WEBVTT - FULL SHOW: Is this wedding tradition linked to divorce? 0:00:10.379 --> 0:00:14.219 I heard podcasts he More Kiss podcast playlist and listen 0:00:14.259 --> 0:00:16.099 live on the Free I Hunt app. 0:00:19.499 --> 0:00:22.099 Good Pickup with Britt Hockley and Laura. 0:00:21.979 --> 0:00:26.618 Ben Bady Your work, our windows down, that's my world 0:00:26.659 --> 0:00:29.579 rison the dust only good fabs are all down. 0:00:30.659 --> 0:00:33.459 I've done much, but yeah I'm not. 0:00:33.899 --> 0:00:35.659 I'll big get and what I want. 0:00:35.939 --> 0:00:37.059 It don't matter where. 0:00:37.699 --> 0:00:41.179 This is the pickup, Hi, guys, it's the pickup with 0:00:41.219 --> 0:00:42.579 Britt Hockley and Laura Ben. 0:00:43.099 --> 0:00:45.219 How are we feeling? It's hump days? 0:00:45.299 --> 0:00:45.539 Mate? 0:00:45.539 --> 0:00:48.899 Today was It was a slow start, That's for sure, 0:00:48.939 --> 0:00:49.818 But now I'm feeling good. 0:00:49.819 --> 0:00:51.139 I'm glad I'm here. Put it that way. 0:00:51.179 --> 0:00:52.259 Why was it a slow start? 0:00:52.379 --> 0:00:52.939 I woke up? 0:00:53.219 --> 0:00:56.019 Kids just can just be so irrational and like, I 0:00:56.019 --> 0:00:57.819 feel like anytime I complain about mine, I need to 0:00:57.819 --> 0:00:59.499 preface it with how much I love being a mom. 0:00:59.579 --> 0:01:00.659 I do, that's. 0:01:00.459 --> 0:01:03.779 Every mom, but some parent has to say, like before I. 0:01:03.739 --> 0:01:06.059 Have my complaint, I love my children you just like 0:01:06.099 --> 0:01:08.499 some days are harder than others, and some some days 0:01:08.739 --> 0:01:11.099 more like fulfilling with love than others. And this morning 0:01:11.179 --> 0:01:13.539 was not one of those days. I woke up to Lola. 0:01:13.818 --> 0:01:16.699 She's my four year old. She was crying in bed, 0:01:16.738 --> 0:01:18.339 and I went in and she's been a bit six 0:01:18.378 --> 0:01:20.899 so I was like, what's wrong, Sweedie, and that crying 0:01:20.938 --> 0:01:25.299 stemmed for twenty minutes, where she, on repeat, said I 0:01:25.378 --> 0:01:28.259 want to be awake, but I'm tired, and that went 0:01:28.298 --> 0:01:30.178 over and over and over and she just couldn't She 0:01:30.259 --> 0:01:31.738 physically couldn't get out of bed. 0:01:31.578 --> 0:01:33.419 Because she just I want to be awake. 0:01:33.699 --> 0:01:34.938 I want to be And I was like, Babe, you 0:01:34.938 --> 0:01:36.898 are yelling at me and you're hitting me. That would 0:01:36.899 --> 0:01:37.978 indicate that you were awake. 0:01:38.059 --> 0:01:40.138 You are well, You are well and truly awake. 0:01:40.298 --> 0:01:42.499 We were talking about this a bit earlier, but I. 0:01:42.419 --> 0:01:45.818 Just think it's so funny when it transitions from everything 0:01:45.859 --> 0:01:48.179 that you hate as a kid you really love as 0:01:48.179 --> 0:01:48.659 an adult. 0:01:48.699 --> 0:01:50.859 Like I just want to nap. I want to sleep. 0:01:50.979 --> 0:01:54.739 I want to be relaxed, horizontal, someone feed me, seeing 0:01:54.779 --> 0:01:56.659 me nursery rhyme, tickle my head and put me to bed. 0:01:56.699 --> 0:01:57.338 That's like my dream. 0:01:57.419 --> 0:01:58.899 I was like, baby, you can stay in bed for 0:01:58.939 --> 0:02:01.579 a little while and rest. I don't want to rest. 0:02:01.659 --> 0:02:03.059 I wish i'd gotten the audio of it. 0:02:02.859 --> 0:02:05.619 It was so irrational and unreasonable, and I was like, 0:02:05.699 --> 0:02:06.898 you know what, I gotta go to work. 0:02:07.019 --> 0:02:07.819 This is Dad's problem. 0:02:08.099 --> 0:02:08.298 Dad. 0:02:10.739 --> 0:02:14.099 Hey, if you guys did miss it earlier this week 0:02:14.139 --> 0:02:15.099 I get married. 0:02:15.379 --> 0:02:16.059 I am married. 0:02:16.179 --> 0:02:20.258 I am a missus secret officially I will stay Missus Hockley. 0:02:20.698 --> 0:02:23.579 But Ben my husband, he's in Australia. He came on 0:02:23.619 --> 0:02:24.459 the show on Monday. 0:02:24.538 --> 0:02:27.979 But because some of you lucky ducks had a public holiday, 0:02:27.978 --> 0:02:29.538 so you weren't in the car, you weren't at work, 0:02:29.739 --> 0:02:31.499 we had a bunch of people slidding too, the DM 0:02:31.538 --> 0:02:33.339 saying they missed the chat and they wanted to hear 0:02:33.379 --> 0:02:35.179 it again. So we are going to replace some of 0:02:35.219 --> 0:02:38.139 that after the break, and it was very funny. We 0:02:38.219 --> 0:02:40.819 did definitely have a few mishaps on the day of 0:02:40.819 --> 0:02:41.219 the wedding. 0:02:41.299 --> 0:02:43.779 I mean when I'm blaming Ben basically, to. 0:02:43.698 --> 0:02:45.739 Be fair, the only person that you can be like 0:02:45.779 --> 0:02:47.619 thankful for that that wedding actually came together. 0:02:48.099 --> 0:02:48.978 It's to yourself and. 0:02:48.899 --> 0:02:51.619 My wedding planner, and you know, and Ben showed up 0:02:51.659 --> 0:02:53.219 and he did his part by saying I. 0:02:53.179 --> 0:02:53.858 Do so well done. 0:02:54.059 --> 0:02:56.779 You know, we barely showed up in time. No, there's 0:02:56.819 --> 0:02:58.618 a lot going on anyway. I love your band. After 0:02:58.659 --> 0:03:01.778 the break, will you hear all about it. 0:03:01.939 --> 0:03:02.939 Ben, welcome to the show. 0:03:03.138 --> 0:03:04.819 Thanks guys, good to see you again. 0:03:04.939 --> 0:03:06.258 How do you feel as a husband. 0:03:09.258 --> 0:03:11.099 Let's really let's get into the highlights. How are you 0:03:11.099 --> 0:03:11.979 feeling as a husband. 0:03:12.418 --> 0:03:13.219 Yeah? 0:03:13.418 --> 0:03:17.138 Same, really but we had incredible time, so really really happy, 0:03:17.619 --> 0:03:18.458 a little bit tired. 0:03:18.579 --> 0:03:20.499 Yeah, do you know what I do want to know? Ben? 0:03:20.538 --> 0:03:22.659 I heard that you showed up to. 0:03:22.619 --> 0:03:25.699 Your own wedding without any pants to wear. It to 0:03:25.779 --> 0:03:28.619 said wedding. You had a year to organize a suit 0:03:28.659 --> 0:03:32.298 and it was the one thing that brit was constantly 0:03:32.339 --> 0:03:36.499 fearful about, and come said wedding day, somebody didn't have pants. 0:03:36.499 --> 0:03:39.859 Before I let him speak, Ben, I just want to 0:03:39.859 --> 0:03:40.339 set it up. 0:03:40.379 --> 0:03:42.779 Not only did he have a year, he left it 0:03:42.859 --> 0:03:45.299 until the last week before the wedding and I had 0:03:45.339 --> 0:03:46.859 to still organize it for him. 0:03:46.899 --> 0:03:50.299 So his job was just to get dressed. So talk 0:03:50.339 --> 0:03:51.419 to us about how that went. 0:03:51.499 --> 0:03:55.459 Ben, Yes, my pants shrunk, which is not ideal when 0:03:55.499 --> 0:03:57.739 your legs are the size of my legs, but. 0:03:58.179 --> 0:03:59.939 It was all fine. Nobody noticed. 0:04:00.099 --> 0:04:02.259 I'm not sure how you got this information because it 0:04:02.339 --> 0:04:04.419 was very secrets with my groomsmen. 0:04:04.539 --> 0:04:08.139 But yes, there were some safety pins in my pants. 0:04:08.179 --> 0:04:11.739 But it's all fine, nobody got stung. Nobody knows, just except. 0:04:11.499 --> 0:04:12.339 For you, Laura. 0:04:12.779 --> 0:04:14.499 We want to know, and we need to set this up. 0:04:14.859 --> 0:04:16.219 You can't just say my pants trunk. 0:04:16.259 --> 0:04:17.659 It's not like Doctor Doolittle. 0:04:17.379 --> 0:04:20.019 Or whatever that show was, I honey, I shrunk the kids. 0:04:20.019 --> 0:04:22.259 Sorry, really different shows that. 0:04:22.859 --> 0:04:23.899 Okay, let me set this up. 0:04:24.139 --> 0:04:27.259 Ben decided to wear his wedding suit the week before 0:04:27.259 --> 0:04:28.459 to someone else's wedding and. 0:04:28.459 --> 0:04:30.699 I said, baby, efficient, Swiss efficiency. 0:04:30.779 --> 0:04:32.819 I said, baby, let's maybe like save the wedding suit 0:04:32.859 --> 0:04:35.259 for the big day and get you a different suit. 0:04:35.979 --> 0:04:37.619 No, Ben, just onto road test and I like that. 0:04:38.139 --> 0:04:39.739 He goes, no, no, no, no, no, no, no, just fine, 0:04:39.739 --> 0:04:40.779 it's Fine's fine anyway. 0:04:40.819 --> 0:04:42.819 He gets it dirty. We get to BALI. 0:04:43.139 --> 0:04:46.379 I said, you have to dry clean this suit three 0:04:46.459 --> 0:04:48.299 days in advance, because that's how long it takes. Do 0:04:48.419 --> 0:04:50.099 not forget to give it to the hotel and send 0:04:50.099 --> 0:04:53.819 it off, babe, please, I've got this. So two days 0:04:53.819 --> 0:04:55.499 before the wedding, I say, hey, did you dry clean 0:04:55.499 --> 0:04:58.139 the suit? He's like, I forgot. He goes to try 0:04:58.179 --> 0:04:59.739 and do it and he's like, babe, problem. They say 0:04:59.739 --> 0:05:01.739 it's going to take three days. I said, I know, Ben. 0:05:01.859 --> 0:05:04.579 The weddings in two days, so Ben starts splashing money around. 0:05:04.739 --> 0:05:07.539 Someone eventually says, I'll do it. He gets the suit 0:05:07.579 --> 0:05:10.859 back an hour before we're supposed to walk down. He 0:05:10.939 --> 0:05:13.819 can't get it on because it's like it's like jeggings. 0:05:13.859 --> 0:05:15.899 Did you check it, like when it came back from 0:05:16.099 --> 0:05:17.459 the Balinese dry cleaner? 0:05:17.539 --> 0:05:18.939 Did you think I might look at this? 0:05:19.459 --> 0:05:21.539 I had my shirt cleaned as well, but it's my 0:05:21.619 --> 0:05:24.339 backup shirt, and I thought, Okay, everything's in order, brilliant, 0:05:24.339 --> 0:05:26.619 done it, but it's going to be happy super And 0:05:26.739 --> 0:05:28.779 once I actually looked at them put them on, I 0:05:28.819 --> 0:05:30.339 was like, they're not my pants. 0:05:30.339 --> 0:05:31.059 They're too small. 0:05:31.179 --> 0:05:31.739 They didn't fit. 0:05:31.859 --> 0:05:34.699 They didn't fit, so yeah, I had to stretch them 0:05:34.699 --> 0:05:37.579 out a little bit and add emergency length. 0:05:37.659 --> 0:05:39.779 It's like so like add length to the bottom. 0:05:39.859 --> 0:05:42.099 Twenty minutes before we walked down the aist, I had 0:05:42.099 --> 0:05:42.819 the tailor come in. 0:05:42.939 --> 0:05:43.619 So it's all done. 0:05:43.699 --> 0:05:46.779 We're all done at about five centimeters added. And I 0:05:46.779 --> 0:05:49.699 think the wedding planner came to measure my waist and 0:05:49.699 --> 0:05:51.859 my jeans to buy a backup. 0:05:51.459 --> 0:05:54.899 Pants pants, so he couldn't get the zipper up either, 0:05:54.979 --> 0:05:55.579 So I did. 0:05:55.659 --> 0:05:57.259 I did see. I mean, I had a pretty front 0:05:57.339 --> 0:05:57.699 row seat. 0:05:57.779 --> 0:05:58.539 Where are you looking? 0:05:59.059 --> 0:06:02.579 And I see that your pants were safety pin together 0:06:02.619 --> 0:06:05.299 at the fire you couldn't tell that they were safety 0:06:05.339 --> 0:06:07.739 pin but the zipper wasn't zippering. At that point, I 0:06:07.779 --> 0:06:08.459 was like, something's going on. 0:06:08.939 --> 0:06:11.219 Zipper was stuck and there was no way to unstuck them. 0:06:11.259 --> 0:06:13.579 So his one job of just putting the pants on 0:06:14.099 --> 0:06:17.899 somehow managed to end up with you having no pants 0:06:17.939 --> 0:06:21.139 that fit their skin tight, they're done up with safety pins. 0:06:21.739 --> 0:06:24.259 It was you that was authentically me. 0:06:24.939 --> 0:06:27.379 You really kick started your responsibilities. 0:06:27.579 --> 0:06:31.419 You did make it, and you did look amazing. Actually, Ben, 0:06:31.459 --> 0:06:34.738 you looked amazing Britney. You also looked amazing. Very important. 0:06:34.779 --> 0:06:36.339 I know that how much effort went into what you 0:06:36.379 --> 0:06:36.819 were wearing. 0:06:37.299 --> 0:06:38.739 Ben. Not only was it the. 0:06:38.739 --> 0:06:41.619 Zipper and the pants, but also five days beforehand we 0:06:41.659 --> 0:06:43.939 discovered that your ring didn't fit you either, which had 0:06:43.939 --> 0:06:46.539 to be completely remade from scratch in five days. 0:06:46.579 --> 0:06:48.819 So like I love with all the time. 0:06:48.539 --> 0:06:51.539 That you had between you guys to get this organized, Ben, 0:06:51.579 --> 0:06:51.939 you were. 0:06:51.859 --> 0:06:53.859 The week it really were. 0:06:54.219 --> 0:06:56.299 I mean, is that any surprise? Really? Yeah? 0:06:56.379 --> 0:07:00.019 No, But to be fair and it's absolutely no surprise. 0:07:00.099 --> 0:07:05.259 The wedding was incredible. It was like it was out 0:07:05.299 --> 0:07:07.259 of a movie or a fairy tale. It was really 0:07:07.259 --> 0:07:09.299 the most beautiful wedding that I think I've ever seen. 0:07:09.819 --> 0:07:11.139 I would can't mind in that as well. 0:07:11.219 --> 0:07:14.459 It was stunning at your wedding, it was amazing. 0:07:14.539 --> 0:07:17.539 It was like I say, went off without a hitch. 0:07:17.659 --> 0:07:20.579 There were hitches. Did our photographer cancel five days before? 0:07:20.659 --> 0:07:20.899 Yeah? 0:07:20.939 --> 0:07:23.139 Did our ring not work? We wasted it? Yes? Did 0:07:23.139 --> 0:07:23.699 you have pants? 0:07:23.819 --> 0:07:23.939 No? 0:07:25.179 --> 0:07:27.859 Did our cake turn up like something we didn't order? 0:07:27.899 --> 0:07:30.739 And it was burnt little crispy breakfast. Yes, there were 0:07:30.779 --> 0:07:32.779 things that happened. But at the end of the day, 0:07:33.259 --> 0:07:35.699 I married the love of my life with or without pants. 0:07:35.739 --> 0:07:40.659 I was taking you anyway, Ben, So it was spectacular. 0:07:42.139 --> 0:07:42.779 Now, Britt, you. 0:07:42.739 --> 0:07:46.219 Might remember a few weeks back we were speaking about 0:07:47.179 --> 0:07:49.339 there's kind of been this real change and shift in 0:07:49.419 --> 0:07:52.859 perceptions around letting your kids sleep over at people's houses. 0:07:52.899 --> 0:07:56.139 And there's a debate that's been happening online as to whether, firstly, 0:07:56.179 --> 0:07:58.539 what is the right age, and as to whether it's 0:07:58.579 --> 0:08:01.819 the right thing for your kids' safety to let them 0:08:01.899 --> 0:08:04.899 sleep over at friends' houses. And it's an interesting one 0:08:04.899 --> 0:08:07.379 because we talked about it. It blew up on socials. 0:08:08.019 --> 0:08:09.979 I don't know how I feel about it as a 0:08:10.059 --> 0:08:12.859 mum to two little girls, because I have seen some 0:08:12.979 --> 0:08:16.899 truly harrowing stories that have been shared on social media 0:08:16.979 --> 0:08:19.859 about horrible things that have happened on sleepovers. But I 0:08:19.899 --> 0:08:22.219 also know that it's kind of like a rite of 0:08:22.219 --> 0:08:24.459 passage for kids, and we all did it as kids 0:08:24.539 --> 0:08:26.499 and it's some of the best memories, even though you 0:08:26.539 --> 0:08:29.019 come back tired and no one slept, and like you know, 0:08:29.579 --> 0:08:31.059 also has a downside. 0:08:30.699 --> 0:08:32.179 You know what, I the only thing I'll quickly had 0:08:32.219 --> 0:08:33.659 to this before because I know it's serious. 0:08:33.699 --> 0:08:36.019 But my best friend reminded me on the weekend. 0:08:36.059 --> 0:08:38.019 We've been best friends for thirty years and we used 0:08:38.019 --> 0:08:39.139 to say each other's house all the time. 0:08:39.219 --> 0:08:40.779 She's like, remember how every time. 0:08:40.659 --> 0:08:42.579 We'd have a sleepover, you'd only come if you liked 0:08:42.579 --> 0:08:45.939 what we had for dinner, Like I used to say eating. 0:08:46.179 --> 0:08:47.579 She's like, want to save tonight and I was like, 0:08:47.779 --> 0:08:49.578 what's for dinner? I was like eight? She told me 0:08:49.659 --> 0:08:50.859 if I did like it, I wouldn't go. 0:08:51.379 --> 0:08:53.339 I like that you had strong boundaries even as an 0:08:53.379 --> 0:08:55.259 eight year old, did I knew what I wanted well? 0:08:55.259 --> 0:08:57.139 Look, it really did blow up on socials. 0:08:57.179 --> 0:09:00.419 So many people were discussing the fore and against it. 0:09:00.819 --> 0:09:02.779 There's a lot of families who are kind of taking 0:09:02.819 --> 0:09:05.419 the rout now of not letting their kids go to sleepovers. 0:09:05.699 --> 0:09:06.659 But then there's also. 0:09:06.379 --> 0:09:08.338 People who think that maybe we're wrapping our kids too 0:09:08.379 --> 0:09:11.299 much cotton wool. Someone who did slide into our DMS 0:09:11.539 --> 0:09:15.259 is Genevieve Mua now Jen Is. She's an Obstretix social 0:09:15.259 --> 0:09:19.419 worker and she also has the business connected parenting, and 0:09:20.059 --> 0:09:22.659 it was really nice to chat to someone who actually 0:09:22.659 --> 0:09:24.619 has insight into this. Not only does she have four 0:09:24.619 --> 0:09:26.979 boys herself, but she's helped a lot of parents across 0:09:26.979 --> 0:09:28.979 the country manage what is a great way of finding 0:09:29.019 --> 0:09:31.699 a middle ground in this, Jen, welcome to the show. 0:09:32.299 --> 0:09:33.539 Thank you so much for having me. 0:09:33.579 --> 0:09:36.939 Guys, Jen, I'm assuming the middle ground isn't asking what 0:09:36.939 --> 0:09:39.019 they've got for dinner. 0:09:39.539 --> 0:09:42.419 I love that though, that is brilliant. I'm asking that next, 0:09:42.419 --> 0:09:44.219 so I get asked on the sleepover for sure? 0:09:44.499 --> 0:09:46.499 Do you think that this is not something that parents 0:09:46.539 --> 0:09:48.739 should be particularly concerned about or. 0:09:48.739 --> 0:09:50.139 Do you feel as though. 0:09:50.019 --> 0:09:52.659 That maybe there has been I guess a bit of 0:09:52.699 --> 0:09:55.339 fear mungering happening online and on social media at the 0:09:55.339 --> 0:09:57.419 moment around this whole sleepover debate. 0:09:58.219 --> 0:10:00.179 I think it's hard to be a parent in general. 0:10:00.299 --> 0:10:03.819 These days. We have so much information about what's good 0:10:03.859 --> 0:10:06.819 for kids and what is a risk for kids. Yeah, 0:10:06.859 --> 0:10:08.779 from everything from how we should be seed in them, 0:10:08.779 --> 0:10:11.099 how we keep them safe, how we educate them. There's 0:10:11.139 --> 0:10:13.539 so much pressure. One of the things that I think 0:10:13.619 --> 0:10:15.859 is a good thing, right is there's been a massive 0:10:15.859 --> 0:10:18.539 social change in our understanding of what the risk to 0:10:18.659 --> 0:10:21.899 kids are. And we now know that when it comes 0:10:21.939 --> 0:10:23.979 to those risks or when things happen to kids that 0:10:24.019 --> 0:10:26.659 we would like to protect them from, ninety percent of 0:10:26.699 --> 0:10:29.299 the time that happens at the hands of someone we 0:10:29.379 --> 0:10:32.019 know and trust. Now that's why the sleepover thing has 0:10:32.059 --> 0:10:35.179 become an issue. Now think back to the old days 0:10:35.219 --> 0:10:38.579 where we thought the risk was strangers and that's what 0:10:38.619 --> 0:10:40.979 we want kids about, and we now know how we 0:10:41.059 --> 0:10:44.059 had that wrong. So I love that parents have access 0:10:44.099 --> 0:10:47.379 to the right information now about how to protect their kids. 0:10:47.979 --> 0:10:50.099 You know, we could say that's no sleepovers ever, but 0:10:50.139 --> 0:10:53.499 we let our kids go online where so many similar 0:10:53.579 --> 0:10:56.779 tricky things can happen online. Right, So what we really 0:10:56.779 --> 0:10:59.579 want to do is start to have a sense of well, 0:10:59.619 --> 0:11:03.059 who is my kid? Where are they going? So how 0:11:03.099 --> 0:11:06.339 well do I know that family? In terms of my kids, 0:11:06.539 --> 0:11:09.619 I'm looking for certain levels of skill. Is my child 0:11:09.659 --> 0:11:12.459 at an age where they absolutely know they could come 0:11:12.459 --> 0:11:14.739 to me if they felt uncomfortable they got asked to 0:11:14.779 --> 0:11:18.019 go home? Could they communicate that if they needed to? 0:11:18.659 --> 0:11:21.099 If my child has those skills, if I have someone 0:11:21.139 --> 0:11:23.139 in my life where I really trust and I've known 0:11:23.179 --> 0:11:25.899 them for a while, then that's a really different thing 0:11:26.019 --> 0:11:27.779 than if they don't have those skills. 0:11:27.819 --> 0:11:29.859 But I guess it's not particularly an age thing then 0:11:29.979 --> 0:11:33.219 is it? Because kids all develop a different ages and phases. 0:11:33.259 --> 0:11:33.499 You know? 0:11:33.619 --> 0:11:36.779 I would say that some kids have those communication skills 0:11:36.779 --> 0:11:37.578 earlier than others. 0:11:38.259 --> 0:11:41.259 Absolutely, And with my four boys, there was one that 0:11:41.339 --> 0:11:43.819 I was a lot later in letting him go for 0:11:43.899 --> 0:11:47.859 his first sleepover simply because he actually had a delay 0:11:47.899 --> 0:11:50.699 with his speech. He was not a kid that would 0:11:50.739 --> 0:11:53.179 speak up. He was really kind of quiet by nature, 0:11:53.339 --> 0:11:55.419 really struggled to put his hand up in class and 0:11:55.459 --> 0:11:57.899 say what he needed. I wasn't going to send him 0:11:57.939 --> 0:12:00.859 off because he'd never be able to speak up. So 0:12:00.899 --> 0:12:03.499 it's kind of about looking at who we've got, but 0:12:03.579 --> 0:12:05.259 also who we've got in our lives, and I want 0:12:05.299 --> 0:12:07.659 to kind of acknowledge they'd be single parents that do 0:12:07.699 --> 0:12:10.019 not have an option if they're doing shipwork, then to 0:12:10.099 --> 0:12:13.099 have sometimes the village step in and support them. We 0:12:13.179 --> 0:12:16.939 might have great relatives and grandparents, we might have really 0:12:16.939 --> 0:12:19.699 close family friends that we've known and we intimately know 0:12:19.819 --> 0:12:23.299 really well. So I think it's also about every situation 0:12:23.419 --> 0:12:26.139 is different, but it's sort of knowing who we've got. 0:12:26.179 --> 0:12:28.578 But the final thing that we can all do from 0:12:28.659 --> 0:12:33.059 a really young age, and that is really talk openly 0:12:33.139 --> 0:12:35.819 and honestly to your kids about a couple of key things. 0:12:36.099 --> 0:12:39.979 One is you know the normal names of body parts 0:12:40.019 --> 0:12:41.979 and kind of making sure we have open and honest 0:12:41.979 --> 0:12:45.299 conversations about those things. Teaching our kids things like you 0:12:45.339 --> 0:12:47.419 don't have to hug your uncle if you don't want to, 0:12:47.459 --> 0:12:49.338 you can give them a halfh five. So that's body 0:12:49.379 --> 0:12:51.979 autonomy and having a sense of that stuff from a 0:12:52.019 --> 0:12:54.579 really young age. And the final thing, and I think 0:12:54.619 --> 0:12:57.659 this matters more than anything else, there is nothing you 0:12:57.659 --> 0:12:59.499 could ever do or say that would make me love 0:12:59.539 --> 0:13:02.139 you less. There's nothing you can't tell me. I will 0:13:02.259 --> 0:13:05.659 always believe you, and that one you have to keep 0:13:05.699 --> 0:13:08.859 saying from the beginning all the way through. You know, 0:13:08.939 --> 0:13:11.979 at sixteen, we're still saying the same thing. You're going 0:13:12.019 --> 0:13:15.259 out tonight. There is nothing that could happen or that 0:13:15.339 --> 0:13:17.859 you could do where you can't call me and I 0:13:17.899 --> 0:13:19.779 wouldn't be there on your side to help you. 0:13:19.859 --> 0:13:22.179 Jen out of curiosity, how old are your kids when 0:13:22.179 --> 0:13:23.739 you let them sleep over at people's houses? 0:13:24.579 --> 0:13:28.939 So look really different ages depending on the child. But 0:13:29.659 --> 0:13:31.819 like I think if we were to say like a 0:13:31.979 --> 0:13:35.939 good age in general, I think it's probably somewhere upwards 0:13:35.939 --> 0:13:40.259 of maybe eight ish, Like it's somewhere around there that 0:13:40.339 --> 0:13:43.579 I think, depending on the child. And again, kids are 0:13:43.619 --> 0:13:45.419 going to be so different. For one of my kids, 0:13:45.419 --> 0:13:47.619 he was that little bit older. He just wasn't ready. 0:13:48.539 --> 0:13:50.779 And for some kids that might be younger, it might 0:13:50.819 --> 0:13:53.179 be from six that you have a good friend and 0:13:53.379 --> 0:13:56.059 there's a really great thing going on. I know there's 0:13:56.099 --> 0:13:58.459 been some guidelines put out by the government where they're 0:13:58.459 --> 0:14:02.939 saying from about eleven. I think that's quite old myself, 0:14:03.099 --> 0:14:06.339 because most kids will go on their first school camp 0:14:06.379 --> 0:14:09.858 at around eleven, and I kind of think some experience 0:14:10.459 --> 0:14:13.179 in a way that is safe. It's probably good for kids. 0:14:13.499 --> 0:14:14.979 Yeah, I mean you don't think about that too. I 0:14:15.019 --> 0:14:17.899 remember going on school camp lucky. My mom never really 0:14:17.979 --> 0:14:20.179 let us stay at people's houses, but they always say 0:14:20.219 --> 0:14:21.739 to ours, so I was kind of used to the 0:14:21.739 --> 0:14:22.819 sleepover environment. 0:14:23.019 --> 0:14:25.699 Got ours everywhere I did was shipping me out. 0:14:25.979 --> 0:14:28.619 I didn't know your mum also had four kids, and 0:14:28.619 --> 0:14:29.899 she was like, just get one of them out of 0:14:29.899 --> 0:14:30.179 the house. 0:14:30.219 --> 0:14:32.219 That kids, and they were all working. They were like, 0:14:32.419 --> 0:14:35.019 find a friend today, somewhere else. 0:14:35.299 --> 0:14:37.459 Thanking so much, Jen, thanks for joining the show. 0:14:38.179 --> 0:14:39.099 Absolute pleasure. 0:14:39.099 --> 0:14:43.019 Guys, we Laura are in a bit of a wedding 0:14:43.059 --> 0:14:44.059 fever at the moment. 0:14:44.099 --> 0:14:45.619 I promise it will die down, but. 0:14:45.619 --> 0:14:47.979 I don't think it will. It's been over a year now, but. 0:14:47.939 --> 0:14:49.619 For me, I only got married a week ago, so, 0:14:49.979 --> 0:14:54.059 like my algorithm online is still very heavy wedding related. 0:14:54.139 --> 0:14:56.939 Everything about weddings and this is not science, but they're 0:14:56.939 --> 0:15:00.219 going to found a new indicator of divorce from a wedding. 0:15:00.859 --> 0:15:03.659 So if you go to a wedding, you might have 0:15:03.819 --> 0:15:07.259 seen like this old school tradition where people smash the 0:15:07.379 --> 0:15:10.699 cake into the bride's face, like the groom they cut 0:15:10.739 --> 0:15:13.099 the cake it's cute photos videos, and then the groom 0:15:13.099 --> 0:15:15.099 picks up a chunk of cake and smash it in 0:15:15.099 --> 0:15:15.779 the bride's face. 0:15:16.339 --> 0:15:19.219 I've seen this trending on socials at the moment because 0:15:19.259 --> 0:15:21.419 I've definitely been to a wedding where both the bride 0:15:21.459 --> 0:15:22.619 and groom did it to each other. 0:15:22.819 --> 0:15:23.979 Yeah, and that was cute. 0:15:24.259 --> 0:15:28.139 It was cute they did it, they were wanting to 0:15:28.139 --> 0:15:30.859 do it to each other. They were both consenting. There's 0:15:30.859 --> 0:15:32.979 been a few that have gone and circulated around socials 0:15:33.019 --> 0:15:35.099 at the moment where like the man grabs the back 0:15:35.139 --> 0:15:38.259 of the his bride's head and shoves a whole face 0:15:38.339 --> 0:15:41.099 Like imagine sitting there getting your hair, makeup and everything 0:15:41.139 --> 0:15:43.619 done for hours, only to have your entire head dumped 0:15:43.659 --> 0:15:44.779 into a three der cake. 0:15:44.979 --> 0:15:46.579 Yeah, and then you see all the ones that are 0:15:46.579 --> 0:15:49.259 like not just not consenting, but the ones that end 0:15:49.299 --> 0:15:49.899 in injury. 0:15:49.939 --> 0:15:51.899 And that's actually the one I'm going to talk about today. 0:15:52.219 --> 0:15:55.299 There's one particularly viral real that's going There's a thread 0:15:55.339 --> 0:15:58.499 on Reddit, but a man smashes the cake into his 0:15:58.579 --> 0:16:00.699 bride's face, but with a fork, like it was like 0:16:00.899 --> 0:16:02.699 he'd obviously scooped it up on a fork, puts it 0:16:02.699 --> 0:16:05.739 into her face and the fork comes through and cuts 0:16:05.779 --> 0:16:07.219 her lip like through. 0:16:06.939 --> 0:16:09.459 The cake, so all of a sudden she bleeding. She's 0:16:09.499 --> 0:16:10.219 it's a whole thing. 0:16:10.259 --> 0:16:10.979 Stabbed it with a form. 0:16:11.139 --> 0:16:12.899 You'll literally stabbed your wife. 0:16:12.579 --> 0:16:15.059 With a fork. But there are other ones too, like 0:16:15.819 --> 0:16:17.659 a lot of cakes. And this is something that I 0:16:17.779 --> 0:16:20.339 learned only just getting married. You know, all these huge, 0:16:20.379 --> 0:16:23.339 big teared cakes. I always thought they were all cake, 0:16:23.459 --> 0:16:25.819