Speaker 1: Hi guys, and I'll welcome back to another episode of
Speaker 1: Life Uncut. I'm Laura. I don't know why that was funny.
Speaker 1: I'm Brittany because we've already done this episode like three
Speaker 1: times or the start of this episode, and every time
Speaker 1: I've tried something different. This is our short, sharp and
Speaker 1: sexy little episode where we answer you're deep, dark and
Speaker 1: burning questions. It's a Thursday, it's us gun Cut day.
Speaker 1: It feels a little bit strange because we've actually recording
Speaker 1: this a little bit ahead of time. And by a
Speaker 1: little bit, I mean a few days. Usually we are
Speaker 1: scrambling around trying and keep our head above water, bringing
Speaker 1: these episodes the night before, because that's just how we've
Speaker 1: rolled from day one. Our motto at Life Uncut, and
Speaker 1: this has just become like the unofficial motto. We're gonna
Speaker 1: get stuck on some T shirts that just Brittany and
Speaker 1: our where it is we thrive in chaos. Mine's also
Speaker 1: risk it for the biscuit. But yeah, we do thrive
Speaker 1: in chaos and I do risk it for the pussy.
Speaker 1: And do you know why we're recording this early. I'm
Speaker 1: going to tell you I have a little bit of
Speaker 1: like pent up resentment and fear that I'm going to
Speaker 1: be left alone and lonely. Britt, as you guys know,
Speaker 1: is going overseas, but she's actually going overseas very very soon.
Speaker 1: And this is the last episode that we're going to
Speaker 1: be recording face to face in the same room. Yeah,
Speaker 1: it's oh, I didn't even know where to start. I'm
Speaker 1: super excited obviously to go and see Jordan. It's been
Speaker 1: a couple of months now, but I haven't really let
Speaker 1: myself be that excited. We have had so much to
Speaker 1: do in order for me to go, like and I
Speaker 1: just need to say thanks Laurifa, like helping me out
Speaker 1: on that since it has been manic. I'm talking like
Speaker 1: driving chaos, waking up at seven and putting our phone
Speaker 1: back down at midnight, recording all day, doing business, doing
Speaker 1: everything for this to go. And it's everyone's like, are
Speaker 1: you excited? I'm like, not really, I just need to
Speaker 1: get through the next week. I have wild anxiety about everything.
Speaker 1: The reason why we've been working over time to be
Speaker 1: able to bank some really amazing interviews with some really
Speaker 1: really awesome people, and they are going to be still
Speaker 1: coming out. We didn't want to have any time. Okay,
Speaker 1: we're having like a midyear break, which is like standard
Speaker 1: that we didn't want to have any unscheduled time off
Speaker 1: the podcast, and we know that maybe remote recording might
Speaker 1: have its own challenges, so we just wanted to be
Speaker 1: super super prepared, which is very unlike us. But look
Speaker 1: at us being all adulty. But when we say we're
Speaker 1: having a midyear break, guys, we will still be releasing content.
Speaker 1: It just won't be like the regular content. So don't
Speaker 1: just like shit for lolls. It'll be just Lola Derby is. Yeah,
Speaker 1: accullently unfiltered story. That's where we're gonna be at. Have
Speaker 1: your panel already, shull probably need it. Did you just
Speaker 1: say that's my new one? Also, like I am gonna
Speaker 1: scum like my poor child Lola is just who's Lola?
Speaker 1: You mean Lolla Derby? Yeah, Like I've just ruined my child.
Speaker 1: I know that I really got Stubb and I dug
Speaker 1: my heels and I was like, no, I don't care
Speaker 1: if Britain's gonna call her Lollodoby. I'm just gonna keep
Speaker 1: calling her Lola and I'm gonna name my child that
Speaker 1: and that's gonna be it. But now you guys all
Speaker 1: message me DM, me, and everyone calls a Lola Derby.
Speaker 1: It really hurts my soul. She loves I get messages
Speaker 1: to his hope Little Derby's okay, and I'm like, she's
Speaker 1: doing fine. She's just riding a Loller coaster. So you
Speaker 1: know that this episode is where we answer all of
Speaker 1: your questions. Thank you to every single person who has
Speaker 1: been writing in. We pick out the ones that we
Speaker 1: think we can add value to, that we think are
Speaker 1: the most relevant, that you guys could maybe empathize with
Speaker 1: or get something out of, and we have picked our
Speaker 1: I don't know if I can say favorite, because that
Speaker 1: sounds really weird. We have picked three questions for this episode,
Speaker 1: and are we gonna get into it. Before we do
Speaker 1: get into the questions, I just wanted to say something funny.
Speaker 1: I wanted to read out something funny. I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: paraphrase it. I got an Instagram DM, I love it
Speaker 1: when you guys slide on in And it was from
Speaker 1: a listener she had. I don't know if you guys
Speaker 1: remember if you haven't listened to last week's Ask Uncut.
Speaker 1: There was a question that came in about should or
Speaker 1: shouldn't a woman by her husband for their anniversary viagra,
Speaker 1: and we were a bit like, oh, I don't know
Speaker 1: if it would be if he would take that as
Speaker 1: a bit offensive or anyway. Also, we received so many
Speaker 1: responses on Instagram from people who work in the medical industry,
Speaker 1: who are pharmacists or who like whatever whatever they do.
Speaker 1: They're people who actually know what they're talking about people.
Speaker 1: And the response to that question was that you cannot
Speaker 1: just go in and buy viagra, which I think most
Speaker 1: people know that, but if you want to get viagro,
Speaker 1: you have to actually get a script, which means that
Speaker 1: the partner can't go and get him viagra anyway, He's
Speaker 1: going to go to the doctors and get her himself.
Speaker 1: It also means even if you tried to go and
Speaker 1: do that, the poor guy's going to have a recdulltysfunction
Speaker 1: on his medical record. But it doesn't have itually. There's
Speaker 1: like some black market out there. Look, we're not dorsing,
Speaker 1: don't do that. Silk Rode deep Whip. No. We were
Speaker 1: talking about in that conversation and Laura was talking about
Speaker 1: something that Matt had said. She went and asked, Matt,
Speaker 1: what do you think you know Matt was like, oh,
Speaker 1: you gotta be ready to go to Poundtown if you're
Speaker 1: going to get viagra. So this woman wrote in saying
Speaker 1: she just picked her kids up from piano lessons, very
Speaker 1: innocent piano lessons. They get in the car and Life
Speaker 1: on Cut playing that episode, don't play Life uncut around.
Speaker 1: As soon as they get in the car, they heard
Speaker 1: you saying, well, you've got to be ready to go
Speaker 1: to Poundtown. The five year old daughter in the backseat
Speaker 1: pops up, pas Hey, Mom, where's Poundtown? That sounds wild?
Speaker 1: She goes, dumb, that's a pleas that you don't need
Speaker 1: to visit for a very long time. Poundtown is wild.
Speaker 1: You're not going to Poundtown for quite some time. Girlfriend? No,
Speaker 1: like fifteen years plus? Surely? Well, I mean twenty whatever,
Speaker 1: sixteen seven. I don't know how old are people these days? Well,
Speaker 1: I think they're get younger and younger. I think it's
Speaker 1: a chicken. Have you seen how old younger girls look? Now?
Speaker 1: Do you say? I think it's the chicken. It's like
Speaker 1: the hormones chicken. Haven't you seen these young girls? Now?
Speaker 1: And guys, I did not look like sixteen year olds
Speaker 1: look now. When I was sixteen. Let me. I was
Speaker 1: like at thirteen, I was walking around a hypercolor T
Speaker 1: shirt that changed color depending on how hot or warm
Speaker 1: I was, And I had a pair of fluoro fucking
Speaker 1: bite pants. Also, like the other thing, everybody used to have,
Speaker 1: like branded teeth, like Billibong was cool or like I did.
Speaker 1: Everybody had like branded T shirts. I will never forget
Speaker 1: being thirteen and going to a surf shop and I
Speaker 1: was like, Mum, I really want that tea shirt and
Speaker 1: my mom was like, laur it's a T shirt. I
Speaker 1: can make you a T shirt. And we went home
Speaker 1: and my mom fucking sewed me a T shirt. My
Speaker 1: mom did and they put a decal on the front
Speaker 1: from Spotlight. That's what I wore to Mufty day at school. Honestly,
Speaker 1: it's really expensive, like a T shirt back then, sixty
Speaker 1: seventy dollars for one T shirt that you wear ones
Speaker 1: you're a kid, you will ruin it. Add that to
Speaker 1: four kids, Like looking back, there's no way do you
Speaker 1: know what I used to do? When I look at
Speaker 1: a thirteen and fourteen year old now and they've got
Speaker 1: big boobs, they've got makeup, they've got beautiful hair, they've
Speaker 1: like had extensions designer clothes. I used to do every day.
Speaker 1: I did that thing where you would twist your hair
Speaker 1: into hundreds of twists in little circles and put butterfly
Speaker 1: clips on them. I had I reckon. I could fit
Speaker 1: one hundred five flight clips in my hair, and that's
Speaker 1: what I wore to school. That's it. That's literally the
Speaker 1: teenager that I was. Yeah, but that's the teenager you're
Speaker 1: supposed to be. That's Shit's character building, that gives you
Speaker 1: a personality. Imagine every time I see a twelve year
Speaker 1: old walking around hair assassin vites, I'm like, you will
Speaker 1: not be funny. You have no stories to tell. There
Speaker 1: is nothing dysfunctional about your life. You've got too much
Speaker 1: shit together. I still don't have sassinbid jeans. Actually, Laura
Speaker 1: and I were talking about this last night too, Laura
Speaker 1: Sheridan and myself. We were like, this is the ship
Speaker 1: that you do as a kid that actually gives you
Speaker 1: stories and makes it funny when you're older, and it
Speaker 1: really really is character building. Like if I was walking
Speaker 1: around in designer clothes as a teenager, I would have
Speaker 1: no stories to tell, no butterfly clips, no stories. Well,
Speaker 1: I mean like far less relatable stories to tell. But
Speaker 1: the one thing we were talking about last night, and
Speaker 1: I feel like all of the older listeners are gonna
Speaker 1: get this. Mean maybe some of the younger ones will
Speaker 1: as well, But I don't think it's quite such a
Speaker 1: fat at school these days because there's a bit more
Speaker 1: of a health style rating in primary schools. And okay,
Speaker 1: do you guys do not remember Devon? Like just Devon
Speaker 1: on a sandwich. I don't think parents would send us
Speaker 1: to school white bread, butter, Devon and sauce. That was lunch.
Speaker 1: It was pretty lit because you don't know what it was.
Speaker 1: Devon was like a loaf, like a big loaf of
Speaker 1: meat that came like it was a log of meat
Speaker 1: and you just had to cut your slabs and then
Speaker 1: you splattered it on your bread with sauce. It was delicious.
Speaker 1: It was like really low grade hand but one step
Speaker 1: above spam. That's all we're talking about, and that's what
Speaker 1: we all ate for lunch as kids. But anyway, do
Speaker 1: you know what this is not a trip down memory lane.
Speaker 1: We need to get into the questions. Shout out to Devon.
Speaker 1: This episode is brought to you by Devon. That's not
Speaker 1: sponsant devon, don't add us. Okay, let's get into some
Speaker 1: questions here we go. Okay, girls, I have this friend
Speaker 1: that loves to party, but it seems every time we
Speaker 1: go out, she's getting more and more drunk, to the
Speaker 1: point where she's falling asleep and can't walk or talk.
Speaker 1: It's getting to the point where I'm starting to resent
Speaker 1: hanging out with her because she gets so drunk I
Speaker 1: have to carry her home. Like last night we went
Speaker 1: to a football game. She got so blind that we
Speaker 1: had to sit and rest and recovery for two hours
Speaker 1: so she can sleep it off, and then peed her pants.
Speaker 1: The taxi wouldn't even take her. We had to get
Speaker 1: the cops to help transfer her into the car. I
Speaker 1: took her back to my house because I was so
Speaker 1: scared that she was going to choke on her own vomit.
Speaker 1: And I woke up this morning and she wet the
Speaker 1: bed too. It's just getting progressively worse and worse, and
Speaker 1: I don't know how to bring it up that she
Speaker 1: needs some serious reevaluating the way she drinks. And I'm
Speaker 1: not saying this happens once in a blue moon. It's
Speaker 1: like every time we drink she's getting black out drunk.
Speaker 1: I'm worried for her safety. I'm worried for her health,
Speaker 1: and I just don't know how to talk to her
Speaker 1: about it. This is a I want to say, this
Speaker 1: is a tricky one, but it probably actually isn't that much.
Speaker 1: It does sound like your friend, unfortunately, actually has a problem.
Speaker 1: It's not that she's maybe just partying a little bit
Speaker 1: too hard. It sounds like she's doing it all the time,
Speaker 1: every time. But also, like I think, anybody who's getting
Speaker 1: to a point where they're blackout drunk and that's the default,
Speaker 1: you have a problem. Yeah, she's got to reassess her
Speaker 1: baseline of what is a normal night out. If your
Speaker 1: normal night out is blackout drunk, and that's for a
Speaker 1: multitude of reasons, that's a it's not healthy, it's not safe,
Speaker 1: but it's also a really big inconvenience to the people
Speaker 1: around you. And I guess that's something that she hasn't
Speaker 1: actually considered that her doing that isn't just her. It's
Speaker 1: affecting you, guys. You have to take your night out.
Speaker 1: It's spend hours looking after and making sure she's okay,
Speaker 1: worrying about us, stressing about us, so I think there
Speaker 1: definitely needs to be a conversation that's had well. I guess,
Speaker 1: like there's so many parts to this, and I've spoken
Speaker 1: a little bit before on this podcast about alcohol abuse
Speaker 1: and it's something that I actually genuinely really care about it.
Speaker 1: And I don't in any way think that I was
Speaker 1: an alcoholic when I was younger, but I definitely drank
Speaker 1: too much and I definitely put some of my relationships
Speaker 1: at risk because of the way I behaved when I
Speaker 1: would drink. And I look back on that now and
Speaker 1: now I know, like, I never ever want my relationships
Speaker 1: to suffer because I'm partying too much. And I think
Speaker 1: about this girl, and I'm like, there is a misconception
Speaker 1: in Australia, and I think there's a misconception around young
Speaker 1: people that you can only be an alcoholic when you're older. No,
Speaker 1: you can be an alcoholic when you're in your twenties.
Speaker 1: You can be an alcoholic in your early thirties. Being
Speaker 1: an alcoholic doesn't have to mean that your life is
Speaker 1: falling apart around you. What it means is that you
Speaker 1: have a dysfunctional relationship with alcohol and you struggle. If
Speaker 1: you're in this social environment where there's alcohol, you always
Speaker 1: take it too far, and there's so many ramifications from that.
Speaker 1: But I think when people start to realize that actually
Speaker 1: maybe they're an alcohol it's when it's taken such a
Speaker 1: huge toll on all their relationships and it's affecting their work,
Speaker 1: and it's affecting all these other facets of life that
Speaker 1: they then will acknowledge that they have a problem. You
Speaker 1: need to sit down with your friend and have a
Speaker 1: really genuine heart to heart and explain to your friend
Speaker 1: one what they're doing, because if they're getting black out
Speaker 1: drunk that they don't remember everything, they need to be
Speaker 1: made fully aware of their behavior, which hopefully in their
Speaker 1: conscious state, they will be quite embarrassed by. And also
Speaker 1: if you do know the triggers, if you go out
Speaker 1: to certain venues or you do certain things at nighttime,
Speaker 1: that that's going to be environments where she's going to drink.
Speaker 1: If you guys are all drinking around her, that she's
Speaker 1: going to be drinking more. I think creating an environment
Speaker 1: or doing things with your friend that don't necessarily involve
Speaker 1: alcohol as a way of deterring her. And I'm not
Speaker 1: saying that you need to avoid it. In all instances,
Speaker 1: but having a really honest conversation with her saying I
Speaker 1: don't want to be around you when you're drinking. It
Speaker 1: is such a burden on us. And not only a burden,
Speaker 1: but also I am worried for your safety. I'm worried
Speaker 1: for your health. And the person that you are when
Speaker 1: you're drunk is not the person that I want to
Speaker 1: be friends with. I really think she needs to be
Speaker 1: made very, very aware of how this is going to
Speaker 1: impact her relationships and for me and for like, when
Speaker 1: I was in my twenties and I was getting white
Speaker 1: wine wasted and I was, you know, drinking too much
Speaker 1: when I was out with my boyfriend at the time,
Speaker 1: and he would say to me, oh, like, I hate
Speaker 1: the way that you behave when you're drunk. I hate
Speaker 1: when you do this. It was only when he really
Speaker 1: started to explain to me what my behavior was like,
Speaker 1: and then other people would say, yeah, you said that
Speaker 1: or you did that, that it made me realize, Holy fuck,
Speaker 1: I don't want to be that person. I don't want
Speaker 1: to ruin my relationships. And now I'm really really conscious, like, yes,
Speaker 1: I still love a glass of wine. I'll have a
Speaker 1: glass of wine when I cook dinner, I am very
Speaker 1: conscious about how much I drink. Now, there's a lot
Speaker 1: of points in there. There's a lot. I was like,
Speaker 1: what do I get to first? I literally agree with
Speaker 1: everything that you said. I, on the other hand, I
Speaker 1: can't relate that much because I never have had a
Speaker 1: drinking problem. I was probably the opposite my long term
Speaker 1: relationship when I was the eight year relationship, he didn't
Speaker 1: drink at all. He was like an athlete to have
Speaker 1: someone in life that's so healthy. And he was older
Speaker 1: than me, so he was like my influence. That's who
Speaker 1: I hung around me, So I didn't really drink. I
Speaker 1: also wasn't around people that were like that. I think
Speaker 1: that my group of people growing up, we were all
Speaker 1: the same. We're all really healthy. We're all into surfing
Speaker 1: and bike riding and just being active and getting up
Speaker 1: at the crack of daw And so I haven't had
Speaker 1: the experience with trying to help a friend through this situation.
Speaker 1: But like Laura just said, sometimes people need to be
Speaker 1: made aware of just how severe the problem is if
Speaker 1: they're not realizing it on their own, and if you
Speaker 1: don't have a sit down and say as a friend
Speaker 1: and like a loving chat. You want to be their
Speaker 1: supporter because something is obviously going on in her life.
Speaker 1: You just need to say, hey, like, I'm not sure
Speaker 1: if you're aware of what actually happens when you go out,
Speaker 1: because she might not. She might think it's not nearly
Speaker 1: as bad as what it is. Another point I really
Speaker 1: like that you said, Laura is that you don't have
Speaker 1: to be old. It's a common misconception that alcoholism is
Speaker 1: something that comes when you're older. And with all these troubles,
Speaker 1: there are a lot of really young, very inspirational, famous people,
Speaker 1: actors that you probably don't know, but that are sober.
Speaker 1: And I remember reading something recently. I know Lucy Haley is,
Speaker 1: I know Zach EFRONI is he's been sober since like
Speaker 1: twenty thirteen because they literally said I wasn't a good
Speaker 1: person when I was drinking, and I didn't want to
Speaker 1: be like that. I didn't want in the world to view
Speaker 1: me like that. And I think that that's really great
Speaker 1: to take inspiration from people that are looked at to
Speaker 1: be very inspirational. And I guess the gold standards someone
Speaker 1: like Zach Efron's just like young, hot, successful, beautiful. I mean,
Speaker 1: Kayla it seems that we've had her on the podcast,
Speaker 1: she's exactly the same. She hasn't had a drink in years.
Speaker 1: I don't think she's actually ever had a drink. From memory,
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, she's never had that's right. I think she
Speaker 1: had had it, tried wine and didn't like it. Definitely
Speaker 1: a product of your environment. There's a good chance that
Speaker 1: your friend struggles with social anxiety. The only reason why
Speaker 1: I would drink too much when I would go out
Speaker 1: was because I thought I was like funnier or louder,
Speaker 1: or more entertaining, or like I had more confidence once
Speaker 1: I'd had a few drinks. But I just didn't know
Speaker 1: where that end stop was. Did you get drunk through
Speaker 1: the Bachelor? Throughout the Bachelor process? No, I was pretty
Speaker 1: good in the Bachelor. There was only like one or
Speaker 1: two nights, one or two cocktail parties where I probably
Speaker 1: had too many drinks because it had kind of dragged
Speaker 1: on a bit too long and it was more so
Speaker 1: help me. Yeah, like it was still it was like
Speaker 1: three in the morning, and we you know, there's nothing
Speaker 1: to do except have a few glasses of wine. By
Speaker 1: then you're kind of like mixed with tired and alcohol
Speaker 1: but when we filmed The Bachelor, I was thirty one
Speaker 1: years old, like I'd already kind of lived that life
Speaker 1: and I already knew the person I was when I'd
Speaker 1: had a few too many wines and I was like,
Speaker 1: I'm not fucking doing that on National TV. Same. I
Speaker 1: just think alcohol is such a it's such a big
Speaker 1: topic in Australia, and I really do think that we
Speaker 1: have such a binge drinking culture here that we glorify
Speaker 1: and we still think it's really fun to go out
Speaker 1: and get really wasted. But Australia is the worst. As
Speaker 1: someone that's traveled the world, Australia is literally and I
Speaker 1: am very patriotic. I love Australia, but we are probably
Speaker 1: the worst for binge drinking. It's almost this thing ingrained
Speaker 1: in us that that's the cool thing to do growing up,
Speaker 1: and then it's not until you're a little bit older,
Speaker 1: but you realize it's not that cool. The last thing
Speaker 1: to think about if anyone does have a friend or
Speaker 1: is in a situation that's very similar, it's really important
Speaker 1: that maybe you create situations for self that aren't going
Speaker 1: out and getting drunk. So instead of all catching up
Speaker 1: at a bar, or going out for the night, be like, Hey,
Speaker 1: let's catch up for lunch and a walk, Let's go
Speaker 1: play cricket in the park. There's like a thousand things
Speaker 1: you could do. Let's go to the cinema, Like, you
Speaker 1: could do anything other than creating the environment that allows
Speaker 1: that to happen. So that's another food for thought. But
Speaker 1: I think we've covered that all right. Let's hit me
Speaker 1: with the next question. Have you ever watched porn with
Speaker 1: your partner? What are your thoughts on it? Ways to
Speaker 1: spice up sex life? My partner and I have been
Speaker 1: living together for nearly three years. I want to know
Speaker 1: how to spice up the sex watching the sex, watching
Speaker 1: The Bold Type. I love that. I hope you're watching
Speaker 1: that because of our reco watching The Bold Type, they
Speaker 1: talked about watching porn together. I think it would be awkward,
Speaker 1: but would love to hear opinions and options. Have you
Speaker 1: ever watched sex with a part I don't watch sex
Speaker 1: with a partner. Have you watched porn with a partner? Yeah,
Speaker 1: I have. It doesn't really do it for me, but
Speaker 1: porn doesn't really overly do it for me anyway. We've
Speaker 1: spoken about that before. For me, it's not my thing.
Speaker 1: But I also didn't find it awkward, So why did
Speaker 1: you watch it if it's not your thing? Was it
Speaker 1: for them want to try it? I'm open to try
Speaker 1: lots of things, and I was like, well, how do
Speaker 1: I know if I don't like something if I don't
Speaker 1: try it. It wasn't that it was awkward by any means,
Speaker 1: but it just like, I don't find the need. It
Speaker 1: doesn't add any value to my sex life, and I
Speaker 1: would probably try other things than watching porn. But what
Speaker 1: I want to say for you is I hope that
Speaker 1: after three years with your partner and you live together,
Speaker 1: so I hope that after this time you wouldn't ever
Speaker 1: feel awkward in a situation like that. I hope that
Speaker 1: you guys are open enough to want to try things
Speaker 1: and then be really honest. So I think that I
Speaker 1: wouldn't worry about you thinking it's awkward. I would just say, hey,
Speaker 1: do you want to? Or you don't even have to
Speaker 1: ask him. I guess you could be like getting sexy
Speaker 1: and be like, want to put some porn on? You
Speaker 1: could just say it in the moment if you want,
Speaker 1: or you could have a sit down and be like, hey,
Speaker 1: why don't we watch some porn later, What do you
Speaker 1: think about that? Like, just plant the seed. If at
Speaker 1: any time you're not liking it or you're feeling uncomfortable,
Speaker 1: he's feeling uncomfortable after three years, just be like, woh,
Speaker 1: well this is not for me and move on. I
Speaker 1: don't think it has to be a big deal. I
Speaker 1: think it's interesting though, that you say that after three
Speaker 1: years of being someone it shouldn't be uncomfortable to have
Speaker 1: these conversations. I almost disagree with that, and I'll explain why.
Speaker 1: The reason why is because I think that when you
Speaker 1: have been with someone for such a length of time,
Speaker 1: you've got your baseline of what's normal, like your sex
Speaker 1: is probably maybe I'm not gonna say it's boring, but
Speaker 1: you've got your your safe sex that you generally have
Speaker 1: and sometimes to then if you're kind of doing the
Speaker 1: same thing every time you have sex and it's become
Speaker 1: a little bit monotonous, to just out of nowhere be like, hey,
Speaker 1: I want to watch porn. You're worried that like they're
Speaker 1: going to take that to a fense or it's going
Speaker 1: to start with them, Like I know that even like
Speaker 1: with me and Matt now and what we've been together
Speaker 1: for I'm just in the five years. If I was
Speaker 1: five years four and a bit, yeah, two kids, like
Speaker 1: or whatever. We waste no time people. I know that
Speaker 1: if I was to just out of nowhere be like, hey,
Speaker 1: we should watch porn, that would be weird for our relationship.
Speaker 1: We don't watch porn together, so he would be a
Speaker 1: little bit like, where would that come from? But would you?
Speaker 1: I mean, like, I have been a viewer of your
Speaker 1: relationship for a long time now. Sometimes it's like I'm
Speaker 1: not there. I'm sitting on the lounge and it's almost
Speaker 1: like they don't know I'm Therria're just having really missionary
Speaker 1: sex in front of But He's like, sometimes I watch
Speaker 1: the sex, but only at Laura's house. You're a peopole.
Speaker 1: I've seen the way you two interact with each other,
Speaker 1: and I've seen some pretty like funny questions be posed
Speaker 1: to each other. I don't think it would be awkward.
Speaker 1: I think you could turn around and be like, want
Speaker 1: to watch porn later, and he'd be like, well, that
Speaker 1: was weird, But I don't think you'd find the awkwardness.
Speaker 1: That's what I think totally, And I think that was
Speaker 1: where I was gonna go with this. I don't think
Speaker 1: it's in the spirit of the moment. I don't think
Speaker 1: it's when you're having sex that you're like, hey, do
Speaker 1: you want to put porn? Because now he's like, it's
Speaker 1: like too fast, too soon. I think it is something
Speaker 1: that has to be raised outside the bedroom in a
Speaker 1: very lighthearted manner, you know. And I don't know what
Speaker 1: your relationships like. Maybe you guys aren't as jokey as
Speaker 1: what Matt and I are. But I would say to Matt,
Speaker 1: I would be like, hey, I want to try something
Speaker 1: new and then I play on the big screen. But
Speaker 1: I'd be like, so, I have an idea I want
Speaker 1: to watch some porn in our relationship, Like I want
Speaker 1: to watch porn and see if that turns us on.
Speaker 1: But I want you to go away and find your
Speaker 1: favorite porno and I'm going to go away and find
Speaker 1: my favorite porno and then we can watch each other's
Speaker 1: favorite porno together. And I think like making it a
Speaker 1: bit more of an activity like that could parents stay out.
Speaker 1: He's just like looking at me like, I'm like, this
Speaker 1: doesn't have to be no. I think like I think
Speaker 1: you can could be like confusing and also maybe a
Speaker 1: little bit of befuddling being there going like, oh, well, what porn?
Speaker 1: And then you're in the moment then you're trying to
Speaker 1: google porn. I think, like, have your link, know what
Speaker 1: porn you want to put on, get him to figure
Speaker 1: out what he wants to watch, and then come together
Speaker 1: and watch some consensual pawn together. Oh god, I'm like
Speaker 1: shivering in my boots. Another thing is maybe does your
Speaker 1: partner watch porn? Do you know he watches porn? Or
Speaker 1: if you don't know he watches porn, can you ask
Speaker 1: him if he watches porn? In condensation if that watches porn,
Speaker 1: I feel like he probably only watches it when he's hungover.
Speaker 1: I think what you could do is if you know
Speaker 1: he watches porn, you could literally be like, hey, next
Speaker 1: time you watch that, let me know, just like that
Speaker 1: throwaway koment that will plant the seed and be like, oh,
Speaker 1: she's she wants to Like I can tell you he's
Speaker 1: going to be keen as beings. It's something new, Like
Speaker 1: he's not gonna say no. If he doesn't watch it
Speaker 1: and you don't know that, ask him like, hey, do
Speaker 1: you watch porn? Like super curious, Like I think that's
Speaker 1: a normal question you can ask your partner. And I
Speaker 1: think one of the big things to take home from
Speaker 1: this as well is like, if you've been in a
Speaker 1: long term relationship and you feel like your sex is
Speaker 1: a little bit boring or monotonous, there's a good chance
Speaker 1: your partner feels the same. They're not going to be
Speaker 1: offended by you wanting to bring something new or exciting
Speaker 1: or try something different in the bedroom. Nobody is going
Speaker 1: to be offended by that, unless you're like, here's some viagra,
Speaker 1: happy anniversary. No, but I really don't think that, Like
Speaker 1: you could offend your partner, especially if you take baby
Speaker 1: steps like maybe bringing in a toy or watching porn
Speaker 1: or whatever it is. But like, if you're wanting to
Speaker 1: spice things up in the bedroom, watching porn is not
Speaker 1: the only way to go about it. There are definitely
Speaker 1: other options. But I think have a lighthearted conversation about it,
Speaker 1: bring that to the table, and then bring it to
Speaker 1: the bedroom. Yeah, because it could be really fun. Okay,
Speaker 1: question next one. I was like, why don't we're at
Speaker 1: the next one? This is similar to something we had
Speaker 1: in the past, but I think it's got a kind
Speaker 1: of slightly different answer, So I'm going to bring it
Speaker 1: to the I also think that a lot of us
Speaker 1: have probably been in a situation where we don't like
Speaker 1: our friend's boyfriend or ex boyfriendow So let's go. My
Speaker 1: best friend has been dating a guy for just under
Speaker 1: a year. For some contexts, I have never gotten along
Speaker 1: with him, and she knows that not everyone agrees with
Speaker 1: their relationship. Not only this, but we were so incredibly
Speaker 1: close just before she started dating this guy, and then
Speaker 1: just was not as close due to her relationship, which
Speaker 1: I know, it's totally fine and relationships move in waves. However,
Speaker 1: I have recently found out that he could have been
Speaker 1: cheating on her. I don't know for certain, but I'm
Speaker 1: in a pickle of whether to tell her that these
Speaker 1: are the rumors that are going around or not. They
Speaker 1: broke up less than a week ago, and she is
Speaker 1: completely heartbroken. He broke up with her, not relating to
Speaker 1: cheating because she is not aware of this. Still, should
Speaker 1: I still tell her and let her know so she
Speaker 1: can move on and not hold onto the fact that
Speaker 1: she wants to get back with him so badly. I
Speaker 1: just don't know if it is worth telling her now
Speaker 1: that they're broken up and will make her heart more
Speaker 1: broken than it already is. This is really hard. I've
Speaker 1: got some views on this one. I'm going to say,
Speaker 1: don used on everything. He's not a hot take, there's
Speaker 1: something different. I'm going to give you my opinion on
Speaker 1: this one. Guys. I think don't tell her on this
Speaker 1: one And the reason why I think don't tell her
Speaker 1: is because you don't have facts and it's not one
Speaker 1: hundred percent and you're basing it on rumors, and I
Speaker 1: think if you're wrong, it could cause more her to
Speaker 1: your relationship with her than it will to her relationship
Speaker 1: with him. And what it could actually do is if
Speaker 1: you're wrong, it could actually galvanize their relationship more galvanize.
Speaker 1: That's a good one, Thank you. I liked it too.
Speaker 1: Do you know where I heard that word used for
Speaker 1: that song? Galvans? No, it was that was an I
Speaker 1: am tone deaf. It was when I was sitting with
Speaker 1: sam Wood and Snazanna when Matt and I and sam
Speaker 1: Wood and Snazzana had to do an appearance on that
Speaker 1: a new season and He's rabbit in that the successful
Speaker 1: people went back onto The Bachelor. Yeah, that one time
Speaker 1: when everyone who ended up happy on the Bachelor Union,
Speaker 1: Sam Wood described his relationship with Snazzana as being galvanized
Speaker 1: by the experience of the Bachelor, and I was like,
Speaker 1: that's a fucking good word. Yeah, clocking that one. Yes,
Speaker 1: So I put it in my little kiddy and I'll
Speaker 1: popping out every so often. So there you go. I look,
Speaker 1: I feel the same. But I'm going to add something.
Speaker 1: It's definitely important that you don't if it's just a
Speaker 1: rumor and you don't know for sure, Like I don't
Speaker 1: think it's worth going to plant that seed because it
Speaker 1: will be very tumultuous. What I do want to say
Speaker 1: is if you know deep down that it's true, like
Speaker 1: sometimes you might not see it happen, but you still know.
Speaker 1: Like I have had friends like that where I know
Speaker 1: that one of them has been cheating, but I've never
Speaker 1: seen it with my own eyes, But you just know.
Speaker 1: But this isn't even just like not seeing it with
Speaker 1: your own eyes or just knowing. This is like a
Speaker 1: rumor that's been heard in the mill exactly, So I
Speaker 1: think there's probably validity to it. But but do you
Speaker 1: want to be the messenger that gets shot? The only
Speaker 1: time I would consider telling you in this situation is
Speaker 1: if deep down, like I just said, okay, it's just
Speaker 1: it's for short, it's a rumor now. But if deep
Speaker 1: down you really know that he's just a shit bag,
Speaker 1: and inside you're like, yes, I'm so glad she's finally over.
Speaker 1: If they then go to get back together and you
Speaker 1: know that it's not right, I think then is the
Speaker 1: time that you could have the conversation. But you want
Speaker 1: to be very, very sure of what you're saying. That's
Speaker 1: all I want to say. It's not good enough for
Speaker 1: you to say you don't like him as a person
Speaker 1: and as your friend's boyfriend. You don't want him to
Speaker 1: be like if she loves him and he's actually a
Speaker 1: faithful boyfriend, you just don't like him. That's not up
Speaker 1: to you to try and ruin that. But if you
Speaker 1: know he's a really, really bad egg and he's doing
Speaker 1: the wrong thing, and then she all of a sudden
Speaker 1: wants to go get back with him, I think then
Speaker 1: you could have a conversation for sure, because I would
Speaker 1: want my friend to tell me if she knew that
Speaker 1: my partner was cheating on me and I was about
Speaker 1: to get back with him, because I would want to
Speaker 1: be option to make an educated decision on if I
Speaker 1: want to get back with him knowing he's done the
Speaker 1: wrong thing or not. Yeah, but you know what's going
Speaker 1: to happen. She's just gonna go and speak to him,
Speaker 1: and he's going to say no. And then the girl
Speaker 1: who is the partner is then in the situation where
Speaker 1: she either has to believe her friend who is basing
Speaker 1: this conversation off a room, or believe the person that
Speaker 1: she loves who says I never did this. Yeah, and
Speaker 1: the regality situation. But you know, like I mean, I
Speaker 1: think we can sit down here and unpack the person
Speaker 1: who she's going to believe is the partner who she's
Speaker 1: still in love with, Like, we've all made that decision before,
Speaker 1: we've all prioritized, especially without proof. The only reason why
Speaker 1: I have a different take on this and why I'm
Speaker 1: kind of like challenging this one a little bit is
Speaker 1: because I think with just saying that you're basing it
Speaker 1: off something you heard or something from a friend from
Speaker 1: a friend from a friend, Chinese whispers can happen, and
Speaker 1: they do happen, and like, yeah, I'm sure he's done
Speaker 1: some wrong things and that he may have cheated there
Speaker 1: is a very good chance of that, and there's probably
Speaker 1: a really good reason why you don't like him. I
Speaker 1: think as someone's friend, you don't just instantly dislike their
Speaker 1: boyfriend unless it's based in something. But I just think
Speaker 1: be very very careful about having those conversations because I
Speaker 1: think it can really deteriorate your own relationship. Something that
Speaker 1: I can relate this to from my own personal experiences,
Speaker 1: and you guys all know that I've spoken about the
Speaker 1: very toxic relationship that I was in for a couple
Speaker 1: of years where I got cheated on multiple times. And
Speaker 1: this happened just before going on the back. So I
Speaker 1: had two really close friends when I started that relationship,
Speaker 1: and one of those friends i'd been friends with since school,
Speaker 1: like it'd been one of my longest friendships, and the
Speaker 1: other one we've been friends for over a decade as well. Now,
Speaker 1: both of these friends had said to me independently, we
Speaker 1: think this guy is a really bad guy, and we
Speaker 1: don't trust him, and we don't like think he's good
Speaker 1: for you. And I, because I was so blindly in love,
Speaker 1: of course, I chose him, and I chose he lied.
Speaker 1: He said he had never cheated on me. I chose
Speaker 1: to prioritize that relationship. Now, one of those friends I'm
Speaker 1: not friends with anymore because the relationship damaged our friendship
Speaker 1: so much. But it was also because she couldn't accept
Speaker 1: that I had chosen him and to believe him over
Speaker 1: our friendship. But sometimes when you're in a relationship, you've
Speaker 1: got to ride that wave yourself. You have to come
Speaker 1: to a point where you're making those decisions for yourself,
Speaker 1: not just because somebody else is telling you the things
Speaker 1: you can't see. Now, the other friend who I'm still
Speaker 1: really close with, she rode the wave. She saw me
Speaker 1: out on the other side of it, And if anything,
Speaker 1: it actually makes me so much more great full for
Speaker 1: the friendship that I have because I know that no
Speaker 1: matter what comes up, no matter what gets thrown at me,
Speaker 1: that her intentions that she has is always to support
Speaker 1: and love me. And it's just like, I just think
Speaker 1: that this could go really badly for you if you
Speaker 1: give her an ultimatum, if you tell her these things
Speaker 1: and then she chooses her boyfriend or chooses to get
Speaker 1: back with him, it could be very damaging to your friendship. Conversely,
Speaker 1: it's the same thing my partner that was cheating on me.
Speaker 1: I had someone tell me that probably a year or
Speaker 1: a year and a half in, and they were adamant.
Speaker 1: They were like, it wasn't the rumor. They were like,
Speaker 1: he is, like, he is cheating on you, And I
Speaker 1: did the same thing. I asked him. He said he
Speaker 1: would never do that, and I believed him, because, like
Speaker 1: you said, love is blind. That's you want a relationship,
Speaker 1: you romanticize if that's what happens. But I genuinely believe
Speaker 1: that if I had come out of that relationship and
Speaker 1: I had a bunch of friends come forward saying, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm glad it's over. We knew he was cheating on
Speaker 1: you the whole time, I would be off the friends
Speaker 1: for sure. I would be like, why the fuck? Who
Speaker 1: knows if I would have believed them, But I'd be like,
Speaker 1: you all knew my partner that I wanted to marry
Speaker 1: was cheating on me the whole time. I would be
Speaker 1: really disappointed in that friendship if they didn't tell me.
Speaker 1: So this is why I'm torn, because you could tell
Speaker 1: her and she doesn't believe you. And that's something that
Speaker 1: you have got to decide within yourself. Are you able
Speaker 1: to live with the fact that your friend is going
Speaker 1: to go back to a jerk bag if you really
Speaker 1: really believe that he cheated on her. There's a lot
Speaker 1: for you to consider here. And ultimately, I think Laura
Speaker 1: and I have just presented both sides. There are pros
Speaker 1: and cons absolutely to both sides. But the only person now,
Speaker 1: I want you to take everything that we've said into consideration.
Speaker 1: The only person that can really decide what to do
Speaker 1: now is you, because we don't know your friendship, we
Speaker 1: don't know the ins and outs, we don't know where
Speaker 1: the rumors have come from, how substantial they are, and
Speaker 1: I mean, you know what they say. Where they's smoke,
Speaker 1: there's fire, oh way. Usually if there is someone walking
Speaker 1: around saying this guy's cheated, they're not saying it for
Speaker 1: no reath. Very few people are out there to try
Speaker 1: and fuck up other people's relationships for no reason and purpose,
Speaker 1: Like I genuinely believe that. But when you're so in
Speaker 1: a relationship and you love someone so much, you just
Speaker 1: don't want to believe the rumors. But healthy relationships don't
Speaker 1: have rumors that circulate around them. So for me, I
Speaker 1: am going to say, unless you think she's going to
Speaker 1: get back together, and unless you think that the rumors
Speaker 1: are really really true or have a very strong basis
Speaker 1: to them, don't tell her. Just let her mend her
Speaker 1: own heart on her own. I think it'd be easy
Speaker 1: for her to move on just knowing that maybe she
Speaker 1: did have a great relationship that didn't work out. So
Speaker 1: that's what I'm going to say for this. However, if
Speaker 1: she is thinking about getting back with him and you're
Speaker 1: worried that they're going to kind of, like, you know,
Speaker 1: reignite that, then maybe there is a bigger conversation here.
Speaker 1: But I think just be very careful with the delivery.
Speaker 1: If you're basing this entirely off Chinese whispers, Yeah, but
Speaker 1: just saybe just so you know. This is something that
Speaker 1: I have heard. I don't know anything more about it,
Speaker 1: but I just feel like I want you to know.
Speaker 1: That's what has to be. Relationships are so hard. They're
Speaker 1: so hard, especially when you go through from one to
Speaker 1: another and you're like, am I getting cheated on? Is
Speaker 1: this guy a douchebag? Is that a red flag or
Speaker 1: just a color of pink? Like? They're so hard, And
Speaker 1: we've done it, Britt and I have been there, We've
Speaker 1: rode the way we've bread with a wave. We're both
Speaker 1: in relatively healthy relationships right now. Yeah, would you call
Speaker 1: mine relationship it's on the other side of the world,
Speaker 1: like it's the healthiest one I've ever had. Fuck you
Speaker 1: and he's not here. Well, guys, that is it for today.
Speaker 1: That is our ask Uncut down a dirty episode. Please
Speaker 1: keep the questions coming into the Instagram at Life Uncut
Speaker 1: podcast and just put it at the top. Ask Uncut.
Speaker 1: Also keep your accidentally unfiltereds coming in same thing accidentally
Speaker 1: unfiltered up the top and any other funny story go
Speaker 1: and wish Brittany save travels. I mean, I know that
Speaker 1: there's going to be a lot of people out there
Speaker 1: who are like, actually, you know what, Britney, fuck you
Speaker 1: also in America. But you know there's a reason and
Speaker 1: purpose why as you guys and anybody else who's doing
Speaker 1: long distance at the moment, it's really really hard, and
Speaker 1: like I've seen britt have her good days and her
Speaker 1: bad days in this relationship, just because doing long distance
Speaker 1: takes a huge toll on relationships. And we will do
Speaker 1: an episode on long distance at some point while BRIT's
Speaker 1: away totally and I have been getting a lot of
Speaker 1: questions about how I'm going, And just so you guys,
Speaker 1: I mean, like not how I'm going, but like how
Speaker 1: I'm literally leaving to go to Europe. Just so you know,
Speaker 1: ninety five percent of the time I will be in
Speaker 1: a bubble. I don't get to leave the hotel. It's
Speaker 1: like it's a proper athlete bubble. So I know it's
Speaker 1: really like I want to be really sensitive about it
Speaker 1: because I know there are so many people that haven't
Speaker 1: seen their families overseas for a very long time. And
Speaker 1: my heart goes out to you, like I feel very
Speaker 1: emotional about it, and I feel very lucky that I
Speaker 1: can go and see Jordan. But I don't want people
Speaker 1: to get the wrong idea. And we will have a
Speaker 1: few days between countries where we're traveling to the next
Speaker 1: tournament where we're free because you literally have to get
Speaker 1: to the airport and you have to do those things.
Speaker 1: But I do want you to know that I am
Speaker 1: going to be it's gonna be pretty lonely existence I'm
Speaker 1: gonna be literally not being able to leave my hotel room.
Speaker 1: So not the room, the hotel, sorry, the hotel bubble.
Speaker 1: So I just wanted to add that in there. I
Speaker 1: don't want you guys to think that I'm going just
Speaker 1: to be gallivanting around and having a bougie holiday totally.
Speaker 1: So anyway, I mean, yeah, we're gonna do updates because
Speaker 1: I go, we're still gonna be talking, we're still gonna
Speaker 1: be bringing the podcast, you're still gonna be hearing. I'm
Speaker 1: just like, I just came way to Kissy's face, and
Speaker 1: that's another episode from MOSK. Guys, so tell your mom,
Speaker 1: tell your dad, tell your dog, and share the love
Speaker 1: because we are love.