Speaker 1: Come on Thursday, everyone.
Speaker 2: Do you know what this is going to sound? So
Speaker 2: woo woo. It's probably the most woo woo.
Speaker 1: Thing I'm ever going to say. I can't wait to
Speaker 1: hear this.
Speaker 2: I put my crystals out last night. No, I'm not okay.
Speaker 2: I'm not someone who's very spiritual.
Speaker 3: You know.
Speaker 4: I don't really believe in meditation and ghosts and signs.
Speaker 5: You know what.
Speaker 1: I believe in breathwork and breathing.
Speaker 4: I do not believe in doctors and I sparks and
Speaker 4: all that.
Speaker 2: I just I just not okay.
Speaker 4: Talking about this is going to sound super crazy now
Speaker 4: that we've established that I don't believe in things that
Speaker 4: are actually real.
Speaker 1: Watch hours, all right?
Speaker 4: Does anyone else ever see reappearing numbers?
Speaker 2: Like repelling numbers over and over right? Every day?
Speaker 4: And I'm talking like ten twenty times a day. I'm
Speaker 4: seeing the numbers one one one or like one zero
Speaker 4: one one.
Speaker 1: Have you your heads?
Speaker 5: You know, I don't believe in nice spars and shit,
Speaker 5: but numbers that reappear, that's fact.
Speaker 2: That is crazy. Guys.
Speaker 4: Apparently they called angel numbers, and apparently it means that
Speaker 4: something big is going to happen in your life.
Speaker 2: The last time I saw them was just before I
Speaker 2: met my husband.
Speaker 1: Where have you seen the numbers everywhere?
Speaker 4: I'm talking, like on the on screens, on number plates.
Speaker 4: I look at the clock and it's one one one,
Speaker 4: Like places.
Speaker 1: Where numbers are clocks, number plates, just calculators everywhere.
Speaker 4: Okay, when I type one one one one into the calculator,
Speaker 4: it appears, guys, you're not taking me seriously.
Speaker 1: You're not well.
Speaker 2: I think some big change is coming. When I type
Speaker 2: in MAT's phone number to do you know what?
Speaker 4: At least Tony our produce, is taking me seriously. You
Speaker 4: guys can all get terrified.
Speaker 2: No, Angel, Okay, we just thought the start was funny.
Speaker 3: We rolled with it.
Speaker 2: Angel, numbers are a thing, are they?
Speaker 1: Thanks for bringing I just trying to support you. Next
Speaker 1: on the show. This is still a start, guys, ask
Speaker 1: guncut is next. Imagine if you go through a shocking
Speaker 1: breakup and your partner goes, I want to come and
Speaker 1: see the dog, our shared dog dog gets in the
Speaker 1: middle of the breakup. That's something that's actually happened.
Speaker 2: Get a new dog. You can't get a new child.
Speaker 1: The dogs. We've got to listener to give some help
Speaker 1: to and advice. You're on the pickup. Welcome back Thursday
Speaker 1: afternoon with Britt, Laura and Mitch. Thanks for being here.
Speaker 1: Right now rushing to Chemists Warehouse to get half price
Speaker 1: off the so Novas vitamin range. It excludes bulk sizes
Speaker 1: Chemists Warehouse, great savings. Every day now it is Thursday.
Speaker 1: You know what we do on Thursday's gals or my favorite?
Speaker 2: Oh yeah?
Speaker 4: So ask gun Cut is something that we do on
Speaker 4: our podcast Life on Cut, and that is where you
Speaker 4: call in and you give us your problems, your dilemmas,
Speaker 4: your deepest, darkest issues, and we do our best to
Speaker 4: answer them.
Speaker 1: We really do try, don't. We got to Oscar to
Speaker 1: do best. I have a punt, Oscar. Are you on
Speaker 1: with this?
Speaker 5: Hi?
Speaker 1: What's your question? What do you need help with?
Speaker 5: Hi?
Speaker 3: Guys? I just have a question. So I was together
Speaker 3: with my man for like five years and like we've
Speaker 3: recently just broken up. And the whole issue is we
Speaker 3: got a dog together. He did pay for the dog
Speaker 3: at the time, but in that space we were together,
Speaker 3: I was the one walking it. I was the one
Speaker 3: feeding it. I would I mean I body chained him
Speaker 3: like I would say something, the one taking care of
Speaker 3: the dog. So in the breakup, I took the dog
Speaker 3: with me because I was like I raised him essentially. Yeah,
Speaker 3: And now that we've broken up and he things have
Speaker 3: calmed down a little bit. He has this idea that
Speaker 3: he can just come and see our dog whatever he wants. So, like,
Speaker 3: I'll be work and he'll just text me and go, hey,
Speaker 3: I've just picked up the dog. We've gone for a
Speaker 3: walk in cases in case we were not here when
Speaker 3: you come home. I feel a little uncomfortable by this.
Speaker 2: Wait, how does he get into your house? How does
Speaker 2: he just pick the dog up?
Speaker 3: My housemate knows two he is and goes, oh, yeah,
Speaker 3: cool the dogs about that?
Speaker 1: Listen, I've got an interesting take on this. I think
Speaker 1: it's okay if you're okay with it, Oscar, Like if
Speaker 1: you two were at a point where you think you've healed,
Speaker 1: you've gotten over each other, then if it's essentially co parenting.
Speaker 1: But do you feel your on your healing journey? Are
Speaker 1: you over him? Are you still wanting to see him
Speaker 1: that much?
Speaker 3: I mean not particularly, it's still quite fresh. It's been like, well,
Speaker 3: it's been like three or four months since we've broken up,
Speaker 3: and you know, I'm more than happy for him to
Speaker 3: call me and go, hey, I want to see I
Speaker 3: want to see Coco? Can can? Like? Can you drop
Speaker 3: in here?
Speaker 4: Like?
Speaker 3: I'm more than happy for that a bit of communication.
Speaker 3: But do I really need to be okay with him
Speaker 3: turning up to my house and staying hi to my
Speaker 3: housemates and saying, hey, can I can I take Coco
Speaker 3: for a walk? Or can I take him to my place?
Speaker 3: I think without me being there?
Speaker 5: No, you actually you don't have to be especially like
Speaker 5: if you think how long a dog lives for right,
Speaker 5: it could live up for fifteen years.
Speaker 2: It's a kid.
Speaker 5: It's a long time for you to have this shared
Speaker 5: communication and shared custod.
Speaker 4: If you can co parent comfortably and it's not causing
Speaker 4: anyone anguish, then go for it. But co parenting a
Speaker 4: dog just sounds way too hard. The only thing I
Speaker 4: question is if he's only coming when you're not home. So,
Speaker 4: for example, if he's like texting a housemate, if he
Speaker 4: picks a dog up, drops the dog back before you
Speaker 4: get home and you're none the wiser to it, are
Speaker 4: you okay with that level of contact or is it
Speaker 4: more so when he has to message you and then
Speaker 4: it upsets your day.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I'd be getting the free dog walker if you can.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well that's what I thought. But a couple of
Speaker 3: my friends were telling me that it shouldn't be like,
Speaker 3: it shouldn't be an issue. He should be free to
Speaker 3: come and get his dog. But I just don't know.
Speaker 3: I think it's okay, Like I really think, you know,
Speaker 3: and it's got nothing to do with payment, like I mean,
Speaker 3: I it's the thing, like I'm the one that taught
Speaker 3: it how to do a good old fashioned toilet troops. Like,
Speaker 3: I just feel like that there needs to be some
Speaker 3: kind of communication. He's just not listening to me.
Speaker 1: You should just train it to like shit on his
Speaker 1: leather goods, you know, just like train it to be
Speaker 1: a really spiteful dog. I don't know what's happened to
Speaker 1: Coco's habits, but he's gotten really bad recently.
Speaker 2: He's really acting out in the divorce and in the breakup.
Speaker 2: Keep doing that.
Speaker 1: I hope we can hope you can. We can help
Speaker 1: you there, and co Coke can sleep.
Speaker 4: I couldn't think of anything worse than co parenting a dog.
Speaker 4: Parenting kids is so hard for some people.
Speaker 2: Co Parenting a dog no just get a.
Speaker 5: New dog, parented dogs and I had to give it up.
Speaker 1: Really yeah, you can't do it.
Speaker 2: You cannot do it.
Speaker 4: Only for a period of time. There's always someone still
Speaker 4: hanging on because of the pet.
Speaker 1: Also, it's more than pets. Breakups are heard. I'm still
Speaker 1: fighting over a Smeg blender with my ex.
Speaker 2: Let him have the blender?
Speaker 1: Which wants to blender?
Speaker 2: Are you co parenting the blender?
Speaker 3: Now?
Speaker 1: We're sure? One week gets a Compulse. I get it
Speaker 1: for smoothie mode. Oh, if you want to get in
Speaker 1: touch and if you've got an ask gun kind of
Speaker 1: your own dms at the pick up on Instagram and
Speaker 1: we'll get you on It is the pickup around the country.
Speaker 1: Brit Laura and Mitchell thanks to Chemist Warehouse heading today
Speaker 1: great savings every day. Guys. The time has come. It
Speaker 1: is officially ten years since I graduated at high school.
Speaker 2: Oh you are such a baby. That makes me feel
Speaker 2: like you what makes me feel old?
Speaker 5: You know?
Speaker 4: I received a text message recently twenty year school reunion
Speaker 4: this year.
Speaker 1: Oh my god, see that's exactly what I'm in the
Speaker 1: middle of. I because I was school captain in primary
Speaker 1: school and high school. Thank you. It was a world record,
Speaker 1: and I'm organized somehow, somehow, I've been roped into organizing
Speaker 1: my ten year high school reunion.
Speaker 2: Oh what are you gonna do? Because like, you've got
Speaker 2: to make it good, You've got to impress that. It's
Speaker 2: my worst nightmare.
Speaker 1: I'm so stressed out. Also at the moment, I'm trying
Speaker 1: to wrangle everyone. So we have a Facebook group from
Speaker 1: when we were in school, but I'm trying to wrangle people.
Speaker 1: And then I've even like brought in a lackey like
Speaker 1: the girl that I was friends with in high school,
Speaker 1: Kristin Arthur. I said, Kristen, you're gonna help me organize
Speaker 1: this thing.
Speaker 2: Oh you've you've got a PA for the ten year reunion.
Speaker 1: I've booked myself a PA, and she was willing to oblige.
Speaker 5: Do you think they've only asked you mech seriously, not
Speaker 5: just because you were a captain, but because of your connections?
Speaker 2: Do you reckon? They think it is going to come
Speaker 2: through the good?
Speaker 1: Do throw a wild event?
Speaker 2: Maybe better than a party just at the RSL club?
Speaker 1: Oh yeah, I'll just call guy sebastiity a couple. Anyway,
Speaker 1: Kristen calls me this week and she goes, hey, Mitch,
Speaker 1: where do we stand on inviting people that left school early?
Speaker 1: And I go, that's all right, And she goes, what
Speaker 1: about people that have served time? And I go, people
Speaker 1: that serve time, who've served time, and I won't name them.
Speaker 4: When you have people from your year who ended up
Speaker 4: in prison, they just got released, you have I mean,
Speaker 4: they can still come to the party.
Speaker 1: Stephanie, she went Ken Stephanie smith Cup, I said, she's
Speaker 1: out still, It's exactly right. I want to see where
Speaker 1: she's at the inside and how was prison exactly Although
Speaker 1: you know.
Speaker 4: When you go to like a reunion, the whole point
Speaker 4: of it is kind of you catch up with everyone,
Speaker 4: but you also level up a bit. You're like, what
Speaker 4: are you doing with yourself? And you can't kind to
Speaker 4: figure out where people are ten years on. This poor
Speaker 4: person's like, well, I've been in prison. At least you
Speaker 4: know you're not doing the worst.
Speaker 1: Well, it's also intense that I have to front the
Speaker 1: cost of the deposit because I'm obviously booking the venue
Speaker 1: and it's five and a half grand deposit that I'm
Speaker 1: going to have to pay.
Speaker 2: It's better to have it at the RSEL Club.
Speaker 1: Well, is it irsel are charging that money?
Speaker 5: Nah, I'd have it down at local park, hang some balloons,
Speaker 5: no deposit, like a three year old birthday part. You know.
Speaker 4: I went to my ten year reunion and I really
Speaker 4: love like I love school. I had a great group
Speaker 4: of girlfriends and I wasn't in contact with a lot
Speaker 4: of people, but I still had my close little knitter friends.
Speaker 2: So we went to this reunion and there was a.
Speaker 4: Girl there who had bullied me so bad in school,
Speaker 4: like so bad, except after we finished school, I hooked
Speaker 4: up with her brother. And now I know that she
Speaker 4: didn't know about this and it would have absolutely killed her.
Speaker 4: So I played the long game. Guys, ten years after
Speaker 4: finishing school, I told her, so good to see you.
Speaker 4: Guess what happened after school? I hooked up with your
Speaker 4: brother and I could see the rage in her and
Speaker 4: it just felt so good. Even though I was in
Speaker 4: my late twenties, I was like, yeah, I won this round.
Speaker 5: People just don't move on, do theyllys? You know what?
Speaker 4: Her brother was pretty hot, though, to be fair, I
Speaker 4: should hope. So anyway, I didn't just do it to
Speaker 4: get back it up.
Speaker 1: I did also because I fancy, So can we confirm
Speaker 1: your tip for me to organize my tenue reunions to
Speaker 1: sleep with one of my classmates, but.
Speaker 4: To sleep with someone down a bone your bullies brother.
Speaker 4: It literally would work in the same way does bone
Speaker 4: your bullies brother? Go in and then tell them and then.
Speaker 2: See them squirm? All right, can't give them details as well?
Speaker 1: Happy ten years.
Speaker 2: I mean I feel sorry for you.
Speaker 5: I would never want to organize this. I don't think
Speaker 5: it's cool that you have to put the deposit on,
Speaker 5: because then what happens you put your five grand down?
Speaker 2: Everyone's going to pull out.
Speaker 5: I promise you. People are not going to turn up
Speaker 5: and you're going to be fronted with a cost. Yeah
Speaker 5: you will, but you did bone your bullies.
Speaker 1: Brothers one in the end. All right, back after this
Speaker 1: on the pick up. It is the pickup with Britt,
Speaker 1: Laura and Mitch now rushing to Chemist swear House right now.
Speaker 1: When I say it, you have to do it because
Speaker 1: there's half price off the so Nervous Vitamin range, excludes
Speaker 1: bulk sizes, chemistware House great savings every day.
Speaker 4: Now we're going to be talking about dirty dogs, dirty
Speaker 4: cheating dogs, you know, the whole saying like once a
Speaker 4: cheater always a cheater. Well, okay, there's been a bit
Speaker 4: of research to figure out whether there's any validity in
Speaker 4: that whatsoever.
Speaker 1: Which essentially just means if someone cheats on you once
Speaker 1: that you can't trust them ever again, to not do it.
Speaker 5: Do research in everything these days, don't they like you're
Speaker 5: a studying on everything.
Speaker 4: I understand why there's been researched on this, and that's
Speaker 4: because I think most people have experienced. If you've been
Speaker 4: in the dating game for any period of time, you've
Speaker 4: probably been cheated on. And if you haven't been cheated on,
Speaker 4: you've been the cheater. The reason why I say this
Speaker 4: is because of four hundred and eighty four couples who
Speaker 4: were in this study, forty four percent of them had
Speaker 4: participated in reports engaging in infidelity. Basically, that's a very
Speaker 4: fancy way. You're saying forty four percent of these couples
Speaker 4: somebody in that relationship had been unfaithful.
Speaker 1: That's a massive sample size too.
Speaker 5: It doesn't surprise me at all. That's that's, you know,
Speaker 5: just under fifty percent people are cheating, And that doesn't
Speaker 5: shock me.
Speaker 4: Yes, But when you think about that, just under fifty
Speaker 4: percent of people are cheating, that means that in a
Speaker 4: lot of relationships, more than half somebody in that relationship
Speaker 4: has cheated.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean, I just feel like everyone.
Speaker 5: I know has cheated on someone or been cheated on,
Speaker 5: including like I've been cheated on that many times.
Speaker 2: I'm not shook by that stat Yeah, are you mean?
Speaker 1: I think I'm just such a Disney boy. Look, I'm
Speaker 1: such a romantic like that always. I mean, I've been
Speaker 1: cheated on, but it still shocks me, Like it still
Speaker 1: is so shocking to me that in my head and
Speaker 1: growing up, I'm like, cheating is something that it's the
Speaker 1: big sin. I think we're also taught that to think
Speaker 1: that cheating is like the ultimal ultimate cardinal sin that
Speaker 1: anyone can do in a relationship. But my stance on
Speaker 1: it is it actually isn't that black and white. I
Speaker 1: think it's really nuanced.
Speaker 2: I agree with you. I don't think it's black and
Speaker 2: white at all.
Speaker 4: And I say this because I know in my early twenties,
Speaker 4: like when I was much younger in my relationships, I
Speaker 4: cheated in some of my relationships and I was cheated
Speaker 4: on more.
Speaker 2: Also, he did the HC though no I weaponized it.
Speaker 4: I got cheated on and so then I cheated on
Speaker 4: them and it was just an absolute messy, messy affair.
Speaker 2: I think at the.
Speaker 4: Time I justified it to myself that you know, we'll
Speaker 4: heed it first, so therefore like he kind of deserved it.
Speaker 4: It also makes you realize when you get out of
Speaker 4: that relationship, I never ever ever want to live that again.
Speaker 4: I never want the anxiety around it. I never want
Speaker 4: the betrayal. I know how much we hurt each other,
Speaker 4: and I have learnt so much from that, and it
Speaker 4: makes me now be a really great partner to Matt
Speaker 4: because I know I will never ever ever do it
Speaker 4: to him.
Speaker 1: Do you feel any guilt that you did that? Still?
Speaker 2: I did at the time. I think you know this
Speaker 2: is going back.
Speaker 4: Hi, everyone, this has gone back a decade, so it
Speaker 4: was not like a recent thing. But I definitely felt
Speaker 4: guilty at the time. But like I said, I justified
Speaker 4: it to myself that because he did it to me first,
Speaker 4: he deserved it, which is so unhealthy and toxic for
Speaker 4: so many reasons. Already, I just know that you can
Speaker 4: never be in a relationship like that because you really
Speaker 4: can't work through and it doesn't get any better. But
Speaker 4: the reason why this research study is so interesting is
Speaker 4: because it also revealed that those who have cheated in
Speaker 4: the past were three times more likely to cheat again
Speaker 4: compared to those who had never ever dabbled in adultery.
Speaker 1: Ever, Oh that makes sense to me.
Speaker 4: Yeah, but I think, I mean, there is truth to
Speaker 4: the saying. Then once a cheater, always a cheater.
Speaker 5: But do you think, like to switch animals, a leopard
Speaker 5: can change a spot.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I do.
Speaker 4: And the reason why I say that, I think that
Speaker 4: is because I think it's, as you said, Mitch, it's
Speaker 4: a gray area. It's situational. You might cheat in one
Speaker 4: relationship and then you know, do the self work, be
Speaker 4: a better person, and then move into a relationship where
Speaker 4: you're getting all the things that you.
Speaker 2: Need and want.
Speaker 4: But I don't think if nothing has changed and you've
Speaker 4: already cheated once or twice in a relationship and then
Speaker 4: you haven't gone to therapy or you haven't changed anything
Speaker 4: about your life, I think it's a pretty hard thing
Speaker 4: to turn around and be like, yeah, I'm never gonna
Speaker 4: do it again.
Speaker 2: This time will be different. I think people can change.
Speaker 5: It's also so subjective what cheating is to someone emotional cheating,
Speaker 5: physical cheating, this is.
Speaker 2: True one of affairs. But I think that people can change.
Speaker 2: I really do believe that, But it's how many.
Speaker 5: Chances you give them when you move on, Like if
Speaker 5: I think of the second time, if you like, if
Speaker 5: someone's like, you know, I've changed, I did this in
Speaker 5: the past, I've changed. And then if they do it once, yeah,
Speaker 5: like you don't let them pull the wool over your
Speaker 5: eyes multi times.
Speaker 1: I agree. I also just think it's such an emotionally
Speaker 1: charged arena because all we're talking about now is the cheater.
Speaker 1: But we're not talking about the person that was cheated on,
Speaker 1: which can cause a lot, like a lifetime of trauma
Speaker 1: for a person, right, but the actual cheat. Oh, Like,
Speaker 1: there is so much that goes into the decision to cheat,
Speaker 1: you know, age the relationship trauma of their own Like
Speaker 1: it's it's hard.
Speaker 2: Yeah.
Speaker 4: And I think as well though, we do like to
Speaker 4: demonize people who who do cheat in relationships. We instantly
Speaker 4: demonize them as though they're bad people or it's black
Speaker 4: and white whel away, like, well, if they've cheated, then there.
Speaker 2: Was absolutely no love at all.
Speaker 4: The reason why I thought this study was really interesting, though,
Speaker 4: is because it did talk about a different or a
Speaker 4: specific personality type, like if you're dating someone who has
Speaker 4: narcissistic personality traits, they are the people who are way
Speaker 4: more inclined to continually and habitually cheat and you can't
Speaker 4: change that behavior in them.
Speaker 5: It's because they constantly want validation, they want love, they
Speaker 5: want people to want them, and they want to feel that.
Speaker 5: When you're in a relationship long term, we all know
Speaker 5: that that sort of dies down, so they go and
Speaker 5: look for the next bex thing to give them that superficial.
Speaker 1: Want and need. Yeah crazy all right back after this
Speaker 1: on the pickup