Speaker 1: You are oh fair the one.
Speaker 2: De Yeah. I'm saying that because people keep saying, you
Speaker 2: guys look like you got to try to fuck each other.
Speaker 1: The storytelling, i think, is what's doing it for you.
Speaker 2: Do you watch it back and go, we look like
Speaker 2: we want to fuck each other.
Speaker 1: We're probably one really really funny joke away from kissing.
Speaker 2: Welcome back to two doting daddying Maddy J.
Speaker 1: Sorry what sure again?
Speaker 2: Welcome back to two doting dads. I am Maddie J.
Speaker 1: And I'm Mash.
Speaker 2: This is a conversation all about parenting, the good, the bad.
Speaker 1: And the relatable.
Speaker 2: And we have to also say at this point, if
Speaker 2: you're coming for any type of.
Speaker 1: Advice, steer clear, child right now.
Speaker 2: I have to say, right now, you may be thinking
Speaker 2: that doesn't sound like Maddie JA. It is me. I
Speaker 2: have overcome. It's not been easy, man, flu I'm coming
Speaker 2: out the other end.
Speaker 1: I know you've been complaining about it all week. I
Speaker 1: feel sorry for.
Speaker 2: I've persevered. I've made sure. You messaged me the other
Speaker 2: day and you were, like I said, I can't recall,
Speaker 2: but I feel good.
Speaker 1: I didn't complain undertones undertones of complaint.
Speaker 2: It's been tough. It's been tough.
Speaker 1: You sound like Darren Lockyer Brisbane. Great, Yes, you like that.
Speaker 2: I sound like I've been kicked in the throat with
Speaker 2: a pair of football boots.
Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, which chain smoker now? I actually and none
Speaker 1: of that digital stuff, all that analogue. It's back on
Speaker 1: the Winnie Reds.
Speaker 2: I kind of like it when you read no, I
Speaker 2: kind of like that. Yeah, it makes me sound more rugged.
Speaker 1: I'll punch in the throat and you can be like
Speaker 1: that forever mate.
Speaker 2: I'd a bit of full play.
Speaker 1: Yeah, there would be a lot of women like right now?
Speaker 1: I like it?
Speaker 2: Is it off? Putting? It all being? Was it someone
Speaker 2: who's got now such a rugged, husky voice.
Speaker 1: Look, you'll get used to it. I've had to earn.
Speaker 1: I've had to earn this voice. It doesn't come naturally.
Speaker 2: Were you ever a smoker? Did you smoke? Yeah?
Speaker 1: I used to smoke when I was a young lad.
Speaker 2: Why did you stop?
Speaker 1: I don't know, I just like stopped. I think it's
Speaker 1: just it's just not cool anymore.
Speaker 2: Right.
Speaker 1: I think April hated it for so long and then
Speaker 1: I just like stopped smoking sober, as a lot of
Speaker 1: people do when they drink, they smoke as well, maybe
Speaker 1: not so much these days because the vaping and then yeah,
Speaker 1: just all of a sudden and now a cigarette repulses me,
Speaker 1: Like I can't even walk behind someone smoking a ciggy
Speaker 1: with Like I got a friend who I was telling
Speaker 1: this to him the other day. He's just he's an
Speaker 1: ex smoker now on the vape, and I was, I
Speaker 1: can't even walk behind someone who's smoking. I've got to
Speaker 1: like dodge the smoke because of the smell. Just everything
Speaker 1: about I don't know, I hold my breath sometimes I
Speaker 1: feel like such an ass, Like come on me. He
Speaker 1: just smoke like a pack of day now. And he
Speaker 1: was like, I love it, just straight it was, I
Speaker 1: love it so much anyway, speaking of cancer, really something
Speaker 1: a little bit, a little bit more important. It's testicular awareness.
Speaker 2: But it is. Who would have thought we'd be doing
Speaker 2: such a serious message, But this is an important one.
Speaker 2: It is very important because I know, I'm very guilty
Speaker 2: of thinking that I'm entirely invincible, aside from manflu.
Speaker 1: Yes, aside from manflu. And whereas you know, testicular cancer
Speaker 1: is one of the most common.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's like number one.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's up there.
Speaker 2: Actually always thought it was like an old man's cancer.
Speaker 1: Old man cancer. Yeah, I thought that was like we
Speaker 1: just refer to cancer now as old man cancer. But
Speaker 1: it's not. It's a young man's game, Matthew.
Speaker 2: It is, but it's very easy to treat. Actually, just
Speaker 2: gotta like literally spotted early. And the reason to spotted
Speaker 2: early is by checking your nuts, fondling your nuts.
Speaker 1: And I fondle every day anyway. So now when a
Speaker 1: processed me, get your hand out of your pants, I'm like, babe,
Speaker 1: this could save my life, my dick. Fondeling could save
Speaker 1: my life.
Speaker 2: I wish I knew the reason for this. But they
Speaker 2: say the best time to fondle your nuts is inside
Speaker 2: the shower steamy.
Speaker 1: Yeah, they also hang a lot lower with a bit
Speaker 1: of heat. Steam. Yeah, especially in winter. Minor within me
Speaker 1: at the moment, if you reach down and try to
Speaker 1: grab a handful.
Speaker 2: Of my nuts, there's nothing that little pellets.
Speaker 1: Pellets, but I've checked them and they're good. Yeah, they
Speaker 1: feel good.
Speaker 2: And if you do spot any kind of weird lump,
Speaker 2: straight to your gp gp gp that shit right up?
Speaker 2: Are we saving laves right now?
Speaker 1: Absolutely?
Speaker 2: Who?
Speaker 1: I would consider myself a laugh saver after just mentioning it.
Speaker 2: See the people listing right now. You're welcome.
Speaker 1: I never thought that I would tell people that I
Speaker 1: found on one nuts every day and then consider myself
Speaker 1: a laugh saver. But I've just done it.
Speaker 2: One of the reasons why it really sucks that I'm
Speaker 2: sick right now. Ash, I've told you this story before,
Speaker 2: but I've got a race coming up next Sunday, the
Speaker 2: twenty first of this month, this Sunday coming and I'm
Speaker 2: racing against my brother in law. It's a ten k run.
Speaker 2: He is someone who is extreme fit. He's like the
Speaker 2: stereotypical alpha male. He's a builder. His name's Bill, Oh
Speaker 2: my gosh, and he wrestles bear.
Speaker 1: Does he have a kelpie?
Speaker 2: He had a German shorthaired pointer, okay, which is kind
Speaker 2: of like a.
Speaker 1: He's a man's man.
Speaker 2: He would shake my hand.
Speaker 1: Squeeze the ship out of it.
Speaker 2: And just squeeze it until I.
Speaker 1: Would like, do you ever just like sneak a finger
Speaker 1: in there and rub a palm that I really bring
Speaker 1: him back down to earth.
Speaker 2: But he said to me, he said, I bet you
Speaker 2: I could beat you in a running race. And I
Speaker 2: used to be a good runner.
Speaker 1: A second, what are you guys in kindergarten, does the fastest,
Speaker 1: Whoever the fastest, get the girl.
Speaker 2: I don't remember how this came up.
Speaker 1: I think it was it's a bit like my dad's
Speaker 1: vast than your dad.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it was a bit of a dick showing competition.
Speaker 1: And I've seen you as it's handsome, right.
Speaker 2: I think it was in front of his mates at
Speaker 2: a Sunday barbecue, like a few beers, and he was
Speaker 2: just staunching me in front of his mates, and I
Speaker 2: think I said, no, mate, I'm a pretty good runner.
Speaker 2: I can beat you. So the competition is whoever losers
Speaker 2: has to then get a tattoo of a turtle on
Speaker 2: their body somewhere, which for me is fine because I've
Speaker 2: got a few tattoos.
Speaker 1: Anyway, a couple of tough stickers.
Speaker 2: But for him, he's clean skin, got none, he's got
Speaker 2: nothing nice.
Speaker 1: But he's he got to beat him. He's got in
Speaker 1: the perspective.
Speaker 2: How much of an athletic freak he is. He did
Speaker 2: an ultra marathon.
Speaker 1: Can' oh you're done for.
Speaker 2: Like hundreds of kilometers and if you finish within fourteen hours,
Speaker 2: it's considered elite. It's elite level. You get like it
Speaker 2: with minimal training and also keeping in mind that only
Speaker 2: half of the people actually finished the race. He did
Speaker 2: it in like thirteen hours forty something, so he finished.
Speaker 1: Within Like, holy shit, what I've.
Speaker 2: Been training really hard. I've been training.
Speaker 1: I've noticed, I've noticed you keep telling me like you're
Speaker 1: in the prime of Villa.
Speaker 2: This is the fittest I've ever been. And I said
Speaker 2: to myself, the only thing that would derail me is
Speaker 2: if I get sick and fucking what happened?
Speaker 1: Weak out? Are you fitter now than you were when
Speaker 1: you're on the Bachelor, Like obviously you would have worked
Speaker 1: hard so that like you're going to be on national
Speaker 1: TV every second night of the week with your abs out.
Speaker 1: I mean, granted you were younger.
Speaker 2: I put on a bit of size because I'm pretty skinny.
Speaker 1: Like that's I wasn't gonna say.
Speaker 2: I mean seagulls, I snashed the creating.
Speaker 1: Before Bachelor, yeah, water retention, yeah yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: Whereas now a bit more leaner.
Speaker 1: You are, you've got to run his body, yeah yeah.
Speaker 2: But it's also what's added, not to complain ash, what's
Speaker 2: added to the situation is the fact that Laura has
Speaker 2: effectively left me, what do you mean she's doing dancing
Speaker 2: with austrayas worst kept secret? Was it obvious?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, she's looking fit that I was looking at
Speaker 1: it like that. Well, but like, yeah, and she's married
Speaker 1: to you. So also I've noticed yesterday she was teasing
Speaker 1: what it is or what it could tell that she's
Speaker 1: been working hard. So look, it wasn't a huge surprise
Speaker 1: to all of us, but it's obviously happy for her.
Speaker 2: But yeah, I'm glad you're happy for me. It fucking sucks.
Speaker 2: I'm now getting a taste of what it would be
Speaker 2: like if we got a divorce and I was on
Speaker 2: my own.
Speaker 1: Parent brutal, and she got the weekend visit. It's not you, yes, yes,
Speaker 1: so you're the primary care I.
Speaker 2: Literally have just thought, I think for anyone out there's
Speaker 2: a single parent, fuck me, like.
Speaker 1: I don't know how they do.
Speaker 2: I don't do not know how you do it.
Speaker 1: It's unbelievable. Look I do it for an afternoon and
Speaker 1: I'm like, oh my god, I need like three days rest.
Speaker 2: It's hard. But they're only plus from this being the
Speaker 2: only parent in the mix right now because Laura literally
Speaker 2: like she's out the door at seven o'clock. She's got
Speaker 2: in the podcast radio jury business. She does a million things,
Speaker 2: and then she trains in the evening, so she'll come
Speaker 2: home for a little bit, then go back out train
Speaker 2: till like ten thirty. But because I'm literally like the
Speaker 2: only person who's look after my children. The other night,
Speaker 2: Laura came home right as we're about to have shower
Speaker 2: time with the kids. And this is the first time
Speaker 2: it's ever happened, and for me, it was quite a
Speaker 2: significant moment where Laura came in and she rushed her
Speaker 2: Marling and Lola because she hadn't seen them all day,
Speaker 2: and she said.
Speaker 1: She felt bad, a little bit of parent girl for sure.
Speaker 2: She she is like she's you know, so when she
Speaker 2: comes home she wants to get straight into it and
Speaker 2: give them all of her attention. And as she rushed in,
Speaker 2: Marley put her hand out was like, Mum, stopped right there.
Speaker 2: I want dad to give me a shower.
Speaker 1: Sweet justice. See, who'd have thought that actually parenting your
Speaker 1: children would pay off? Because I'm not. I'm only out
Speaker 1: of the spectrum where they just like obsessed, obsessed with Mum.
Speaker 1: If I get a cuddle in it's like yes, but
Speaker 1: like to be the preferred parent at the time.
Speaker 2: It's it's fucking beautiful.
Speaker 1: I mean, I'm not putting legs.
Speaker 2: It's amazing. Also does kind of suck because you then.
Speaker 1: Have to then like leave up to that standard.
Speaker 2: Laura can take a break.
Speaker 1: I can't drop the ball now, big boy.
Speaker 2: Yeah number one right now, it's good spot to be.
Speaker 2: How long will it last?
Speaker 1: I don't know, probably too the weekend and.
Speaker 2: Yeah, well I think she's got she's got like three
Speaker 2: more weeks left that could Well, it's not live anymore.
Speaker 2: It's all pre recording.
Speaker 1: Trust live people anymore.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so it's all pre recorded.
Speaker 1: Cancel people get canceled anything live.
Speaker 2: And then as soon as it finishes, I'm out.
Speaker 1: You're a moving now I'm out.
Speaker 2: But like I'm going to sound like such aa, so
Speaker 2: just carry on. Lola and I have got this thing
Speaker 2: now where your besties is where I give her a
Speaker 2: little cuddle before she goes down for a sleep at nighttime.
Speaker 2: And now it's become a thing because.
Speaker 1: It's a habit. Now you've created a bad habit.
Speaker 2: It's the routine. And Laura was putting her to bed
Speaker 2: and she was saying cuddle, and I said to Laura
Speaker 2: like kind of came in and said, you know, like
Speaker 2: it's you know you're trying, but.
Speaker 1: We actually this is how you do it.
Speaker 2: Laura is like, what the fuck has happened? And I
Speaker 2: give her like a little thing.
Speaker 1: She's she's on the as she's on the out. If
Speaker 1: this was Survivor, this week's not looking good for her.
Speaker 1: She'd better have her hidden immunity somewhere.
Speaker 2: I'm down the park with all the mums and.
Speaker 1: I'm like, why don't you going to the mother's Day.
Speaker 2: We've got an afternoon tea at daycare, which is for
Speaker 2: the mums. We're recording this before Mother's Day if anyone's confused,
Speaker 2: and Laura can't make it.
Speaker 1: Because she's dancing with another star gutted.
Speaker 2: So I'm going to rock up and I'll be there.
Speaker 1: Choken, dad, Hey, who's to say? Like, dad's kimmi? Mums too.
Speaker 1: On that note, we should probably wish all the mother's
Speaker 1: a very happy Mother's Day, because of course mother's are
Speaker 1: parents too, absolutely not just dads.
Speaker 2: I'm always surprised at how many moms are listening to
Speaker 2: the podcast. I always thought it would just be.
Speaker 1: Like, because there's no judgment here. I think.
Speaker 2: No, this is the same space if you're a parent,
Speaker 2: even if you're.
Speaker 1: If you hate your kids, we get it.
Speaker 2: Come take see and get comfy.
Speaker 1: Speaking of mothers, I've had mine here. She was here
Speaker 1: for a couple of days.
Speaker 2: She's on the Gold Coast now.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Yeah, so she's been in Sydney for like two weeks,
Speaker 1: staying with my sister, who the favorite is there.
Speaker 2: Remind me, your sister has.
Speaker 1: One child and I have two. Okay, but my sister
Speaker 1: needs more help. I've got more of a support network
Speaker 1: over here with April's parents and so forth. So anyway,
Speaker 1: I was down at the shopping center just down the
Speaker 1: road from my house my mom. That's been there since
Speaker 1: the eighties is shopping center. Of course it's been revamped,
Speaker 1: but there's I came out there right the Camart has
Speaker 1: been there the whole time, and I was walking into
Speaker 1: came up with my mom and my son, who's nearly four.
Speaker 1: My mom goes, oh, this flashbacks. I was like, what
Speaker 1: do you mean flashbacks because Oscar wouldn't hold my hand,
Speaker 1: he just wanted to run. She's like, just flashbacks of
Speaker 1: coming to came up when you were that age. I said, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: He's like, you wouldn't hold my hand, and then one
Speaker 1: day you just ran off. She was just like I
Speaker 1: had to save you. I was like, what do you
Speaker 1: mean to save me? And she was like, you'll run
Speaker 1: off and some guy made the eyes at you, and
Speaker 1: I was like what. She was like yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: and you ran down like this thing, and he kind
Speaker 1: of went after you. And Mom's like, this guy's going
Speaker 1: to abduct my child after you after me?
Speaker 2: Surely not.
Speaker 1: Yeah. He apparently was just like lingering around. And at
Speaker 1: this point, I'm like, what the fuck are you talking about.
Speaker 1: I've never known this, and she was like yeah, yeah,
Speaker 1: Like it got to the point where I had to
Speaker 1: like snatch you off him, and I was like, how
Speaker 1: dare you? I could have been one of those children
Speaker 1: that was abducted. So essentially, I've just found out in
Speaker 1: my thirties that I was this closed to being abducted.
Speaker 2: Wow, did you call the cops?
Speaker 1: No, she said, I just grabbed her gave him the eyes.
Speaker 1: What do you mean, gave him the eyes of the nineties, He.
Speaker 2: Tried to fucking abduct her child and she gave him
Speaker 2: the eyes. I'd be like calling the fucking.
Speaker 1: Brain and I came home just before and I said
Speaker 1: to everyone like I was nearly abducted, just like today.
Speaker 1: I'm like, no, I'm thirty two, no one wants me.
Speaker 2: I'm used up now you're look it came up just
Speaker 2: like anybody want me?
Speaker 1: I got one, I was saying free, and I was
Speaker 1: just like in shock, but also like that's.
Speaker 2: Quite big for your mom just to be like, oh,
Speaker 2: by the way, yeah, do you want this topics to
Speaker 2: size small for Oscar? And you almost got abducted when
Speaker 2: you were four years I like.
Speaker 1: Right here, you almost got abducted when you were this age.
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, you're right, it's back at the
Speaker 2: scene of the grant.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: And instead, you.
Speaker 1: Know what my life could have been if that guy
Speaker 1: came out of Yeah, to be fair, people do nasty things.
Speaker 1: I'll probably be dead. But walking through Camart and I
Speaker 1: was just like trying to wrap my head around it,
Speaker 1: like that's how close I could have been to being abducted.
Speaker 2: If that had happened, we would.
Speaker 1: Happy Mother's Day to my life.
Speaker 2: Holy shit.
Speaker 1: Yeah, honestly can't believe that.
Speaker 2: I wonder if it was, like I mean, was it
Speaker 2: just a case of this guy, was you know, saw
Speaker 2: this young chap running towards him, and.
Speaker 1: He apparently eyed me off for ages and was like,
Speaker 1: it was the nineties, So I don't know, people.
Speaker 2: Were different now. I reckon, like the fact was.
Speaker 1: Like ninety three or something.
Speaker 2: You say that, like it was like in ninety three,
Speaker 2: it was just the dumb thing that people just went
Speaker 2: to kmart and abducted kids.
Speaker 1: It probably was, I reckon. If we deep dove into that,
Speaker 1: there would be people that have been like, I never
Speaker 1: got abductor of the exact same kmart.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was it was John, Classic John.
Speaker 1: He's still alive today. So last week I did speak
Speaker 1: about my oversex means have the pregnancy scare, which we're
Speaker 1: over now we're past it.
Speaker 2: Can I ask, Gosh, have you got the check up?
Speaker 1: No? I don't intend to fucking hell dude. Actually that
Speaker 1: brings me to something that people were commenting and messaging
Speaker 1: me saying we have the same thing, still haven't been tested,
Speaker 1: And it's crazy because of how many people have actual
Speaker 1: messaged me or put comments on some of the content
Speaker 1: and being like, you know, we had a baby six
Speaker 1: seven years down the track. It's like fuck.
Speaker 2: But the fact that it's scared one safe but don't
Speaker 2: you want that peace of mind?
Speaker 1: I like to live life on the edge, friend.
Speaker 2: Obviously, Like you know, I'm assuming that when you in April,
Speaker 2: do the.
Speaker 1: Deed, get it done. You're not wearing I don't wear
Speaker 1: my hat, all my socks, your raw dog, rod Dog
Speaker 1: and baby. I got the verseect with me for one
Speaker 1: reason and one reason only, and that is a proad dog.
Speaker 2: There was a guy he dropped a message on the
Speaker 2: video that you posted, and he said to the doctor,
Speaker 2: He's like, do as much damage right now. I want
Speaker 2: you to burn that little tube, tie it, do everything
Speaker 2: you can to make it irreversible. Yeah, is that something
Speaker 2: that you kind of say, like, Butcher.
Speaker 1: You don't get you don't get to pick the level
Speaker 1: of a sectomy that you Yeah, you're like, there's only
Speaker 1: one level, level ten. It's like when you're going for
Speaker 1: heart sege' like, give me the very best level you've got?
Speaker 2: Can I start from the very beginning, Because I'll be honest,
Speaker 2: A lot of people find it shocking. I do as well.
Speaker 2: The fact that you're thirty two and you've taken the
Speaker 2: venom out of the snake.
Speaker 1: No one has ever said that to me like that,
Speaker 1: Look the snake had some sit sorry, starting from the
Speaker 1: very beginning of time, like before or after I was abducted.
Speaker 2: So you had you had your first child?
Speaker 1: Yeah, so I had my first child in twenty nineteen,
Speaker 1: planned of course, very exciting was.
Speaker 2: The vasectomy in the background.
Speaker 1: No, no, no. I think originally we always set out
Speaker 1: to have two. But after the first one, I didn't
Speaker 1: want another one because it was painful, you know, like
Speaker 1: I said, you're either get asleep or you don't. I
Speaker 1: didn't get asleep. I barely slept for that whole year. Yeah,
Speaker 1: so after the first one, I was like, nuts, we're
Speaker 1: not going to have another one. We'd obviously discussed it
Speaker 1: a lot, and I think are originally always going to
Speaker 1: have two, and then we didn't want to have that
Speaker 1: single child that was a fucking weirdo.
Speaker 2: I mean, hey, so let's be honest, that single child
Speaker 2: that in primary school. They're strange cats.
Speaker 1: They're the sort of kids that would go to the
Speaker 1: urine and pull their pants all the way down to
Speaker 1: their ankles.
Speaker 2: If you meet someone and I hope there's not many
Speaker 2: listeners out there who have single children, but if you
Speaker 2: meet someone who's relatively normal and you say, oh, like
Speaker 2: do your brothers and sisters and they go no, no, no,
Speaker 2: I'm the only child and they're normal.
Speaker 1: You go, fuck yeah, you're like taken back, wow, like
Speaker 1: you were. And but the thing is we're saying that
Speaker 1: they're normal. Now you can always morph into that serial killer.
Speaker 2: Yes, it's only a matter of times.
Speaker 1: It's a matter of time. I don't really not understand.
Speaker 1: Like I get people want one and want to run
Speaker 1: with one, and that's fine. I think people that overpopulate
Speaker 1: the earth are worse than that person. You're slowing us down, man,
Speaker 1: the rotation physics, you're slowing the earth down by procreating
Speaker 1: that much. Especially crackheads.
Speaker 2: Attacking people who were single children.
Speaker 1: Yeah, the crackheads.
Speaker 2: Who else do we hate?
Speaker 1: I would love to be canceled by crackheads. Think of
Speaker 1: the uproar.
Speaker 2: Open above the two to three children window is madness.
Speaker 1: I just don't know how you do it. It's not for me.
Speaker 1: Like Dominic Perrine's got what fifteen kids.
Speaker 2: He's got fifteen Yeah, he's got a cult.
Speaker 1: He's just they're going to take over literally, they're going
Speaker 1: to take over the world.
Speaker 2: Literally. Yeah, So you thought to yourself, I'm going to
Speaker 2: have a second.
Speaker 1: Child, and then like a what chop my dick off?
Speaker 2: Was it when April was pregnant that you were like,
Speaker 2: I'm gonna no.
Speaker 1: I think there was always going to be two. And
Speaker 1: then we were like, can't quite remember how it sort
Speaker 1: of came about. I think I think the main conversation
Speaker 1: happened after having Macie was like, Okay, what are we
Speaker 1: going to do now?
Speaker 2: Did you bring it up? It was just like it
Speaker 2: was just you guys kind of both came together and
Speaker 2: said I was kind of.
Speaker 1: Both came together. I think there was one time I
Speaker 1: was putting a condom on and I thought this is
Speaker 1: not for me, and I got up and I left
Speaker 1: the room. I definitely didn't leave the room. And I
Speaker 1: think that's what it got like put into the back
Speaker 1: of both of our heads. But like me and like
Speaker 1: you've spoken to me about and a lot of other
Speaker 1: men have spoken to me about it, like we don't
Speaker 1: want to lose our superpower. That's what we think. Such
Speaker 1: an idiotic thing to think, but it's the man's way
Speaker 1: we find humor to put things aside. A lot. I
Speaker 1: hide behind it as much as they possibly can. Yeah,
Speaker 1: I was always like, no, I don't want to lose
Speaker 1: my superpower. I might be different, I might be this
Speaker 1: different person. It's a load of shit, really, And then
Speaker 1: it's funny that eventually, after the talking about it and
Speaker 1: the lack of sex in the house, I didn't want
Speaker 1: to bag it up anymore. I was sick of it.
Speaker 1: And you know, the option is always on the table
Speaker 1: there to do that, So it was always like, I
Speaker 1: could just do that. So what happened was I got
Speaker 1: really drunk one night and I thought, it's not like
Speaker 1: I drink. Thank you Matthew. Anyway, I've lost my train
Speaker 1: of thought.
Speaker 2: You got drunk one night.
Speaker 1: I got drunk one night, and I thought what might
Speaker 1: be a romantic thing to do to try and get
Speaker 1: sex that night was to say, hey, I booked a
Speaker 1: vasecto me. So I booked the VICTI me and I
Speaker 1: was like, hey, bat.
Speaker 2: Well, when you were drunk at home or at the pub?
Speaker 1: I was at a mates but I was coming home.
Speaker 2: Well your mates like, ash, what are you doing over there?
Speaker 1: On my phone? Just book just google it?
Speaker 2: Or did someone say hey.
Speaker 1: I just googled it? And I wanted the one that
Speaker 1: you could book online. I didn't want to have to
Speaker 1: ring anyone and say, hey, he needed to chop my dickoff.
Speaker 2: You hate the phone, So like, did you have a
Speaker 2: Google rating.
Speaker 1: Or five stars? Actually we'll get to that. Anyways, I
Speaker 1: came home, I'm like, guess what good book? I booked
Speaker 1: a vasectomy and hoping for.
Speaker 2: It to be like, yes, pannies fall down in the bedroom.
Speaker 1: Wasn't the case. He was met with I've been telling
Speaker 1: you to do it for ages. I got nothing there,
Speaker 1: and then there's.
Speaker 2: Nothing sexier than when you've had a couple of tins.
Speaker 1: And anyway, so back backfired. So now I'm booked him
Speaker 1: for a sex I had to pay a deposit for
Speaker 1: so they've got me in.
Speaker 2: What's the deposit worth?
Speaker 1: It was like two hundred bucks for the deposit. Anyway,
Speaker 1: I forgot that they booked it, and then all of
Speaker 1: a sudden, I'm getting a VERSECT me on Saturday afternoon
Speaker 1: at four o'clock. I was like a couple of weeks.
Speaker 2: Because I thought it'd be like when you go in
Speaker 2: for plastic surgery or something and you have to have
Speaker 2: this like psyched test to be like are you doing
Speaker 2: because like they look at you and go ash, you're
Speaker 2: a young man, You're.
Speaker 1: You're a stallion. You're a start yet out there and
Speaker 1: spread your seamen.
Speaker 2: That didn't happen.
Speaker 1: Well, no conversation wasn't. It's more of a in and
Speaker 1: out situation. I've had haircuts that will take longer than that,
Speaker 1: and I don't have any hair Holy shit that quick. Yeah,
Speaker 1: So I'll walk you through it.
Speaker 2: Because I'll be honest, I am in the category of men,
Speaker 2: and I'm not saying this is the right thought to have,
Speaker 2: but I think of it as as literally being like
Speaker 2: I am chopping off my tat from this point.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I look at like you could use.
Speaker 2: You like dogs for example. Okay, here's my thinking. And
Speaker 2: again I know this is not correct. I know it's
Speaker 2: not the same for humans, but you know, like a
Speaker 2: dog gets desexed.
Speaker 1: Takes the bark out of them, Yes, you know, like.
Speaker 2: They're not the same afterwards, And I don't want to
Speaker 2: get the snip and then like not be the same
Speaker 2: Maddy j that I am right now.
Speaker 1: I think it will calm you down. Imagine if it
Speaker 1: calms you down, how crazy I would have been before.
Speaker 1: Havn't it a sexed me?
Speaker 2: Yeah?
Speaker 1: This is me? Can't you fucking bouncing off the walls?
Speaker 2: Storing tables. Oh yeah, piecing in the backyard. I bet
Speaker 2: yelling used to piss in the backyard.
Speaker 1: Still, I'm not allowing the inside toilet anyway. So what
Speaker 1: happens is you get sent the email confirmation blah blah blah.
Speaker 1: But you also get sent a video which is like
Speaker 1: a counseling video to prepare you for what's coming. So
Speaker 1: that scares the shit out of you. I didn't watch it.
Speaker 1: How it was like three or four minutes. I made
Speaker 1: him Mine watched it and he was like, that's scary
Speaker 1: because I'm not watching that. And then you go there
Speaker 1: for your appointment. And the funny thing is when you
Speaker 1: go to this appointment, there's other dudes in the waiting area.
Speaker 1: You've got this mutual acknowledgment of why you're all there, okay.
Speaker 2: Like the only thing that the only procedure.
Speaker 1: On thing that bonds you is this procedure, like we're
Speaker 1: all united, okay. And it's in and out like it's crazy.
Speaker 1: A guy goes in walking normal and comes out walking
Speaker 1: like he's just been riding the fucking horse.
Speaker 2: I imagine it's like, you know, like those prisoners who
Speaker 2: were kept in like a certain part of the jail
Speaker 2: when they're on death row.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like it's that we're all going to die in
Speaker 1: this together the situation.
Speaker 2: Yes, was it much spoken amongst the men or is.
Speaker 1: It very eerie? It's a very eerie situation because I
Speaker 1: don't know, Like the fact is you're awake for the
Speaker 1: whole thing. Okay. It's a bit like a production line
Speaker 1: situation where it's like there's a four o'clock or four
Speaker 1: point fifteen, four point thirty or four forty five and onwards. Yeah,
Speaker 1: and their book this motherfucker is making bank. But you've
Speaker 1: got to think about like how many nuts do you
Speaker 1: need to see in one day?
Speaker 2: Too many?
Speaker 1: Too is too many? So you get called in, You
Speaker 1: go in, you sit down and goes did you watch
Speaker 1: the video? And of course I said yes, even I didn't.
Speaker 1: And he was like, it's really just to prepare you
Speaker 1: that this is a considered irreversible procedure, even though it
Speaker 1: is reversible, andything's reversible.
Speaker 2: At this point. Did you have any second thoughts?
Speaker 1: Nah? No, I was just petrified. I think fear took
Speaker 1: up most of my thought process. And I was like, yes, sir, yeah, anyway,
Speaker 1: So he was like, okay, well I needed to pull
Speaker 1: your pants down and just lay on the like the operating.
Speaker 2: Tenner say like, oh, could you buy me you drink first?
Speaker 1: No? No, I just said it out a couple of
Speaker 1: inches and it was like a classic classic Yeah, it
Speaker 1: was like do you know any times I've heard that today?
Speaker 1: I'm like too many obviously, but seriously, at a couple
Speaker 1: of inches. The most painful part of a herd is
Speaker 1: the local anesthetic. It's like when you get local attic
Speaker 1: at the dentist and it's like, fuck that hurt? Why
Speaker 1: does that hurt?
Speaker 2: So that's sad sting.
Speaker 1: I can feel it now anyway. So that happens because
Speaker 1: what they do is they cut one side open, snip
Speaker 1: that particular cord, and then they do is they melt
Speaker 1: it back together, so there's no stitches.
Speaker 2: When you say melt, is it like burning plastic.
Speaker 1: It's like the smell of your burning hair and skin.
Speaker 2: You can see you can smell it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, So for the whole time you no, we're not
Speaker 1: trying to turn people off here, sorry, yes, anyway, so
Speaker 1: you don't feel it, just feel this weird, awkward, aggressive tugging.
Speaker 1: I just was sweating the whole time. I was like
Speaker 1: sweating so much. So goes, okay, we're done. They have
Speaker 1: to peel me off the bed and I was just like,
Speaker 1: oh my god. Anyway, so then they move you to
Speaker 1: another room, which is like recover recover room. You got
Speaker 1: to sit there for fifteen minutes and watch another video.
Speaker 2: Ah.
Speaker 1: But the video I got to watch was a little
Speaker 1: bit about the procedure and what to expect, and also
Speaker 1: about their Google rating, like make sure you leave a
Speaker 1: review on Google rate and we have a five star
Speaker 1: Google rating, make sure you leave us a review. I'm like,
Speaker 1: any this is a restaurant, and I'm like, what the hell.
Speaker 2: Is there any incentive, like we'll give you five percent off.
Speaker 1: Or can give your mates five percent you refer a
Speaker 1: friend or nah? Nah, to be honest, run a really
Speaker 1: tight shit.
Speaker 2: Can I take a guess here? You didn't leave a review?
Speaker 1: No, if I didn't watch the video, then not watch
Speaker 1: the second video. Anyway, So after that your recovery and
Speaker 1: she goes. The nurse comes and get okay, Like you're
Speaker 1: okay to go in three months time, you need to
Speaker 1: go and get check to cb ster. Here's a pathology
Speaker 1: slip and here's a cup, and me stupidly was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm going to need two cups.
Speaker 2: Get fucking creep.
Speaker 1: I get it and I walked out past the other victims,
Speaker 1: big thumbs up to the boys did straight out the
Speaker 1: door off to the pub, and like he went to
Speaker 1: the pub, I went to a mates and had a
Speaker 1: couple of beers there. I went home, but I actually
Speaker 1: went out. The next night. I went to Surrey Hill's
Speaker 1: for like a dad's lads things with a bunch of.
Speaker 2: The dads do they say like, yeah, you need to Yeah,
Speaker 2: They're like walk, friction is gonna.
Speaker 1: I looked at my phone. The next day I did
Speaker 1: like fifteen thousand steps and I was wondering why my
Speaker 1: nuts were so black, so bruised. Man, I was bruised
Speaker 1: all the way up like my torso. It was the
Speaker 1: worst recovery of anything I reckon. I was like, oh
Speaker 1: my nuts were so sore?
Speaker 2: How long?
Speaker 1: It was like two weeks? But after I got another
Speaker 1: friend was like, oh, go and get it. His recovery
Speaker 1: was sweet. He probably did all the right thing. I
Speaker 1: didn't go on. I went surfing like two days later
Speaker 1: to Ash. What are you doing, dude, I'm bulletproop bad?
Speaker 2: Have you got nous? Exspect for your bullsack.
Speaker 1: Absolutely not. I don't need them anymore.
Speaker 2: Putting them through absolute torture.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it was a tough couple of weeks. But I
Speaker 1: still don't know if I'm staile.
Speaker 2: Okay, the reason why I'm a bit nervous about it,
Speaker 2: and I did some research, minimal research. It was actually
Speaker 2: illegal up until nineteen seventy one in this country, illegal
Speaker 2: to give or receive.
Speaker 1: Of a sectomy give and receive.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I don't know what the punishment was.
Speaker 2: I don't know why it was illegal by just on
Speaker 2: a website. It was illegal until nineteen seventy one.
Speaker 1: That's wild, hey, Like, and so you think they might not.
Speaker 2: So well, yeah, but you think, like if it was
Speaker 2: illegal back then, maybe at some point they may go, actually,
Speaker 2: let's put it back onto the list of being illegal.
Speaker 1: Zero science has happened since then.
Speaker 2: I think it's now. I think we're one of the
Speaker 2: top countries. I think there's like one and forty blokes.
Speaker 1: It's definitely like a benefit, Like it's a pretty safe
Speaker 1: form of not having it. Like if I went and
Speaker 1: did everything right and went and got checked and like
Speaker 1: you're yeah, you're star al but whatever, like you can't
Speaker 1: have any more kids. That's great, But then also, if
Speaker 1: I get divorced, I'm out in the market now and
Speaker 1: I am essentially sterile in the market.
Speaker 2: But don't you think that then makes you less appealing?
Speaker 1: No, no, no, no, because I wouldn't get married again.
Speaker 2: Yeah, and obviously you in April are never gonna split up.
Speaker 1: Absolutely not love you, April.
Speaker 2: The reason why I'm on the fence, it is not
Speaker 2: because of the like I joke when I say like,
Speaker 2: I think it's going to be taking away, you know,
Speaker 2: a level of you, my manly hood, and I'm going
Speaker 2: to be different afterwards. I think it's the fact that
Speaker 2: I'm pretty indecisive. You know, I'll sit there and I'll
Speaker 2: look at a menu for like half an hour before
Speaker 2: I decide what to actually get to eat. You are
Speaker 2: so slow even setting up this oh my God podcast
Speaker 2: equipment today in your house. I could just see you
Speaker 2: getting so eggy. Get the fact that eving I like
Speaker 2: to rush into things, okay, and respect that. And right
Speaker 2: now we're very much fifty to fifty. If you ask
Speaker 2: me right now do I want a third child, I
Speaker 2: would say no, because I'm coming off the back end
Speaker 2: of Laura working like four different jobs and me being
Speaker 2: this whole parent of the kids right now, and I
Speaker 2: think to myself, like, if I have a third kid,
Speaker 2: I'm going to be out numbered. Like there's no way
Speaker 2: that I could sustain that by myself if Laura was working,
Speaker 2: and vice versa as well, if I went away for work,
Speaker 2: and then I think like three, if I had a third,
Speaker 2: I know, there'd be no way I'm going to have it.
Speaker 2: I'm gonna oh fucking maybe I whatever fourth.
Speaker 1: I don't know, Oh my, what is wrong with you?
Speaker 2: I don't know. I just think like, who knows? What's
Speaker 2: don't you want to?
Speaker 1: We get a lot of questions like what's you Is
Speaker 1: it hard between one and two? Duh? The answer to
Speaker 1: that question is yes, having two is harder. It's a
Speaker 1: different type of hardness. Okay, it's a logistical nightmare. Mainly, Yes,
Speaker 1: you get one age, but then you're going to have
Speaker 1: those times where they're going to outnumber you. And I
Speaker 1: feel like if you live in a household where at
Speaker 1: all times you're outnumbered by the children, nothing good can
Speaker 1: come from that. If you want to have three, go
Speaker 1: for it. But the logistical nightmare of that would be
Speaker 1: too much for me personally. So that's where I'm at.
Speaker 2: In saying that. Ash I actually did get a question
Speaker 2: from a listener on this exact topic fire away. He said,
Speaker 2: this is lim by the way, he's expecting baby number two.
Speaker 2: It's coming very shortly. He said, boys, what are the
Speaker 2: quantifiable levels?
Speaker 1: That's very very big word. Yeah, can we google what
Speaker 1: that means? He said, what about that? Educated, my friend?
Speaker 2: What are the quantifiable levels of difference between being a
Speaker 2: parent of one versus being a parent of two? Is
Speaker 2: it two times as hard or is it ten times
Speaker 2: as hard because you also have to manage a toddler
Speaker 2: whilst having a newborn.
Speaker 1: Yeah, it's definitely a different type of hardness to it.
Speaker 1: It's not like twice as hard. You can't just sit
Speaker 1: there and say that because you're at different stages of
Speaker 1: their life. Depends on what the toddlers like too. Toddlers
Speaker 1: can be really like they really like when they have
Speaker 1: a baby, Like I noticed, Oscar was always like, oh,
Speaker 1: you know, and like you try and gave to help out,
Speaker 1: so it feel like part of the situation. I think
Speaker 1: the hardest part about it is the logistics of it all,
Speaker 1: in terms of going anywhere, you know, because then you've
Speaker 1: also got sleep schedules for two different kids. The two
Speaker 1: kids itself, it's not not hard, but you can manage that.
Speaker 1: I think it's the things around.
Speaker 2: It, don't you think though, obviously the fact that you've
Speaker 2: got two now it's an increased workload, but you know
Speaker 2: what you're doing. Like I remember coming home from the
Speaker 2: hospital and we had Marley, this new more child.
Speaker 1: In the back of the car driving thirty k'sw.
Speaker 2: Yeah, like literally crawling on the road back home, and
Speaker 2: you think, oh, do I know.
Speaker 1: What name we Lalia? Like one hundred and ten.
Speaker 2: It's kind of like playing sport, you know, when you
Speaker 2: first start playing a new sport is a bit harder,
Speaker 2: like you know, but when you surf right now, as
Speaker 2: I'm sure, it's just like it's second nature you just
Speaker 2: like kids are crying.
Speaker 1: It's crazy how much you subconsciously pick up from the
Speaker 1: first one and then dealing with the second one, like
Speaker 1: just you're got a different level of patience because you're like, okay,
Speaker 1: we I know what to expect a little bit more
Speaker 1: than obviously the first time when you it's very very new.
Speaker 1: So look, it's not easy. One hundred percent. I'm not
Speaker 1: going to sit here and say it's easy, and no
Speaker 1: one should be telling you it's easy, but it's not
Speaker 1: ten times harder.
Speaker 2: Definitely not.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: And you've also got you've also got all the equipment
Speaker 2: you know.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you're reusing.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you're like you're set up. You're in a place
Speaker 2: where you know what you're doing. You've got everything at
Speaker 2: your disposal in terms of like bottles and nappies and
Speaker 2: you know, change tables and you're good to go. There
Speaker 2: is nothing that will be more of a shock to
Speaker 2: the system than the change in you and your lifestyle
Speaker 2: for that first baby.
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, yeah, your life will never be the same before,
Speaker 1: never any aspect. You could have fifteen dogs in your
Speaker 1: life could never be sad. So yeah, I think the
Speaker 1: second one it is hard logistically, it's hard when the
Speaker 1: good times are good too. So you got to think,
Speaker 1: like when I've got two now and may he's just like,
Speaker 1: you know, giving back. You're like, yeah, there's no way
Speaker 1: I wouldn't have the second.
Speaker 2: Now, do you ever have a conversation with parents who
Speaker 2: have three and they say to you, the change from
Speaker 2: two to three is like non existent. A lot of
Speaker 2: parents say to.
Speaker 1: Me like they live in denial, my friend, don't you reckon.
Speaker 2: I've had so many conversations where they say, hey, like
Speaker 2: having a third, it's lazy. You don't even notice it.
Speaker 1: That's got to be dribble. You've got another mouth to feed,
Speaker 1: you got another Essentially, the first year of a baby's life,
Speaker 1: all you're doing is trying to keep that thing alive. Yes,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean. You're like, you're not.
Speaker 2: That's fucking stressful.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And you're just trying to keep it alive. And
Speaker 1: when you get past that first year and they start
Speaker 1: to be like, oh, I'm more than just a blob now,
Speaker 1: and it's like, oh, there's a whole different set of problems.
Speaker 1: And look, I've only got two very young kids. I
Speaker 1: don't know what it's like with people who've got older
Speaker 1: kids and then having a third. It might not be
Speaker 1: as hard as that. You can essentially boss the other
Speaker 1: ones around, but at this point, like a toddler will go,
Speaker 1: you go, come on, help daddy with this, and then
Speaker 1: they'll either do it, they'll be like, I'm funk off upstairs,
Speaker 1: and I'll have to go up and be like, what
Speaker 1: did I have you for? If you're not going to
Speaker 1: help me parents.
Speaker 2: So to wrap it up, Liam, I think the fact
Speaker 2: that Ash and I are both doing okay and you're
Speaker 2: using words like quantifiable in your questions, you're going to
Speaker 2: fucking excel.
Speaker 1: You've got at least one.
Speaker 2: Ash, Do we have we have time for two more questions?
Speaker 2: I know, I feel like I've been rushing you. Mate,
Speaker 2: You've got somewhere to be something like, what have you
Speaker 2: got on this afternoon? You know what we're stressed about.
Speaker 2: I think it's the fact that we've been recording this
Speaker 2: episode with Macy upstairs, who's asleep. She didn't go down
Speaker 2: at a normal nut time and she woke up.
Speaker 1: Ears. Yeah, looks she only had a quick sleep. April's upstairs.
Speaker 2: She's just we've I don't know if you can hear
Speaker 2: this in the audio, but she's working up. She screamed,
Speaker 2: I'm chill and I'm hard.
Speaker 1: Fine your kids on here.
Speaker 2: Do we have time for two?
Speaker 1: Yes? Okay, make it three?
Speaker 2: No two, Let's do ten questions?
Speaker 1: Get real bored these people listening?
Speaker 2: Question number one? And that was that number one? Well
Speaker 2: I kind of think it was like it was that
Speaker 2: was question number one, Question number two?
Speaker 1: Make up the rules? Do whatever you like.
Speaker 2: Ash, Yes, do you miss who you were before you
Speaker 2: became a dad?
Speaker 1: I've had this question asked to me before, and like
Speaker 1: I tell my therapist, I don't remember that person at all.
Speaker 1: Not really strange to believe that. Yeah, Look, I feel
Speaker 1: like so much crying has happened between now and then
Speaker 1: that I don't really recall. There's definitely times where it's
Speaker 1: like you see or you've got a single mate and
Speaker 1: he's like, oh, I'm just going to go home and
Speaker 1: see on couch for the rest of the day and
Speaker 1: you're like, fuck you, that would be so nice that
Speaker 1: and then rub it into your face. So, yeah, look,
Speaker 1: is it do I miss or do I remember? Is
Speaker 1: that the question?
Speaker 2: I think? The word miss? I think because you're still Yeah,
Speaker 2: you're still the same person. It's not like I look
Speaker 2: at photos of myself and I'm different in any kind
Speaker 2: of way. I think there's a level of confidence a
Speaker 2: when you become married and B when you become dad.
Speaker 2: You're kind of like you don't.
Speaker 1: Have like life achievements, so you're sort of taking on
Speaker 1: board as a confidence builder one hundred percent, but.
Speaker 2: You've got more important shit to worry about now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, like I see mate squabbing over garbage, and I'm like, man,
Speaker 1: I got my own fucking problems. Don't come at me
Speaker 1: what std you've got. I'm not.
Speaker 2: This is not good for my throat.
Speaker 1: Hopefully I didn't dob any mates in there, but yeah,
Speaker 1: look I definitely miss you missed the free time, right
Speaker 1: fucking oh yeah?
Speaker 2: Like the ability to just do anything at any point
Speaker 2: is great.
Speaker 1: And like now the free time I have, it's either
Speaker 1: spent picking up fucking toys or cleaning up shit, whether
Speaker 1: it's on the fucking walls or smeared into the carpet.
Speaker 1: So yeah, it goes out saying you definitely missed that times.
Speaker 1: But you know there's so much more to look forward
Speaker 1: to as well. I have to say that because so
Speaker 1: this actually comes from a friend of mine who's a
Speaker 1: very big fan of the show. He's trying to get
Speaker 1: on the show. I think it's going to happen, Champ. No,
Speaker 1: I'm just ja. Don't you ever dare put your finger
Speaker 1: up to me? Ever again, that's such a dog act.
Speaker 2: Excuse me, I just didn't. I didn't want to cough
Speaker 2: over you talking my fan then, and then have you
Speaker 2: have to repeat the sentence so shut the fuck up,
Speaker 2: little young man.
Speaker 1: All right, So this.
Speaker 2: Sorry question number three.
Speaker 1: So this question comes from a friend of mine. He
Speaker 1: has asked, have you ever busted your kids stealing from
Speaker 1: the supermarket?
Speaker 2: I think going to the supermarket, like going to a
Speaker 2: Coles of Woolies is just absolute hellos. Like there's been
Speaker 2: so many times there's a Woolies down the road for
Speaker 2: me and I'm like, I'm out of nappies or add
Speaker 2: of milk, and I've got the kids from daycare and
Speaker 2: I go, fuck, I forgot to go for the kids.
Speaker 2: I'll strap loller in. And so her arms are still free,
Speaker 2: and she's just grabbing anything, like grabbing apple, you know,
Speaker 2: a bottle of oil. She's like grabbing that anything she
Speaker 2: can get hands on. And sometimes you're so focused on
Speaker 2: just getting what you need and I think, I know, actually,
Speaker 2: like it's not really stealing, is it? Like fruit? Fruits?
Speaker 1: Plays that's fine, that's free man, Yeah, right, who the
Speaker 1: hell pays her fruit?
Speaker 2: Yeah? So she like, you know, sometimes there's a little
Speaker 2: basket of free food and normally it's like a loansome
Speaker 2: apple or banana, and sometimes Maley's like give us a plum,
Speaker 2: and I'm like, well, you know.
Speaker 1: Give us one of those rich people's fruit.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I'm not like getting a mango and like
Speaker 2: cutting up a mango and give that to her. And
Speaker 2: I think like the odd toy at like a two
Speaker 2: dollars store, you know, like need the checkout, But I haven't.
Speaker 2: I don't think she's stolen.
Speaker 1: Any lollipops for a good one on the way out,
Speaker 1: because they've got that stupid basket man you just ask
Speaker 1: him to be stolen totally. I've just taken one before.
Speaker 2: But it's not like she's stolen anything that's.
Speaker 1: Like over the band.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it's not like she's gone to like a Michael
Speaker 2: Hill jeweler and.
Speaker 1: Rinse the place somehow I got past the glass cabinet
Speaker 1: as No, I haven't. Actually, that's probably a good question
Speaker 1: to ask the listeners. Maybe I think maybe we could
Speaker 1: pick back up on that next week. Right in send
Speaker 1: us a DM S Maddie or myself or the two
Speaker 1: don't Dad's Instagram at DM if you've got any spicy
Speaker 1: or juicy stories about your children stealings of any age.
Speaker 2: If you are a criminal, we want like the accidental stealings.
Speaker 2: We don't want people who are.
Speaker 1: Like could do some good and dob some criminals in. Look,
Speaker 1: that's fine. I don't think stealing is a crime if
Speaker 1: it's accidental even so, okay, I think play on.
Speaker 2: That's a bold statement.
Speaker 1: My grandmother used to steal toys for me another child.
Speaker 2: Is said grandmother still around or is she?
Speaker 1: She?
Speaker 2: Is she in fucking prison or where?
Speaker 1: I won't disclose her location. But she was great at it.
Speaker 1: She just to take him out of the plastic thing
Speaker 1: and put the plastic thing back on the ship. There
Speaker 1: you go.
Speaker 2: I'd love to hear a story of like a parent
Speaker 2: being at JP high Fie getting like a pair of
Speaker 2: headphones and then getting home and going, holy shit, the
Speaker 2: headphones are at the bottom of the pram and they
Speaker 2: got like a set of like beats by Dre so good.
Speaker 2: Something like that would be great.
Speaker 1: I would yeah, stuff like that so definitely, And we'll
Speaker 1: pick back up on it next week for sure, because
Speaker 1: I think there's got to be some crackers out there.
Speaker 1: And if you're sitting there thinking, should I say my
Speaker 1: bad parents?
Speaker 2: It's anonymous?
Speaker 1: First of all, yes, you are a bad parent. Aren't
Speaker 1: we all bad parents in our own way? And don't
Speaker 1: withhold that story from us.
Speaker 2: I have to say a couple of people, we obviously
Speaker 2: take this podcast very seriously. We made a little mistake,
Speaker 2: he said Annabel Carmen.
Speaker 1: Calmel, Carmel Carmel. My wife even said that too, said
Speaker 1: that too.
Speaker 2: She was like, damadol got a.
Speaker 1: Drugging my children. Yeah, I was like, I can't know.
Speaker 1: Carmen's makes more sense, So maybe they should change the name.
Speaker 1: Idiots idiots.
Speaker 2: So thank you for everyone who said we set it
Speaker 2: in correctly. Apology.
Speaker 1: It's just a frozen me, so get over you.
Speaker 2: At this point, we are going to wrap up the episode,
Speaker 2: but I do want to say Ash, I do want
Speaker 2: to say I have been absolutely blown away at how
Speaker 2: many people have been listening. We hoped it would be successful,
Speaker 2: and Ash and I were like addicts on the Pokeys
Speaker 2: and instead of like pulling that hand or we're just
Speaker 2: refreshing this page to see how many downloads we get,
Speaker 2: like it's.
Speaker 1: We have nothing better to do.
Speaker 2: We literally I watch it like a hawk, and every
Speaker 2: like ten or fifty listens and downline.
Speaker 1: This unhealthy obsession of mine.
Speaker 2: I absolutely love it. I love it. We've had some
Speaker 2: really beautiful messages come from people. Sure I'm surprised. Actually
Speaker 2: I had one lady said she listened to it.
Speaker 1: At the gym, so does what she's doing.
Speaker 2: I don't know, dude, could you? I couldn't imagine anything
Speaker 2: worse and trying to do squads to us in your
Speaker 2: whole shit, Yeah, like if you go over a walk.
Speaker 1: But like it's a pleasant walking podcast.
Speaker 2: Not judging any gym goers right now. If you are
Speaker 2: listening to some.
Speaker 1: People get off on different things. Man, some people get
Speaker 1: pumped up by the oun of Maddie Jay's husky.
Speaker 2: For has anyone has anyone come up to you Ash
Speaker 2: at this point, because I think this is the point
Speaker 2: where you know you've really made it. Has anyone come
Speaker 2: up to you and said, Ash, this is a stranger
Speaker 2: I really like the podcast. No, not yet, but that's
Speaker 2: like once that happens someone at the window driving past
Speaker 2: and your podcast is shit.
Speaker 1: Thank you, thank you. That's a win. I'll take that.
Speaker 1: So yeah, wrap this episode up and review, a style rating, subscribe,
Speaker 1: tell your friends on.
Speaker 2: Apple Podcasts you have to do a follow. Follow us please,
Speaker 2: we would love We would love that. Spread the word
Speaker 2: and yeah, give us a review, and oh, how's this
Speaker 2: for a tease. I'm not going to say who it is.
Speaker 2: But we have locked in our first dad to be
Speaker 2: interviewed for.
Speaker 1: A bonus for a bonus episode I have done. It
Speaker 1: was a notable name in the Australian television scene. Let's
Speaker 1: leave it at that. I'm very excited actually, and we're
Speaker 1: going to his house yes, to record for that.
Speaker 2: I think it'll be in the next seven days. Yeah,
Speaker 2: at least, let's not commit to anything just yet, but
Speaker 2: let's say I think within seven days. We'll tell you
Speaker 2: within like a couple of days. So it's going to be.
Speaker 2: But it's a great one.
Speaker 1: It's a good one. It's going to be really fun.
Speaker 2: So look forward to that. Until then, we thank.
Speaker 1: You very much.
Speaker 2: To see you next time.
Speaker 1: To see you, guys.
Speaker 2: Two Doting Dads podcast acknowledges the traditional custodians of country
Speaker 2: throughout Australia and the connections to land, sea and community.
Speaker 2: We pay our respects to the elders past and present
Speaker 2: and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and Torres Strait
Speaker 2: Islander peoples today. This episode was recorded on gaddagal Land