1 00:00:02,440 --> 00:00:07,840 Speaker 1: Get a I'm Lola Berry, nutritionist, author, actor, TV presenter, 2 00:00:08,119 --> 00:00:14,080 Speaker 1: and professional oversharer. This podcast is all about celebrating failure 3 00:00:14,600 --> 00:00:17,240 Speaker 1: because I believe it's a chance for us to learn, 4 00:00:17,800 --> 00:00:22,200 Speaker 1: grow and face our blind spots. Each week, I'll interview 5 00:00:22,280 --> 00:00:25,680 Speaker 1: a different guest about their highs as well as their lows, 6 00:00:26,239 --> 00:00:35,000 Speaker 1: all in a bid to inspire us to fearlessly fail. Hello, 7 00:00:35,200 --> 00:00:39,600 Speaker 1: welcome to the pod. We have a lovely guest also 8 00:00:39,760 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 1: who has a brilliant voice on the pod today. 9 00:00:42,120 --> 00:00:43,559 Speaker 2: His name is Michael Gullion. 10 00:00:43,920 --> 00:00:46,800 Speaker 1: He's actually just bought a book out called Let It 11 00:00:46,880 --> 00:00:51,519 Speaker 1: Settle Daily Habits to move you from chaos to calm. 12 00:00:51,880 --> 00:00:55,040 Speaker 1: So I don't know about you, listener, but this is 13 00:00:55,120 --> 00:00:59,120 Speaker 1: an episode that I definitely needed to hear On the 14 00:00:59,160 --> 00:01:03,000 Speaker 1: way to recording pod. We recorded it at SOHO Works, 15 00:01:03,600 --> 00:01:07,959 Speaker 1: which is like a coworking space link to SOHO House 16 00:01:08,080 --> 00:01:10,960 Speaker 1: here in Los Angeles, and I was stuck in traffic 17 00:01:10,959 --> 00:01:12,680 Speaker 1: on the way. I was running late, and I went 18 00:01:12,720 --> 00:01:16,920 Speaker 1: into this episode a little stressed and just chit chatting 19 00:01:17,600 --> 00:01:20,759 Speaker 1: for a couple of minutes with Michael calmed me straight down. 20 00:01:20,880 --> 00:01:24,120 Speaker 1: So I hope you love this episode. The book is 21 00:01:24,160 --> 00:01:28,000 Speaker 1: officially available now worldwide, so. 22 00:01:28,040 --> 00:01:29,080 Speaker 2: Get your hands on it. 23 00:01:29,400 --> 00:01:33,000 Speaker 1: He's also got a huge following on TikTok and Insta 24 00:01:33,160 --> 00:01:37,240 Speaker 1: as well. Check out Michael. He's a lovely human and 25 00:01:37,360 --> 00:01:40,880 Speaker 1: I hope you feel that little bit calmer after today's pod. 26 00:01:42,959 --> 00:01:47,319 Speaker 1: Welcome to the Pod of Rooney Michael Gully, and I 27 00:01:47,360 --> 00:01:51,880 Speaker 1: am so excited to have you here and just soak 28 00:01:51,960 --> 00:01:54,120 Speaker 1: up all that is you and the magic of you. 29 00:01:54,280 --> 00:01:59,360 Speaker 1: So in a nutshell, is it fair to say mindfulness, 30 00:01:59,720 --> 00:02:01,520 Speaker 1: meta tation, life coach. 31 00:02:02,240 --> 00:02:06,200 Speaker 3: That's a good, good, good descriptor there a good combine. Yeah, 32 00:02:06,240 --> 00:02:10,240 Speaker 3: so mindfulness, teacher, meditation, teacher, professional coach. I do corporate 33 00:02:10,240 --> 00:02:11,640 Speaker 3: coaching and individual coaching. 34 00:02:12,080 --> 00:02:12,600 Speaker 2: Beautiful. 35 00:02:13,360 --> 00:02:15,320 Speaker 1: Can you take me back a little bit because I 36 00:02:15,400 --> 00:02:18,680 Speaker 1: loved hearing that you have this background of musical theater. 37 00:02:19,000 --> 00:02:22,760 Speaker 3: Yes, yeah, so I originally moved to New York to 38 00:02:22,800 --> 00:02:25,320 Speaker 3: be in musical theater. Have done that since I was 39 00:02:26,440 --> 00:02:29,800 Speaker 3: twelve years old, and you know, I was in the 40 00:02:29,800 --> 00:02:32,639 Speaker 3: Wizard of Oz as the Lion was my first musical. 41 00:02:32,800 --> 00:02:35,760 Speaker 2: That is a brilliant that's a big fast It. 42 00:02:36,120 --> 00:02:38,119 Speaker 3: Was a big one and I was such a quiet kid. 43 00:02:38,240 --> 00:02:40,920 Speaker 3: My parents were like, are you sure? Yeah? Are you sure? 44 00:02:42,040 --> 00:02:44,280 Speaker 3: But it was great. Gave me this like ability to 45 00:02:44,360 --> 00:02:47,640 Speaker 3: kind of put myself out there and I still use 46 00:02:47,680 --> 00:02:49,799 Speaker 3: it every day. But yeah, I moved to New York 47 00:02:49,840 --> 00:02:53,440 Speaker 3: to do that and was performing and kind of performing 48 00:02:53,440 --> 00:02:56,239 Speaker 3: around the world and went over to China and was 49 00:02:56,280 --> 00:02:59,560 Speaker 3: doing tours with the orchestras and singing and I was 50 00:02:59,639 --> 00:03:02,400 Speaker 3: just the dream and it was wonderful, which kind of 51 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:05,720 Speaker 3: ties into why I left performing, which was because I 52 00:03:05,760 --> 00:03:09,799 Speaker 3: started to develop severe anxiety. So stage fright was there. 53 00:03:10,400 --> 00:03:12,360 Speaker 3: Every time I would go on stage, I would just 54 00:03:12,400 --> 00:03:16,480 Speaker 3: have severe panic attacks, and so knew that I had 55 00:03:16,520 --> 00:03:18,800 Speaker 3: to leave. Knew that I had to, you know, find 56 00:03:18,800 --> 00:03:21,239 Speaker 3: something else to do, and so I really started just 57 00:03:21,320 --> 00:03:25,760 Speaker 3: kind of soul searching and ended up finding a yoga 58 00:03:25,800 --> 00:03:29,040 Speaker 3: class that was taught by a mindfulness teacher who did 59 00:03:29,040 --> 00:03:32,720 Speaker 3: mindfulness meditation before each class, and it was the first 60 00:03:32,800 --> 00:03:35,200 Speaker 3: time that I was like, oh, this this works, this 61 00:03:35,440 --> 00:03:39,240 Speaker 3: is this is helping that anxiety. And so really dove 62 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:42,720 Speaker 3: into that and needed a survival job at that point. 63 00:03:42,840 --> 00:03:47,880 Speaker 3: So I started teaching kids and started first teaching gymnastics 64 00:03:48,280 --> 00:03:51,080 Speaker 3: and then went and fell in love with it and 65 00:03:51,120 --> 00:03:56,200 Speaker 3: then started teaching preschool and sorry, yeah, and so I 66 00:03:56,240 --> 00:03:59,640 Speaker 3: started teaching two in three year olds. That was kind 67 00:03:59,640 --> 00:04:03,160 Speaker 3: of the the space that I lived in and ended 68 00:04:03,200 --> 00:04:04,240 Speaker 3: up doing that for a decade. 69 00:04:04,840 --> 00:04:07,880 Speaker 2: Oh how fun? Ye yeah, kiddos, so fun. 70 00:04:08,320 --> 00:04:13,120 Speaker 1: I have to ask because it feels like I've consumed 71 00:04:13,160 --> 00:04:15,640 Speaker 1: a lot of you on TikTok and Insta and your 72 00:04:15,760 --> 00:04:19,760 Speaker 1: pop Beautiful pod. Does it feel like now you've done 73 00:04:19,839 --> 00:04:21,680 Speaker 1: kind of like a full circle coming back to that 74 00:04:21,760 --> 00:04:26,480 Speaker 1: performance side or being comfortable in the limelight, so to speak. 75 00:04:26,680 --> 00:04:31,120 Speaker 3: Kind of it's it? Does it feels like this there 76 00:04:31,160 --> 00:04:33,680 Speaker 3: is a performance element to it, and there is a creativity, 77 00:04:33,720 --> 00:04:37,920 Speaker 3: and it does feel like my meditations are my art now. 78 00:04:38,440 --> 00:04:42,000 Speaker 2: Ah, I feel like, I mean not to get to esotery. 79 00:04:42,040 --> 00:04:44,159 Speaker 2: Can he be on you? I'm a yoga teacher as well? 80 00:04:44,240 --> 00:04:47,800 Speaker 1: So I feel like, well, really well, But there's this 81 00:04:47,960 --> 00:04:50,880 Speaker 1: thing where it's almost like, and you would know all 82 00:04:50,880 --> 00:04:53,120 Speaker 1: this because of yobs, but when we talk about Dhama 83 00:04:53,120 --> 00:04:56,680 Speaker 1: and living our purpose and whatnot, it's almost like you. 84 00:04:56,560 --> 00:04:57,919 Speaker 2: Were meant to do. 85 00:04:57,960 --> 00:05:01,080 Speaker 1: You sometimes feel like you're meant to have that experience 86 00:05:01,160 --> 00:05:05,120 Speaker 1: of being a performer totally. The discomfort of like the anxiety, 87 00:05:05,200 --> 00:05:08,400 Speaker 1: the panic attacks that then through the years kind of 88 00:05:08,600 --> 00:05:10,920 Speaker 1: formed into what you're doing now with the way that 89 00:05:11,000 --> 00:05:14,320 Speaker 1: you essentially it feels like your goal is to like 90 00:05:14,720 --> 00:05:15,680 Speaker 1: touch and help people. 91 00:05:15,920 --> 00:05:20,560 Speaker 3: Yeah. I mean looking back, everything makes perfect sense, Like 92 00:05:20,720 --> 00:05:23,240 Speaker 3: every step is like, oh that makes sense. In the 93 00:05:23,279 --> 00:05:26,240 Speaker 3: middle of it, none of it made sense. Yeah, and 94 00:05:26,279 --> 00:05:29,720 Speaker 3: I felt so disjointed and like, why I'm not a 95 00:05:29,760 --> 00:05:33,440 Speaker 3: preschool teacher, what is going on? But it really does. 96 00:05:33,520 --> 00:05:36,159 Speaker 3: And even just the way that I teach, and the 97 00:05:36,160 --> 00:05:38,839 Speaker 3: way that I learned to teach in a preschool classroom 98 00:05:38,960 --> 00:05:42,560 Speaker 3: was by distilling things down to such digestible bites for 99 00:05:42,640 --> 00:05:45,920 Speaker 3: little minds, and that's how I teach meditation now is 100 00:05:46,080 --> 00:05:47,600 Speaker 3: just the same way that I would a three year 101 00:05:47,600 --> 00:05:51,159 Speaker 3: old and it's working. The simplicity of it is just 102 00:05:51,240 --> 00:05:54,320 Speaker 3: reaching you know, millions of people at this point. 103 00:05:54,720 --> 00:05:57,000 Speaker 1: That's I love that you said, like the simplicity of it. 104 00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:59,680 Speaker 1: I think a lot of us and I'm sure you 105 00:05:59,720 --> 00:06:03,720 Speaker 1: get not even pushback, but I mean people that go, oh, no, 106 00:06:03,880 --> 00:06:06,120 Speaker 1: my mind's too busy, I can't Oh I can't do that, 107 00:06:06,320 --> 00:06:07,800 Speaker 1: or I just don't have time for that. 108 00:06:08,040 --> 00:06:08,320 Speaker 3: Yeah. 109 00:06:08,360 --> 00:06:10,840 Speaker 1: And so the way that you simplified and make it 110 00:06:10,920 --> 00:06:16,520 Speaker 1: like completely attainable, I imagine as one of your superpowers. 111 00:06:16,160 --> 00:06:18,440 Speaker 3: That is the goal that I always have. I want 112 00:06:18,440 --> 00:06:23,520 Speaker 3: to make it entirely accessible and attainable within the time 113 00:06:23,600 --> 00:06:27,679 Speaker 3: that you have. And so if you have thirty seconds, great, 114 00:06:27,880 --> 00:06:29,800 Speaker 3: let's do that. Let's figure out how you can make 115 00:06:29,839 --> 00:06:32,680 Speaker 3: a shift and a change in those thirty seconds. And 116 00:06:32,720 --> 00:06:36,120 Speaker 3: so on social media, I always try and do different lengths, 117 00:06:36,240 --> 00:06:39,280 Speaker 3: and so if you study kind of how I produce things, 118 00:06:39,320 --> 00:06:41,280 Speaker 3: it's you know, the first one of the week is 119 00:06:41,440 --> 00:06:43,919 Speaker 3: thirty seconds, and then it goes to a minute, and 120 00:06:43,960 --> 00:06:45,840 Speaker 3: then it's maybe two minutes, and then maybe at the 121 00:06:45,920 --> 00:06:47,719 Speaker 3: end of the week we're at three minutes. And so 122 00:06:47,760 --> 00:06:50,200 Speaker 3: it's just kind of training you to learn that as 123 00:06:50,200 --> 00:06:52,240 Speaker 3: you go through the week, your attention becomes longer and 124 00:06:52,240 --> 00:06:54,240 Speaker 3: you can kind of sit in the moment a little 125 00:06:54,240 --> 00:06:54,560 Speaker 3: bit more. 126 00:06:54,600 --> 00:06:55,520 Speaker 2: Oh, I love it. 127 00:06:56,040 --> 00:06:57,479 Speaker 1: I forgot to warn you at the start of this, 128 00:06:57,560 --> 00:07:00,640 Speaker 1: and my mind is like a pinball machine literally, so 129 00:07:00,680 --> 00:07:02,600 Speaker 1: you're going to say something and I'm going to be like, right, 130 00:07:02,680 --> 00:07:06,920 Speaker 1: can we talk about that? And also, like, having consumed 131 00:07:07,000 --> 00:07:10,640 Speaker 1: your pod, your book, I'm so excited for the release 132 00:07:10,680 --> 00:07:12,440 Speaker 1: of It's like coming out in ten days, isn't. 133 00:07:12,280 --> 00:07:14,080 Speaker 3: It coming out September twenty four? Yeah? 134 00:07:14,160 --> 00:07:18,400 Speaker 2: Yeah, oh, Yes, so soon, so exciting. So there are 135 00:07:18,480 --> 00:07:21,240 Speaker 2: little bits of info that have stuck with me, and I'm. 136 00:07:21,160 --> 00:07:22,520 Speaker 1: Like, I've got to ask you about this. Can I 137 00:07:22,600 --> 00:07:25,480 Speaker 1: ask you about some stuff that is like absolutely. 138 00:07:25,040 --> 00:07:25,840 Speaker 2: Stuck on me? 139 00:07:27,320 --> 00:07:31,880 Speaker 1: This feeling of you describe it as feeling at home 140 00:07:32,200 --> 00:07:35,320 Speaker 1: in your body. Now, I'm a nutritionist, so often i'll 141 00:07:35,400 --> 00:07:40,200 Speaker 1: take clients cases and it's very very very common that 142 00:07:40,360 --> 00:07:43,520 Speaker 1: on a physical level, an emotional level, and I'd say 143 00:07:43,600 --> 00:07:46,880 Speaker 1: on a psychological level as well, people do not feel 144 00:07:47,400 --> 00:07:49,040 Speaker 1: at home in their body, or if they do, they 145 00:07:49,040 --> 00:07:51,240 Speaker 1: get little glimmers of it, like you get to feel 146 00:07:51,280 --> 00:07:53,120 Speaker 1: really good for a moment, and then it's almost like 147 00:07:53,160 --> 00:07:56,120 Speaker 1: you lose whatever the essence or the presence of that is. 148 00:07:56,880 --> 00:07:59,440 Speaker 1: Can you share a little bit about what being at 149 00:07:59,440 --> 00:08:01,119 Speaker 1: home in your body means for you? 150 00:08:01,440 --> 00:08:05,040 Speaker 3: Yeah? For me, it's it's that space of comfort and 151 00:08:05,080 --> 00:08:10,760 Speaker 3: contentment where you're not striving for anything. It's that moment 152 00:08:10,840 --> 00:08:13,680 Speaker 3: that we all get there occasionally, and we can get there, 153 00:08:13,720 --> 00:08:15,840 Speaker 3: and it's just that feeling of I don't need to 154 00:08:15,840 --> 00:08:19,920 Speaker 3: be anywhere else but right here. And the great thing 155 00:08:20,000 --> 00:08:22,560 Speaker 3: about and I think what I try and make really 156 00:08:22,600 --> 00:08:24,680 Speaker 3: clear to people is you're not going to stay there 157 00:08:25,040 --> 00:08:27,240 Speaker 3: all the time. It's just like you have, you know, 158 00:08:27,320 --> 00:08:30,360 Speaker 3: in our homes. We can have lovely, wonderful homes, but 159 00:08:30,400 --> 00:08:32,040 Speaker 3: we have to go to work, we have to leave 160 00:08:32,040 --> 00:08:34,000 Speaker 3: the house to go to the grocery store. But it's 161 00:08:34,040 --> 00:08:37,040 Speaker 3: we know our way back, we know we have you know, 162 00:08:37,040 --> 00:08:40,600 Speaker 3: our internal GPS guides us back. And so really what 163 00:08:40,679 --> 00:08:43,760 Speaker 3: I find meditation and mindfulness is it's that GPS that 164 00:08:43,840 --> 00:08:46,040 Speaker 3: is guiding you back home. 165 00:08:46,559 --> 00:08:47,320 Speaker 2: Oh I love it. 166 00:08:47,400 --> 00:08:49,280 Speaker 1: And then I've heard you also aff the back of it. 167 00:08:49,360 --> 00:08:52,600 Speaker 1: Then it's like you're realigned with your value system, because 168 00:08:52,640 --> 00:08:53,960 Speaker 1: if you think about it, when you're kind of in 169 00:08:53,960 --> 00:08:57,440 Speaker 1: that state of like fight or flight, you don't know 170 00:08:57,480 --> 00:08:59,360 Speaker 1: what's going on with the value system, you're kind of 171 00:08:59,360 --> 00:09:02,680 Speaker 1: making choicest a reaction as opposed to being super present 172 00:09:02,720 --> 00:09:03,440 Speaker 1: within yourself. 173 00:09:03,679 --> 00:09:04,359 Speaker 3: Yeah. 174 00:09:04,440 --> 00:09:09,000 Speaker 1: Can you speak a little bit about like alignment to values. 175 00:09:09,240 --> 00:09:10,960 Speaker 3: Yeah. So one of the things I love to do 176 00:09:11,040 --> 00:09:14,760 Speaker 3: with people is to find your vision for what's to come. 177 00:09:15,160 --> 00:09:17,320 Speaker 3: So it's really looking at your life and saying, Okay, 178 00:09:17,400 --> 00:09:19,320 Speaker 3: what are the things that are incredibly important to me, 179 00:09:19,480 --> 00:09:22,920 Speaker 3: What are the things that I stand behind, the things 180 00:09:22,920 --> 00:09:26,040 Speaker 3: that really guide me in my life? And also where 181 00:09:26,040 --> 00:09:27,720 Speaker 3: do I want those things to take me in a 182 00:09:27,760 --> 00:09:30,640 Speaker 3: perfect world? Where do I want to be? And once 183 00:09:30,679 --> 00:09:32,760 Speaker 3: you can get really clear on that, you can know 184 00:09:32,920 --> 00:09:34,440 Speaker 3: these are the things that I love. This is how 185 00:09:34,480 --> 00:09:35,959 Speaker 3: I want to feel, This is how I want to 186 00:09:36,000 --> 00:09:38,040 Speaker 3: show up for myself and for others in the world. 187 00:09:39,000 --> 00:09:43,000 Speaker 3: That becomes the decision maker. And so in all those moments, 188 00:09:43,080 --> 00:09:45,839 Speaker 3: it's just sitting there and saying, Okay, does this get 189 00:09:45,840 --> 00:09:48,600 Speaker 3: me closer to there or further away? And I want 190 00:09:48,600 --> 00:09:50,319 Speaker 3: to do things that are just getting me closer to 191 00:09:50,360 --> 00:09:50,960 Speaker 3: where I want to be. 192 00:09:51,440 --> 00:09:54,760 Speaker 1: I love it. And again, you've just totally simplified something 193 00:09:54,800 --> 00:09:56,320 Speaker 1: where if you often say this. 194 00:09:56,400 --> 00:09:59,880 Speaker 2: One, I'm like, what's your values around something? 195 00:10:00,000 --> 00:10:03,080 Speaker 1: I can feel really overwhelming it And so I love 196 00:10:03,120 --> 00:10:05,600 Speaker 1: that you've brought it back to like that feeling. 197 00:10:05,960 --> 00:10:08,679 Speaker 2: Yeah, Oh it's like, oh, I could talk you about that. 198 00:10:09,520 --> 00:10:10,520 Speaker 2: I have to ask you. 199 00:10:10,720 --> 00:10:13,680 Speaker 1: I'm looking at a beautiful copy of Let It Settle, 200 00:10:14,400 --> 00:10:15,800 Speaker 1: and I'm seeing it in the flesh. I've seen the 201 00:10:15,800 --> 00:10:19,600 Speaker 1: digital copy, but this is very it's beautiful, hardcover book, stunning. 202 00:10:20,200 --> 00:10:22,120 Speaker 2: I have to ask you a little bit about the process. 203 00:10:22,120 --> 00:10:24,080 Speaker 2: I did someone give you a call or did you 204 00:10:24,120 --> 00:10:26,559 Speaker 2: pitch it out? Like, talk to me. I love the 205 00:10:26,600 --> 00:10:28,440 Speaker 2: behind the scenes of stuff like this. 206 00:10:28,440 --> 00:10:31,960 Speaker 3: This really was this period of my life where things 207 00:10:31,960 --> 00:10:35,000 Speaker 3: were just coming into my life at such a fast pace. 208 00:10:35,880 --> 00:10:38,520 Speaker 3: And so social media had started to take off, and 209 00:10:38,559 --> 00:10:41,760 Speaker 3: it had, you know, started getting me a few one 210 00:10:41,800 --> 00:10:46,640 Speaker 3: hundred thousand followers, and a publisher from Wiley Publishing just 211 00:10:46,720 --> 00:10:49,199 Speaker 3: reached out called email and was like, would you ever 212 00:10:49,200 --> 00:10:51,560 Speaker 3: be would you ever consider writing a book? We'd love 213 00:10:51,559 --> 00:10:54,840 Speaker 3: to have a conversation with you. And so I had 214 00:10:54,840 --> 00:10:56,959 Speaker 3: the conversation with them and kind of told them about 215 00:10:57,040 --> 00:10:59,240 Speaker 3: who I was and what I was doing with my life, 216 00:10:59,440 --> 00:11:03,400 Speaker 3: and they said, okay, well we want you to, you know, 217 00:11:03,440 --> 00:11:05,440 Speaker 3: put together a proposal and you know, and we'll look 218 00:11:05,480 --> 00:11:09,560 Speaker 3: at it. And then about six hours later they called 219 00:11:09,600 --> 00:11:12,600 Speaker 3: back and they were like, skip the proposal. We're going 220 00:11:12,679 --> 00:11:14,800 Speaker 3: to send you a contract right now. We just want 221 00:11:14,800 --> 00:11:16,880 Speaker 3: to publish this. We want this out in the world. 222 00:11:17,960 --> 00:11:20,839 Speaker 3: I know. It was it was just one of those 223 00:11:20,880 --> 00:11:24,920 Speaker 3: meant to be moments, and so they literally said to me, 224 00:11:24,960 --> 00:11:27,360 Speaker 3: write whatever you want to write, Just whatever it is 225 00:11:27,360 --> 00:11:29,679 Speaker 3: that you feel the world needs is what we're going 226 00:11:29,679 --> 00:11:32,280 Speaker 3: to publish for you. And it was just this freedom 227 00:11:32,360 --> 00:11:36,560 Speaker 3: of I just got to stand so scary. 228 00:11:36,920 --> 00:11:37,920 Speaker 2: That you've admitted that. 229 00:11:38,000 --> 00:11:41,600 Speaker 1: At the same time, Yeah, so how did you feel like? 230 00:11:41,640 --> 00:11:43,040 Speaker 1: Did it feel like overwhelming? 231 00:11:43,080 --> 00:11:43,560 Speaker 2: At first? 232 00:11:44,000 --> 00:11:46,840 Speaker 3: It felt really overwhelming. The timeline was very short. The 233 00:11:46,880 --> 00:11:49,040 Speaker 3: timeline was we're going to do this in five months, 234 00:11:49,400 --> 00:11:53,120 Speaker 3: and I and so from from like concept to to 235 00:11:53,160 --> 00:11:56,120 Speaker 3: finish and five months felt so overwhelming that I actually 236 00:11:56,320 --> 00:11:58,560 Speaker 3: had a bit of a freak out. And it was 237 00:11:58,760 --> 00:12:00,760 Speaker 3: I had to really set a boundary there with them 238 00:12:00,800 --> 00:12:03,200 Speaker 3: and say, I know we have a contract, and I 239 00:12:03,200 --> 00:12:05,840 Speaker 3: know we have this. I had just signed a network 240 00:12:05,880 --> 00:12:08,480 Speaker 3: podcast deal and was moving forward with that, and I 241 00:12:08,559 --> 00:12:11,120 Speaker 3: just said, if we want this to be as impactful 242 00:12:11,160 --> 00:12:13,880 Speaker 3: as it can be, we need to push it back. 243 00:12:14,040 --> 00:12:15,640 Speaker 3: And so they did. They allowed for me to push 244 00:12:15,640 --> 00:12:19,480 Speaker 3: it back. They did say, great, we're going to push 245 00:12:19,480 --> 00:12:23,040 Speaker 3: it back nine months. However, because we're doing that, we 246 00:12:23,080 --> 00:12:25,959 Speaker 3: want you to do a guided journal to go along 247 00:12:26,000 --> 00:12:26,320 Speaker 3: with it. 248 00:12:26,440 --> 00:12:28,360 Speaker 2: How good does this The journal looks amazing? 249 00:12:28,480 --> 00:12:32,280 Speaker 3: Yeah, so that's coming out a few months later, yes, right, Yeah, 250 00:12:32,360 --> 00:12:34,480 Speaker 3: And so it gave me the time to really invest 251 00:12:34,720 --> 00:12:37,720 Speaker 3: in this and really figure out what I wanted to say, 252 00:12:37,800 --> 00:12:40,000 Speaker 3: how I wanted to say it, and then also have 253 00:12:40,040 --> 00:12:41,800 Speaker 3: the guided journal which is going to go along. 254 00:12:41,600 --> 00:12:45,120 Speaker 1: With it, so perfect, perfectly time for Christmas. I love 255 00:12:45,160 --> 00:12:51,160 Speaker 1: their marketing brands. So was it five months from signing 256 00:12:51,160 --> 00:12:53,960 Speaker 1: a contract to sending a final manuscript? Or was it 257 00:12:54,000 --> 00:12:56,720 Speaker 1: five months of signing contract to seeing like first pages 258 00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:57,680 Speaker 1: or holding in your. 259 00:12:57,559 --> 00:13:01,320 Speaker 3: Hand to finalizing the manuscript? Was five months? And that 260 00:13:01,400 --> 00:13:03,599 Speaker 3: was Yeah, it was a lot. I'd never written a 261 00:13:03,600 --> 00:13:08,680 Speaker 3: book before, and I'm so glad that I didn't push 262 00:13:08,800 --> 00:13:11,880 Speaker 3: myself to do it. You know, there's there's so much 263 00:13:11,880 --> 00:13:14,240 Speaker 3: of us as this driven to succeed, and it's like, 264 00:13:14,800 --> 00:13:17,640 Speaker 3: you know, there's only one opportunity in life, and to 265 00:13:17,720 --> 00:13:20,120 Speaker 3: say like and in that moment, I did have that 266 00:13:20,160 --> 00:13:22,480 Speaker 3: moment where I said, if we need to walk away 267 00:13:22,520 --> 00:13:25,920 Speaker 3: from this, I'm okay with that. Yeah, because I knew 268 00:13:25,920 --> 00:13:28,439 Speaker 3: that I wanted to do something that was actually going 269 00:13:28,480 --> 00:13:31,440 Speaker 3: to be thought out and meaningful, and I just wasn't 270 00:13:31,440 --> 00:13:33,640 Speaker 3: able to do it in that period of time. And 271 00:13:33,679 --> 00:13:37,920 Speaker 3: so yeah, and luckily they were totally on board and 272 00:13:37,960 --> 00:13:39,600 Speaker 3: lovely and wonderful. 273 00:13:40,000 --> 00:13:43,040 Speaker 1: I love that you mentioned like that you were so 274 00:13:43,160 --> 00:13:45,079 Speaker 1: willing to let it go in that moment as well. 275 00:13:45,080 --> 00:13:49,320 Speaker 2: I imagine that was like not necessarily even a penny 276 00:13:49,360 --> 00:13:50,679 Speaker 2: drop moment, but a moment. 277 00:13:50,360 --> 00:13:53,520 Speaker 1: Where you would have felt quite free in that decision 278 00:13:53,520 --> 00:13:56,560 Speaker 1: and like sticking to that really clear and just honest 279 00:13:56,600 --> 00:13:58,880 Speaker 1: boundary really of like, hey, for me to create the 280 00:13:58,880 --> 00:14:03,200 Speaker 1: best thing possible, I need this amount of time. 281 00:14:03,240 --> 00:14:04,520 Speaker 2: And if that doesn't work for. 282 00:14:04,480 --> 00:14:07,840 Speaker 1: You, that's okay too, because I think, and you write 283 00:14:07,840 --> 00:14:11,440 Speaker 1: it beautifully about letting go, and I know you've got 284 00:14:11,480 --> 00:14:14,840 Speaker 1: meditations around, but I do think as humans would live 285 00:14:14,880 --> 00:14:18,280 Speaker 1: in this very materialistic world where letting go of things 286 00:14:18,400 --> 00:14:22,280 Speaker 1: is so flipping hard, My friend, Yes, what are your 287 00:14:22,320 --> 00:14:27,680 Speaker 1: thoughts and feelings around like being comfortable with that art 288 00:14:27,680 --> 00:14:30,200 Speaker 1: of like non attachment and letting go. 289 00:14:30,680 --> 00:14:33,640 Speaker 3: So that was and it's actually because of this, it 290 00:14:34,160 --> 00:14:36,960 Speaker 3: really inspired part of the book, which is un letting Go. Yes, 291 00:14:37,000 --> 00:14:44,200 Speaker 3: And what I realized was it wasn't so much the 292 00:14:45,440 --> 00:14:47,920 Speaker 3: letting go of the book that was hurting as much. 293 00:14:48,120 --> 00:14:50,160 Speaker 3: It was the vision that I had. It was the 294 00:14:50,200 --> 00:14:54,080 Speaker 3: finishing it in five months and having it be published 295 00:14:54,080 --> 00:14:56,400 Speaker 3: and going out there and this full dream that I 296 00:14:56,440 --> 00:14:59,680 Speaker 3: had created, this future that I was living in that 297 00:14:59,760 --> 00:15:02,280 Speaker 3: was no longer going to be a reality. That's what 298 00:15:02,320 --> 00:15:04,400 Speaker 3: I was holding on to. And so when I was 299 00:15:04,400 --> 00:15:06,760 Speaker 3: willing to let go of that future that I had 300 00:15:06,760 --> 00:15:10,000 Speaker 3: crafted and start to craft a new future. It became 301 00:15:10,080 --> 00:15:13,000 Speaker 3: so easy to let go of it because it was 302 00:15:13,200 --> 00:15:15,240 Speaker 3: I was at peace with that. I was at peace 303 00:15:15,320 --> 00:15:17,760 Speaker 3: with the understanding that I was going to create a 304 00:15:17,760 --> 00:15:20,440 Speaker 3: different future that didn't include that, and that didn't exist 305 00:15:20,440 --> 00:15:22,360 Speaker 3: in the world in the first place. It was all 306 00:15:22,480 --> 00:15:23,200 Speaker 3: just in my mind. 307 00:15:24,240 --> 00:15:25,280 Speaker 2: Oh, I love it. 308 00:15:25,960 --> 00:15:30,400 Speaker 1: Slash inspired by it because it's so interesting to like 309 00:15:31,840 --> 00:15:36,560 Speaker 1: it logically be able to understand what you've just said, 310 00:15:36,640 --> 00:15:40,080 Speaker 1: it's a whole nother ballgame, and to practice that, which is. 311 00:15:40,040 --> 00:15:41,720 Speaker 2: Obviously a testament to you. 312 00:15:41,680 --> 00:15:45,040 Speaker 1: And and everything you live and breathe on a daily 313 00:15:45,680 --> 00:15:50,360 Speaker 1: But to the listener, how like is there and I 314 00:15:50,440 --> 00:15:53,880 Speaker 1: know you've got videos and content all around this is 315 00:15:53,880 --> 00:16:00,000 Speaker 1: there like a little simple or straightforward way to practice 316 00:16:00,320 --> 00:16:01,280 Speaker 1: the aught of letting go. 317 00:16:03,360 --> 00:16:06,080 Speaker 3: So the process that I like to walk people through 318 00:16:06,200 --> 00:16:07,920 Speaker 3: is to look at it in a few different ways. 319 00:16:08,320 --> 00:16:10,880 Speaker 3: Is to first look at as we were talking about 320 00:16:11,280 --> 00:16:13,040 Speaker 3: that vision of the future that we had crafted for 321 00:16:13,080 --> 00:16:15,720 Speaker 3: ourselves that we're attached to, and so you know, if 322 00:16:15,720 --> 00:16:19,160 Speaker 3: we're to put this through the lens of a relationship 323 00:16:19,200 --> 00:16:22,120 Speaker 3: that we were in, you create a future with that person. 324 00:16:22,520 --> 00:16:24,520 Speaker 3: You know, you know where you're going to retire, you 325 00:16:24,520 --> 00:16:25,840 Speaker 3: know what your kids are going to look like, You 326 00:16:25,880 --> 00:16:28,640 Speaker 3: have all of that. And so first it's allowing for 327 00:16:28,680 --> 00:16:31,440 Speaker 3: yourself to mourn that. It's a death in itself, saying 328 00:16:31,480 --> 00:16:34,080 Speaker 3: goodbye to that. Even though it hasn't existed, you have 329 00:16:34,200 --> 00:16:36,440 Speaker 3: lived it within your mind. Yeah, and so you have 330 00:16:36,480 --> 00:16:40,200 Speaker 3: to be able to process and grieve, letting go of that. 331 00:16:41,360 --> 00:16:44,400 Speaker 3: And once you allow for yourself to be okay with 332 00:16:44,520 --> 00:16:46,880 Speaker 3: knowing that you're mourning that, then it's time for you 333 00:16:46,920 --> 00:16:49,320 Speaker 3: to start to craft that new vision. And so it's 334 00:16:49,360 --> 00:16:52,000 Speaker 3: looking at things. And what I have clients do is 335 00:16:52,040 --> 00:16:54,760 Speaker 3: I have them look at you know, look at your career, 336 00:16:54,760 --> 00:16:58,280 Speaker 3: look at your family connections, look at your financial situation, 337 00:16:58,480 --> 00:17:01,800 Speaker 3: look at all of the different areas of life. What 338 00:17:01,840 --> 00:17:05,359 Speaker 3: did that vision represent for you? And of that, what 339 00:17:05,400 --> 00:17:08,320 Speaker 3: do you actually want to still keep? What is important 340 00:17:08,359 --> 00:17:10,760 Speaker 3: for you to keep from that? So, although it may 341 00:17:10,800 --> 00:17:13,080 Speaker 3: not be your husband or your boyfriend, who is going 342 00:17:13,119 --> 00:17:15,720 Speaker 3: to be in your life in terms of the love 343 00:17:15,760 --> 00:17:19,640 Speaker 3: and relationship, what does that relationship look like? And then 344 00:17:19,680 --> 00:17:21,880 Speaker 3: looking at once you have that, so you can start 345 00:17:21,880 --> 00:17:24,440 Speaker 3: to craft that vision. I like to take people back 346 00:17:24,480 --> 00:17:27,800 Speaker 3: to who they were as kids and really think about 347 00:17:27,880 --> 00:17:32,439 Speaker 3: before any of this existed, before the story that you lived, 348 00:17:32,119 --> 00:17:35,240 Speaker 3: what did that little kid want? You know, what does 349 00:17:35,280 --> 00:17:38,160 Speaker 3: she want? And then from there, what do you want 350 00:17:38,160 --> 00:17:40,600 Speaker 3: to steal from that? And so you take what you 351 00:17:40,640 --> 00:17:42,920 Speaker 3: wanted as a child, you take what you wanted as 352 00:17:42,960 --> 00:17:46,160 Speaker 3: your adults, itself in the future, and then you can 353 00:17:46,160 --> 00:17:48,840 Speaker 3: start to say, Okay, knowing who I am, now, what 354 00:17:49,000 --> 00:17:50,480 Speaker 3: is the future that I actually want to build? 355 00:17:50,880 --> 00:17:55,720 Speaker 1: I love that that's completely that doesn't feel too scary. 356 00:17:56,119 --> 00:17:59,399 Speaker 1: I do think we're also we live in a world 357 00:17:59,440 --> 00:18:04,040 Speaker 1: where we're very afraid of grief and mourning and we 358 00:18:04,080 --> 00:18:06,639 Speaker 1: want to quickly replace that whatever it is. 359 00:18:06,680 --> 00:18:10,040 Speaker 2: We don't want to feel that. It's because I find. 360 00:18:11,560 --> 00:18:14,200 Speaker 1: Often with grief there's like a little little chunky ego 361 00:18:14,320 --> 00:18:17,040 Speaker 1: that can die as well. That might be like protecting 362 00:18:17,080 --> 00:18:20,080 Speaker 1: you from wanting to sit in that grief and obviously, 363 00:18:20,119 --> 00:18:23,760 Speaker 1: like until you sit in the grip, like it's obviously. 364 00:18:23,800 --> 00:18:26,840 Speaker 2: Not always going to be fun, let's be real, but 365 00:18:27,080 --> 00:18:27,880 Speaker 2: usually when you do. 366 00:18:27,840 --> 00:18:29,520 Speaker 1: Come out that other side, and that's what I'm so 367 00:18:29,560 --> 00:18:33,000 Speaker 1: happy you mentioned, like take the time to mourn and process, 368 00:18:33,119 --> 00:18:36,320 Speaker 1: because you don't get to ever skip that bit, and 369 00:18:37,359 --> 00:18:42,359 Speaker 1: I think talking about that and normalizing that it's really 370 00:18:42,400 --> 00:18:44,520 Speaker 1: normal if you let go of something, or if you 371 00:18:44,600 --> 00:18:47,680 Speaker 1: have to lose something, or something doesn't work out, your 372 00:18:47,760 --> 00:18:49,920 Speaker 1: dream career doesn't work out exactly the way you wanted 373 00:18:49,960 --> 00:18:51,639 Speaker 1: it. It might even be a million times better, but you 374 00:18:51,760 --> 00:18:56,240 Speaker 1: still got to sit with that loss of that vision 375 00:18:56,320 --> 00:18:58,399 Speaker 1: that you thought was going to. 376 00:18:58,400 --> 00:19:03,199 Speaker 2: Come to life. And I love that you have just 377 00:19:03,280 --> 00:19:03,680 Speaker 2: kind of. 378 00:19:03,640 --> 00:19:06,840 Speaker 1: Like made it okay to mourn and grieve. I think 379 00:19:06,880 --> 00:19:08,600 Speaker 1: it's such an important part of it because when you 380 00:19:08,600 --> 00:19:12,080 Speaker 1: move through it, the lightness and the clarity that comes 381 00:19:12,080 --> 00:19:14,480 Speaker 1: on the other side of that, and then I'm sure 382 00:19:14,520 --> 00:19:16,639 Speaker 1: you would be a million times clearer to then re 383 00:19:17,320 --> 00:19:20,560 Speaker 1: envision and to get really clear on the value, how 384 00:19:20,600 --> 00:19:21,760 Speaker 1: you want it to look, how you. 385 00:19:21,720 --> 00:19:24,280 Speaker 2: Want it to feel. Oh my goodness, I could talk 386 00:19:24,280 --> 00:19:25,840 Speaker 2: to you all day long about this. I love it. 387 00:19:26,200 --> 00:19:29,760 Speaker 1: I went I went through your book and I was like, 388 00:19:29,880 --> 00:19:31,720 Speaker 1: oh my god, We've got to talk about facing fear. 389 00:19:31,920 --> 00:19:35,879 Speaker 1: You literally have a whole chunk on facing fear. 390 00:19:36,359 --> 00:19:40,040 Speaker 2: Can you? And fear is something that with this podcast. 391 00:19:40,040 --> 00:19:42,359 Speaker 1: This podcast is called Fearlessly Failing, and it started in 392 00:19:42,400 --> 00:19:46,200 Speaker 1: Australia and a lot of guests when I first launched 393 00:19:46,240 --> 00:19:48,560 Speaker 1: were like, oh, no, we're not We're not going to 394 00:19:48,600 --> 00:19:52,840 Speaker 1: talk about fear and failure. That's negative, and I'm like, no, 395 00:19:53,119 --> 00:19:57,400 Speaker 1: it's a beautiful opportunity to learn and grow and like 396 00:19:58,680 --> 00:20:01,719 Speaker 1: be expensive because you're in a discomfort, you know, And 397 00:20:01,760 --> 00:20:04,320 Speaker 1: so I want to know how you feel about facing 398 00:20:04,600 --> 00:20:06,120 Speaker 1: fear and how you share it in the book. 399 00:20:06,480 --> 00:20:09,679 Speaker 3: Yeah, So a lot of a lot of what I 400 00:20:09,720 --> 00:20:11,720 Speaker 3: talk about in the chapters and here is about the 401 00:20:11,720 --> 00:20:15,760 Speaker 3: physical sensations that come in the face of fear, because oftentimes, 402 00:20:16,680 --> 00:20:20,280 Speaker 3: and how I present it is that oftentimes the things 403 00:20:20,320 --> 00:20:23,000 Speaker 3: that we fear are also the things that are most 404 00:20:23,000 --> 00:20:26,119 Speaker 3: important and most meaningful to us. And so we put 405 00:20:26,280 --> 00:20:31,120 Speaker 3: boundaries and we put briers barriers in place because it's meaningful, 406 00:20:31,160 --> 00:20:34,560 Speaker 3: it's important, and it's scary. It can be incredibly scary 407 00:20:34,560 --> 00:20:37,560 Speaker 3: to be at the precipice of something real that's going 408 00:20:37,600 --> 00:20:42,600 Speaker 3: to happen. And so there's that version of fear and 409 00:20:42,680 --> 00:20:44,640 Speaker 3: there and then there's the version of fear where it's 410 00:20:44,840 --> 00:20:47,520 Speaker 3: just you're scared of whatever is in front of you 411 00:20:47,640 --> 00:20:51,680 Speaker 3: because you are physically fear, physically in danger, whatever it is. 412 00:20:52,200 --> 00:20:55,560 Speaker 3: But the embodiment is the same, and so it's really 413 00:20:55,600 --> 00:20:58,480 Speaker 3: getting clear on how is fear showing up physically for you? 414 00:20:59,040 --> 00:21:03,440 Speaker 3: And so through meditation, through mindfulness, connecting with the body, 415 00:21:03,440 --> 00:21:06,159 Speaker 3: and first just connecting with the body scan and what 416 00:21:06,240 --> 00:21:07,760 Speaker 3: I love to ask clients is just where do you 417 00:21:07,760 --> 00:21:11,399 Speaker 3: feel this? Where is that fear manifesting right now? You know? 418 00:21:11,800 --> 00:21:13,560 Speaker 3: Is it in your chest? Is it that your heart 419 00:21:13,600 --> 00:21:16,119 Speaker 3: is beating really fast? Is it that your your stomach 420 00:21:16,240 --> 00:21:20,080 Speaker 3: is clenched. Once you can start to connect to the 421 00:21:20,080 --> 00:21:22,840 Speaker 3: body and the physical manifestation of fear and start to 422 00:21:22,880 --> 00:21:26,479 Speaker 3: alleviate that, then you can come and start to say, Okay, 423 00:21:27,280 --> 00:21:28,879 Speaker 3: in the face of this fear, what is it that 424 00:21:28,920 --> 00:21:33,800 Speaker 3: I actually want to do? Because our emotions create impulses 425 00:21:33,800 --> 00:21:37,479 Speaker 3: to action, So we have these impulses it's I'm scared, 426 00:21:37,480 --> 00:21:39,600 Speaker 3: so I want to run. I'm scared, so I want 427 00:21:39,640 --> 00:21:42,639 Speaker 3: to fight whatever it is, and those may not always 428 00:21:42,640 --> 00:21:44,600 Speaker 3: be in our best interest totally. 429 00:21:44,640 --> 00:21:47,440 Speaker 1: It's from back primal days, right when cyber truth Tigers 430 00:21:47,440 --> 00:21:51,320 Speaker 1: were after it was like we've got to live through 431 00:21:51,880 --> 00:21:55,720 Speaker 1: whereas we're in a world where that doesn't exist in. 432 00:21:55,720 --> 00:21:57,040 Speaker 2: The same way anymore. 433 00:21:57,720 --> 00:22:01,040 Speaker 1: I am a trained actor and often obviously a lot 434 00:22:01,160 --> 00:22:04,520 Speaker 1: you would know this for a musical theater. That excitement 435 00:22:04,600 --> 00:22:07,360 Speaker 1: can manifest in the body the same way as anxiety 436 00:22:08,160 --> 00:22:11,560 Speaker 1: and nerves, and it's so fascinating when you know, and 437 00:22:11,640 --> 00:22:14,159 Speaker 1: quite empowering to be like, hang on a sec I 438 00:22:14,240 --> 00:22:17,080 Speaker 1: might need to reframe what I'm thinking as opposed to 439 00:22:17,080 --> 00:22:18,440 Speaker 1: being Oh, I'm really anxious about. 440 00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:19,800 Speaker 2: This audition, or I'm really anxious. 441 00:22:19,440 --> 00:22:21,639 Speaker 1: About what I have to do next, or I know 442 00:22:21,680 --> 00:22:24,200 Speaker 1: you've got a whole day of press ahead of you, to. 443 00:22:24,240 --> 00:22:26,359 Speaker 2: Like, actually, this is really exciting. How cool that. 444 00:22:26,440 --> 00:22:28,520 Speaker 1: I get to do And I know you're an introvert 445 00:22:28,560 --> 00:22:31,360 Speaker 1: as well, but how cool that you get to meet 446 00:22:31,359 --> 00:22:33,080 Speaker 1: all these new people and do all these things. 447 00:22:33,080 --> 00:22:37,000 Speaker 2: Like that's also empowering when you have the ability to 448 00:22:39,040 --> 00:22:42,240 Speaker 2: I guess and correct me if I'm saying this wrong. Please, 449 00:22:42,280 --> 00:22:45,880 Speaker 2: I'm here to learn. But I almost feel like it's 450 00:22:46,359 --> 00:22:49,360 Speaker 2: the knowledge of like, oh, this feels. 451 00:22:49,080 --> 00:22:55,080 Speaker 1: Really scary right now, but I'm also really really excited, 452 00:22:55,920 --> 00:22:58,400 Speaker 1: And it's okay to feel those things at the same time. 453 00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:01,320 Speaker 3: I imagine, absolutely, yeah, it's okay to feel both of 454 00:23:01,320 --> 00:23:03,520 Speaker 3: those at the same time, have both emotions at the 455 00:23:03,560 --> 00:23:07,879 Speaker 3: same time, and at its core, It's about figuring out 456 00:23:08,440 --> 00:23:11,040 Speaker 3: what is the what is the decision that you want 457 00:23:11,119 --> 00:23:13,639 Speaker 3: to make that leads you towards where you want to be. 458 00:23:15,119 --> 00:23:17,800 Speaker 2: Oh, I love that. 459 00:23:18,080 --> 00:23:21,600 Speaker 1: Yeah, I feel like that takes grounding a sense of 460 00:23:21,640 --> 00:23:26,280 Speaker 1: calm because you know, you know how unruly our emotions 461 00:23:26,280 --> 00:23:29,440 Speaker 1: can be, like when we're in that fight or flight 462 00:23:29,520 --> 00:23:32,840 Speaker 1: that you touched on. I feel like talking to you, 463 00:23:32,920 --> 00:23:37,399 Speaker 1: like I already feel calm already, but I think you 464 00:23:37,480 --> 00:23:40,160 Speaker 1: are a rarity. Like obviously you sit and come from 465 00:23:40,160 --> 00:23:45,720 Speaker 1: this place of presence and groundedness and calmness where recording 466 00:23:45,720 --> 00:23:49,040 Speaker 1: this on beautiful Sunset Boulevard in Los Angeles where. 467 00:23:48,800 --> 00:23:53,040 Speaker 2: It's gridlock traffic out there, and it's the energy is 468 00:23:55,080 --> 00:23:56,359 Speaker 2: a lot some days. 469 00:23:56,480 --> 00:23:58,800 Speaker 1: And so like, I guess I love the way that 470 00:23:58,840 --> 00:24:01,200 Speaker 1: you talk about like daily habits. 471 00:24:00,760 --> 00:24:03,880 Speaker 2: To like come and to ground. 472 00:24:03,400 --> 00:24:07,040 Speaker 1: And to Can you share a couple of your daily 473 00:24:07,119 --> 00:24:08,359 Speaker 1: rituals or daily habits. 474 00:24:08,480 --> 00:24:13,239 Speaker 3: Yeah, So daily practice of mindfulness is the most important thing, 475 00:24:13,240 --> 00:24:15,879 Speaker 3: is the thing that I start with. So I'm not 476 00:24:15,920 --> 00:24:20,000 Speaker 3: a huge proponent of a seventeen hour morning meditation and 477 00:24:20,080 --> 00:24:22,439 Speaker 3: like you know, sit there for hours and hours and hours, 478 00:24:22,920 --> 00:24:25,159 Speaker 3: but it's just every morning I wake up and I 479 00:24:25,200 --> 00:24:28,320 Speaker 3: do the same thing. I sit there and I just 480 00:24:28,400 --> 00:24:31,680 Speaker 3: check in with myself and I check in with my breath, 481 00:24:31,960 --> 00:24:34,440 Speaker 3: so just feeling in hell and excel through my nose, 482 00:24:34,920 --> 00:24:36,800 Speaker 3: through my mouth. So I do the four point breathing 483 00:24:36,800 --> 00:24:39,240 Speaker 3: meditation which is in the book, So just breathing in 484 00:24:39,280 --> 00:24:41,679 Speaker 3: and out through my nose and then drawing awareness to 485 00:24:42,000 --> 00:24:45,119 Speaker 3: feeling that breath entering to the chest, feeling the breath 486 00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:48,760 Speaker 3: enter into the belly, and then noticing the openness of 487 00:24:48,800 --> 00:24:52,760 Speaker 3: space around and feeling the breath moving the body into 488 00:24:52,760 --> 00:24:56,159 Speaker 3: the openness of space. So it's just that full awareness 489 00:24:56,160 --> 00:24:58,560 Speaker 3: of the breath is here. It cannot be in the future, 490 00:24:58,640 --> 00:25:01,200 Speaker 3: it cannot be in the past, present to that breath. 491 00:25:01,880 --> 00:25:05,160 Speaker 3: So that's just daily practice of mindfulness there and then 492 00:25:05,160 --> 00:25:07,040 Speaker 3: from there, I just check in with the body and 493 00:25:07,040 --> 00:25:09,480 Speaker 3: do a body scan, so not trying to fix or 494 00:25:09,560 --> 00:25:11,760 Speaker 3: change anything, but having an awareness of the body. So 495 00:25:11,800 --> 00:25:13,399 Speaker 3: from the top of the head down to the toes, 496 00:25:13,640 --> 00:25:16,720 Speaker 3: how am I feeling today? And then I simply check 497 00:25:16,720 --> 00:25:18,720 Speaker 3: in with my heart and the one question I ask 498 00:25:18,960 --> 00:25:23,280 Speaker 3: is what do I need today? And then that sets 499 00:25:23,320 --> 00:25:26,720 Speaker 3: the intention for how can I And that's you know, 500 00:25:26,720 --> 00:25:30,800 Speaker 3: we're in self care Awareness Month, which is self care 501 00:25:30,840 --> 00:25:36,879 Speaker 3: for me, is really identifying your needs and giving yourself 502 00:25:36,880 --> 00:25:40,159 Speaker 3: the gift of having those needs met, so either by 503 00:25:40,200 --> 00:25:44,360 Speaker 3: yourself or enlisting others to help you. And so it's 504 00:25:44,400 --> 00:25:46,600 Speaker 3: really just that what do I need today? Do I 505 00:25:46,680 --> 00:25:49,359 Speaker 3: need a little bit of a break today? Am I 506 00:25:49,440 --> 00:25:51,840 Speaker 3: feeling really tense today? And I need to go on 507 00:25:51,880 --> 00:25:55,320 Speaker 3: a run? Do I need to have a really difficult conversation? 508 00:25:56,000 --> 00:25:58,399 Speaker 3: You know? It's just what do I need today? Oh? 509 00:25:58,440 --> 00:26:00,320 Speaker 2: I love it said that. 510 00:26:00,359 --> 00:26:02,000 Speaker 1: I was like, fun, I need a bit of fun, 511 00:26:02,000 --> 00:26:03,639 Speaker 1: And like, you know, when you bring that like joy 512 00:26:03,680 --> 00:26:06,600 Speaker 1: and playfulness back in I think as well, living in 513 00:26:06,640 --> 00:26:10,159 Speaker 1: a very fast paced wheld in Australia has like a 514 00:26:10,160 --> 00:26:12,720 Speaker 1: beautiful balance like when we clock off from work. We 515 00:26:12,800 --> 00:26:16,360 Speaker 1: usually clock off from work, but living in Oura, it's 516 00:26:16,400 --> 00:26:19,399 Speaker 1: not like really that and that American kind of like 517 00:26:19,560 --> 00:26:23,560 Speaker 1: work ethic is inspiring in so many ways, but it 518 00:26:23,640 --> 00:26:24,560 Speaker 1: is also like. 519 00:26:26,240 --> 00:26:27,600 Speaker 2: At any cost as well. 520 00:26:27,680 --> 00:26:30,920 Speaker 1: And so I was just saying today to my boyfriend, 521 00:26:30,920 --> 00:26:32,400 Speaker 1: I was like, we got to find our fun back. 522 00:26:32,400 --> 00:26:34,880 Speaker 1: We're going to Universal tomorrow and just having a whole 523 00:26:34,920 --> 00:26:36,960 Speaker 1: day of like Harry Potter World and fun. 524 00:26:37,040 --> 00:26:37,920 Speaker 2: And I think like. 525 00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:42,639 Speaker 1: We underestimate those little things that we can do to 526 00:26:42,760 --> 00:26:47,800 Speaker 1: like give back to ourselves, because I imagine something that 527 00:26:47,840 --> 00:26:50,200 Speaker 1: people come to you with is like burnout as well, 528 00:26:50,240 --> 00:26:52,399 Speaker 1: like stress. Burnout Is that common? 529 00:26:52,760 --> 00:26:56,520 Speaker 3: Yeah, totally, And I think it's that feeling that you 530 00:26:56,640 --> 00:27:01,520 Speaker 3: need to constantly be in action in order to be worthy. Yeah, 531 00:27:01,600 --> 00:27:04,480 Speaker 3: And so that's the huge thing that people just really 532 00:27:04,520 --> 00:27:08,080 Speaker 3: think that their value is attached to their contribution in 533 00:27:08,119 --> 00:27:10,680 Speaker 3: the world. And so how much you know, how much 534 00:27:10,720 --> 00:27:12,520 Speaker 3: I earn or how much I put out, is how 535 00:27:12,560 --> 00:27:16,119 Speaker 3: much I actually deserve. And the truth is, as I 536 00:27:16,320 --> 00:27:20,040 Speaker 3: tell people often, your worth is not valued by your 537 00:27:20,080 --> 00:27:24,040 Speaker 3: deeds or measured by how you show up in the world. 538 00:27:24,760 --> 00:27:27,399 Speaker 3: It's intrinsic that you are worthy because you are on 539 00:27:27,440 --> 00:27:30,360 Speaker 3: this earth. And when you can really truly believe that, 540 00:27:31,240 --> 00:27:32,400 Speaker 3: everything becomes a bonus. 541 00:27:33,400 --> 00:27:36,520 Speaker 2: Oh I love that. I mean, oh my goodness. Okay, 542 00:27:36,640 --> 00:27:39,080 Speaker 2: another thing I have to ask you about. Can you 543 00:27:39,119 --> 00:27:41,240 Speaker 2: teach us what the butterfly huggies? 544 00:27:41,440 --> 00:27:43,280 Speaker 3: Yeah? So this is something that you can do in 545 00:27:43,320 --> 00:27:47,719 Speaker 3: fear as we're talking about connecting with the physical sensations 546 00:27:47,720 --> 00:27:51,199 Speaker 3: there and so this is a somatic practice which is 547 00:27:52,640 --> 00:27:58,040 Speaker 3: uses bilateral stimulation. So Bilateral stimulation is just connecting to 548 00:27:58,640 --> 00:28:00,840 Speaker 3: the different sides of the body. You got it, And 549 00:28:00,880 --> 00:28:03,359 Speaker 3: so it can be done by you know, throwing a 550 00:28:03,400 --> 00:28:05,920 Speaker 3: ball from side to side, from one hand to the other, 551 00:28:06,760 --> 00:28:08,840 Speaker 3: from just connecting to one part of the body to 552 00:28:08,880 --> 00:28:11,359 Speaker 3: the other. I do a lot of meditations which are 553 00:28:11,480 --> 00:28:13,800 Speaker 3: bilateral awareness. So it's we're going to connect to the 554 00:28:13,880 --> 00:28:16,879 Speaker 3: right foot and the left foot, the right knee and 555 00:28:16,920 --> 00:28:19,479 Speaker 3: the left knee, just moving you from side to side. 556 00:28:20,000 --> 00:28:23,160 Speaker 3: But butterfly hug, it's just simply you're taking your hands 557 00:28:23,160 --> 00:28:25,760 Speaker 3: and placing them on your chest with your thumbs overlapping, 558 00:28:26,200 --> 00:28:28,000 Speaker 3: so it's almost it looks like you have a butterfly 559 00:28:28,080 --> 00:28:31,560 Speaker 3: on your chest with your fingers underneath your collarbone. And 560 00:28:31,600 --> 00:28:35,119 Speaker 3: then it's just gently tapping from side to side. So 561 00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:39,360 Speaker 3: it's that gentle connection with yourself that's just stimulating both 562 00:28:39,400 --> 00:28:41,480 Speaker 3: sides of the body and the brain, and it's just 563 00:28:41,520 --> 00:28:43,960 Speaker 3: allowing for your nervous system to start to regulate on 564 00:28:44,000 --> 00:28:47,720 Speaker 3: its own. Oh my goodness, simple, simple and easy thing 565 00:28:47,760 --> 00:28:50,360 Speaker 3: that we can do. That's just allowing for us to 566 00:28:50,640 --> 00:28:51,360 Speaker 3: start to settle. 567 00:28:52,360 --> 00:28:53,000 Speaker 2: I am. 568 00:28:53,120 --> 00:28:55,320 Speaker 1: I'm teaching a yoga class tonight and I'm going to 569 00:28:55,360 --> 00:28:58,120 Speaker 1: dedicate that class to you and do and start the 570 00:28:58,160 --> 00:29:01,440 Speaker 1: class with the butterfly hug I usually started with box 571 00:29:01,480 --> 00:29:05,200 Speaker 1: breathing because it's so nice after everyone's like raced, raced 572 00:29:05,400 --> 00:29:07,960 Speaker 1: across Los Angeles to get to this Yen class, and 573 00:29:08,000 --> 00:29:11,320 Speaker 1: I thought, no, that is We're gonna do butterfly huggs tonight, 574 00:29:11,360 --> 00:29:14,120 Speaker 1: friend all dedicated to you, so you should feel at 575 00:29:14,160 --> 00:29:18,680 Speaker 1: eight pm tonight a big burst of entity. I have 576 00:29:18,760 --> 00:29:22,880 Speaker 1: to I guess, like again, could talk to you all 577 00:29:22,960 --> 00:29:25,120 Speaker 1: flipping day long. You've touched on so many things I 578 00:29:25,160 --> 00:29:29,160 Speaker 1: wanted to talk about, which is body scan because we 579 00:29:29,360 --> 00:29:33,760 Speaker 1: are yep, I want to talk body scanodify four point 580 00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:36,560 Speaker 1: breathing you've done at all, but because we are go 581 00:29:36,560 --> 00:29:37,840 Speaker 1: go go, rush, rush. 582 00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:43,800 Speaker 2: Rush, and our lives don't seem like they slow. 583 00:29:44,120 --> 00:29:47,880 Speaker 1: Very often say you're stuck in a car, and I 584 00:29:47,920 --> 00:29:49,760 Speaker 1: love that you do meditations. 585 00:29:49,840 --> 00:29:51,000 Speaker 2: You're like, listen, if you're in your. 586 00:29:50,920 --> 00:29:55,480 Speaker 1: Car and you're driving and you're running link to a 587 00:29:55,520 --> 00:29:59,720 Speaker 1: meeting or something is there, or you're we're in La audition, 588 00:30:00,160 --> 00:30:02,480 Speaker 1: it's back to real life, which is amazing. But you know, 589 00:30:03,040 --> 00:30:05,400 Speaker 1: forty five minute community either way, you don't a way 590 00:30:05,440 --> 00:30:07,440 Speaker 1: to park. You don't know the area, and you can 591 00:30:07,480 --> 00:30:10,880 Speaker 1: feel the nerves are there already, and then you're like running. 592 00:30:10,640 --> 00:30:12,200 Speaker 2: Late, and da da da da. 593 00:30:12,320 --> 00:30:16,880 Speaker 1: How can we catch ourselves before we spiral? If we're like, 594 00:30:17,840 --> 00:30:20,560 Speaker 1: feel like we don't have the time in the moment 595 00:30:20,800 --> 00:30:23,120 Speaker 1: to ground reconnect and find calm. 596 00:30:23,240 --> 00:30:25,640 Speaker 3: Yeah. So one of the things I love to do 597 00:30:26,000 --> 00:30:31,080 Speaker 3: is the practice of awareness of thought and redirection to 598 00:30:31,120 --> 00:30:34,440 Speaker 3: a present moment. It's basically what meditation mindfulness is all about. 599 00:30:34,640 --> 00:30:37,000 Speaker 3: It's you know, it's not the absence of thought. So 600 00:30:37,080 --> 00:30:39,640 Speaker 3: often we think that meditation has to be I have 601 00:30:39,720 --> 00:30:41,520 Speaker 3: no thoughts and I'm sitting there on a mountain top, 602 00:30:42,200 --> 00:30:45,440 Speaker 3: And really what it is, it's just becoming aware of 603 00:30:45,480 --> 00:30:48,200 Speaker 3: the thoughts that are coming into your mind and then 604 00:30:48,480 --> 00:30:51,760 Speaker 3: making the conscious choice to redirect to a present moment experience. 605 00:30:52,320 --> 00:30:55,360 Speaker 3: And so if you're driving in the car, it's allowing 606 00:30:55,400 --> 00:30:57,800 Speaker 3: for yourself to have those thoughts, allowing for those thoughts 607 00:30:57,840 --> 00:30:59,320 Speaker 3: to kind of drift and Okay, what am I doing? 608 00:30:59,320 --> 00:31:01,800 Speaker 3: What's my grocery list for today? I'm so mad at 609 00:31:01,840 --> 00:31:04,960 Speaker 3: that person, and then becoming aware of the thought. The 610 00:31:05,080 --> 00:31:07,920 Speaker 3: simplest way that you can do this is to once 611 00:31:08,000 --> 00:31:10,760 Speaker 3: you know that you're thinking, just say thought, thought, thought. 612 00:31:12,240 --> 00:31:15,400 Speaker 3: It's so simple, and it's so it feels so stupid, 613 00:31:15,760 --> 00:31:18,720 Speaker 3: but it's really just it's identifying that this is a thought, 614 00:31:18,840 --> 00:31:21,680 Speaker 3: that I'm actually having a thought, and just thought thought, thought, 615 00:31:22,400 --> 00:31:25,800 Speaker 3: and then redirect to either the breath, the body, or 616 00:31:25,840 --> 00:31:29,200 Speaker 3: something that is in your peripheral at that moment. So 617 00:31:29,240 --> 00:31:32,000 Speaker 3: if you're driving, it's okay, there's a red car in 618 00:31:32,000 --> 00:31:36,000 Speaker 3: front of me, the license plate number is this, I'm 619 00:31:36,000 --> 00:31:38,480 Speaker 3: being passed on the side by a black car right now? 620 00:31:38,960 --> 00:31:42,040 Speaker 3: That's mindfulness. Yeah, that's grounding you back into the present moment. 621 00:31:42,560 --> 00:31:43,120 Speaker 2: Ah. 622 00:31:43,160 --> 00:31:45,320 Speaker 3: And then when the mind it inevitably starts wandering again 623 00:31:45,600 --> 00:31:48,720 Speaker 3: thought thought thought, I'm right here and there's a guy. 624 00:31:49,280 --> 00:31:52,560 Speaker 2: Oh my goodness, you've changed my world. I love this. 625 00:31:53,120 --> 00:31:55,480 Speaker 1: I have to ask you if we could look into 626 00:31:55,480 --> 00:31:57,600 Speaker 1: a crystal ball right now, and this might be totally again. 627 00:31:57,640 --> 00:31:59,640 Speaker 1: You're like, no, no, We've just talked about being present and 628 00:31:59,680 --> 00:32:01,040 Speaker 1: mind for the last. 629 00:32:00,920 --> 00:32:01,680 Speaker 2: Thirty five minutes. 630 00:32:01,720 --> 00:32:08,840 Speaker 1: But like, I feel like just from soaking up your 631 00:32:08,920 --> 00:32:13,040 Speaker 1: past to this growth, like the TikTok, the Instagram growth, now, 632 00:32:13,120 --> 00:32:17,360 Speaker 1: the pod deal, the book deal, like holy mac, like 633 00:32:17,720 --> 00:32:20,400 Speaker 1: what it like if we could look into a crystal ball, 634 00:32:20,600 --> 00:32:23,680 Speaker 1: like and if your mo is essentially to help people, 635 00:32:23,760 --> 00:32:27,920 Speaker 1: it feels like, please correct me if I'm wrong. Absolutely, Yeah, 636 00:32:28,440 --> 00:32:31,600 Speaker 1: where do you Where do you see yourself? Like? 637 00:32:31,640 --> 00:32:34,320 Speaker 2: Where if we again? I know it's not presence. 638 00:32:34,320 --> 00:32:36,280 Speaker 1: I know it's not, but like, I still want to know, Like, 639 00:32:36,320 --> 00:32:41,160 Speaker 1: I believe you're a human that has drive, and I 640 00:32:41,280 --> 00:32:44,080 Speaker 1: think you're a very hard working human being as well. 641 00:32:44,920 --> 00:32:47,880 Speaker 2: So yeah, what is the like future look like? 642 00:32:49,280 --> 00:32:53,640 Speaker 3: So I'm really attached to the vision of just continuing 643 00:32:53,680 --> 00:32:56,120 Speaker 3: to hold on to my purpose. And really what I 644 00:32:56,200 --> 00:32:59,120 Speaker 3: find is that purpose all comes down to how do 645 00:32:59,160 --> 00:33:01,600 Speaker 3: I help people find us of calm, How do I 646 00:33:01,640 --> 00:33:04,440 Speaker 3: help them develop a sense of love and kindness for themselves, 647 00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:07,440 Speaker 3: and how do they stay connected to themselves into this world? 648 00:33:08,280 --> 00:33:13,120 Speaker 3: And with that in place, it doesn't matter what I'm doing. 649 00:33:13,560 --> 00:33:16,200 Speaker 3: When I was teaching preschool, I did exactly that same thing, 650 00:33:16,360 --> 00:33:19,959 Speaker 3: and I was so happy when I had one hundred 651 00:33:20,000 --> 00:33:22,440 Speaker 3: followers on Instagram and thought that I was the biggest 652 00:33:22,480 --> 00:33:25,400 Speaker 3: deal in the world that I was doing that. Now 653 00:33:25,440 --> 00:33:28,960 Speaker 3: with almost two million followers, like this is It's okay. 654 00:33:29,080 --> 00:33:31,680 Speaker 3: And so the podcast was an avenue for that. The 655 00:33:31,720 --> 00:33:34,120 Speaker 3: book is now a new avenue for that. And so 656 00:33:34,520 --> 00:33:37,640 Speaker 3: now I'm looking at how do I play and go 657 00:33:37,760 --> 00:33:40,440 Speaker 3: back to what did that kid want? And I'm a 658 00:33:40,480 --> 00:33:44,640 Speaker 3: performer at heart, and I'm a performer, so I'm this 659 00:33:44,840 --> 00:33:47,480 Speaker 3: is I have not told this to anyone, but I'm 660 00:33:47,640 --> 00:33:50,120 Speaker 3: exploring with music and mindfulness right now. And so I'm 661 00:33:50,120 --> 00:33:53,560 Speaker 3: working with a symphony who is going to do We're 662 00:33:53,560 --> 00:33:56,600 Speaker 3: doing a concert at Lincoln Center in November which is 663 00:33:56,880 --> 00:34:00,600 Speaker 3: a fundraiser for mental health and it's it's going to 664 00:34:00,640 --> 00:34:03,080 Speaker 3: be my meditation set to orchestral music. 665 00:34:04,680 --> 00:34:06,400 Speaker 2: I would like all the details for that when it 666 00:34:06,440 --> 00:34:10,000 Speaker 2: comes out, my friend. Please, that's right up, my Ali. 667 00:34:10,120 --> 00:34:13,200 Speaker 1: You write about you do write about the link between 668 00:34:13,280 --> 00:34:15,160 Speaker 1: music and meditation, don't you? 669 00:34:15,239 --> 00:34:17,640 Speaker 3: And mindfulness. That's so important. 670 00:34:17,320 --> 00:34:21,080 Speaker 1: Because also some people have that link more to auditory, right, 671 00:34:21,160 --> 00:34:26,279 Speaker 1: and they respond to like the effect that auditory like 672 00:34:26,880 --> 00:34:31,520 Speaker 1: versus like visual or like kinesthetic and touch. So it 673 00:34:31,600 --> 00:34:35,959 Speaker 1: makes total sense that you again looking forward with splicing 674 00:34:36,040 --> 00:34:40,480 Speaker 1: back that musical theater straight into it. Oh my goodness, 675 00:34:41,480 --> 00:34:44,040 Speaker 1: you are phenomenal, my friend. I could talk to you 676 00:34:44,080 --> 00:34:46,799 Speaker 1: all day long. I hope this book, I know this 677 00:34:46,840 --> 00:34:51,200 Speaker 1: book will absolutely fly to the listener. Let it settle 678 00:34:51,239 --> 00:34:53,160 Speaker 1: is officially out and out will be out by the 679 00:34:53,160 --> 00:34:58,080 Speaker 1: time this pod is alive. And to the aussi's I've 680 00:34:58,080 --> 00:34:59,680 Speaker 1: seen all the links on your website. 681 00:35:00,080 --> 00:35:04,359 Speaker 3: It's on Amazon and Australia you can find that and 682 00:35:04,400 --> 00:35:06,640 Speaker 3: so you can you can go there. But you have 683 00:35:06,680 --> 00:35:10,080 Speaker 3: pretty much any online real real TERBI will have it. 684 00:35:11,160 --> 00:35:13,319 Speaker 3: If they don't have it, just ask them and they 685 00:35:13,360 --> 00:35:15,600 Speaker 3: can order it, or just shoot me an email and 686 00:35:15,600 --> 00:35:17,359 Speaker 3: we'll get the publisher to get it there. 687 00:35:17,560 --> 00:35:20,680 Speaker 1: Oh, thank you so much. You are absolutely wonderful. It's 688 00:35:20,719 --> 00:35:22,319 Speaker 1: been such a joy chatting to. 689 00:35:22,280 --> 00:35:24,520 Speaker 3: You as well. This has been a dream. 690 00:35:25,080 --> 00:35:27,600 Speaker 2: I hope we get to cross paths against too. 691 00:35:29,760 --> 00:35:35,440 Speaker 1: That's a wrap on another episode of Fearlessly Failing. As always, 692 00:35:35,560 --> 00:35:38,920 Speaker 1: thank you to our guests and let's continue the conversation 693 00:35:39,080 --> 00:35:44,560 Speaker 1: on Instagram. I'm at Yamo Lola Berry. This potty my 694 00:35:44,640 --> 00:35:49,479 Speaker 1: word for podcast is available on all streaming platforms. I'd 695 00:35:49,480 --> 00:35:52,520 Speaker 1: love it if you could subscribe, rate and comment and 696 00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:54,359 Speaker 1: of course spread the love.