Speaker 1: This episode was recorded on Cameragle Land. Hi guys, and
Speaker 1: welcome back to another episode of Life Uncut.
Speaker 2: I'm Laura, I'm Brittany, and it is ask guncut. Where
Speaker 2: you're writing your questions, your problems, your predicaments. We do
Speaker 2: our best to answer them.
Speaker 1: You're deep, dark and burning questions. Hey, I woke up
Speaker 1: this morning.
Speaker 2: Now I live in Laura's house old house. Anyone you
Speaker 2: know where I'm going to go with this, don't you?
Speaker 3: No.
Speaker 4: I was just laughing because without context, people think that
Speaker 4: just just like live in my spare bedroom.
Speaker 2: People don't know that Laura locks me in her basement
Speaker 2: of a nighttime.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: I moved into Laura's old house. So Laura moved out
Speaker 2: of her apartment and I moved in. And Laura had
Speaker 2: this like infestation problem with husbands.
Speaker 1: They're back. They're fucking back.
Speaker 2: Oh my okay God, but they're back with Avengeance.
Speaker 1: No, they were there with Avengance.
Speaker 4: I will never forget the day that I was on
Speaker 4: the couch and I was like, oh, there's a huntsman
Speaker 4: on the blind And I got up and I pulled
Speaker 4: the blind back, and there was no joke about seventy
Speaker 4: fucking baby huntsmens that had just swarmed.
Speaker 1: Up the curtain with all these big ones.
Speaker 4: I put it on stories at the time because I
Speaker 4: was like, I need to burn this house down.
Speaker 1: We don't live here anymore. I'm homeless.
Speaker 2: Find me help, yeh, so help. It's escalating. So they've started.
Speaker 2: Maybe it's time for me to do another bomb or something.
Speaker 2: I don't know what you do.
Speaker 1: You vomit, how you move? Okay, I think it's time
Speaker 1: to move.
Speaker 2: You get a lighter okay. So they've been around Ride
Speaker 2: the last couple of weeks because, as you guys know,
Speaker 2: I spend all my time trying to talk bent off
Speaker 2: a ledge about Australia's not full of spiders and killer animals,
Speaker 2: and lately they are coming more frequently. Every day there
Speaker 2: seems to be one, and I'm like, fuck, this morning
Speaker 2: they took it to another level. This morning. I woke
Speaker 2: up and I took my eyemask off because I sleep
Speaker 2: with the Satin nine mask and the huntsman just like, hey, yes,
Speaker 2: there was a huntsman about six inches on my face.
Speaker 2: And it wasn't just one huntsman. It was eating another huntsman.
Speaker 2: It was eating it in my face and.
Speaker 1: I was like, cannibal.
Speaker 2: Well, I took for a minute. I looked at it,
Speaker 2: and I was like, really taking aback because it was
Speaker 2: so close. But you know, when I huntsman dies, they
Speaker 2: sort of shrivel.
Speaker 1: Up a bit. Maybe they're just kissing.
Speaker 2: So it was shriveled and hanging off the wall, and
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, it's died on its own in
Speaker 2: the nighttime. That was weird like because it was sort
Speaker 2: of stuck to the wall. And then it moved and
Speaker 2: then I saw that it was had another one in it.
Speaker 1: Well maybe they're having sex actually.
Speaker 2: But I, oh, my god, they're procreate.
Speaker 1: Do huntsmans do that?
Speaker 3: The huntsman's bone don't come here for science facts? Remember
Speaker 3: that time I had to cut us saying that a
Speaker 3: turtle wasn't a reptor.
Speaker 1: The should don't put that back in. You're a producer
Speaker 1: for a reason. Can I can I tell you it
Speaker 1: is one second?
Speaker 2: Hang on, yes, Laura, it's not immaculate conception.
Speaker 1: Huntsmands have to have sex.
Speaker 4: They don't just tak are they had the insects breed
Speaker 4: just before you do.
Speaker 1: Carry on.
Speaker 4: I have a confession to make, which is every so
Speaker 4: often I remember and it makes me.
Speaker 1: Feel really deeply stupid.
Speaker 4: So I think it was up until I was like
Speaker 4: in my late teens early twenties, when I realized that
Speaker 4: chickens had sex to.
Speaker 1: Fertilize the egg.
Speaker 4: I thought that a male chicken fertilized the egg after
Speaker 4: it was laid.
Speaker 1: What the hell? That's why you could eat some and
Speaker 1: not eat others. I thought that there were.
Speaker 4: Like some that you could eat and some that you
Speaker 4: couldn't eat, and some grew into chickens and others didn't.
Speaker 1: I think I was like twenty four.
Speaker 2: But hang on, you thought that a chicken didn't hump
Speaker 2: an egg? No, I get sure it would somehow inject
Speaker 2: into the eggs.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I didn't actually think that there was any chicken intercourse.
Speaker 2: You know, you get to choose what you share on
Speaker 2: this podcast, Like you just made a choice.
Speaker 1: That's a choice that you can't take that. I would
Speaker 1: like to do a call out. What is the dumbest
Speaker 1: thing that you thought to be true?
Speaker 4: And how old were you when you discovered it wasn't
Speaker 4: like that thing that you're like, Wow, I am ashamed
Speaker 4: of myself.
Speaker 1: Minds, the chicken and the egg. Yeah, what came first?
Speaker 2: I don't know if this is like the dumbest thing,
Speaker 2: but it's the first thing that came to mind.
Speaker 5: It wasn't that long ago that I thought the Earth
Speaker 5: was flat, but it was not that long ago that
Speaker 5: I thought the saying, you know, nip it in the butt,
Speaker 5: I thought it was nipped in the butt, like in
Speaker 5: your butt, like nip it in the butt.
Speaker 2: Like so when someone's talking away, you like nip it
Speaker 2: and then they walk quicker. It was shockingly recently that
Speaker 2: I discovered it was.
Speaker 4: Bud and it was even after that that I discovered
Speaker 4: it because you corrected me.
Speaker 1: Anyway, I have.
Speaker 3: An update on how spiders reproduced, just so everyone still curious.
Speaker 3: Spiders reproduced sexually by transferring sperm from a male to
Speaker 3: a female.
Speaker 1: You were right, Bridge shot.
Speaker 2: The female then stores the sperm in a pouch until
Speaker 2: she's ready to lay eggs around with emergency sperm, like
Speaker 2: that dress that you told us about. In the.
Speaker 4: Dress, Well, with all that really important stuff out of
Speaker 4: the way, we did say we're going to keep askun
Speaker 4: cuts snappy this year. So let's get into our vibes
Speaker 4: and unsubscribes. Prettany Hockley, what is your vibe for the week.
Speaker 2: I'm coming in so hot with my vibe this week.
Speaker 2: This is going to change your life. Blow your mind.
Speaker 2: It's called Necktech. It is a spontaneous purchase that I
Speaker 2: made last week at about two am in my bed.
Speaker 1: That's what I do.
Speaker 2: That's when I do all my online shopping. I got
Speaker 2: it from Amazon. It is a like an at home massager.
Speaker 2: Now Necktech is like the brand and they sell different
Speaker 2: kinds of massages, like legs or whatever. This is this
Speaker 2: contraption that like and Keisha has now tried it. It
Speaker 2: drapes over your neck and it plugs in, but it
Speaker 2: also has a car attachment, so if you want to
Speaker 2: plug it into your car while you're driving at massages
Speaker 2: your neck, that's great. I like that. It just sits
Speaker 2: over your neck and comes down to your hips and
Speaker 2: you can put your arms in it like a sling,
Speaker 2: so your arms are relaxed in there and the pressure
Speaker 2: is taken off and then it has like different speeds
Speaker 2: and temperature. It warms up as well. And I always
Speaker 2: think these things are like gimmicky. They are not not
Speaker 2: this one. This will blow your mind. It is like
Speaker 2: someone is genuinely massaging your neck and you can put
Speaker 2: it on any body part. You move it down your back,
Speaker 2: you can lay it flat, put your calves in it,
Speaker 2: put your feet in it. It's probably the best thing
Speaker 2: I have ever purchased in my life.
Speaker 3: I have to double down on this. When Britt first
Speaker 3: showed me it, I was like, oh, my days, Like,
Speaker 3: what's little? What's his little knickknack you got now that
Speaker 3: you're trying out? And then I tried it and then
Speaker 3: I went home.
Speaker 1: I couldn't get her out of my hand.
Speaker 2: I was like, we need to own it. What is
Speaker 2: it called again, necktech?
Speaker 4: We need to own a neck I'm so bad with
Speaker 4: things like this though, Like I bought that led mask
Speaker 4: and it's really good, and I wore it religiously for
Speaker 4: about three months and I was like, wow, my skin
Speaker 4: looks great. Guess I'll stop using it now, and then
Speaker 4: I've never used it again. I'm just so bad at
Speaker 4: anything that requires long term commitment.
Speaker 2: Well, in the neurodiverse community, we call that hyperfixation. Do
Speaker 2: you know what I do? And this is what makes
Speaker 2: it easy, right. It just sits on my lounge and
Speaker 2: it's plugged in, so when I sit down for anything,
Speaker 2: if I'm going to sit and eat on the lounge
Speaker 2: for I'm watching TV for a bit. If I'm on
Speaker 2: my laptop, you just put it on your neck next.
Speaker 2: It's so easy. This is not sponsored. I bought it also.
Speaker 2: I don't know if it's on sale still, but when
Speaker 2: I got it it was. It sells for I think
Speaker 2: one hundred and fifty dollars, and I think I got
Speaker 2: it for about one hundred. It had like a fifty
Speaker 2: dollars off sale Amazon. Neckteck will put the links.
Speaker 1: It just changed my life. I've never known you to
Speaker 1: be so excited about a vibe. So I'm here for you.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm happy for you.
Speaker 2: Yeah. Also because I have a you guys know all
Speaker 2: my neck pain and my migraines and stuff, so I
Speaker 2: was extra excited to find something that I've enjoyed and
Speaker 2: I thought was actually working.
Speaker 1: So yeah, I'm passionate today.
Speaker 3: Picture what is your vibe? Mine is a bit of
Speaker 3: a darker vibe. This week it is the new Binge doco.
Speaker 3: It's ninety minutes Diddy The Making of a bad Boy.
Speaker 3: So this was the one that was made by Peacock
Speaker 3: And there's been a lot and a lot of talk
Speaker 3: ironically on TikTok before it was banned, and then it
Speaker 3: came back about what was going to be revealed in
Speaker 3: this documentary. And obviously, since he was arrested last year
Speaker 3: on charges of I mean horrible things rackedtea sex trafficking,
Speaker 3: there's been a lot of podcasts where you recommended one before,
Speaker 3: so I just wanted like a ninety minute package that
Speaker 3: kind of summed it all up. And I knew some
Speaker 3: of the information that was in there, but I really
Speaker 3: really didn't know the extent of it. And so when
Speaker 3: the documentary started, I actually was initially questioning, ah, is
Speaker 3: this for me? Because they went through how when.
Speaker 2: Did he was three years old?
Speaker 3: Sean I should say his dad was murdered, and I
Speaker 3: was like, Oh, I don't want.
Speaker 2: The backstory to tell me why this guy became a monster,
Speaker 2: Like that's I'm not.
Speaker 1: I'm not here to sympathize.
Speaker 3: It very quickly became a revelation style documentary. So one
Speaker 3: of the parts that hadn't really been reported on as much,
Speaker 3: or at least I hadn't read about it, was how
Speaker 3: did he actually kind of got shot into stardom? And
Speaker 3: it was because he was the promoter of this event
Speaker 3: where they oversold tickets and nine people got killed in
Speaker 3: a crowd crush, and he was kind of the face
Speaker 3: of it.
Speaker 2: He took no responsibility for it.
Speaker 3: Usations that Didy's previous partner, Kim Porter, did not actually
Speaker 3: die of natural causes from pneumonia, that she potentially may
Speaker 3: have been murdered, and there was actually a list of
Speaker 3: people there are now suspicions of as to whether did
Speaker 3: he took them out because they had too much information
Speaker 3: on him and one of them who survived, I'll be sure.
Speaker 3: He is in the docuseries and it's the first time
Speaker 3: that he has ever spoken. There was a woman who
Speaker 3: appeared on camera and she accused Diddy of sexually assaulting
Speaker 3: her with TV remotes. There were allegations of him using
Speaker 3: employees to lure women into these sex parties. His mum
Speaker 3: was also accused of being involved in these Wild say
Speaker 3: it was very, very strange, and this came from people
Speaker 3: like his bodyguards, from people like the friends of his girlfriends,
Speaker 3: from you know, childhood friends. For the people in the
Speaker 3: documentary were very intimately involved in his life, and that's
Speaker 3: why I think it's quite interesting. It also led to
Speaker 3: a lot of questions about people like Tow and people
Speaker 3: like Biggie and whether or not did he have some
Speaker 3: type of involvement. There's been a lot of talk about
Speaker 3: that for decades, but this docu series painted a pretty
Speaker 3: clear picture of what he would have had to gain
Speaker 3: from that situation.
Speaker 2: And I watched this off the back of you recommending it, Kish,
Speaker 2: and I think because difference for a consumer is these
Speaker 2: allegations are not new. For years, everyone has speculated that
Speaker 2: he had a hand in murdering these people, so that's
Speaker 2: not new. But it's hearing from the people in his life.
Speaker 2: It's different when you hear someone that grew up with
Speaker 2: him question like, yeah, he definitely this is suspicious. He
Speaker 2: definitely could have done it. That's where it adds this
Speaker 2: extra layer of like, hang on a minute.
Speaker 3: I think also seeing how you know, we've heard about
Speaker 3: these sex parties and how many celebrities have been involved
Speaker 3: in his orbit, it was just really mind blowing that
Speaker 3: he's fifty five now and I truly cannot believe, especially
Speaker 3: after me too, that it's taken this long, and it
Speaker 3: kind of just goes to show how much power he had.
Speaker 3: We're obviously going to be hearing a lot more about
Speaker 3: Diddy coming up in May, because his trial starts on
Speaker 3: the fifth of May. So if you kind of want
Speaker 3: to get your head around what the reasons for that
Speaker 3: and all of the backstory to the media. It is
Speaker 3: on Binge and it is called Ditty The Making of a.
Speaker 1: Bad Boy Awesome.
Speaker 4: Yeah, Well, I also have a Binge doco for everybody
Speaker 4: to go and we was just killing it at the
Speaker 4: moment no one starts it.
Speaker 2: Wish it was. Would love to have an account run
Speaker 2: at as Binge.
Speaker 1: Okay, so this is a docu series.
Speaker 4: I've only watched the first episode and that's because I
Speaker 4: think it's a three or four part docu series, but
Speaker 4: they're dropping an episode each week, so it isn't all
Speaker 4: available yet.
Speaker 1: It is called An Update on Our Family and it
Speaker 1: is all about the micro Store for story. You might
Speaker 1: remember this story.
Speaker 4: It was very prolific in twenty twenty and it centers
Speaker 4: around a little boy that they adopted from China named Huxley.
Speaker 4: So this family, the Store For Family, had a massive
Speaker 4: YouTube channel. They were kind of of the high era
Speaker 4: of family logging, shared so much of their lives and
Speaker 4: one of the things that really really just catastrophically grew
Speaker 4: their engagement was that they went to China to adopt
Speaker 4: this little boy, Huxley and bring him into their family,
Speaker 4: and it kind of had a bit of that whole
Speaker 4: like white savior element to it.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 4: That happened in twenty sixteen. In twenty twenty, Huxley had
Speaker 4: been largely absent from the family content and the family vlogging,
Speaker 4: and a lot of people were starting to ask the
Speaker 4: question were where as Huxley, especially because he was the
Speaker 4: one that so many people were so interested in, And
Speaker 4: Micah and her husband got onto their social channels and
Speaker 4: did quite a vulnerable and emotional post about the fact
Speaker 4: that they had quote unquote rehomed Huxley to some other family.
Speaker 4: The reasons for this unfolded. It's because he had severe disabilities,
Speaker 4: disabilities that they weren't aware of during the adoption process,
Speaker 4: and they didn't feel that their family was fit for it. Now,
Speaker 4: absolutely justifiably, people were furious, especially not just furious about
Speaker 4: the fact that they had given him to a different family,
Speaker 4: but also the language that was used rehoming him, like
Speaker 4: he was an animal and not a child. That was yeah,
Speaker 4: and also the fact that like you know, you could
Speaker 4: biologically give birth to a child that has disabilities, and
Speaker 4: you may do and you adapt, but they obviously never
Speaker 4: saw him as being as important or integral as the
Speaker 4: rest of their children, or they would have adapted to
Speaker 4: be able to cater for a child who has disabilities.
Speaker 4: The reason why I wanted to recommend this is because
Speaker 4: it's something we've spoken about on the podcast before, this
Speaker 4: family vlogging and the ethics behind family vlogging, and in
Speaker 4: the docuseries they have other people experts in the field
Speaker 4: commenting on and talking about like the insidious nature of
Speaker 4: family vlogging and also how once that is the way
Speaker 4: in which you make your money, in order to keep
Speaker 4: expanding your business, you have to keep on having children.
Speaker 4: And so they talk about this adoption as being not
Speaker 4: out of love and not out of being an altruistic
Speaker 4: opening up your family to an additional person, but actually
Speaker 4: that it was a very like strategically financial you'll move
Speaker 4: and it also allowed them to gain more followers.
Speaker 1: Because it's like a business decision.
Speaker 4: Yeah, And when you think about it, they had seven
Speaker 4: hundred thousand subscribers at the time, the biggest family vlogging
Speaker 4: like I don't know the name of the family but
Speaker 4: the biggest one at that time in twenty twenty was
Speaker 4: one point two million, so they were really high up
Speaker 4: there when it comes to being one of the biggest
Speaker 4: family bloggers in the world. So you can kind of
Speaker 4: question the motivations as to whether this, you know, whether
Speaker 4: this was something that could have had a different outcome
Speaker 4: if the adoption had taken place, not because it was
Speaker 4: motivated by profits.
Speaker 3: This actually reminds me a little bit of the conversation
Speaker 3: that you guys had with Haven Shepherd. She's the paralympic
Speaker 3: swimmer who was adopted from Vietnam and she is a
Speaker 3: double mputee. Will link everything in the show notes. It's
Speaker 3: such a fun episode if you want to go back
Speaker 3: and listen to it. But it really provided a different
Speaker 3: perspective for me. She was initially adopted into a family
Speaker 3: in America from Vietnam, and that's not the family that
Speaker 3: she ended up becoming a part of, So the Shepherd
Speaker 3: family the second family. Then, I guess it just provided
Speaker 3: a different reason, maybe like a little bit of context
Speaker 3: about why that decision might not have actually been right awful. Yeah,
Speaker 3: as awful as like you initially hear that story about
Speaker 3: these family bloggers and you just go, how could you
Speaker 3: be so cruel?
Speaker 1: But I don't know.
Speaker 3: Perhaps there is another side to it that Haven could
Speaker 3: give you know, a bit.
Speaker 1: Of a perspective. I mean, it's a fascinating watch and
Speaker 1: the first episodes out on Pinch.
Speaker 2: Well, you guys can get a neck text, sit back
Speaker 2: and watch one of these binge dooggos. How about that?
Speaker 4: All right, let's get into answering your questions, all right,
Speaker 4: Question number one. We recently found out that two of
Speaker 4: my housemates are sleeping together, and I can't help but
Speaker 4: be a little bit pissed off at them. First, the
Speaker 4: guy he also had recently gone through a messy breakup
Speaker 4: in the first week of our lease, where his partner,
Speaker 4: one of my best friends, had to move out the house,
Speaker 4: is only just recovering from this. The girl he is
Speaker 4: now sleeping with, our other housemate has lived with us
Speaker 4: for two and a half months, also living with the
Speaker 4: guy's ex and being friends with her. It hard to
Speaker 4: be nice to them around the house, but have been
Speaker 4: told by my partner for the sake of the household
Speaker 4: to be pleasant.
Speaker 1: What should I do?
Speaker 2: I don't even understand what's happened. There's about five different
Speaker 2: people in here that we was sleeping together, broken up
Speaker 2: and moved out.
Speaker 1: Do you want me to like? Hear?
Speaker 3: So?
Speaker 4: Firstly, he moved in with his ex girlfriend. There must
Speaker 4: be like four or five people living in this house.
Speaker 4: He moved in with his ex girlfriend. In two months
Speaker 4: of them living there, they broke up, the ex girlfriend
Speaker 4: moved out.
Speaker 2: She's friends with the ex girlfriend. Right, So I'm not following.
Speaker 2: I'm actually not following.
Speaker 4: What do you mean he moved in with his ex
Speaker 4: They both shared a room. So him and his ex
Speaker 4: moved in as a happy couple into this house.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think that's throwing me. A couple moved in.
Speaker 2: They weren't ex's when they lived together. When you say
Speaker 2: he moved in with his ex girlfriend, it makes me
Speaker 2: think you've moved in with an ex girlfriend.
Speaker 4: Sorry, a happy couple moved into a house. Okay, great,
Speaker 4: they had an argument. Yeah, they broke up. The girl
Speaker 4: moved somewhere else, he stayed. There is another woman who
Speaker 4: lives in this house as well. She has not been
Speaker 4: living there for very long either. However, there was crossover
Speaker 4: between the couple and the other woman living in the house.
Speaker 4: A happy couple and yes, so the ex leaves and
Speaker 4: now the two of them are shagging.
Speaker 1: Yeah, got it.
Speaker 2: And now there's another person in the house, and your
Speaker 2: mum lives there too, But now there's another person in
Speaker 2: the house that's not happy.
Speaker 1: Well, no one's happy about it. Fucking this house.
Speaker 2: It's just a mo'sa move out, move out, Okay, got it.
Speaker 2: It's not your business. That's the way I feel. It's
Speaker 2: not your business that if they're boning in each other,
Speaker 2: you could be unhappy with it because you don't want
Speaker 2: Maybe it doesn't suit you to have people in the
Speaker 2: house that are banging, but you can't be like, yo,
Speaker 2: you guys can't be having sex together.
Speaker 1: They're paying rent.
Speaker 2: They can do what they want in the house.
Speaker 4: Yeah, so long as they're being very respectful of the
Speaker 4: space and them shagging each other is not like affecting
Speaker 4: your ability to live in the space, because it's like,
Speaker 4: you know, flowing out into the lounge ring for example,
Speaker 4: they're fucking on the couch. But if they're just living
Speaker 4: their best lives and they're keeping it kind of to themselves,
Speaker 4: well it.
Speaker 2: Sounds like it's Actually she's unhappy about it because she
Speaker 2: has a friendship with the exit moved out, So it's
Speaker 2: a weird form of loyalty that you're feeling towards your
Speaker 2: friend that moved out, but you don't have any ownership
Speaker 2: over that. Like I feel like you're like, hey, she
Speaker 2: was my friend. You guys were together. Now it's awkward
Speaker 2: that I have to see you with someone else. And
Speaker 2: it probably is really awkward that you're seeing them. But
Speaker 2: if exactly that, if they're not fucking on the lounge
Speaker 2: and they're not living condoms around, and they're not keeping
Speaker 2: you up at night with sex, and if they're just
Speaker 2: two housemates that are turning up and paying their rent
Speaker 2: but you know that they're hooking up, then you can't
Speaker 2: do or say anything. If you're that uncomfortable and unhappy,
Speaker 2: I think you need to move out. I don't think
Speaker 2: you can ask them to marry.
Speaker 4: And don't get me wrong, like I understand why this
Speaker 4: is an uncomfortable situation.
Speaker 1: I totally agree with you, Britt.
Speaker 4: I understand why you feel as though it's frustrating because
Speaker 4: this affects your ability to be in your house and
Speaker 4: not have anxiety and not be stressed about keeping secrets
Speaker 4: from your friend and X y Z. But it's not
Speaker 4: a situation that you have any control over, and like, unfortunately,
Speaker 4: your moral compass is not the thing that reigns supreme
Speaker 4: in this situation. I would potentially because if, for example,
Speaker 4: the ex is your very very close friend and she
Speaker 4: will be very angry at you if she finds out
Speaker 4: that they're sleeping with each other and you knew and
Speaker 4: you didn't tell her, I would probably have a conversation
Speaker 4: with the guy with the housemate or the girl as
Speaker 4: well and be like, Hey, I know that it's not
Speaker 4: Sarah's business or whatever her name is.
Speaker 1: I know it's not a business.
Speaker 4: I know that this situation is not necessarily ideal if
Speaker 4: it's going to cause dramas XYZ for her, But like,
Speaker 4: I refuse to be put in the middle of this,
Speaker 4: So if that's going to affect my friendship, I'm going
Speaker 4: to have that conversation with her or you guys can,
Speaker 4: because I don't think that you should be the person
Speaker 4: caught in the crossfire with this. But apart from that,
Speaker 4: if they want to have sex, they can have sex.
Speaker 1: The only thing have they ever banged a roommate? No,
Speaker 1: But I was banging a guy.
Speaker 4: So I had a really good friend and we were
Speaker 4: going to move in together. We were mates and we
Speaker 4: were looking at house inspections right like, we were genuinely
Speaker 4: good friends, and we'd gone to several house inspections, we'd
Speaker 4: put in an application for a house, and then we
Speaker 4: fucked and then we were like, fuck, we can't live
Speaker 4: together now. I was like, oh, we could still live together,
Speaker 4: and he was like, this is a I loved toxicity
Speaker 4: at the time, so I was like, wouldn't this be exciting?
Speaker 2: No? And not.
Speaker 4: Thank God, thank God the absolute Lord that he had
Speaker 4: more sense than I do.
Speaker 1: The same guy that.
Speaker 2: Ended up telling you he liked you while you're on
Speaker 2: the toilet and then you accidentally wrote back to him
Speaker 2: and that sex with him.
Speaker 1: Okay, yeah, Craise the Lord.
Speaker 4: The only thing I want to add to this is that, firstly,
Speaker 4: it can be a joy when your housemates hook up
Speaker 4: with each other, if they're like suited to each other
Speaker 4: and like you know that they're meant to be and
Speaker 4: it's like they're dating and life is great.
Speaker 1: That can be fun.
Speaker 4: It can be an absolute fucking hell whole punish if
Speaker 4: your housemates hook up together and it is just sex
Speaker 4: and then someone ends up being hurt, Like it's a
Speaker 4: recipe for disaster. They do say don't ship where you eat,
Speaker 4: probably don't have sex where you eat either, like both unhygienic, unnecessary.
Speaker 2: But it would do anything. That's what the same means.
Speaker 2: And thanks for breaking it down though, and it don't
Speaker 2: ship where you eat and also that don't have sex
Speaker 2: where you eat on thanks Laura.
Speaker 1: They don't actually mean literally shit where you eat. God,
Speaker 1: I've been doing it wrong this whole time.
Speaker 2: Nip it in the butt, but I'm being serious.
Speaker 4: It can cause lots of problems. So I don't think
Speaker 4: you're on your own with this. No, I just don't
Speaker 4: think you have any control over it. And if it's
Speaker 4: pissing you off that much, unfortunately you move out. You're
Speaker 4: only renting. So yeah, that's actually a shit thing to say,
Speaker 4: because when I say you're only renting, I don't know
Speaker 4: how much renting a house can be like your home.
Speaker 1: Don't there, I've done that.
Speaker 4: But also if your home is causing you anxiety, then it's.
Speaker 1: Time to look for a new home. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Question number two, Laura, I think this one requires your expertise.
Speaker 2: Finger up the bum. This was a hot topic out
Speaker 2: at dinner.
Speaker 1: With my girlfriend. I don't like it anymore.
Speaker 2: If your man sticks his finger up your butt during
Speaker 2: four play and sex, what does it mean? Is it
Speaker 2: for your pleasure or because he wants the same in return?
Speaker 2: Or could it be that he wants to try anal
Speaker 2: or is it just simply a finger in the butt
Speaker 2: that shouldn't be questioned.
Speaker 4: I think it means you have a finger in your ass.
Speaker 4: I'm not sure how deep you need to go. I
Speaker 4: think two knuckles, two knuckles.
Speaker 2: I don't know. That was just a joke. I don't know.
Speaker 1: Usually it's just to the first knuckle.
Speaker 2: No, I think it's due because we've got to bend
Speaker 2: for the g spot. Well, bend you have to bend,
Speaker 2: you need that joint.
Speaker 1: Wow.
Speaker 2: But then like that's you need to go in and
Speaker 2: all right?
Speaker 4: Look, I think if you're having sex and someone sticks
Speaker 4: their finger in your ass, it doesn't mean that they
Speaker 4: want you to stick your finger in their ass. I
Speaker 4: don't think it's as clear cut. I just don't could absolutely.
Speaker 4: If they're slowly nudging their asshole onto your finger, it
Speaker 4: probably means that they want you to do it, but.
Speaker 1: It's subtle.
Speaker 4: Fine, if they go over your hand and shove your
Speaker 4: finger in their ars, that they probably want you to
Speaker 4: do it.
Speaker 1: I think you should ask them. I think it's okay.
Speaker 4: If a guy has his finger in your buttthole, you
Speaker 4: can probably ask.
Speaker 1: Him if he would like it in return.
Speaker 2: I think you can just edge towards it and he'll
Speaker 2: wriggle out of the way. If he doesn't want it, yeah,
Speaker 2: he'll make it known either way. In all seriousness, this
Speaker 2: could mean many things.
Speaker 1: This is I am assuming he's.
Speaker 2: Doing this for your pleasure because the g spot is
Speaker 2: in the buttthole. A lot of people find a lot
Speaker 2: of pleasure from anal play, so he is probably thinking
Speaker 2: that this is something that could be great for you.
Speaker 2: You may like it, you may not like it, but
Speaker 2: absolutely you need to tell him if you like it
Speaker 2: or not. Also, it very well could be a sign,
Speaker 2: like we often say, you know, if you don't want
Speaker 2: to use your words, which some people don't, that you
Speaker 2: can show people what you want in sex by doing it,
Speaker 2: like we always say that, like lead them down the
Speaker 2: garden paths.
Speaker 1: So verbal is not the only way to communicate with things.
Speaker 2: And a lot of men would have trouble sort of
Speaker 2: verbalizing the fact that they want you to put a
Speaker 2: finger back in their butt and if they shouldn't, Like
Speaker 2: it should be really clear cut when you're dating someone
Speaker 2: what you want sexually, but we know that that is
Speaker 2: not the case. People women and men have a lot
Speaker 2: of trouble verbalizing what they want to say in especially
Speaker 2: in the moment, Like it's hard to be like, oh,
Speaker 2: push your fingermver like it's hard. So he could be
Speaker 2: doing it, so you do it. You could be doing
Speaker 2: it because he thinks you're gonna froth it. If you're not,
Speaker 2: you need to tell him. Otherwise he might just be
Speaker 2: giving it a whirl. He might not be knowing what
Speaker 2: he wants out of it.
Speaker 4: He's just like, oh, I think this is what people do,
Speaker 4: or he's had sex with someone else who really liked
Speaker 4: it and so he was like, this is.
Speaker 2: What she's like. I'm very big on just saying what
Speaker 2: you want in the bedroom, especially if you don't like it.
Speaker 2: But maybe you can start. I don't know how far
Speaker 2: you're dating, but I think you could say to him like,
Speaker 2: have you done butt played before? Like just ask him
Speaker 2: and he'll say straight away yes or nah.
Speaker 1: It's not for me.
Speaker 2: He'll just be like, nah, not for me, And then
Speaker 2: you know it is interesting don't get really knowing now
Speaker 2: you're nah.
Speaker 4: It is interesting though, because this is not a finger
Speaker 4: in the butt during sex. This is a finger in
Speaker 4: the butt during four play Like that's really specific, right, No,
Speaker 4: that's a four play thing. Yeah, but usually it's a
Speaker 4: finger in your bum during sex.
Speaker 2: No, it's definitely a four play thing as well.
Speaker 4: Well, I can't say that I've ever had someone going
Speaker 4: down on me and instead of fingering where they're supposed
Speaker 4: to do, they just stuck one finger in the bum.
Speaker 1: Like I don't think I've.
Speaker 4: Sorry of course, of course, guys, look it's been a while,
Speaker 4: it's been a while.
Speaker 2: Over there, Like pick I was like, there a phone call?
Speaker 1: What do you do over there with two fingers? Of course?
Speaker 1: I now I know where that comes from. Stinky. Yeah.
Speaker 4: One of my most famous quotes in this podcast was
Speaker 4: that everyone likes in the art and it's really haunted
Speaker 4: me over the years.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I love that this is the topic that you're
Speaker 2: having out at dinner though.
Speaker 1: I think that's great. But I yeah, no, I'm not
Speaker 1: gonna say it.
Speaker 2: Got some dignity now, well, no, I don't have any dignity,
Speaker 2: but this one's not my storytell so I just thought,
Speaker 2: sometimes we've got to stop ourselves in our tracks.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, yeah, did.
Speaker 2: We usual boundaries? No?
Speaker 4: Usually I just edit those boundaries out because in like
Speaker 4: usually it happens. And then I listened to the episode
Speaker 4: before it goes to air, and I'm like, oh, we
Speaker 4: shouldn't have said that.
Speaker 1: Take that out.
Speaker 2: Sometimes we all say stuff stories in the record and
Speaker 2: we go home that night, and then one of us
Speaker 2: will get a text to the other one that's like, hey,
Speaker 2: you know that thing I said.
Speaker 1: Just got that.
Speaker 2: Like, we go home and think about what we've done.
Speaker 4: It's like when you wake up after having a really
Speaker 4: drunk night and you have regrets about everything. We do that,
Speaker 4: but in podcast form, where we tell everything, put it
Speaker 4: all out on the table, then go home and go actually,
Speaker 4: can we edit that down?
Speaker 2: I actually don't know if any of us have it
Speaker 2: about ourselves, though.
Speaker 3: I think we only ever have it if we're telling
Speaker 3: a story that involves someone else, because.
Speaker 2: We're like, oh, actually, maybe that.
Speaker 3: To be on the nose. I don't think any of
Speaker 3: us have ever self sensed properly. Oh, I've self sensitive,
Speaker 3: self sense, I self pleasure.
Speaker 4: All right, Okay, I know that we've been real hard
Speaker 4: on the cat contents and coming back, but I'm here
Speaker 4: for it, so we're going to go for gold. I
Speaker 4: live in a shared house with two other girls. One
Speaker 4: of the girls has adopted two cats that now live
Speaker 4: with us. The cats are simply damaging the property in
Speaker 4: the house that belongs to me, like countless house plants, scratching,
Speaker 4: making pulls in the couch. Am I within my right
Speaker 4: to ask for financial reimbursement for damages to my property
Speaker 4: or asking her to replace these items? She doesn't really
Speaker 4: apologize for the damage or the destruction, slash, the death
Speaker 4: of my house plants, and instead blames me.
Speaker 1: How should I approach this? And is it fair to
Speaker 1: ask her to pay for the things that her cat
Speaker 1: has damaged?
Speaker 2: I mentioned this recently, so last week we were talking
Speaker 2: about cats as well. Believe it or not, there was
Speaker 2: another housemate cat thing where I'm hot for cats now, Guys,
Speaker 2: the girlfriend didn't like her boyfriend's cat. They didn't bond,
Speaker 2: they weren't about it. And I made the same comment
Speaker 2: then that I'm going to make now, And it's what
Speaker 2: she has said. The reason I've always said I don't
Speaker 2: get cats is because they do damage so much stuff,
Speaker 2: Like I do dogs though, No, But I know dogs
Speaker 2: can in terms of like when they're puppies, they chew
Speaker 2: and stuff, but generally speaking they grow out of it
Speaker 2: if they're not bored. But cats are little bitches that
Speaker 2: want to claw things like their entire life, and let
Speaker 2: me tell you, their life is like twenty years Britt.
Speaker 4: I do want to remind you when we did the
Speaker 4: shoot for Life uncut for jumpers brit brought.
Speaker 1: We did it at my house.
Speaker 4: We just when I say shoes, when I say shoot,
Speaker 4: we put jumpers on and we stood in front of
Speaker 4: a wall in my home. So we did the shoot
Speaker 4: the really big Yeah, that was that high end, that
Speaker 4: iron shoot that we did in my apartment. At the
Speaker 4: time you brought Delilah. Actually I was in a house
Speaker 4: and I had a little garden at the back. You
Speaker 4: brought Delilah, and Delilah was being such a little menace
Speaker 4: at the time.
Speaker 2: Puppy.
Speaker 1: She was like, one, yep, that's a puppy.
Speaker 4: So you put her outside in the backyard and we
Speaker 4: could hear a barking and we could hear like scratching
Speaker 4: and stuff.
Speaker 1: Anyway, we'd take the photos.
Speaker 4: Brick goes on her merry way Four days later, I
Speaker 4: go outside to hang the washing up and I closed
Speaker 4: the wooden sliding door and Delilah has absolutely fucked the door.
Speaker 4: She's been pouring at it to try and get inside,
Speaker 4: like scratch scratch, and she's ripped all the paint down
Speaker 4: the rental of the door.
Speaker 1: And I was like, I hope they never noticed that.
Speaker 4: I hope I have a really incompetent house like rental
Speaker 4: inspector whatever they called inspector.
Speaker 1: I've pleased the fifth She had a tablemin issues.
Speaker 4: I've got a quote and that was seven hundred dollars
Speaker 4: to get a fixed Please pay me.
Speaker 1: No, it's fine, it wasn't it. Nah, they never noticed.
Speaker 1: He's still playing my guess. I am.
Speaker 4: Origin Energy is fucking coming for me because I've not
Speaker 4: paid my bills.
Speaker 1: So I paid the last bill for Origin. Yeah, you
Speaker 1: sent it to me. That's great.
Speaker 2: So now you have to manage my gas bills.
Speaker 1: You send me the bill and I have to pay it.
Speaker 4: For context on this, as you guys now know, we've
Speaker 4: established on this episode, I used to live in BRIT's house.
Speaker 4: I never disconnected the gas and I never connected gas, and.
Speaker 1: I am still paying for Bridge gas four years on.
Speaker 1: So we're real close.
Speaker 2: You're such an exaggerator. It's been like three it's three years.
Speaker 1: Yeah, okay, it's cats damaging property. Let's focus.
Speaker 2: What I was saying is get back to my point. Yes,
Speaker 2: cats can damage stuff if this is your property and
Speaker 2: when you moved in there were no cats, Like if
Speaker 2: she moved in as just a catless housemate and now
Speaker 2: she has acquired two cats and the cats are damaging
Speaker 2: the property, I absolutely think you can ask it for
Speaker 2: pat cash for sure, if she's damaging your property lounges, furniture,
Speaker 2: or some might call it cat cash.
Speaker 1: Sorry, it's not a thing. That's not pretty good. It's
Speaker 1: definitely wasn't It's definitely not a thing.
Speaker 2: So yeah, it's always an awkward conversation for sure, like, hey,
Speaker 2: can you buy me a new lounge because you can't
Speaker 2: put a hole in it, Especially when she's like she
Speaker 2: probably thinks, oh, it's just one scratch here, it's not
Speaker 2: a big deal. But to you, it's your property that
Speaker 2: you've paid money for, you've looked after. I don't know
Speaker 2: if it gets a little bit different if you agreed
Speaker 2: to move in with said animal, like if you already
Speaker 2: if the animals already sort of on the least, do
Speaker 2: you know what I mean? Like that's a bit different.
Speaker 2: But if you've moved in with her as a petless person,
Speaker 2: she's got the pets and they're ruining everything, then yeah,
Speaker 2: you have to say, like, guys, you're gonna have to
Speaker 2: pay me for this, like this is my shit.
Speaker 4: Yeah, there's a couple of tricky ones here. So like
Speaker 4: the death of house plants. The death of the plants
Speaker 4: is really annoying because like, I'm sure the plant is
Speaker 4: not dead. I'm sure it is just damaged, right, Like
Speaker 4: it's ripped the bottom leaves, it's bitten leaves off it,
Speaker 4: and it now no longer looks esthetically pleasing, which is annoying.
Speaker 4: Is there a way that you can move them to
Speaker 4: a different area of the house where the cats can't
Speaker 4: reach them, Like, have you exhausted all of those options?
Speaker 4: Because if you have exhausted all those options and then
Speaker 4: it's still happening, rather than just like leaving it there
Speaker 4: and then being pissed off that the cat's doing it,
Speaker 4: like if you're not mitigating the issues.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but you're not gonna lift a giant fiddle up
Speaker 2: on the kitchen bench, like there are plans that you
Speaker 2: know you can't move.
Speaker 4: One hundred percent, and I agree with that, but they're
Speaker 4: probably are some that you can if it's a feasible option.
Speaker 4: I think the thing is is try and do all
Speaker 4: the things that are within your control first before you
Speaker 4: bring this up as a big issue. The one thing
Speaker 4: that I do think is a massive problem is the
Speaker 4: scratching of furniture and the couch. I even know from
Speaker 4: Raspberry like cats fuck couches.
Speaker 1: They just do.
Speaker 4: Because they treat them like they're scratching posts. Luckily, actually,
Speaker 4: this is a recommendation for anyone who has a cat.
Speaker 4: I have the Koala couch, like the Koala sofa that
Speaker 4: has the removable covers. It's not one that you can
Speaker 4: sleep on. It's not the fold out. It's just like
Speaker 4: their big couch. The type of fabric that it is.
Speaker 4: It is so good at hiding cat clawing, so you
Speaker 4: cannot tell that she has clawed the couch, but she has.
Speaker 4: She's really given it a fucking good nudge. If I
Speaker 4: was in this situation it was a rental and the
Speaker 4: cat was not mine, I absol it would be pissed
Speaker 4: and I would be having a sit down conversation with
Speaker 4: my housemates saying, hey, I love you. I don't actually
Speaker 4: have an issue with the cats, but this is the situation,
Speaker 4: and if my furniture is going to get ruined, I
Speaker 4: do expect there to be financial compensation for that.
Speaker 1: This is the cost of the couch.
Speaker 4: And when we move out, I'm not going to take
Speaker 4: a damaged couch with me to another house. I'm going
Speaker 4: to have to buy a new couch. So I don't
Speaker 4: think she has to pay for the entire value of
Speaker 4: the couch, because obviously items are furniture depreciate, et cetera,
Speaker 4: et cetera. But there should be some contribution to what's
Speaker 4: been damaged, and you guys mutually have to come to
Speaker 4: a conclusion on what that looks like. And if that
Speaker 4: is met with a lot of resistance and met as
Speaker 4: though she doesn't care, then she doesn't care about your beloggings.
Speaker 4: She doesn't care about your happiness and satisfaction within your
Speaker 4: own home, And so I would be questioning, okay, do
Speaker 4: I want to I know that the answer shouldn't always
Speaker 4: be do I want to live here? But when you're
Speaker 4: renting and you have to live so closely with other people.
Speaker 4: You really need to find a space where you come
Speaker 4: home and you feel really comfortable and you're happy. And
Speaker 4: if this is going to affect your ability to do
Speaker 4: that living with two cats you don't want to live with,
Speaker 4: then I would say it might come to a point
Speaker 4: where it's something that you might have to explore.
Speaker 1: Not just the financial side.
Speaker 2: I also just one more potential solution for you. Want
Speaker 2: to ask if the owner of the cats has provided
Speaker 2: the right things to try and make them not scratch
Speaker 2: the couch totally scratch. Do you have scratching posts?
Speaker 3: Are they playing with the cat to kind of, you know,
Speaker 3: give it some entertainment?
Speaker 2: But are they doing the things that you can do?
Speaker 2: You know, Like if we were to make this about
Speaker 2: a dog, it would be like are they walking the dog?
Speaker 3: Are they giving it stimulation? Are they trying to do something?
Speaker 3: Is the cat scratching because it's got nothing else to do?
Speaker 3: It's the question I'm asking, So, like, has your housemate
Speaker 3: done what they can do to rectify the situation?
Speaker 4: Assholes like that We've got a scratching post and Raspberry
Speaker 4: looks at it and she's like, fuck, what I want
Speaker 4: to use that? When I can look at that lovely couch. Yeah,
Speaker 4: they just I can go and sit on and scratch.
Speaker 1: Don't call them that.
Speaker 2: You just caught them an asshole, but I'm allowed to.
Speaker 1: She's mine, say yours.
Speaker 2: I just said cats are and I'm not.
Speaker 1: I like, yeah, I did too.
Speaker 2: I genuinely am not against cats.
Speaker 1: I do think they're beautiful. I just don't understand them.
Speaker 4: She was in bed with me last night. I rolled
Speaker 4: over on top of her when she was when I
Speaker 4: was a sweet and I just had to go.
Speaker 1: But she didn't move. She just kind of like copped
Speaker 1: it and then redusted herself.
Speaker 2: Does she sleep there with mats let you are?
Speaker 1: Actually nah? Not really.
Speaker 4: She sleeps on Lola's bed, so she goes wherever Lola goes.
Speaker 4: So when Lola comes into my bed, she follows Lola
Speaker 4: and comes into my bed with Lola.
Speaker 2: I've had enough of cats.
Speaker 4: Next question, and next week on the ass Gun Cut,
Speaker 4: we're going to talk about what the bread the best breeder.
Speaker 2: I'm actually going to put a cat ban on next week.
Speaker 4: At least just one someone has asked what my favorite
Speaker 4: cat food is, so we're going to talk about that
Speaker 4: next week.
Speaker 2: Okay, last question, is it okay for your boyfriend of
Speaker 2: three years to not want to talk about his ex'es.
Speaker 2: I feel like, for me, it's not a big deal.
Speaker 2: Your past is your past, which is something you should
Speaker 2: be able to share with the love of your life.
Speaker 2: It's part of who you are and how you've grown.
Speaker 2: Why should it matter if you have moved on? Why
Speaker 2: can't or doesn't he want to talk about his past?
Speaker 2: He's thirty two and I am twenty eight. Any suggestions, thoughts,
Speaker 2: all feelings.
Speaker 4: I agree with your partner, like, I don't think it's
Speaker 4: necessary if they don't want to, but I not about it,
Speaker 4: Like I want to know everything.
Speaker 2: Their Instagram handle.
Speaker 1: I want to know.
Speaker 4: I want to know every detail. I want to know
Speaker 4: why didn't work out? I want to know, like how
Speaker 4: long were you together? Like what was great about the relationship?
Speaker 4: What was terrible about the relationship?
Speaker 2: Did you do good? So I can do it better?
Speaker 1: Literally, I just I want to know all of those details.
Speaker 2: Or A morphs into the person they're like, why are
Speaker 2: you hairborn?
Speaker 1: And you've got a new job.
Speaker 2: I'm a DJ now and everyone's like, what are you doing?
Speaker 1: Laura? I'm yeah, Matt Sex is a DJ.
Speaker 4: Yeah, she's really hot too. She's nice, her friends with
Speaker 4: her fucking Jordan's X was the number one golfer in
Speaker 4: the world. How do you compete with that?
Speaker 2: That's why you don't want.
Speaker 1: To know it starts playing God.
Speaker 4: Did I was like, hey, bab I picked up on
Speaker 4: just born, so I like to know this information. It
Speaker 4: doesn't affect me like it doesn't you know, it doesn't
Speaker 4: upset me or anything. I just think it's really interesting
Speaker 4: and it makes me feel weirdly, it kind of makes
Speaker 4: me feel more secure in the relationship because it's like, oh,
Speaker 4: you've chosen to share this with me, and we kind
Speaker 4: of know everything about each other.
Speaker 1: But also I've been with guys who have.
Speaker 4: Been like, hey, I don't want to know about you Rexes,
Speaker 4: And obviously I'm a talker and I like to share
Speaker 4: things as well.
Speaker 1: So sometimes I feel a little bit like, oh, but
Speaker 1: I want to tell you, and they're like, but I
Speaker 1: don't want to know it.
Speaker 2: I'm like, oh, but I that's me too, damn it.
Speaker 1: I don't want to keep it inside.
Speaker 2: In my experience, which is vast, more men than women
Speaker 2: feel that. I feel like more men don't really want
Speaker 2: to know the details about your past, and women generally speaking,
Speaker 2: want to know more. I want to know everything, but
Speaker 2: in a weird way, I want to know, but I
Speaker 2: don't want to see them. So I was joking, I
Speaker 2: don't like to look at Instagram handles exes that I
Speaker 2: don't even know what they look like, but I know
Speaker 2: about them. I wouldn't know them if they walked in
Speaker 2: front of me, but I know why they broke up
Speaker 2: and how long they were together, and what they were
Speaker 2: like in the relationship and what went wrong. And I
Speaker 2: love to know all that. And I also want to
Speaker 2: tell that like you said, Laura, and I've been really
Speaker 2: upset before. Like Ben, for example, doesn't want to know
Speaker 2: about my past. He's like, I know you have it,
Speaker 2: but I don't. I'm here now and where he now,
Speaker 2: and let's talk about now in the future. But for me,
Speaker 2: the past is really important because I really believe that
Speaker 2: I'm a very particular person today because of my past.
Speaker 4: The good thing is is that even though Ben might
Speaker 4: not want to talk about it, you talk about it
Speaker 4: so often.
Speaker 2: But I remember getting really upset once saying like it
Speaker 2: bothers me that you don't care, and I was like,
Speaker 2: maybe you can pretend to care.
Speaker 4: Jordan was the same, though Jordan didn't want to know anything.
Speaker 4: Jordan was worse. Jordan was worse.
Speaker 2: Jordan didn't want to know. I didn't even exist. I
Speaker 2: was born the day that I met Jordan. Like in
Speaker 2: Jordan's eyes, he there was no history whatsoever.
Speaker 1: It's weird to me.
Speaker 2: I respect it when when someone is like, adamantly like,
Speaker 2: please don't tell me, I respect it. But Ben's not
Speaker 2: quite like that. He's just like, I don't care about it.
Speaker 2: But I'm like, I want you to know me better.
Speaker 2: To know me better is to know like what I've
Speaker 2: been through all my past. So I absolutely get that
Speaker 2: it would bother me if my partner wouldn't tell me
Speaker 2: anything about them. I think it's a really fine balancing
Speaker 2: act between respecting your partner's wishes because if they adamantly
Speaker 2: say like, it will bother me knowing about it, and
Speaker 2: I genuinely don't want to think about you being with
Speaker 2: someone else because some people it gets stuck in their head,
Speaker 2: and whether it's right or wrong, when something gets stuck
Speaker 2: in some people's head, they can't get out of it.
Speaker 2: And you don't want to be putting that thought in
Speaker 2: someone's head. If they've told you if they've said, like,
Speaker 2: I don't want that to be something I think about,
Speaker 2: and you push that on them and then it's all
Speaker 2: they think about and it becomes an issue.
Speaker 3: Yeah.
Speaker 1: I think there's levels to this, though.
Speaker 4: Firstly, I think it depends on has he spoken about
Speaker 4: bits and pieces in the past and told you, because
Speaker 4: there's a difference between talking about it frequently, rehashing shit
Speaker 4: he's already told you and just giving you the information
Speaker 4: in one go, you know, Like, I think that sometimes
Speaker 4: that line can be a little bit blurred, So i'd
Speaker 4: ask the question, do you already know parts about his past?
Speaker 4: And has he spoken about it to a level that
Speaker 4: he was like, cool, You've got all the information you need.
Speaker 4: I don't want to talk about my ex girlfriend because
Speaker 4: it's not something I think about every day. I don't
Speaker 4: think that it is an indicator of a person holding
Speaker 4: onto their past or holding onto their ex just because
Speaker 4: they don't want to talk about it. I think sometimes
Speaker 4: it is an indicator of emotional maturity. Some people who
Speaker 4: aren't able to compartmentalize or think, well, if I talk
Speaker 4: about this, maybe they're going to think I still like her,
Speaker 4: and so they almost like repel in the opposite direction.
Speaker 4: I don't necessarily think it is as big a deal. However,
Speaker 4: I prefer it when I'm in relationships with people who
Speaker 4: feel comfortable enough and are able enough to talk about
Speaker 4: their past and can do it in a way that's
Speaker 4: not talking about it all the time by any means.
Speaker 2: But if a.
Speaker 4: Question comes up, they're not shutting me down or the
Speaker 4: conversation down, because it makes you feel invalidated. When you
Speaker 4: ask a question and the answer is I don't want
Speaker 4: to talk about that.
Speaker 1: That's where the disparity happens.
Speaker 4: And that's when people feel as though, oh, you're shutting
Speaker 4: me out from this part of your life.
Speaker 1: Well that makes it worse.
Speaker 2: When someone's like it, don't talk about it, You're like why,
Speaker 2: why exactly what happened? It makes you want it more?
Speaker 1: Yeah, I agree.
Speaker 4: And it also, yeah, it makes you I think they're
Speaker 4: keeping secrets from you, like, well, what is it about
Speaker 4: that relationship that you couldn't tell me about? So I
Speaker 4: actually think it works against them when they think they're
Speaker 4: doing it because they're like, well, I don't want to
Speaker 4: talk about it because it's not important to me. It's like, well,
Speaker 4: the fact that you won't talk about it makes me
Speaker 4: think it is important to you.
Speaker 2: Well, you've said why can't or doesn't he want to
Speaker 2: talk about it. I don't think it's that left field.
Speaker 2: I think it's quite normal for people to feel like
Speaker 2: they don't want to relive their past. Maybe it's traumatic
Speaker 2: and they don't literally want to relive it. Maybe they
Speaker 2: spend a lot of time and energy moving on from something.
Speaker 2: Maybe they just give no fucks, like some people just
Speaker 2: don't care. As long as if it's really important to you,
Speaker 2: all you have to do is communicate that and you
Speaker 2: can work out a level that you can talk about on.
Speaker 2: Maybe you don't have to give specific details, maybe you
Speaker 2: don't need to see their pictures and Instagram handles. My
Speaker 2: advice is don't go to that level. My advice is
Speaker 2: find out what you need to know in a conversation,
Speaker 2: but don't go to the point of stalking their pictures
Speaker 2: and instagrams and because that's irrelevant and that's only going
Speaker 2: to add damage to your relationship. We've spoken about that
Speaker 2: in the past. It's unnecessary to go to that level
Speaker 2: to talk someone's past. It's not going to bring anything
Speaker 2: positive to the relationship. But I think if you're trying
Speaker 2: to just figure out more.
Speaker 1: We've been there, don't shame them.
Speaker 2: No, But if you're trying to figure out more about
Speaker 2: who someone is and get closer to them in the relationship,
Speaker 2: that happens via conversation.
Speaker 1: So yeah, yeah, I totally agree. Well, guys, that is
Speaker 1: it from us today on Ask Uncut. If you have
Speaker 1: a question for us to answer next week, slide on
Speaker 1: into the DMS, particularly if there's anything about cats, I'm
Speaker 1: here for it. That's joke. I think the cat's are
Speaker 1: banned now.
Speaker 4: Can slide on into the DMS on our socials at
Speaker 4: Life Uncut podcasts follow us. There also our YouTube channel TikTok.
Speaker 4: We've got all the things. He the YouTube. It's so
Speaker 4: good to watch it.
Speaker 2: There's long episodes, there's short episodes like we put all
Speaker 2: our like our little tidbits in there. It's cool and
Speaker 2: it gives a different vibe to watch it and what
Speaker 2: a lot of people have been doing.
Speaker 4: You can see Brittany talking for a continuous stream with
Speaker 4: her arms in her air and her armpits out for
Speaker 4: absolutely no reason.
Speaker 3: A little bit of pop calling kettle black old armpit
Speaker 3: gal over here.
Speaker 4: Everyone likes a bit of armpit poln Okay, Well, what
Speaker 4: I was going to say is before you shamed me
Speaker 4: for the way I.
Speaker 1: Talk, no shamed drum pits, not the way you talk.
Speaker 2: A lot of what people are doing now with ask
Speaker 2: Gun cuts, which I think is really cool, is they're
Speaker 2: putting the ask gun cut on YouTube when they're at home.
Speaker 2: We play it the questions a lot. People are cooked,
Speaker 2: like you know, couples are cooking dinner together, the question
Speaker 2: comes up, they pause it, then they talk about the
Speaker 2: question together and like the answers and what they'd say.
Speaker 2: Then they play it, and I think that's really cool.
Speaker 2: I think it's a really cool way to like listen
Speaker 2: to the episode, watch us and have those conversations with
Speaker 2: your friends or housemaids or partners at home. Maybe you
Speaker 2: should play this if you're the girl.
Speaker 4: That lives in Cat made a Cat actually either of
Speaker 4: them or for all of them.
Speaker 1: It put on surround sound.
Speaker 3: Actually, speaking of this, we got a message this morning
Speaker 3: from someone who had listened to last week's Ask Gun
Speaker 3: cut with the question about the girl who said, I've
Speaker 3: realized that my hinge match I've slept with his younger brother.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 3: So she sent her fiance a message and it said
Speaker 3: this collecting data would you date someone that your brother
Speaker 3: had previously slept with? And her fiance has replied no,
Speaker 3: full stop, why are you asking me? Then there's another message.
Speaker 3: I don't know how much time has gone in between these,
Speaker 3: and it says, is everything okay? Did you sleep with
Speaker 3: my brother? She responded, oh, yes, yes, yes, sorry podcast question.
Speaker 3: I promise I haven't slept with And I'm assuming that
Speaker 3: the name is her fiance's brother.
Speaker 2: So funny. I love it. That's the data collection. Like,
Speaker 2: you need context if you want to message your boyfriend
Speaker 2: and say, hey, would you still date someone that'll slump
Speaker 2: into your Yeah, you need to give context.
Speaker 4: I think it's fine, no context, just let them wiggle
Speaker 4: around for a bit.
Speaker 1: What and think their brother fucked you?
Speaker 2: No, don't take Laura's advice.
Speaker 1: All right, guys, Well that is it from us. You know,
Speaker 1: the drill to
Speaker 2: You Mum, tay dad, tey dog ta friends and share
Speaker 2: the love because we love love