WEBVTT - FULLSHOW! Once a cheater always a cheater? 💔

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<v Speaker 1>Come on Thursday, everyone.

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<v Speaker 2>Do you know what this is going to sound? So

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<v Speaker 2>woo woo. It's probably the most woo woo.

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<v Speaker 1>Thing I'm ever going to say. I can't wait to

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<v Speaker 1>hear this.

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<v Speaker 2>I put my crystals out last night. No, I'm not okay.

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not someone who's very spiritual.

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<v Speaker 3>You know.

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<v Speaker 4>I don't really believe in meditation and ghosts and signs.

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<v Speaker 5>You know what.

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<v Speaker 1>I believe in breathwork and breathing.

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<v Speaker 4>I do not believe in doctors and I sparks and

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<v Speaker 4>all that.

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<v Speaker 2>I just I just not okay.

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<v Speaker 4>Talking about this is going to sound super crazy now

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<v Speaker 4>that we've established that I don't believe in things that

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<v Speaker 4>are actually real.

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<v Speaker 1>Watch hours, all right?

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<v Speaker 4>Does anyone else ever see reappearing numbers?

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<v Speaker 2>Like repelling numbers over and over right? Every day?

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<v Speaker 4>And I'm talking like ten twenty times a day. I'm

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<v Speaker 4>seeing the numbers one one one or like one zero

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<v Speaker 4>one one.

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<v Speaker 1>Have you your heads?

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<v Speaker 5>You know, I don't believe in nice spars and shit,

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<v Speaker 5>but numbers that reappear, that's fact.

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<v Speaker 2>That is crazy. Guys.

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<v Speaker 4>Apparently they called angel numbers, and apparently it means that

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<v Speaker 4>something big is going to happen in your life.

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<v Speaker 2>The last time I saw them was just before I

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<v Speaker 2>met my husband.

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<v Speaker 1>Where have you seen the numbers everywhere?

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<v Speaker 4>I'm talking, like on the on screens, on number plates.

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<v Speaker 4>I look at the clock and it's one one one,

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<v Speaker 4>Like places.

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<v Speaker 1>Where numbers are clocks, number plates, just calculators everywhere.

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<v Speaker 4>Okay, when I type one one one one into the calculator,

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<v Speaker 4>it appears, guys, you're not taking me seriously.

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<v Speaker 1>You're not well.

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<v Speaker 2>I think some big change is coming. When I type

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<v Speaker 2>in MAT's phone number to do you know what?

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<v Speaker 4>At least Tony our produce, is taking me seriously. You

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<v Speaker 4>guys can all get terrified.

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<v Speaker 2>No, Angel, Okay, we just thought the start was funny.

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<v Speaker 3>We rolled with it.

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<v Speaker 2>Angel, numbers are a thing, are they?

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<v Speaker 1>Thanks for bringing I just trying to support you. Next

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<v Speaker 1>on the show. This is still a start, guys, ask

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<v Speaker 1>guncut is next. Imagine if you go through a shocking

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<v Speaker 1>breakup and your partner goes, I want to come and

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<v Speaker 1>see the dog, our shared dog dog gets in the

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<v Speaker 1>middle of the breakup. That's something that's actually happened.

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<v Speaker 2>Get a new dog. You can't get a new child.

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<v Speaker 1>The dogs. We've got to listener to give some help

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<v Speaker 1>to and advice. You're on the pickup. Welcome back Thursday

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<v Speaker 1>afternoon with Britt, Laura and Mitch. Thanks for being here.

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<v Speaker 1>Right now rushing to Chemists Warehouse to get half price

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<v Speaker 1>off the so Novas vitamin range. It excludes bulk sizes

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<v Speaker 1>Chemists Warehouse, great savings. Every day now it is Thursday.

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<v Speaker 1>You know what we do on Thursday's gals or my favorite?

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<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah?

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<v Speaker 4>So ask gun Cut is something that we do on

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<v Speaker 4>our podcast Life on Cut, and that is where you

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<v Speaker 4>call in and you give us your problems, your dilemmas,

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<v Speaker 4>your deepest, darkest issues, and we do our best to

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<v Speaker 4>answer them.

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<v Speaker 1>We really do try, don't. We got to Oscar to

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<v Speaker 1>do best. I have a punt, Oscar. Are you on

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<v Speaker 1>with this?

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<v Speaker 5>Hi?

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<v Speaker 1>What's your question? What do you need help with?

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<v Speaker 5>Hi?

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<v Speaker 3>Guys? I just have a question. So I was together

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<v Speaker 3>with my man for like five years and like we've

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<v Speaker 3>recently just broken up. And the whole issue is we

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<v Speaker 3>got a dog together. He did pay for the dog

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<v Speaker 3>at the time, but in that space we were together,

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<v Speaker 3>I was the one walking it. I was the one

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<v Speaker 3>feeding it. I would I mean I body chained him

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<v Speaker 3>like I would say something, the one taking care of

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<v Speaker 3>the dog. So in the breakup, I took the dog

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<v Speaker 3>with me because I was like I raised him essentially. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>And now that we've broken up and he things have

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<v Speaker 3>calmed down a little bit. He has this idea that

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<v Speaker 3>he can just come and see our dog whatever he wants. So, like,

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<v Speaker 3>I'll be work and he'll just text me and go, hey,

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<v Speaker 3>I've just picked up the dog. We've gone for a

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<v Speaker 3>walk in cases in case we were not here when

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<v Speaker 3>you come home. I feel a little uncomfortable by this.

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<v Speaker 2>Wait, how does he get into your house? How does

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<v Speaker 2>he just pick the dog up?

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<v Speaker 3>My housemate knows two he is and goes, oh, yeah,

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<v Speaker 3>cool the dogs about that?

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<v Speaker 1>Listen, I've got an interesting take on this. I think

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<v Speaker 1>it's okay if you're okay with it, Oscar, Like if

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<v Speaker 1>you two were at a point where you think you've healed,

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<v Speaker 1>you've gotten over each other, then if it's essentially co parenting.

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<v Speaker 1>But do you feel your on your healing journey? Are

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<v Speaker 1>you over him? Are you still wanting to see him

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<v Speaker 1>that much?

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<v Speaker 3>I mean not particularly, it's still quite fresh. It's been like, well,

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<v Speaker 3>it's been like three or four months since we've broken up,

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<v Speaker 3>and you know, I'm more than happy for him to

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<v Speaker 3>call me and go, hey, I want to see I

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<v Speaker 3>want to see Coco? Can can? Like? Can you drop

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<v Speaker 3>in here?

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<v Speaker 4>Like?

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<v Speaker 3>I'm more than happy for that a bit of communication.

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<v Speaker 3>But do I really need to be okay with him

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<v Speaker 3>turning up to my house and staying hi to my

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<v Speaker 3>housemates and saying, hey, can I can I take Coco

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<v Speaker 3>for a walk? Or can I take him to my place?

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<v Speaker 3>I think without me being there?

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<v Speaker 5>No, you actually you don't have to be especially like

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<v Speaker 5>if you think how long a dog lives for right,

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<v Speaker 5>it could live up for fifteen years.

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<v Speaker 2>It's a kid.

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<v Speaker 5>It's a long time for you to have this shared

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<v Speaker 5>communication and shared custod.

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<v Speaker 4>If you can co parent comfortably and it's not causing

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<v Speaker 4>anyone anguish, then go for it. But co parenting a

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<v Speaker 4>dog just sounds way too hard. The only thing I

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<v Speaker 4>question is if he's only coming when you're not home. So,

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<v Speaker 4>for example, if he's like texting a housemate, if he

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<v Speaker 4>picks a dog up, drops the dog back before you

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<v Speaker 4>get home and you're none the wiser to it, are

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<v Speaker 4>you okay with that level of contact or is it

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<v Speaker 4>more so when he has to message you and then

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<v Speaker 4>it upsets your day.

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I'd be getting the free dog walker if you can.

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<v Speaker 3>Yeah, well that's what I thought. But a couple of

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<v Speaker 3>my friends were telling me that it shouldn't be like,

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<v Speaker 3>it shouldn't be an issue. He should be free to

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<v Speaker 3>come and get his dog. But I just don't know.

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<v Speaker 3>I think it's okay, Like I really think, you know,

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<v Speaker 3>and it's got nothing to do with payment, like I mean,

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<v Speaker 3>I it's the thing, like I'm the one that taught

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<v Speaker 3>it how to do a good old fashioned toilet troops. Like,

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<v Speaker 3>I just feel like that there needs to be some

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<v Speaker 3>kind of communication. He's just not listening to me.

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<v Speaker 1>You should just train it to like shit on his

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<v Speaker 1>leather goods, you know, just like train it to be

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<v Speaker 1>a really spiteful dog. I don't know what's happened to

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<v Speaker 1>Coco's habits, but he's gotten really bad recently.

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<v Speaker 2>He's really acting out in the divorce and in the breakup.

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<v Speaker 2>Keep doing that.

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<v Speaker 1>I hope we can hope you can. We can help

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<v Speaker 1>you there, and co Coke can sleep.

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<v Speaker 4>I couldn't think of anything worse than co parenting a dog.

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<v Speaker 4>Parenting kids is so hard for some people.

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<v Speaker 2>Co Parenting a dog no just get a.

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<v Speaker 5>New dog, parented dogs and I had to give it up.

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<v Speaker 1>Really yeah, you can't do it.

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<v Speaker 2>You cannot do it.

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<v Speaker 4>Only for a period of time. There's always someone still

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<v Speaker 4>hanging on because of the pet.

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<v Speaker 1>Also, it's more than pets. Breakups are heard. I'm still

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<v Speaker 1>fighting over a Smeg blender with my ex.

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<v Speaker 2>Let him have the blender?

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<v Speaker 1>Which wants to blender?

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<v Speaker 2>Are you co parenting the blender?

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<v Speaker 3>Now?

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<v Speaker 1>We're sure? One week gets a Compulse. I get it

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<v Speaker 1>for smoothie mode. Oh, if you want to get in

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<v Speaker 1>touch and if you've got an ask gun kind of

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<v Speaker 1>your own dms at the pick up on Instagram and

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<v Speaker 1>we'll get you on It is the pickup around the country.

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<v Speaker 1>Brit Laura and Mitchell thanks to Chemist Warehouse heading today

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<v Speaker 1>great savings every day. Guys. The time has come. It

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<v Speaker 1>is officially ten years since I graduated at high school.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh you are such a baby. That makes me feel

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<v Speaker 2>like you what makes me feel old?

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<v Speaker 5>You know?

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<v Speaker 4>I received a text message recently twenty year school reunion

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<v Speaker 4>this year.

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<v Speaker 1>Oh my god, see that's exactly what I'm in the

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<v Speaker 1>middle of. I because I was school captain in primary

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<v Speaker 1>school and high school. Thank you. It was a world record,

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<v Speaker 1>and I'm organized somehow, somehow, I've been roped into organizing

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<v Speaker 1>my ten year high school reunion.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh what are you gonna do? Because like, you've got

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<v Speaker 2>to make it good, You've got to impress that. It's

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<v Speaker 2>my worst nightmare.

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<v Speaker 1>I'm so stressed out. Also at the moment, I'm trying

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<v Speaker 1>to wrangle everyone. So we have a Facebook group from

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<v Speaker 1>when we were in school, but I'm trying to wrangle people.

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<v Speaker 1>And then I've even like brought in a lackey like

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<v Speaker 1>the girl that I was friends with in high school,

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<v Speaker 1>Kristin Arthur. I said, Kristen, you're gonna help me organize

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<v Speaker 1>this thing.

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<v Speaker 2>Oh you've you've got a PA for the ten year reunion.

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<v Speaker 1>I've booked myself a PA, and she was willing to oblige.

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<v Speaker 5>Do you think they've only asked you mech seriously, not

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<v Speaker 5>just because you were a captain, but because of your connections?

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<v Speaker 2>Do you reckon? They think it is going to come

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<v Speaker 2>through the good?

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<v Speaker 1>Do throw a wild event?

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe better than a party just at the RSL club?

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<v Speaker 1>Oh yeah, I'll just call guy sebastiity a couple. Anyway,

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<v Speaker 1>Kristen calls me this week and she goes, hey, Mitch,

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<v Speaker 1>where do we stand on inviting people that left school early?

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<v Speaker 1>And I go, that's all right, And she goes, what

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<v Speaker 1>about people that have served time? And I go, people

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<v Speaker 1>that serve time, who've served time, and I won't name them.

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<v Speaker 4>When you have people from your year who ended up

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<v Speaker 4>in prison, they just got released, you have I mean,

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<v Speaker 4>they can still come to the party.

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<v Speaker 1>Stephanie, she went Ken Stephanie smith Cup, I said, she's

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<v Speaker 1>out still, It's exactly right. I want to see where

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<v Speaker 1>she's at the inside and how was prison exactly Although

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<v Speaker 1>you know.

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<v Speaker 4>When you go to like a reunion, the whole point

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<v Speaker 4>of it is kind of you catch up with everyone,

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<v Speaker 4>but you also level up a bit. You're like, what

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<v Speaker 4>are you doing with yourself? And you can't kind to

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<v Speaker 4>figure out where people are ten years on. This poor

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<v Speaker 4>person's like, well, I've been in prison. At least you

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<v Speaker 4>know you're not doing the worst.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, it's also intense that I have to front the

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<v Speaker 1>cost of the deposit because I'm obviously booking the venue

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<v Speaker 1>and it's five and a half grand deposit that I'm

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<v Speaker 1>going to have to pay.

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<v Speaker 2>It's better to have it at the RSEL Club.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, is it irsel are charging that money?

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<v Speaker 5>Nah, I'd have it down at local park, hang some balloons,

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<v Speaker 5>no deposit, like a three year old birthday part. You know.

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<v Speaker 4>I went to my ten year reunion and I really

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<v Speaker 4>love like I love school. I had a great group

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<v Speaker 4>of girlfriends and I wasn't in contact with a lot

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<v Speaker 4>of people, but I still had my close little knitter friends.

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<v Speaker 2>So we went to this reunion and there was a.

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<v Speaker 4>Girl there who had bullied me so bad in school,

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<v Speaker 4>like so bad, except after we finished school, I hooked

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<v Speaker 4>up with her brother. And now I know that she

0:09:45.920 --> 0:09:48.400
<v Speaker 4>didn't know about this and it would have absolutely killed her.

0:09:48.720 --> 0:09:51.320
<v Speaker 4>So I played the long game. Guys, ten years after

0:09:51.360 --> 0:09:54.600
<v Speaker 4>finishing school, I told her, so good to see you.

0:09:54.800 --> 0:09:57.199
<v Speaker 4>Guess what happened after school? I hooked up with your

0:09:57.200 --> 0:10:00.600
<v Speaker 4>brother and I could see the rage in her and

0:10:00.640 --> 0:10:02.520
<v Speaker 4>it just felt so good. Even though I was in

0:10:02.559 --> 0:10:04.880
<v Speaker 4>my late twenties, I was like, yeah, I won this round.

0:10:05.280 --> 0:10:10.120
<v Speaker 5>People just don't move on, do theyllys? You know what?

0:10:10.240 --> 0:10:12.839
<v Speaker 4>Her brother was pretty hot, though, to be fair, I

0:10:12.840 --> 0:10:16.520
<v Speaker 4>should hope. So anyway, I didn't just do it to

0:10:16.520 --> 0:10:17.200
<v Speaker 4>get back it up.

0:10:17.200 --> 0:10:19.640
<v Speaker 1>I did also because I fancy, So can we confirm

0:10:19.679 --> 0:10:22.080
<v Speaker 1>your tip for me to organize my tenue reunions to

0:10:22.120 --> 0:10:23.959
<v Speaker 1>sleep with one of my classmates, but.

0:10:24.160 --> 0:10:27.959
<v Speaker 4>To sleep with someone down a bone your bullies brother.

0:10:28.200 --> 0:10:30.120
<v Speaker 4>It literally would work in the same way does bone

0:10:30.120 --> 0:10:32.440
<v Speaker 4>your bullies brother? Go in and then tell them and then.

0:10:32.360 --> 0:10:34.880
<v Speaker 2>See them squirm? All right, can't give them details as well?

0:10:34.880 --> 0:10:35.680
<v Speaker 1>Happy ten years.

0:10:36.559 --> 0:10:37.840
<v Speaker 2>I mean I feel sorry for you.

0:10:37.880 --> 0:10:39.959
<v Speaker 5>I would never want to organize this. I don't think

0:10:39.960 --> 0:10:41.480
<v Speaker 5>it's cool that you have to put the deposit on,

0:10:41.520 --> 0:10:43.440
<v Speaker 5>because then what happens you put your five grand down?

0:10:44.080 --> 0:10:45.240
<v Speaker 2>Everyone's going to pull out.

0:10:45.280 --> 0:10:47.000
<v Speaker 5>I promise you. People are not going to turn up

0:10:47.040 --> 0:10:49.319
<v Speaker 5>and you're going to be fronted with a cost. Yeah

0:10:49.360 --> 0:10:51.079
<v Speaker 5>you will, but you did bone your bullies.

0:10:50.840 --> 0:10:55.480
<v Speaker 1>Brothers one in the end. All right, back after this

0:10:55.640 --> 0:10:57.600
<v Speaker 1>on the pick up. It is the pickup with Britt,

0:10:57.679 --> 0:11:00.560
<v Speaker 1>Laura and Mitch now rushing to Chemist swear House right now.

0:11:00.600 --> 0:11:02.360
<v Speaker 1>When I say it, you have to do it because

0:11:02.360 --> 0:11:05.600
<v Speaker 1>there's half price off the so Nervous Vitamin range, excludes

0:11:05.679 --> 0:11:08.120
<v Speaker 1>bulk sizes, chemistware House great savings every day.

0:11:08.559 --> 0:11:12.079
<v Speaker 4>Now we're going to be talking about dirty dogs, dirty

0:11:12.200 --> 0:11:14.960
<v Speaker 4>cheating dogs, you know, the whole saying like once a

0:11:15.000 --> 0:11:18.560
<v Speaker 4>cheater always a cheater. Well, okay, there's been a bit

0:11:18.559 --> 0:11:21.360
<v Speaker 4>of research to figure out whether there's any validity in

0:11:21.400 --> 0:11:22.760
<v Speaker 4>that whatsoever.

0:11:22.600 --> 0:11:25.160
<v Speaker 1>Which essentially just means if someone cheats on you once

0:11:25.640 --> 0:11:28.080
<v Speaker 1>that you can't trust them ever again, to not do it.

0:11:28.160 --> 0:11:30.319
<v Speaker 5>Do research in everything these days, don't they like you're

0:11:30.320 --> 0:11:31.760
<v Speaker 5>a studying on everything.

0:11:32.000 --> 0:11:34.160
<v Speaker 4>I understand why there's been researched on this, and that's

0:11:34.200 --> 0:11:37.160
<v Speaker 4>because I think most people have experienced. If you've been

0:11:37.160 --> 0:11:39.480
<v Speaker 4>in the dating game for any period of time, you've

0:11:39.520 --> 0:11:42.160
<v Speaker 4>probably been cheated on. And if you haven't been cheated on,

0:11:42.200 --> 0:11:44.440
<v Speaker 4>you've been the cheater. The reason why I say this

0:11:44.600 --> 0:11:47.320
<v Speaker 4>is because of four hundred and eighty four couples who

0:11:47.400 --> 0:11:50.920
<v Speaker 4>were in this study, forty four percent of them had

0:11:50.960 --> 0:11:55.559
<v Speaker 4>participated in reports engaging in infidelity. Basically, that's a very

0:11:55.559 --> 0:11:58.360
<v Speaker 4>fancy way. You're saying forty four percent of these couples

0:11:58.640 --> 0:12:01.320
<v Speaker 4>somebody in that relationship had been unfaithful.

0:12:01.400 --> 0:12:03.040
<v Speaker 1>That's a massive sample size too.

0:12:03.520 --> 0:12:05.840
<v Speaker 5>It doesn't surprise me at all. That's that's, you know,

0:12:05.960 --> 0:12:07.800
<v Speaker 5>just under fifty percent people are cheating, And that doesn't

0:12:07.800 --> 0:12:08.200
<v Speaker 5>shock me.

0:12:08.440 --> 0:12:10.760
<v Speaker 4>Yes, But when you think about that, just under fifty

0:12:10.760 --> 0:12:13.360
<v Speaker 4>percent of people are cheating, that means that in a

0:12:13.400 --> 0:12:17.520
<v Speaker 4>lot of relationships, more than half somebody in that relationship

0:12:17.559 --> 0:12:18.080
<v Speaker 4>has cheated.

0:12:18.600 --> 0:12:21.199
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I mean, I just feel like everyone.

0:12:20.920 --> 0:12:23.079
<v Speaker 5>I know has cheated on someone or been cheated on,

0:12:23.200 --> 0:12:25.360
<v Speaker 5>including like I've been cheated on that many times.

0:12:25.600 --> 0:12:28.480
<v Speaker 2>I'm not shook by that stat Yeah, are you mean?

0:12:28.760 --> 0:12:30.560
<v Speaker 1>I think I'm just such a Disney boy. Look, I'm

0:12:30.600 --> 0:12:32.640
<v Speaker 1>such a romantic like that always. I mean, I've been

0:12:32.720 --> 0:12:34.920
<v Speaker 1>cheated on, but it still shocks me, Like it still

0:12:35.000 --> 0:12:36.880
<v Speaker 1>is so shocking to me that in my head and

0:12:36.920 --> 0:12:39.560
<v Speaker 1>growing up, I'm like, cheating is something that it's the

0:12:39.600 --> 0:12:41.520
<v Speaker 1>big sin. I think we're also taught that to think

0:12:41.520 --> 0:12:44.200
<v Speaker 1>that cheating is like the ultimal ultimate cardinal sin that

0:12:44.200 --> 0:12:46.440
<v Speaker 1>anyone can do in a relationship. But my stance on

0:12:46.480 --> 0:12:48.880
<v Speaker 1>it is it actually isn't that black and white. I

0:12:48.880 --> 0:12:50.080
<v Speaker 1>think it's really nuanced.

0:12:50.240 --> 0:12:51.760
<v Speaker 2>I agree with you. I don't think it's black and

0:12:51.760 --> 0:12:52.160
<v Speaker 2>white at all.

0:12:52.200 --> 0:12:54.720
<v Speaker 4>And I say this because I know in my early twenties,

0:12:54.720 --> 0:12:56.800
<v Speaker 4>like when I was much younger in my relationships, I

0:12:56.880 --> 0:12:59.160
<v Speaker 4>cheated in some of my relationships and I was cheated

0:12:59.160 --> 0:12:59.560
<v Speaker 4>on more.

0:12:59.640 --> 0:13:04.000
<v Speaker 2>Also, he did the HC though no I weaponized it.

0:13:04.080 --> 0:13:05.760
<v Speaker 4>I got cheated on and so then I cheated on

0:13:05.840 --> 0:13:09.280
<v Speaker 4>them and it was just an absolute messy, messy affair.

0:13:09.400 --> 0:13:10.079
<v Speaker 2>I think at the.

0:13:10.040 --> 0:13:12.719
<v Speaker 4>Time I justified it to myself that you know, we'll

0:13:12.720 --> 0:13:15.680
<v Speaker 4>heed it first, so therefore like he kind of deserved it.

0:13:15.679 --> 0:13:17.880
<v Speaker 4>It also makes you realize when you get out of

0:13:17.880 --> 0:13:21.800
<v Speaker 4>that relationship, I never ever ever want to live that again.

0:13:21.880 --> 0:13:24.760
<v Speaker 4>I never want the anxiety around it. I never want

0:13:24.760 --> 0:13:26.760
<v Speaker 4>the betrayal. I know how much we hurt each other,

0:13:26.840 --> 0:13:28.880
<v Speaker 4>and I have learnt so much from that, and it

0:13:28.880 --> 0:13:31.640
<v Speaker 4>makes me now be a really great partner to Matt

0:13:31.679 --> 0:13:33.880
<v Speaker 4>because I know I will never ever ever do it

0:13:33.880 --> 0:13:34.199
<v Speaker 4>to him.

0:13:34.240 --> 0:13:37.120
<v Speaker 1>Do you feel any guilt that you did that? Still?

0:13:38.120 --> 0:13:40.319
<v Speaker 2>I did at the time. I think you know this

0:13:40.360 --> 0:13:41.000
<v Speaker 2>is going back.

0:13:41.240 --> 0:13:43.040
<v Speaker 4>Hi, everyone, this has gone back a decade, so it

0:13:43.360 --> 0:13:46.120
<v Speaker 4>was not like a recent thing. But I definitely felt

0:13:46.160 --> 0:13:48.360
<v Speaker 4>guilty at the time. But like I said, I justified

0:13:48.360 --> 0:13:50.360
<v Speaker 4>it to myself that because he did it to me first,

0:13:50.360 --> 0:13:53.920
<v Speaker 4>he deserved it, which is so unhealthy and toxic for

0:13:53.960 --> 0:13:56.320
<v Speaker 4>so many reasons. Already, I just know that you can

0:13:56.360 --> 0:13:58.320
<v Speaker 4>never be in a relationship like that because you really

0:13:58.400 --> 0:14:00.320
<v Speaker 4>can't work through and it doesn't get any better. But

0:14:00.360 --> 0:14:02.440
<v Speaker 4>the reason why this research study is so interesting is

0:14:02.440 --> 0:14:04.680
<v Speaker 4>because it also revealed that those who have cheated in

0:14:04.679 --> 0:14:07.800
<v Speaker 4>the past were three times more likely to cheat again

0:14:07.840 --> 0:14:10.240
<v Speaker 4>compared to those who had never ever dabbled in adultery.

0:14:10.280 --> 0:14:11.720
<v Speaker 1>Ever, Oh that makes sense to me.

0:14:11.840 --> 0:14:14.000
<v Speaker 4>Yeah, but I think, I mean, there is truth to

0:14:14.080 --> 0:14:15.800
<v Speaker 4>the saying. Then once a cheater, always a cheater.

0:14:15.880 --> 0:14:18.760
<v Speaker 5>But do you think, like to switch animals, a leopard

0:14:18.760 --> 0:14:19.600
<v Speaker 5>can change a spot.

0:14:19.960 --> 0:14:20.440
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, I do.

0:14:20.520 --> 0:14:22.000
<v Speaker 4>And the reason why I say that, I think that

0:14:22.160 --> 0:14:24.480
<v Speaker 4>is because I think it's, as you said, Mitch, it's

0:14:24.560 --> 0:14:27.280
<v Speaker 4>a gray area. It's situational. You might cheat in one

0:14:27.320 --> 0:14:30.200
<v Speaker 4>relationship and then you know, do the self work, be

0:14:30.280 --> 0:14:32.520
<v Speaker 4>a better person, and then move into a relationship where

0:14:32.520 --> 0:14:33.680
<v Speaker 4>you're getting all the things that you.

0:14:33.680 --> 0:14:34.280
<v Speaker 2>Need and want.

0:14:34.640 --> 0:14:37.920
<v Speaker 4>But I don't think if nothing has changed and you've

0:14:37.960 --> 0:14:40.160
<v Speaker 4>already cheated once or twice in a relationship and then

0:14:40.200 --> 0:14:42.160
<v Speaker 4>you haven't gone to therapy or you haven't changed anything

0:14:42.160 --> 0:14:44.240
<v Speaker 4>about your life, I think it's a pretty hard thing

0:14:44.280 --> 0:14:45.840
<v Speaker 4>to turn around and be like, yeah, I'm never gonna

0:14:45.840 --> 0:14:46.360
<v Speaker 4>do it again.

0:14:46.520 --> 0:14:48.560
<v Speaker 2>This time will be different. I think people can change.

0:14:48.560 --> 0:14:52.120
<v Speaker 5>It's also so subjective what cheating is to someone emotional cheating,

0:14:52.240 --> 0:14:53.320
<v Speaker 5>physical cheating, this is.

0:14:53.240 --> 0:14:57.200
<v Speaker 2>True one of affairs. But I think that people can change.

0:14:57.240 --> 0:15:01.000
<v Speaker 2>I really do believe that, But it's how many.

0:15:00.960 --> 0:15:03.320
<v Speaker 5>Chances you give them when you move on, Like if

0:15:03.360 --> 0:15:04.880
<v Speaker 5>I think of the second time, if you like, if

0:15:04.920 --> 0:15:06.520
<v Speaker 5>someone's like, you know, I've changed, I did this in

0:15:06.520 --> 0:15:08.520
<v Speaker 5>the past, I've changed. And then if they do it once, yeah,

0:15:08.560 --> 0:15:09.960
<v Speaker 5>like you don't let them pull the wool over your

0:15:10.000 --> 0:15:10.680
<v Speaker 5>eyes multi times.

0:15:10.720 --> 0:15:12.680
<v Speaker 1>I agree. I also just think it's such an emotionally

0:15:12.760 --> 0:15:16.120
<v Speaker 1>charged arena because all we're talking about now is the cheater.

0:15:16.200 --> 0:15:18.120
<v Speaker 1>But we're not talking about the person that was cheated on,

0:15:18.160 --> 0:15:21.200
<v Speaker 1>which can cause a lot, like a lifetime of trauma

0:15:21.240 --> 0:15:23.480
<v Speaker 1>for a person, right, but the actual cheat. Oh, Like,

0:15:23.480 --> 0:15:25.880
<v Speaker 1>there is so much that goes into the decision to cheat,

0:15:25.960 --> 0:15:30.040
<v Speaker 1>you know, age the relationship trauma of their own Like

0:15:30.120 --> 0:15:31.200
<v Speaker 1>it's it's hard.

0:15:31.600 --> 0:15:31.880
<v Speaker 2>Yeah.

0:15:31.920 --> 0:15:33.680
<v Speaker 4>And I think as well though, we do like to

0:15:33.720 --> 0:15:37.160
<v Speaker 4>demonize people who who do cheat in relationships. We instantly

0:15:37.160 --> 0:15:39.560
<v Speaker 4>demonize them as though they're bad people or it's black

0:15:39.560 --> 0:15:41.680
<v Speaker 4>and white whel away, like, well, if they've cheated, then there.

0:15:41.560 --> 0:15:42.840
<v Speaker 2>Was absolutely no love at all.

0:15:43.160 --> 0:15:45.320
<v Speaker 4>The reason why I thought this study was really interesting, though,

0:15:45.360 --> 0:15:47.840
<v Speaker 4>is because it did talk about a different or a

0:15:47.840 --> 0:15:50.760
<v Speaker 4>specific personality type, like if you're dating someone who has

0:15:50.920 --> 0:15:54.720
<v Speaker 4>narcissistic personality traits, they are the people who are way

0:15:54.720 --> 0:15:58.280
<v Speaker 4>more inclined to continually and habitually cheat and you can't

0:15:58.360 --> 0:15:59.480
<v Speaker 4>change that behavior in them.

0:15:59.480 --> 0:16:02.000
<v Speaker 5>It's because they constantly want validation, they want love, they

0:16:02.040 --> 0:16:03.720
<v Speaker 5>want people to want them, and they want to feel that.

0:16:03.760 --> 0:16:05.720
<v Speaker 5>When you're in a relationship long term, we all know

0:16:05.880 --> 0:16:07.920
<v Speaker 5>that that sort of dies down, so they go and

0:16:07.960 --> 0:16:11.280
<v Speaker 5>look for the next bex thing to give them that superficial.

0:16:10.680 --> 0:16:13.080
<v Speaker 1>Want and need. Yeah crazy all right back after this

0:16:13.200 --> 0:16:13.640
<v Speaker 1>on the pickup