1 00:00:03,440 --> 00:00:07,160 Speaker 1: It's the Happy Families podcast. It's the podcast for the. 2 00:00:07,160 --> 00:00:10,119 Speaker 2: Time poor parent who just wants answers. 3 00:00:10,200 --> 00:00:13,119 Speaker 1: Now another week has flown by. I cannot believe that 4 00:00:13,200 --> 00:00:15,200 Speaker 1: it's Friday again. 5 00:00:15,400 --> 00:00:17,919 Speaker 2: You're saying it's Friday again, but we're actually halfway through 6 00:00:17,920 --> 00:00:20,639 Speaker 2: the school term. And I know that because I'm doing it. 7 00:00:21,800 --> 00:00:24,759 Speaker 1: I still think that thing normally. I don't have a clue. 8 00:00:24,840 --> 00:00:27,440 Speaker 1: The homeschool journey for us has been a rocky road. 9 00:00:27,800 --> 00:00:30,880 Speaker 1: It has been a really challenging thing to step into 10 00:00:30,920 --> 00:00:33,720 Speaker 1: homeschool and try to look after a Grade nine child 11 00:00:33,840 --> 00:00:36,040 Speaker 1: and a Grade four child. And when I say it's 12 00:00:36,120 --> 00:00:37,400 Speaker 1: been a really hard thing for us, I mean it's 13 00:00:37,440 --> 00:00:40,040 Speaker 1: been a really hard thing for you. Because my calendar 14 00:00:40,040 --> 00:00:42,400 Speaker 1: has been pretty full, and I've been in Perth and 15 00:00:42,560 --> 00:00:45,560 Speaker 1: in Adelaide and in Sydney and Melbourne and all over Queensland. 16 00:00:45,640 --> 00:00:47,400 Speaker 1: I haven't been around nearly as much as I wish 17 00:00:47,440 --> 00:00:50,559 Speaker 1: that I could be. But when I arrived home at 18 00:00:50,600 --> 00:00:52,920 Speaker 1: the end of last week, so I flew in on 19 00:00:52,960 --> 00:00:55,040 Speaker 1: Friday night, you and I finally got to have a 20 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:58,600 Speaker 1: date night. On Saturday morning, I had to take one 21 00:00:58,640 --> 00:01:02,160 Speaker 1: of our kids to a sporting event. When I came back. 22 00:01:02,200 --> 00:01:03,800 Speaker 1: I went surfing while she was at that because the 23 00:01:03,800 --> 00:01:05,400 Speaker 1: parents aren't welcome to stay, so I went for a 24 00:01:05,440 --> 00:01:08,240 Speaker 1: quick surf for forty five minutes, came back with her, 25 00:01:09,120 --> 00:01:11,800 Speaker 1: walked into the living room and I saw you doing 26 00:01:11,920 --> 00:01:17,399 Speaker 1: homeschool at eight am on a Saturday. What's with that? 27 00:01:18,480 --> 00:01:20,200 Speaker 2: You're stelling my story already? Oh? 28 00:01:20,200 --> 00:01:21,240 Speaker 1: Is this what you were going to talk about for 29 00:01:21,240 --> 00:01:22,000 Speaker 1: Older Better Tomorrow. 30 00:01:22,040 --> 00:01:23,479 Speaker 2: I'm definitely going to talk about that. 31 00:01:23,520 --> 00:01:25,440 Speaker 1: There's big Tea's Then we're going to find out how 32 00:01:25,520 --> 00:01:29,880 Speaker 1: Kylie had our our nine year old daughter homeschooling at 33 00:01:29,920 --> 00:01:33,560 Speaker 1: eight am Saturday. Before we dive into Older Better tomorrow. Though, 34 00:01:33,640 --> 00:01:36,920 Speaker 1: before we hear that story, which has completely intrigued me, 35 00:01:37,840 --> 00:01:39,760 Speaker 1: I thought it would be good to do a quick revision. 36 00:01:40,000 --> 00:01:43,880 Speaker 1: At the start of the year, we discussed openly that 37 00:01:43,959 --> 00:01:46,360 Speaker 1: we were going to be really transparent about our word 38 00:01:46,760 --> 00:01:49,880 Speaker 1: of the year. How things are going with the big word, 39 00:01:50,000 --> 00:01:52,560 Speaker 1: the thing that we're focused on for the entirety of 40 00:01:52,640 --> 00:01:55,600 Speaker 1: twenty twenty four. I'm just wondering, can you even remember 41 00:01:55,640 --> 00:01:56,400 Speaker 1: what your word was? 42 00:01:56,480 --> 00:01:59,600 Speaker 2: Of course they can. It was embrace. My word was 43 00:01:59,640 --> 00:01:59,960 Speaker 2: in brain. 44 00:02:00,320 --> 00:02:01,040 Speaker 1: How's that going? 45 00:02:01,720 --> 00:02:03,920 Speaker 2: Well, We're going to talk a lot about that as 46 00:02:03,960 --> 00:02:06,200 Speaker 2: we go through my WII. 47 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:08,320 Speaker 1: Oh so that's another tease. It it is, can you 48 00:02:08,360 --> 00:02:09,760 Speaker 1: give us a little bit of a snippet? 49 00:02:10,160 --> 00:02:13,919 Speaker 2: But I think for me, I feel like I'm actually 50 00:02:13,919 --> 00:02:17,160 Speaker 2: doing really really well. There has been so much change 51 00:02:17,240 --> 00:02:19,920 Speaker 2: in my year and we're well, we're only. 52 00:02:19,760 --> 00:02:21,320 Speaker 1: In well halfway through term one. 53 00:02:21,440 --> 00:02:24,520 Speaker 2: Yeah yah. And as a result, it has required a 54 00:02:24,680 --> 00:02:29,520 Speaker 2: lot of kind of flexibility on my end and ability 55 00:02:29,560 --> 00:02:32,080 Speaker 2: to kind of shift and move in ways that I 56 00:02:32,160 --> 00:02:36,600 Speaker 2: wouldn't normally or naturally want to go. And it hasn't 57 00:02:36,639 --> 00:02:39,079 Speaker 2: always looked pretty. And as a result, it would be 58 00:02:39,160 --> 00:02:40,919 Speaker 2: really really easy for me to just be really hard 59 00:02:40,919 --> 00:02:43,960 Speaker 2: on myself and pull myself to pieces and lose motivation 60 00:02:44,080 --> 00:02:46,120 Speaker 2: as a result. But because my word this year has 61 00:02:46,160 --> 00:02:48,880 Speaker 2: been embraced, it's just an acknowledgment that it looks really 62 00:02:48,919 --> 00:02:51,280 Speaker 2: messy right now. But this is where we're at and 63 00:02:51,800 --> 00:02:54,960 Speaker 2: I just need to keep moving forward and keep getting curious. 64 00:02:55,760 --> 00:02:59,040 Speaker 2: And as I do that, the arha moments are coming 65 00:02:59,200 --> 00:03:02,720 Speaker 2: and the experiences that we're having are a result of 66 00:03:02,760 --> 00:03:06,080 Speaker 2: me being able to sit in those harder places. So 67 00:03:06,160 --> 00:03:07,480 Speaker 2: I think I'm actually doing really well. 68 00:03:07,840 --> 00:03:10,720 Speaker 1: I love hearing that my word, can you remember what 69 00:03:10,840 --> 00:03:11,800 Speaker 1: my word was. 70 00:03:12,040 --> 00:03:13,000 Speaker 2: Your word was present. 71 00:03:13,080 --> 00:03:15,080 Speaker 1: I'm so glad you remember that, because I've totally forgotten. 72 00:03:15,240 --> 00:03:17,280 Speaker 1: I'm just kidding. I hadn't forgotten at all. 73 00:03:17,720 --> 00:03:19,760 Speaker 2: Can I have a lot of your presence in our 74 00:03:19,800 --> 00:03:20,680 Speaker 2: home at the moment. No. 75 00:03:20,800 --> 00:03:23,200 Speaker 1: But that's why I wanted it to be my key word, 76 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:26,600 Speaker 1: because when I am here, I've got to be present. 77 00:03:26,760 --> 00:03:29,400 Speaker 1: I can't be distracted, because I know, with a calendar 78 00:03:29,440 --> 00:03:32,480 Speaker 1: that has me speaking all over the country so much, 79 00:03:33,080 --> 00:03:36,200 Speaker 1: it's really important to me that I'm absolutely present. I'd 80 00:03:36,240 --> 00:03:39,240 Speaker 1: love to ask you, have you noticed anything about my 81 00:03:39,400 --> 00:03:41,240 Speaker 1: capacity to be present when I'm here? 82 00:03:42,400 --> 00:03:43,680 Speaker 2: Oh, now you're putting me on the spree. 83 00:03:43,880 --> 00:03:45,440 Speaker 1: Did you feel like I'm doing okay? Am I doing 84 00:03:45,520 --> 00:03:46,880 Speaker 1: better than last year? Or is it just more of 85 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:49,280 Speaker 1: the same. No, we haven't rehearsed this. I have no 86 00:03:49,320 --> 00:03:51,280 Speaker 1: I did what you're going to say about I could 87 00:03:51,280 --> 00:03:52,800 Speaker 1: be in a whole lot of trouble. 88 00:03:53,080 --> 00:03:57,080 Speaker 2: Being completely honest, I can't actually answer that because I 89 00:03:57,280 --> 00:04:00,920 Speaker 2: feel so run off my feet and pulled in so 90 00:04:01,000 --> 00:04:03,720 Speaker 2: many directions at the moment that even when you're at home, 91 00:04:03,840 --> 00:04:05,880 Speaker 2: I'm not actually aware of what you're doing because my 92 00:04:05,960 --> 00:04:07,280 Speaker 2: load is so busy, so. 93 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:09,440 Speaker 1: You're not present. You're so busy embracing what you're doing. 94 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:12,360 Speaker 2: I'm so present in the moment of what I'm doing 95 00:04:12,400 --> 00:04:14,400 Speaker 2: that I'm not aware of what anyone else is doing. 96 00:04:14,520 --> 00:04:16,800 Speaker 1: Okay, well, here's what I have done. I don't know 97 00:04:16,839 --> 00:04:19,040 Speaker 1: if you've noticed. I've deleted all the games from my phone. 98 00:04:19,080 --> 00:04:20,680 Speaker 1: I have no games on my phone. 99 00:04:20,920 --> 00:04:21,520 Speaker 2: Are you sure? 100 00:04:21,640 --> 00:04:24,560 Speaker 1: I'm one hundred percent sure it's gone. I did have 101 00:04:24,720 --> 00:04:26,160 Speaker 1: a game on there for a little while, and I 102 00:04:26,160 --> 00:04:28,279 Speaker 1: discovered that it was taking me away from being present, 103 00:04:28,560 --> 00:04:30,800 Speaker 1: and so I'm actually I'm giving myself a B plus 104 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:34,120 Speaker 1: because I did have the game there and it took 105 00:04:34,160 --> 00:04:37,080 Speaker 1: me away, like incredibly. I've also deleted all of my 106 00:04:37,160 --> 00:04:39,359 Speaker 1: social media apps, so my team are now running all 107 00:04:39,400 --> 00:04:41,560 Speaker 1: of our social media. I'm not involved in it at all, 108 00:04:41,800 --> 00:04:45,200 Speaker 1: and I'm finding that it's so I've decided to call 109 00:04:45,640 --> 00:04:49,479 Speaker 1: social media the great unhappiness machine, because it pulls us 110 00:04:49,480 --> 00:04:50,760 Speaker 1: away from the things that matter most. 111 00:04:50,839 --> 00:04:53,479 Speaker 2: Well, I haven't done that entirely, but I deleted all 112 00:04:53,520 --> 00:04:57,599 Speaker 2: my games. Yes, and I have put a time limit 113 00:04:57,680 --> 00:05:00,360 Speaker 2: of fifteen minutes on my social media. I really like 114 00:05:00,400 --> 00:05:03,240 Speaker 2: to see my friend's faces, see their kids, and fifteen 115 00:05:03,279 --> 00:05:05,279 Speaker 2: minutes is enough. I don't actually need any more. But 116 00:05:05,360 --> 00:05:08,360 Speaker 2: if I have more time, you start to find myself scrolling. 117 00:05:08,800 --> 00:05:11,680 Speaker 2: So I've really found that that's made a huge difference. 118 00:05:12,080 --> 00:05:15,600 Speaker 2: And I've activated screen time on my phone, which means 119 00:05:15,680 --> 00:05:19,440 Speaker 2: I don't access any of my apps until eight am 120 00:05:19,640 --> 00:05:22,559 Speaker 2: each day and it goes to sleep by nine pm. 121 00:05:22,720 --> 00:05:25,479 Speaker 1: So no screens from nine pm till eight am helps 122 00:05:25,480 --> 00:05:27,240 Speaker 1: you to be more present as well. 123 00:05:27,440 --> 00:05:30,120 Speaker 2: It's crazy, I can't do anything with my phone, so 124 00:05:30,160 --> 00:05:30,719 Speaker 2: I don't use it. 125 00:05:30,839 --> 00:05:35,159 Speaker 1: Yeah, brilliant. I genuinely believe that it is the unhappiness machine. 126 00:05:35,480 --> 00:05:37,839 Speaker 1: Like I said, I've deleted the apps made a really 127 00:05:37,880 --> 00:05:40,600 Speaker 1: big difference, but I sort of took a bit of 128 00:05:40,600 --> 00:05:42,600 Speaker 1: a dive and was in it for too long, So 129 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:45,080 Speaker 1: I'm giving myself a B plus. There's room for improvement. 130 00:05:45,800 --> 00:05:48,960 Speaker 1: I think that being present though, I'm feeling the difference, 131 00:05:49,000 --> 00:05:50,960 Speaker 1: and I'm hoping that you'll start to notice the difference 132 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:57,440 Speaker 1: when I am here that I'm being present. Let's talk. 133 00:05:57,520 --> 00:05:59,920 Speaker 1: I'll do better tomorrow. Tell us the story that you've 134 00:06:00,000 --> 00:06:03,560 Speaker 1: has hanging out for about why our nine year old 135 00:06:03,920 --> 00:06:06,479 Speaker 1: is doing her homeschool stuff on a Saturday morning. Was 136 00:06:06,520 --> 00:06:08,440 Speaker 1: she doing catch up because she did nothing during the week. 137 00:06:08,560 --> 00:06:09,200 Speaker 1: Is that what happened? 138 00:06:09,320 --> 00:06:14,120 Speaker 2: Partly all right, partly. A couple of days ago, we 139 00:06:14,160 --> 00:06:16,440 Speaker 2: had a really, really tricky day. I had to leave 140 00:06:16,440 --> 00:06:18,719 Speaker 2: the house very early. She got left with her big sister. 141 00:06:19,000 --> 00:06:21,359 Speaker 2: They had a bit of an altercation. I came home 142 00:06:21,400 --> 00:06:24,440 Speaker 2: and she was in a fareral mood. She was not 143 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:28,000 Speaker 2: interested in anything I had to say. And she found 144 00:06:28,040 --> 00:06:30,760 Speaker 2: her lego and she started playing with that. I attempted 145 00:06:30,839 --> 00:06:33,520 Speaker 2: multiple times throughout the day to get her attention, and 146 00:06:33,560 --> 00:06:36,440 Speaker 2: we got nowhere. You came home, took one look at 147 00:06:36,440 --> 00:06:38,480 Speaker 2: it and said to me, has she done your school 148 00:06:38,480 --> 00:06:41,760 Speaker 2: work today? You said no, and I said no. But 149 00:06:41,880 --> 00:06:46,000 Speaker 2: what happened as the day progressed. What I saw was 150 00:06:46,200 --> 00:06:49,360 Speaker 2: she was able to emotionally regulate herself in her own time, 151 00:06:49,400 --> 00:06:51,919 Speaker 2: in her own way. And by the time she got 152 00:06:52,360 --> 00:06:55,760 Speaker 2: to late afternoon, while I was finishing up some tiding 153 00:06:55,800 --> 00:06:58,800 Speaker 2: in the house and doing the dinner, she came and 154 00:06:58,839 --> 00:07:01,080 Speaker 2: asked me what she could do to be helpful, and 155 00:07:01,160 --> 00:07:05,520 Speaker 2: we completely blitzed her bedroom together. She had dinner with me, 156 00:07:06,000 --> 00:07:08,040 Speaker 2: we read stories, and we went to bed and we 157 00:07:08,080 --> 00:07:10,679 Speaker 2: had this beautiful, calm night and I was just rethinking 158 00:07:10,720 --> 00:07:13,680 Speaker 2: about the experiences that we've had previously while she was 159 00:07:13,720 --> 00:07:16,400 Speaker 2: at school. I would have sent her off to school 160 00:07:16,480 --> 00:07:17,880 Speaker 2: on a day like that where she. 161 00:07:17,920 --> 00:07:19,760 Speaker 1: Was really disregulated. 162 00:07:20,400 --> 00:07:22,520 Speaker 2: She would have gone to school, and one of two 163 00:07:22,560 --> 00:07:24,200 Speaker 2: things would have happened. I would have either got a 164 00:07:24,200 --> 00:07:26,440 Speaker 2: phone call from the school or an email to say, 165 00:07:26,520 --> 00:07:28,880 Speaker 2: Emily's had a pretty bad day today, this is what's happened, 166 00:07:29,280 --> 00:07:32,080 Speaker 2: and we would have had to have a conversation, or 167 00:07:32,800 --> 00:07:34,720 Speaker 2: she would have kept it all in and by the 168 00:07:34,720 --> 00:07:37,280 Speaker 2: time she got home that afternoon, she would have unleashed 169 00:07:37,280 --> 00:07:40,640 Speaker 2: her wrap upon me and everybody else in her site, 170 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:43,640 Speaker 2: and we would have had a really, really challenging afternoon 171 00:07:43,640 --> 00:07:46,440 Speaker 2: and evening. And so from there I kind of just 172 00:07:46,520 --> 00:07:50,800 Speaker 2: recognized that this is the beauty that homeschool provides. While 173 00:07:50,800 --> 00:07:53,200 Speaker 2: it's really really challenging and hard, because every day at 174 00:07:53,200 --> 00:07:54,760 Speaker 2: the moment looks really different. 175 00:07:54,440 --> 00:07:57,680 Speaker 1: And it requires your full presence, full present hundred percent 176 00:07:57,680 --> 00:08:00,120 Speaker 1: of the time, what it does. 177 00:08:00,320 --> 00:08:04,360 Speaker 2: Gift me and my child is the acknowledgment that not 178 00:08:04,560 --> 00:08:07,600 Speaker 2: every day looks the same. Firstly, I don't feel great 179 00:08:07,640 --> 00:08:09,840 Speaker 2: some days, and I don't want to do things some days, 180 00:08:10,240 --> 00:08:14,840 Speaker 2: and that's okay right now, she's nine. As a result 181 00:08:15,160 --> 00:08:17,760 Speaker 2: of that, she had an excursion on Wednesday, which meant 182 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:22,240 Speaker 2: Monday Tuesday. Wednesday was no school. Thursday. We sat down 183 00:08:22,240 --> 00:08:23,960 Speaker 2: and we started to do some work, but we were 184 00:08:24,120 --> 00:08:27,720 Speaker 2: a whole week behind. We're starting on Thursday. So I 185 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:29,320 Speaker 2: said to her, let's do a little bit this morning. 186 00:08:29,440 --> 00:08:31,480 Speaker 2: And I said, and once we've had lunch and we've 187 00:08:31,480 --> 00:08:33,520 Speaker 2: spent some time with some friends, then we can do 188 00:08:33,559 --> 00:08:35,959 Speaker 2: some in the afternoon. And because I'd prepped her, I 189 00:08:36,040 --> 00:08:38,040 Speaker 2: told her what needed to happen. She was actually really 190 00:08:38,080 --> 00:08:40,440 Speaker 2: open to it. When we sat down, I said, okay, 191 00:08:40,440 --> 00:08:41,719 Speaker 2: we're going to do English. She said, I don't want 192 00:08:41,720 --> 00:08:43,560 Speaker 2: to do English. And I said, okay, what do you 193 00:08:43,600 --> 00:08:46,439 Speaker 2: want to do? And she pulled up science. So I've 194 00:08:46,440 --> 00:08:49,439 Speaker 2: got this kid who I never realized. She is motivated 195 00:08:49,480 --> 00:08:53,080 Speaker 2: to do science and history of all things. She loves them. 196 00:08:53,520 --> 00:08:55,200 Speaker 2: So I pulled up her science report. 197 00:08:55,400 --> 00:08:57,360 Speaker 1: I love this. I know I'm interrupting you, but this 198 00:08:57,400 --> 00:09:01,840 Speaker 1: is critical because what you're highlighting is motivation is high 199 00:09:01,920 --> 00:09:04,079 Speaker 1: when autonomy needs are supported. 200 00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:08,000 Speaker 2: One hundred percent. So she pulled up a science report, 201 00:09:08,120 --> 00:09:09,520 Speaker 2: she had to watch a video, we had to do 202 00:09:09,559 --> 00:09:11,800 Speaker 2: some things, and then she had to make a diorama 203 00:09:12,280 --> 00:09:17,960 Speaker 2: of a paper mache volcano. When I saw that, honestly, 204 00:09:18,240 --> 00:09:20,000 Speaker 2: I rolled my eyes and I thought. 205 00:09:19,800 --> 00:09:23,000 Speaker 1: Oh no, my heart sinks. I'm thinking my mess. I'm 206 00:09:23,000 --> 00:09:25,280 Speaker 1: not going to see my dining table for three days. 207 00:09:25,920 --> 00:09:27,560 Speaker 2: She said, Mum, can we do it? Can we do it? 208 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:32,120 Speaker 2: She was so excited, unbelievable, miracle of miracles. We had 209 00:09:32,240 --> 00:09:34,560 Speaker 2: everything in the house that she needed, and so she 210 00:09:34,640 --> 00:09:37,960 Speaker 2: literally got started, literally just got started all by herself 211 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:41,400 Speaker 2: and spent hours working on this thing. I showed her 212 00:09:41,440 --> 00:09:44,000 Speaker 2: how to make the paper mache glue. She thought it 213 00:09:44,040 --> 00:09:46,400 Speaker 2: was the best thing in the world. She absolutely had 214 00:09:46,440 --> 00:09:49,520 Speaker 2: a ball. Before I knew it, we actually had this 215 00:09:49,800 --> 00:09:51,360 Speaker 2: really cool looking volcano. 216 00:09:51,559 --> 00:09:56,200 Speaker 1: So just on this there's obviously a handful of really 217 00:09:56,240 --> 00:10:00,640 Speaker 1: important advantages to traditional schooling, and there are also some 218 00:10:00,800 --> 00:10:07,559 Speaker 1: substantial disadvantages. Homeschooling offers its own variety of advantages and disadvantages. 219 00:10:07,600 --> 00:10:10,200 Speaker 1: But what I'm hearing here with this homeschool situation is 220 00:10:10,440 --> 00:10:12,000 Speaker 1: we've got a child who is saying, I don't feel 221 00:10:12,000 --> 00:10:15,319 Speaker 1: like doing English, but I'll do science. There's autonomy in it, 222 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:19,240 Speaker 1: super excited about doing this task. And the critical thing 223 00:10:19,440 --> 00:10:23,959 Speaker 1: is she can spend hours on it. Hours she can monotask, 224 00:10:24,080 --> 00:10:27,400 Speaker 1: get fully focused and do it for a day, two days, 225 00:10:27,440 --> 00:10:30,160 Speaker 1: three days, if that's what she wants to do. Because 226 00:10:30,520 --> 00:10:33,760 Speaker 1: there's no set schedule, there's no bell going off and saying, well, 227 00:10:33,800 --> 00:10:35,120 Speaker 1: we've got to go and do this thing now, we 228 00:10:35,120 --> 00:10:37,080 Speaker 1: don't have to worry about transitioning from A to B 229 00:10:37,160 --> 00:10:40,559 Speaker 1: to C. And at this point in her development, that's 230 00:10:40,640 --> 00:10:43,640 Speaker 1: appropriate and it's wonderful for her, and her motivation stays 231 00:10:43,679 --> 00:10:44,360 Speaker 1: high as a result. 232 00:10:44,480 --> 00:10:46,320 Speaker 2: And that was one of the biggest struggles she had 233 00:10:46,440 --> 00:10:48,880 Speaker 2: at school, was that she would get involved in a 234 00:10:48,960 --> 00:10:51,439 Speaker 2: task and get pulled away, and then she'd get pulled away, 235 00:10:51,480 --> 00:10:53,880 Speaker 2: which meant that each time she started a task, her 236 00:10:53,920 --> 00:10:56,959 Speaker 2: motivation was actually really low because she recognized that she 237 00:10:57,000 --> 00:11:00,000 Speaker 2: would never get to finish it. And so the struggle 238 00:11:00,160 --> 00:11:02,079 Speaker 2: that we were having in relation to that were pretty 239 00:11:02,080 --> 00:11:06,400 Speaker 2: big in the classroom. So Friday came along and I 240 00:11:06,440 --> 00:11:08,520 Speaker 2: woke up early, and there was just something that clicked 241 00:11:08,520 --> 00:11:11,320 Speaker 2: inside me. She gets up between six and six thirty 242 00:11:11,360 --> 00:11:13,440 Speaker 2: in the morning, and it's actually probably the time where 243 00:11:13,440 --> 00:11:16,400 Speaker 2: she's the most compliant. As the day wears on, she 244 00:11:16,400 --> 00:11:19,040 Speaker 2: gets a little bit harder to deal with Dhill and 245 00:11:19,520 --> 00:11:21,320 Speaker 2: I just looked at her when she walked in to 246 00:11:21,400 --> 00:11:23,880 Speaker 2: have a cuddle morning cuddles with me, and I said, em, 247 00:11:23,960 --> 00:11:25,760 Speaker 2: I've been thinking about it. We get up nice and 248 00:11:25,840 --> 00:11:28,320 Speaker 2: early in the morning and normally we go to the 249 00:11:28,360 --> 00:11:30,880 Speaker 2: chapel with your sisters and we'll do some Bible study together. 250 00:11:31,200 --> 00:11:32,920 Speaker 2: I said, what would it look like if we started 251 00:11:32,960 --> 00:11:35,960 Speaker 2: the day was school work? I said, how would that work? 252 00:11:36,320 --> 00:11:38,480 Speaker 2: And she looked at me and she said, I love 253 00:11:38,559 --> 00:11:41,400 Speaker 2: it really And I said to okay, well, we don't 254 00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:43,720 Speaker 2: have bubble study today. Should we just start? This was 255 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:46,920 Speaker 2: seven am on Friday morning. The other girls were having 256 00:11:46,920 --> 00:11:49,920 Speaker 2: a little bit of a sleeping and she said, I'll 257 00:11:49,920 --> 00:11:52,080 Speaker 2: go get the computer. So we sat in our bed. 258 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:54,000 Speaker 2: We started to do some English. I did some reading 259 00:11:54,000 --> 00:11:55,959 Speaker 2: with her. I pulled out her learning sheets where she 260 00:11:56,000 --> 00:11:58,440 Speaker 2: had to do some comprehension work. She literally just sat 261 00:11:58,440 --> 00:12:00,160 Speaker 2: there next to me while I read to her. We 262 00:12:00,600 --> 00:12:03,400 Speaker 2: talked about the book, we talked about the characters, and 263 00:12:03,600 --> 00:12:05,160 Speaker 2: we just sat there and we did it. And I 264 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:09,600 Speaker 2: realized really quickly that I had tapped into something that 265 00:12:09,679 --> 00:12:14,559 Speaker 2: I hadn't previously recognized, finding the moments where she's most 266 00:12:14,720 --> 00:12:18,880 Speaker 2: motivated to work is the key to everything. If I 267 00:12:18,920 --> 00:12:22,400 Speaker 2: can tap into those moments, then schooling is easy. 268 00:12:22,960 --> 00:12:24,920 Speaker 1: I love this story, and that obviously explains why on 269 00:12:24,960 --> 00:12:27,280 Speaker 1: Saturday morning she was up early and happy to do 270 00:12:27,360 --> 00:12:29,200 Speaker 1: some more school work because she was motivated to do 271 00:12:29,280 --> 00:12:32,160 Speaker 1: the volcano diorama and the art, and you were doing 272 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:35,480 Speaker 1: maths and creative ways to do her timestables and division like. 273 00:12:35,559 --> 00:12:37,480 Speaker 1: It was so awesome to watch, even if it was 274 00:12:37,480 --> 00:12:40,600 Speaker 1: a Saturday morning. There's a level of privilege associated with 275 00:12:40,640 --> 00:12:42,840 Speaker 1: what we're talking about. We're in a position where you're 276 00:12:42,880 --> 00:12:47,600 Speaker 1: able to not work and therefore take the time and 277 00:12:48,200 --> 00:12:51,680 Speaker 1: provide the capacity for our daughter to be homeschooled and 278 00:12:51,720 --> 00:12:54,320 Speaker 1: for you to spend that time with her. I wonder, 279 00:12:54,520 --> 00:12:57,760 Speaker 1: if we move away from the homeschool situation and our specifics, 280 00:12:58,400 --> 00:13:01,200 Speaker 1: what the take home message is or time poor parents 281 00:13:01,240 --> 00:13:03,440 Speaker 1: who just want answers now, who are hearing this and saying, oh, 282 00:13:03,480 --> 00:13:05,600 Speaker 1: that's great for you, But what do I do because 283 00:13:05,640 --> 00:13:08,240 Speaker 1: my kid's going to school or my kids don't want 284 00:13:08,280 --> 00:13:10,920 Speaker 1: to get things done. What's the real I'll do better 285 00:13:10,960 --> 00:13:12,560 Speaker 1: tomorrow take home message here? 286 00:13:13,480 --> 00:13:16,120 Speaker 2: So if I was to kind of sum everything up 287 00:13:16,440 --> 00:13:19,040 Speaker 2: for me, what has taken place in the last few 288 00:13:19,120 --> 00:13:23,040 Speaker 2: days is literally a revolution in the way I'm homeschooling. 289 00:13:23,559 --> 00:13:27,280 Speaker 2: But regardless of whether it's homeschooling or dealing with friendship challenges, 290 00:13:27,480 --> 00:13:33,640 Speaker 2: or an exercise regime or eating better, a revolution takes time. 291 00:13:34,080 --> 00:13:35,800 Speaker 2: And I know we talk about the time poor parent 292 00:13:35,880 --> 00:13:38,679 Speaker 2: all the time, and for all of us there is 293 00:13:38,720 --> 00:13:41,760 Speaker 2: this feeling that there just aren't enough hours in the day. 294 00:13:42,120 --> 00:13:44,600 Speaker 2: Whilever we focus on that, it's going to be really 295 00:13:44,679 --> 00:13:48,080 Speaker 2: hard for us to be intentional about what needs to 296 00:13:48,120 --> 00:13:51,760 Speaker 2: take place. What I've experienced over these last five weeks 297 00:13:51,880 --> 00:13:56,280 Speaker 2: with Emily specifically, is that actually has required me sitting 298 00:13:56,440 --> 00:13:59,920 Speaker 2: in being in the moment with her and finding the 299 00:14:00,160 --> 00:14:06,640 Speaker 2: time to know my child. There are children, we know 300 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:09,199 Speaker 2: them better than anyone else, and yet for many of us, 301 00:14:09,200 --> 00:14:12,480 Speaker 2: because we feel so stretched, we still don't know them. 302 00:14:13,160 --> 00:14:16,560 Speaker 2: And it has literally been sitting in that space with 303 00:14:16,679 --> 00:14:19,320 Speaker 2: her and starting to see things that I do know, 304 00:14:19,880 --> 00:14:22,480 Speaker 2: but connecting more dots to the things that I do know. 305 00:14:23,520 --> 00:14:27,240 Speaker 2: That is helping me to be more intentional about how 306 00:14:27,280 --> 00:14:30,320 Speaker 2: I meet her needs and the things that she is 307 00:14:30,400 --> 00:14:33,560 Speaker 2: desirous to do, and that allows me to know her better. 308 00:14:34,320 --> 00:14:37,280 Speaker 2: As I know her better, then I'm able to utilize 309 00:14:37,280 --> 00:14:39,920 Speaker 2: my time better and the ways that I can serve 310 00:14:40,160 --> 00:14:44,360 Speaker 2: and support and help her. It's all about time. It 311 00:14:44,400 --> 00:14:46,280 Speaker 2: really is all about time. 312 00:14:46,160 --> 00:14:49,280 Speaker 1: To a child. Love is spelled tea. I am. We 313 00:14:49,360 --> 00:14:52,040 Speaker 1: hope you've enjoyed the Happy Families podcast today. It's produced 314 00:14:52,040 --> 00:14:53,960 Speaker 1: by Justin Rowlan from Bridge Media. Craig Bruce is our 315 00:14:54,000 --> 00:14:56,560 Speaker 1: executive producer. For more information about how to make your 316 00:14:56,560 --> 00:14:59,200 Speaker 1: family happier, where at happy families dot com, dot a 317 00:14:59,320 --> 00:15:01,160 Speaker 1: U and on all the social platforms.