1 00:00:00,680 --> 00:00:04,920 Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr 2 00:00:04,960 --> 00:00:08,680 Speaker 1: the Order Kerni Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before 3 00:00:08,680 --> 00:00:11,160 Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I 4 00:00:11,160 --> 00:00:14,319 Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land 5 00:00:14,400 --> 00:00:17,680 Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country, 6 00:00:18,120 --> 00:00:22,240 Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming 7 00:00:22,320 --> 00:00:26,960 Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing 8 00:00:27,080 --> 00:00:30,120 Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for 9 00:00:30,240 --> 00:00:32,640 Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow. 10 00:00:33,320 --> 00:00:34,120 Speaker 2: Let's get into it. 11 00:00:34,760 --> 00:00:38,960 Speaker 3: She's on the Money, She's on the Money. 12 00:00:57,760 --> 00:01:00,959 Speaker 2: Hello, and welcome to She's on the Mune, the podcast 13 00:01:00,960 --> 00:01:04,680 Speaker 2: for millennials who want a financial freedom. Welcome back to 14 00:01:04,720 --> 00:01:06,920 Speaker 2: another one of our money diaries where we get to 15 00:01:06,959 --> 00:01:09,319 Speaker 2: talk with one of our beautiful She's on the Money 16 00:01:09,319 --> 00:01:13,040 Speaker 2: community members all about their journey. Before we jump into 17 00:01:13,080 --> 00:01:14,680 Speaker 2: this episode, I just want to give you a little 18 00:01:14,720 --> 00:01:16,800 Speaker 2: bit of a content warning. Today we are going to 19 00:01:16,840 --> 00:01:19,800 Speaker 2: be discussing sexual assault and abuse. So if that is 20 00:01:19,840 --> 00:01:22,080 Speaker 2: a topic that you don't want to dive into today, 21 00:01:22,319 --> 00:01:24,920 Speaker 2: we have a million more episodes that you could dive 22 00:01:24,959 --> 00:01:27,640 Speaker 2: into right now, So feel free to run away, but 23 00:01:27,920 --> 00:01:31,160 Speaker 2: if you're going to stay, let's jump straight into it. 24 00:01:31,560 --> 00:01:34,440 Speaker 2: We got a message this week and it went like this, 25 00:01:35,120 --> 00:01:38,679 Speaker 2: Hi Victoria. Growing up, my dad made lots of bad 26 00:01:38,720 --> 00:01:42,120 Speaker 2: money decisions and got our family into debt. Then my 27 00:01:42,280 --> 00:01:45,080 Speaker 2: brother passed away and my father left my mum when 28 00:01:45,120 --> 00:01:48,080 Speaker 2: I was five years old. All of a sudden, Mom 29 00:01:48,120 --> 00:01:51,080 Speaker 2: had to juggle work, study, and raising my sister and 30 00:01:51,120 --> 00:01:54,160 Speaker 2: I on her own. She'd always encouraged us to connect 31 00:01:54,200 --> 00:01:56,640 Speaker 2: with our feelings, depend on each other, and it is 32 00:01:56,680 --> 00:02:00,200 Speaker 2: a model of stepping up and doing whatever it takes. 33 00:02:00,640 --> 00:02:03,560 Speaker 2: Due to an assault, I was unable to finish year twelve, 34 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:07,080 Speaker 2: and I've recently left an abusive relationship that was also 35 00:02:07,200 --> 00:02:10,920 Speaker 2: financially abusive. Last year, I was scammed out of my 36 00:02:11,000 --> 00:02:14,280 Speaker 2: savings for my first car. But now I'm debt free, 37 00:02:14,480 --> 00:02:17,320 Speaker 2: have paid off my first car. I work full time, 38 00:02:17,520 --> 00:02:20,520 Speaker 2: have a side hustle, and I'm looking to study soon. 39 00:02:20,960 --> 00:02:23,440 Speaker 2: I've learned so much from She's on the Money, and 40 00:02:23,520 --> 00:02:27,440 Speaker 2: I cannot wait to share my story Money Diarist, How 41 00:02:27,560 --> 00:02:29,560 Speaker 2: is it that you've gone through all of this and 42 00:02:29,600 --> 00:02:31,440 Speaker 2: you're only twenty two years old. 43 00:02:31,960 --> 00:02:35,840 Speaker 3: It's definitely been a journey. I guess. 44 00:02:36,080 --> 00:02:38,480 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, I'm so proud of you. I feel 45 00:02:38,480 --> 00:02:41,720 Speaker 2: like there's such a pivot in that story of this 46 00:02:41,919 --> 00:02:44,200 Speaker 2: just you know, reading it, I go far out. This 47 00:02:44,280 --> 00:02:47,720 Speaker 2: woman has been through so much, and then it's just like, oh, 48 00:02:47,800 --> 00:02:49,880 Speaker 2: and I also paid this off and I work full time, 49 00:02:50,040 --> 00:02:51,840 Speaker 2: and guess what, I have a side like, I'm just 50 00:02:51,840 --> 00:02:53,920 Speaker 2: so proud of you already and I haven't even heard 51 00:02:53,919 --> 00:02:54,720 Speaker 2: the whole story. 52 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:59,400 Speaker 3: Ah, thank you. Last year was definitely a turning point 53 00:02:59,400 --> 00:03:02,400 Speaker 3: where I saw put the armor on and I was like, no, 54 00:03:02,560 --> 00:03:06,480 Speaker 3: We're gonna try and go in a different direction this year. 55 00:03:06,639 --> 00:03:09,880 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, No, I love this for you. Congratulations. 56 00:03:09,919 --> 00:03:12,560 Speaker 2: All right, Well, let's dive straight in. The First question 57 00:03:12,639 --> 00:03:14,680 Speaker 2: I want to ask is what grade would you give 58 00:03:14,720 --> 00:03:16,720 Speaker 2: your money habits? If I asked you to give yourself 59 00:03:16,760 --> 00:03:18,080 Speaker 2: a grade from A through. 60 00:03:17,919 --> 00:03:21,880 Speaker 3: To S, Probably like a C plus. 61 00:03:22,480 --> 00:03:25,480 Speaker 2: I think a C plus. Yeah, all right, let's start there. 62 00:03:25,680 --> 00:03:29,000 Speaker 2: But my favorite question of the entire episode, I want 63 00:03:29,000 --> 00:03:30,880 Speaker 2: to know, can you tell me a little bit more 64 00:03:30,960 --> 00:03:32,160 Speaker 2: about your money story? 65 00:03:32,440 --> 00:03:35,800 Speaker 3: So it was off to a rocky start as a 66 00:03:35,920 --> 00:03:40,520 Speaker 3: kid with dad leaving mum. I was brought up in 67 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:46,760 Speaker 3: these two opposite worlds where with Dad money was always 68 00:03:46,880 --> 00:03:51,760 Speaker 3: tight and there was always this anxiety around money. But 69 00:03:52,040 --> 00:03:55,600 Speaker 3: on the other hand, he would leave this really luxurious 70 00:03:55,640 --> 00:03:58,880 Speaker 3: life and go to the market and spend hundreds of 71 00:03:58,920 --> 00:04:03,720 Speaker 3: dollars on food, by expensive clothes. So it just didn't 72 00:04:03,760 --> 00:04:06,400 Speaker 3: make sense to me, even as a six or seven 73 00:04:06,480 --> 00:04:10,960 Speaker 3: year old, if money's so tight, why are you spending 74 00:04:11,880 --> 00:04:14,960 Speaker 3: Why are you living like this? And it also made 75 00:04:14,960 --> 00:04:19,400 Speaker 3: me feel really guilty about what I cost as a child. 76 00:04:20,680 --> 00:04:24,479 Speaker 3: My education must cost a lot, and my school uniforms 77 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:28,320 Speaker 3: must just be putting Dad under so much pressure. Even 78 00:04:28,480 --> 00:04:31,000 Speaker 3: as an eight year old, I was thinking that. But 79 00:04:31,080 --> 00:04:35,000 Speaker 3: then with mum, obviously Dad took a majority of the 80 00:04:35,240 --> 00:04:39,960 Speaker 3: family money and the business and everything, so Mum had 81 00:04:40,000 --> 00:04:44,520 Speaker 3: to figure out how to work after ten years being 82 00:04:44,560 --> 00:04:48,240 Speaker 3: a stay at home mum, how to manage a family home. 83 00:04:48,560 --> 00:04:52,919 Speaker 3: And even though I thought things were tired at mums, 84 00:04:53,040 --> 00:04:56,279 Speaker 3: she never made us feel guilty for that. 85 00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:59,080 Speaker 2: I feel like that's a really challenging place for an 86 00:04:59,080 --> 00:05:00,920 Speaker 2: eight year old to be, Like, an eight year old 87 00:05:00,960 --> 00:05:04,760 Speaker 2: shouldn't be worried about money in that way. Like I 88 00:05:04,800 --> 00:05:07,839 Speaker 2: think there's educating your kids on money, but then there's 89 00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:10,839 Speaker 2: also that guilt associated and that shouldn't have been the 90 00:05:10,920 --> 00:05:13,280 Speaker 2: case for you. Like that breaks my heart that you 91 00:05:13,360 --> 00:05:15,440 Speaker 2: know you're going to school and you're like, oh my gosh, 92 00:05:15,600 --> 00:05:19,560 Speaker 2: is my uniform putting my dad under pressure? Like that 93 00:05:19,560 --> 00:05:21,960 Speaker 2: that's just a burden that an eight year old shouldn't 94 00:05:22,000 --> 00:05:25,279 Speaker 2: have to carry. Do you feel like that has extended 95 00:05:25,440 --> 00:05:28,239 Speaker 2: into your adult life? Like, do you feel like those 96 00:05:28,320 --> 00:05:32,040 Speaker 2: things maybe why you want to be so fiercely independent? 97 00:05:32,520 --> 00:05:38,440 Speaker 3: Absolutely. I just think now thinking back, it's crazy that 98 00:05:38,480 --> 00:05:42,400 Speaker 3: an eight year old would be so hyper aware of 99 00:05:42,680 --> 00:05:47,880 Speaker 3: how much things cost and feeling guilty about just the 100 00:05:48,000 --> 00:05:53,400 Speaker 3: general cost of me being alive. And I think also 101 00:05:53,520 --> 00:05:57,119 Speaker 3: being in a really anxious state around money with dad 102 00:05:57,200 --> 00:06:02,440 Speaker 3: has caused me to be quite anxious and panicked with finances. 103 00:06:02,800 --> 00:06:05,680 Speaker 2: Yeah. Absolutely, all right. I want to ask, and I 104 00:06:05,720 --> 00:06:08,120 Speaker 2: hope that I'm not overstepping here, but in your letter 105 00:06:08,200 --> 00:06:10,640 Speaker 2: you said my brother passed away. Can you tell me 106 00:06:10,760 --> 00:06:12,520 Speaker 2: a little bit about your brother? Yeah? 107 00:06:12,560 --> 00:06:16,640 Speaker 3: So he was born the first of us three children 108 00:06:17,440 --> 00:06:22,680 Speaker 3: back in nineteen ninety two, and he was born severely 109 00:06:22,720 --> 00:06:26,880 Speaker 3: disabled and had epilepsy. So I can't even imagine what 110 00:06:27,279 --> 00:06:30,520 Speaker 3: that would have been like for mom and dad. My brother, 111 00:06:30,600 --> 00:06:34,000 Speaker 3: being the first child born, but also in the nineties 112 00:06:34,040 --> 00:06:38,080 Speaker 3: where no one really knew what was wrong with him 113 00:06:38,400 --> 00:06:42,800 Speaker 3: and there wasn't like the disability support pension. Mum just 114 00:06:42,880 --> 00:06:45,200 Speaker 3: had to go through so much red tape to get 115 00:06:45,640 --> 00:06:48,480 Speaker 3: a ramp to the front door so she could get 116 00:06:48,760 --> 00:06:52,240 Speaker 3: her son in. And then he passed away when he 117 00:06:52,440 --> 00:06:56,880 Speaker 3: was four, so still before I was born, and just yeah, 118 00:06:56,920 --> 00:07:00,240 Speaker 3: I just can't imagine what my parents went through with that. 119 00:07:00,640 --> 00:07:05,040 Speaker 3: But even though he passed away before I was in 120 00:07:05,080 --> 00:07:10,600 Speaker 3: the family, Mom still was adamant that you know, he's 121 00:07:10,640 --> 00:07:13,239 Speaker 3: your brother, he's a part of this family. It doesn't 122 00:07:13,280 --> 00:07:17,360 Speaker 3: matter that you never met him, You're still really close 123 00:07:17,400 --> 00:07:19,680 Speaker 3: and you're a part of this family too. 124 00:07:19,920 --> 00:07:21,920 Speaker 2: Oh my gosh, that makes my heart so full to 125 00:07:22,000 --> 00:07:25,080 Speaker 2: know that he wasn't forgotten. I don't know, I just 126 00:07:25,120 --> 00:07:28,280 Speaker 2: feel like sometimes that that can be a trauma that 127 00:07:28,320 --> 00:07:30,640 Speaker 2: people go through that they'd prefer not to talk about. 128 00:07:31,120 --> 00:07:33,320 Speaker 2: But bringing him back into the family, I mean, he 129 00:07:33,360 --> 00:07:36,960 Speaker 2: would have been thirty. Now, that's wild to think about that. 130 00:07:37,440 --> 00:07:40,559 Speaker 2: You know, for thirty years, you guys have known your brother, 131 00:07:40,720 --> 00:07:44,120 Speaker 2: and I just I think that's so wildly special to 132 00:07:44,200 --> 00:07:46,840 Speaker 2: be able to still honor that do you still celebrate 133 00:07:46,920 --> 00:07:49,400 Speaker 2: him day to day? Like do you celebrate his birthday? 134 00:07:49,520 --> 00:07:50,920 Speaker 2: Or like what do you guys get up to? 135 00:07:51,200 --> 00:07:56,280 Speaker 3: Absolutely so, we He would have turned thirty last December, 136 00:07:56,480 --> 00:08:01,000 Speaker 3: and obviously we were Mum especially was really upset and 137 00:08:01,080 --> 00:08:04,720 Speaker 3: it was a difficult time, but we gathered as a 138 00:08:04,720 --> 00:08:09,720 Speaker 3: family and we shared the burden and not even being 139 00:08:09,800 --> 00:08:14,800 Speaker 3: upset that he passed away, obviously, but celebrating his memory 140 00:08:15,000 --> 00:08:18,320 Speaker 3: still living on. And when I have kids, they're going 141 00:08:18,400 --> 00:08:23,080 Speaker 3: to know that they have an uncle and he's still 142 00:08:23,120 --> 00:08:25,160 Speaker 3: a part of the family and they still have that 143 00:08:25,320 --> 00:08:26,280 Speaker 3: connection to him. 144 00:08:26,640 --> 00:08:29,240 Speaker 2: That makes my heart so happy. I'm so glad to 145 00:08:29,280 --> 00:08:31,240 Speaker 2: hear that. And I think that it's one of those 146 00:08:31,280 --> 00:08:34,880 Speaker 2: things where often people will say things in passing, or 147 00:08:34,920 --> 00:08:37,000 Speaker 2: maybe not often, and I hope it's not often that 148 00:08:37,080 --> 00:08:40,720 Speaker 2: people talk about siblings or family members that have passed away. 149 00:08:40,760 --> 00:08:42,800 Speaker 2: But I just think it's so important that we ask 150 00:08:43,320 --> 00:08:45,400 Speaker 2: and instead of just glossing over it, Oh, wow, your 151 00:08:45,400 --> 00:08:47,920 Speaker 2: brother passed away. I guess that's a trauma we shouldn't uncover. 152 00:08:48,040 --> 00:08:50,000 Speaker 2: But just like, who were they, how old were they? 153 00:08:50,000 --> 00:08:52,679 Speaker 2: What was their name? Like do we still celebrate them? 154 00:08:52,720 --> 00:08:55,040 Speaker 2: What does that look? I think it's just so important 155 00:08:55,440 --> 00:08:59,559 Speaker 2: to also help their memory still live on, Like your 156 00:08:59,600 --> 00:09:01,319 Speaker 2: face life's up when you talk about him and you've 157 00:09:01,320 --> 00:09:03,600 Speaker 2: never even met him. Like that makes me just so 158 00:09:03,800 --> 00:09:07,000 Speaker 2: happy to know that that's part of your journey. But 159 00:09:07,520 --> 00:09:10,040 Speaker 2: I guess to bring it back to what we're talking about, 160 00:09:10,600 --> 00:09:13,440 Speaker 2: do you think that that then played into maybe some 161 00:09:13,520 --> 00:09:15,920 Speaker 2: of the bad money decisions that your dad might have 162 00:09:16,040 --> 00:09:16,560 Speaker 2: been making. 163 00:09:16,840 --> 00:09:19,480 Speaker 3: It's hard because he wasn't the best parent, but I 164 00:09:19,600 --> 00:09:20,880 Speaker 3: still feel. 165 00:09:21,000 --> 00:09:21,960 Speaker 2: He's still your dad. 166 00:09:22,240 --> 00:09:26,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, Like I still love him, and I can understand 167 00:09:27,600 --> 00:09:32,239 Speaker 3: why he did certain things or the behaviors he continues 168 00:09:32,280 --> 00:09:32,640 Speaker 3: to do. 169 00:09:33,160 --> 00:09:33,240 Speaker 1: So. 170 00:09:35,120 --> 00:09:38,280 Speaker 3: I think having that firstborn son and not being able 171 00:09:38,320 --> 00:09:40,760 Speaker 3: to like go out and kick the footy or like 172 00:09:40,880 --> 00:09:45,160 Speaker 3: do typical dad and son things, it really got to him. 173 00:09:45,400 --> 00:09:48,000 Speaker 2: I feel like that would get to anybody. So then 174 00:09:48,520 --> 00:09:51,840 Speaker 2: growing up, obviously your mum juggled work and study and 175 00:09:51,920 --> 00:09:54,199 Speaker 2: raising your sister. Tell me a bit about your mum. 176 00:09:54,240 --> 00:09:56,559 Speaker 2: I want to know how she managed that. I feel 177 00:09:56,559 --> 00:09:59,319 Speaker 2: like single parents do not get the credit that they deserve. 178 00:10:00,160 --> 00:10:03,360 Speaker 2: How did that, then, I guess impact you now as 179 00:10:03,360 --> 00:10:03,960 Speaker 2: an adult. 180 00:10:04,760 --> 00:10:09,400 Speaker 3: My mum is a boss. She's like my biggest fan, 181 00:10:09,640 --> 00:10:12,480 Speaker 3: my biggest support, and I look back on what she 182 00:10:12,600 --> 00:10:17,840 Speaker 3: did and I'm just in awe. She had no financial 183 00:10:17,960 --> 00:10:22,920 Speaker 3: education and hadn't worked for so many years, and all 184 00:10:22,920 --> 00:10:25,560 Speaker 3: of a sudden, she's got two kids that are fully 185 00:10:25,600 --> 00:10:29,520 Speaker 3: dependent on her, and she's lost a child as well, 186 00:10:30,000 --> 00:10:35,360 Speaker 3: lost a family, and she's gone out there, went to 187 00:10:35,440 --> 00:10:40,679 Speaker 3: tape and got a degree, she started working, and all 188 00:10:40,679 --> 00:10:45,760 Speaker 3: the while supporting us through study and like with you know, 189 00:10:45,840 --> 00:10:49,439 Speaker 3: having two girls going through puberty is such a difficult 190 00:10:49,840 --> 00:10:54,520 Speaker 3: situation by itself, let alone having all those extra vulnerabilities 191 00:10:54,559 --> 00:10:58,880 Speaker 3: behind her. But she just she always encouraged us to 192 00:10:59,520 --> 00:11:04,439 Speaker 3: feel our emotions and connect with each other. Nothing's too 193 00:11:04,480 --> 00:11:08,800 Speaker 3: big that we can't solve. And so I think I've 194 00:11:08,840 --> 00:11:12,520 Speaker 3: taken that from her. When things are really really shit 195 00:11:12,640 --> 00:11:15,960 Speaker 3: and really low, let's feel it. 196 00:11:16,720 --> 00:11:17,760 Speaker 2: Let's just sit. 197 00:11:17,559 --> 00:11:19,360 Speaker 3: With it, and then what are we going to do 198 00:11:19,440 --> 00:11:21,839 Speaker 3: about it? How can we solve this? 199 00:11:22,440 --> 00:11:24,800 Speaker 2: I love that. I feel like that's really good advice. 200 00:11:25,000 --> 00:11:27,440 Speaker 2: I want to know more about you, though, so talk 201 00:11:27,480 --> 00:11:29,520 Speaker 2: to me. What do you do for work? How much 202 00:11:29,600 --> 00:11:30,440 Speaker 2: money do you earn? 203 00:11:30,760 --> 00:11:34,800 Speaker 3: So I work in the justice system, in the domestic 204 00:11:34,880 --> 00:11:41,440 Speaker 3: violence unit, and I earn well one thousand, seven hundred 205 00:11:41,440 --> 00:11:44,920 Speaker 3: and fifty eight dollars comes into my bank account every fortnight. 206 00:11:45,800 --> 00:11:48,360 Speaker 3: And then I also have a side hustle that brings 207 00:11:48,400 --> 00:11:50,920 Speaker 3: in three hundred and eighty dollars a month. 208 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:54,000 Speaker 2: Ooh, what's your side hustle? How do you get into that? 209 00:11:55,000 --> 00:11:59,160 Speaker 3: So I just clean like people's houses around my neighborhood 210 00:11:59,640 --> 00:12:00,960 Speaker 3: a cuple times a fortnight. 211 00:12:01,640 --> 00:12:03,600 Speaker 2: I love that. I feel like that's such a good 212 00:12:03,679 --> 00:12:06,959 Speaker 2: side hustle. And is it a bit flexible given your 213 00:12:07,000 --> 00:12:09,120 Speaker 2: working and you know, busy doing life. 214 00:12:09,360 --> 00:12:13,480 Speaker 3: Yeah, it's so flexible, Like I come work weekends or 215 00:12:14,120 --> 00:12:17,760 Speaker 3: before work in the morning sometimes so and I really 216 00:12:17,920 --> 00:12:21,160 Speaker 3: like cleaning. It's so satisfying, so why not get paid 217 00:12:21,200 --> 00:12:21,480 Speaker 3: for it? 218 00:12:22,280 --> 00:12:24,280 Speaker 2: I do have a question, though, do you like cleaning 219 00:12:24,320 --> 00:12:27,240 Speaker 2: other people's places or just cleaning in general? Because I 220 00:12:27,240 --> 00:12:30,000 Speaker 2: feel like I remember going to friends places and being 221 00:12:30,040 --> 00:12:32,160 Speaker 2: happy to help them clean their room, but like there's 222 00:12:32,240 --> 00:12:34,320 Speaker 2: no chance I would do that at home. I like 223 00:12:34,400 --> 00:12:35,280 Speaker 2: cleaning my house. 224 00:12:35,320 --> 00:12:38,560 Speaker 3: It's the folding that I cannot stand in mind, Like 225 00:12:38,679 --> 00:12:41,160 Speaker 3: my laundry will just stay on my bed for like 226 00:12:41,280 --> 00:12:41,920 Speaker 3: three weeks. 227 00:12:42,720 --> 00:12:45,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, same same. I am clean, but I'm not tidy, 228 00:12:45,960 --> 00:12:48,000 Speaker 2: and I think there's a very big difference between those 229 00:12:48,000 --> 00:12:50,160 Speaker 2: two things that I'm happy to embrace it. But a 230 00:12:50,240 --> 00:12:52,800 Speaker 2: very clean person just not a tidy person. So are 231 00:12:52,840 --> 00:12:56,920 Speaker 2: my clothes everywhere? Yes? But is my shower sparkling at 232 00:12:56,920 --> 00:13:00,640 Speaker 2: all times? Absolutely? It is because I have an obsession 233 00:13:00,679 --> 00:13:05,120 Speaker 2: with domestos. But we can talk about that at another stage. Money, darist, 234 00:13:05,160 --> 00:13:07,240 Speaker 2: I want to know a bit more about this career 235 00:13:07,280 --> 00:13:10,079 Speaker 2: of yours because you said earlier that due to an assault, 236 00:13:10,080 --> 00:13:12,240 Speaker 2: you were unable to finish year twelve. But it sounds 237 00:13:12,280 --> 00:13:14,680 Speaker 2: like you've got a pretty cool job. So can you 238 00:13:14,720 --> 00:13:17,120 Speaker 2: tell me a little bit more. I guess about not 239 00:13:17,240 --> 00:13:20,440 Speaker 2: finishing year twelve and then finding yourself in the role 240 00:13:20,480 --> 00:13:22,800 Speaker 2: that you're in, because that sounds like a pretty special job. 241 00:13:23,160 --> 00:13:26,200 Speaker 3: Yeah. So it's a lot of things have happened since 242 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:30,679 Speaker 3: I left year twelve. I was quite studious, and I 243 00:13:30,760 --> 00:13:34,080 Speaker 3: loved learning, and I had big plans to go to 244 00:13:34,200 --> 00:13:38,600 Speaker 3: university and save the world. But towards the start of 245 00:13:38,679 --> 00:13:44,400 Speaker 3: year twelve, I had my drink spiked and I was 246 00:13:44,880 --> 00:13:49,440 Speaker 3: sexually assaulted. And I knew that if I tried to 247 00:13:49,720 --> 00:13:55,080 Speaker 3: stay at school and put up the mask, that I 248 00:13:55,200 --> 00:13:59,200 Speaker 3: wasn't going to make it in school or in life 249 00:13:59,200 --> 00:14:02,800 Speaker 3: in general. I had to make a really difficult decision 250 00:14:03,559 --> 00:14:05,839 Speaker 3: with my mum and my sister helping me, but I 251 00:14:06,720 --> 00:14:11,800 Speaker 3: had to choose to leave you twelve to basically take 252 00:14:11,840 --> 00:14:16,640 Speaker 3: care of myself and get through this horrendous experience that 253 00:14:16,800 --> 00:14:21,080 Speaker 3: just it just turned my whole view of the world 254 00:14:21,160 --> 00:14:24,320 Speaker 3: and trust in the world and in people. It just 255 00:14:24,360 --> 00:14:28,040 Speaker 3: turned it on its head, and I really needed to 256 00:14:28,360 --> 00:14:34,040 Speaker 3: process that before I could study and work towards that career. 257 00:14:34,800 --> 00:14:38,880 Speaker 2: How are you so strong? Because the way you've just 258 00:14:39,080 --> 00:14:43,000 Speaker 2: articulated that has made me want to burst into tears 259 00:14:43,040 --> 00:14:45,920 Speaker 2: and hug you at the same time as knowing that 260 00:14:45,960 --> 00:14:50,440 Speaker 2: you are fiercely independent and really articulate, and you work 261 00:14:50,480 --> 00:14:54,720 Speaker 2: in this area where you're dealing with, you know, family violence, 262 00:14:54,920 --> 00:14:58,360 Speaker 2: having gone through a traumatic event yourself, Like, how have 263 00:14:58,480 --> 00:15:01,800 Speaker 2: you come out the other side? Because I think sometimes 264 00:15:01,840 --> 00:15:04,880 Speaker 2: people go through these things and they just really can't 265 00:15:04,920 --> 00:15:06,800 Speaker 2: see the light at the end of the tunnel. How 266 00:15:06,800 --> 00:15:07,320 Speaker 2: are you doing? 267 00:15:08,240 --> 00:15:11,960 Speaker 3: I guess it's coming up to the four year anniversary. 268 00:15:12,000 --> 00:15:15,440 Speaker 3: I guess you'd call it that. It's been a few years, 269 00:15:15,480 --> 00:15:21,600 Speaker 3: but I've definitely been stuck in the deepest of pits, 270 00:15:21,640 --> 00:15:25,520 Speaker 3: and sometimes all you need to do is sit with 271 00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:28,680 Speaker 3: it with people you love, and just give it the 272 00:15:28,720 --> 00:15:31,840 Speaker 3: time and the space that it deserves. I've seen a 273 00:15:31,880 --> 00:15:35,440 Speaker 3: therapist every week for about three years, so I'm the 274 00:15:35,480 --> 00:15:38,920 Speaker 3: biggest advocate for mental health help and support. 275 00:15:40,560 --> 00:15:42,920 Speaker 2: And I guess my mom, your mom sounds like a 276 00:15:42,960 --> 00:15:43,840 Speaker 2: bloody legend. 277 00:15:44,240 --> 00:15:49,200 Speaker 3: She is Like every time I'd cry or have a 278 00:15:49,280 --> 00:15:51,880 Speaker 3: nightmare or have a flashback, she was there and she 279 00:15:52,040 --> 00:15:59,040 Speaker 3: never squished my feelings or invalidated me. And she always 280 00:15:59,680 --> 00:16:03,400 Speaker 3: trust that I knew what I needed. Like I didn't 281 00:16:03,440 --> 00:16:05,480 Speaker 3: go to the police and I didn't want to and 282 00:16:05,560 --> 00:16:08,600 Speaker 3: I still haven't. And even though that was hard for 283 00:16:08,640 --> 00:16:12,760 Speaker 3: her because she wanted to bring these people to justice, 284 00:16:12,800 --> 00:16:17,560 Speaker 3: absolutely that was something that I decided I didn't want 285 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:20,080 Speaker 3: and she one hundred percent respected that. 286 00:16:20,680 --> 00:16:24,480 Speaker 2: I love that because I feel like so often people 287 00:16:24,640 --> 00:16:28,000 Speaker 2: just jump to wanding to I guess have a bit 288 00:16:28,000 --> 00:16:30,960 Speaker 2: of a savior mentality, like I really want to save you, 289 00:16:31,240 --> 00:16:33,360 Speaker 2: and the best thing in the entire world is for 290 00:16:33,400 --> 00:16:36,440 Speaker 2: me to go to the police. And I know that 291 00:16:36,440 --> 00:16:39,320 Speaker 2: that can be you know, it's the right thing, right 292 00:16:39,360 --> 00:16:41,840 Speaker 2: And as somebody who has not gone through that, I 293 00:16:42,440 --> 00:16:44,520 Speaker 2: you know, can sit here and say, oh my gosh, 294 00:16:44,600 --> 00:16:46,560 Speaker 2: I would absolutely go to the police, but you never 295 00:16:46,720 --> 00:16:49,320 Speaker 2: know until you're in that circumstance, and that can be 296 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:53,080 Speaker 2: a trauma in itself, like that can be reliving it, 297 00:16:53,280 --> 00:16:55,720 Speaker 2: but not only reliving it, but having it dragged out 298 00:16:55,760 --> 00:16:59,440 Speaker 2: and having it criticized and analyzed and drawn through the courts. 299 00:16:59,720 --> 00:17:03,000 Speaker 2: And it's actually okay to say no, I don't want 300 00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:05,920 Speaker 2: to go down that process and sit with that. And 301 00:17:06,000 --> 00:17:10,960 Speaker 2: I also don't think that it is anybody else's responsibility 302 00:17:11,400 --> 00:17:13,800 Speaker 2: to follow that up, Like you don't have a responsibility 303 00:17:13,880 --> 00:17:15,399 Speaker 2: to do that, and I think a lot of people 304 00:17:15,440 --> 00:17:18,679 Speaker 2: feel that, and you just don't. So I'm just so 305 00:17:18,800 --> 00:17:21,240 Speaker 2: proud of you having gone through all of that and 306 00:17:21,760 --> 00:17:23,520 Speaker 2: far out. You've got your head screwed on and you 307 00:17:23,720 --> 00:17:27,080 Speaker 2: dropped out of year twelve, Like what how good is that? 308 00:17:27,200 --> 00:17:29,359 Speaker 2: So talk to me? What's next? Like what are you 309 00:17:29,400 --> 00:17:31,840 Speaker 2: going to study? Like where's life going? What do you 310 00:17:31,920 --> 00:17:33,680 Speaker 2: want to do? I'm obsessed with you. 311 00:17:35,480 --> 00:17:41,040 Speaker 3: I think I want to work in supporting domestic violence survivors. 312 00:17:41,280 --> 00:17:44,240 Speaker 3: I think that sexual assault was a big part of 313 00:17:44,280 --> 00:17:46,720 Speaker 3: my story, but I also I think a flow on 314 00:17:46,920 --> 00:17:52,000 Speaker 3: from that was just not feeling worthy, not feeling confident, 315 00:17:52,359 --> 00:17:55,240 Speaker 3: or like there's something inherently wrong with me for that 316 00:17:55,440 --> 00:17:59,520 Speaker 3: to have happened, and that landed me in like an 317 00:17:59,560 --> 00:18:05,520 Speaker 3: abusive relationship which I got out of last year, and 318 00:18:05,560 --> 00:18:11,920 Speaker 3: he bled me dry with my savings and totally just 319 00:18:12,240 --> 00:18:16,359 Speaker 3: got in my head like a parasite and cracked my 320 00:18:16,520 --> 00:18:22,240 Speaker 3: sense of reality and my confidence and trust in myself. 321 00:18:23,200 --> 00:18:29,520 Speaker 3: So I think now I'm just working on rebuilding the 322 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:31,760 Speaker 3: fact that I can save money and I don't need 323 00:18:31,800 --> 00:18:36,480 Speaker 3: to feel guilty and it's not selfish, and really trying 324 00:18:36,520 --> 00:18:40,600 Speaker 3: to protect the money that I've worked really hard for 325 00:18:41,840 --> 00:18:44,639 Speaker 3: rather than just trying to save like a bit of 326 00:18:44,640 --> 00:18:48,600 Speaker 3: that savior complex with that guy that I was seeing, 327 00:18:48,720 --> 00:18:51,480 Speaker 3: and so just really trying to build my self confidence 328 00:18:51,600 --> 00:18:54,960 Speaker 3: up and the fact that I'm independent, this is me, 329 00:18:55,040 --> 00:18:59,760 Speaker 3: and I'm working on financial freedom for myself, not for 330 00:19:00,200 --> 00:19:03,399 Speaker 3: a partner, which I think is excellent as well, But 331 00:19:03,480 --> 00:19:07,040 Speaker 3: this is just me, and I am worth the work 332 00:19:07,080 --> 00:19:09,240 Speaker 3: that I put in for the money and also the 333 00:19:09,320 --> 00:19:11,240 Speaker 3: work I put in to save that money. 334 00:19:11,600 --> 00:19:14,840 Speaker 2: One hundred percent. You are far out, Brussel Sprout. You 335 00:19:15,000 --> 00:19:18,600 Speaker 2: are making me so insanely proud of you, Like I 336 00:19:18,760 --> 00:19:23,119 Speaker 2: just I'm in awe, Like it's so impressive to see 337 00:19:23,560 --> 00:19:26,399 Speaker 2: at twenty two, you just you are wise beyond your 338 00:19:26,480 --> 00:19:29,120 Speaker 2: years with mentality and mindset and the way that you're 339 00:19:29,119 --> 00:19:32,720 Speaker 2: approaching this. And I think that I wish everybody could 340 00:19:32,720 --> 00:19:35,520 Speaker 2: approach a situation like this, and your advice of like, 341 00:19:35,600 --> 00:19:37,879 Speaker 2: sometimes you just have to sit with it is so 342 00:19:38,640 --> 00:19:41,840 Speaker 2: relevant and so valid, especially right now, because I feel 343 00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:44,760 Speaker 2: like so many people have gone through things or are 344 00:19:44,800 --> 00:19:48,320 Speaker 2: going through things, and like, regardless of what it is like, 345 00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,440 Speaker 2: being able to just sit with it is something that 346 00:19:50,760 --> 00:19:53,679 Speaker 2: is really uncomfortable, right, Like it's not something we actually 347 00:19:53,760 --> 00:19:57,080 Speaker 2: want to do, and it's not something that is first nature. 348 00:19:57,400 --> 00:19:59,399 Speaker 2: It's something that you actually have to learn, but it 349 00:19:59,440 --> 00:20:03,000 Speaker 2: can be such a really important part of your healing 350 00:20:03,080 --> 00:20:06,240 Speaker 2: and a part of getting through it. And obviously, and 351 00:20:06,280 --> 00:20:09,400 Speaker 2: I won't say you're okay, but you are getting through 352 00:20:09,400 --> 00:20:11,880 Speaker 2: it in the best possible way, and I can see 353 00:20:11,920 --> 00:20:13,320 Speaker 2: that you can see the light at the end of 354 00:20:13,359 --> 00:20:17,480 Speaker 2: the tunnel. How did you gain the courage after going 355 00:20:17,480 --> 00:20:19,959 Speaker 2: through all of that to be in a relationship and 356 00:20:20,000 --> 00:20:23,720 Speaker 2: going all right, well, this douchebag has bled me dry. 357 00:20:24,600 --> 00:20:27,240 Speaker 2: What was the decision making process around going into what 358 00:20:27,280 --> 00:20:30,200 Speaker 2: I'm out, Like, I'm leaving this relationship. 359 00:20:30,119 --> 00:20:34,760 Speaker 3: It was really hard because he had weaseled his way 360 00:20:34,800 --> 00:20:40,760 Speaker 3: into my head and isolated me from my family and friends, 361 00:20:41,480 --> 00:20:43,760 Speaker 3: which is really scary because I'd like to think I 362 00:20:43,800 --> 00:20:47,119 Speaker 3: have one of the closest relationships a mother and a 363 00:20:47,200 --> 00:20:52,439 Speaker 3: daughter can have, and he got in between that. And 364 00:20:52,520 --> 00:20:56,840 Speaker 3: I tried three times to leave, and I ended up 365 00:20:56,880 --> 00:21:00,960 Speaker 3: going back. But I just remember thinking, I don't know 366 00:21:01,000 --> 00:21:03,720 Speaker 3: if this is too honest, so please tell me. But 367 00:21:04,440 --> 00:21:10,879 Speaker 3: he asked me to take my Marina out because he 368 00:21:10,920 --> 00:21:13,960 Speaker 3: didn't like contraception and he thought it was like unnatural, 369 00:21:14,160 --> 00:21:19,520 Speaker 3: and I just remember thinking, oh, my god, can you 370 00:21:19,720 --> 00:21:22,920 Speaker 3: I was imagining myself as a mother and my children, 371 00:21:23,040 --> 00:21:27,399 Speaker 3: seeing like having him as a father and how that 372 00:21:27,440 --> 00:21:30,520 Speaker 3: would affect my kids, and just thinking, oh my gosh, 373 00:21:30,560 --> 00:21:33,399 Speaker 3: I cannot bring kids into the world with this person. 374 00:21:33,440 --> 00:21:37,399 Speaker 3: And then that sort of just it was like a 375 00:21:37,440 --> 00:21:40,680 Speaker 3: sheep being taken off my eyes, and I just looked 376 00:21:40,720 --> 00:21:45,080 Speaker 3: at every single thing or every behavior that I was 377 00:21:45,119 --> 00:21:49,000 Speaker 3: doing for him and realized that it was completely against 378 00:21:49,000 --> 00:21:55,359 Speaker 3: my values. It was delusional, and I just could not 379 00:21:56,320 --> 00:22:00,520 Speaker 3: live like this for another second. And I think, like 380 00:22:00,640 --> 00:22:06,400 Speaker 3: in domestic violence situations, it's so hard because they isolate 381 00:22:06,480 --> 00:22:09,080 Speaker 3: you and they make you think that you're going crazy 382 00:22:09,119 --> 00:22:12,160 Speaker 3: and that you can't trust yourself. And he would even 383 00:22:12,200 --> 00:22:15,680 Speaker 3: pick on the way I did the dishes or my posture, 384 00:22:15,760 --> 00:22:20,000 Speaker 3: and I just couldn't do anything right. And that moment 385 00:22:20,080 --> 00:22:24,159 Speaker 3: of thinking he wants to bring kids into the world 386 00:22:24,680 --> 00:22:29,560 Speaker 3: with me, that was just too confronting. Yeah. 387 00:22:29,800 --> 00:22:33,120 Speaker 2: Yeah, it's an interesting way of thinking about it, right, 388 00:22:33,200 --> 00:22:35,760 Speaker 2: And I think that this can be true for a 389 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:38,880 Speaker 2: lot of people in relationships that are abusive, and maybe 390 00:22:38,880 --> 00:22:41,280 Speaker 2: they haven't realized that they're abusive, or maybe it's just 391 00:22:41,320 --> 00:22:44,439 Speaker 2: not the right person. Right. We are so and this 392 00:22:44,600 --> 00:22:46,919 Speaker 2: is so wrong, This is so so wrong, But we 393 00:22:46,960 --> 00:22:50,879 Speaker 2: are so willing to compromise ourselves and their own happiness 394 00:22:50,920 --> 00:22:55,480 Speaker 2: and our own safety and ourselves. But the second we 395 00:22:55,560 --> 00:22:59,040 Speaker 2: start thinking would I do that for my children, it's 396 00:22:59,040 --> 00:23:01,840 Speaker 2: a different story, right, Yeah, And I think that that 397 00:23:02,000 --> 00:23:05,520 Speaker 2: question can be and, as I said, confronting, because you go, 398 00:23:06,080 --> 00:23:09,040 Speaker 2: oh my gosh, that is absolutely not what I want 399 00:23:09,080 --> 00:23:11,119 Speaker 2: to do, like you know, and I mean there's a 400 00:23:11,160 --> 00:23:13,879 Speaker 2: whole overlay of him wanting you to take out your 401 00:23:13,920 --> 00:23:17,920 Speaker 2: marina like that is wildly messed up. But I guess 402 00:23:18,280 --> 00:23:21,520 Speaker 2: the part of this conversation we're talking about is would 403 00:23:21,560 --> 00:23:24,040 Speaker 2: you have children with this man? And would you be 404 00:23:24,119 --> 00:23:26,199 Speaker 2: happy for them to be their dad? And you go no. 405 00:23:26,880 --> 00:23:29,280 Speaker 2: And I think that the answer to that is the 406 00:23:29,320 --> 00:23:32,840 Speaker 2: answer to should you be in that relationship anymore? And 407 00:23:32,880 --> 00:23:35,600 Speaker 2: I think that that can be a good question to us, 408 00:23:35,640 --> 00:23:38,480 Speaker 2: because so many people justify relationships, right, like he's not 409 00:23:38,480 --> 00:23:40,440 Speaker 2: that bad, or he's really nice, or he's just going 410 00:23:40,440 --> 00:23:43,800 Speaker 2: through like we justify everything. But I think that can 411 00:23:43,840 --> 00:23:46,520 Speaker 2: be a question that a lot of people aren't ready 412 00:23:46,960 --> 00:23:50,600 Speaker 2: to know the answer to, right. But oh my gosh, 413 00:23:50,760 --> 00:23:53,120 Speaker 2: and I want to know how are you feeling now? 414 00:23:53,160 --> 00:23:56,720 Speaker 2: Because this is heavy, Like this is a lot to 415 00:23:56,760 --> 00:24:01,040 Speaker 2: have gone through, and like I now, I'm in my thirties, right, 416 00:24:01,400 --> 00:24:04,080 Speaker 2: And I think back to me being twenty two years 417 00:24:04,119 --> 00:24:06,000 Speaker 2: old and I'd just come out of a seven year 418 00:24:06,040 --> 00:24:09,119 Speaker 2: relationship and like it was an absolute mess. But I 419 00:24:09,160 --> 00:24:11,200 Speaker 2: look back and I go, I was such a baby, 420 00:24:11,440 --> 00:24:14,440 Speaker 2: and you're you're twenty two, Like to me, you are 421 00:24:15,119 --> 00:24:17,720 Speaker 2: so young and have so much ahead of you, but 422 00:24:17,920 --> 00:24:22,760 Speaker 2: have also lived so many lives. Are you okay? What 423 00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:25,880 Speaker 2: is going on with money? Diarist? Today? 424 00:24:26,520 --> 00:24:30,440 Speaker 3: Oh I feel like a fifty year old some days. 425 00:24:31,080 --> 00:24:36,840 Speaker 3: I guess every day is different and it's really hard 426 00:24:36,840 --> 00:24:39,520 Speaker 3: because you have to well, I felt like I had 427 00:24:39,560 --> 00:24:44,960 Speaker 3: to build myself up from nothing again. But then again, 428 00:24:45,040 --> 00:24:49,600 Speaker 3: I am so grateful and fortunate to have so many strong, 429 00:24:49,680 --> 00:24:52,480 Speaker 3: beautiful women. My mum again gets a shout out, like 430 00:24:52,560 --> 00:24:53,480 Speaker 3: she I. 431 00:24:53,520 --> 00:24:56,680 Speaker 2: Want to meet this woman. She sounds like an actual legend. 432 00:24:56,800 --> 00:24:59,960 Speaker 3: She is an actual legend. Yeah, I've really hurt her 433 00:25:00,440 --> 00:25:05,560 Speaker 3: when I chose my ex over her and I left, 434 00:25:04,840 --> 00:25:09,320 Speaker 3: and but the amazing woman took me back and she 435 00:25:10,160 --> 00:25:12,680 Speaker 3: you know, we had to mend that relationship. But I 436 00:25:14,080 --> 00:25:18,399 Speaker 3: got through that time because I have really beautiful, strong 437 00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:22,720 Speaker 3: people around me and there's just something I don't know, 438 00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:27,080 Speaker 3: something in me that it doesn't matter how bad it gets, 439 00:25:28,200 --> 00:25:31,399 Speaker 3: I just can't give up, Like I just have to 440 00:25:32,600 --> 00:25:33,200 Speaker 3: keep going. 441 00:25:33,320 --> 00:25:35,639 Speaker 2: I love that. I love that so much, and I 442 00:25:35,680 --> 00:25:38,879 Speaker 2: think that that's something I wish we all had, right, Like, 443 00:25:38,960 --> 00:25:41,080 Speaker 2: no matter how hard it gets, I keep going. Like 444 00:25:41,160 --> 00:25:46,000 Speaker 2: what an absolutely valuable personality trait you have. I feel 445 00:25:46,000 --> 00:25:47,879 Speaker 2: like so many of us are like, oh my gosh, no, 446 00:25:48,000 --> 00:25:53,119 Speaker 2: I just call into bed and I'm done. 447 00:25:51,280 --> 00:25:51,840 Speaker 3: Days like that. 448 00:25:51,920 --> 00:25:54,720 Speaker 2: Don't worry, I'm sorry for So let's go to a 449 00:25:54,760 --> 00:25:56,920 Speaker 2: really quick break and then after. I actually want a 450 00:25:56,960 --> 00:25:59,720 Speaker 2: deep dive a bit more into your money goals and 451 00:25:59,800 --> 00:26:02,600 Speaker 2: what your habits are and whether you invest, and what 452 00:26:02,680 --> 00:26:05,920 Speaker 2: the plans are for the future. So guys don't go anywhere, 453 00:26:10,200 --> 00:26:14,040 Speaker 2: all right, money Diarist, let's dive straight back in, maybe 454 00:26:14,119 --> 00:26:16,879 Speaker 2: a little lighter on this side of the episode. Though, 455 00:26:17,320 --> 00:26:20,280 Speaker 2: Money Diarist, you're killing it. You are earning. You said 456 00:26:20,359 --> 00:26:23,800 Speaker 2: seventeen hundred and fifty eight dollars per fortnite, which equates 457 00:26:23,800 --> 00:26:26,760 Speaker 2: to about fifty five thousand dollars a year, not taking 458 00:26:26,800 --> 00:26:29,920 Speaker 2: into consideration superannuation. And then you said you earned three 459 00:26:30,000 --> 00:26:34,000 Speaker 2: hundred and eighty dollars per fortnite is or per month? 460 00:26:34,160 --> 00:26:36,560 Speaker 2: Was it? I think it was per mon doing cleaning 461 00:26:36,560 --> 00:26:39,320 Speaker 2: because you're a little side hustler. I want to know 462 00:26:39,560 --> 00:26:42,400 Speaker 2: what are your big money goals, what are you working towards. 463 00:26:42,720 --> 00:26:47,199 Speaker 3: I think I really want to just have stability in 464 00:26:47,280 --> 00:26:52,800 Speaker 3: my finances and have the option of leaving a situation 465 00:26:53,160 --> 00:26:56,600 Speaker 3: or leaving a job or a relationship that I don't 466 00:26:56,640 --> 00:26:59,600 Speaker 3: want to be in anymore, and having that financial buffer 467 00:26:59,640 --> 00:27:03,560 Speaker 3: behind me. But I think the main money goal would 468 00:27:03,640 --> 00:27:07,720 Speaker 3: be to buy a bit of property and like start 469 00:27:07,760 --> 00:27:10,959 Speaker 3: my own garden and have my own house. That's the 470 00:27:11,000 --> 00:27:13,040 Speaker 3: main one. And I also want to go to Italy 471 00:27:13,080 --> 00:27:14,280 Speaker 3: with my mum next year. 472 00:27:14,640 --> 00:27:18,320 Speaker 2: Ah, a wholesome goal. I also I'm loving this. You're like, 473 00:27:18,400 --> 00:27:20,560 Speaker 2: I'm a fifty year old is what you said before 474 00:27:20,600 --> 00:27:22,280 Speaker 2: the break, And now you're like, I want to start 475 00:27:22,280 --> 00:27:24,280 Speaker 2: a garden and I want to go to Italy. I'm like, yep, 476 00:27:24,359 --> 00:27:27,040 Speaker 2: we are the same person. We are fifty year olds 477 00:27:27,080 --> 00:27:31,399 Speaker 2: trapped in younger bodies money diarrest. The next question I've 478 00:27:31,440 --> 00:27:33,280 Speaker 2: got for you, I want to know about investments. Are 479 00:27:33,280 --> 00:27:35,800 Speaker 2: you investing? If so, how I'm. 480 00:27:35,640 --> 00:27:40,119 Speaker 3: Not at the moment. I read about it and like, 481 00:27:40,160 --> 00:27:42,760 Speaker 3: I listened to the podcast, but I'm just I'm a 482 00:27:42,840 --> 00:27:45,479 Speaker 3: little bit scared to take the first step. 483 00:27:45,840 --> 00:27:50,320 Speaker 2: I feel like that is so relatable but also really normal, 484 00:27:50,480 --> 00:27:52,520 Speaker 2: Like you don't have to take that step until you're 485 00:27:52,600 --> 00:27:54,920 Speaker 2: absolutely ready to do it. And I think too many 486 00:27:54,960 --> 00:27:57,600 Speaker 2: times people I don't know, they take it too early 487 00:27:57,680 --> 00:27:59,320 Speaker 2: and then they run away from it and then they 488 00:27:59,359 --> 00:28:01,320 Speaker 2: bury their head the sand and don't pick it up 489 00:28:01,359 --> 00:28:03,639 Speaker 2: for a few more years. So I'd much prefer it 490 00:28:03,720 --> 00:28:07,720 Speaker 2: to take a little bit longer than fruit to be turbocharged. 491 00:28:07,800 --> 00:28:09,639 Speaker 2: So that is not the worst thing in the world. 492 00:28:10,160 --> 00:28:12,359 Speaker 2: The next question, I don't think you do, But do 493 00:28:12,400 --> 00:28:14,520 Speaker 2: you have any debts? If so, what are they? 494 00:28:14,720 --> 00:28:18,600 Speaker 3: No, I don't at the moment. I had a five 495 00:28:18,760 --> 00:28:22,119 Speaker 3: grand debt for my car, but I paid that off 496 00:28:22,720 --> 00:28:27,400 Speaker 3: within a couple months. And yeah, other than that, I'm 497 00:28:27,440 --> 00:28:29,640 Speaker 3: planning to study next year, so i'll have a hex 498 00:28:29,680 --> 00:28:30,200 Speaker 3: step then. 499 00:28:30,480 --> 00:28:33,040 Speaker 2: And you're planning on studying psychology. Is that right? 500 00:28:33,520 --> 00:28:37,360 Speaker 3: Psychology or social work? I'm still not sure which one. 501 00:28:37,600 --> 00:28:40,720 Speaker 2: Air pic l right. Next question I've got for you, 502 00:28:40,840 --> 00:28:42,960 Speaker 2: I want to know. I feel like your mum's taught 503 00:28:42,960 --> 00:28:45,840 Speaker 2: you a lot here. What is your best money habit? 504 00:28:47,120 --> 00:28:50,760 Speaker 3: I think I use an app on my phone called Spendy. 505 00:28:51,200 --> 00:28:53,560 Speaker 2: Ooh, I don't think I've heard of this one. 506 00:28:54,080 --> 00:28:57,280 Speaker 3: I love it like you can sort It's just tracking 507 00:28:57,320 --> 00:29:00,840 Speaker 3: all your spending and your income, and you can sort 508 00:29:00,880 --> 00:29:05,440 Speaker 3: it into categories and have different tags on them. So 509 00:29:05,600 --> 00:29:09,000 Speaker 3: if I want to know how much I've spent on gas, 510 00:29:09,040 --> 00:29:11,720 Speaker 3: boarder and electricity, I'll just go into that category and 511 00:29:11,800 --> 00:29:15,640 Speaker 3: see the spending in the last twelve months. So I 512 00:29:15,720 --> 00:29:19,120 Speaker 3: think even if I don't stick to my budget, I'll 513 00:29:19,160 --> 00:29:22,920 Speaker 3: still put every single dollar I spend in that app. 514 00:29:23,120 --> 00:29:25,920 Speaker 2: That's really powerful. Too many times, and I say this 515 00:29:26,080 --> 00:29:28,680 Speaker 2: all the time on the podcast. So many of us 516 00:29:28,720 --> 00:29:31,520 Speaker 2: are able to articulate how much comes into our account, 517 00:29:31,600 --> 00:29:33,680 Speaker 2: but we don't know what goes out, and being in 518 00:29:33,720 --> 00:29:37,080 Speaker 2: control of that is where financial freedom starts. So where 519 00:29:37,080 --> 00:29:39,560 Speaker 2: did this come from? Who gave you this recommendation of 520 00:29:39,600 --> 00:29:42,360 Speaker 2: this spending app or is there something you've just always done? 521 00:29:42,440 --> 00:29:45,920 Speaker 3: I think listening to Sheees on the Money and reading 522 00:29:45,960 --> 00:29:49,400 Speaker 3: your book on the cash flow, like, I had no 523 00:29:49,640 --> 00:29:53,239 Speaker 3: idea where all my money was going, and it just 524 00:29:53,360 --> 00:29:57,480 Speaker 3: all felt like a tornado and I was in the middle, 525 00:29:57,680 --> 00:30:01,719 Speaker 3: and so I thought, no, I'm going to just start 526 00:30:01,760 --> 00:30:04,200 Speaker 3: seeing where it's going. And then once we know what 527 00:30:04,320 --> 00:30:07,120 Speaker 3: we have, we know what we can work with and 528 00:30:07,280 --> 00:30:09,280 Speaker 3: what we can work towards. 529 00:30:09,640 --> 00:30:12,840 Speaker 2: I guess, love, how do you feel now you know 530 00:30:13,080 --> 00:30:15,760 Speaker 2: what you have and what you're working towards in comparison 531 00:30:15,840 --> 00:30:18,400 Speaker 2: to being in the middle of a tornado? So empowered? 532 00:30:19,600 --> 00:30:22,120 Speaker 2: I love it. That's exactly what we want to hear. 533 00:30:22,120 --> 00:30:24,440 Speaker 2: And I was definitely leading you down the garden path 534 00:30:24,560 --> 00:30:27,640 Speaker 2: to say that, let's flip this on its head though. 535 00:30:27,680 --> 00:30:30,000 Speaker 2: I want to know what is your worst money have it? 536 00:30:30,120 --> 00:30:32,240 Speaker 2: What are you not so good at I find it 537 00:30:32,360 --> 00:30:33,480 Speaker 2: really difficult to. 538 00:30:35,360 --> 00:30:39,360 Speaker 3: I don't know, because I had no money and quite 539 00:30:39,400 --> 00:30:42,640 Speaker 3: bad like behaviors and giving it away or just getting 540 00:30:42,760 --> 00:30:48,080 Speaker 3: rid of it. Now, I'll save like seventy five percent 541 00:30:48,120 --> 00:30:52,280 Speaker 3: of my paycheck and leave off like all my expenses 542 00:30:52,280 --> 00:30:55,480 Speaker 3: are really low, and I feel guilty if I like 543 00:30:56,520 --> 00:31:00,000 Speaker 3: buy myself a skirt for work or like go out 544 00:31:00,080 --> 00:31:03,680 Speaker 3: for a nice dinner. I think, yeah, like that guilt 545 00:31:03,720 --> 00:31:07,560 Speaker 3: around spending money and feeling like I'm doing what I 546 00:31:07,640 --> 00:31:12,000 Speaker 3: used to do. I think that's probably the worst money habit, 547 00:31:12,280 --> 00:31:15,960 Speaker 3: because I don't really feel that proud of myself for 548 00:31:16,000 --> 00:31:18,880 Speaker 3: the savings I do have. It's just like, oh, well, 549 00:31:18,920 --> 00:31:21,600 Speaker 3: you could have had more if you didn't do this, this, 550 00:31:21,640 --> 00:31:23,040 Speaker 3: and this those years ago. 551 00:31:23,440 --> 00:31:27,680 Speaker 2: No, that's so detrimental, and we say it all the 552 00:31:27,760 --> 00:31:31,040 Speaker 2: time when we're talking to diarists. I feel like, once 553 00:31:31,080 --> 00:31:34,760 Speaker 2: we start to become educated, one of the detrimental things 554 00:31:34,800 --> 00:31:37,600 Speaker 2: about education is that we want to overlay it over 555 00:31:37,640 --> 00:31:40,360 Speaker 2: our past. We want to look at the education that 556 00:31:40,400 --> 00:31:42,840 Speaker 2: we have today and go far out like I did 557 00:31:42,880 --> 00:31:45,640 Speaker 2: this wrong and this wrong and this wrong, whereas past 558 00:31:45,760 --> 00:31:47,920 Speaker 2: you she was just doing the best that she could 559 00:31:47,920 --> 00:31:49,760 Speaker 2: with the tools and resources she out at the time. 560 00:31:50,080 --> 00:31:52,000 Speaker 2: And it's nice to look back and go fire out, 561 00:31:52,040 --> 00:31:56,120 Speaker 2: I could have, but in reality you didn't and that's okay, 562 00:31:56,160 --> 00:31:58,280 Speaker 2: and we can't change that. And I think it's really 563 00:31:58,280 --> 00:32:01,480 Speaker 2: about acknowledging, Hey, we can't change the past. We can't, 564 00:32:01,560 --> 00:32:03,880 Speaker 2: you know, change what you would have saved for or 565 00:32:03,920 --> 00:32:06,640 Speaker 2: what education would have done for you back then. But 566 00:32:06,720 --> 00:32:09,440 Speaker 2: what we can do is reinvent our money story for 567 00:32:09,480 --> 00:32:11,560 Speaker 2: the future, and we can actually put ourselves in the 568 00:32:11,600 --> 00:32:15,440 Speaker 2: best possible position. And it's not constructive in any way, 569 00:32:15,440 --> 00:32:18,360 Speaker 2: shape or form to be saying things like that to ourselves, 570 00:32:18,400 --> 00:32:20,400 Speaker 2: because it just makes us feel like trash. Right, Like 571 00:32:20,720 --> 00:32:22,720 Speaker 2: when you do that, you're like, oh my gosh, I'm 572 00:32:22,720 --> 00:32:26,200 Speaker 2: not celebrating how far I've come. And I mean if 573 00:32:26,200 --> 00:32:30,080 Speaker 2: I took you, let's say, four years ago and said, 574 00:32:30,160 --> 00:32:34,200 Speaker 2: all right, look at money Diarist today, Oh my gosh, 575 00:32:34,400 --> 00:32:36,800 Speaker 2: imagine how proud she would be of what you've achieved. 576 00:32:36,800 --> 00:32:39,280 Speaker 2: Should be in awe of everything that you're doing and 577 00:32:39,320 --> 00:32:41,720 Speaker 2: the job and the side hustling and the savings and 578 00:32:41,760 --> 00:32:47,200 Speaker 2: the planning, Like, imagine that circumstance instead of what if. 579 00:32:47,680 --> 00:32:50,560 Speaker 2: And I think that we can really reframe what success 580 00:32:50,600 --> 00:32:54,240 Speaker 2: looks like, because sometimes we get into this I guess 581 00:32:54,320 --> 00:32:57,880 Speaker 2: groove of it not being enough or not being consistent enough. 582 00:32:57,920 --> 00:33:00,880 Speaker 2: But it's so enough, Like you're killing it. I'm just Oh, 583 00:33:00,920 --> 00:33:04,360 Speaker 2: I'm so proud of you. Earlier you gave us a 584 00:33:04,400 --> 00:33:07,840 Speaker 2: money score, and now we've gone through all of this, Like, 585 00:33:07,920 --> 00:33:11,360 Speaker 2: I'm just so proud of you to know that you're 586 00:33:11,400 --> 00:33:14,120 Speaker 2: saving and you you know you're you're on cash flow, 587 00:33:14,120 --> 00:33:16,320 Speaker 2: You've read my book, you have your spendye app, you 588 00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:18,640 Speaker 2: had a Carlo and you paid it off. You are 589 00:33:18,720 --> 00:33:21,680 Speaker 2: planning to study. Do you think that the score you 590 00:33:21,720 --> 00:33:24,720 Speaker 2: gave yourself at the start of the episode is accurate? 591 00:33:24,920 --> 00:33:26,680 Speaker 2: Or maybe do you think you're being a little bit 592 00:33:26,760 --> 00:33:29,600 Speaker 2: harsh on yourself in any way, shape or for harsh 593 00:33:29,600 --> 00:33:30,440 Speaker 2: on myself? 594 00:33:30,480 --> 00:33:35,160 Speaker 3: That's so not like me. Yeah, I think I would 595 00:33:35,200 --> 00:33:38,680 Speaker 3: definitely being a bit harsh on myself. Today I added 596 00:33:38,840 --> 00:33:41,120 Speaker 3: a little bit to my savings and it clicked over 597 00:33:41,240 --> 00:33:44,680 Speaker 3: to fourteen thousand dollars, So. 598 00:33:45,240 --> 00:33:47,440 Speaker 2: No, I didn't. That's so exciting. 599 00:33:47,600 --> 00:33:52,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, I feel like maybe a B would be a 600 00:33:52,280 --> 00:33:53,560 Speaker 3: little bit more appropriate. 601 00:33:54,440 --> 00:33:56,040 Speaker 2: Oh, I'm going to give you an A. I just 602 00:33:56,040 --> 00:33:58,680 Speaker 2: feel like you deserve it. You're a queen and fourteen 603 00:33:58,720 --> 00:34:02,040 Speaker 2: thousand dollars saved at twenty to Holy moly, I was 604 00:34:02,080 --> 00:34:04,440 Speaker 2: in more debt than that, Like at twenty two, I 605 00:34:04,480 --> 00:34:07,040 Speaker 2: think I had close to forty just over forty thousand. 606 00:34:07,040 --> 00:34:08,600 Speaker 2: I need to go find that statement because I think 607 00:34:08,600 --> 00:34:11,600 Speaker 2: people would find it interesting. But I was in forty 608 00:34:11,600 --> 00:34:14,400 Speaker 2: thousand dollars worth of personal debt at that age because 609 00:34:14,600 --> 00:34:17,440 Speaker 2: I just didn't have a financial education. I had no idea. 610 00:34:17,520 --> 00:34:19,839 Speaker 2: So knowing where you are, I'm just so proud. I'm 611 00:34:19,840 --> 00:34:22,080 Speaker 2: so proud of everything that you've done, everything that you've 612 00:34:22,120 --> 00:34:24,520 Speaker 2: been willing to share with us. I just feel like 613 00:34:24,560 --> 00:34:28,120 Speaker 2: this story is not only going to teach people a lot, 614 00:34:28,160 --> 00:34:30,680 Speaker 2: but I think it's also going to give a lot 615 00:34:30,680 --> 00:34:34,279 Speaker 2: of people in our community the permission to just sit 616 00:34:34,360 --> 00:34:37,000 Speaker 2: with their feelings, which I think is just so important. 617 00:34:37,120 --> 00:34:41,040 Speaker 2: And I'm so grateful that you've shared that, so moneyed Diarist. Unfortunately, 618 00:34:41,040 --> 00:34:43,960 Speaker 2: that's all we have time for today, but thank you 619 00:34:44,040 --> 00:34:46,360 Speaker 2: for your story and for spending some time with me. 620 00:34:46,560 --> 00:34:48,560 Speaker 2: I'm just I'm so forever grateful. 621 00:34:48,719 --> 00:34:51,960 Speaker 3: Thank you so much. Viktoria. It's been a blessing to 622 00:34:52,000 --> 00:34:57,440 Speaker 3: be on the show. 623 00:35:00,040 --> 00:35:02,279 Speaker 2: I shared on She's on the Money is general in 624 00:35:02,360 --> 00:35:06,160 Speaker 2: nature and does not consider your individual circumstances. She's on 625 00:35:06,200 --> 00:35:09,719 Speaker 2: the Money exists purely for educational purposes and should not 626 00:35:09,760 --> 00:35:12,760 Speaker 2: be relied upon to make an investment or financial decision. 627 00:35:13,120 --> 00:35:15,560 Speaker 2: If you do choose to buy a financial product, read 628 00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:19,760 Speaker 2: the PDS TMD and obtain appropriate financial advice tailored towards 629 00:35:19,760 --> 00:35:23,040 Speaker 2: your needs. Victoria Divine and She's on the Money are 630 00:35:23,120 --> 00:35:28,120 Speaker 2: authorized representatives of money. Sheper pty Ltd ABN three two 631 00:35:28,160 --> 00:35:31,160 Speaker 2: one IS six four nine two seven seven zero eight 632 00:35:31,440 --> 00:35:36,160 Speaker 2: AFSL four five one two eight nine