WEBVTT - How To Determine If You’re Actually Attracted To Someone ❤️ 0:00:00.760 --> 0:00:03.840 The Flex and Rooms Daily Podcast. 0:00:08.440 --> 0:00:14.840 Hello, Mancheys, I like Europe Continental. She's a multi linguist. 0:00:15.000 --> 0:00:18.599 As you can hear, the voice is nasally. I contracted 0:00:18.640 --> 0:00:22.560 a serious flu on the way back from Europe, coughing, spluttering, 0:00:22.600 --> 0:00:24.720 blowing my nose on the plane. Yeah, the poor man 0:00:24.800 --> 0:00:27.560 next to me, I'd be filing a complaint the whole time. 0:00:27.560 --> 0:00:31.720 I'm waiting, when is he gonna ask the what's called 0:00:31.920 --> 0:00:37.360 flight attendant to stewardess? What's the stewart it's giving nineteen 0:00:37.400 --> 0:00:38.120 seventies flex? 0:00:38.800 --> 0:00:41.320 Is it not the same thing flight attendant? Is it doroctory? 0:00:41.640 --> 0:00:46.519 Stewardess's staying actress? Don't we say actress, You say steward. 0:00:48.159 --> 0:00:52.400 Do you remember when margin how often this term stewards? 0:00:53.680 --> 0:00:57.400 Okay, so the steward, the. 0:00:59.400 --> 0:01:05.800 Staff on the the onboard professional, the airborne professional. Anyway, 0:01:05.840 --> 0:01:08.280 I was waiting for him to hit up a flight 0:01:08.319 --> 0:01:09.720 attendant and say can you get me. 0:01:09.640 --> 0:01:12.200 Away from this band? Immediately he would get up and 0:01:12.200 --> 0:01:14.640 go talk to his friend for a long time. Yeah, anyway, 0:01:14.680 --> 0:01:16.600 it's not what we're talking about. We're talking about whether 0:01:16.680 --> 0:01:20.040 or not we Oh yeah, I had a mask, was 0:01:20.080 --> 0:01:23.520 blowing my nose, coughing, I was just a fucking mess. 0:01:24.160 --> 0:01:27.480 It was honestly disgusting, you know, when you're discussing yourself. 0:01:28.160 --> 0:01:33.760 But no, I'm still waiting for you to do something gross. 0:01:33.800 --> 0:01:35.520 You know, we live in a banshee studio. 0:01:35.560 --> 0:01:40.959 Are pretty support farting, burping, making feral noises. Flex. I 0:01:40.959 --> 0:01:42.720 haven't heard you do anything once we did go to 0:01:42.720 --> 0:01:45.000 the toilet together. Yeah, I've heard you pee. 0:01:45.400 --> 0:01:47.840 Because I'm delicate here. 0:01:47.960 --> 0:01:50.800 Look, I like to provide a safe piece for people 0:01:50.800 --> 0:01:54.160 to be themselves, you know, with some supervision. 0:01:53.600 --> 0:01:54.400 But not too much. 0:01:54.520 --> 0:01:57.480 Not too much anyway, what if you're talking about today, 0:01:58.400 --> 0:01:59.840 don't ask questions. 0:02:00.280 --> 0:02:02.280 We're just gonna get straight into it. It's about whether 0:02:02.360 --> 0:02:04.560 or not you're attractive, and whether or not someone else 0:02:04.600 --> 0:02:08.000 is attractive as orlo. 0:02:08.840 --> 0:02:11.160 Let's go flick and frooms. 0:02:11.520 --> 0:02:15.080 I was playing my Nintendo Switch. For those of you 0:02:15.120 --> 0:02:19.920 who might not know, I am a capital G gamer girl. 0:02:20.200 --> 0:02:21.600 You know I don't have a PC y because I 0:02:21.600 --> 0:02:23.800 don't need more tech. But got a PS five, got 0:02:23.840 --> 0:02:25.840 antendo switch, you know you name it. 0:02:25.840 --> 0:02:26.600 I have it. 0:02:26.600 --> 0:02:28.120 It's playing a game that I do not remember what 0:02:28.120 --> 0:02:31.120 it was called, but a lot of dialogue. I screenshotted 0:02:31.160 --> 0:02:33.440 it because there was this one statement that I had 0:02:33.480 --> 0:02:36.080 never really heard before, but I thought, perhaps I put 0:02:36.120 --> 0:02:36.800 it on the internet. 0:02:37.040 --> 0:02:38.840 You can tell me if it's true or untrue. Are 0:02:38.840 --> 0:02:45.000 you ready? There are only two real social classes, people 0:02:45.360 --> 0:02:49.360 with kitchen islands and people without. Yes or no? Do 0:02:49.440 --> 0:02:49.840 you agree? 0:02:49.880 --> 0:02:50.400 Of course? 0:02:50.720 --> 0:02:52.320 See, because for me, I had to think about it 0:02:52.360 --> 0:02:54.919 for a second. I was like, surely it's been must 0:02:54.960 --> 0:02:57.000 be more than nuanced than that. Now one, this is 0:02:57.000 --> 0:02:59.600 a kid's game. I'm sure it's like six plus. I 0:02:59.639 --> 0:03:01.680 don't know what is going on in here. But I 0:03:01.720 --> 0:03:04.200 was like, you know what, I think you might be right. 0:03:04.360 --> 0:03:07.000 Because I don't mean to brag. Okay, I've been having 0:03:07.000 --> 0:03:10.519 a good year. So what do I have? Kitchen island? 0:03:10.560 --> 0:03:13.680 Do you have a big fat island? How many meters long? 0:03:14.120 --> 0:03:15.320 Maybe like two and a half. 0:03:15.560 --> 0:03:16.440 Wow? And it's marble. 0:03:16.480 --> 0:03:19.840 Hey, it's marble, thick marble, thick marble. It's not what's 0:03:19.880 --> 0:03:21.200 that terror tone? 0:03:21.400 --> 0:03:21.840 Granite? 0:03:21.960 --> 0:03:23.880 Okay, it's no granite, no granite. 0:03:23.880 --> 0:03:25.720 The zero is a zeroing. And I said, you know what, 0:03:26.200 --> 0:03:27.960 maybe I have elevated in life. 0:03:28.120 --> 0:03:29.480 Can you chop on it? Or you need to use 0:03:29.520 --> 0:03:30.160 the trapping board. 0:03:30.200 --> 0:03:32.000 I definite would always use chopping board. I would never 0:03:32.280 --> 0:03:34.080 raw dog and chop on a counter. 0:03:34.720 --> 0:03:35.480 I'm about that life. 0:03:35.520 --> 0:03:37.600 It's very Caucasian of you. I know you are. I 0:03:37.680 --> 0:03:38.520 know you are. 0:03:38.520 --> 0:03:42.200 Chopping a chicken on a wooden board. So I don't 0:03:42.200 --> 0:03:45.480 have an island bench. Oh I'm currently also in between houses. 0:03:45.480 --> 0:03:47.640 But the house that I'm staying in, no island bench. 0:03:47.640 --> 0:03:49.800 I want to eat out space is at a premium 0:03:49.800 --> 0:03:53.480 in the Eastern suburbs, and unfortunately the stacks aren't stacking. 0:03:53.640 --> 0:03:55.360 So what is your living situation. 0:03:56.640 --> 0:04:00.320 Living at a friend's house? You know, Okay, we're living 0:04:00.320 --> 0:04:03.280 out of suitcases. It's a humbling experience. But no, I 0:04:03.280 --> 0:04:06.000 definitely agree with the island bench on when my family 0:04:06.000 --> 0:04:09.320 got the first island bench and finally I felt what 0:04:09.360 --> 0:04:11.480 it's like to you know, not suffer. 0:04:12.720 --> 0:04:16.520 Like reminder who had a DJ come to her school 0:04:16.560 --> 0:04:20.880 every Friday? What did you call that? And what was 0:04:20.880 --> 0:04:23.840 that a cafe you had at your high school? Mockers nice, 0:04:23.920 --> 0:04:25.279 marckers on tap nice. 0:04:26.000 --> 0:04:26.520 I like that. 0:04:26.560 --> 0:04:28.080 Theory, it's quite nice. 0:04:28.120 --> 0:04:30.640 I'm just very surprised that, you know, I know a 0:04:30.680 --> 0:04:33.159 lot of people think that games and gaming is rotting 0:04:33.240 --> 0:04:36.120 the brains of future generations, but in this kid's game. 0:04:36.120 --> 0:04:37.360 We're talking about social. 0:04:37.120 --> 0:04:42.200 Classes and showing children that there are ways to the 0:04:42.240 --> 0:04:45.440 world that should be understood in languages that they get. 0:04:45.560 --> 0:04:46.279 I love that. 0:04:46.320 --> 0:04:50.640 Children understand money. I swear when I was in year three, Oh, 0:04:51.760 --> 0:04:53.480 this would be really for Wall. 0:04:53.240 --> 0:04:54.359 Street from the womb. 0:04:55.120 --> 0:04:57.839 When I was in year three, don't know. When I 0:04:57.839 --> 0:05:01.000 was in YU three, my uncle passed away and had money. 0:05:01.839 --> 0:05:05.520 I hopey that he obviously he didn't have kids, so 0:05:05.560 --> 0:05:06.880 the money went to my parents. 0:05:07.360 --> 0:05:09.240 You say, obviously, like we all know this story. I 0:05:09.240 --> 0:05:10.120 don't know the story. 0:05:10.160 --> 0:05:14.920 Sorry, my uncle passes away, he's got money, doesn't have kids, 0:05:14.960 --> 0:05:17.680 and the money goes to my dad and his two brothers. Amazing, 0:05:17.680 --> 0:05:19.919 So we get a little, a little windfall. 0:05:20.160 --> 0:05:22.520 How did you get You're a child of the parent child. 0:05:22.880 --> 0:05:24.679 So then my parents come into a little bit of money. 0:05:24.760 --> 0:05:27.400 I'm running around the school saying my parents are rich. 0:05:27.839 --> 0:05:31.479 My parents are rich. I'm rich usually running around and 0:05:31.560 --> 0:05:32.440 I still, you know you. 0:05:32.400 --> 0:05:34.440 Have things that you do know that extra money had 0:05:34.480 --> 0:05:34.760 come in. 0:05:35.520 --> 0:05:37.600 I don't know my parents talk. My dad would talk 0:05:37.640 --> 0:05:39.400 quite openly about money, but I just knew. You know, 0:05:39.800 --> 0:05:41.120 kids know more than you think they know. 0:05:41.320 --> 0:05:42.080 Rich kids know. 0:05:44.080 --> 0:05:48.240 See poor kids don't know that's rich. Kids know that 0:05:48.240 --> 0:05:48.760 they're rich. 0:05:49.200 --> 0:05:52.039 That isn't a thing we should talk about. But get 0:05:52.040 --> 0:05:54.880 it down for he get it down, Get down and frooms. 0:05:55.080 --> 0:05:57.400 You're on cat and we are flecks and rooms. 0:05:57.960 --> 0:06:00.600 As a civil servant is my. 0:06:02.320 --> 0:06:04.640 Everyone who ks of the government is exhiling. 0:06:06.440 --> 0:06:10.719 I honestly think it's my duty to let people know 0:06:10.800 --> 0:06:13.000 when I've discovered something worth hearing about. 0:06:13.440 --> 0:06:14.000 I don't know. 0:06:14.120 --> 0:06:16.480 For some people, they can mind their business. They can 0:06:16.520 --> 0:06:19.520 read something cool and not tell a soul. As for me, 0:06:19.600 --> 0:06:23.039 it goes in the notes. Before cater it was the 0:06:23.120 --> 0:06:25.560 next person. I would have a random conversation with the 0:06:25.600 --> 0:06:28.400 cafe person, the uber driver. I was harassing them. 0:06:28.400 --> 0:06:29.000 Now I have you. 0:06:29.240 --> 0:06:32.800 I just bank them up. So this amazing, TikTok. I 0:06:32.800 --> 0:06:34.400 don't know if you really like a person. I thought 0:06:34.440 --> 0:06:36.880 it was gonna be nonsense. So I'm like being your 0:06:36.920 --> 0:06:37.839 seminine energy. 0:06:38.480 --> 0:06:40.760 No, it's actually incredible. Or listen to this. 0:06:40.760 --> 0:06:43.200 This is how I'm determined if I'm really attracted to 0:06:43.240 --> 0:06:46.000 a guy, I'll be like in my head imagining us 0:06:46.040 --> 0:06:49.200 fighting or something like an argument, and I'm like, would 0:06:49.200 --> 0:06:51.240 I say something about their appearance? Like would be like 0:06:51.640 --> 0:06:54.240 shut up with your ugly ass, or like sue so 0:06:54.360 --> 0:06:56.240 ugly anyway? Like what I text my friends and be 0:06:56.320 --> 0:06:58.680 like pas sure us or like he was sure anyway. 0:06:58.839 --> 0:07:01.280 That's how I know I should not be talking to you, 0:07:01.320 --> 0:07:03.760 because I'm convincing myself you're attractive, you know what I mean? 0:07:03.760 --> 0:07:06.040 Like it's not real, like my room always last when 0:07:06.040 --> 0:07:06.839 I say that, But I'm. 0:07:06.720 --> 0:07:13.080 Like, legit, wow, Oh. 0:07:12.360 --> 0:07:15.800 I have never related to anything less for me before 0:07:15.800 --> 0:07:19.200 we dissect that video, because to be honest, it's just 0:07:19.240 --> 0:07:21.640 a jumping off point for a greater conversation that must 0:07:21.640 --> 0:07:25.960 happen sooner than later. How do you know when you're 0:07:26.040 --> 0:07:27.320 really attracted to someone? 0:07:27.720 --> 0:07:30.440 Oh my god, I was actually having this conversation with 0:07:30.520 --> 0:07:37.679 somebody yesterday about their attraction to to someone. I'm getting 0:07:37.720 --> 0:07:39.760 not sure about it, do you know? 0:07:39.840 --> 0:07:40.760 Yeah, We've got to think about it. 0:07:40.760 --> 0:07:42.520 Do you actually have a crush on this person? Or 0:07:43.040 --> 0:07:44.520 does this part of them really annoy me? 0:07:44.640 --> 0:07:47.400 This is the curse of having a brain. Why we 0:07:47.480 --> 0:07:48.640 always got to think about stuff? 0:07:48.680 --> 0:07:48.840 Oh? 0:07:48.880 --> 0:07:50.200 Do I really like them? 0:07:50.440 --> 0:07:52.880 We need to go back to aunt Farms. There's one 0:07:52.960 --> 0:07:55.200 queen vibe for the queen, and if you don't get it, 0:07:55.240 --> 0:07:58.640 you're still an aunt. Okay, I definitely relate to this video. 0:07:58.800 --> 0:08:00.000 Wait, so why did you coach them through it? 0:08:00.560 --> 0:08:00.640 Oh? 0:08:00.680 --> 0:08:01.320 I didn't really. 0:08:01.800 --> 0:08:03.520 Oh you're just listening, Yes, just listening. 0:08:05.440 --> 0:08:07.720 I've definitely done the thing where I used to be 0:08:07.720 --> 0:08:10.760 obsessed with certain body features on other people. So if 0:08:10.760 --> 0:08:12.760 they had a certain thing, I'd struggle to get over it, 0:08:13.160 --> 0:08:14.960 and it was always related to something that I was 0:08:14.960 --> 0:08:15.760 insecure about. 0:08:15.960 --> 0:08:17.160 Oh you talked about a nose thing. 0:08:17.360 --> 0:08:22.360 Yeah, so then I would, But I would never I 0:08:22.360 --> 0:08:25.600 don't think i'd ever say, oh, he's x y Z 0:08:25.800 --> 0:08:29.800 to a friend. What's exploit she says, Oh, but he's 0:08:29.800 --> 0:08:30.520 short anyway? 0:08:30.960 --> 0:08:32.160 Ohyay. See, I wouldn't do that. 0:08:32.559 --> 0:08:35.240 If I'm going to chuck a low blow, it's got 0:08:35.240 --> 0:08:37.920 to be something about like, it's got to hit the core. 0:08:38.200 --> 0:08:41.760 Yeah, something about their core personality, not necessarily something that 0:08:41.800 --> 0:08:43.160 they can't fix. 0:08:43.360 --> 0:08:45.640 Yeah, definitely what I should be. 0:08:46.120 --> 0:08:48.400 I when I thought when I first with this video, 0:08:48.559 --> 0:08:52.880 I reminded myself how I distinguished between people that I 0:08:52.960 --> 0:08:54.240 can acknowledge are attractive. 0:08:54.600 --> 0:08:56.040 First, people I'm attracted too. 0:08:57.440 --> 0:09:00.160 I feel like most people might Yeah they're attractive, I 0:09:00.160 --> 0:09:04.000 can see him, But am I attracted to you, I 0:09:04.040 --> 0:09:08.079 don't know, wow, okay, And the the I don't know, 0:09:08.360 --> 0:09:10.280 like what is going to make me more certain? It's 0:09:10.320 --> 0:09:12.720 just context, Like I just need to see you or 0:09:12.800 --> 0:09:16.360 experience you in a different context and I'm probably sold. 0:09:16.679 --> 0:09:18.600 Right, Okay, So you really go with your gut on 0:09:18.640 --> 0:09:21.120 who you find attractive. But honestly, I've seen some of 0:09:21.160 --> 0:09:25.400 your history, and you tend to like conventionally attractive people. 0:09:25.480 --> 0:09:26.480 I've got taste. 0:09:29.360 --> 0:09:31.440 Who doesn't like I'm not one of those people who 0:09:31.480 --> 0:09:36.160 are like I like medium ugly, So for no, I 0:09:36.240 --> 0:09:39.960 like a handsome beautiful person. But I feel like it's 0:09:39.960 --> 0:09:42.360 handsome beautiful to me, you know what I'm saying, Like 0:09:42.760 --> 0:09:44.600 the way I'm writing hard for Robert Pattinson. 0:09:45.320 --> 0:09:46.480 That's a quirky looking dude. 0:09:46.880 --> 0:09:48.520 He's like the hottest person on the earth. 0:09:48.600 --> 0:09:50.160 Yeah, but that's because he's an actor. 0:09:50.960 --> 0:09:54.280 If you saw that man on the street going through 0:09:54.320 --> 0:09:58.480 the coals, the coals are five in the music, while 0:09:58.559 --> 0:10:01.000 you're not, you're not like look double look checking not 0:10:01.200 --> 0:10:02.080 just someone's boyfriend. 0:10:02.120 --> 0:10:04.040 There was a guy at my school a few years older, 0:10:04.160 --> 0:10:07.320 and he was literally a spit. In fact, we'll get 0:10:07.360 --> 0:10:10.160 a photo arp after his recording and he was hot, 0:10:10.559 --> 0:10:11.120 kind of weird. 0:10:12.280 --> 0:10:14.679 Yeah, I think we like them quirky. Yeah, it must 0:10:14.720 --> 0:10:17.559 be it anyway. So how you to be really attracted 0:10:17.559 --> 0:10:21.120 to someone? You just never know? It's a vibe, catch 0:10:21.160 --> 0:10:22.000 it and let it go. 0:10:22.440 --> 0:10:25.600 I did read something it's about deciding with your gut 0:10:25.840 --> 0:10:27.760 and going with it like this kind of relations to 0:10:28.080 --> 0:10:30.480 I was reading this thing yesterday from the cut and 0:10:30.520 --> 0:10:32.920 it was like what to do if you can't decide 0:10:32.960 --> 0:10:35.839 if you should be with someone? And it said you 0:10:36.000 --> 0:10:37.640 just you're never gonna know, so you just have to 0:10:37.679 --> 0:10:38.959 go dah, just. 0:10:38.920 --> 0:10:41.240 Do it, just pick and so like naturally I'm going 0:10:41.280 --> 0:10:42.520 to pick a six foot five king. 0:10:44.080 --> 0:10:45.280 With what color hair? 0:10:46.480 --> 0:10:50.439 Let's not get into that TVC. Actually I did say 0:10:50.480 --> 0:10:53.080 on a I'm bringing back short king spring, so my 0:10:53.200 --> 0:10:56.280 five nine kings, I'm making room for you, and I'll 0:10:56.280 --> 0:10:57.400 do it on my own if I need to. 0:10:57.600 --> 0:10:59.600 I don't need anyone to support me on that one. 0:10:59.640 --> 0:11:02.640 I see myself with this short king. Nice, I don't 0:11:02.640 --> 0:11:06.160 see height, Okay and done, thank you. 0:11:06.640 --> 0:11:11.040 So the point is in summary, all respect to short kings. Yep, 0:11:11.720 --> 0:11:14.440 like what you like, be really sure about it. There's 0:11:14.440 --> 0:11:17.520 nothing worse than someone who's who says they're begrudgingly attracted 0:11:17.559 --> 0:11:22.840 to other people, like straight people who are like heterophobes. 0:11:23.240 --> 0:11:27.679 So scary, Yeah, so scary. That's a very modern phenomenon. 0:11:27.720 --> 0:11:31.040 Literally, it's so lame. Anyway, let's be done. 0:11:31.160 --> 0:11:33.839 Okay, that might be one more thing. When I had 0:11:33.840 --> 0:11:37.840 a hinge, the profile was I'm weirdly attracted to men. 0:11:38.440 --> 0:11:39.200 Oh that's what you put. 0:11:39.360 --> 0:11:42.400 Yeah, that seemed to be pop up on the social. 0:11:42.120 --> 0:11:46.800 Be done, but has it though it's back. If you're 0:11:46.800 --> 0:11:48.040 still on apps, you would. 0:11:47.760 --> 0:11:51.440 Know, Oh yeah, I'm a bit off. Anyway, manifesting manifesting 0:11:51.600 --> 0:11:56.520 join us. This is flex and frooms. I want to 0:11:56.559 --> 0:11:59.000 talk about therapy and therapist. The other day we were 0:11:59.000 --> 0:12:02.000 talking about how do you break up with your therapist? 0:12:02.480 --> 0:12:07.000 I talked about how I had a psychologist I canceled 0:12:07.000 --> 0:12:08.960 within twenty four hours? Did you try to charge me? 0:12:09.360 --> 0:12:12.000 And I was quite pissed off about that, without realizing 0:12:12.000 --> 0:12:14.600 that she's a sole contractor, a business person, and I 0:12:14.600 --> 0:12:17.640 am what a small business eating into a bottom line. 0:12:18.360 --> 0:12:20.600 But we also talked about what happens if a therapist 0:12:20.679 --> 0:12:24.600 breaks up with you. Yeah, and it made me recall 0:12:24.679 --> 0:12:26.440 a story that one of my good friends told me 0:12:26.520 --> 0:12:29.240 about his cousin. He's gone to the cousin, and the 0:12:29.280 --> 0:12:31.560 cousin has sent me this voice note. It's a minute 0:12:31.640 --> 0:12:34.120 and twenty one seconds went into it. 0:12:34.720 --> 0:12:39.800 I was saying my therapist probably for about eight months, 0:12:41.640 --> 0:12:45.720 I thought, well, getting some good work in. It'd been 0:12:46.320 --> 0:12:51.440 I don't know, like twelve sessions potentially, and I went 0:12:51.480 --> 0:12:55.120 into one session one day and he was just like, 0:12:55.800 --> 0:12:59.600 what's on your mind now? It was just like scared 0:12:59.600 --> 0:13:03.880 to say I don't know, or like, you know, I think. 0:13:03.880 --> 0:13:07.120 I always just wanted to, like, you know, say the 0:13:07.200 --> 0:13:10.199 right things. I was like cautious of that. And then 0:13:10.200 --> 0:13:13.160 he turns around to me and he was just like, look, damon, 0:13:13.200 --> 0:13:15.360 this is our twelfth session and you've got no goals? 0:13:15.800 --> 0:13:23.040 Should we even keep going? And I was like like, 0:13:24.760 --> 0:13:28.720 am I supposed to have goals? Like he essentially just 0:13:28.760 --> 0:13:32.760 like broke up with me. And I was just like, yeah, okay, 0:13:32.880 --> 0:13:37.600 we can stop seeing each other like whatever, like that's fine. 0:13:38.559 --> 0:13:40.160 And he was just like, you can come back to 0:13:40.200 --> 0:13:43.000 me when you've got girls, and I was like okay, 0:13:43.440 --> 0:13:47.560 see yeah, And that's how my therapist broke up with me. 0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:49.120 He said, come back when you want to be a 0:13:49.120 --> 0:13:52.640 better person. Missingdirection. Please you wasting my time? That is hectic, 0:13:52.960 --> 0:13:55.320 But this is also my my issue, not my issue, 0:13:55.320 --> 0:13:58.040 but something I've noticed with people who go to therapy 0:13:58.040 --> 0:14:01.720 and experienced therapy. It can be so directionless. You're like, 0:14:01.760 --> 0:14:04.040 what are we doing here? Because I don't actually know 0:14:04.080 --> 0:14:06.720 why I'm here. I just heard that if you want 0:14:06.760 --> 0:14:08.600 to be self actualized and a better person, shop me go. 0:14:09.000 --> 0:14:11.960 But now i'm here, you keep asking me what I want. 0:14:12.280 --> 0:14:13.360 I didn't choose to be here. 0:14:13.440 --> 0:14:15.880 You al said this was a good idea to today 0:14:15.880 --> 0:14:17.680 you're getting punished because it's been six months. 0:14:17.720 --> 0:14:18.400 You don't have goals? 0:14:18.440 --> 0:14:19.520 Well should we? 0:14:19.760 --> 0:14:21.160 Let's let's make some goals. 0:14:22.000 --> 0:14:25.320 What the goals thing? I'm sure a lot of people 0:14:25.320 --> 0:14:27.400 go to therapy because they don't have goals full stop. 0:14:27.520 --> 0:14:32.680 So why isn't this therapist thinking I'm seeing a patternly, Yeah, 0:14:32.720 --> 0:14:34.920 it's it's so interesting. It must be interesting as a 0:14:34.920 --> 0:14:38.880 clinician to know how much you should push something first. 0:14:38.960 --> 0:14:42.360 Let the person just talk. Sounds like it just wasn't 0:14:42.360 --> 0:14:42.840 a good fit. 0:14:43.320 --> 0:14:46.240 Yeah, I would hate that feeling of someone who is 0:14:46.320 --> 0:14:51.440 specialized to help giving up on me and like preemptively 0:14:51.520 --> 0:14:53.280 being like, I don't really think we'll get anywhere we 0:14:53.320 --> 0:14:55.160 haven't even tried, and you're like, yeah, I don't want 0:14:55.160 --> 0:14:55.720 to do it any more. 0:14:55.720 --> 0:14:58.280 Sorry, I mean, twelve sessions is a fair crack. 0:14:58.560 --> 0:15:00.120 That's very much fel sessions. 0:15:00.320 --> 0:15:02.880 Like I went to therapy and I was obviously trying 0:15:02.880 --> 0:15:04.760 to be the best student there, so I was like, 0:15:04.840 --> 0:15:06.360 I'll I'll tell you anyway. 0:15:06.840 --> 0:15:07.600 Come into my head. 0:15:07.800 --> 0:15:09.160 But I've spoken to other people who are like, oh, 0:15:09.160 --> 0:15:11.320 I don't tell my therapists the truth. I don't know them, 0:15:11.520 --> 0:15:13.120 Like I want to get to know them first, where 0:15:13.160 --> 0:15:15.440 I tell them my trauma. And I understand that it's 0:15:15.480 --> 0:15:18.240 a weird thing to go to a space with a 0:15:18.280 --> 0:15:22.480 stranger and tell them everything and not carry any fear, 0:15:22.560 --> 0:15:25.720 guilt or shame about that process. So it doesn't surprise 0:15:25.760 --> 0:15:27.840 me that it'll take someone, you know, four five, six, 0:15:27.960 --> 0:15:30.280 twelve sessions to be like, Okay, maybe now I can 0:15:30.400 --> 0:15:32.440 start telling you the truth. He even said I was 0:15:32.480 --> 0:15:35.000 too scared to say, like, I don't know what I 0:15:35.040 --> 0:15:37.240 want to say, I don't know what I'm thinking, Like 0:15:37.360 --> 0:15:40.240 that is a fundamental issue. He doesn't feel safe to 0:15:40.280 --> 0:15:43.000 even express that. The work has not even begun. 0:15:43.760 --> 0:15:47.800 So maybe it's on the therapist it is that shuld 0:15:47.960 --> 0:15:50.400 going to a session. Oh you need. 0:15:50.280 --> 0:15:53.600 Therapy for the therapy. Don't therapists have to get therapy? 0:15:53.720 --> 0:15:56.400 It is yes, yeah, it's for good bloody reason. 0:15:58.160 --> 0:16:00.800 This is flex and frooms on Kita. 0:16:01.200 --> 0:16:03.840 I single mom of two hired a babysitter after I 0:16:03.880 --> 0:16:06.320 started working a new job. I used to work from 0:16:06.360 --> 0:16:09.280 home for two years. My kids are eight and six. 0:16:09.680 --> 0:16:12.680 The babysitter is seventeen. She brings her laptop with her 0:16:12.720 --> 0:16:14.840 to study, which is perfectly okay with me, as long 0:16:14.880 --> 0:16:16.080 as she keeps an eye on the kids. 0:16:16.320 --> 0:16:16.760 Of course. 0:16:16.920 --> 0:16:19.560 Yesterday I came home and the babysitter showed me her 0:16:19.600 --> 0:16:23.400 laptop that got broken by my youngest. I was shocked 0:16:23.440 --> 0:16:25.560 and I asked how this happened, and she said that 0:16:25.600 --> 0:16:27.480 she left the laptop in the living room and went 0:16:27.520 --> 0:16:30.000 to make the kids lunch, but my youngest scrabbed it 0:16:30.040 --> 0:16:31.800 and ran with it till he dropped it and broke 0:16:31.840 --> 0:16:35.160 the screen. I said that was horrible and apologized to her, 0:16:35.400 --> 0:16:37.720 but stated it was her fault for leaving the laptop 0:16:37.760 --> 0:16:40.600 within the reach of the children. She said she thought 0:16:40.600 --> 0:16:42.400 my kids were old enough to know not to touch 0:16:42.440 --> 0:16:45.120 others stuff. I explained how I might have thought it 0:16:45.160 --> 0:16:47.960 belonged to us since it was in our house. She 0:16:48.200 --> 0:16:49.920 asked if I could pay for it to get fixed, 0:16:50.160 --> 0:16:53.080 and I refused and insisted it was her problem, not mine. 0:16:53.520 --> 0:16:55.880 She ranted about having exams soon and not having enough 0:16:55.880 --> 0:16:59.000 money to get it fixed. We argued, and I had 0:16:59.040 --> 0:17:02.560 to tell her to go home. She persisted. Later on, 0:17:02.640 --> 0:17:04.840 I got a call from her dad basically blaming the 0:17:04.880 --> 0:17:07.360 whole thing on me and demanding I pay to get 0:17:07.359 --> 0:17:11.000 a laptop fixed. But I still refuse. But now she's 0:17:11.040 --> 0:17:13.679 refusing to come again unless I pay for the laptop prepare, 0:17:14.040 --> 0:17:16.840 even though I paid her in advance to watch the kids. 0:17:17.280 --> 0:17:19.480 Oh we're at a stalemate. 0:17:19.720 --> 0:17:22.280 We really are. I do love a stalemate. Shout out 0:17:22.320 --> 0:17:25.760 to Chess Shadow Queen scam it. 0:17:28.640 --> 0:17:32.880 Anyway, love real world problems. This is a real world problem. 0:17:33.320 --> 0:17:36.359 Usually we're like, you know, my boyfriend is a terrible person, 0:17:36.440 --> 0:17:37.080 but I love him. 0:17:37.080 --> 0:17:38.240 What were you try to do? 0:17:38.960 --> 0:17:42.120 Yeah? This has ramifications? Who should pay? 0:17:42.160 --> 0:17:45.600 Flex? I? Okay, I'm in two minds. 0:17:45.720 --> 0:17:48.960 I'm the kind of person I want things resolved as 0:17:49.040 --> 0:17:53.320 easily as possible, and that often means shouldering the responsibility 0:17:53.359 --> 0:17:56.320 of what is not your responsibility. So in this instance, 0:17:56.400 --> 0:18:00.320 if I was the mother, or if I had asked 0:18:00.359 --> 0:18:03.240 someone with the responsibility of looking after my thing, and 0:18:03.280 --> 0:18:06.000 while they were doing that, their thing got broken, I 0:18:06.000 --> 0:18:08.760 would feel some kind of responsibility and I would shoulder 0:18:08.800 --> 0:18:11.040 that It's okay, I've got you, I'll pay for it, 0:18:11.040 --> 0:18:16.440 It's all good. However, generally, in this instance, the babysitters 0:18:16.480 --> 0:18:19.600 brought her laptop to you know, around six year olds 0:18:19.600 --> 0:18:21.720 and eight year olds. Now, children are children to me. 0:18:22.400 --> 0:18:24.359 I mean, twenty five year olds are children to me. 0:18:24.680 --> 0:18:27.359 Something was bound to go wrong. If you've left your 0:18:27.440 --> 0:18:29.600 laptop somewhere and the kid has broken it, take the 0:18:29.800 --> 0:18:33.120 l Take the l you're gonna make the mum pay 0:18:33.960 --> 0:18:36.919 and then threatening to not come and look after the 0:18:37.000 --> 0:18:39.920 kids when you've already been paid to do so. Take 0:18:39.920 --> 0:18:41.800 the l bay. 0:18:41.960 --> 0:18:45.600 Look, I'm family disagreeing with that. Okay, if you're six 0:18:45.640 --> 0:18:48.639 and you're eight, you understand not to break things. 0:18:49.040 --> 0:18:51.439