WEBVTT - ASK UNCUT - Your free weekly therapy session! 0:00:21.160 --> 0:00:23.680 Hey you guys, and welcome back to another episode of 0:00:23.760 --> 0:00:25.520 Life on cud Ask on Cut edition. 0:00:25.680 --> 0:00:27.280 It is your first day drop. 0:00:27.400 --> 0:00:31.639 It is source of Spicy, Quick, dirty and damn rite interesting. 0:00:31.720 --> 0:00:36.000 It's where we answer your questions. I'm Britney and I'm 0:00:36.040 --> 0:00:38.720 Laura Brittany. You after a radio gig or something? 0:00:38.800 --> 0:00:43.360 How was that that was just off the calf? Was 0:00:43.400 --> 0:00:44.120 that good? Yeah? 0:00:44.159 --> 0:00:46.680 But I feel like you're like a morning FM host. 0:00:46.920 --> 0:00:50.040 Did you love the part where I didn't break dirty? Yeah? 0:00:50.080 --> 0:00:52.600 And she was like seering into my pupils at the 0:00:52.600 --> 0:00:54.800 same time, I legitimately didn't look away from you the 0:00:54.840 --> 0:00:57.120 whole time trying to seduce me. Well, it's like, yeah, 0:00:57.160 --> 0:00:58.480 did I did it work? Not really? 0:00:58.600 --> 0:00:59.480 Damn it close. 0:00:59.760 --> 0:01:01.440 I mean to go back to start pay much to 0:01:01.440 --> 0:01:03.360 get me off these days, guys. 0:01:03.680 --> 0:01:05.600 Looking at you across the microphone. That's it. 0:01:05.959 --> 0:01:08.880 Times are tough anyway, Guys, you know what this episode is. 0:01:09.120 --> 0:01:11.880 This is where we answer all of your questions and 0:01:12.040 --> 0:01:15.280 we have had quite the few this week that have 0:01:15.319 --> 0:01:18.039 been written in Let's be real. Britt has chosen the 0:01:18.080 --> 0:01:20.240 questions because she's the one who does all the dms 0:01:20.280 --> 0:01:22.880 and the Instagram, but actually no, but to be fair, 0:01:22.920 --> 0:01:25.800 you've chosen one today, one that resonated with you. 0:01:25.959 --> 0:01:26.160 Yeah. 0:01:26.200 --> 0:01:28.080 Well, we did actually put one of these questions up 0:01:28.120 --> 0:01:31.360 on the Facebook page. And I'm just gonna say, come on, guys, 0:01:31.400 --> 0:01:33.560 like we put these things up there expecting everyone to 0:01:33.600 --> 0:01:35.800 bend together and help the team out. And I feel 0:01:35.880 --> 0:01:38.560 like this question wasn't answered to the best of its ability, 0:01:38.720 --> 0:01:40.840 so we're going to answer it. Probably still not to 0:01:40.880 --> 0:01:43.200 the best of its ability. But that's not why you 0:01:43.319 --> 0:01:48.480 come to us. Why do they come to us, Laura 0:01:48.600 --> 0:01:51.400 for our enthusiasm. We didn't want to just touch base 0:01:51.440 --> 0:01:54.080 on this week's episode. On Tuesday, the breakup episode, we 0:01:54.080 --> 0:01:56.080 had such a good response from that, and you guys 0:01:56.400 --> 0:01:58.040 really took something from that. A lot of you have 0:01:58.120 --> 0:02:00.720 said you're going through breakups currently and has already really 0:02:00.800 --> 0:02:01.200 helped you. 0:02:02.280 --> 0:02:03.160 We love hearing that. 0:02:03.280 --> 0:02:06.160 So it's so nice to get your responses and say 0:02:06.160 --> 0:02:08.920 that you've taken something from that, and a lot of 0:02:08.919 --> 0:02:10.720 you just said you had a good old chuckle. 0:02:10.760 --> 0:02:12.840 We love that too. Yeah, well, it was wild. That 0:02:12.919 --> 0:02:15.320 was our wild. We were so wild, were so much. 0:02:15.480 --> 0:02:18.040 She's not what I was saying. It's out of control. 0:02:19.800 --> 0:02:20.959 Do you want to calm down? Do you want to 0:02:20.960 --> 0:02:23.079 stop stop doing and they have had some sugar. I 0:02:23.120 --> 0:02:26.400 don't know, Okay. So it was wild because it was 0:02:26.440 --> 0:02:28.840 our most downloaded episode that we've ever done in a 0:02:28.880 --> 0:02:31.359 single day, which is yeah, that was a high five. 0:02:32.160 --> 0:02:34.359 Thanks for that, guys, I really appreciate it. It actually 0:02:34.360 --> 0:02:36.480 was our highest rating app But it also just goes 0:02:36.560 --> 0:02:38.840 to show how many people are going through breakups, how 0:02:38.880 --> 0:02:40.920 many people have been through them. I think it's like 0:02:40.960 --> 0:02:43.560 that one universal thing that we are all going to 0:02:43.600 --> 0:02:45.640 go through at some point in our life and like 0:02:45.680 --> 0:02:48.200 a little a nice warm hug to say that we've 0:02:48.240 --> 0:02:50.720 all been through it before. But also it's the same 0:02:50.720 --> 0:02:53.120 for these episodes where you guys writing all of your 0:02:53.160 --> 0:02:55.880 questions and the fact one that you trust us to 0:02:55.919 --> 0:02:58.680 answer your questions, but also it makes us realize that, 0:02:58.760 --> 0:03:00.519 you know, we're all in this together. We're all going 0:03:00.560 --> 0:03:03.040 through our own things at different times. And I always 0:03:03.080 --> 0:03:05.920 say this every single week, but it's really nice to 0:03:05.960 --> 0:03:08.640 be reminded that you're not alone in the problems that 0:03:08.639 --> 0:03:11.680 you're having. We also had a lot of feedback and 0:03:11.720 --> 0:03:14.840 your own stories that you wrote into both Laura's and 0:03:14.880 --> 0:03:16.959 my story on the break in, So it was a 0:03:16.960 --> 0:03:19.280 break up episode, but we started it with the break 0:03:19.320 --> 0:03:21.840 ins because we thought that works. Well, No, that just 0:03:21.880 --> 0:03:24.240 happened by fluke chance. I know you're trying to like 0:03:24.240 --> 0:03:25.640 like make some and we didn't. 0:03:26.080 --> 0:03:26.520 Correlation. 0:03:26.680 --> 0:03:28.560 Nothing's planned, guys. We could just get on here and 0:03:28.600 --> 0:03:30.639 we wing it. But some of your stories were so funny. 0:03:30.639 --> 0:03:33.440 But there was one that I'm just gonna like completely summarize. 0:03:33.800 --> 0:03:35.360 There was this one girl that wrote in and she 0:03:35.400 --> 0:03:37.520 was at her boyfriend's house and it was like five 0:03:37.560 --> 0:03:39.680 am and they live sort of on a property like 0:03:39.760 --> 0:03:43.240 quite like quite away from everything, and it's five am 0:03:43.280 --> 0:03:45.680 and she hears that someone's at the door and she 0:03:45.720 --> 0:03:47.280 wakes up. She's like, oh my god, someone's at the 0:03:47.320 --> 0:03:49.240 door and they know they're home alone. So she wakes 0:03:49.240 --> 0:03:51.960 a partner up and he's like, you're imagining it. They 0:03:51.960 --> 0:03:54.240 hear it again, then it goes silent, and he's like, no, 0:03:54.320 --> 0:03:57.680 I did hear selling, but it's gone now anyway, it's awesome. Yeah, No, 0:03:57.800 --> 0:04:00.240 A minute goes past, and then they hear it at 0:04:00.280 --> 0:04:02.880 the back door. They're like, holy shit, they've gone to 0:04:02.880 --> 0:04:05.280 try and get into the back door. Now, what are 0:04:05.280 --> 0:04:06.280 we going to do? Then they hear it at the 0:04:06.280 --> 0:04:08.400 front draw again. They're like, oh my god, babe, they're 0:04:08.400 --> 0:04:10.080 fucking coming in both entrances. 0:04:09.840 --> 0:04:10.800 There's a group of. 0:04:10.720 --> 0:04:13.040 Them and they're breaking in as a fucking group being 0:04:13.040 --> 0:04:13.640 double ended. 0:04:14.040 --> 0:04:15.560 They get up, they call the police. 0:04:15.600 --> 0:04:17.320 The police are on their way to like, people are 0:04:17.360 --> 0:04:18.479 trying to break into our house. 0:04:18.720 --> 0:04:20.640 It's five. We don't know what to do. They're like, 0:04:20.720 --> 0:04:23.279 lock yourself in your room. So they lock the I'm 0:04:23.320 --> 0:04:25.080 so embarrassed for them already. 0:04:26.400 --> 0:04:28.640 In the room and they're sitting there with like some 0:04:28.680 --> 0:04:31.040 sort of weapon that they've found in their room barricade, 0:04:31.040 --> 0:04:32.720 and they can still hear the door going, like this 0:04:32.760 --> 0:04:35.160 person's hardcore trying to break in. The police arrive and 0:04:35.160 --> 0:04:36.960 they knock on the front door, and like they were 0:04:36.960 --> 0:04:38.840 even too scared to get out and answer the police 0:04:38.839 --> 0:04:40.760 because they're like, the person's in the house. We heard them, 0:04:40.800 --> 0:04:43.520 We heard the doggy door go into the house. They 0:04:43.760 --> 0:04:45.240 now there's a dogged door at the house, but it's 0:04:45.240 --> 0:04:46.440 not for their dog. They don't have a dog. 0:04:47.760 --> 0:04:49.000 It was just it was before that. 0:04:49.600 --> 0:04:53.400 So they hear the police and they're like, do we 0:04:53.440 --> 0:04:55.080 do this? What if the person's in the house and 0:04:55.120 --> 0:04:56.320 we go to the front door to get the police, 0:04:56.360 --> 0:04:57.840 but to get sabbed, so they get us on the way. 0:04:57.880 --> 0:04:59.920 We've been watching too much screen. So she sends him. 0:05:00.240 --> 0:05:02.640 She's like, babe, go to the police. So the police 0:05:02.640 --> 0:05:04.320 are at the front and the back as well. The 0:05:04.320 --> 0:05:07.040 police go the boyfriend goes to the police at the front, 0:05:07.040 --> 0:05:09.280 and the girlfriend goes to police the back. Then the 0:05:09.320 --> 0:05:14.120 policemen say, mate, you've lost your dog. We've found it. 0:05:14.560 --> 0:05:17.760 They're like, what weell, I don't have a dog. They're like, well, 0:05:17.760 --> 0:05:18.560 you do have a dog. 0:05:19.839 --> 0:05:21.800 Here's your dog. And she's like, I don't. I don't 0:05:21.839 --> 0:05:22.120 have it. 0:05:22.120 --> 0:05:24.120 She's like, I don't have a dog. Someone's in my 0:05:24.160 --> 0:05:24.839 fucking house. 0:05:24.920 --> 0:05:25.280 I do not. 0:05:25.400 --> 0:05:27.440 I am telling you I do not have a dog. 0:05:27.880 --> 0:05:28.440 This goes on. 0:05:28.560 --> 0:05:30.760 She's like check, they're going check my house, like someone 0:05:30.839 --> 0:05:37.279 is in there anyway. Turns out turn out her boyfriend 0:05:37.880 --> 0:05:41.039 family dog is so obsessed with them. They live across town. 0:05:41.240 --> 0:05:45.320 At five am, he missed this dog missed them across 0:05:45.000 --> 0:05:48.240 an hour across the town to find them, and then 0:05:48.279 --> 0:05:49.920 started running around the house trying to get in the 0:05:50.000 --> 0:05:51.600 front of the back, in the front of the back, 0:05:51.839 --> 0:05:53.400 like and then and that's what it was. It was 0:05:53.400 --> 0:05:55.200 the bloody dog trying to break in. They'd called the police, 0:05:55.200 --> 0:05:57.279 they'd wasted their time for like an hour, and it 0:05:57.360 --> 0:05:58.000 was his dog. 0:05:58.080 --> 0:06:01.039 I love that this came off the back of your koalist. Guys. 0:06:01.080 --> 0:06:03.679 I think we've hit capacity. No more stories about animals 0:06:03.960 --> 0:06:06.680 rubbing your houses. I honestly love it so much, very 0:06:06.760 --> 0:06:09.159 very cute. Anyway, that was That's all it's happened. 0:06:09.279 --> 0:06:09.559 Guys. 0:06:11.920 --> 0:06:13.800 It's been two days. We've had no more break We 0:06:13.880 --> 0:06:16.400 record it on Monday. Nothing has happened in my life, 0:06:16.440 --> 0:06:19.480 but Brick got keys to her apartment. She lies, big 0:06:19.520 --> 0:06:22.000 things have happened, well, actually small things, because her apartment 0:06:22.040 --> 0:06:25.040 is very small. I don't feel like it's big things happening. 0:06:25.040 --> 0:06:26.960 But I picked up my keys. Guys, I moved my 0:06:27.080 --> 0:06:28.200 microwaving and what. 0:06:28.120 --> 0:06:29.679 Else do you need? A bed? 0:06:30.160 --> 0:06:32.560 Oh yeah, oh chestnut. Now I've got heaps of stuff. 0:06:32.600 --> 0:06:34.320 It's going to be a big few days moving in. 0:06:34.360 --> 0:06:37.719 But for now, I've got me a microwave and a 0:06:37.720 --> 0:06:40.479 plant and a plant. That's I think that they're the essentials, right, 0:06:40.560 --> 0:06:42.240 a microwave and a plant. Well, yeah, well, I don't 0:06:42.240 --> 0:06:43.159 know what you have in your house. 0:06:43.480 --> 0:06:45.520 Well, I mean I've got a pile of shit right here. 0:06:45.520 --> 0:06:47.320 I got a lot of pile of shit right here. 0:06:47.760 --> 0:06:50.040 Brick comes into my house sometimes and I'm like, look, 0:06:50.560 --> 0:06:54.520 it's it's very messy. Everything is in organized piles of shit. No, 0:06:54.880 --> 0:06:56.240 this is what happens when you have a kid. 0:06:56.320 --> 0:06:58.400 It's not that. It's actually not mess She's in that 0:06:58.440 --> 0:07:00.920 pile over there. Movie isn't. 0:07:02.320 --> 0:07:04.640 Okay, Well, enough of this, let's get into the questions. 0:07:04.640 --> 0:07:06.880 We've got three questions for this episode that you guys 0:07:06.920 --> 0:07:08.800 have written in and we're gonna make it. 0:07:08.680 --> 0:07:10.720 Short, sharp, and ready to rumble. 0:07:10.920 --> 0:07:13.840 Okay, First up, guys, my boyfriend and I have a 0:07:13.880 --> 0:07:16.000 lot in common, and whenever we are together we talk 0:07:16.040 --> 0:07:19.800 a lot. However, for some reason, I sometimes get nervous 0:07:19.800 --> 0:07:22.000 before going out to dinner with him, like on a 0:07:22.080 --> 0:07:24.560 nice state, because I worry that we're gonna sit there 0:07:24.600 --> 0:07:27.680 and not have anything to talk about. How do you 0:07:27.720 --> 0:07:30.080 come up with fresh and fun conversations on date night 0:07:30.080 --> 0:07:33.400 when you spend so much time together already? Sos So 0:07:33.560 --> 0:07:36.200 I picked I picked this question. This question came in 0:07:36.400 --> 0:07:38.240 and Brut was like, ah, no, no, no, like we'll 0:07:38.280 --> 0:07:38.800 pick another one. 0:07:38.800 --> 0:07:41.680 And I was like, I relate to this, which is 0:07:41.720 --> 0:07:42.520 what I love about you. 0:07:42.600 --> 0:07:44.640 And me and our dynamic is that we are so 0:07:44.680 --> 0:07:46.920 different that we do bring different things because I don't 0:07:47.120 --> 0:07:51.120 have that issue. But it's like, I'm so interesting. I 0:07:51.200 --> 0:07:52.400 always had things to talk about. 0:07:52.480 --> 0:07:53.080 Are you idiots? 0:07:53.120 --> 0:07:55.680 I don't have a long term relationship, but yes, I 0:07:55.680 --> 0:07:56.480 can talk underwater. 0:07:56.640 --> 0:07:59.160 But I meant I don't have a partner. I I 0:07:59.280 --> 0:08:00.480 relate to this much. 0:08:00.520 --> 0:08:02.520 And I even said this to Matt, so like this 0:08:02.600 --> 0:08:05.160 question came into our DMS last night and I and 0:08:05.200 --> 0:08:07.440 I said to Matt like, oh, like, don't you remember 0:08:07.440 --> 0:08:09.840 when we were dating earlier on and like I said, 0:08:09.840 --> 0:08:10.920 did you ever feel like this with me? 0:08:10.960 --> 0:08:13.400 And he was like no, And then I was like, yeah, 0:08:13.560 --> 0:08:15.520 me neither. I didn't. 0:08:16.200 --> 0:08:18.400 I've always felt really super confident and like I knew 0:08:18.400 --> 0:08:19.720 what I was talking about. And then you're closing your 0:08:19.720 --> 0:08:20.960 apps that are like what to talk. 0:08:20.840 --> 0:08:22.960 About on a date? I shit, you not. 0:08:23.200 --> 0:08:26.960 I have literally googled that before, like how to make conversation. 0:08:27.120 --> 0:08:30.200 And what I realized is like, it's not because obviously 0:08:30.440 --> 0:08:32.400 this is not just isolated to Matt, like I've done 0:08:32.440 --> 0:08:36.719 this in multiple past relationships. It's it's from overthinking. If 0:08:36.720 --> 0:08:38.760 you know that you have a great connection with your partner. 0:08:38.760 --> 0:08:40.440 If you know that you have so much in common 0:08:40.800 --> 0:08:42.600 that the worry and the fear that it's attached to 0:08:42.640 --> 0:08:43.920 thinking that you're going to go out for dinner and 0:08:43.920 --> 0:08:47.240 you're going to have nothing to talk about, it's just overthinking. 0:08:47.320 --> 0:08:51.920 It's really like putting this like insecurity and pressure on 0:08:51.960 --> 0:08:52.679 that conversation. 0:08:52.760 --> 0:08:54.839 And it's really sweet because you just you. 0:08:54.800 --> 0:08:57.280 Know, you want to like make sure that the time 0:08:57.320 --> 0:08:59.800 and the conversation is always filled, but you don't have 0:08:59.840 --> 0:09:02.960 to always feel every single moment with conversation. It's actually 0:09:02.960 --> 0:09:06.640 sometimes really nice to be comfortable in your partner's presence 0:09:06.640 --> 0:09:09.080 and be comfortable in the silence of their presence. So 0:09:09.240 --> 0:09:12.319 do you actually have a tip, Laura, Like would you 0:09:12.360 --> 0:09:14.160 say google news articles? 0:09:14.160 --> 0:09:15.960 Would you say no? 0:09:16.360 --> 0:09:18.440 Like, but what about the people that actually are running 0:09:18.440 --> 0:09:21.400 out of convo No, So I would say for starters. 0:09:21.480 --> 0:09:23.480 I think exactly what happened with me and Matt when 0:09:23.520 --> 0:09:25.440 I said to him, like, oh, when we very first 0:09:25.440 --> 0:09:27.640 started dating, I used to get worried that we would 0:09:27.679 --> 0:09:29.240 not have anything to talk about, and I used to 0:09:29.600 --> 0:09:32.040 think and like really sort of stress myself out before 0:09:32.040 --> 0:09:33.920 we'd go for dinners where it's that very like one 0:09:33.920 --> 0:09:37.360 on one, no other stimulus to kind of like stimulate 0:09:37.400 --> 0:09:38.000 the conversation. 0:09:38.440 --> 0:09:40.080 You've just got to talk to each other. 0:09:40.160 --> 0:09:41.720 I used to be a bit fearful that maybe there 0:09:41.720 --> 0:09:43.520 would be silence in that and maybe we wouldn't have 0:09:43.559 --> 0:09:45.880 anything to talk about, especially because we had just come 0:09:45.920 --> 0:09:49.280 from the bachelor world, where there's always some something and 0:09:49.320 --> 0:09:52.160 someone generating conversation for you. Hand it's you on a platter. 0:09:52.200 --> 0:09:54.640 You don't fight for it. Every single time you go 0:09:54.679 --> 0:09:56.839 on a date. There's something happening around you that you're 0:09:56.880 --> 0:09:59.000 told to talk about. So this was the first time 0:09:59.040 --> 0:10:00.960 that we had just been in in each other's company, 0:10:00.960 --> 0:10:03.199 and I was like, oh god, what if we struggle 0:10:03.280 --> 0:10:06.079 to make conversation? And so when I was telling that 0:10:06.200 --> 0:10:08.959 about this question, he just laughed and was like, I 0:10:09.000 --> 0:10:11.080 never felt like that with you. He's like, even if 0:10:11.080 --> 0:10:12.920 there were times where we didn't have anything to talk about, 0:10:12.960 --> 0:10:16.280 I didn't feel that that silence was awkward. And so 0:10:16.679 --> 0:10:18.760 I just think, you don't need to fill all your 0:10:18.800 --> 0:10:21.880 time with conversation. If it's okay to like have silence 0:10:21.920 --> 0:10:24.440 before the next interesting conversation comes to life. Well, the 0:10:24.520 --> 0:10:27.199 thing is, there is a such thing as a comfortable silence. 0:10:27.240 --> 0:10:30.360 And it's the goal that every relationship wants to get to, 0:10:30.440 --> 0:10:32.680 because if you're with somebody long term for the rest 0:10:32.679 --> 0:10:35.560 of your life, I'm talking thirty forty fifty years, I 0:10:35.559 --> 0:10:38.480 can guarantee you you're not going to be constantly talking. 0:10:38.480 --> 0:10:40.720 You're not gonna have something interesting to say all the time. 0:10:40.920 --> 0:10:42.280 So you do want to get to a place where 0:10:42.320 --> 0:10:44.120 you can enjoy a comfortable silence. And I think that 0:10:44.240 --> 0:10:46.640 is an amazing place to get to. So if that's 0:10:46.679 --> 0:10:51.120 what it is, don't stress. I Am going to add 0:10:51.160 --> 0:10:53.040 something else, and that is I have been in a 0:10:53.040 --> 0:10:55.800 position before where I was in this position. I was 0:10:55.800 --> 0:10:58.120 having these silences on a dinner with someone I had 0:10:58.160 --> 0:11:02.040 been dating for quite a while, and it wasn't so 0:11:02.200 --> 0:11:04.679 much comfortable silence anymore. And this is why I had 0:11:04.679 --> 0:11:06.319 to make a decision that it was time to leave 0:11:06.360 --> 0:11:08.640 the relationship. And it's because it wasn't a comfortable silence. 0:11:08.679 --> 0:11:11.320 It was because I was trying to start a conversation 0:11:11.880 --> 0:11:13.680 and I was trying to talk about things that were interesting. 0:11:13.760 --> 0:11:17.360 I was posing questions and my partner at the time 0:11:17.400 --> 0:11:21.120 had zero interesting anything that I did anymore. And it 0:11:21.200 --> 0:11:23.840 smacked me hard in the face, and I realized, Okay, 0:11:23.880 --> 0:11:26.360 this isn't comfortable silence anymore. We just have nothing in common, 0:11:26.600 --> 0:11:28.679 and I think that that is what you need to differentiate. 0:11:29.280 --> 0:11:30.000 Is it comfortable? 0:11:30.080 --> 0:11:31.920 Are you happy just to chill in each other's company 0:11:31.920 --> 0:11:33.400 and you get along like a house on fire in 0:11:33.480 --> 0:11:35.679 every other aspect? Or is it that you were just 0:11:35.720 --> 0:11:38.160 so polar opposites in your views of the world, what 0:11:38.240 --> 0:11:39.880 you want in life, what you think is funny, what 0:11:39.920 --> 0:11:43.200 you think is interesting, what drives you, what stimulates you. 0:11:43.920 --> 0:11:46.640 If you guys are nowhere near that anymore, that's when 0:11:46.679 --> 0:11:49.000 you take a look and think, Okay, maybe we're not 0:11:49.040 --> 0:11:51.680 on the same path, maybe we're not as connected as 0:11:51.720 --> 0:11:54.240 I thought we were totally. But I think in this case, 0:11:54.280 --> 0:11:56.080 because this listener has written in it and she says 0:11:56.120 --> 0:11:58.200 that she does have a lot in common and that 0:11:58.320 --> 0:12:00.680 they have lots of conversations to meet the day, I 0:12:00.679 --> 0:12:03.280 think it's almost unreasonable to think that you can spend 0:12:03.679 --> 0:12:06.679 all day, every minute with your partner, so much time together, 0:12:06.760 --> 0:12:08.560 and then get to dinner time and have all this 0:12:08.720 --> 0:12:10.679 wealth of extra things to talk about. I think you're 0:12:10.679 --> 0:12:13.480 putting an unreasonable amount of pressure on yourself to perform 0:12:13.920 --> 0:12:17.679 like you can't expect to constantly have super super super 0:12:17.720 --> 0:12:20.520 interesting conversations to bring to the dinner table, because you've 0:12:20.559 --> 0:12:22.920 already talked all day about all different things, and so 0:12:22.960 --> 0:12:24.959 you're gonna sit down and you know, like I do, 0:12:24.960 --> 0:12:26.680 think that you sit down at dinner sometimes and you'll 0:12:26.679 --> 0:12:28.960 talk about the food, or you'll talk about a friend, 0:12:29.040 --> 0:12:31.160 or you might not be talking about politics or what's 0:12:31.160 --> 0:12:34.360 happening in the world, all these big, great, incredible, like 0:12:34.760 --> 0:12:38.600 life changing conversations because you can't always be having those conversations. 0:12:38.840 --> 0:12:39.400 Sometimes. 0:12:39.480 --> 0:12:41.800 I actually still do this now. I actually just really 0:12:41.880 --> 0:12:44.679 love to play this game. I'll give an example for you, Laura. 0:12:44.920 --> 0:12:47.079 I'll ask things like, and I think it's a good 0:12:47.080 --> 0:12:48.560 way to get to know each other, but it's also 0:12:48.600 --> 0:12:50.640 a hard question. It's a way to feel a silence 0:12:50.679 --> 0:12:53.720 if you do feel like it's silence. So I would say, 0:12:53.920 --> 0:12:56.480 for example, I'm just plucking this off my head, Laura. 0:12:56.640 --> 0:12:59.240 If you had to give up wine or cheese for 0:12:59.320 --> 0:13:01.480 the rest of your life, you can only have one, 0:13:01.640 --> 0:13:03.520 what's it gonna be like? 0:13:04.600 --> 0:13:07.960 This is like the g rated version of would you rather? 0:13:08.400 --> 0:13:09.240 Would you rather found? 0:13:09.280 --> 0:13:11.560 Would you wear a hatful of spiders or have penises 0:13:11.559 --> 0:13:12.079 for fingers. 0:13:12.520 --> 0:13:16.559 That's fucked. There's always one that takes it too far. 0:13:18.679 --> 0:13:19.960 But I actually want to know, would you gi about 0:13:19.960 --> 0:13:21.240 wine or cheese for the rest of your life? 0:13:21.320 --> 0:13:25.280 Neither? Yeah, that's the Laura. The game is that I 0:13:25.360 --> 0:13:28.480 give up cheese cheese. You don't get to say neither. 0:13:28.600 --> 0:13:31.319 Who are you? Laura Burne? Thank you very much? 0:13:31.360 --> 0:13:33.920 When we're the Bachelor twenty fifteen, sixteen seventeen, I don't 0:13:33.960 --> 0:13:34.920 even know how long it was? 0:13:35.640 --> 0:13:38.400 Seven sold. Do you know what else you can do? 0:13:38.600 --> 0:13:39.400 Just have a kid. 0:13:39.840 --> 0:13:41.840 Just have kids, and then you'll never go out for 0:13:41.880 --> 0:13:44.839 dinner and you'll never have this problem and you won't talk. 0:13:44.960 --> 0:13:48.360 You'll fight perfect you always have something to fight about. 0:13:48.360 --> 0:13:52.880 I mean talk about anyway. 0:13:52.880 --> 0:13:53.120 I think. 0:13:53.120 --> 0:13:56.280 To sum this up, don't overthink I mean, we're being silly, 0:13:56.280 --> 0:13:57.560 but we are also very serious. 0:13:57.559 --> 0:13:59.160 Don't overthink it. We've all been in. 0:13:59.080 --> 0:14:01.760 That position where we have stressed about, Oh my god, 0:14:02.040 --> 0:14:03.840 what am I going to fill the silence with? What 0:14:03.840 --> 0:14:05.720 am I gonna say? What am I gonna do? 0:14:05.720 --> 0:14:07.080 Don't worry about it. Just enjoy it. 0:14:07.120 --> 0:14:09.560 And if you're going out and there are every date 0:14:09.640 --> 0:14:12.439 is super awkward silence. Maybe they're not the one for you, 0:14:13.080 --> 0:14:16.360 but don't overthink it. Yes, agree, couldn't have said it 0:14:16.400 --> 0:14:19.240 better myself. I hate that saying it's so arrogant. Couldn't 0:14:19.240 --> 0:14:20.360 have said it better myself. 0:14:21.000 --> 0:14:22.960 I've never thought that before. I think it is. It's like, 0:14:23.040 --> 0:14:24.920 why would I think that I could say it better? 0:14:25.320 --> 0:14:27.160 You know what? I couldn't say it as good as 0:14:27.200 --> 0:14:29.400 you did because you are great. Thank you. There you 0:14:29.440 --> 0:14:30.520 go question number two. 0:14:35.040 --> 0:14:37.120 Sometimes I can't even with you like I just can't. 0:14:37.320 --> 0:14:41.320 I just can't even, So I don't question number two. Hey, girls, 0:14:41.480 --> 0:14:46.240 question here obviously for as thanks for leaving up it 0:14:46.280 --> 0:14:48.200 In Britain, I recently went on a date with a 0:14:48.240 --> 0:14:49.440 guy I met from Hinge. 0:14:49.640 --> 0:14:50.920 The date went really well. 0:14:51.000 --> 0:14:53.840 We went out to dinner, conversation was great. He ended 0:14:53.880 --> 0:14:56.920 up coming back to my place mail she didn't write 0:14:56.960 --> 0:14:59.760 that bit I had chicken wow Wow. I message him 0:14:59.760 --> 0:15:01.520 the next day to thank him for a great night 0:15:01.560 --> 0:15:03.800 and suggested that we see each other again soon. His 0:15:03.960 --> 0:15:09.440 response was thank you. It was lovely full stop. I 0:15:09.440 --> 0:15:11.600 haven't responded as he didn't say he wanted to catch 0:15:11.680 --> 0:15:14.040 up again. Should I reply or just cut my losses? 0:15:14.480 --> 0:15:19.040 Is he keen or not help cut your losses? Yeah? 0:15:18.520 --> 0:15:22.240 I don't want to come in too hot, hard and harsh. 0:15:22.400 --> 0:15:24.800 But I from experience, I'm gonna say I don't think 0:15:24.800 --> 0:15:27.640 he's keen, because we all know that if we want 0:15:27.680 --> 0:15:30.000 to see someone, we will, And if he did, he 0:15:30.040 --> 0:15:32.520 would have said, thank you, it was lovely, Let's do 0:15:32.560 --> 0:15:35.040 it again soon when you're free. He would have tacked 0:15:35.080 --> 0:15:36.760 something on to the end of the sentence instead of 0:15:36.840 --> 0:15:39.200 just saying it was lovely. So I think the hard 0:15:39.760 --> 0:15:42.560 answer for this right now is that he probably did 0:15:42.560 --> 0:15:45.880 have a great time, no doubt, but he doesn't see 0:15:45.880 --> 0:15:48.920 anything in the future. Yeah, totally, Like it's it's shit, 0:15:49.080 --> 0:15:51.120 especially if you have gone on one day and you 0:15:51.120 --> 0:15:52.720 thought that you guys really hit it off, and then 0:15:52.960 --> 0:15:55.800 obviously you guys went home and it progressed to something 0:15:55.840 --> 0:15:58.080 a bit more. I guess there's like that little bit 0:15:58.120 --> 0:16:00.480 of hope that's tied up in like maybe I'm going 0:16:00.560 --> 0:16:02.520 to see him again. But I think you have already 0:16:02.680 --> 0:16:04.480 You've already put the ball in his court. You've already 0:16:04.520 --> 0:16:06.520 said hope that we get to see each other again. 0:16:06.560 --> 0:16:09.560 And his his message back is pretty short and sharp, 0:16:09.560 --> 0:16:12.360 and I think that that in and of itself is 0:16:12.720 --> 0:16:16.040 he's closed that door and maybe he will open it again, 0:16:16.360 --> 0:16:18.720 but it doesn't really feel like he's opening it to 0:16:18.880 --> 0:16:20.800 date and to get to know you. He may open 0:16:20.840 --> 0:16:24.080 it again just for a booty call. So be aware, 0:16:24.680 --> 0:16:28.040 stay woke, ladies. I often think, also, go with your 0:16:28.080 --> 0:16:31.960 gut and when this happens to me, When this happens 0:16:31.960 --> 0:16:34.680 to me, like every single weekend, when a guy goes 0:16:34.720 --> 0:16:37.720 to me, no, But if this happened to me, I 0:16:37.760 --> 0:16:40.320 would always put myself in a situation. So I think 0:16:40.360 --> 0:16:42.440