> 0:10:26.640 it's amazing how she held it all together and got 0:10:26.720 --> 0:10:29.800 us all through it. And you know, we had some 0:10:30.480 --> 0:10:31.959 ups and downs during that period. 0:10:33.800 --> 0:10:34.680 Yeah, Mum had. 0:10:36.080 --> 0:10:40.000 Had one partner that was difficult for us. So she 0:10:40.120 --> 0:10:45.240 joined the police academy and became a police officer. Met 0:10:45.280 --> 0:10:49.520 this guy who was also a police officer. I was 0:10:49.559 --> 0:10:53.800 probably seven, seven and eight somewhere around there. 0:10:54.360 --> 0:10:55.880 So yeah, just a police officer. 0:10:56.080 --> 0:10:59.240 Obviously work pretty strange hours and night shifts and things 0:10:59.280 --> 0:11:04.720 like that. So and and he wasn't a very pleasant fellow. 0:11:05.320 --> 0:11:08.760 He he had a lot of back problems and back pains, 0:11:08.800 --> 0:11:12.920 and he was on on some pay meds sort of 0:11:12.960 --> 0:11:16.240 at the time, but generally just wasn't wasn't very pleasant 0:11:16.720 --> 0:11:17.720 person to be around. 0:11:19.120 --> 0:11:20.120 It was always difficult. 0:11:20.160 --> 0:11:24.560 So if mum was away at night shift, you know, 0:11:24.679 --> 0:11:26.520 we sort of had to be on the best behavior, 0:11:26.600 --> 0:11:30.560 and if if things didn't go well or we weren't 0:11:30.559 --> 0:11:34.600 well behaved, you know, there was consequences where there was 0:11:34.920 --> 0:11:40.880 you know physically with you know, belts across the knuckles 0:11:41.000 --> 0:11:45.880 or ruler or something like that. And then there was 0:11:45.880 --> 0:11:49.760 also sort of more of a mental side where he'd 0:11:49.800 --> 0:11:51.240 kind of get you out of bed at two three 0:11:51.280 --> 0:11:54.480 in the morning and would run the stairs in the house, 0:11:54.640 --> 0:12:01.079 or a few times he he locked me out of 0:12:01.120 --> 0:12:06.840 the house at two three in the morning and just 0:12:06.920 --> 0:12:08.880 basically shut off all lights and locked me out and 0:12:09.720 --> 0:12:11.560 left me out there for I don't remember how long, 0:12:11.640 --> 0:12:14.280 but at that age you're scared of everything and every 0:12:14.320 --> 0:12:17.720 little noise, and it wasn't sort of the where we 0:12:17.760 --> 0:12:22.120 lived was okay, but yeah, it was just sort of 0:12:22.320 --> 0:12:24.960 things like that that that we. 0:12:25.080 --> 0:12:26.400 Dealt with for a while, and. 0:12:29.040 --> 0:12:33.160 Me being the youngest, I probably didn't process it as 0:12:33.200 --> 0:12:36.040 much as sort of the other kids until it sort 0:12:36.080 --> 0:12:44.400 of builds up. So that was always tough. It's tough here, 0:12:44.600 --> 0:12:47.160 And if mum was on night shift and then she 0:12:47.280 --> 0:12:50.959 slept during the day, then Basically we were confined to 0:12:51.200 --> 0:12:55.280 the downstairs so we wouldn't wake mums as the kitchen 0:12:55.360 --> 0:12:57.719 and their bedroom are on the and the land room 0:12:57.720 --> 0:12:59.880 were on the top floor. So yeah, it just was 0:13:00.240 --> 0:13:03.400 sort of a great happy place to be around for 0:13:03.400 --> 0:13:08.360 for a little while. And one morning we're getting up 0:13:08.360 --> 0:13:16.080 for school. I don't remember I heard anything over through 0:13:16.080 --> 0:13:20.839 the night or not, but he was found in our 0:13:20.840 --> 0:13:44.959 front room. Mhkah, and uh he shot himself. H m hmmm. 0:13:46.200 --> 0:13:49.760 So it was I don't remember much around. 0:13:51.600 --> 0:13:54.360 That day. I remember we didn't go to school. 0:13:56.920 --> 0:14:00.760 Yeah, yeah, I don't don't sort of recalled too much 0:14:00.800 --> 0:14:05.160 from from that time, but yeah, I remember the front 0:14:05.200 --> 0:14:08.240 room was kind of the spare room. That's where we 0:14:08.240 --> 0:14:12.840 had sort of the old desktop computer and the landline 0:14:12.880 --> 0:14:15.000 and then log into the internet and make all the 0:14:15.040 --> 0:14:20.240 buzzy noises and it was it had to be obviously 0:14:20.600 --> 0:14:24.680 recarpeted and repainted and everything like that, and that's that's 0:14:24.800 --> 0:14:27.840 what I remember most. It's just sort of the changing 0:14:27.840 --> 0:14:29.640 that that happened up there. 0:14:32.520 --> 0:14:37.800 So yeah, he was. 0:14:35.760 --> 0:14:39.040 It's obviously easies e from the outside. He wasn't a 0:14:39.080 --> 0:14:42.880 happy person and took it out on us kids and 0:14:42.920 --> 0:14:48.720 eventually sort of got to himself. Mum became even more 0:14:48.920 --> 0:14:50.960 sort of protective after all that, and. 0:14:53.600 --> 0:14:56.120 You know, the early stages that. 0:14:58.160 --> 0:15:01.120 I guess things, things that I'd never to dealt with 0:15:01.360 --> 0:15:09.000 or not not stuff that outside of Katie and my 0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:12.840 media family that would know about. It's not something you 0:15:12.920 --> 0:15:16.240 kind of bring up to people, Yeah, how's your weekend. 0:15:17.440 --> 0:15:21.360 So it's obviously a lot behind the scenes that that 0:15:21.440 --> 0:15:25.520 I didn't didn't deal with and kept down for a 0:15:25.520 --> 0:15:31.720 long period of time. But you know, it was always 0:15:31.800 --> 0:15:36.720 kind of not the back of thought, but it always 0:15:36.760 --> 0:15:40.800 made me a little bit a little bit more, a 0:15:40.800 --> 0:15:43.840 little bit more sort of to myself, a little bit 0:15:43.880 --> 0:15:49.800 more reserved, a little bit more cautious and and worrying 0:15:49.800 --> 0:15:53.160 about sort of little things. I don't know if that 0:15:53.200 --> 0:15:56.120 was just a coping mechanism or or what if it's 0:15:56.160 --> 0:15:59.840 just how I was supposed to be anyway, that just 0:16:00.200 --> 0:16:04.720 the quiet, quiet kid. But after that sort of period, 0:16:06.320 --> 0:16:08.800 things things got, you know a little bit better, and 0:16:09.360 --> 0:16:12.080 basketball started to take a big, a big chunk of 0:16:12.120 --> 0:16:14.680 my time, big part of my life, and a lot 0:16:14.680 --> 0:16:17.840 of great things started to come from that, with with 0:16:17.920 --> 0:16:21.920 making teams and making friends and my mum met my 0:16:22.000 --> 0:16:25.680 now stepdad through that and he's he's awesome. Kev's been 0:16:26.680 --> 0:16:29.120 Kev's been great, and we've got a little bit of 0:16:29.160 --> 0:16:32.560 a Brady bunch family now. So Kev's got four kids 0:16:32.600 --> 0:16:36.480 and from his previous marriage and we've got four kids 0:16:36.520 --> 0:16:39.840 and two sets of twins between the families and it's 0:16:39.840 --> 0:16:40.320 all sorts. 0:16:40.360 --> 0:16:41.840 It's it was. 0:16:41.720 --> 0:16:44.160 It was a little bit of a madhouse, but me 0:16:44.320 --> 0:16:47.240 and the youngest boy, Will with the same age, and 0:16:47.280 --> 0:16:50.000 we met through but he came and joined Frankston and 0:16:50.000 --> 0:16:52.800 and we became friends, and then Mum and keV built 0:16:52.800 --> 0:16:54.640 from there. But it was it was really nice having, 0:16:54.800 --> 0:16:57.640 you know, a friend that became a brother and basketball. 0:16:58.240 --> 0:17:01.440 But they've been together ever since. Very happy to see 0:17:02.160 --> 0:17:04.760 mum happy after everything. 0:17:04.880 --> 0:17:08.400 So so Kev's been really good to her and they're 0:17:08.440 --> 0:17:10.720 out in the little farm and doing their own stuff. 0:17:10.760 --> 0:17:13.679 And it's been nice coming back after being away for 0:17:13.920 --> 0:17:16.520 sort of so long and letting my son go over 0:17:16.520 --> 0:17:19.240 there and all the all his little cousins. It's a 0:17:19.280 --> 0:17:20.520 good place to meet up. They've got a bit of 0:17:20.520 --> 0:17:23.480 space and let him all run around. So that's been 0:17:23.520 --> 0:17:27.040 a big, big, positive sort of life change for all 0:17:27.080 --> 0:17:30.400 of us. Just you know, finding good people and mom 0:17:30.440 --> 0:17:33.880 now happy. So yeah, I feel like I've just been 0:17:33.920 --> 0:17:36.680 talking and crying, so surely got some questions in there 0:17:36.720 --> 0:17:38.080 to break me up. 0:17:39.320 --> 0:17:43.320 I'm so sorry for everything that has happened to you. 0:17:43.359 --> 0:17:44.400 I really am. 0:17:44.840 --> 0:17:49.520 I just simply cannot imagine what that was like as 0:17:49.600 --> 0:17:54.320 a kid. Your mom. You spoke about her a little bit, 0:17:54.400 --> 0:17:56.880 but I mean, she sounds like one of the toughest 0:17:57.640 --> 0:18:00.640 people on earth. Can you tell me a little about 0:18:00.880 --> 0:18:04.359 your relationship with her and what she got through with 0:18:04.160 --> 0:18:05.680 the four kids as well? 0:18:06.760 --> 0:18:12.520 Yeah, incredibly tough. Yeah, how she sort of just got 0:18:12.560 --> 0:18:15.479 us all through that period, or through that long stage 0:18:15.480 --> 0:18:18.600 of of our childhood and kept us all together and 0:18:18.880 --> 0:18:22.760 kept us, you know, fair and dressed and able to 0:18:22.800 --> 0:18:26.400 get to everything that we wanted to. Yeah, is pretty incredible, 0:18:26.440 --> 0:18:30.880 look back, and we got very very close. Obviously being 0:18:30.880 --> 0:18:33.840 the youngest son of an Italian family and obviously the favorite, 0:18:34.880 --> 0:18:37.720 which all the siblings know about. 0:18:40.960 --> 0:18:45.080 Else. Yes, basically, but. 0:18:45.359 --> 0:18:48.560 She played basketball and it was pretty good. She tells 0:18:48.560 --> 0:18:51.600 me she's pretty good. She keeps telling me all the 0:18:51.680 --> 0:18:54.800 names she used to play against, the Tims and so 0:18:54.920 --> 0:18:57.280 on and so forth, and I'm like, Okay, that's I 0:18:57.320 --> 0:18:58.000 know who that is. 0:18:58.040 --> 0:19:00.400 So you're all right, I'm dressed up as miss Teams 0:19:00.440 --> 0:19:01.680 for one of my school days when I was a 0:19:01.720 --> 0:19:02.320 little kids. 0:19:04.200 --> 0:19:05.120 Yeah, exactly perfect. 0:19:07.720 --> 0:19:08.520 So, yeah, she was. 0:19:08.600 --> 0:19:10.880 She was a little feisty point guard mum, But yeah, 0:19:11.760 --> 0:19:15.119 basketball was was a big connector for us and probably 0:19:15.160 --> 0:19:18.000 a big healer as well. She obviously has a passion 0:19:18.000 --> 0:19:20.399 for the game, and most of my family does. But 0:19:21.080 --> 0:19:23.840 it's been you know, every Friday night traveling to games 0:19:23.880 --> 0:19:28.480 and games throughout the week for domestic and trainings and 0:19:28.520 --> 0:19:31.160 everything else. So we spent a lot of time traveling 0:19:31.240 --> 0:19:35.639 and in the car and talking about basketball and everything 0:19:35.680 --> 0:19:37.760 like that. I didn't talk about anything else, so basketball 0:19:37.800 --> 0:19:40.680 was easy. So yeah, and that was basically all my 0:19:40.760 --> 0:19:43.959 junior basketball was. It was Mum and I traveling around 0:19:44.040 --> 0:19:47.600 and yeah, we got very close and she rode sort 0:19:47.640 --> 0:19:49.639 of all the highs and lows that I did with 0:19:49.760 --> 0:19:53.719 junior basketball and not making state teams and making state teams, 0:19:53.760 --> 0:19:56.240 and when I sort of left for the as it 0:19:56.280 --> 0:19:58.000 was hard on her, like that was a big part 0:19:58.040 --> 0:20:02.840 for her. I went away at sixteen seventeen and then 0:20:02.920 --> 0:20:06.800 spent I guess most of the next fourteen years away 0:20:07.320 --> 0:20:09.760 sort of. I was the youngest, but it was sort 0:20:09.760 --> 0:20:12.480 of out of the house first and off the other 0:20:12.520 --> 0:20:14.679 side of you know, not cameras, not too far, but 0:20:14.680 --> 0:20:16.280 then after that the other side of the world, and 0:20:16.640 --> 0:20:19.359 that was that was difficult obviously for her aunt for 0:20:19.480 --> 0:20:23.680 I but yeah, Mom, yeah, it's tough as nails. And 0:20:23.960 --> 0:20:27.240 without her it definitely would have been a lot worse 0:20:27.280 --> 0:20:31.800 for us kind of getting through and would have changed. 0:20:32.040 --> 0:20:35.040 Little boy through the room, little Jackson would have. 0:20:38.080 --> 0:20:40.960 You know, without Mum, the four of us would have 0:20:41.000 --> 0:20:43.360 been in a lot worse shape than than what we are. 0:20:43.480 --> 0:20:46.280 And although we didn't have much, she found a way 0:20:46.280 --> 0:20:48.760 to give us all the opportunities that we could ever want. 0:20:48.840 --> 0:20:51.680 And you know, a big reason for why I've had 0:20:51.720 --> 0:20:54.080 the basketball career that I have is sort of her 0:20:54.119 --> 0:20:58.040 sacrificing and putting us kids well and truly above herself. 0:20:58.119 --> 0:21:00.639 And you know, now she gets to to reap some 0:21:00.680 --> 0:21:03.440 of the waters to all the grandkids, which she loves, loves, 0:21:03.560 --> 0:21:05.800 loves all that stuff. She'll complain about it, she'll say, 0:21:05.920 --> 0:21:08.600 I'm pretty tired, but I do you want to take Jackson? Yea, yeh, yeah, 0:21:08.640 --> 0:21:10.880 bring him down, Yeah, I'll bring him down. I'll take 0:21:10.880 --> 0:21:13.119 care of him. So it's nice. 0:21:13.240 --> 0:21:16.400 And it was even harder than that, wasn't it for her? 0:21:16.119 --> 0:21:18.959 You speak of being the youngest of four, but they 0:21:18.960 --> 0:21:23.000 were twin sisters and even that wasn't straightforward for her. 0:21:23.880 --> 0:21:27.000 No, Yeah, the twin sisters, there were about ten or 0:21:27.000 --> 0:21:32.159 twelve weeks premature. One of the sisters, Melissa, she was 0:21:32.200 --> 0:21:35.960 getting more of the nutrients through the umbilical cord. So 0:21:36.080 --> 0:21:39.359 even today, they were supposed to be identical twins, males 0:21:39.440 --> 0:21:42.640 quite a bit taller than Carly, But yeah, they were very, 0:21:42.720 --> 0:21:45.879 very small, and Carlie especially had a very low chance 0:21:45.920 --> 0:21:48.200 of sort of I guess surviving. 0:21:50.320 --> 0:21:52.200 She was fitting the size. 0:21:51.960 --> 0:21:54.560 Of your hand and didn't weigh anything, and they spend 0:21:54.640 --> 0:21:57.120 a lot of time in the hospital. They were even 0:21:57.119 --> 0:21:59.960 blessed by the Pope when he came through for visit. 0:22:01.160 --> 0:22:04.040 My name being a Roman Catholic was I think she's 0:22:04.040 --> 0:22:09.000 still got the photo, but yees, so, I couldn't imagine 0:22:09.119 --> 0:22:11.840 that sort of period as a parent, sort of watching 0:22:11.840 --> 0:22:15.879 the little kids five for life. But they're both happy 0:22:15.880 --> 0:22:19.440 and healthy now. Carli still has some hearing loss from 0:22:19.600 --> 0:22:23.520 from that period from her development, but they're they're both 0:22:23.560 --> 0:22:26.040 doing great. Carli's got a couple of kids, Male's got three, 0:22:26.200 --> 0:22:29.440 and they just started getting back into the afl W, 0:22:29.640 --> 0:22:31.320 or not the afl W but the local leagues and 0:22:31.560 --> 0:22:35.040 love it. And Carlie's this tiny little whippet that gets 0:22:35.080 --> 0:22:37.320 crunched and she's as tough as NW. She just get 0:22:37.480 --> 0:22:40.200 straight back up. And Mel has a bung knees run 0:22:40.240 --> 0:22:42.800 around and first year and I think I think they 0:22:42.840 --> 0:22:44.680 went one, two and the best and fairest or something 0:22:44.800 --> 0:22:49.800 like that. So spawning family, strong women, strong women too. 0:22:49.960 --> 0:22:53.960 So yeah, there's been a lot of I guess challenges 0:22:54.000 --> 0:22:58.879 and her mum especially has weathered it probably better than most, 0:22:58.920 --> 0:23:00.520 to be honest. That true. 0:23:00.600 --> 0:23:03.000 One day that you actually broke your bone as a 0:23:03.040 --> 0:23:06.040 little attacker in you you look on your face with 0:23:06.080 --> 0:23:06.840 a smile. 0:23:07.400 --> 0:23:10.040 Yes. Story. 0:23:11.200 --> 0:23:13.800 So this one's a little more well known. But I 0:23:13.840 --> 0:23:19.720 think I was in grade four, grade five, eight or nine. Yeah, yeah, 0:23:21.720 --> 0:23:25.000 So we played in the semi final, it must have 0:23:25.000 --> 0:23:28.399 been grade five, so semi final domestic. To make the 0:23:28.440 --> 0:23:31.359 ground final, I took a charge and put my hand 0:23:31.400 --> 0:23:35.520 back to brace, fell to pain. Cried obviously at that point, 0:23:35.560 --> 0:23:37.320 because what else do you do it at that age 0:23:37.320 --> 0:23:42.320 when you fall over. Basically got told you're fine, go 0:23:42.400 --> 0:23:45.200 finish the game. We don't win in the game by 0:23:45.320 --> 0:23:47.720 your mom. Yes, my mom was a coach. She has 0:23:47.760 --> 0:23:49.560 a coach. I think she's a coach. If not, she 0:23:49.600 --> 0:23:53.720 definitely was yelling at from the stands. And then back 0:23:53.720 --> 0:23:56.320 at that stage, I was playing like a mixed mixed 0:23:56.320 --> 0:23:59.080 neple as well, and my sister's played sort of netball. 0:23:59.200 --> 0:24:01.359 It was kind of there, I may as well do something, 0:24:01.400 --> 0:24:04.800 and the girls played later on in the day, so 0:24:04.920 --> 0:24:06.399 I was gold gold attack. 0:24:06.440 --> 0:24:07.320 A goal shooter. 0:24:08.680 --> 0:24:10.360 Was like, you know, I'm in a lot of pain. 0:24:10.440 --> 0:24:12.840 I can't really catch the ball or whatever. She's like. 0:24:13.359 --> 0:24:15.120