1 00:00:00,160 --> 00:00:03,160 Speaker 1: I would like to acknowledge the traditional owners of the 2 00:00:03,279 --> 00:00:06,600 Speaker 1: land on which this episode is being recorded, the Komboo 3 00:00:06,720 --> 00:00:10,560 Speaker 1: Marry people. We pay our respects to elders past, present 4 00:00:10,600 --> 00:00:14,320 Speaker 1: and emerging and extend that respect to all Aboriginal and 5 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:22,680 Speaker 1: Torres Strait Islander peoples. Today I'm your host, Georgie Stevenson, 6 00:00:22,800 --> 00:00:30,240 Speaker 1: and this is the Rise and Concer podcast. This is 7 00:00:30,280 --> 00:00:33,199 Speaker 1: the podcast where we ch have mindset, self development and 8 00:00:33,280 --> 00:00:37,159 Speaker 1: becoming your higher self mix soon with a lot of laughs, 9 00:00:37,280 --> 00:00:40,360 Speaker 1: plus behind the scenes of my life running two businesses 10 00:00:40,479 --> 00:00:43,839 Speaker 1: and being among Think of us as the perfect combo 11 00:00:43,960 --> 00:00:47,479 Speaker 1: of brunch with your besties mixed with self development. No 12 00:00:47,560 --> 00:00:49,879 Speaker 1: matter where you are in your journey, we're here to 13 00:00:49,920 --> 00:00:53,840 Speaker 1: help you be curious, pull yourself out, and embrace radical 14 00:00:53,960 --> 00:00:58,480 Speaker 1: self awareness. If you're ready to get into the driver's 15 00:00:58,520 --> 00:01:01,320 Speaker 1: seat of your own life and stop letting life pass 16 00:01:01,360 --> 00:01:01,920 Speaker 1: you by. 17 00:01:02,400 --> 00:01:03,560 Speaker 2: Then you're in the right place. 18 00:01:10,000 --> 00:01:13,400 Speaker 1: Hello everybody, and welcome back to the Rise and Conquered 19 00:01:13,400 --> 00:01:19,399 Speaker 1: Potty and Happy Valentine's or Galentine's Day for tomorrow. So 20 00:01:19,480 --> 00:01:23,760 Speaker 1: today we have a fun episode with Timothy, my husband 21 00:01:24,400 --> 00:01:28,520 Speaker 1: for Valentine's Day, and we are answering some of your 22 00:01:28,640 --> 00:01:33,000 Speaker 1: most asked questions, like how we keep things spicy after 23 00:01:33,040 --> 00:01:37,199 Speaker 1: being together for over twelve years, how to navigate conflicts 24 00:01:37,240 --> 00:01:41,560 Speaker 1: as a couple, and basically all about how our dynamic 25 00:01:41,640 --> 00:01:45,720 Speaker 1: has changed since having Ivy, our two year old. 26 00:01:45,600 --> 00:01:47,280 Speaker 2: Daughter, and so many more. 27 00:01:47,600 --> 00:01:50,360 Speaker 1: But before we get into this episode, a couple of 28 00:01:50,440 --> 00:01:56,560 Speaker 1: little announcements. So we launched our app last week, a tr. 29 00:01:56,520 --> 00:02:01,960 Speaker 2: So exciting we Rise app and honestly, I still can't 30 00:02:01,960 --> 00:02:02,320 Speaker 2: believe it. 31 00:02:02,400 --> 00:02:05,000 Speaker 1: I'm on such a high and just to see everyone's 32 00:02:05,080 --> 00:02:09,080 Speaker 1: reactions and just to see like all the hard work 33 00:02:09,160 --> 00:02:11,880 Speaker 1: that has happened over I don't know, like a year 34 00:02:12,120 --> 00:02:16,239 Speaker 1: more then more than a year come together and it's 35 00:02:16,280 --> 00:02:19,760 Speaker 1: just been incredible. I feel like I hate to say this, 36 00:02:19,880 --> 00:02:23,040 Speaker 1: but just being very real, just being very real is 37 00:02:23,120 --> 00:02:27,840 Speaker 1: like relieved, yeah, because it's there was so much anticipation, 38 00:02:28,160 --> 00:02:31,000 Speaker 1: there was so much excitement, and now it's like it's 39 00:02:31,120 --> 00:02:33,359 Speaker 1: out into the world and people can use it and 40 00:02:33,400 --> 00:02:38,120 Speaker 1: get onto it. And I'm like, I agree, I felt 41 00:02:38,160 --> 00:02:39,040 Speaker 1: the exact same. 42 00:02:39,280 --> 00:02:41,720 Speaker 3: I think we were all feeling it in the office, 43 00:02:41,800 --> 00:02:43,640 Speaker 3: just like a little bit of the anxiety the stress 44 00:02:44,160 --> 00:02:46,919 Speaker 3: as before any big launch, except it's like the biggest 45 00:02:46,960 --> 00:02:49,640 Speaker 3: launch we've ever done, and it was such a massive step. 46 00:02:49,639 --> 00:02:51,520 Speaker 3: But to see how well it's been received and how 47 00:02:51,520 --> 00:02:54,480 Speaker 3: incredible the community in it already is. 48 00:02:55,160 --> 00:02:58,800 Speaker 1: It's just amazing. Like the conversation's already happening in there 49 00:02:59,320 --> 00:03:01,679 Speaker 1: with the community is actually wild. I like read it, 50 00:03:01,840 --> 00:03:02,960 Speaker 1: I'm like I want to cry that. 51 00:03:03,000 --> 00:03:04,960 Speaker 2: There's so sweet. 52 00:03:05,360 --> 00:03:07,160 Speaker 1: So if you guys want to check out the Rise app, 53 00:03:07,200 --> 00:03:10,440 Speaker 1: we will put a link in the show notes. And basically, 54 00:03:10,480 --> 00:03:13,920 Speaker 1: we just created an app where you have a space 55 00:03:14,080 --> 00:03:17,280 Speaker 1: to go to for all things personal developments. So you 56 00:03:17,320 --> 00:03:21,920 Speaker 1: have your resources like master classes, your pep talks, you 57 00:03:21,960 --> 00:03:26,560 Speaker 1: have your meditations, you have like your activating, your activations, 58 00:03:26,720 --> 00:03:30,280 Speaker 1: and you also have the community aspect where you can 59 00:03:30,440 --> 00:03:32,760 Speaker 1: chat to people, we can get involved with you know, 60 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:35,480 Speaker 1: you can ask questions all the things, and we have 61 00:03:35,640 --> 00:03:39,720 Speaker 1: new content coming every single month and we're doing themes 62 00:03:39,800 --> 00:03:43,480 Speaker 1: each month, So for example, next month is all about 63 00:03:43,680 --> 00:03:45,840 Speaker 1: manifesting limiting beliefs. 64 00:03:46,120 --> 00:03:47,080 Speaker 2: It's gonna be a good one. 65 00:03:47,520 --> 00:03:51,960 Speaker 1: It's just the best because we're basically getting into the blocks, 66 00:03:52,280 --> 00:03:55,120 Speaker 1: like the thing blocking you from having your dream life. 67 00:03:55,200 --> 00:03:59,520 Speaker 1: So it's huge, huge, but also we're having a little 68 00:03:59,560 --> 00:04:02,680 Speaker 1: bit of fun for Valentine's Day and here at R 69 00:04:02,760 --> 00:04:06,760 Speaker 1: and C we are doing free shipping Australia wide starting tomorrow, 70 00:04:07,240 --> 00:04:10,440 Speaker 1: so if you're listening in real time, it ends on 71 00:04:10,480 --> 00:04:12,160 Speaker 1: the eighteenth, which is Sunday. 72 00:04:12,440 --> 00:04:14,120 Speaker 2: And we're also being a little bit crazy and we're 73 00:04:14,120 --> 00:04:15,600 Speaker 2: giving away free R and. 74 00:04:15,480 --> 00:04:18,800 Speaker 1: C water bottles to all orders over one hundred dollars 75 00:04:18,920 --> 00:04:22,240 Speaker 1: until stocks last, So if you're getting quick, if you 76 00:04:22,240 --> 00:04:25,279 Speaker 1: want one, yeah, actually they are running low. Do you 77 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:28,960 Speaker 1: want of any rn c's physical products, that now is 78 00:04:29,000 --> 00:04:31,840 Speaker 1: the time because you'd have to pay shipping a journal. 79 00:04:32,480 --> 00:04:34,800 Speaker 3: Conversation cards are perfect for a date night if you 80 00:04:34,800 --> 00:04:36,800 Speaker 3: have one this weekend or coming up. 81 00:04:37,080 --> 00:04:39,760 Speaker 1: Me and Tim actually did conversation cards on the weekend on. 82 00:04:39,680 --> 00:04:40,280 Speaker 4: Our day night. 83 00:04:40,720 --> 00:04:41,680 Speaker 2: We do them every time. 84 00:04:41,760 --> 00:04:44,760 Speaker 1: They're the best, and it's sometimes we answer the same question, 85 00:04:44,880 --> 00:04:47,840 Speaker 1: but it changes, it starts like a different conversation. 86 00:04:47,480 --> 00:04:49,680 Speaker 3: And I think every time. I've done them a few 87 00:04:49,760 --> 00:04:52,239 Speaker 3: times with the same people too, but every time, because 88 00:04:52,279 --> 00:04:54,559 Speaker 3: you're in a different state of mind, in a different place, 89 00:04:54,640 --> 00:04:56,360 Speaker 3: at a different time in your life, even if it's 90 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:58,320 Speaker 3: only a couple of weeks later, you're going to have 91 00:04:58,360 --> 00:05:00,160 Speaker 3: a different answer totally. 92 00:05:01,080 --> 00:05:05,080 Speaker 1: Also, n H Naked Harvest is doing twenty percent off 93 00:05:05,120 --> 00:05:06,800 Speaker 1: in their app if you. 94 00:05:06,800 --> 00:05:08,960 Speaker 2: Want to check that out if you're listening to real time. 95 00:05:09,000 --> 00:05:11,880 Speaker 1: Also, I believe it's only twenty four hours, so you've 96 00:05:11,920 --> 00:05:13,920 Speaker 1: got twenty four hours from Valante's day. 97 00:05:14,160 --> 00:05:15,360 Speaker 2: If you want to get in quick. 98 00:05:15,160 --> 00:05:18,279 Speaker 1: Should we quickly do some weekly recommendations to yes, you 99 00:05:18,360 --> 00:05:21,479 Speaker 1: go first. So she is a book queen at the moment, 100 00:05:21,520 --> 00:05:24,440 Speaker 1: and I have started a new series called Shatter Me, 101 00:05:24,760 --> 00:05:25,679 Speaker 1: the Shatter Me Series. 102 00:05:25,720 --> 00:05:26,240 Speaker 2: Have you heard of it? 103 00:05:26,279 --> 00:05:26,520 Speaker 4: Tt? 104 00:05:26,880 --> 00:05:28,840 Speaker 2: I have heard of it. I have not read it yet. 105 00:05:28,920 --> 00:05:32,159 Speaker 1: Look the first book, like it wasn't that exciting, Okay, 106 00:05:32,600 --> 00:05:35,719 Speaker 1: but it's I've been told it's similar to Akata, where 107 00:05:35,720 --> 00:05:37,880 Speaker 1: it's like, get through the first book and then. 108 00:05:37,800 --> 00:05:39,599 Speaker 2: You just like absolutely love it. 109 00:05:40,320 --> 00:05:45,000 Speaker 1: Because on TikTok someone books the person whoever one's talking about, 110 00:05:45,560 --> 00:05:46,560 Speaker 1: who they're in love with. 111 00:05:46,839 --> 00:05:52,920 Speaker 2: I'm not in love with yet something obviously happens. Yeah, 112 00:05:52,960 --> 00:05:54,159 Speaker 2: but he's like. 113 00:05:54,160 --> 00:05:57,839 Speaker 1: The villain, which we love enemies to love it, enemy 114 00:05:57,880 --> 00:05:59,560 Speaker 1: to love us, trope. It just does it for me 115 00:05:59,560 --> 00:06:04,120 Speaker 1: every time. But something's gonna happen too. It just hasn't 116 00:06:04,160 --> 00:06:06,400 Speaker 1: happened in the first book. But I feel like because 117 00:06:06,440 --> 00:06:09,000 Speaker 1: it's it's got like eight books, so it's okay series, 118 00:06:09,240 --> 00:06:10,880 Speaker 1: and I've been told the first one is like really 119 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:17,239 Speaker 1: just setting up the same character building all the things. 120 00:06:15,440 --> 00:06:19,640 Speaker 2: So I know that's not like the greatest. Look I'm 121 00:06:19,680 --> 00:06:20,080 Speaker 2: reading that. 122 00:06:20,279 --> 00:06:24,200 Speaker 1: And then I also started reading the Twisted Love series 123 00:06:24,360 --> 00:06:27,920 Speaker 1: by Anna Hung and it's just like a really good, 124 00:06:28,000 --> 00:06:32,200 Speaker 1: feel good romance oh love. Okay, not fantasy, not fantasy, 125 00:06:32,279 --> 00:06:35,479 Speaker 1: real life, very like he's a billionaire. Okay, you know, 126 00:06:35,640 --> 00:06:40,560 Speaker 1: like one of those and look, I wag perfer my 127 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:43,119 Speaker 1: fantasy books. But it was like a good in between book. 128 00:06:43,520 --> 00:06:46,159 Speaker 1: You do need the palette cleansers, That's what it was. Yeah, 129 00:06:46,520 --> 00:06:48,320 Speaker 1: I've been saying that. I was like, I'm ready to 130 00:06:48,320 --> 00:06:49,679 Speaker 1: get back into the fantasy world. 131 00:06:49,839 --> 00:06:50,479 Speaker 2: Yeah. 132 00:06:50,560 --> 00:06:53,520 Speaker 1: My recommendation is our app. 133 00:06:56,120 --> 00:06:57,520 Speaker 2: I'll give two tell us more. 134 00:06:57,720 --> 00:07:00,480 Speaker 3: I'm recommending the app because I've actually been using it 135 00:07:00,520 --> 00:07:02,560 Speaker 3: a lot more now that it's out. For some reason, 136 00:07:02,560 --> 00:07:04,479 Speaker 3: I feel like I didn't let myself use it till 137 00:07:04,520 --> 00:07:06,600 Speaker 3: it was out for everybody else to use, even though 138 00:07:06,640 --> 00:07:10,000 Speaker 3: I had it on my phone, and I've been really 139 00:07:10,000 --> 00:07:12,080 Speaker 3: making sure I try to meditate at least once a day, 140 00:07:12,080 --> 00:07:14,320 Speaker 3: and I feel like it's made a really big difference 141 00:07:14,800 --> 00:07:18,640 Speaker 3: to my energy and how like I feel a lot calmer. 142 00:07:19,360 --> 00:07:23,200 Speaker 3: I feel a lot more relaxed, and just like anything 143 00:07:23,200 --> 00:07:24,400 Speaker 3: can happen and I'll be fine. 144 00:07:24,520 --> 00:07:25,640 Speaker 2: I just feel very grounded. 145 00:07:26,200 --> 00:07:29,080 Speaker 1: Isn't it wild what meditation can do to your mood? 146 00:07:29,160 --> 00:07:31,200 Speaker 3: It's actually wild. And I used to be someone that 147 00:07:31,240 --> 00:07:32,600 Speaker 3: didn't think I could meditate. 148 00:07:32,920 --> 00:07:33,680 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. 149 00:07:33,920 --> 00:07:38,040 Speaker 1: Well I find meditating to just like silence is hard. Yeah, 150 00:07:38,080 --> 00:07:40,760 Speaker 1: but we do guided meditation. Yes, So it's like you 151 00:07:40,800 --> 00:07:44,440 Speaker 1: hear my voice, there's lots of music. It's a whole experience. 152 00:07:44,920 --> 00:07:47,080 Speaker 1: So it's such like a good way to ease into 153 00:07:47,160 --> 00:07:49,880 Speaker 1: it if you can't just like sit there quietly twenty minutes. 154 00:07:50,440 --> 00:07:54,440 Speaker 3: And then my other recommendation is to have a dance somewhere, 155 00:07:54,680 --> 00:07:56,200 Speaker 3: dance party, at our dance party. 156 00:07:56,400 --> 00:07:59,119 Speaker 2: I've been doing that a lot later. It's the best. 157 00:07:59,200 --> 00:08:01,280 Speaker 3: It's such a good way to, like, I guess, move around, 158 00:08:01,400 --> 00:08:03,400 Speaker 3: move your energy and just get really high vibe. 159 00:08:03,440 --> 00:08:05,800 Speaker 1: So I have a dance party this week. Love that? 160 00:08:06,000 --> 00:08:15,960 Speaker 1: All right, let's get into the episode. I'm so excited 161 00:08:16,000 --> 00:08:18,000 Speaker 1: to be in this new year with you. What are 162 00:08:18,000 --> 00:08:20,559 Speaker 1: you most excited about in twenty twenty four. 163 00:08:20,800 --> 00:08:26,800 Speaker 4: Well, I'm actually excited to test my body to the limits. 164 00:08:27,720 --> 00:08:31,000 Speaker 4: So I've got a new thing. I am getting into boxing. 165 00:08:31,080 --> 00:08:34,600 Speaker 4: I've never thrown a punch in my life, but here 166 00:08:34,640 --> 00:08:36,679 Speaker 4: we are and I'm gonna, Yeah, I'm going to take 167 00:08:36,720 --> 00:08:37,000 Speaker 4: it up. 168 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:41,559 Speaker 1: And that's Is that really the most exciting thing happening 169 00:08:41,600 --> 00:08:42,640 Speaker 1: in twenty twenty Well. 170 00:08:42,559 --> 00:08:44,120 Speaker 4: There's like that's on my mind at the moment. I 171 00:08:44,120 --> 00:08:46,400 Speaker 4: wouldn't the most exciting, but it gets me pumped up 172 00:08:46,400 --> 00:08:48,720 Speaker 4: because I'm just like, I've found this new literally just 173 00:08:48,760 --> 00:08:49,080 Speaker 4: saying it. 174 00:08:49,080 --> 00:08:50,920 Speaker 2: Because you're about to go to boxing. 175 00:08:50,559 --> 00:08:54,120 Speaker 4: After this, I'm like hooked. I'm like I had one session. 176 00:08:54,120 --> 00:08:58,199 Speaker 4: I'm like hook line and seeker, but not only that. 177 00:08:58,240 --> 00:09:02,560 Speaker 4: So that's just me. Now I'm excited for jeez, where 178 00:09:02,559 --> 00:09:06,320 Speaker 4: do I start. I'm excited for to live out our 179 00:09:06,480 --> 00:09:11,199 Speaker 4: values that we did for this year the end of 180 00:09:11,280 --> 00:09:12,559 Speaker 4: last year and stick. 181 00:09:12,320 --> 00:09:15,520 Speaker 2: To those our values as a relationship. 182 00:09:14,960 --> 00:09:16,000 Speaker 4: Our relationship values. 183 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:21,440 Speaker 1: Should we actually tell everyone our five relationship values for 184 00:09:21,480 --> 00:09:22,280 Speaker 1: twenty twenty four? 185 00:09:22,400 --> 00:09:26,120 Speaker 4: I will let you tell everybody you've forgot We have 186 00:09:26,200 --> 00:09:29,240 Speaker 4: this ongoing thing. It's like I always like forget one 187 00:09:29,440 --> 00:09:33,920 Speaker 4: and I'm like, look, George, and I'm like, what is it. 188 00:09:33,600 --> 00:09:34,840 Speaker 2: You've got it, why don't you try? 189 00:09:34,920 --> 00:09:34,959 Speaker 1: No? 190 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,439 Speaker 2: Trust, trust so important? 191 00:09:38,960 --> 00:09:47,920 Speaker 4: Trust, connection, don't look to me? Yes, connection, trust, connection, experiences, Yes, 192 00:09:48,040 --> 00:09:52,040 Speaker 4: three holding space YEP is the other one, and then 193 00:09:52,040 --> 00:09:55,040 Speaker 4: the other one is it's like when you give someone 194 00:09:55,080 --> 00:09:58,520 Speaker 4: the benefit of the doubt. What's it acceptance? Acceptance? 195 00:09:58,920 --> 00:10:04,360 Speaker 1: Yes, except so last year me and Tim sat down 196 00:10:04,640 --> 00:10:10,360 Speaker 1: and we decided to have aligned values for ourselves and 197 00:10:10,520 --> 00:10:14,560 Speaker 1: our relationship of how we would move through the year 198 00:10:14,760 --> 00:10:17,120 Speaker 1: and how we would be intentional with the year. 199 00:10:17,320 --> 00:10:19,480 Speaker 2: So those are our five values. 200 00:10:19,600 --> 00:10:22,960 Speaker 1: So we have first of all like acceptance, and for 201 00:10:23,040 --> 00:10:26,320 Speaker 1: that one, it's just really about when the other person 202 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:29,079 Speaker 1: isn't maybe showing up as their best self or their 203 00:10:29,120 --> 00:10:33,640 Speaker 1: struggling with something, to be over generous with them and 204 00:10:33,720 --> 00:10:37,400 Speaker 1: be like I can hold this and I can accept 205 00:10:37,520 --> 00:10:40,360 Speaker 1: that they're like not a perfect human and they have 206 00:10:40,480 --> 00:10:42,920 Speaker 1: flaws and they have things they need to work through. 207 00:10:43,400 --> 00:10:46,240 Speaker 1: I can still be there for them and support them, 208 00:10:46,480 --> 00:10:48,040 Speaker 1: accepting them where they're at. 209 00:10:48,640 --> 00:10:52,000 Speaker 4: Yes, And it's super hard, like it's easy to say yeah, 210 00:10:52,120 --> 00:10:55,680 Speaker 4: it's like like if you guys are both at each other, 211 00:10:55,760 --> 00:10:57,880 Speaker 4: it's hard for that, Like someone's got to be like, oh, 212 00:10:58,000 --> 00:11:00,560 Speaker 4: they're just in a rough spot or it's like they're 213 00:11:00,600 --> 00:11:05,200 Speaker 4: doing whatever X y Z, I just need to it's 214 00:11:05,320 --> 00:11:09,400 Speaker 4: like hold space for them essentially within that acceptance yea. 215 00:11:10,200 --> 00:11:13,360 Speaker 1: So then the next one is holding space and that 216 00:11:13,480 --> 00:11:16,560 Speaker 1: is just something we really went deep in last year 217 00:11:16,880 --> 00:11:24,160 Speaker 1: and was all about understanding for someone to open up 218 00:11:24,320 --> 00:11:28,560 Speaker 1: and be vulnerable, they need to be seen and heard, 219 00:11:29,080 --> 00:11:34,280 Speaker 1: they need to be taken deeper. And sometimes, like with 220 00:11:34,480 --> 00:11:36,920 Speaker 1: such a busy lifestyle with a two year old, with 221 00:11:37,000 --> 00:11:39,920 Speaker 1: so many things happening, it's so easy to get caught 222 00:11:40,000 --> 00:11:43,320 Speaker 1: up and just not have space for the other person. 223 00:11:43,880 --> 00:11:47,079 Speaker 1: So something we're really trying this year is like holding 224 00:11:47,320 --> 00:11:50,960 Speaker 1: just holding space. And it's it's like when the other 225 00:11:51,000 --> 00:11:53,880 Speaker 1: person is going on a rant or something and it's 226 00:11:53,920 --> 00:11:56,400 Speaker 1: in us to want to give them a solution, but 227 00:11:56,440 --> 00:11:58,920 Speaker 1: it's like they just need us to like sit there 228 00:11:59,040 --> 00:12:01,080 Speaker 1: and listen and hold space for them and then they'll 229 00:12:01,080 --> 00:12:01,800 Speaker 1: feel better. 230 00:12:02,160 --> 00:12:05,200 Speaker 4: Especially as a male, like it's it's almost integrained in 231 00:12:05,320 --> 00:12:08,120 Speaker 4: us to be like, oh, maybe you just need to 232 00:12:08,160 --> 00:12:09,960 Speaker 4: do this, or you're just like, you know, why can't 233 00:12:09,960 --> 00:12:11,200 Speaker 4: you just look at it this way? And you're just 234 00:12:11,240 --> 00:12:13,160 Speaker 4: like if you did this, it would be fixed, you know. 235 00:12:13,320 --> 00:12:17,959 Speaker 4: But it's that's not it actually get like, yeah. 236 00:12:17,800 --> 00:12:19,600 Speaker 2: You're going to make the situation, You're going to be worse. 237 00:12:19,679 --> 00:12:20,040 Speaker 4: Yeah. Yeah. 238 00:12:20,160 --> 00:12:23,000 Speaker 1: A lot of the time when you're triggered or you're reactive, 239 00:12:23,120 --> 00:12:26,439 Speaker 1: you just need someone to like, I see you, I 240 00:12:26,559 --> 00:12:30,600 Speaker 1: hear you, I'm here for you. That's what holding spaces like. 241 00:12:30,720 --> 00:12:34,280 Speaker 4: Not necessarily say that, but just like just being just present, 242 00:12:34,360 --> 00:12:37,680 Speaker 4: just sitting there, just being like and just not budding in, 243 00:12:37,840 --> 00:12:40,800 Speaker 4: letting them say their piece, silent nos, and then just 244 00:12:40,840 --> 00:12:44,240 Speaker 4: being you know, sometimes they just they just might need 245 00:12:44,240 --> 00:12:45,560 Speaker 4: to rant and just you just need to be there 246 00:12:45,559 --> 00:12:47,960 Speaker 4: and be like like that must have been really hard 247 00:12:47,960 --> 00:12:49,600 Speaker 4: for you, and like I'm sorry you feel that way 248 00:12:49,600 --> 00:12:51,440 Speaker 4: because of that it's a situation or whatever. 249 00:12:52,559 --> 00:12:57,200 Speaker 1: And then the next one is connection. So very obvious one. 250 00:12:57,280 --> 00:12:59,640 Speaker 1: This is really about making sure me and Tim are 251 00:12:59,640 --> 00:13:04,319 Speaker 1: making time for our connection together, our connection with ourselves 252 00:13:04,360 --> 00:13:07,760 Speaker 1: and our connection with IVY. So this looks like making 253 00:13:07,760 --> 00:13:11,760 Speaker 1: sure we have date nights, no phones in bed so 254 00:13:11,800 --> 00:13:13,160 Speaker 1: we can connect intimately. 255 00:13:13,440 --> 00:13:15,800 Speaker 4: I've got myself a kindle now, so I'm not I'm 256 00:13:16,200 --> 00:13:17,679 Speaker 4: reading my kindle in bed. I have. 257 00:13:18,080 --> 00:13:21,760 Speaker 1: One of my biggest feedback from Tim is like he's 258 00:13:21,800 --> 00:13:24,960 Speaker 1: such a big scroller. And since I've been into my 259 00:13:25,080 --> 00:13:28,400 Speaker 1: fantasy books, I don't go on my phone at night 260 00:13:28,559 --> 00:13:30,960 Speaker 1: or in the morning. And I said to him, I 261 00:13:30,960 --> 00:13:32,800 Speaker 1: think it would just be really nice if like you 262 00:13:32,920 --> 00:13:35,200 Speaker 1: got a kindle and you went on that, because he 263 00:13:35,240 --> 00:13:37,679 Speaker 1: does wake up earlier than me, so I get it, 264 00:13:37,720 --> 00:13:40,760 Speaker 1: like you're bored, and then he go on his kindle 265 00:13:40,880 --> 00:13:44,360 Speaker 1: and then when I wake up, get off it and 266 00:13:44,360 --> 00:13:45,520 Speaker 1: we have a little chat and we. 267 00:13:45,480 --> 00:13:46,160 Speaker 2: Have some connection. 268 00:13:46,280 --> 00:13:54,080 Speaker 4: High that's it. I'm keen to get into that because 269 00:13:54,080 --> 00:13:56,560 Speaker 4: I've even noticed, like since you've been doing that, like 270 00:13:56,679 --> 00:13:59,199 Speaker 4: not scrolling on your phone in the in the room, 271 00:13:59,400 --> 00:14:03,040 Speaker 4: like just know and like you've almost found like your 272 00:14:03,760 --> 00:14:06,040 Speaker 4: like your hobby. Remember how like for a couple of 273 00:14:06,080 --> 00:14:07,960 Speaker 4: years you've almost you've always. 274 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:11,400 Speaker 2: Almost my hobby is reading fantasy. 275 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:14,480 Speaker 4: Well, it's like George has really struggled with the hobby 276 00:14:14,640 --> 00:14:17,480 Speaker 4: and she's like she's felt a bit like guilty because 277 00:14:17,480 --> 00:14:19,160 Speaker 4: she doesn't like things and she didn't know what to do, 278 00:14:19,240 --> 00:14:20,840 Speaker 4: and she was a bit like up in her own 279 00:14:20,840 --> 00:14:23,080 Speaker 4: head about it. But now I feel like just just 280 00:14:23,280 --> 00:14:25,840 Speaker 4: you reading books and like getting lost on this like 281 00:14:26,200 --> 00:14:28,480 Speaker 4: fantasy journey is like your hobby and it's like your 282 00:14:28,600 --> 00:14:30,960 Speaker 4: escape guys, it's not just books. 283 00:14:31,160 --> 00:14:32,680 Speaker 2: It's fatasy books. 284 00:14:34,120 --> 00:14:37,360 Speaker 4: About it. What's the one, what's the main one? The iron? 285 00:14:37,960 --> 00:14:38,400 Speaker 4: What is it? 286 00:14:38,880 --> 00:14:39,400 Speaker 2: Fourth wing? 287 00:14:39,680 --> 00:14:49,280 Speaker 4: Fourth wing? What's the iron? Fist im? 288 00:14:49,520 --> 00:14:53,800 Speaker 2: And then it's Akatar and currently it's it's funny. 289 00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:56,240 Speaker 4: It's funny because then George would be like, come down 290 00:14:56,280 --> 00:14:57,920 Speaker 4: to be like, oh my god, you never guess what 291 00:14:57,960 --> 00:15:00,840 Speaker 4: happened to my book. I'm tell her all about it 292 00:15:01,040 --> 00:15:06,880 Speaker 4: and ran really and she gets pumped up, like meanwhile, 293 00:15:06,920 --> 00:15:09,280 Speaker 4: I fucking couldn't get less what she's doing in the book, 294 00:15:09,440 --> 00:15:10,640 Speaker 4: but I just like love anth and. 295 00:15:10,680 --> 00:15:15,080 Speaker 2: Her, and I'm like, and I don't get so into it. 296 00:15:15,160 --> 00:15:17,000 Speaker 4: It's so funny it rends me up. 297 00:15:17,720 --> 00:15:19,680 Speaker 2: And then the next one is experiences. 298 00:15:20,760 --> 00:15:23,640 Speaker 1: So this is just really about being intentional of like 299 00:15:23,680 --> 00:15:26,640 Speaker 1: when we have time together or with Ivy or even 300 00:15:26,680 --> 00:15:29,080 Speaker 1: if like we're just at home, but it's like, how 301 00:15:29,120 --> 00:15:32,960 Speaker 1: can we make this an experience? How can we like 302 00:15:33,120 --> 00:15:35,920 Speaker 1: relish in the mundane. And that's just something we really 303 00:15:35,960 --> 00:15:38,240 Speaker 1: want to cultivate. And obviously we're really being on like 304 00:15:38,440 --> 00:15:42,000 Speaker 1: you know, going away and holidays and those sorts of things, 305 00:15:42,040 --> 00:15:44,040 Speaker 1: but you know, yeah, even when we're at home, it's 306 00:15:44,040 --> 00:15:46,920 Speaker 1: like how can we make this an experience? And then 307 00:15:46,960 --> 00:15:48,920 Speaker 1: the last one is trust, which I think is just 308 00:15:49,040 --> 00:15:52,360 Speaker 1: very obvious. And again that's like even really trusting the 309 00:15:52,440 --> 00:15:54,960 Speaker 1: other person, it's like even if they're not showing up 310 00:15:55,000 --> 00:15:58,120 Speaker 1: as their best self, it's like it's okay, I accept 311 00:15:58,120 --> 00:15:59,880 Speaker 1: and I trust you, and it's like I can hold 312 00:15:59,880 --> 00:16:00,680 Speaker 1: you in this moment. 313 00:16:00,800 --> 00:16:03,240 Speaker 2: All right. I'm so glad we brought that up. 314 00:16:03,280 --> 00:16:07,880 Speaker 1: I'm so happy that those are our beautiful values and 315 00:16:07,960 --> 00:16:09,720 Speaker 1: I feel so clear on them, and I feel so 316 00:16:10,000 --> 00:16:12,600 Speaker 1: happy that we sat down and did that together because 317 00:16:12,600 --> 00:16:15,360 Speaker 1: we've actually never sat down and like done our goals 318 00:16:15,440 --> 00:16:17,120 Speaker 1: or values together, and. 319 00:16:17,080 --> 00:16:18,680 Speaker 2: I feel like that made such a difference. 320 00:16:18,720 --> 00:16:21,400 Speaker 1: And then we also did a burning ceremony over New 321 00:16:21,480 --> 00:16:24,120 Speaker 1: Years and that was really beautiful, and that is. 322 00:16:24,160 --> 00:16:28,160 Speaker 4: Like the proof is well for myself, it's like the 323 00:16:28,200 --> 00:16:32,040 Speaker 4: proof has been into putting from doing that burning ceremony. 324 00:16:32,280 --> 00:16:34,560 Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, you felt really moved by it, have you. 325 00:16:34,920 --> 00:16:37,480 Speaker 4: It's like it's affected me and I've not affected me, 326 00:16:37,680 --> 00:16:40,240 Speaker 4: like not only affected me, I've felt the effects from 327 00:16:40,240 --> 00:16:43,040 Speaker 4: it mentally, yeah, which is really good. 328 00:16:43,120 --> 00:16:45,320 Speaker 1: Well, it's so powerful when you have that intentional time 329 00:16:45,360 --> 00:16:47,840 Speaker 1: in each other. And can I just say thank you 330 00:16:47,880 --> 00:16:50,760 Speaker 1: so much for being so open to doing something like 331 00:16:50,800 --> 00:16:53,240 Speaker 1: that and to being like, I think that was even 332 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:57,000 Speaker 1: your idea to be like, let's do this together. It's incredible, 333 00:16:57,320 --> 00:16:59,680 Speaker 1: all right. So we've got a whole bunch of questions 334 00:17:00,120 --> 00:17:02,480 Speaker 1: from We've actually got some questions from the team and 335 00:17:02,520 --> 00:17:04,600 Speaker 1: then just from the ion C community. So should we 336 00:17:04,640 --> 00:17:05,760 Speaker 1: smack straight into it? 337 00:17:06,040 --> 00:17:07,120 Speaker 4: Let's get right into it. 338 00:17:08,240 --> 00:17:10,600 Speaker 2: A lot of them are about you and your personal development. 339 00:17:10,720 --> 00:17:13,879 Speaker 1: People are very interested, but I'm going to read like, 340 00:17:14,000 --> 00:17:15,439 Speaker 1: I'll just like read them as is. 341 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:17,080 Speaker 2: Okay, let's go straight into it. 342 00:17:17,880 --> 00:17:23,840 Speaker 1: How do you highlight or bring up areas that need work. 343 00:17:24,000 --> 00:17:24,800 Speaker 2: Within each other? 344 00:17:25,240 --> 00:17:27,560 Speaker 4: M that's a tricky one. Me. 345 00:17:28,040 --> 00:17:30,360 Speaker 2: I just say it, but. 346 00:17:30,320 --> 00:17:33,880 Speaker 4: It's almost like it's it's not about saying the thing, 347 00:17:34,320 --> 00:17:37,600 Speaker 4: it's about the language around it and how you go 348 00:17:37,720 --> 00:17:42,440 Speaker 4: about it. Because everything, not everything, but all the things 349 00:17:42,440 --> 00:17:45,080 Speaker 4: that you want your partner to work on is essentially 350 00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:48,480 Speaker 4: a trigger for you. So because you're already in that 351 00:17:48,520 --> 00:17:53,520 Speaker 4: triggered state, you're going to be very say, passionate about 352 00:17:53,560 --> 00:17:56,239 Speaker 4: the situation. Yeah, and you might get a bit, you know, 353 00:17:56,280 --> 00:17:58,240 Speaker 4: a bit fiery, and you might come across a bit 354 00:17:58,280 --> 00:17:59,360 Speaker 4: too forward. 355 00:18:00,040 --> 00:18:02,480 Speaker 2: Where is if you're regulated. 356 00:18:02,800 --> 00:18:04,399 Speaker 4: Yeah, if you just like, if you just go in 357 00:18:04,440 --> 00:18:06,800 Speaker 4: a round, its stay. It's just a trigger and so 358 00:18:06,880 --> 00:18:08,560 Speaker 4: good to something we get to work to as a couple, 359 00:18:08,600 --> 00:18:10,359 Speaker 4: and like, how amazing is that, you know, if you 360 00:18:10,400 --> 00:18:13,440 Speaker 4: just come to it in a very neutral presence, come 361 00:18:13,480 --> 00:18:15,800 Speaker 4: to the party, very like supportive of the other person. 362 00:18:16,160 --> 00:18:19,320 Speaker 4: I think it's it's it's some good feedback from your partner. 363 00:18:19,520 --> 00:18:23,800 Speaker 1: Well, often something you do with me is in the moment, 364 00:18:24,320 --> 00:18:28,600 Speaker 1: you won't react or say it or talk about it. 365 00:18:28,600 --> 00:18:31,000 Speaker 1: It will be almost like half an hour to an 366 00:18:31,040 --> 00:18:34,120 Speaker 1: hour later when we're in a different circumstance where we're 367 00:18:34,119 --> 00:18:37,720 Speaker 1: not as reactive or whatnot, and you'll say the words 368 00:18:37,840 --> 00:18:42,000 Speaker 1: can I bring something in? And then you'll be like, hey, 369 00:18:42,200 --> 00:18:45,280 Speaker 1: this morning, when you did this or you acted like this, 370 00:18:45,920 --> 00:18:48,920 Speaker 1: it made me feel this way. I know I'm probably triggered, 371 00:18:48,960 --> 00:18:50,639 Speaker 1: but can we just have a little chat about it 372 00:18:50,640 --> 00:18:51,920 Speaker 1: because it just didn't feel that great? 373 00:18:52,600 --> 00:18:55,560 Speaker 4: And that's giving them, you know, giving your partner the option. 374 00:18:55,880 --> 00:18:58,760 Speaker 4: That's it's two things. It's all it's like them knowing 375 00:18:58,800 --> 00:19:02,840 Speaker 4: that you're interested in and want them to not be better, 376 00:19:02,880 --> 00:19:05,800 Speaker 4: but you're wanting something from them because you're so interested 377 00:19:05,840 --> 00:19:06,160 Speaker 4: in them. 378 00:19:06,520 --> 00:19:08,480 Speaker 1: I think first of all, it's like taking that space, 379 00:19:08,560 --> 00:19:11,320 Speaker 1: not reacting straight away and having a bit of awareness 380 00:19:11,400 --> 00:19:13,800 Speaker 1: of like how much of this is my own shit 381 00:19:13,920 --> 00:19:16,679 Speaker 1: that I may need to take some ownership over, and 382 00:19:16,800 --> 00:19:19,200 Speaker 1: how much of it do I really need to bring in? 383 00:19:19,480 --> 00:19:21,639 Speaker 1: And you will often say that in conversations of like, 384 00:19:22,240 --> 00:19:24,679 Speaker 1: I know this is just something that's triggering me, and 385 00:19:24,760 --> 00:19:26,359 Speaker 1: I know it's probably my own shit, but it's like 386 00:19:26,400 --> 00:19:28,320 Speaker 1: I need to bring it in, and that feels so 387 00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:30,800 Speaker 1: much better to me than you coming in and going 388 00:19:30,880 --> 00:19:33,359 Speaker 1: you did this, you made me feel that way, So 389 00:19:33,520 --> 00:19:34,480 Speaker 1: that's what I was going to say. 390 00:19:35,080 --> 00:19:39,400 Speaker 4: It's essentially giving your partner the invitation to do it, 391 00:19:39,760 --> 00:19:43,439 Speaker 4: whereas like a lot of couples or either or personal 392 00:19:43,560 --> 00:19:45,359 Speaker 4: come in and be like I need to talk to 393 00:19:45,359 --> 00:19:48,520 Speaker 4: you about this. You make me feel xyz rah, like 394 00:19:48,760 --> 00:19:51,800 Speaker 4: very victimy of this. But when you invite them to 395 00:19:51,800 --> 00:19:54,320 Speaker 4: be like, am I able to bring something in? Giving 396 00:19:54,359 --> 00:19:58,400 Speaker 4: them the yes or no answer question because I'm like, nah, 397 00:19:58,480 --> 00:20:06,760 Speaker 4: you can't. But like you know, the time you say. 398 00:20:07,240 --> 00:20:08,760 Speaker 2: I actually just can't even go back. 399 00:20:08,960 --> 00:20:11,320 Speaker 4: But I've already created the conversation that's going to be. 400 00:20:11,560 --> 00:20:13,920 Speaker 2: It's creating a safe place sort of. 401 00:20:13,880 --> 00:20:16,480 Speaker 4: It's a calm way of going about it. It's still 402 00:20:16,520 --> 00:20:18,920 Speaker 4: the same conversation, it's just the language around it. It's 403 00:20:19,080 --> 00:20:19,920 Speaker 4: it's so important. 404 00:20:20,080 --> 00:20:22,320 Speaker 1: And then I think when you're highlighting aspects, because the 405 00:20:22,359 --> 00:20:24,199 Speaker 1: question was like, how do you bring up areas that 406 00:20:24,240 --> 00:20:27,480 Speaker 1: they need to work on, I think it's about being 407 00:20:27,560 --> 00:20:31,639 Speaker 1: conscious about your language. So again, not using language like 408 00:20:32,359 --> 00:20:34,920 Speaker 1: you do this and you make me feel like this, 409 00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:40,879 Speaker 1: it's taking ownership and using language like I've noticed I've 410 00:20:40,920 --> 00:20:45,359 Speaker 1: been feeling like this, like when that happened. I like 411 00:20:45,680 --> 00:20:50,399 Speaker 1: bringing taking the ownership on yourself has so much power 412 00:20:50,440 --> 00:20:53,199 Speaker 1: because the other person isn't first of all, going to 413 00:20:53,240 --> 00:20:56,959 Speaker 1: go into defense and reactivity. They can actually be like, 414 00:20:57,040 --> 00:20:59,920 Speaker 1: oh okay, this is about them, and even though they 415 00:21:00,080 --> 00:21:02,600 Speaker 1: had some part to do with it, it just it 416 00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:03,280 Speaker 1: feels better. 417 00:21:05,200 --> 00:21:08,040 Speaker 4: Yes, definitely. It's almost like you're give him that little 418 00:21:08,040 --> 00:21:10,280 Speaker 4: bit of confidence and almost like a little bit of 419 00:21:10,280 --> 00:21:14,639 Speaker 4: gratitude before bringing up the situation in the conversation and 420 00:21:14,680 --> 00:21:17,879 Speaker 4: being like like, I just want to let you know 421 00:21:17,920 --> 00:21:19,119 Speaker 4: that this is all on me. 422 00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:21,159 Speaker 1: Yeah, taking on a shirt. 423 00:21:21,520 --> 00:21:23,760 Speaker 4: And there's nothing like it's it's I know it's my stuff, 424 00:21:23,840 --> 00:21:25,920 Speaker 4: not your stuff, but I still need Yeah, I still 425 00:21:25,920 --> 00:21:28,000 Speaker 4: want to bring it in and then and then say 426 00:21:28,040 --> 00:21:30,639 Speaker 4: because then they'll be like, oh, okay, like what is 427 00:21:30,640 --> 00:21:32,399 Speaker 4: it that I do? You know that makes you feel 428 00:21:32,480 --> 00:21:32,840 Speaker 4: x y Z. 429 00:21:33,240 --> 00:21:36,080 Speaker 1: And what helps me also is when Tim kind of 430 00:21:36,200 --> 00:21:39,760 Speaker 1: highlights you know, especially because we have our values, maybe 431 00:21:39,800 --> 00:21:44,320 Speaker 1: you're like, you know, for us, it's a priority with connection, 432 00:21:45,080 --> 00:21:46,080 Speaker 1: so blah blah blah. 433 00:21:46,119 --> 00:21:47,240 Speaker 2: So he's he's. 434 00:21:47,040 --> 00:21:51,520 Speaker 1: Bringing in that, he's bringing this in for the you know, 435 00:21:51,560 --> 00:21:54,400 Speaker 1: the high interests of our relationship. He's not just having 436 00:21:54,400 --> 00:21:56,280 Speaker 1: a dig. He's not just having a go at me. 437 00:21:56,800 --> 00:21:59,480 Speaker 1: It's you know, we value connection and I just want 438 00:21:59,520 --> 00:22:02,400 Speaker 1: to let you know I feel like this and this 439 00:22:02,520 --> 00:22:05,080 Speaker 1: made me feel this way. It just brings things into 440 00:22:05,080 --> 00:22:07,320 Speaker 1: a whole new way where you don't feel like you 441 00:22:07,440 --> 00:22:11,200 Speaker 1: have to react or defend yourself. How do you think 442 00:22:11,480 --> 00:22:15,560 Speaker 1: you can navigate getting your partner into self development? 443 00:22:16,520 --> 00:22:26,360 Speaker 2: This is a burning question. We're not laughing at that. 444 00:22:28,480 --> 00:22:31,720 Speaker 1: For us, I think I am very much. 445 00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:32,840 Speaker 2: You've got two options. 446 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:36,840 Speaker 1: I think there's so much power in being the role 447 00:22:36,920 --> 00:22:42,359 Speaker 1: model in your relationship. So you know, if you if 448 00:22:42,520 --> 00:22:46,280 Speaker 1: you role model how you show up, how you listen 449 00:22:46,320 --> 00:22:50,480 Speaker 1: to podcasts or read books or invest in practitioners or 450 00:22:50,480 --> 00:22:53,880 Speaker 1: coaches and that sort of thing, and the partner sees 451 00:22:53,960 --> 00:22:58,639 Speaker 1: you getting better, feeling healthier, feeling yourself again, it's just 452 00:22:58,760 --> 00:23:01,480 Speaker 1: like evidence and it's nevit all that they're gonna ask 453 00:23:01,560 --> 00:23:04,400 Speaker 1: questions or want to know. So I truly believe it's 454 00:23:04,480 --> 00:23:07,159 Speaker 1: like that's first and foremost. It's like the quote I 455 00:23:07,160 --> 00:23:10,320 Speaker 1: always say of like keep your side of the street 456 00:23:10,560 --> 00:23:14,520 Speaker 1: clean and worry about you, especially if you're like in 457 00:23:14,560 --> 00:23:17,240 Speaker 1: your personal development journey at the start or like going 458 00:23:17,240 --> 00:23:19,480 Speaker 1: through something. It's like you don't really have the capacity 459 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:22,720 Speaker 1: to drag someone along and you're it's probably not gonna 460 00:23:22,760 --> 00:23:26,159 Speaker 1: help you. So it's like focus on you. Trust that 461 00:23:26,240 --> 00:23:29,639 Speaker 1: when you're working on yourself, everything else falls into place. 462 00:23:30,240 --> 00:23:33,399 Speaker 1: And in our relationship it's been a mixture of that 463 00:23:33,640 --> 00:23:37,760 Speaker 1: and then also me having a very honest conversation with 464 00:23:37,880 --> 00:23:41,960 Speaker 1: Tim and saying, hey, I'm going to a new level, 465 00:23:42,280 --> 00:23:45,480 Speaker 1: I'm evolving in this way. I can kind of feel 466 00:23:45,520 --> 00:23:50,000 Speaker 1: like you're not, and I would love for you to 467 00:23:50,040 --> 00:23:50,560 Speaker 1: come with me. 468 00:23:51,119 --> 00:23:54,560 Speaker 4: That's like, that's again, that's the invitation is I would love. 469 00:23:54,400 --> 00:23:56,919 Speaker 1: To have deeper conversations with you. I would love to 470 00:23:56,960 --> 00:23:59,719 Speaker 1: feel more connected with you, I would love for you 471 00:23:59,800 --> 00:24:03,320 Speaker 1: to feel good about yourself or you know, whatever it is, 472 00:24:03,800 --> 00:24:07,640 Speaker 1: and just opening that up and inviting them or even 473 00:24:07,680 --> 00:24:13,320 Speaker 1: you know, what's really something fun to do is I 474 00:24:13,359 --> 00:24:17,080 Speaker 1: don't know if this is like manipulative, but like talk 475 00:24:17,119 --> 00:24:19,520 Speaker 1: about stories. So it's like, oh, I was listening to 476 00:24:19,560 --> 00:24:22,719 Speaker 1: the podcast with Georgie and Tim and he was saying 477 00:24:22,840 --> 00:24:26,280 Speaker 1: how he read this really great book blah blah blah 478 00:24:26,320 --> 00:24:28,160 Speaker 1: and it made him feel blah blah blah and blah 479 00:24:28,200 --> 00:24:30,560 Speaker 1: blah blah. And it's like you're not telling him, but 480 00:24:30,560 --> 00:24:33,000 Speaker 1: you're just like saying a story, and it's just like 481 00:24:33,160 --> 00:24:36,800 Speaker 1: allowing his mind to like expand and open and be interested. 482 00:24:38,119 --> 00:24:42,199 Speaker 4: That could be Yeah. Well, and especially if like you 483 00:24:42,280 --> 00:24:47,880 Speaker 4: can't force your partner to do anything otherwise it's gonna 484 00:24:48,160 --> 00:24:48,879 Speaker 4: push them away. 485 00:24:49,560 --> 00:24:50,720 Speaker 1: Yeah, it's like a child. 486 00:24:50,920 --> 00:24:53,000 Speaker 2: Well, it's like a child when you say no, you 487 00:24:53,119 --> 00:24:55,120 Speaker 2: can't do that and they want to do it more. 488 00:24:55,400 --> 00:24:57,160 Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, well, like I really want you to do this, 489 00:24:57,280 --> 00:24:58,960 Speaker 4: like and then if they're just not interested, it's going 490 00:24:59,000 --> 00:25:00,600 Speaker 4: to push them away even more. They're gonna have to 491 00:25:00,640 --> 00:25:03,040 Speaker 4: do that. They're gonna have to be ready in their 492 00:25:03,080 --> 00:25:06,720 Speaker 4: own time, on their own terms, yeah, which is hard 493 00:25:07,480 --> 00:25:08,000 Speaker 4: to swallow. 494 00:25:08,119 --> 00:25:09,960 Speaker 1: You have to almost trust their journey and it's. 495 00:25:09,840 --> 00:25:12,520 Speaker 4: Going to trust the process and exactly what you were saying. 496 00:25:12,520 --> 00:25:16,160 Speaker 4: If you lead by example, do all the things your 497 00:25:16,160 --> 00:25:21,119 Speaker 4: partner can see that you're like improving, like mentally, doing 498 00:25:21,160 --> 00:25:23,679 Speaker 4: all that, doing all the things, they're gonna be like 499 00:25:23,720 --> 00:25:26,720 Speaker 4: oh wow, like and then especially when you bring up 500 00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:28,919 Speaker 4: like you did to me, like, oh, I feel like, 501 00:25:29,400 --> 00:25:30,919 Speaker 4: you know, I would love for you to come on 502 00:25:30,960 --> 00:25:34,840 Speaker 4: this journey because I feel like I'm just like really getting. 503 00:25:34,600 --> 00:25:37,120 Speaker 2: Into it and I want to be more connected with. 504 00:25:37,119 --> 00:25:39,640 Speaker 4: Yea, be more connected with you, to feel more aligned 505 00:25:40,119 --> 00:25:40,840 Speaker 4: I want to feel. 506 00:25:41,440 --> 00:25:44,280 Speaker 1: It is hard, though, because there was definitely periods in 507 00:25:44,359 --> 00:25:47,679 Speaker 1: our relationship where we weren't on the same page and 508 00:25:47,760 --> 00:25:49,680 Speaker 1: I was kind of like, off doing my own thing, 509 00:25:49,920 --> 00:25:52,600 Speaker 1: you're doing your own thing. But we always had like 510 00:25:52,680 --> 00:25:56,520 Speaker 1: those common values and like our relationship together. But there 511 00:25:56,560 --> 00:25:58,680 Speaker 1: was definitely moments in our relationship where it was hard 512 00:25:58,720 --> 00:26:01,520 Speaker 1: for me because we weren't on the same page. But again, 513 00:26:01,840 --> 00:26:05,600 Speaker 1: I trusted that It's like I could move forward and 514 00:26:06,960 --> 00:26:11,480 Speaker 1: you would either like, you know, follow or not that 515 00:26:11,720 --> 00:26:13,119 Speaker 1: if it's not meant to be, it's not meant to 516 00:26:13,160 --> 00:26:15,399 Speaker 1: be but I had to. I just had to trust that, 517 00:26:16,080 --> 00:26:18,480 Speaker 1: and that was hard, Like that's a hard thing to do, 518 00:26:19,119 --> 00:26:22,000 Speaker 1: but what else are you going to do? Because it's 519 00:26:22,040 --> 00:26:24,480 Speaker 1: like I was actually saying this analogy last night, it's 520 00:26:24,520 --> 00:26:27,240 Speaker 1: like self development and your evolution. It's like you're in 521 00:26:27,240 --> 00:26:30,520 Speaker 1: a ladder and you're walking up the ladder and you're 522 00:26:30,600 --> 00:26:33,840 Speaker 1: going to your higher self. And if someone next to 523 00:26:33,880 --> 00:26:35,879 Speaker 1: you is on another ladder and they're like a little 524 00:26:35,880 --> 00:26:40,479 Speaker 1: bit down, you can absolutely reach your hand back and 525 00:26:40,760 --> 00:26:44,040 Speaker 1: offer them help and insight and all the things. But 526 00:26:44,119 --> 00:26:47,119 Speaker 1: you do not step off the ladder. You do not 527 00:26:47,320 --> 00:26:50,239 Speaker 1: step down, because that is not honoring yourself. So you 528 00:26:50,320 --> 00:26:53,359 Speaker 1: have to trust, even if you're not dragging them up 529 00:26:53,400 --> 00:26:56,440 Speaker 1: the ladder, that they'll come up at some point when 530 00:26:56,480 --> 00:26:58,560 Speaker 1: it's right for them and you'll be able to, like, 531 00:26:58,640 --> 00:27:01,000 Speaker 1: you know, get through it. And that's like our relationship. 532 00:27:01,520 --> 00:27:04,280 Speaker 1: You didn't get into self development until literally last year, 533 00:27:04,320 --> 00:27:06,200 Speaker 1: and we've been together for twelve. 534 00:27:05,880 --> 00:27:09,119 Speaker 2: Years, so like such a huge period of you. 535 00:27:09,400 --> 00:27:12,439 Speaker 1: But even though you've always been such an amazing human 536 00:27:12,520 --> 00:27:15,520 Speaker 1: and we've always when I've asked you to meet me 537 00:27:15,560 --> 00:27:17,840 Speaker 1: in a certain way, you've always met me. But it's 538 00:27:17,880 --> 00:27:22,240 Speaker 1: that communication where I've communicated to you my needs and 539 00:27:22,560 --> 00:27:24,439 Speaker 1: what I would like in the relationship and you have 540 00:27:24,520 --> 00:27:25,560 Speaker 1: always been receptive. 541 00:27:26,160 --> 00:27:29,119 Speaker 4: Yeah, from like a man's point of view, doing the 542 00:27:29,640 --> 00:27:32,720 Speaker 4: self development thing, like like it has been such a crazy, 543 00:27:33,560 --> 00:27:37,520 Speaker 4: hectic journey, but I'm so thankful that I just you know, 544 00:27:37,880 --> 00:27:39,840 Speaker 4: I just walked over the edge and was just like, oh, 545 00:27:39,920 --> 00:27:43,080 Speaker 4: let's do it, Like, let's just let's peel back this armor. 546 00:27:43,160 --> 00:27:45,520 Speaker 4: Let's take the layers off and just like get to 547 00:27:45,560 --> 00:27:48,000 Speaker 4: the root cause of like why I'm triggered by the 548 00:27:48,000 --> 00:27:50,919 Speaker 4: little things? Why am I angry for no reason? Why 549 00:27:51,160 --> 00:27:53,679 Speaker 4: is this and why do I feel like, you know, 550 00:27:53,800 --> 00:27:55,679 Speaker 4: like sad all the time? It was like, you know, 551 00:27:55,840 --> 00:27:57,520 Speaker 4: but I've got all these things, but I'm still like 552 00:27:57,600 --> 00:28:01,160 Speaker 4: not happy and getting to the root of that. 553 00:28:02,680 --> 00:28:06,720 Speaker 1: I think also your partner, they may be showing signs 554 00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:10,440 Speaker 1: that they're either trying to escape or numb themselves, whether 555 00:28:10,520 --> 00:28:17,560 Speaker 1: that is drinking, scrolling Netflix, food, drugs. 556 00:28:17,440 --> 00:28:19,919 Speaker 2: And it's even like asking them and just being like. 557 00:28:20,119 --> 00:28:23,960 Speaker 1: Hey, I noticed that you need this to cope with 558 00:28:24,000 --> 00:28:27,479 Speaker 1: your day or to whatever. Could you talk more about 559 00:28:27,840 --> 00:28:30,280 Speaker 1: could you tell me more about that. I would love 560 00:28:30,400 --> 00:28:32,560 Speaker 1: to know more about that because a lot of the time, 561 00:28:32,760 --> 00:28:35,880 Speaker 1: they've probably never been asked, they've probably never been made 562 00:28:35,920 --> 00:28:38,920 Speaker 1: aware that it's like, oh, that's interesting that you know 563 00:28:39,360 --> 00:28:42,760 Speaker 1: I need a beer to cope with my day. I've 564 00:28:42,880 --> 00:28:45,560 Speaker 1: never even thought about it could be my emotions or 565 00:28:46,120 --> 00:28:48,080 Speaker 1: you know. We've had a lot of those discussions where 566 00:28:48,120 --> 00:28:49,960 Speaker 1: I'm like, oh, I would just love to know, like 567 00:28:50,520 --> 00:28:52,640 Speaker 1: why you feel like that or whatever, and You're like, oh, well, 568 00:28:52,680 --> 00:28:55,280 Speaker 1: I've always felt that way. But then we go deeper 569 00:28:55,320 --> 00:28:59,000 Speaker 1: and we unpack things, and it's just like opening up 570 00:28:59,080 --> 00:29:02,320 Speaker 1: that conversation to that in like a very like polite, 571 00:29:02,440 --> 00:29:06,719 Speaker 1: receptive way, holding space, creating space. Next question, how do 572 00:29:06,800 --> 00:29:10,680 Speaker 1: you and Tim show appreciation towards each. 573 00:29:10,440 --> 00:29:14,400 Speaker 4: Other our whole relationship? George has essentially says she doesn't 574 00:29:14,480 --> 00:29:17,080 Speaker 4: like surprises, and then it's only recently I've been like, 575 00:29:17,880 --> 00:29:20,280 Speaker 4: but why don't you like surprises so much? Like everyone 576 00:29:20,360 --> 00:29:22,760 Speaker 4: likes a surprise every now and then because I'm not 577 00:29:22,800 --> 00:29:27,200 Speaker 4: in control, because that's exactly right. So I've challenged her 578 00:29:27,800 --> 00:29:32,160 Speaker 4: by going ahead and like, each month I will book 579 00:29:32,280 --> 00:29:37,520 Speaker 4: in a surprise date night somewhere and she doesn't know anything. 580 00:29:37,600 --> 00:29:40,800 Speaker 4: She just knows what she has to wear, and that's it. 581 00:29:41,000 --> 00:29:42,600 Speaker 2: You've literally done that once. 582 00:29:43,800 --> 00:29:46,320 Speaker 4: I'll do that more than once. When no, there was 583 00:29:46,880 --> 00:29:49,920 Speaker 4: ah the breath work. Oh yeah that was for the 584 00:29:49,920 --> 00:29:50,400 Speaker 4: breath work. 585 00:29:50,520 --> 00:29:51,720 Speaker 2: No, you did do that. That's nice. 586 00:29:52,440 --> 00:29:55,000 Speaker 1: Well, I think so how we shore we appreciate each other. 587 00:29:55,280 --> 00:30:01,080 Speaker 1: I think it's just mutual respect, it's time, it's energy. 588 00:30:01,840 --> 00:30:05,000 Speaker 1: Like I messaged him before and I was like, hey, 589 00:30:05,080 --> 00:30:06,880 Speaker 1: do you want to do a date night, Let's go 590 00:30:06,960 --> 00:30:09,680 Speaker 1: to the bath house and You're like, yeah, I'd love to. 591 00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:12,520 Speaker 1: That's me being like I appreciate you. I want to 592 00:30:12,520 --> 00:30:14,680 Speaker 1: spend time with you, and then you the exact same 593 00:30:14,720 --> 00:30:17,520 Speaker 1: of like when you surprise me, or like how I 594 00:30:17,600 --> 00:30:19,280 Speaker 1: bought you with that kindle the other day and I 595 00:30:19,320 --> 00:30:21,480 Speaker 1: was like, I got you the kindle. That's like me 596 00:30:21,640 --> 00:30:25,080 Speaker 1: showing you you know how I appreciate you, and just 597 00:30:25,120 --> 00:30:28,880 Speaker 1: like doing those little things for each other, Like you 598 00:30:29,200 --> 00:30:32,480 Speaker 1: it's you make me breakfast every morning so I can 599 00:30:32,480 --> 00:30:35,520 Speaker 1: go upstairs and get changed tim while I'm doing that, 600 00:30:35,640 --> 00:30:38,360 Speaker 1: Like he makes breakfast and then get downstairs and he's 601 00:30:38,400 --> 00:30:39,200 Speaker 1: made me breakfast. 602 00:30:39,520 --> 00:30:42,680 Speaker 4: That's exactly right. And we love those things because we've 603 00:30:42,720 --> 00:30:46,239 Speaker 4: had the conversation around like what would what can I 604 00:30:46,280 --> 00:30:50,360 Speaker 4: do to make you feel appreciated. Just have that conversation 605 00:30:50,400 --> 00:30:53,360 Speaker 4: with your partner, because you know, everyone's different, every relationship 606 00:30:53,400 --> 00:30:56,920 Speaker 4: is different, So just having that conversation and then acting 607 00:30:57,000 --> 00:30:58,240 Speaker 4: on what they say. 608 00:30:58,760 --> 00:31:01,960 Speaker 1: I don't think also. So I've been quite good with that, 609 00:31:02,080 --> 00:31:06,000 Speaker 1: with communicating more to you about how I feel. Like 610 00:31:06,080 --> 00:31:08,800 Speaker 1: I said the other day, how I was like, Oh, 611 00:31:08,880 --> 00:31:11,560 Speaker 1: I'd love for you to be a bit more affectionate 612 00:31:12,120 --> 00:31:17,600 Speaker 1: to me, just in like more instances. And last night 613 00:31:17,640 --> 00:31:21,280 Speaker 1: we had some people around and I could tell that 614 00:31:21,320 --> 00:31:23,880 Speaker 1: you were being extra affectionate, like you're just a rob 615 00:31:23,920 --> 00:31:27,600 Speaker 1: of the arm or like touching my back, and I 616 00:31:27,640 --> 00:31:30,080 Speaker 1: thought on my head, oh, I actually said to him 617 00:31:30,080 --> 00:31:31,560 Speaker 1: the other day, I'd love for you to be a 618 00:31:31,560 --> 00:31:34,200 Speaker 1: bit more affectionate. And then you did it, and I 619 00:31:34,240 --> 00:31:36,520 Speaker 1: was like, oh wow, Like I just had to communicate, 620 00:31:36,840 --> 00:31:39,960 Speaker 1: whereas previously, maybe we've been in situations and you haven't 621 00:31:40,000 --> 00:31:41,920 Speaker 1: been very affectionate, and I've just thought of my head, oh, 622 00:31:41,920 --> 00:31:44,440 Speaker 1: he's not very affectionate, but I haven't said it to you, 623 00:31:45,160 --> 00:31:47,400 Speaker 1: and that something that was a big like oh, and 624 00:31:47,480 --> 00:31:50,480 Speaker 1: there's there's just so much in communication and we just 625 00:31:50,520 --> 00:31:54,840 Speaker 1: don't think to be and to communicate those little things 626 00:31:55,800 --> 00:31:57,040 Speaker 1: and I. 627 00:31:57,040 --> 00:32:02,960 Speaker 4: Mean, actually, so if you communicate little things. 628 00:32:01,440 --> 00:32:05,680 Speaker 1: I feel like we've both been communicating like the little 629 00:32:05,680 --> 00:32:07,760 Speaker 1: things recently and saying like, oh I love when you 630 00:32:07,800 --> 00:32:10,280 Speaker 1: do this, or I'd really love if you did that. 631 00:32:11,280 --> 00:32:11,880 Speaker 2: Don't you reckon? 632 00:32:12,720 --> 00:32:19,240 Speaker 4: What are you thinking about? I know exactly what you're 633 00:32:19,280 --> 00:32:22,160 Speaker 4: thinking anything, guys. 634 00:32:27,040 --> 00:32:34,640 Speaker 1: I'm just very clear about what I like, good, very direct, 635 00:32:35,280 --> 00:32:37,480 Speaker 1: and I think that's important is to be direct because 636 00:32:37,520 --> 00:32:40,800 Speaker 1: also your partner can't read your mind like I need 637 00:32:40,880 --> 00:32:43,080 Speaker 1: him to be like, oh I like this or I 638 00:32:43,120 --> 00:32:48,080 Speaker 1: want to do this and amazing. Next question, as Ivy 639 00:32:48,160 --> 00:32:53,360 Speaker 1: grows older, how are you finding the dynamics of everyday 640 00:32:53,480 --> 00:32:56,440 Speaker 1: life as a stay at home parent and a working parent. 641 00:32:57,000 --> 00:33:01,760 Speaker 1: Have roles or responsibilities changed my as Ivy becomes more 642 00:33:01,800 --> 00:33:03,640 Speaker 1: self sufficient and independent. 643 00:33:03,760 --> 00:33:07,240 Speaker 4: It's a good question question. I feel like roles have 644 00:33:07,320 --> 00:33:10,640 Speaker 4: still stayed the same. It's gotten easier in some aspects 645 00:33:10,680 --> 00:33:13,520 Speaker 4: for then gotten harder in other aspects. But I feel 646 00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:14,400 Speaker 4: tell me more. 647 00:33:17,800 --> 00:33:20,000 Speaker 1: Anyone who anyone else who has a two year old 648 00:33:20,080 --> 00:33:21,280 Speaker 1: which really understands. 649 00:33:21,760 --> 00:33:26,400 Speaker 4: Let's just say the negatives, the tantrums now, the little 650 00:33:26,480 --> 00:33:30,080 Speaker 4: tantrums that she has, the little bursts of busy energy 651 00:33:30,400 --> 00:33:33,640 Speaker 4: that she she spirited. Yes, that's what puts out to 652 00:33:33,640 --> 00:33:37,440 Speaker 4: the universe, which is taken well on board by both 653 00:33:37,480 --> 00:33:40,479 Speaker 4: George and I. We love every second of it. But 654 00:33:40,520 --> 00:33:43,720 Speaker 4: then also like it on the upside of compared to 655 00:33:43,880 --> 00:33:48,960 Speaker 4: like the upside of that she can now she's moving, 656 00:33:49,000 --> 00:33:51,440 Speaker 4: she's doing all the things. She's like, she's starting to 657 00:33:52,680 --> 00:33:56,000 Speaker 4: you know, like really shine in her in herself, and 658 00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:58,920 Speaker 4: it's making it easier for us. And like she started 659 00:33:58,960 --> 00:34:01,400 Speaker 4: to talk to so it's that communication is that's getting 660 00:34:01,400 --> 00:34:02,120 Speaker 4: so much easier. 661 00:34:02,320 --> 00:34:02,880 Speaker 2: But like our. 662 00:34:02,840 --> 00:34:05,360 Speaker 1: Roles have pretty much stayed the same. Yeah, like I 663 00:34:05,400 --> 00:34:07,320 Speaker 1: go to work, You stay at home with the ivy. 664 00:34:07,480 --> 00:34:09,240 Speaker 1: She goes to daycare one day a week. 665 00:34:09,840 --> 00:34:11,839 Speaker 4: It's just a bit more fun now in the afternoons. 666 00:34:11,880 --> 00:34:14,920 Speaker 4: Like beforehand, it was like you know, when you get 667 00:34:14,960 --> 00:34:17,359 Speaker 4: like a up until like eighteen months, you don't really 668 00:34:17,400 --> 00:34:19,920 Speaker 4: get too much from your baby. But now she's at 669 00:34:19,920 --> 00:34:21,920 Speaker 4: that really cute point where it's like Georgia come home. 670 00:34:22,040 --> 00:34:25,080 Speaker 4: She'd be like Mummy's home, like you know, like and 671 00:34:25,080 --> 00:34:27,000 Speaker 4: it's just like, oh, it makes it so much more fun, 672 00:34:27,120 --> 00:34:29,279 Speaker 4: like and all the other stuff is like, oh it's good, 673 00:34:29,320 --> 00:34:30,680 Speaker 4: Like it doesn't even matter because it's. 674 00:34:30,640 --> 00:34:34,040 Speaker 1: I feel like I've been very intentional too, honestly, Like 675 00:34:34,080 --> 00:34:36,280 Speaker 1: she's two, and I feel like I've only just grasped 676 00:34:36,400 --> 00:34:38,960 Speaker 1: the whole. When I'm home, I'm at home, and when 677 00:34:38,960 --> 00:34:42,480 Speaker 1: I'm at work, I'm at work. So that's yeah, like 678 00:34:42,560 --> 00:34:45,120 Speaker 1: that took me so long to embody that, but I 679 00:34:45,120 --> 00:34:47,560 Speaker 1: feel like now I really make sure it's like when 680 00:34:47,560 --> 00:34:50,919 Speaker 1: I'm at home, we have that time together and it's 681 00:34:51,480 --> 00:34:55,480 Speaker 1: it's very intentional time. I think that's just like what 682 00:34:55,520 --> 00:34:56,680 Speaker 1: we've tried to. 683 00:34:56,840 --> 00:35:00,759 Speaker 4: Get better at, like a lot of play well. 684 00:35:00,880 --> 00:35:04,920 Speaker 1: And then Tim, we also like we do have you know, 685 00:35:05,000 --> 00:35:07,400 Speaker 1: like my parents' help or Tim's parents help, so we 686 00:35:07,400 --> 00:35:10,239 Speaker 1: can go on a date night every single week, will 687 00:35:10,280 --> 00:35:12,360 Speaker 1: we try to or you know, whether we go and 688 00:35:12,400 --> 00:35:15,239 Speaker 1: do something. And then me and Tim also try and 689 00:35:15,440 --> 00:35:19,880 Speaker 1: do something for ourselves, so you know, whether that's I 690 00:35:19,920 --> 00:35:22,520 Speaker 1: get a massage on a Sunday or you know, Tim, 691 00:35:22,920 --> 00:35:25,439 Speaker 1: I know what you do, go to gold for those 692 00:35:25,480 --> 00:35:26,280 Speaker 1: sorts of things. 693 00:35:26,880 --> 00:35:29,719 Speaker 4: But yeah, yeah, so pretty much the same to you. 694 00:35:29,880 --> 00:35:34,680 Speaker 4: Kids starts calling you by your first name, Yeah, Tim, 695 00:35:34,800 --> 00:35:36,480 Speaker 4: she comes, she go Tim. 696 00:35:36,880 --> 00:35:41,080 Speaker 2: I'm like, come, she goes Timim. 697 00:35:40,200 --> 00:35:44,160 Speaker 4: Come, I'm like, excuse me, sweetie, what did you say Tim. 698 00:35:45,239 --> 00:35:49,880 Speaker 4: I'm like, sweety, it's daddy. I'm Daddy, not Tim. And 699 00:35:49,880 --> 00:35:53,640 Speaker 4: then George be laughing, Yeah, Tim, come over here, and 700 00:35:53,680 --> 00:35:55,440 Speaker 4: then I'll be like the roles of your reverse, Like 701 00:35:55,480 --> 00:35:57,560 Speaker 4: George would be upstairs and she's like Mommy, I'm like, 702 00:35:57,600 --> 00:36:00,719 Speaker 4: it's not mummy, it's George. She go Gorge. 703 00:36:00,800 --> 00:36:07,680 Speaker 2: Well, and I'm like I'm going. But it's just like 704 00:36:08,000 --> 00:36:09,880 Speaker 2: I'm like, don't you ever call me that again? 705 00:36:10,640 --> 00:36:15,480 Speaker 1: My name is not She's so funny. The next question, 706 00:36:16,760 --> 00:36:21,080 Speaker 1: it's just funny. How do you keep your marriage spicy 707 00:36:21,440 --> 00:36:24,920 Speaker 1: and spontaneous. My husband and I have been together for 708 00:36:24,960 --> 00:36:28,000 Speaker 1: ten years and have two kids. Sometimes it feels like 709 00:36:28,080 --> 00:36:29,160 Speaker 1: the spark is dead. 710 00:36:29,440 --> 00:36:31,799 Speaker 4: Well, we haven't got two kids yet. We haven't got 711 00:36:31,800 --> 00:36:33,840 Speaker 4: two kids yet, And I don't know how it feels, 712 00:36:34,200 --> 00:36:35,240 Speaker 4: but it's simple. 713 00:36:36,000 --> 00:36:38,560 Speaker 2: All I can say is get some fantasy box. 714 00:36:42,400 --> 00:36:50,200 Speaker 1: Literally, no, seriously. I think it's like we make time 715 00:36:50,280 --> 00:36:50,759 Speaker 1: for each other. 716 00:36:51,000 --> 00:36:57,080 Speaker 4: Like it's definitely like the thing that like really gets 717 00:36:57,120 --> 00:37:02,279 Speaker 4: me going, but like you know, really makes on really yes, yeah, Now, 718 00:37:02,320 --> 00:37:05,400 Speaker 4: it's that feeling of connection and once you feel like 719 00:37:05,440 --> 00:37:07,440 Speaker 4: you've got that connection with that person, you've got like 720 00:37:07,560 --> 00:37:10,080 Speaker 4: you know you've got that eye contact, you've got that 721 00:37:10,120 --> 00:37:13,600 Speaker 4: intentional time with each other. It's it's one hundred percent 722 00:37:13,680 --> 00:37:17,919 Speaker 4: those those date nights just you and your partner get 723 00:37:17,920 --> 00:37:20,040 Speaker 4: to get back to the roots of it like at 724 00:37:20,040 --> 00:37:22,080 Speaker 4: the you know, so you feel like a couple of 725 00:37:22,080 --> 00:37:24,359 Speaker 4: teenagers again where it's like you go out for those 726 00:37:24,440 --> 00:37:26,839 Speaker 4: date nights and you just you know, you have had fun. 727 00:37:26,960 --> 00:37:28,799 Speaker 1: Like tim go on a date night and we get 728 00:37:28,840 --> 00:37:31,359 Speaker 1: the conversation cards out and we ask each other these 729 00:37:31,400 --> 00:37:34,040 Speaker 1: like beautiful deep questions and but you've got to be 730 00:37:34,080 --> 00:37:36,359 Speaker 1: like you've got to actually be really interested, and you've 731 00:37:36,400 --> 00:37:38,080 Speaker 1: got to take them deeper, and you've got to ask 732 00:37:38,120 --> 00:37:38,800 Speaker 1: about them. 733 00:37:38,920 --> 00:37:39,879 Speaker 2: And like think of it. 734 00:37:40,040 --> 00:37:42,440 Speaker 1: You know, when you first meet someone at the start 735 00:37:42,480 --> 00:37:45,719 Speaker 1: of a relationship and you just want to know everything 736 00:37:45,800 --> 00:37:48,160 Speaker 1: about them because you're so interested and. 737 00:37:48,080 --> 00:37:49,280 Speaker 2: It's so exciting. 738 00:37:50,040 --> 00:37:54,920 Speaker 1: It's like almost bringing that energy back into your relationship. 739 00:37:54,280 --> 00:37:56,320 Speaker 4: Of like but on a conscious level. 740 00:37:56,640 --> 00:38:00,719 Speaker 1: Yeah, y, and like bringing that energy back into it. 741 00:38:00,719 --> 00:38:05,279 Speaker 1: It's like oh, and like as women, we literally do 742 00:38:05,360 --> 00:38:09,480 Speaker 1: get turned on when there is that connection, that eye contact, 743 00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:13,160 Speaker 1: that communication like that is literally like full play for us. 744 00:38:13,640 --> 00:38:16,120 Speaker 2: And it's like you literally just got. 745 00:38:16,000 --> 00:38:19,120 Speaker 4: To talk to us. You're actually don't have to do 746 00:38:19,239 --> 00:38:22,600 Speaker 4: very much. You just be super present eye contact and 747 00:38:22,719 --> 00:38:28,040 Speaker 4: just ask the questions, like be genuinely interested. Like if 748 00:38:28,040 --> 00:38:29,800 Speaker 4: you're with someone for ten years, it's like, yeah, you 749 00:38:29,840 --> 00:38:32,480 Speaker 4: would be genuinely interested, So act genuinely interested. 750 00:38:32,800 --> 00:38:35,560 Speaker 1: And then that's another thing, is like there is certain 751 00:38:35,600 --> 00:38:39,799 Speaker 1: things of not having your phone when like it's so 752 00:38:39,920 --> 00:38:42,280 Speaker 1: easy to get into bed and just scroll on your phone, 753 00:38:42,600 --> 00:38:46,239 Speaker 1: but that like would completely that completely kills like intimacy 754 00:38:46,360 --> 00:38:48,520 Speaker 1: and the vibe. So it's like not getting on your 755 00:38:48,560 --> 00:38:51,960 Speaker 1: phone and asking the person about their day, talking about 756 00:38:52,000 --> 00:38:52,560 Speaker 1: the day. 757 00:38:52,680 --> 00:38:54,960 Speaker 4: And then maybe but maybe sometimes you guys are both 758 00:38:54,960 --> 00:38:58,440 Speaker 4: burned the fuck out and it's like, just but just communicate. 759 00:38:58,480 --> 00:39:00,719 Speaker 4: Hold listen, I'm just I'm tapped out. To me, let's 760 00:39:00,760 --> 00:39:02,799 Speaker 4: just both go on our phones tonight, but tomorrow night, 761 00:39:03,680 --> 00:39:06,879 Speaker 4: let's let's take the oath and be like we're gonna 762 00:39:07,000 --> 00:39:09,120 Speaker 4: like really, you know, because you're not perfect all the time. 763 00:39:08,960 --> 00:39:10,640 Speaker 2: You can well, Tim surprises me. 764 00:39:10,880 --> 00:39:12,400 Speaker 4: That's spontaneity. 765 00:39:12,480 --> 00:39:15,040 Speaker 1: Well I think it's also this is very obvious, but 766 00:39:15,440 --> 00:39:20,200 Speaker 1: intimacy in the way of touch that's not sexual. So 767 00:39:20,280 --> 00:39:23,399 Speaker 1: like a big thing for me is like I said 768 00:39:23,400 --> 00:39:24,960 Speaker 1: to Tim, this is something I said to him the 769 00:39:25,040 --> 00:39:28,279 Speaker 1: other day is I would really appreciate it is like 770 00:39:28,400 --> 00:39:31,040 Speaker 1: the first thing you do. Because Tim has a bit OCD, 771 00:39:31,239 --> 00:39:33,200 Speaker 1: so like when he gets home, he's like, I gotta 772 00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:34,520 Speaker 1: put the fucking job in away and I've got to 773 00:39:34,520 --> 00:39:36,480 Speaker 1: do this and blah blah blah. But I said to him, like, 774 00:39:36,520 --> 00:39:38,400 Speaker 1: when you get home and if I'm home, can the 775 00:39:38,440 --> 00:39:41,400 Speaker 1: first thing you do is like make eye contact with 776 00:39:41,480 --> 00:39:44,160 Speaker 1: me and kiss me. So it's like, I feel like 777 00:39:44,520 --> 00:39:47,200 Speaker 1: he couldn't wait to come home to me, and you've 778 00:39:47,200 --> 00:39:49,759 Speaker 1: been doing that and it's made such a difference in me, 779 00:39:50,480 --> 00:39:53,160 Speaker 1: and he just like wouldn't have understood that or no that. 780 00:39:53,280 --> 00:39:56,160 Speaker 1: So it's like having that conversation and then even little 781 00:39:56,160 --> 00:39:58,880 Speaker 1: things like when you come in the kitchen and you 782 00:39:58,960 --> 00:40:02,160 Speaker 1: rub my back or you know, it's like, really, it's 783 00:40:02,200 --> 00:40:05,120 Speaker 1: those little moments that actually make such a big difference. 784 00:40:05,280 --> 00:40:08,800 Speaker 4: And it's been like, and I was like clinically proven, 785 00:40:08,880 --> 00:40:11,000 Speaker 4: but if you come home to your partner and then 786 00:40:11,040 --> 00:40:12,840 Speaker 4: your first thing you do is twenty minutes. All it 787 00:40:12,840 --> 00:40:15,719 Speaker 4: takes is twenty minutes of your time, intentional time with 788 00:40:15,760 --> 00:40:18,120 Speaker 4: that partner, it's going to make them trust you. It's 789 00:40:18,160 --> 00:40:21,360 Speaker 4: going to increase like they love you. It's just gonna 790 00:40:21,520 --> 00:40:24,719 Speaker 4: like it just it's just a win win for every 791 00:40:24,960 --> 00:40:28,120 Speaker 4: relationship that like, first twenty. 792 00:40:27,880 --> 00:40:30,520 Speaker 1: Minutes is like a long time though it could literally 793 00:40:30,560 --> 00:40:31,440 Speaker 1: be like five minutes. 794 00:40:31,960 --> 00:40:33,560 Speaker 2: I don't think you give me twenty minutes. 795 00:40:34,040 --> 00:40:37,400 Speaker 4: Well good, yeah you don't. Hey, I can give you 796 00:40:37,400 --> 00:40:42,400 Speaker 4: twenty minutes, but we don't need it, if you know 797 00:40:42,440 --> 00:40:42,839 Speaker 4: what I mean. 798 00:40:43,680 --> 00:40:44,319 Speaker 2: Stop. 799 00:40:45,040 --> 00:40:49,560 Speaker 1: But yeah, I think also another thing like going back 800 00:40:49,600 --> 00:40:52,239 Speaker 1: to the spicy situation, because like. 801 00:40:52,320 --> 00:40:55,680 Speaker 2: Let's talk about that is you just got. 802 00:40:55,560 --> 00:41:00,480 Speaker 1: To for example, having that conversation with your partner be like, 803 00:41:00,960 --> 00:41:03,320 Speaker 1: you know, like sexually, do you want to try anything? 804 00:41:04,200 --> 00:41:04,719 Speaker 4: What do you? 805 00:41:04,760 --> 00:41:05,200 Speaker 1: What are you? 806 00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:06,000 Speaker 4: Yeah? 807 00:41:06,200 --> 00:41:07,680 Speaker 2: Should we try something new? 808 00:41:08,400 --> 00:41:09,960 Speaker 4: Like like if you haven't had it? 809 00:41:10,360 --> 00:41:12,239 Speaker 2: Again, it's just communication, but. 810 00:41:12,239 --> 00:41:15,600 Speaker 4: It's also creating that safe space because they might be 811 00:41:15,640 --> 00:41:17,640 Speaker 4: a bit afraid of like they if they've got some 812 00:41:18,280 --> 00:41:20,520 Speaker 4: to what they think, they might be a bit of 813 00:41:20,560 --> 00:41:25,080 Speaker 4: a weird or different sort of want. But it's like 814 00:41:25,600 --> 00:41:28,840 Speaker 4: it's okay, it's just a want. It's not not negative. 815 00:41:29,840 --> 00:41:32,919 Speaker 4: It's it's all good to bring it in, you know. Yeah. 816 00:41:32,920 --> 00:41:37,359 Speaker 1: But yeah, again, it's like it's communication. Well it's yeah, 817 00:41:37,440 --> 00:41:39,759 Speaker 1: it's just like talking about like how can we make 818 00:41:39,800 --> 00:41:46,440 Speaker 1: things exciting and connect together? And it's like that saying 819 00:41:46,440 --> 00:41:50,880 Speaker 1: of like where intention goes, energy flows, So it's like, 820 00:41:50,920 --> 00:41:54,560 Speaker 1: if you make your relationship and connection a priority, things 821 00:41:54,640 --> 00:41:56,439 Speaker 1: going to feel better. Things are going to feel good 822 00:41:56,520 --> 00:42:00,200 Speaker 1: because you're making it a priority. Tim, what was your 823 00:42:00,520 --> 00:42:04,720 Speaker 1: honest opinion of self development and manifesting before you got 824 00:42:04,760 --> 00:42:05,279 Speaker 1: into it? 825 00:42:05,760 --> 00:42:14,120 Speaker 2: Did you think Georgie was Delulu, Well, I like it. 826 00:42:14,600 --> 00:42:18,080 Speaker 4: Yeah, I'd say eighty percent with the manifesting thing because 827 00:42:18,080 --> 00:42:22,080 Speaker 4: I was just like, yeah, I just didn't I knew 828 00:42:22,080 --> 00:42:25,000 Speaker 4: there was something there with the self development, so I didn't, like, 829 00:42:25,040 --> 00:42:26,799 Speaker 4: I knew there was something there for me. That's why 830 00:42:26,840 --> 00:42:28,480 Speaker 4: I feel like I put it off, kept on putting, 831 00:42:28,560 --> 00:42:30,480 Speaker 4: like putting it off, because it's like, I mean, once 832 00:42:30,520 --> 00:42:32,360 Speaker 4: I like unraveled this space, it's just going to be 833 00:42:32,400 --> 00:42:36,040 Speaker 4: like an ongoing thing, you know, like it's so that 834 00:42:36,200 --> 00:42:39,080 Speaker 4: was there for me, So it was almost like too. Yeah, 835 00:42:39,120 --> 00:42:41,120 Speaker 4: it was almost like I'm just not ready to like 836 00:42:41,360 --> 00:42:43,800 Speaker 4: just to tap into, but I know there's stuff there 837 00:42:44,040 --> 00:42:46,120 Speaker 4: and I can't wait for when I am ready to 838 00:42:46,400 --> 00:42:49,640 Speaker 4: uncover it all and just like yeah, be the ultimate me. 839 00:42:49,920 --> 00:42:52,120 Speaker 4: So yeah, not really as much a self development thing. 840 00:42:52,160 --> 00:42:54,960 Speaker 2: But so with the manifesting you thought I was Delulu. 841 00:42:55,120 --> 00:42:59,400 Speaker 1: Yeah, the manifesting thing, I was like, but now you 842 00:42:59,520 --> 00:43:02,880 Speaker 1: obviously believe and manifesting and understanding because. 843 00:43:02,680 --> 00:43:08,160 Speaker 4: I've got like that consciousness of like of what it means. Yeah, 844 00:43:08,800 --> 00:43:09,160 Speaker 4: good to. 845 00:43:09,120 --> 00:43:13,160 Speaker 2: Know the Lulu. 846 00:43:14,719 --> 00:43:20,319 Speaker 1: Last question is does Tim have any book recommendations or 847 00:43:20,360 --> 00:43:23,239 Speaker 1: like anything for Yes. 848 00:43:23,000 --> 00:43:27,000 Speaker 4: I do have two book recommendations. For the males. So 849 00:43:27,040 --> 00:43:29,920 Speaker 4: it's a book by David Dieter. It's called Way of 850 00:43:29,960 --> 00:43:34,160 Speaker 4: the Superior Man and that is the ultimate book two 851 00:43:35,280 --> 00:43:39,319 Speaker 4: Relationships and Men in Relationships. That's number one book. 852 00:43:39,400 --> 00:43:41,839 Speaker 1: And I even read it to understand men a bit 853 00:43:41,880 --> 00:43:43,200 Speaker 1: more and it was very helpful. 854 00:43:43,320 --> 00:43:45,920 Speaker 4: And Georgia has read So there's a man's version and 855 00:43:45,960 --> 00:43:48,200 Speaker 4: there's a woman's version as well. And you've also read 856 00:43:48,239 --> 00:43:54,640 Speaker 4: that book halfway thought, Yeah, anyway, it's fantastic book for relationship. 857 00:43:54,840 --> 00:43:59,560 Speaker 4: Relationship second one second one is by Don Miguel and 858 00:43:59,600 --> 00:44:05,399 Speaker 4: it's The Four Agreements, The Guide to Personal Freedom. That's 859 00:44:05,440 --> 00:44:06,240 Speaker 4: a great book. 860 00:44:06,440 --> 00:44:08,320 Speaker 2: I've also read that and that is a great book. 861 00:44:08,440 --> 00:44:11,960 Speaker 4: Yes, great book. So yeah, those two book recommendations. 862 00:44:12,160 --> 00:44:12,520 Speaker 2: Love that. 863 00:44:13,239 --> 00:44:16,000 Speaker 1: Okay, last last question, how do you guys balance the 864 00:44:16,080 --> 00:44:19,200 Speaker 1: feminine and masculine energy in the relationship. 865 00:44:19,360 --> 00:44:25,600 Speaker 2: I would say, for this, I have had to learn to. 866 00:44:24,640 --> 00:44:30,160 Speaker 1: Surrender, yes, and also then ask Tim what I need 867 00:44:30,160 --> 00:44:34,160 Speaker 1: of him. So in our relationship, I was actually mostly 868 00:44:34,200 --> 00:44:38,040 Speaker 1: in my masculine and that was because I didn't know 869 00:44:38,040 --> 00:44:40,120 Speaker 1: how to ask for help. I didn't know how to 870 00:44:40,239 --> 00:44:44,640 Speaker 1: ask for Tim to meet my needs, and I didn't 871 00:44:44,640 --> 00:44:48,000 Speaker 1: feel safe in myself. So I had to do my 872 00:44:48,080 --> 00:44:51,480 Speaker 1: own internal work to feel safe in myself first, and 873 00:44:51,520 --> 00:44:54,839 Speaker 1: then I got better at surrendering and asked him to 874 00:44:54,960 --> 00:44:57,719 Speaker 1: meet my needs. It's like what I'm saying before of like, hey, 875 00:44:57,960 --> 00:45:01,319 Speaker 1: in this situation, could you be more affectionate it? And 876 00:45:01,360 --> 00:45:05,640 Speaker 1: that would be like me stepping into my receiving fem energy. 877 00:45:06,880 --> 00:45:09,160 Speaker 1: Do you how do you kind of see maul? 878 00:45:09,400 --> 00:45:11,480 Speaker 4: And I would say I'm the same, but I had 879 00:45:11,480 --> 00:45:14,240 Speaker 4: to step into my masculine bit more because I've always 880 00:45:14,239 --> 00:45:18,759 Speaker 4: been like archetypically in my lover archetype, which is very 881 00:45:18,840 --> 00:45:20,799 Speaker 4: much they say like the please are the you know, 882 00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:23,920 Speaker 4: the keep the piece? Yeah yeah, So but doing all 883 00:45:23,960 --> 00:45:26,080 Speaker 4: this work, it's like I'll be like, oh, yeah, I 884 00:45:26,120 --> 00:45:28,719 Speaker 4: have got my own power, you know. Like I'm not 885 00:45:28,760 --> 00:45:30,440 Speaker 4: to say I'm like Oh that's I'm just going to 886 00:45:30,640 --> 00:45:32,400 Speaker 4: start being the masculine mine. It's going to be my 887 00:45:32,440 --> 00:45:34,520 Speaker 4: way or the highway. No, that's not being in your power. 888 00:45:34,680 --> 00:45:38,080 Speaker 4: Being in your power is like it's like the modern 889 00:45:38,120 --> 00:45:41,440 Speaker 4: alpha male. It's being powerful in the way of the 890 00:45:41,480 --> 00:45:45,880 Speaker 4: power of supporting your partner, supporting your woman, like being 891 00:45:45,920 --> 00:45:47,759 Speaker 4: there for her. That's what power is. 892 00:45:48,280 --> 00:45:52,360 Speaker 2: Tim's got to go, guys, love Let's. 893 00:45:52,120 --> 00:45:53,279 Speaker 4: Go twenty twenty. 894 00:45:53,000 --> 00:45:56,000 Speaker 2: Four, which is so good. If you don't commit to that. 895 00:45:56,640 --> 00:45:59,160 Speaker 4: Two broken wrists in like three weeks or something like that. 896 00:46:00,080 --> 00:46:02,640 Speaker 1: On it all right, Thank you so much for having Yeah, 897 00:46:02,640 --> 00:46:04,440 Speaker 1: thanks so much for being here. We'll definitely get you 898 00:46:04,480 --> 00:46:05,960 Speaker 1: back on the potty soon because. 899 00:46:05,760 --> 00:46:07,640 Speaker 4: We love loving you here. I love it. 900 00:46:07,760 --> 00:46:08,080 Speaker 2: Guys. 901 00:46:08,080 --> 00:46:10,439 Speaker 1: If you have any more questions for Tim, put them 902 00:46:10,480 --> 00:46:13,600 Speaker 1: in the ONC Facebook group because we'll definitely do another 903 00:46:13,640 --> 00:46:20,680 Speaker 1: one soon. Thank you so much for listening to another 904 00:46:20,760 --> 00:46:24,400 Speaker 1: episode of the Rise and Conquer podcast. If you enjoyed 905 00:46:24,440 --> 00:46:27,680 Speaker 1: it and want more, come connect with us on Instagram 906 00:46:27,719 --> 00:46:32,759 Speaker 1: at Riseinconquer dot podcast and join our Facebook discussion group, 907 00:46:32,880 --> 00:46:37,040 Speaker 1: a Rise and Concer podcast community. We're an independent podcast 908 00:46:37,160 --> 00:46:39,680 Speaker 1: and we have a small team, so we do appreciate 909 00:46:39,719 --> 00:46:42,400 Speaker 1: your time and support. If you have a spare moment, 910 00:46:42,480 --> 00:46:46,560 Speaker 1: a follow or subscribe on whatever platform you listen to 911 00:46:46,719 --> 00:46:51,000 Speaker 1: would be so amazing, and look, if you're feeling extra kind, 912 00:46:51,160 --> 00:46:54,080 Speaker 1: a review on Apple podcasts would be great.