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Speaker 1: Get a I'm Laala Berry, nutritionist, author, actor, TV presenter,

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Speaker 1: and professional oversharer. This podcast is all about celebrating failure

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Speaker 1: because I believe it's a chance for us to learn,

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Speaker 1: grow and face our blind spots. Each week, I'll interview

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Speaker 1: a different guest about their highs as well as they're lows,

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Speaker 1: all in a bid to inspire us to fearlessly fail. Hello,

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Speaker 1: Welcome to the Potter Rooney. Some guests are so good

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Speaker 1: that I do everything in my power to get them

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Speaker 1: back on the pod, and today is one of those guests.

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Speaker 1: It is the incredible Charlie Goldsmith, who is an energy

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Speaker 1: healer and a dear friend of mine. So he's been

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Speaker 1: on the pod before episode one hundred and eighty one

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Speaker 1: if you want to go back and listen to that episode.

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Speaker 1: In that air, we talked more about his health values

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Speaker 1: and why he's so passionate about health and wellness. Quite

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Speaker 1: generally we go into diets and whatnot, but you can

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Speaker 1: tell it's something that he just absolutely loves. And in

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Speaker 1: this episode we really deep dive his energy healing and

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Speaker 1: I was really lucky because I've got to see him

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Speaker 1: in real life in the flesh. Do an energy healing

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Speaker 1: before we had this chat, so I asked all about it,

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Speaker 1: like what he's feeling, what's going on in his body,

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Speaker 1: what he's seeing when he's doing the energy healing. We

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Speaker 1: also chat about being a parent and co parenting, and

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Speaker 1: he's very inspiring. He's extremely honest, so what you hear

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Speaker 1: is one hundred percent what you get. I've put loads

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Speaker 1: of links about Charlie in the show notes, so he

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Speaker 1: does a lot of free online energy healing. I've popped

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Speaker 1: a link to his website so you can sign up there.

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Speaker 1: I've popped links to his Facebook, Insta, TikTok, you name

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Speaker 1: it the work. So I hope you love this chat.

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Speaker 1: Charlie is incredible. He's a very special human being. He

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Speaker 1: is very generous, very kind, and very honest. I hope

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Speaker 1: you love this chat. Big love, Charlie, thank you so

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Speaker 1: much for doing this again. You're wonderful. Welcome back to

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Speaker 1: the pod, Charlie Goldsmith. It's nice to have you back.

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Speaker 2: Thank you for having me laula mate.

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Speaker 1: It is like talking to you is like catching up

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Speaker 1: with a mate because I have been lucky enough to

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Speaker 1: have you as a mate for nearly twenty years.

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Speaker 2: Mm hmm, yeah, long.

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Speaker 1: I'm probably aging both of us as I say that.

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Speaker 2: But that's all right. I like my age.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I don't mind mine. I but sometimes I get

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Speaker 1: funny about it.

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Speaker 2: You do.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, you're younger than me, so I feel like you

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Speaker 3: get used to it.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that makes sense, you have to. Well, yeah, what's

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Speaker 1: the other option.

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Speaker 3: No, someone did call me a middle aged man not

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Speaker 3: that long ago, and that was I was like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 3: it's a middle aged based on the average age people die.

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Speaker 2: I'm in the middle. So do you know what though?

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Speaker 1: There's a famous quote I think it's by George Cliney

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Speaker 1: and somebody said something about how good he looks for

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Speaker 1: his age, and he's like, well, what's the alternative? I'm dead,

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Speaker 1: you know what I mean. It's like I'm wrapped to

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Speaker 1: be the age ippe. You know how lucky that I'm

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Speaker 1: even the age that I am? All right, I really

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Speaker 1: want to talk about your healing because since we last recorded,

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Speaker 1: I was lucky enough to see you heal in real life,

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Speaker 1: which I hadn't done for many, many years. So let's

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Speaker 1: just start with for people that if they haven't heard

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Speaker 1: the first episode, can you give me a little taste

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Speaker 1: of when you were eighteen years old and you started

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Speaker 1: to realize that you had this gift.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so I will condense it a little bit because

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Speaker 3: it's you know, it's a whole star. But the first

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Speaker 3: thing that's important is that I never had heard of

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Speaker 3: people doing what I do before I discovered I could

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Speaker 3: do it. So it was quite shocking to me when

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Speaker 3: I found out that this thing exists that I had

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Speaker 3: no idea existed. The first thing that happened to me

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Speaker 3: was I was on a health retreat doing work experience,

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Speaker 3: and I woke up one day and I started feeling

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Speaker 3: energy between my hands, which feels a lot like holding

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Speaker 3: two quite strong magnets. And I didn't know at the

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Speaker 3: time that's a phenomena that people can achieve, you know,

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Speaker 3: through tai chi or either have healing practices, but I

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Speaker 3: never knew that. So it was it was so tangible,

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Speaker 3: and it was a genuine shock to my system that

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Speaker 3: I could feel this thing, you know, that I couldn't see.

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Speaker 3: And then in the same moment as I I started

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Speaker 3: feeling it, someone someone asked me what was wrong with me?

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Speaker 3: Because I was sitting there feeling this energy between my hand,

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Speaker 3: and I looked probably quite upset. Because I was feeling

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Speaker 3: internal panic, and I said, I don't know what's wrong

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Speaker 3: with me. I can feel something between my hands, and

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Speaker 3: I turned to the person that was sitting next to

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Speaker 3: me and I was like, feel this. And they put

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Speaker 3: their hand up and, you know, just a few inches

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Speaker 3: from mine, and fortunately they could feel something.

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Speaker 2: Coming out of my hand. And in that moment before

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Speaker 2: they felt it, I literally thought I've lost my mind,

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Speaker 2: like I'm sick.

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Speaker 1: Something's wrong.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, And so it was a big relief when they

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Speaker 3: could feel it, But of course I didn't know what

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Speaker 3: it was. I just there was just this thing coming

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Speaker 3: out of me, and one person could feel it. And

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Speaker 3: then after that other people came up to feel it

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Speaker 3: from me, and most of them could and this one woman,

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Speaker 3: and I don't remember how far down the line, let's

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Speaker 3: say it was five people later, came up to feel

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Speaker 3: this thing coming out of me. And when she put

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Speaker 3: her hand up, it immediately felt different to me than

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Speaker 3: everyone else's hands. So she put her hand up and

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Speaker 3: I could feel this lump that was, you know, probably

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Speaker 3: you know, a couple of inches five centimeters say, from

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Speaker 3: her hand, and I was like, that's so weird.

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Speaker 2: You've got this lump that's like in the air.

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Speaker 3: And I didn't know why, and it's like if I

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Speaker 3: go back to that place I was in. I had

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Speaker 3: no idea what was going on, but I was really

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Speaker 3: compelled to get rid of this lump. And so we

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Speaker 3: sat down and I'm like using my hands to smooth

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Speaker 3: this invisible but very tangible lump out, and I got

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Speaker 3: about halfway through it, like it was like literally disappearing

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Speaker 3: as I sort of smoothed it out with my finger

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Speaker 3: and I wasn't touching her hand, it was just a

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Speaker 3: little bit off her hand. And I got about halfway

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Speaker 3: and I stopped, and I hadn't thought about anything other

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Speaker 3: than what I was focused on for that entire time,

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Speaker 3: for a few minutes probably, and I look up and

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Speaker 3: we've got a whole crowd sitting around us, and she

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Speaker 3: is crying, and I was like.

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Speaker 2: Oh god, I'm hurting you.

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Speaker 3: I'm so sorry, like you should have said something, and

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Speaker 3: she was like no, no, no, please keep going.

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Speaker 2: And I was like, okay, So I.

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Speaker 3: Keep going, and I get to the point where this

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Speaker 3: lump is gone, We're pretty much gone, and I stopped

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Speaker 3: and she started bending her finger and she still got

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Speaker 3: tears streaming down her face, and she was like, I

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Speaker 3: haven't been able to bend this finger for I actually

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Speaker 3: thought for a long time she did three years, but

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Speaker 3: I saw her not that long ago, and she told

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Speaker 3: me it was ten years that she hadn't been able

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Speaker 3: to bend that finger. And I immediately went back into

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Speaker 3: quite a lot of shock. I felt a little like,

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Speaker 3: you know, I felt I had an anxiety attack, but

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Speaker 3: I felt anxious, I suppose, or.

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Speaker 2: Very uncomfortable.

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Speaker 3: It was weird because you know, initially I was just

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Speaker 3: feeling energy, and within a few minutes, I've had this

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Speaker 3: event that was very real for both me because I

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Speaker 3: could feel what I was doing.

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Speaker 2: I didn't know what it was doing.

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Speaker 3: And obviously she knew what I was doing because she

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Speaker 3: had this sore finger, and so she's aware that I

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Speaker 3: am I am without knowing it working on her finger,

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Speaker 3: so she knew it, but no one else knew.

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Speaker 2: So that was the first thing that happened.

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Speaker 3: And you know, after that, I could repeat the same

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Speaker 3: sort of thing very consistently.

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Speaker 2: So from then I was eighteen.

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Speaker 3: It was I think it was March nineteen ninety nine,

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Speaker 3: and so I was just eighteen. The August before that,

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Speaker 3: I'd just finished school and it was, you know, a

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Speaker 3: huge moment in my life. And then the consistency beyond

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Speaker 3: that at which I could have these really meaningful effects

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Speaker 3: on people has been incredibly consistent since then.

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Speaker 2: I am better at it today.

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Speaker 3: But but not dramatically better. I was still very good

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Speaker 3: at it having this strong effects from the beginning.

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Speaker 2: So that was the start.

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Speaker 1: What about the effect on you when you're healing someone.

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Speaker 1: I remember many moeons ago, and I used to stay

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Speaker 1: with you. Sometimes your energy would be zapped after a healing.

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Speaker 1: Does that still happen?

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Speaker 3: It does over time. I think with anything that you do,

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Speaker 3: you sort of learn what are the ways to be

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Speaker 3: more efficient? At what level do you have to live

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Speaker 3: to have the resilience to cope with whatever it is

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Speaker 3: you do in life? And so in the early days

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Speaker 3: I would get very drained. I would get sick quite often,

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Speaker 3: and you know, I was young. I would be partying

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Speaker 3: with my friends, I wouldn't be eating well, So I

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Speaker 3: wasn't exactly living the perfect life to have resilience. And

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Speaker 3: then the healing does take a certain amount out of

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Speaker 3: you number of levels. One is just a straight energy thing.

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Speaker 3: It takes a lot of concentration. It does drain you.

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Speaker 3: Then there's pressures that come with it because there's the

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Speaker 3: expectation on you. There's the demands people make. Then there's

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Speaker 3: the criticisms. There's all these things that come with it

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Speaker 3: that are draining in their own right.

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Speaker 2: So over time, you know, with a with.

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Speaker 3: Perhaps some's a lot of times of having a good

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Speaker 3: hard look at yourself and going how can I improve

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Speaker 3: myself to have more resilience across the board. So over time,

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Speaker 3: and when do you stop, like when do you recognize,

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Speaker 3: despite what someone's asking of you, do I need to

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Speaker 3: actually take a break or say no, I can't do it,

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Speaker 3: you know. So that's been a you know, I've been

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Speaker 3: healing for twenty four years, and over time I have

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Speaker 3: learned I have to preserve myself because ultimately I can

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Speaker 3: get very big outcomes for people that are really meaningful,

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Speaker 3: and I can do that a lot if I'm at

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Speaker 3: my best. So if I push myself down to not

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Speaker 3: being at my best, then I'm still going to help

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Speaker 3: people in the same way, but the numbers are going

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Speaker 3: to drop. So almost by being able to preserve myself,

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Speaker 3: I get more meaningful stuff done, you know. And and

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Speaker 3: so that's Yeah, there's many parts of that. It's handling

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Speaker 3: the criticisms and not letting them ruin your day or

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Speaker 3: your minute, or you're weak or whatever it is. There's

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Speaker 3: the health aspects, which you know, across the board. I feel,

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Speaker 3: no matter what you do, you want to be at

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Speaker 3: optimum health. Now that probably in what I do stands

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Speaker 3: out a bit more because because it does knock into

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Speaker 3: my health a bit.

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Speaker 2: If I'm an optimum health, I've got buffer.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, so that's a big focus for me, is buffer

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Speaker 3: to cope with all these challenges.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: I love that you're so passionate about how health, but

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Speaker 1: it makes sense as well for anyone, regardless of if

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Speaker 1: they're a hell or a doctor, artists, a dog walker,

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Speaker 1: like you need to feel.

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Speaker 3: Clear you want to And I think that there's two

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Speaker 3: you know, I have obviously my reasons to just sustain

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Speaker 3: a life that I feel good in, so that you know,

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Speaker 3: I want to be able to do the things I'm

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Speaker 3: good at and be helpful to people, but I also

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Speaker 3: want to have a good life. And I think one

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Speaker 3: of the things that I've experienced from a young age

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Speaker 3: is I've seen a lot of sick people, a lot

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Speaker 3: more than if you're not a doctor or a practitioner

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Speaker 3: of some kind, you don't typically see this, you know.

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Speaker 2: So I think that's one of the.

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Speaker 3: Things that's been part of my life is seeing so

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Speaker 3: many people suffering and all and recognizing that there's a

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Speaker 3: lot people can be doing for themselves. And I like

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Speaker 3: to I'm very happy obviously to help people where if

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Speaker 3: and when I can, but I'm very big on this

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Speaker 3: includes myself of doing the things we can to avoid

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Speaker 3: becoming one of those people. And because the suffering when

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Speaker 3: people get chronic illness or injury or whatever it is,

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Speaker 3: where it is something that's not healing because our bodiesn't,

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Speaker 3: you know, incapable often through our own behavior. When you

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Speaker 3: see what that reality is like for people, it's really

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Speaker 3: quite distressing.

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Speaker 1: Well, when we saw you live recently, I said to Matt,

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Speaker 1: I had no idea so many people live with chronic pain,

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Speaker 1: like it blew my mind. I obviously was just super

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Speaker 1: naive and I'm not a doctor, so I don't see

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Speaker 1: patients day in day out coming to you know, the

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Speaker 1: reasons why people go and need pain meds. But I was,

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Speaker 1: like I said to Matt, oh my goodness, there are

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Speaker 1: a lot of humans that must be in some sort

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Speaker 1: of discomfort or chronic pain, which is where obviously it

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Speaker 1: was so amazing to see you do your thing. Can

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Speaker 1: I talk about seeing you do that? So at the

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Speaker 1: live event, there was definitely a couple hundred of us

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Speaker 1: in that room as well, plus people coming up in

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Speaker 1: real time and you healing them. And then we I

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Speaker 1: don't know how many people you well goose six non stop, mate,

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Speaker 1: one would be one, we'll go up, you'd have a

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Speaker 1: little you have a little hug from Rocky and then

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Speaker 1: boom onto the next one. And you were consistently working

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Speaker 1: with people. And this is where I guess it's a

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Speaker 1: little bit what I was saying before, But like, how

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Speaker 1: do you one manage yourself for that? Like is there

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Speaker 1: something that you do in the lead up? Do you

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Speaker 1: go to the location earlier? You meditating? Do you need

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Speaker 1: to like before especially a big healing like that, Because

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Speaker 1: here's my theory, Yes, you're working on these six people,

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Speaker 1: but every single person in that audience would be getting

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Speaker 1: something energetic from you. I believe you've got to be

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Speaker 1: zonked after that.

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Speaker 2: I mean, the challenges before that.

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Speaker 3: I can't be sick because so that's a very that's

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Speaker 3: actually one of the whenever I do any event that's

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Speaker 3: in the future, whether that's what you saw in you know,

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Speaker 3: a few months ago, or a teaching event, or I

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Speaker 3: just did a month long teaching online. I did an

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Speaker 3: event in America where you know, people are flying in

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Speaker 3: places are booked. It's a lot of pressure to not

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Speaker 3: get sick. Now, that's not easy to do, especially in

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Speaker 3: this COVID world, and so that's part of part of

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Speaker 3: that is in the lead up is making sure that

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Speaker 3: I am beyond healthy. Now, even with all that, I

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Speaker 3: could get unlucky and get sick, and that makes it

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Speaker 3: very hard to heal because I will get sicker. So yes,

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Speaker 3: can I do it still?

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Speaker 2: Sure?

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Speaker 3: But I will get very sick if I give away

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Speaker 3: that energy and I don't have the buffer I was

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Speaker 3: mentioning before.

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Speaker 2: So that's the first thing.

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Speaker 3: Is the prep is about turning up at my best

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Speaker 3: or somewhere in a window of what we would call

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Speaker 3: our best.

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Speaker 2: So optimum is just not sick.

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Speaker 3: There's no concern for me around whether I'll be able

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Speaker 3: to do what I do because I can just do it.

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Speaker 3: So I don't worry about you know, am I suddenly

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Speaker 3: not going to be able to help people.

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Speaker 2: That is pretty consistent.

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Speaker 3: But I think even before that, you know, I'm trying

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Speaker 3: to take a you know, essentially a medicine and as

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Speaker 3: you said, having you know, a few hundred people watch

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Speaker 3: and make that something that is.

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Speaker 2: I suppose interesting to watch. And I'm not a professional

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Speaker 2: at that.

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Speaker 3: I think I'm quite good at this point at helping

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Speaker 3: people who are in trouble. So that's an interesting thing.

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Speaker 3: What you saw was the first time I'd done something

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Speaker 3: exactly like that, and so comedy in your bones.

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Speaker 1: Can I say, yeah, but that's hard, Like you're holding

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Speaker 1: a crowd whilst so you're doing that thing that takes

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Speaker 1: every part of your presence, energy, every part of your being,

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Speaker 1: and then in between that you're having a little jolly

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Speaker 1: chat to all of us. But like in classic Charlie way,

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Speaker 1: which is like, well this is who I am. I'll

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Speaker 1: just you know, and you're very funny. And I know

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Speaker 1: I'm not the only one that said that, because I

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Speaker 1: heard other people saying it to you as well.

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Speaker 3: I think that, you know, I think the good thing

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Speaker 3: about what I do is that it is just me both,

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Speaker 3: you know, the working on people. That's just part of

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Speaker 3: I mean, it's more than fifty percent of my life

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Speaker 3: at this point. I think that day I had to

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Speaker 3: be a father as well, which is you know, worth

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Speaker 3: a good percentage of my life too now because she's six.

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Speaker 3: And also, you know, a big thing for me is

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Speaker 3: wanting to educate people on the profound importance and effect

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Speaker 3: of this medicine. So it's all things that are natural

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Speaker 3: to me. So it's not hard actually to just be yourself.

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Speaker 3: Like you know, I don't find anything difficult about being myself,

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Speaker 3: which is good in what I do, because I don't

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Speaker 3: have to do any prep. So you said, do I

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Speaker 3: go there beforehand? I did walk in there for about

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Speaker 3: two minutes, and they said do you want to have

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Speaker 3: a chair?

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Speaker 2: I said that'd be great.

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Speaker 3: They show me the area in which the stage has

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Speaker 3: camera coverage, and then I left, and that's my total.

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Speaker 3: So I don't go in and rehearse. There's nothing to

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Speaker 3: rehearse because I'm just doing what I do, so I can't.

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Speaker 3: I can't have rehearsed more I suppose for working on people,

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Speaker 3: because I've done that many many times. And so it's

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Speaker 3: just about being able to go out and be comfortable,

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Speaker 3: which is actually one of probably life's biggest challenges as

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Speaker 3: being comfortable and vulnerable in front of a live audience,

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Speaker 3: which has actually been a real privilege for me because

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Speaker 3: typically I've prior to pushing myself to be in front

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Speaker 3: of a live audience, I was scared of it. But

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Speaker 3: once you do it, and especially if you know something

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Speaker 3: as well as I know it, and if you have

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Speaker 3: as much faith in your ability to do what you do,

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Speaker 3: which I have absolute faith in it, Like there's a

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Speaker 3: zero part of me that is worried about whether I

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Speaker 3: can do what I do. I know I can't do

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Speaker 3: it every time, which is part of also part of

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Speaker 3: my confidence in it that I know that I'll get

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Speaker 3: out there and work on six people or however many people,

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Speaker 3: and I will not help all of them, although I

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Speaker 3: did quite well that day, you know, And no matter

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Speaker 3: what I know that I have to have confidence in

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Speaker 3: not necessarily my ability to have a favorable outcome, it's

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Speaker 3: in my my real ability. I suppose you have the

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Speaker 3: healing ability, but then the willingness to do it. And

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Speaker 3: that's that's my focus that I'm willing to try, and

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Speaker 3: as long as I'm trying, that's where I put my

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Speaker 3: confidence not in having always the perfect outcome. And so

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Speaker 3: if I'm just proud of myself, or if I put

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Speaker 3: my confidence in around just being someone who tries to

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Speaker 3: help people, then then there's no shame in trying and

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Speaker 3: not having that outcome. You know, obviously it's disappointing for

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Speaker 3: me or the person I'm working on, but that's not

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Speaker 3: a reason to shame myself or feel embarrassed or anything

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Speaker 3: because I tried, and that you can't in life do

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Speaker 3: more than that.

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Speaker 1: You've also just said that you are just yourself when

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Speaker 1: you get up there, so you can't really rehearse that, right, You're.

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Speaker 2: Just the way I've been rehearsing my whole life.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but I also think that that's one a testament

380
00:21:02,680 --> 00:21:06,719
Speaker 1: to you but also rare, Like I know, like when

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Speaker 1: you meet someone that's real or honest and just lives

382
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Speaker 1: who they are and I think likes who they are

383
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Speaker 1: and is just confident with trusting that and being vulnerable

384
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Speaker 1: in that space, and that's you. That is such a

385
00:21:18,200 --> 00:21:20,199
Speaker 1: rare gift to have as a human, to be so

386
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Speaker 1: clear with, well, this is who I am. I'm going

387
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Speaker 1: to show up as that exactly that, and that is you.

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Speaker 1: One hundred percent, there is no like there's no mask

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Speaker 1: with you, or it feels like that to me, And

390
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Speaker 1: I'm saying that as a compliment, but I do believe

391
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Speaker 1: it's rare. I think like we live in a world

392
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Speaker 1: where now I I'm someone that will pop a filter

393
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Speaker 1: on my when I'm doing my inster stories, you know

394
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Speaker 1: what I mean, whereas you're just like, nah, this is me,

395
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Speaker 1: this is who I am. And I think that that, yes,

396
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Speaker 1: what you do is something that you love and cherish

397
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Speaker 1: and believe in one hundred percent. But I think the

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Speaker 1: magic is also just being an honest, real human being.

399
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Speaker 1: Do you feel like that that is kind of like

400
00:22:02,040 --> 00:22:04,080
Speaker 1: I feel like that's some of your magic, just showing

401
00:22:04,160 --> 00:22:05,160
Speaker 1: up and being yourself.

402
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Speaker 3: Well, I feel like, I mean, I don't know how

403
00:22:09,800 --> 00:22:15,719
Speaker 3: to be not myself. But I also think that with

404
00:22:15,800 --> 00:22:20,640
Speaker 3: what I do, I'm on very very thin ice all

405
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Speaker 3: the time, because you know, people are looking for fault,

406
00:22:27,080 --> 00:22:32,520
Speaker 3: and so it's critical that I am me the good

407
00:22:32,560 --> 00:22:37,240
Speaker 3: and the bad, the successes and the.

408
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Speaker 2: Failures, because.

409
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Speaker 3: If I try to present something that ultimately isn't accurate,

410
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Speaker 3: then it will undermine the accurate, the true, you know,

411
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Speaker 3: And so I don't see any gain in thinking, how

412
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Speaker 3: do I get perceived as perfect here? Yeah, and whether

413
00:23:02,720 --> 00:23:05,160
Speaker 3: it be in my results or in things I say

414
00:23:05,480 --> 00:23:08,280
Speaker 3: or things I do. And I think that because as

415
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Speaker 3: soon as you do that in life, people will question everything.

416
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Speaker 3: And the thing is with me, no matter how much

417
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Speaker 3: good comes from the work I do, people are ready

418
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Speaker 3: to pull it apart if they can. And so it's

419
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Speaker 3: just it's actually literally not an option for me to

420
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Speaker 3: be anything other than straightforward. This is what I do,

421
00:23:30,040 --> 00:23:33,760
Speaker 3: These are the results, this is how I feel about it,

422
00:23:33,880 --> 00:23:37,320
Speaker 3: this is what I know, this is what I don't know, and.

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Speaker 1: This is who I am.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, well it is. It is like, that's this is

425
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Speaker 2: what I do day to day.

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Speaker 1: You know.

427
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Speaker 3: It's what you saw on that stage or what you

428
00:23:46,720 --> 00:23:50,199
Speaker 3: saw in the show I did, or go on the

429
00:23:50,240 --> 00:23:54,120
Speaker 3: news or wherever it is is no different to what

430
00:23:54,200 --> 00:23:56,000
Speaker 3: you would see if you're sitting in the corner of

431
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Speaker 3: my room and witnessing my life.

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Speaker 2: It's identical. And that is all I'm ever trying.

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Speaker 1: Which is rare, though, is what I'm saying. And I'm

434
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Speaker 1: saying there's a compliment to you as well.

435
00:24:06,680 --> 00:24:07,320
Speaker 2: Yeah, I guess it.

436
00:24:07,400 --> 00:24:10,720
Speaker 3: Probably it is rare in the space I'm in I

437
00:24:10,720 --> 00:24:12,639
Speaker 3: think for sure, But yeah, you're right, I think it

438
00:24:13,400 --> 00:24:16,160
Speaker 3: is rare. I think people do often, you know, have

439
00:24:16,760 --> 00:24:22,600
Speaker 3: different masks for different situations. I think that's that's true,

440
00:24:22,600 --> 00:24:26,200
Speaker 3: and I think in my space particularly that's not great.

441
00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:28,280
Speaker 3: You know, you do see a lot of people who

442
00:24:28,280 --> 00:24:31,840
Speaker 3: are sort of leading in these areas, whether it be

443
00:24:31,880 --> 00:24:36,760
Speaker 3: in meditation or yoga or all these spaces where they

444
00:24:37,320 --> 00:24:41,320
Speaker 3: do put on a show and then you know, often

445
00:24:41,400 --> 00:24:47,200
Speaker 3: later you can you know, you see the cracks and

446
00:24:47,240 --> 00:24:50,800
Speaker 3: then it undermines the good and you know, the idea

447
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:55,840
Speaker 3: that people can be perfect is it's impossible.

448
00:24:56,720 --> 00:24:58,480
Speaker 2: Exactly is an impossible thing.

449
00:24:58,520 --> 00:25:02,200
Speaker 3: So if someone appears to be something that resembles perfection,

450
00:25:03,960 --> 00:25:07,679
Speaker 3: then they're probably far from it, is the truth, because

451
00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:15,080
Speaker 3: I guess vulnerability is the ability to be imperfect, to

452
00:25:15,160 --> 00:25:17,280
Speaker 3: be good at something but not always good at it,

453
00:25:17,400 --> 00:25:23,520
Speaker 3: or to be you know, to to be I suppose confident,

454
00:25:23,640 --> 00:25:26,960
Speaker 3: to say how they feel no matter how someone's going

455
00:25:27,000 --> 00:25:29,920
Speaker 3: to feel about that. And a lot of people aren't

456
00:25:29,960 --> 00:25:33,240
Speaker 3: comfortable that they want to be liked by everyone totally.

457
00:25:33,400 --> 00:25:36,760
Speaker 3: But I think that if everyone likes someone, they're probably

458
00:25:36,800 --> 00:25:42,240
Speaker 3: not a very honest person because you cannot possibly please every.

459
00:25:42,000 --> 00:25:47,800
Speaker 1: Person absolutely, Like I think it's natural for you know what,

460
00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:51,679
Speaker 1: even when you're watching television or something, you'll be like,

461
00:25:51,760 --> 00:25:53,439
Speaker 1: I really like that act r I don't really like that,

462
00:25:53,520 --> 00:25:56,520
Speaker 1: Like that's human nature, Like it can be down to

463
00:25:57,080 --> 00:25:59,800
Speaker 1: the look of them, right, might remind you of an X,

464
00:25:59,840 --> 00:26:01,280
Speaker 1: So you don't like, you know what I mean, Like

465
00:26:01,359 --> 00:26:02,320
Speaker 1: that's humans.

466
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:05,159
Speaker 3: We actually judge a lot like we do, you know,

467
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:07,080
Speaker 3: and it'd be good if we did that less. But

468
00:26:07,119 --> 00:26:10,840
Speaker 3: at the same time, I do feel that if you're

469
00:26:10,880 --> 00:26:15,320
Speaker 3: just playing to your audience all the time and trying

470
00:26:15,359 --> 00:26:20,880
Speaker 3: to you know, I think it's called love bombing, Yeah,

471
00:26:20,920 --> 00:26:25,760
Speaker 3: really pleasing everyone you are you know, you're It's like

472
00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:28,879
Speaker 3: if I walked into a church and then spoke about

473
00:26:28,920 --> 00:26:31,479
Speaker 3: my work from a religious point of view, but then

474
00:26:31,520 --> 00:26:34,199
Speaker 3: I walk into an atheist group and I'm taking that

475
00:26:34,280 --> 00:26:37,600
Speaker 3: away and I'm adapting to the audience.

476
00:26:39,000 --> 00:26:41,679
Speaker 2: Then what happens is the atheist catch.

477
00:26:41,480 --> 00:26:45,920
Speaker 3: Wind that I'm and I'm changing my personality to suit

478
00:26:45,960 --> 00:26:50,240
Speaker 3: the audience, and ultimately, you know, again that undermines.

479
00:26:50,080 --> 00:26:51,600
Speaker 2: Totally your work.

480
00:26:52,200 --> 00:26:55,760
Speaker 1: Well there's there's there's no backbone there, it's just.

481
00:26:56,200 --> 00:26:58,399
Speaker 2: You're trying to please everyone. Yeah, and what's true?

482
00:26:58,440 --> 00:26:58,639
Speaker 3: You know?

483
00:26:59,359 --> 00:27:02,760
Speaker 1: Can I talk specifically about the healing because it was

484
00:27:02,880 --> 00:27:05,840
Speaker 1: cool to get to watch you on stage. It seems

485
00:27:05,960 --> 00:27:07,840
Speaker 1: like and I could be wrong, so please correct me.

486
00:27:08,600 --> 00:27:10,920
Speaker 1: It looks like there is one of two ways you

487
00:27:11,520 --> 00:27:15,680
Speaker 1: do things. So sometimes you've got one palm on top

488
00:27:15,720 --> 00:27:18,640
Speaker 1: of the other, and it's like you're doing like moving

489
00:27:18,840 --> 00:27:23,160
Speaker 1: energy within your palm. The other time, sometimes the hands

490
00:27:23,160 --> 00:27:26,200
Speaker 1: aren't involved, but your eyes will kind of like flicker

491
00:27:26,520 --> 00:27:29,399
Speaker 1: back a little bit. Have I articulated them?

492
00:27:29,440 --> 00:27:29,680
Speaker 2: Okay?

493
00:27:29,720 --> 00:27:30,200
Speaker 1: Are they too?

494
00:27:30,280 --> 00:27:36,800
Speaker 3: Yes? Externally? That is you've described that accurately. I cut

495
00:27:36,840 --> 00:27:40,480
Speaker 3: my hands like that because they do like to move

496
00:27:40,520 --> 00:27:44,359
Speaker 3: around a bit, and I'm just trying to keep them

497
00:27:44,400 --> 00:27:46,920
Speaker 3: in a position a bit still so I don't look

498
00:27:47,119 --> 00:27:49,880
Speaker 3: too weird. But I could put them in my pocket.

499
00:27:50,080 --> 00:27:52,680
Speaker 3: I could, you know, if someone was physically in front

500
00:27:52,720 --> 00:27:54,320
Speaker 3: of me. I could use my hands above them if

501
00:27:54,359 --> 00:27:56,720
Speaker 3: I wanted, But I don't really need to, so I

502
00:27:56,720 --> 00:27:59,119
Speaker 3: guess when I switched at some point from using my

503
00:27:59,200 --> 00:28:04,560
Speaker 3: hands to heal to not, I just learned to sort

504
00:28:04,600 --> 00:28:06,280
Speaker 3: of cut them like that just to keep them in

505
00:28:06,320 --> 00:28:09,280
Speaker 3: a position as best I can. I don't realize actually

506
00:28:09,280 --> 00:28:11,560
Speaker 3: when I'm doing it, they're moving until I see footage

507
00:28:11,600 --> 00:28:14,960
Speaker 3: of it. But the movement of the hands isn't me

508
00:28:15,240 --> 00:28:19,640
Speaker 3: like doing something within my hands. It's actually not conscious

509
00:28:20,280 --> 00:28:23,639
Speaker 3: movement because all of the healing is done from in

510
00:28:23,680 --> 00:28:27,680
Speaker 3: my head and within concentration from my head. So one

511
00:28:27,720 --> 00:28:30,200
Speaker 3: way I heal is with concentration, and that is where

512
00:28:30,200 --> 00:28:32,840
Speaker 3: I cut my hands. The other way you're describing where

513
00:28:32,880 --> 00:28:36,520
Speaker 3: I don't cut my hands is where I heal through

514
00:28:36,640 --> 00:28:38,160
Speaker 3: being very present.

515
00:28:38,240 --> 00:28:39,120
Speaker 2: So I've got to.

516
00:28:40,560 --> 00:28:47,320
Speaker 3: Empty my entire head to zero. Thought, it's easier said

517
00:28:47,360 --> 00:28:51,280
Speaker 3: than done. If people try that for a few seconds,

518
00:28:51,360 --> 00:28:55,239
Speaker 3: they'll find out pretty quickly to have nothing. So I

519
00:28:55,280 --> 00:28:58,280
Speaker 3: will come to that nothingness, and it's a long way

520
00:28:58,280 --> 00:28:59,840
Speaker 3: to heal, you know. Sometimes I could do that for

521
00:29:00,240 --> 00:29:04,280
Speaker 3: up to twenty minutes of nothingness. It's a long time,

522
00:29:04,320 --> 00:29:08,480
Speaker 3: but that's what I could do. And so they're the

523
00:29:08,520 --> 00:29:13,280
Speaker 3: two categories. So one is I would call active concentration

524
00:29:13,360 --> 00:29:16,520
Speaker 3: that the one is more passive. But then within those

525
00:29:16,560 --> 00:29:19,720
Speaker 3: two things, there's a lot of different things I can do,

526
00:29:19,840 --> 00:29:23,120
Speaker 3: which is, you know, a longer conversation than this. So

527
00:29:23,160 --> 00:29:27,400
Speaker 3: it's not like, you know, there's just like what In

528
00:29:27,400 --> 00:29:29,440
Speaker 3: some ways what I do is quite simple at least

529
00:29:29,520 --> 00:29:32,800
Speaker 3: I feel it is. But there's especially in the active

530
00:29:32,840 --> 00:29:34,880
Speaker 3: healing where I'm concentrating, there's a lot I can do

531
00:29:34,960 --> 00:29:38,320
Speaker 3: within people's bodies. So probably ninety percent of the healing

532
00:29:38,360 --> 00:29:41,520
Speaker 3: I do would be the active and that's much more tiring.

533
00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:44,960
Speaker 2: But there's a lot, you know, like you'd.

534
00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:48,440
Speaker 3: Have to sit down do my teaching to take me

535
00:29:48,520 --> 00:29:51,560
Speaker 3: off sort of a few days to go through, you know,

536
00:29:51,600 --> 00:29:54,600
Speaker 3: a big amount of the different ways I can use

537
00:29:54,640 --> 00:29:58,600
Speaker 3: that energy within someone's body. If that way doesn't work,

538
00:29:58,640 --> 00:30:00,760
Speaker 3: I typically then go to the the other way. So

539
00:30:02,360 --> 00:30:05,160
Speaker 3: again there's a lot of different things I can do

540
00:30:05,400 --> 00:30:08,600
Speaker 3: with the energy within those two different It's like two

541
00:30:08,600 --> 00:30:09,600
Speaker 3: different headspaces.

542
00:30:10,320 --> 00:30:13,360
Speaker 1: And with like is anything visual or is it just nothing?

543
00:30:13,520 --> 00:30:18,560
Speaker 2: Like it's not that visual.

544
00:30:19,520 --> 00:30:23,520
Speaker 3: It's like, I'm not a super visual person, so it's

545
00:30:23,560 --> 00:30:26,680
Speaker 3: a little bit abstract, like I can see, you.

546
00:30:26,640 --> 00:30:27,840
Speaker 2: Know, maybe some.

547
00:30:29,160 --> 00:30:35,320
Speaker 3: Very small and weak visuals, but I would consider it

548
00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:38,080
Speaker 3: more of a knowing, so I know what I'm doing.

549
00:30:38,120 --> 00:30:41,080
Speaker 3: It's a hard thing to describe, but it's like when

550
00:30:41,080 --> 00:30:44,440
Speaker 3: I'm working on someone, I just know and I can feel.

551
00:30:44,520 --> 00:30:46,640
Speaker 3: So it's like a knowing and a feeling much more

552
00:30:46,680 --> 00:30:50,720
Speaker 3: than is than a visual representation. So there's really no

553
00:30:50,840 --> 00:30:54,720
Speaker 3: imagination in what I do. I don't bring in a

554
00:30:54,800 --> 00:30:59,280
Speaker 3: visual component. Really, it's more of, you know, a literal

555
00:30:59,720 --> 00:31:01,960
Speaker 3: and a movement that I'm aware is happening.

556
00:31:02,560 --> 00:31:03,080
Speaker 2: How cool.

557
00:31:03,760 --> 00:31:07,720
Speaker 1: I love that you teach. Like when I first met you,

558
00:31:07,760 --> 00:31:09,400
Speaker 1: I didn't really like I thought this was like a

559
00:31:09,520 --> 00:31:12,400
Speaker 1: Charlie gift as opposed to something that you could teach.

560
00:31:13,120 --> 00:31:16,680
Speaker 3: Well, I think that I've sort of always for a

561
00:31:16,680 --> 00:31:19,440
Speaker 3: long time felt like that too, that you know, it's

562
00:31:20,040 --> 00:31:22,160
Speaker 3: innate for me, so like I felt it one day

563
00:31:22,200 --> 00:31:23,120
Speaker 3: and then I could just do it.

564
00:31:24,480 --> 00:31:26,840
Speaker 2: So I never taught until a year or two ago.

565
00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:30,520
Speaker 3: I started teaching because people kept asking me, and I thought, well,

566
00:31:31,000 --> 00:31:35,040
Speaker 3: I can't teach you how to heal people, but I

567
00:31:35,080 --> 00:31:37,760
Speaker 3: can teach you how I do it, and then if

568
00:31:37,800 --> 00:31:44,040
Speaker 3: you take those lessons and apply them, you may well

569
00:31:44,080 --> 00:31:46,240
Speaker 3: have an effect like me or better or not as

570
00:31:46,280 --> 00:31:50,080
Speaker 3: good or somewhere in between. So that I sort of

571
00:31:50,120 --> 00:31:52,600
Speaker 3: got my head around. That took me about twenty two

572
00:31:52,680 --> 00:31:55,160
Speaker 3: years to get there where I was like, okay, well

573
00:31:55,200 --> 00:31:57,560
Speaker 3: I will teach it then, And you know, I don't

574
00:31:57,600 --> 00:31:59,920
Speaker 3: subscribe to everyone or do the same just like not

575
00:32:00,080 --> 00:32:02,520
Speaker 3: everyone will sing the same, or cook the same, or

576
00:32:02,560 --> 00:32:05,400
Speaker 3: paint the same or anything like that. But I do

577
00:32:05,440 --> 00:32:08,480
Speaker 3: think that if you give people the basic tools, And

578
00:32:08,560 --> 00:32:10,880
Speaker 3: also what I do is like when I teach, I

579
00:32:10,920 --> 00:32:14,520
Speaker 3: demonstrate actual healing. So I take real cases and I

580
00:32:14,560 --> 00:32:16,640
Speaker 3: work on them while I'm describing what I do. So

581
00:32:16,760 --> 00:32:20,680
Speaker 3: not only am I showing this stuff does work, look

582
00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:22,600
Speaker 3: at it in action, so it can give people the

583
00:32:22,680 --> 00:32:27,280
Speaker 3: confidence around that this actually can have outcomes that are significant.

584
00:32:28,560 --> 00:32:32,400
Speaker 3: Then I teach it to the point where people kind of,

585
00:32:33,040 --> 00:32:34,719
Speaker 3: you know, kind of get to the point where they

586
00:32:34,760 --> 00:32:37,880
Speaker 3: can do the things I'm describing, and then they can

587
00:32:37,920 --> 00:32:38,719
Speaker 3: go and practice them.

588
00:32:38,760 --> 00:32:42,920
Speaker 2: And the feedback is as I always expected it to be.

589
00:32:42,960 --> 00:32:46,800
Speaker 3: For some people, they're not getting much change in their

590
00:32:46,800 --> 00:32:49,320
Speaker 3: ability to heal, and some people are getting profound abilities,

591
00:32:50,760 --> 00:32:54,320
Speaker 3: and that's no different to any human capability. We have

592
00:32:55,160 --> 00:32:58,400
Speaker 3: things we can do more better than others and not

593
00:32:58,480 --> 00:32:59,880
Speaker 3: as good, and that's normal.

594
00:33:00,120 --> 00:33:03,040
Speaker 2: So it's been quite good to see that.

595
00:33:03,360 --> 00:33:07,360
Speaker 3: Yeah, I can, so I can teach the people with

596
00:33:07,440 --> 00:33:11,880
Speaker 3: an underlying ability, but even the people who don't will

597
00:33:11,920 --> 00:33:16,120
Speaker 3: benefit in that. Learning the movement of energy and how

598
00:33:16,160 --> 00:33:18,280
Speaker 3: that can even affect our own selves when it comes

599
00:33:18,320 --> 00:33:19,680
Speaker 3: to healing is very.

600
00:33:19,520 --> 00:33:23,560
Speaker 1: Powerful, so fascinating, it's so cool that you teach it.

601
00:33:23,600 --> 00:33:25,280
Speaker 1: So I'm gonna have all the show notes which will

602
00:33:25,320 --> 00:33:28,320
Speaker 1: say all about your websites so people can enroll. Do

603
00:33:28,400 --> 00:33:33,280
Speaker 1: you notice the people that come to you to learn healing,

604
00:33:33,520 --> 00:33:36,280
Speaker 1: do they already have like a health background, or like

605
00:33:36,320 --> 00:33:39,880
Speaker 1: a reggie background, or is it a specific.

606
00:33:39,760 --> 00:33:44,200
Speaker 3: There's a lot of people who have already studied, you know,

607
00:33:44,240 --> 00:33:50,080
Speaker 3: sometimes even multiple different modalities, and probably people do it

608
00:33:50,080 --> 00:33:52,120
Speaker 3: for the first time. But I think I noticed those

609
00:33:52,160 --> 00:33:54,280
Speaker 3: because I get a lot of people saying I'm a

610
00:33:54,280 --> 00:33:57,240
Speaker 3: reiki master, I'm a professional this, and after doing my

611
00:33:57,400 --> 00:34:01,040
Speaker 3: program now they're significantly better at actually really healing people.

612
00:34:01,560 --> 00:34:05,800
Speaker 3: And I think that I have a pretty big advantage

613
00:34:06,040 --> 00:34:10,799
Speaker 3: in teaching I can actually do it. I actually get

614
00:34:10,840 --> 00:34:17,520
Speaker 3: these profound results on people, Whereas if you've learned to

615
00:34:17,600 --> 00:34:19,759
Speaker 3: do reiki and you're not that good at it, then

616
00:34:19,800 --> 00:34:24,360
Speaker 3: all you have is theory but not really any practical

617
00:34:24,400 --> 00:34:27,440
Speaker 3: experience that works if you're not that good at it.

618
00:34:28,480 --> 00:34:30,920
Speaker 3: And I dare say most people who are reiki masters

619
00:34:30,920 --> 00:34:34,640
Speaker 3: aren't near me, and so I have this big advantage

620
00:34:34,680 --> 00:34:36,520
Speaker 3: of like, yes, it's innate to me, but I actually

621
00:34:36,520 --> 00:34:40,400
Speaker 3: know how to do it, and you get these consistent,

622
00:34:41,360 --> 00:34:47,040
Speaker 3: clear results. So I think that ultimately, you know, the

623
00:34:48,200 --> 00:34:50,520
Speaker 3: people who are going to teach anything in life better

624
00:34:50,520 --> 00:34:54,080
Speaker 3: are the ones who do it well because you simplify it,

625
00:34:54,239 --> 00:34:58,200
Speaker 3: you know, the more you know something that more simply

626
00:34:58,280 --> 00:35:02,439
Speaker 3: you can explain it. And the issue around a lot

627
00:35:02,480 --> 00:35:07,000
Speaker 3: of teaching, especially the people who don't really have great results,

628
00:35:07,200 --> 00:35:09,600
Speaker 3: is they complicate things, and.

629
00:35:11,280 --> 00:35:13,360
Speaker 2: These things they're not complicated.

630
00:35:13,719 --> 00:35:14,320
Speaker 1: It's simple.

631
00:35:15,280 --> 00:35:16,760
Speaker 2: I think it's incredibly simple.

632
00:35:18,080 --> 00:35:21,160
Speaker 3: But the complicated bit maybe why is one person better

633
00:35:21,400 --> 00:35:23,880
Speaker 3: than another? And that's a complication that you could apply

634
00:35:23,920 --> 00:35:27,360
Speaker 3: to any single skill on this earth. But it's an

635
00:35:27,360 --> 00:35:31,040
Speaker 3: irrelevant question because it's just a human norm that we

636
00:35:31,160 --> 00:35:34,759
Speaker 3: have different levels with different things. I still can't My

637
00:35:34,880 --> 00:35:37,960
Speaker 3: daughter at six can already draw better than me, you know,

638
00:35:38,480 --> 00:35:41,960
Speaker 3: and she'll get a lot better, no doubt, you know.

639
00:35:42,160 --> 00:35:45,880
Speaker 2: So, and that is what it is, you know, Like, yeah.

640
00:35:45,719 --> 00:35:47,560
Speaker 3: I I practice, blah blah, but I'm never going to

641
00:35:47,560 --> 00:35:50,000
Speaker 3: be as good as someone who's an aately good at.

642
00:35:51,560 --> 00:35:55,480
Speaker 2: Drawing. So I think that's the thing. It's like you've

643
00:35:55,520 --> 00:35:57,200
Speaker 2: got And in.

644
00:35:57,080 --> 00:36:03,120
Speaker 3: Fact, my whole life really is about ultimately showing these

645
00:36:03,160 --> 00:36:05,920
Speaker 3: things demonstrating it to the point where I hope at

646
00:36:05,920 --> 00:36:11,000
Speaker 3: some point it becomes really sought after globally. And then

647
00:36:11,120 --> 00:36:13,640
Speaker 3: with that that then people decide to see if they

648
00:36:13,640 --> 00:36:16,879
Speaker 3: can do it, taught by people who can actually do it.

649
00:36:17,239 --> 00:36:20,480
Speaker 1: Magic was in the school system, Well.

650
00:36:20,440 --> 00:36:24,279
Speaker 3: It should be, and it should absolutely be, and that

651
00:36:24,719 --> 00:36:28,640
Speaker 3: hopefully because that any talent, it essentially is in the

652
00:36:28,640 --> 00:36:33,080
Speaker 3: school system. So that's that's where we give children a

653
00:36:33,200 --> 00:36:37,080
Speaker 3: range of different things to see what they take to

654
00:36:37,800 --> 00:36:41,240
Speaker 3: and then it bubbles to the best, bubble to the surface,

655
00:36:41,280 --> 00:36:42,480
Speaker 3: whether that be sport.

656
00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:45,760
Speaker 2: Art, maths, English, whatever. It is so drama.

657
00:36:46,440 --> 00:36:48,399
Speaker 3: So I think that that's what I hope to see

658
00:36:48,400 --> 00:36:51,600
Speaker 3: one day we're getting talent at school age support for

659
00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:55,279
Speaker 3: these sorts of things, and then and then nurturing and

660
00:36:55,360 --> 00:36:58,279
Speaker 3: teaching of that talent with actual talent, not just some

661
00:36:58,360 --> 00:37:01,359
Speaker 3: person who did a three day reiki course and now

662
00:37:01,360 --> 00:37:04,719
Speaker 3: they're a teacher, Like, well, if they're not good at it,

663
00:37:05,080 --> 00:37:06,920
Speaker 3: then it's the blind leading the blind.

664
00:37:07,080 --> 00:37:08,640
Speaker 2: If they're good at it, fantastic.

665
00:37:08,640 --> 00:37:11,360
Speaker 3: I'm not saying it's always bad, but my guess is

666
00:37:11,400 --> 00:37:13,920
Speaker 3: it's ninety nine percent pretty average.

667
00:37:15,080 --> 00:37:19,200
Speaker 1: So yeah, I could deep dive that one. Yeah, with you,

668
00:37:19,320 --> 00:37:23,560
Speaker 1: But how do you go with like you've obviously had

669
00:37:23,600 --> 00:37:27,120
Speaker 1: the heal of TV show in America, You've been on

670
00:37:27,280 --> 00:37:34,600
Speaker 1: multiple news shows, radio shows. Does does any of that like, oh,

671
00:37:34,760 --> 00:37:38,560
Speaker 1: like this audience, like technically it could potentially be a

672
00:37:38,719 --> 00:37:42,560
Speaker 1: very big audience. Does any of that like public speaking stuff,

673
00:37:42,560 --> 00:37:44,719
Speaker 1: not public speaking, but like knowing, oh god, I'm going

674
00:37:44,800 --> 00:37:46,000
Speaker 1: to be on TV to a lot of people. Is

675
00:37:46,040 --> 00:37:47,759
Speaker 1: that pressure ever coming or do you just come back

676
00:37:47,800 --> 00:37:50,520
Speaker 1: to I believe what I'm doing, I know who I am,

677
00:37:50,760 --> 00:37:53,680
Speaker 1: I trust the work that like, I trust what I'm doing.

678
00:37:53,840 --> 00:37:54,719
Speaker 1: Do you come back to that?

679
00:37:55,040 --> 00:37:57,320
Speaker 3: I mean when I first did it, I was definitely

680
00:37:58,120 --> 00:38:02,239
Speaker 3: nervous because I can do what I do, but you

681
00:38:02,280 --> 00:38:05,920
Speaker 3: don't know how people are going to take it and

682
00:38:06,160 --> 00:38:10,160
Speaker 3: do their ddits. And you know, it's TV is a

683
00:38:10,239 --> 00:38:16,120
Speaker 3: dangerous sport really because people can have formed a view

684
00:38:16,200 --> 00:38:20,279
Speaker 3: already and they can sway television to really look how

685
00:38:20,320 --> 00:38:21,040
Speaker 3: they want.

686
00:38:21,280 --> 00:38:23,319
Speaker 2: You know, I have the advantage.

687
00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:25,600
Speaker 3: Of my results consistently happen.

688
00:38:26,719 --> 00:38:28,920
Speaker 1: And you've done all the period like that.

689
00:38:29,400 --> 00:38:31,960
Speaker 3: Yeah, I've done a little bit of that, and and

690
00:38:32,600 --> 00:38:37,719
Speaker 3: but I'm consistent. I have been since that time I

691
00:38:37,760 --> 00:38:41,200
Speaker 3: mentioned earlier at the beginning so I don't worry about

692
00:38:41,200 --> 00:38:41,719
Speaker 3: whether I.

693
00:38:41,719 --> 00:38:42,759
Speaker 2: Can do it.

694
00:38:43,239 --> 00:38:47,759
Speaker 3: Definitely, Initially, I quite rightly was like, these TV people

695
00:38:47,880 --> 00:38:54,120
Speaker 3: gonna gonna show the truth. And fortunately, because it's so

696
00:38:54,320 --> 00:38:59,319
Speaker 3: clear what I do, you know, they showed things as

697
00:38:59,360 --> 00:39:02,600
Speaker 3: they are, and that was okay. So I think that

698
00:39:02,840 --> 00:39:05,760
Speaker 3: even though, like certainly before I did my first show

699
00:39:05,800 --> 00:39:09,839
Speaker 3: and with the first few things I did on television, yeah,

700
00:39:09,880 --> 00:39:12,440
Speaker 3: it was a bit daunting because you know, it's an

701
00:39:12,560 --> 00:39:13,680
Speaker 3: enormous trust thing.

702
00:39:13,760 --> 00:39:15,960
Speaker 2: Again, it's not trust.

703
00:39:15,680 --> 00:39:18,360
Speaker 3: Of my ability to do what I do, but also

704
00:39:18,560 --> 00:39:21,440
Speaker 3: like just as you know, being in front of a camera,

705
00:39:22,120 --> 00:39:24,160
Speaker 3: you don't know if you're going to be able to

706
00:39:24,200 --> 00:39:29,240
Speaker 3: be comfortable to be yourself, and so yeah, I definitely

707
00:39:29,239 --> 00:39:32,239
Speaker 3: felt that. But I found very quickly that I was

708
00:39:32,280 --> 00:39:35,319
Speaker 3: being filmed doing what I do best, and I think

709
00:39:35,400 --> 00:39:39,440
Speaker 3: that that's just comfortable for me. Now, if you put

710
00:39:39,480 --> 00:39:42,440
Speaker 3: me on a camera, gave me a script and I

711
00:39:42,480 --> 00:39:45,880
Speaker 3: had to pretend to be something else, I probably wouldn't

712
00:39:45,920 --> 00:39:49,760
Speaker 3: do that very well because that isn't what I do,

713
00:39:49,800 --> 00:39:52,680
Speaker 3: you know. So I think that the nature of pointing

714
00:39:52,719 --> 00:39:57,320
Speaker 3: a camera at someone in there in their absolute natural environment,

715
00:39:58,640 --> 00:40:02,360
Speaker 3: you're really not a problem. And you know, I mean

716
00:40:02,400 --> 00:40:04,880
Speaker 3: I had another experience in television where I got interviewed

717
00:40:04,920 --> 00:40:05,920
Speaker 3: and it was very.

718
00:40:05,920 --> 00:40:09,600
Speaker 2: Hostile, and that was hard.

719
00:40:09,719 --> 00:40:11,600
Speaker 3: I was definitely nervous for I went on and I

720
00:40:11,600 --> 00:40:13,640
Speaker 3: didn't know it was going to be hostile. But I

721
00:40:13,680 --> 00:40:17,799
Speaker 3: had an advantage in that that the truth is on

722
00:40:17,880 --> 00:40:25,520
Speaker 3: my side, So even when someone's been hostile towards me, ultimately, yeah,

723
00:40:25,880 --> 00:40:28,560
Speaker 3: I'm very comfortable that the truth is what it is.

724
00:40:28,640 --> 00:40:31,520
Speaker 3: And you know, someone said to me recently, in fact,

725
00:40:31,680 --> 00:40:33,719
Speaker 3: my doctor just said to me, you know, Charlie, I

726
00:40:34,560 --> 00:40:38,160
Speaker 3: don't think I've ever seen anyone show a medicine as

727
00:40:38,280 --> 00:40:40,040
Speaker 3: publicly as you do.

728
00:40:40,640 --> 00:40:41,440
Speaker 2: All the time.

729
00:40:42,040 --> 00:40:45,919
Speaker 3: You're completely vulnerable to it not working out or going wrong,

730
00:40:45,960 --> 00:40:47,840
Speaker 3: and you still get online or go on the news

731
00:40:47,920 --> 00:40:49,880
Speaker 3: or go on show, or go into a hospital or

732
00:40:49,880 --> 00:40:52,920
Speaker 3: going to working with sports people or doing whatever, and

733
00:40:52,920 --> 00:40:55,480
Speaker 3: you just keep showing it and you don't see that

734
00:40:55,520 --> 00:40:57,960
Speaker 3: with medicines. It was good for me to hear that

735
00:40:58,000 --> 00:41:00,480
Speaker 3: because I was like, you know, I've spent my life

736
00:41:00,560 --> 00:41:02,799
Speaker 3: trying to sort of prove this space and he just said, well,

737
00:41:02,840 --> 00:41:07,400
Speaker 3: no one, no nothing has this consistency of being willing

738
00:41:07,520 --> 00:41:10,200
Speaker 3: to be exposed and you just can see it, like

739
00:41:10,680 --> 00:41:13,360
Speaker 3: you can go and see any time you whether it

740
00:41:13,400 --> 00:41:15,799
Speaker 3: be the live show or whatever else, or I'm just

741
00:41:15,840 --> 00:41:20,920
Speaker 3: putting myself in a position to fail, you know, and

742
00:41:21,360 --> 00:41:25,520
Speaker 3: it's it's yeah, it's just a very interesting.

743
00:41:25,760 --> 00:41:27,880
Speaker 1: It also comes back to and I know this is

744
00:41:28,040 --> 00:41:31,400
Speaker 1: probably kind of the theme of Dave's like, yes, you

745
00:41:31,440 --> 00:41:36,759
Speaker 1: trust what you do and it's your absolute like I

746
00:41:36,760 --> 00:41:38,520
Speaker 1: want to say a natural state, but it's like it's

747
00:41:38,600 --> 00:41:40,960
Speaker 1: where you know, hey, this is something that I do.

748
00:41:41,600 --> 00:41:44,759
Speaker 1: I trust it, it works, and I'm good at it,

749
00:41:44,840 --> 00:41:48,680
Speaker 1: and I like that like you and you like that

750
00:41:48,960 --> 00:41:51,440
Speaker 1: is the space where like you are yourself and I

751
00:41:51,440 --> 00:41:53,640
Speaker 1: think that that never lets you down hostile or not.

752
00:41:54,560 --> 00:41:58,560
Speaker 1: I think just being I watched a few interviews with

753
00:41:58,680 --> 00:42:01,200
Speaker 1: you in the lead up to this point, and you

754
00:42:01,280 --> 00:42:05,000
Speaker 1: are hands down, this is Charlie, this is who I am,

755
00:42:05,040 --> 00:42:08,040
Speaker 1: and you're just honest and you answer every question. Like

756
00:42:08,080 --> 00:42:10,480
Speaker 1: even when I interview people on the podcast, there often

757
00:42:10,520 --> 00:42:12,080
Speaker 1: will be like we need to see all the questions

758
00:42:12,080 --> 00:42:13,640
Speaker 1: when you approve them first, and you were just like,

759
00:42:13,840 --> 00:42:14,920
Speaker 1: just ask me whatever you want to.

760
00:42:15,080 --> 00:42:17,319
Speaker 3: I don't want to know the questions actually because I'd

761
00:42:17,400 --> 00:42:22,200
Speaker 3: rather not think about it until the meant yeah, because

762
00:42:22,200 --> 00:42:24,160
Speaker 3: otherwise I think that then you've sort of not that

763
00:42:24,200 --> 00:42:26,799
Speaker 3: you won't tell the truth, but then you're trying to

764
00:42:27,160 --> 00:42:29,320
Speaker 3: That puts you in a position, like we said earlier,

765
00:42:29,360 --> 00:42:31,680
Speaker 3: where you're trying to say, well, what would people like

766
00:42:31,719 --> 00:42:33,759
Speaker 3: to hear me say? Yeah, but I don't want that

767
00:42:33,920 --> 00:42:36,640
Speaker 3: time to think about it. I don't want to because

768
00:42:36,760 --> 00:42:39,120
Speaker 3: I think you would naturally do that. So I've never

769
00:42:39,680 --> 00:42:42,120
Speaker 3: wanted the questions upfront. Even when I was doing the

770
00:42:42,120 --> 00:42:44,880
Speaker 3: show and there were PR people from the network that

771
00:42:44,960 --> 00:42:48,480
Speaker 3: get in between the interviews, they wanted the questions because

772
00:42:48,480 --> 00:42:50,600
Speaker 3: that's the PR person's job, and I'd still be like,

773
00:42:50,719 --> 00:42:53,319
Speaker 3: I want to see it. I'm not interested. Yeah, Like,

774
00:42:53,400 --> 00:42:56,680
Speaker 3: don't show me the questions because it's rare.

775
00:42:56,840 --> 00:42:59,000
Speaker 1: It's rare for people to not want to see quest.

776
00:42:58,920 --> 00:43:03,160
Speaker 2: Really, absolutely, I find it. I just find it.

777
00:43:03,239 --> 00:43:07,520
Speaker 3: Well, if you if you know deeply your subject, why

778
00:43:07,520 --> 00:43:09,240
Speaker 3: would you need to know the questions?

779
00:43:09,320 --> 00:43:12,360
Speaker 1: I fully I'm with you, like I I will always

780
00:43:12,600 --> 00:43:15,000
Speaker 1: when the subject is you so like, and I think

781
00:43:15,000 --> 00:43:17,520
Speaker 1: you lose the magic of never having heard that in

782
00:43:17,560 --> 00:43:20,560
Speaker 1: that moment ever before, Like, if you know everything that's coming,

783
00:43:20,640 --> 00:43:23,239
Speaker 1: then yeah, it's almost like your brain gets in the way.

784
00:43:23,280 --> 00:43:24,880
Speaker 1: You just want to be in the moment, answer it

785
00:43:24,920 --> 00:43:26,360
Speaker 1: honestly and whenever comes comes.

786
00:43:26,520 --> 00:43:28,799
Speaker 3: Yeah, I think so, and I like, you know, I

787
00:43:28,880 --> 00:43:30,680
Speaker 3: just feel like if you do get it in the

788
00:43:30,719 --> 00:43:35,560
Speaker 3: moment like this, you're going to answer you know. You

789
00:43:35,840 --> 00:43:38,719
Speaker 3: one thing that like, I get asked this often the

790
00:43:38,760 --> 00:43:42,480
Speaker 3: same questions, and I think that, you know, I try

791
00:43:42,600 --> 00:43:47,759
Speaker 3: to to make sure that I'm either further developing the

792
00:43:47,840 --> 00:43:52,640
Speaker 3: answer to that question or you know, like but that

793
00:43:52,840 --> 00:43:55,640
Speaker 3: is by being or even shortening it like I did before.

794
00:43:55,680 --> 00:43:57,000
Speaker 3: I was like, I'm not going to tell that whole story.

795
00:43:57,000 --> 00:43:58,759
Speaker 3: I'll shorten it because if people want to hear it,

796
00:43:58,800 --> 00:44:00,520
Speaker 3: they can what the show.

797
00:44:00,600 --> 00:44:01,719
Speaker 2: But I don't know.

798
00:44:01,800 --> 00:44:05,800
Speaker 3: I do feel like there is a real beauty and

799
00:44:05,880 --> 00:44:07,719
Speaker 3: not knowing it means I've got nothing to think about

800
00:44:07,800 --> 00:44:09,600
Speaker 3: before we do it, because it's going.

801
00:44:09,520 --> 00:44:11,640
Speaker 2: To be what it's going to be and I'm ready.

802
00:44:12,960 --> 00:44:16,800
Speaker 1: I like that. Yeah, I really wanted to chat to

803
00:44:16,880 --> 00:44:20,920
Speaker 1: you quickly about co parenting. It feels like from the

804
00:44:21,000 --> 00:44:23,759
Speaker 1: outside that you guys nail it. And you've got a

805
00:44:23,760 --> 00:44:27,560
Speaker 1: little legend of a daughter who is fearless.

806
00:44:27,719 --> 00:44:31,360
Speaker 3: She is fearless. What she was doing before was spectacular,

807
00:44:32,400 --> 00:44:38,840
Speaker 3: the trustful, amazing, turning it into a trust jump. So, like,

808
00:44:39,000 --> 00:44:40,879
Speaker 3: I guess and this is probably a two prong question,

809
00:44:40,920 --> 00:44:46,040
Speaker 3: but like, what's the challenge? What do you love about it?

810
00:44:46,080 --> 00:44:47,960
Speaker 3: Like I imagine it's a moving.

811
00:44:49,480 --> 00:44:49,680
Speaker 1: Thing.

812
00:44:50,840 --> 00:44:53,640
Speaker 2: I mean, I think that being parents is a hard job.

813
00:44:53,880 --> 00:44:55,960
Speaker 3: So you know, you've got two different people with two

814
00:44:55,960 --> 00:44:58,799
Speaker 3: different upbringings, and you've got a child that you need

815
00:44:58,840 --> 00:45:03,040
Speaker 3: to find the best of each of you, the best

816
00:45:03,120 --> 00:45:04,759
Speaker 3: of each of how you were brought up, and you

817
00:45:04,840 --> 00:45:09,160
Speaker 3: need to then hopefully bring that to the child's life.

818
00:45:09,160 --> 00:45:10,839
Speaker 3: You need to be able to communicate with the other

819
00:45:10,920 --> 00:45:17,319
Speaker 3: parents to show them where you know. And this goes

820
00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:21,319
Speaker 3: both ways where perhaps their conditioning or their parenting style

821
00:45:21,400 --> 00:45:25,040
Speaker 3: could do with some work, and you must you must

822
00:45:26,000 --> 00:45:30,040
Speaker 3: communicate in order to keep improving this service that we're

823
00:45:30,040 --> 00:45:33,360
Speaker 3: providing to our child. And the service for the child

824
00:45:33,480 --> 00:45:36,200
Speaker 3: is we've brought you into the world. We need to

825
00:45:36,400 --> 00:45:41,400
Speaker 3: support you, feed you, make you as resilient as possible,

826
00:45:41,920 --> 00:45:45,120
Speaker 3: support you emotionally until you tell us to get fucked

827
00:45:45,160 --> 00:45:48,799
Speaker 3: one day. And that's our job to that point, you know.

828
00:45:48,880 --> 00:45:54,759
Speaker 3: And so for a start recognizing that our children aren't

829
00:45:54,800 --> 00:45:58,360
Speaker 3: there for us, we're there for them, and we need

830
00:45:58,400 --> 00:46:01,000
Speaker 3: to grow and learn into the role because you know,

831
00:46:01,239 --> 00:46:05,600
Speaker 3: probably no one's brought up perfectly, and so that's a

832
00:46:05,640 --> 00:46:09,040
Speaker 3: big part of the first thing of understanding what is

833
00:46:09,080 --> 00:46:11,879
Speaker 3: the role of a parent and how you should work

834
00:46:11,920 --> 00:46:14,759
Speaker 3: with the other parent, because if it's you versus the

835
00:46:14,840 --> 00:46:18,640
Speaker 3: other parent, the child is in trouble. You know, if

836
00:46:18,719 --> 00:46:21,560
Speaker 3: the child is there for you and your gratification, the

837
00:46:21,640 --> 00:46:25,640
Speaker 3: child is in trouble. So it's important to first establish

838
00:46:25,760 --> 00:46:28,759
Speaker 3: that we have a job and that job is for

839
00:46:28,840 --> 00:46:31,360
Speaker 3: both of us to do. And when you work that

840
00:46:31,440 --> 00:46:33,520
Speaker 3: out and you're comfortable in it, then you can sit

841
00:46:33,600 --> 00:46:35,640
Speaker 3: down Like Ellie and I sat down last night to

842
00:46:35,680 --> 00:46:37,560
Speaker 3: talk about some things the Rockies. She sat there on

843
00:46:37,600 --> 00:46:39,520
Speaker 3: the couch and we talked about some things that we

844
00:46:39,600 --> 00:46:41,080
Speaker 3: need to, you know.

845
00:46:41,040 --> 00:46:44,799
Speaker 2: To address and that we could do better. And we

846
00:46:44,880 --> 00:46:45,560
Speaker 2: regularly do this.

847
00:46:45,640 --> 00:46:47,759
Speaker 3: It's not set times, but we will just be like, hey,

848
00:46:47,960 --> 00:46:51,720
Speaker 3: you know, her behavior wasn't great in this situation, let's

849
00:46:51,800 --> 00:46:54,359
Speaker 3: talk about it. How do we talk to her, what's

850
00:46:54,400 --> 00:46:56,399
Speaker 3: the best way to curb it? Or she's not eating

851
00:46:56,400 --> 00:46:58,839
Speaker 3: as many vegetables lately, like let's you know, so there's

852
00:46:58,880 --> 00:47:01,759
Speaker 3: lots of things, or she's got a friend and we're

853
00:47:01,800 --> 00:47:04,160
Speaker 3: not sure about the friend's influence on her, what do

854
00:47:04,239 --> 00:47:06,360
Speaker 3: we you know, So there's lots of things that we

855
00:47:06,400 --> 00:47:08,680
Speaker 3: have to come to discuss because again, our service is

856
00:47:08,719 --> 00:47:14,080
Speaker 3: to provide, you know, a protection for our child and

857
00:47:14,120 --> 00:47:17,200
Speaker 3: support and all these things. So I think when you

858
00:47:17,280 --> 00:47:21,640
Speaker 3: establish that, then the idea of co parenting becomes a

859
00:47:21,680 --> 00:47:25,400
Speaker 3: lot easier because it's a cooperative thing that if we

860
00:47:25,440 --> 00:47:29,200
Speaker 3: do it well, we will benefit tremendously. We will have

861
00:47:29,239 --> 00:47:31,719
Speaker 3: a child that grows up that doesn't need to get

862
00:47:31,760 --> 00:47:32,680
Speaker 3: over their childhood.

863
00:47:32,719 --> 00:47:33,520
Speaker 2: And that's a big thing.

864
00:47:33,800 --> 00:47:37,920
Speaker 3: I know many people who spend most of their lives

865
00:47:37,960 --> 00:47:39,080
Speaker 3: healing from their childhood.

866
00:47:39,960 --> 00:47:41,759
Speaker 2: And so for me, that.

867
00:47:41,880 --> 00:47:48,320
Speaker 3: Is really the core, top pillar of importance for Rockies

868
00:47:48,440 --> 00:47:53,279
Speaker 3: that life will be hard and it will be beautiful

869
00:47:53,400 --> 00:47:58,040
Speaker 3: and everywhere in between. And what I hope and we'll

870
00:47:58,080 --> 00:48:00,359
Speaker 3: find out one day if we get it right, that

871
00:48:00,400 --> 00:48:02,080
Speaker 3: she isn't in therapy.

872
00:48:03,480 --> 00:48:06,279
Speaker 2: Because of us, and.

873
00:48:07,719 --> 00:48:11,480
Speaker 3: Because we didn't we weren't together, and we fought or

874
00:48:12,200 --> 00:48:16,719
Speaker 3: we you know, we we played you know, her off

875
00:48:17,280 --> 00:48:19,040
Speaker 3: each of us or things.

876
00:48:18,719 --> 00:48:22,879
Speaker 2: Like this or common stuff. It's super common, for sure.

877
00:48:22,920 --> 00:48:25,520
Speaker 3: And then what happens is that then those children end

878
00:48:25,600 --> 00:48:28,920
Speaker 3: up paying for the parents' choices and and you see,

879
00:48:28,960 --> 00:48:33,799
Speaker 3: then the child spends their life getting over the behavior

880
00:48:33,840 --> 00:48:36,359
Speaker 3: and takes on some of these behaviors you know, can

881
00:48:36,400 --> 00:48:41,080
Speaker 3: become difficult in relationships and all sorts of things. So

882
00:48:41,080 --> 00:48:44,000
Speaker 3: so really that's the aim is to you know, by

883
00:48:44,040 --> 00:48:48,040
Speaker 3: the time she's you know, in her late teens or twenties,

884
00:48:48,280 --> 00:48:51,280
Speaker 3: sure she'll go through plenty of things that we can't control,

885
00:48:51,320 --> 00:48:54,680
Speaker 3: but we can control that that she doesn't look and

886
00:48:54,719 --> 00:48:59,479
Speaker 3: go I've got to I got to recover from the

887
00:48:59,520 --> 00:49:02,479
Speaker 3: behavior of my parents. So with all that in mind,

888
00:49:02,600 --> 00:49:04,600
Speaker 3: if you if you have them as your values, and

889
00:49:04,600 --> 00:49:10,359
Speaker 3: Ellie and I I believe share those pillars, then then

890
00:49:10,560 --> 00:49:14,319
Speaker 3: we have no choice but to survive each other and

891
00:49:14,360 --> 00:49:16,799
Speaker 3: get along and be good to each other. Because if

892
00:49:16,840 --> 00:49:20,239
Speaker 3: we can't do that, then the idea of being a

893
00:49:20,239 --> 00:49:23,319
Speaker 3: burden on our child becomes very real.

894
00:49:24,080 --> 00:49:25,760
Speaker 2: And so when you have.

895
00:49:25,719 --> 00:49:29,440
Speaker 3: Those priorities, then you know our job is to get

896
00:49:29,480 --> 00:49:32,239
Speaker 3: along and not to pretend to get along, because it's

897
00:49:32,320 --> 00:49:35,040
Speaker 3: very hard to do as well. You know, my job

898
00:49:35,160 --> 00:49:39,919
Speaker 3: as as you know, I see, you know, the mother

899
00:49:40,000 --> 00:49:43,560
Speaker 3: of my child as my family. I even see her

900
00:49:43,600 --> 00:49:47,080
Speaker 3: own family as my family. I will look after Ellie

901
00:49:47,239 --> 00:49:50,520
Speaker 3: and I do that to to sort of well beyond

902
00:49:50,560 --> 00:49:54,719
Speaker 3: the norm in terms of financial support and care and

903
00:49:54,840 --> 00:49:57,880
Speaker 3: there to listen to her if she's in trouble and

904
00:49:57,560 --> 00:50:01,520
Speaker 3: and all the things that that support her as a mother.

905
00:50:01,760 --> 00:50:03,960
Speaker 1: Well, you feel like a team. You two feel like

906
00:50:04,000 --> 00:50:04,319
Speaker 1: a team.

907
00:50:04,360 --> 00:50:05,320
Speaker 3: We are a team.

908
00:50:05,440 --> 00:50:05,680
Speaker 2: You know.

909
00:50:05,800 --> 00:50:08,520
Speaker 3: The truth is we're a team. Whether you're a good

910
00:50:08,600 --> 00:50:11,640
Speaker 3: team or not is the question. But we have to

911
00:50:11,640 --> 00:50:14,120
Speaker 3: be a good team. You know, it's in Ellie's interest

912
00:50:14,160 --> 00:50:17,000
Speaker 3: that I'm also doing well. She needs me to be

913
00:50:17,160 --> 00:50:19,480
Speaker 3: happy and to be healthy and to be successful in

914
00:50:19,520 --> 00:50:23,640
Speaker 3: my work, because ultimately it's going both ways. You know.

915
00:50:23,719 --> 00:50:26,600
Speaker 3: We Rocky needs to have parents who are doing well

916
00:50:26,640 --> 00:50:30,120
Speaker 3: in life, who are able to support her and each

917
00:50:30,200 --> 00:50:32,560
Speaker 3: other with the things we can offer. So if I'm sick,

918
00:50:32,640 --> 00:50:35,000
Speaker 3: Ellie needs to step up. If I need to go

919
00:50:35,040 --> 00:50:37,160
Speaker 3: away and work, Ellie needs to step up. If Ellie

920
00:50:37,560 --> 00:50:42,040
Speaker 3: needs something like Ellie works you know, similar hours to

921
00:50:42,120 --> 00:50:44,960
Speaker 3: Rocky schooling, so every day I have.

922
00:50:44,920 --> 00:50:47,240
Speaker 2: To pick her up and drop her off, and we adapt.

923
00:50:47,280 --> 00:50:51,040
Speaker 3: So my workday gets shortened by significant amounts, but we

924
00:50:51,080 --> 00:50:54,560
Speaker 3: adapt because Ellie's career is incredibly important to her to

925
00:50:54,600 --> 00:50:57,360
Speaker 3: have success, So it's not a battle. So I become

926
00:50:57,719 --> 00:51:00,320
Speaker 3: more of the mother role in that. And still, you know,

927
00:51:00,360 --> 00:51:01,719
Speaker 3: I have to work around that.

928
00:51:01,880 --> 00:51:03,080
Speaker 2: And then when I.

929
00:51:03,040 --> 00:51:05,120
Speaker 3: Need to go overseas to do work for a bit,

930
00:51:05,120 --> 00:51:08,000
Speaker 3: then Ellie has to adjust, you know. So really what

931
00:51:08,040 --> 00:51:11,439
Speaker 3: we need to do is be fluid and not dig

932
00:51:11,440 --> 00:51:15,239
Speaker 3: our heels in to in order to go. I'm not

933
00:51:15,280 --> 00:51:18,120
Speaker 3: just fighting for my own needs. I must in order

934
00:51:18,160 --> 00:51:20,919
Speaker 3: for me to have my needs met, the Rocky needs

935
00:51:20,920 --> 00:51:24,399
Speaker 3: hers met and Ellie needs hers. So so whereas it's

936
00:51:24,400 --> 00:51:28,440
Speaker 3: every man for themselves, everyone suffers. So I say to

937
00:51:28,520 --> 00:51:34,279
Speaker 3: people that, you know, not getting along feels easy and

938
00:51:34,320 --> 00:51:37,760
Speaker 3: it feels justified, and typically people agree with you.

939
00:51:37,760 --> 00:51:39,000
Speaker 2: You know, you're not with her anymore.

940
00:51:39,080 --> 00:51:41,799
Speaker 3: You shouldn't do this, shouldn't do that, She's just using you,

941
00:51:42,040 --> 00:51:45,040
Speaker 3: or you know the different things people say, right, But

942
00:51:45,160 --> 00:51:47,200
Speaker 3: what happens is if Ellie's not.

943
00:51:47,200 --> 00:51:50,640
Speaker 2: Happy and Rocky's not happy, you're not happy.

944
00:51:50,920 --> 00:51:53,799
Speaker 3: Then when I need the support I need, I don't

945
00:51:53,880 --> 00:51:57,960
Speaker 3: have it, and vice versa. So when we're all getting along,

946
00:51:58,960 --> 00:52:04,640
Speaker 3: the benefits are way outweigh the any negatives. And I

947
00:52:04,680 --> 00:52:07,560
Speaker 3: see all the time, we know where there are parents

948
00:52:07,560 --> 00:52:10,360
Speaker 3: that have split, there are single mothers that are absolutely

949
00:52:10,400 --> 00:52:13,160
Speaker 3: struggling well, the dads aren't struggling, and that's a norm,

950
00:52:14,120 --> 00:52:16,960
Speaker 3: and it's a really sad norm because what the men

951
00:52:17,080 --> 00:52:21,440
Speaker 3: don't realize is if you support that woman, then she

952
00:52:21,480 --> 00:52:24,800
Speaker 3: will be a better mother. You will have more time,

953
00:52:25,280 --> 00:52:29,640
Speaker 3: meaningful time with your child, more coo cooperatively, more flexibility.

954
00:52:29,680 --> 00:52:31,960
Speaker 3: You will ultimately have a child that will grow up

955
00:52:32,680 --> 00:52:35,560
Speaker 3: not needing to get over their childhood. And this is

956
00:52:36,120 --> 00:52:40,640
Speaker 3: what causes generational trauma, where you know you didn't have

957
00:52:40,680 --> 00:52:44,160
Speaker 3: a good upbringing and now you've created one for your child,

958
00:52:44,920 --> 00:52:48,000
Speaker 3: and then if they don't somehow heal from it, they'll

959
00:52:48,000 --> 00:52:50,360
Speaker 3: create it for their child and it just keeps going

960
00:52:50,360 --> 00:52:50,759
Speaker 3: and going.

961
00:52:50,840 --> 00:52:54,120
Speaker 1: Well, that was my next question, like how can people

962
00:52:54,200 --> 00:52:56,120
Speaker 1: heal from that kind of stuff because sometimes it's so

963
00:52:56,400 --> 00:53:00,680
Speaker 1: ingrained in who you are and your value system and

964
00:53:00,719 --> 00:53:04,439
Speaker 1: how you validate yourself or get validation is that through

965
00:53:04,560 --> 00:53:09,080
Speaker 1: like processing it through mental health and like it's a

966
00:53:09,360 --> 00:53:11,640
Speaker 1: it's a beast. But like when I first started seeing

967
00:53:11,640 --> 00:53:15,040
Speaker 1: a therapist seven years ago, people judged me and thought

968
00:53:15,080 --> 00:53:17,880
Speaker 1: something was wrong with me because I wanted.

969
00:53:17,640 --> 00:53:19,160
Speaker 2: To work on stuff to get better.

970
00:53:19,480 --> 00:53:20,879
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just wanted to work on stuff that i'd

971
00:53:20,880 --> 00:53:22,880
Speaker 1: held onto for no particular.

972
00:53:22,480 --> 00:53:24,279
Speaker 2: Like it you want to be better?

973
00:53:24,440 --> 00:53:26,239
Speaker 1: Yeah, so that you know what I mean. I think

974
00:53:26,280 --> 00:53:30,040
Speaker 1: it does take like and that commitment to the work

975
00:53:30,120 --> 00:53:33,319
Speaker 1: like and I know like before becoming a parent, I

976
00:53:33,320 --> 00:53:36,200
Speaker 1: would want to be so have done so much work

977
00:53:36,239 --> 00:53:37,560
Speaker 1: on myself to know that I'm like.

978
00:53:37,680 --> 00:53:40,200
Speaker 3: It helps because the otherwise you will have to do

979
00:53:40,239 --> 00:53:43,000
Speaker 3: it anyway, because children force you to grow if you

980
00:53:43,040 --> 00:53:44,640
Speaker 3: want to be good at it, There's no.

981
00:53:44,480 --> 00:53:45,279
Speaker 2: Doubt about that.

982
00:53:45,960 --> 00:53:50,080
Speaker 3: But you know, I think that the first thing is is, yes,

983
00:53:50,120 --> 00:53:56,840
Speaker 3: we have our childhoods, and you know, and often without

984
00:53:56,880 --> 00:54:02,160
Speaker 3: any malice, even from our parents, not perfect and because

985
00:54:02,200 --> 00:54:06,080
Speaker 3: of this generational trauma and people being brought up in

986
00:54:06,120 --> 00:54:09,000
Speaker 3: different times and all that sort of stuff. I think

987
00:54:09,040 --> 00:54:16,200
Speaker 3: that when you prioritize your child living a life that

988
00:54:16,239 --> 00:54:20,399
Speaker 3: they don't need to get over their childhood, you've done

989
00:54:20,480 --> 00:54:24,200
Speaker 3: the most important part of that. Because once you do that,

990
00:54:24,320 --> 00:54:27,880
Speaker 3: you can start to look at yourself and go or

991
00:54:27,880 --> 00:54:30,520
Speaker 3: what do I need to change for that? You know,

992
00:54:31,200 --> 00:54:37,680
Speaker 3: because children need enormous love and acceptance and tolerance. They

993
00:54:37,680 --> 00:54:42,279
Speaker 3: are going to make mistakes. Adults make mistakes, so to

994
00:54:42,360 --> 00:54:45,160
Speaker 3: expect children. And one of the things that a lot

995
00:54:45,160 --> 00:54:48,520
Speaker 3: of adults do, and this is again, the generational trauma

996
00:54:49,120 --> 00:54:51,560
Speaker 3: thing is that we expect children to behave better than

997
00:54:51,600 --> 00:54:56,560
Speaker 3: adults pretend to behave, And then what we do is,

998
00:54:56,600 --> 00:55:00,840
Speaker 3: adults we drink to get back to behaving children. So

999
00:55:01,320 --> 00:55:04,359
Speaker 3: adults are so desperate to get back to childhood and

1000
00:55:04,400 --> 00:55:07,160
Speaker 3: we use drugs to do it, alcohol and the like,

1001
00:55:07,680 --> 00:55:10,440
Speaker 3: because on a Friday night, we want to feel like children,

1002
00:55:10,480 --> 00:55:13,839
Speaker 3: although we're beating the child out of the child and

1003
00:55:13,880 --> 00:55:16,400
Speaker 3: saying they need to somehow behave at a level that

1004
00:55:16,920 --> 00:55:23,360
Speaker 3: resembles what adults literally don't do. You know, adults nowhere

1005
00:55:23,440 --> 00:55:25,520
Speaker 3: near as well behaved as most.

1006
00:55:25,400 --> 00:55:28,600
Speaker 1: Children, and we lose our sense of play that kids

1007
00:55:28,600 --> 00:55:30,839
Speaker 1: are so and kids are so present, they know what

1008
00:55:30,880 --> 00:55:33,160
Speaker 1: they want, they're so clear about it in.

1009
00:55:33,040 --> 00:55:35,839
Speaker 3: That they emote, you know, and we get mad at

1010
00:55:35,840 --> 00:55:38,240
Speaker 3: them promoting. But then we wonder why we need value

1011
00:55:38,239 --> 00:55:44,320
Speaker 3: and antidepressants and alcohol because we can't emote. So whereas

1012
00:55:44,360 --> 00:55:47,360
Speaker 3: we then scold a child for the tantrum or for

1013
00:55:47,440 --> 00:55:49,239
Speaker 3: the bad mood or whatever, but it's like, well, no,

1014
00:55:49,520 --> 00:55:51,600
Speaker 3: they're experiencing big emotion and.

1015
00:55:51,600 --> 00:55:53,560
Speaker 2: They're connected and they don't have beer.

1016
00:55:53,920 --> 00:55:57,040
Speaker 1: Yeah, you know, they're fully connected to where they are

1017
00:55:57,080 --> 00:56:01,520
Speaker 1: in that moment in time. You know, I've trained heaps

1018
00:56:01,520 --> 00:56:03,239
Speaker 1: in acting school, and the first thing they try to

1019
00:56:03,239 --> 00:56:05,080
Speaker 1: do is to teach you to be a kid again. Yeah,

1020
00:56:05,120 --> 00:56:08,719
Speaker 1: and it's like it's like, drop the inhibition, drop the judgment,

1021
00:56:09,040 --> 00:56:11,400
Speaker 1: be present after what you want and play.

1022
00:56:11,680 --> 00:56:12,680
Speaker 2: Yeah and so.

1023
00:56:13,280 --> 00:56:17,680
Speaker 3: But a lot of parents are literally training it out

1024
00:56:17,680 --> 00:56:20,880
Speaker 3: of children because it got stolen from them too. So

1025
00:56:21,600 --> 00:56:24,879
Speaker 3: I think that it's like, if you are someone who

1026
00:56:25,800 --> 00:56:29,200
Speaker 3: recognizes that those things got taken from you, you don't

1027
00:56:29,239 --> 00:56:31,240
Speaker 3: take them from your child. What you do is, instead

1028
00:56:31,280 --> 00:56:34,280
Speaker 3: of teaching your child to be like the asshole you've become,

1029
00:56:35,320 --> 00:56:38,680
Speaker 3: you let them teach you to have fun again. You

1030
00:56:38,719 --> 00:56:42,440
Speaker 3: recognize that I'm not just here to boss my child around.

1031
00:56:43,160 --> 00:56:45,360
Speaker 2: I'm here to let my child teach me.

1032
00:56:46,320 --> 00:56:51,840
Speaker 3: And that's an incredible realization to be like, this is

1033
00:56:51,880 --> 00:56:55,440
Speaker 3: a two way street. Because the child is behaving in

1034
00:56:55,520 --> 00:56:59,400
Speaker 3: ways that I can't do without a bottle of wine.

1035
00:57:00,360 --> 00:57:02,120
Speaker 3: So how does the child teach me?

1036
00:57:02,200 --> 00:57:02,359
Speaker 1: Oh?

1037
00:57:02,440 --> 00:57:05,280
Speaker 3: Yeah, I mean it's incredible. So because all their teaching,

1038
00:57:05,320 --> 00:57:08,040
Speaker 3: they don't even have to try. They're just being what

1039
00:57:08,080 --> 00:57:10,520
Speaker 3: we were meant to be, which is free and happy

1040
00:57:10,600 --> 00:57:15,200
Speaker 3: and able to emote when necessary. I'm upset, so I cry, well,

1041
00:57:15,239 --> 00:57:19,160
Speaker 3: that's fine. You know, we were meant to emote, Otherwise

1042
00:57:19,240 --> 00:57:21,000
Speaker 3: we wouldn't be able to if we weren't meant to.

1043
00:57:21,840 --> 00:57:27,000
Speaker 3: And so that's why looking at the parent child dynamic

1044
00:57:27,640 --> 00:57:30,480
Speaker 3: and going, I'm not here to be this human's boss.

1045
00:57:31,560 --> 00:57:34,920
Speaker 3: I am certainly here to keep this human safe, but

1046
00:57:35,040 --> 00:57:38,720
Speaker 3: also to allow it enough enough freedom.

1047
00:57:38,360 --> 00:57:41,400
Speaker 2: To learn safety and make those choices.

1048
00:57:42,200 --> 00:57:46,400
Speaker 3: And I'm here to make sure this child feels confident

1049
00:57:47,120 --> 00:57:50,880
Speaker 3: to be a child. So you said before even the

1050
00:57:50,920 --> 00:57:55,280
Speaker 3: confidence I have to be myself with what I do, well.

1051
00:57:55,000 --> 00:57:57,520
Speaker 2: That's innate to a child completely.

1052
00:57:57,600 --> 00:58:02,200
Speaker 3: And you said that that's weird to it's rare, it's

1053
00:58:02,320 --> 00:58:03,080
Speaker 3: rare to see.

1054
00:58:03,240 --> 00:58:07,040
Speaker 2: Well, but that's the ability of the child to just

1055
00:58:07,120 --> 00:58:09,320
Speaker 2: be who they are naturally, naturally.

1056
00:58:09,840 --> 00:58:12,320
Speaker 3: So we lose that because it gets beaten out of

1057
00:58:12,400 --> 00:58:15,200
Speaker 3: us and criticized, and you know.

1058
00:58:15,360 --> 00:58:18,400
Speaker 1: That, you get boxed in more tighter and tighter and tighter.

1059
00:58:18,160 --> 00:58:21,480
Speaker 3: Like totally yeah, and like children are meant to be naughty,

1060
00:58:21,640 --> 00:58:23,680
Speaker 3: and you see, like if you think about a child

1061
00:58:24,080 --> 00:58:26,600
Speaker 3: and the naughtiness and the playfulness, we'll sit around at

1062
00:58:26,600 --> 00:58:30,800
Speaker 3: a dinner party with fifteen forty year olds and have

1063
00:58:30,840 --> 00:58:33,600
Speaker 3: a bottle of wine each and it's children.

1064
00:58:33,840 --> 00:58:36,720
Speaker 2: Yeah, oh wild, it's children.

1065
00:58:36,800 --> 00:58:40,320
Speaker 3: So like, but we need wine to get there? I

1066
00:58:40,360 --> 00:58:44,920
Speaker 3: don't obviously, but I don't think. But that's the reality.

1067
00:58:44,440 --> 00:58:45,880
Speaker 2: Of what we've done.

1068
00:58:45,960 --> 00:58:50,720
Speaker 3: Whereas you put a table of fifteen six year olds there,

1069
00:58:52,320 --> 00:58:56,640
Speaker 3: they don't need wine to have a food fight, you know, like,

1070
00:58:57,000 --> 00:59:01,160
Speaker 3: they don't need wine to let loose and be laughing

1071
00:59:01,240 --> 00:59:04,160
Speaker 3: and being funny and silly and don't need any of that.

1072
00:59:04,320 --> 00:59:06,760
Speaker 3: So there, And the beauty is if you don't kill it,

1073
00:59:07,360 --> 00:59:10,680
Speaker 3: over time, they're able to use it when they want to.

1074
00:59:10,760 --> 00:59:13,680
Speaker 3: Because obviously there's a time and a place for different behavior,

1075
00:59:13,720 --> 00:59:17,880
Speaker 3: and that's true. And children initially don't know time and place.

1076
00:59:17,920 --> 00:59:22,360
Speaker 3: They just are practicing all these beautiful human potentials in behavior,

1077
00:59:22,400 --> 00:59:24,800
Speaker 3: and then in over time they learn time and place

1078
00:59:25,440 --> 00:59:29,760
Speaker 3: and that's okay. So so again I feel like, just

1079
00:59:30,200 --> 00:59:32,560
Speaker 3: I know, we started off with co parenting, but.

1080
00:59:32,480 --> 00:59:36,320
Speaker 2: It's it's all these beliefs that we.

1081
00:59:36,200 --> 00:59:39,520
Speaker 3: Need to create this environment and learn from our child

1082
00:59:39,680 --> 00:59:44,200
Speaker 3: and respect her, and and by respecting her, that's where

1083
00:59:44,200 --> 00:59:47,280
Speaker 3: we get the respect. So I very much noticed the

1084
00:59:47,280 --> 00:59:50,240
Speaker 3: more I let her do, the more she listens to

1085
00:59:50,280 --> 00:59:54,200
Speaker 3: me when I need to say not this time.

1086
00:59:54,440 --> 00:59:55,320
Speaker 1: I saw that today.

1087
00:59:55,600 --> 00:59:57,800
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, it's helping off. That's right.

1088
00:59:58,120 --> 01:00:00,400
Speaker 3: She and that, but I did it in a way

1089
01:00:00,440 --> 01:00:04,280
Speaker 3: that was so for reference, my daughter was trying to

1090
01:00:04,360 --> 01:00:07,480
Speaker 3: jump off something that was probably a bit dangerous, but

1091
01:00:07,520 --> 01:00:10,800
Speaker 3: I've taught her over years to be gutsy, and she

1092
01:00:10,840 --> 01:00:12,320
Speaker 3: was going to jump off something and it was just

1093
01:00:12,360 --> 01:00:15,480
Speaker 3: a little bit high, and it was quite it's quite high.

1094
01:00:15,520 --> 01:00:20,360
Speaker 3: It's sort of over two meters high and on the floorboard.

1095
01:00:20,040 --> 01:00:23,760
Speaker 3: And I said to her, it's not a good idea,

1096
01:00:23,800 --> 01:00:28,240
Speaker 3: and I explained why, and I didn't get angry at her.

1097
01:00:28,360 --> 01:00:31,080
Speaker 3: I didn't raise my voice. I just gave her reason

1098
01:00:31,760 --> 01:00:34,080
Speaker 3: and she listened. But it took her a bit. You

1099
01:00:34,120 --> 01:00:36,480
Speaker 3: could tell that she thought it was a good idea

1100
01:00:36,560 --> 01:00:39,120
Speaker 3: and I didn't. But ultimately she knows. And I said,

1101
01:00:39,160 --> 01:00:41,880
Speaker 3: actually said to her, you know that I'm all for

1102
01:00:41,960 --> 01:00:46,200
Speaker 3: you doing crazy things, but I'm telling you this one

1103
01:00:46,640 --> 01:00:49,840
Speaker 3: is a bit dangerous, and you're best not And she listened.

1104
01:00:49,880 --> 01:00:52,280
Speaker 3: And and that's how I treated. I don't be like

1105
01:00:52,560 --> 01:00:56,560
Speaker 3: i'm your father, you must I be like I'm your friend.

1106
01:00:57,600 --> 01:01:00,960
Speaker 3: It feels like that I'm your friend, care about you.

1107
01:01:01,040 --> 01:01:03,360
Speaker 3: I'm not telling you not to do something for the

1108
01:01:03,440 --> 01:01:07,240
Speaker 3: sake of it, and I tell you because I care.

1109
01:01:07,640 --> 01:01:11,439
Speaker 3: And so what we have is a mutual respect because

1110
01:01:11,480 --> 01:01:14,280
Speaker 3: she can tell me things too, and I will listen.

1111
01:01:14,320 --> 01:01:15,400
Speaker 2: She's very smart.

1112
01:01:15,120 --> 01:01:18,400
Speaker 3: Actually, so so all of that, you know, all of

1113
01:01:18,400 --> 01:01:20,960
Speaker 3: that attitude, which you know Ellie and I both share,

1114
01:01:21,800 --> 01:01:27,439
Speaker 3: ultimately helps us be good co parents because of how

1115
01:01:27,480 --> 01:01:31,400
Speaker 3: important it is, this this wonderful little child.

1116
01:01:31,800 --> 01:01:33,680
Speaker 2: You know, I will feel.

1117
01:01:35,600 --> 01:01:39,800
Speaker 3: Failed as a parent if she's in therapy trying to

1118
01:01:39,800 --> 01:01:44,880
Speaker 3: get over me being anything other than a good dad.

1119
01:01:46,240 --> 01:01:49,440
Speaker 3: I'd be very disappointed in myself, you know. And you

1120
01:01:49,480 --> 01:01:53,400
Speaker 3: know that she doesn't get yelled at. She almost never

1121
01:01:53,440 --> 01:01:55,440
Speaker 3: gets in trouble. You know, we just talked to her.

1122
01:01:55,520 --> 01:01:58,840
Speaker 3: She does something wrong, she's six years old. She just

1123
01:01:58,880 --> 01:02:03,480
Speaker 3: needs to be explained, not in trouble. And it's important

1124
01:02:03,560 --> 01:02:07,840
Speaker 3: that if we you know, if you if you get

1125
01:02:08,200 --> 01:02:10,960
Speaker 3: in trouble for something that where you didn't realize it

1126
01:02:11,000 --> 01:02:14,400
Speaker 3: was wrong, because these little people aren't malicious, then what

1127
01:02:14,480 --> 01:02:17,560
Speaker 3: happens is then they resent you because it was just

1128
01:02:17,680 --> 01:02:21,000
Speaker 3: an accident, they didn't mean to But then you've thrown

1129
01:02:23,000 --> 01:02:26,680
Speaker 3: your full adult weight at them, and all that happens

1130
01:02:26,720 --> 01:02:27,680
Speaker 3: is they resent you.

1131
01:02:28,400 --> 01:02:29,560
Speaker 2: They don't feel respected.

1132
01:02:30,680 --> 01:02:33,320
Speaker 3: But they know that they have to impress you in

1133
01:02:33,360 --> 01:02:35,640
Speaker 3: their lives because you're the roof over their head and

1134
01:02:35,640 --> 01:02:38,080
Speaker 3: the food and the pocket money, whatever, So they learn

1135
01:02:38,160 --> 01:02:41,400
Speaker 3: to adapt to please you. So that's when you start

1136
01:02:41,440 --> 01:02:44,320
Speaker 3: to not get the feedback from your child that's important,

1137
01:02:44,440 --> 01:02:46,760
Speaker 3: Like when they need to come to you because they've

1138
01:02:46,800 --> 01:02:49,080
Speaker 3: made a mistake and they need to come to you

1139
01:02:49,120 --> 01:02:51,760
Speaker 3: because they don't understand something about their health or their

1140
01:02:52,280 --> 01:02:54,760
Speaker 3: you know, or whatever it is, or they or someone's

1141
01:02:54,800 --> 01:02:58,520
Speaker 3: bullying them or whatever, because they're afraid of your reaction.

1142
01:02:59,480 --> 01:03:04,080
Speaker 3: And so so again, we can't do these things well

1143
01:03:04,120 --> 01:03:05,040
Speaker 3: if we don't get along.

1144
01:03:05,640 --> 01:03:08,880
Speaker 1: I love that you talked about just them with Rocky

1145
01:03:08,960 --> 01:03:12,880
Speaker 1: having respect. But what I also like to really enjoy

1146
01:03:12,920 --> 01:03:15,320
Speaker 1: witnessing is it's so clear that you and Alie have

1147
01:03:15,640 --> 01:03:19,600
Speaker 1: a beautiful respect of one another as human beings. Yes,

1148
01:03:19,640 --> 01:03:23,040
Speaker 1: you are parents to the little legend Rocky, but like

1149
01:03:23,120 --> 01:03:28,200
Speaker 1: you can tell that you both just meet each other

1150
01:03:28,440 --> 01:03:31,360
Speaker 1: and there's a respect there and there's probably like a

1151
01:03:31,680 --> 01:03:33,280
Speaker 1: beautiful love there as well.

1152
01:03:33,400 --> 01:03:33,840
Speaker 2: Well totally.

1153
01:03:33,880 --> 01:03:36,680
Speaker 3: I mean, she's the mother of my child and we've

1154
01:03:36,680 --> 01:03:39,480
Speaker 3: had a long you know, nearly seven years. I suppose

1155
01:03:39,600 --> 01:03:44,200
Speaker 3: to get to know each other and growing together and

1156
01:03:44,400 --> 01:03:48,480
Speaker 3: improving what we do as parents together and growing our

1157
01:03:48,560 --> 01:03:53,680
Speaker 3: careers in parallel and all these you know, important things,

1158
01:03:53,720 --> 01:03:57,200
Speaker 3: and she's you know, she's the mother of my child

1159
01:03:57,240 --> 01:04:02,160
Speaker 3: I have. She has an automatic free pass as a

1160
01:04:02,200 --> 01:04:06,560
Speaker 3: person that she will always be in my life. And

1161
01:04:07,920 --> 01:04:11,560
Speaker 3: we do feel like it's like there's something that's definitely

1162
01:04:12,000 --> 01:04:17,440
Speaker 3: strong between us where when she has Rocky, I'm not

1163
01:04:17,560 --> 01:04:21,000
Speaker 3: in any way worried about Rocky, and I know that

1164
01:04:21,120 --> 01:04:24,480
Speaker 3: the same. You know, it goes both ways that we're

1165
01:04:24,520 --> 01:04:31,520
Speaker 3: one hundred percent comfortable in Rockies not physical and mental

1166
01:04:31,560 --> 01:04:33,880
Speaker 3: well being no matter which parent she's.

1167
01:04:33,680 --> 01:04:37,160
Speaker 1: With, which comes down to your ultimate goal, which is

1168
01:04:37,920 --> 01:04:43,200
Speaker 1: both of you want Rocky to be free, happy, say

1169
01:04:43,360 --> 01:04:45,600
Speaker 1: you know what I mean all those values you were

1170
01:04:45,640 --> 01:04:47,840
Speaker 1: just saying, and free to be herself yep.

1171
01:04:47,640 --> 01:04:52,600
Speaker 3: And not yelled at and supported and able to make

1172
01:04:52,680 --> 01:04:58,760
Speaker 3: mistakes and learn from them in gentle ways, and to

1173
01:04:58,960 --> 01:05:02,160
Speaker 3: practice these full traits of being human. I wanted to

1174
01:05:02,200 --> 01:05:05,400
Speaker 3: practice being a smart ass and being funny and being serious.

1175
01:05:05,480 --> 01:05:07,920
Speaker 1: She can be cheeky, she can be super cheeky. Last

1176
01:05:07,960 --> 01:05:11,160
Speaker 1: time I said goodbye to her, she goes God, yeah,

1177
01:05:11,600 --> 01:05:15,120
Speaker 1: gave it back. It was like half serpent, half flight.

1178
01:05:15,200 --> 01:05:16,720
Speaker 1: It was the coolest sound. I was like, I haven't

1179
01:05:17,040 --> 01:05:18,760
Speaker 1: got to be an animal for a little while. Like

1180
01:05:18,960 --> 01:05:21,080
Speaker 1: you just you just transform into.

1181
01:05:21,240 --> 01:05:23,600
Speaker 3: You see that world and that's what you go to

1182
01:05:23,640 --> 01:05:26,560
Speaker 3: acting class for. She just does it naturally.

1183
01:05:26,600 --> 01:05:29,160
Speaker 1: I can just hang it with Rocky and good acting class.

1184
01:05:29,200 --> 01:05:31,160
Speaker 2: Exactly that that there is teaching there.

1185
01:05:31,200 --> 01:05:33,040
Speaker 3: You could I mean in a good acting class would

1186
01:05:33,080 --> 01:05:36,840
Speaker 3: be a room full of of of vibrant five year olds.

1187
01:05:36,960 --> 01:05:40,480
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, it would be a thousand percent. Yeah, Charlie,

1188
01:05:40,520 --> 01:05:42,480
Speaker 1: I could talk to you all the way long. You're wonderful.

1189
01:05:42,720 --> 01:05:44,880
Speaker 1: I'm going to put all your details in the show notes.

1190
01:05:45,440 --> 01:05:48,200
Speaker 1: Thank you so much. I really loved chatting with you.

1191
01:05:48,480 --> 01:05:51,560
Speaker 2: No worries. Any time. Lower love it, We'll do it again.

1192
01:05:51,640 --> 01:05:58,280
Speaker 1: You're a legend. That's a wrap on another episode of

1193
01:05:58,480 --> 01:06:03,240
Speaker 1: Fearlessly Failing. As always, thank you to our guests, and

1194
01:06:03,320 --> 01:06:08,560
Speaker 1: let's continue the conversation on Instagram. I'm at Yamo Lollerberry.

1195
01:06:09,200 --> 01:06:13,320
Speaker 1: This potty my word for podcast is available on all

1196
01:06:13,440 --> 01:06:17,480
Speaker 1: streaming platforms. I'd love it if you could subscribe, rape

1197
01:06:17,520 --> 01:06:20,240
Speaker 1: and comment, and of course spread the love.