Speaker 1: Networking can sometimes feel like a dirty word. It's like
Speaker 1: the evil twin sister of making friends. But according to
Speaker 1: Business Chicks founder and global CEO Emma Isaacs, networking and
Speaker 1: making friends really the same thing. So how can we
Speaker 1: share that icky feeling so that you can embrace the
Speaker 1: fun of meeting new people? And how can we become
Speaker 1: better at listening? And what are some tasteful ways to
Speaker 1: exit a conversation. My name is doctor Amantha Imber. I'm
Speaker 1: an organizational psychologist and the founder of behavioral science consultancy Inventium.
Speaker 1: And this is how I work, a show about how
Speaker 1: to help you do your best work. What today is
Speaker 1: my favorite tip? Episode, we go back to an interview
Speaker 1: from the past and I pick out my favorite tip
Speaker 1: from that chat. In today's extract, I speak with Emma
Speaker 1: Isaacs about how we can become better at networking.
Speaker 2: I think probably the key thing of any person who
Speaker 2: wants to be a bit more charismatic or wants to
Speaker 2: be a better networker is definitely to ask more questions
Speaker 2: and to listen more than you speak. And I know
Speaker 2: that sounds really one o one, but it's so interesting
Speaker 2: that you know, of all the networking I've done over
Speaker 2: the years, and the live networking events I've been to.
Speaker 2: You see people and you say that they're very nervous
Speaker 2: and lovel anxiety, and that makes them talk more and
Speaker 2: you sort of get into this rhythm of them just talking
Speaker 2: at you, and that's the fastest way to lose someone's attention.
Speaker 2: It's the fastest way to actually turn someone off. So
Speaker 2: I would encourage anyone who wants to get better at
Speaker 2: their networking to ask more questions and listen more than
Speaker 2: they speak, and also to be comfortable with the silence.
Speaker 2: You can ask a question and if the person is
Speaker 2: considering their answer, don't feel you have to feel that void.
Speaker 2: So I always say, you know, just to feel the
Speaker 2: pause and don't be awkward there. I think the number
Speaker 2: one thing that we can order to be better at
Speaker 2: networking is to be one hundred percent present. So that
Speaker 2: means really great eye contact, it means active listening. It
Speaker 2: means not looking over the person's shoulder to see who
Speaker 2: else is walking in the room that might, you know,
Speaker 2: be a better conversationalist or whatever it is you're looking for.
Speaker 2: So I think really deeply listening is a skill that
Speaker 2: we all need to master and I think being present
Speaker 2: is the next one. And I think it's also okay
Speaker 2: to learn some skills of how to exit a conversation
Speaker 2: and how to be really clear with why you're at
Speaker 2: a networking event. So it is fine to say, hey, Matt,
Speaker 2: I really loved our chat, but I'm here to meet
Speaker 2: as many people as I can tonight. So I'm just
Speaker 2: going to give you my card if you're happy to
Speaker 2: have my details, and I'm going to go work the room.
Speaker 2: You to make a joke of it, and that's completely
Speaker 2: fine to do that as well. I think often we
Speaker 2: get stuck in these conversations at networking events where we
Speaker 2: don't know how to get out of them, and that
Speaker 2: could be really awkward. But I think I think it's
Speaker 2: about again, you know, placing the other person at ease
Speaker 2: and placing them as a central of your attention and
Speaker 2: holding a space for them. So I do it all
Speaker 2: business chicks events. Try and be very very calm myself.
Speaker 2: You know, I often say I am like a duck,
Speaker 2: like I might look like it's you know, from the surface,
Speaker 2: it looks all lovely, but underneath thinking of a million things.
Speaker 2: But I if I can calm my thoughts and take
Speaker 2: a deep breath and be with the person. Then that's
Speaker 2: a really good start. And I think also it's and
Speaker 2: if this comes with maturity as well, I think, but
Speaker 2: not worrying about what people think of you. I think
Speaker 2: we spend so much time fretting and then thinking, what
Speaker 2: is you thinking? I'm smart enough? If by saying the
Speaker 2: right things, am I you know this is good? And
Speaker 2: it just just let just try and quieten that monkey
Speaker 2: that sits on most of our shoulders and just be
Speaker 2: with the person, be present with them, ask a lot
Speaker 2: of questions, look into their eyes, and you know you'll
Speaker 2: find it becomes easier and easier. I just think a
Speaker 2: lot of people go in with this intent to kind
Speaker 2: of meet one hundred people and get a thousand business cards,
Speaker 2: and that's very stressful. Like just just going with no
Speaker 2: expectations and just try and enjoy yourself. And I think
Speaker 2: ultimately people can consense if you know your realness and
Speaker 2: your hate the word authenticity, but it's a truth here.
Speaker 2: You know, it's about showing up with a sense of
Speaker 2: purpose and say I'm here, I'm here to serve others,
Speaker 2: I'm here to connect others, I'm here to hold the space.
Speaker 2: I'm here to be calm and people will they'll read
Speaker 2: that and they won't forget you for it.
Speaker 1: I hope that you've got a tip or two that
Speaker 1: you can apply to help you feel more comfortable when
Speaker 1: you're networking and maybe bring some more joy to it
Speaker 1: rather than discomfort. And if you are enjoying How I Work,
Speaker 1: I'd love it if you could leave a review for
Speaker 1: the show. It is one of the best ways to
Speaker 1: help other people find How I Work, and so you
Speaker 1: can do that by just leaving a star rating or
Speaker 1: writing a few words wherever you're listening to. This podcast
Speaker 1: from How I Work is produced by Inventium with production
Speaker 1: support from Dead Set Studios. And thank you to Martin Nimba,
Speaker 1: who does the audio mix for every episode and makes
Speaker 1: this show sound much better than it would have otherwise.
Speaker 1: See you next time.