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Speaker 1: It's a woman woody podcast minis.

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Speaker 2: But when you're in a rash or just can't be

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Speaker 2: bothered listening to them brother on for half an hour.

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Speaker 1: We've got a.

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Speaker 3: Super special guest in the studio right now.

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Speaker 2: Our next guest likes to play and play hard. But

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Speaker 2: no matter how hard he tries, his weekly show just

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Speaker 2: can't be massing in the ratings and he kills him

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Speaker 2: kills him every week. You'd love to see him be

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Speaker 2: that show just once.

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Speaker 4: Oh, not to worry though.

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Speaker 2: He's probably taking his own advice to line up. That's

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Speaker 2: the name of his stand up show that he's touring

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Speaker 2: at the moment. Again, something else we'd just love to see.

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Speaker 2: Welcome to the show. The master of all enthusiastic work

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Speaker 2: of support.

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Speaker 4: It's comedian Tom Will.

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Speaker 3: Much. Great to be here, Great to have you here, mate.

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Speaker 5: What was your what was your COVID? Like, we haven't

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Speaker 5: seen you during that I heard you were trapped in

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Speaker 5: Barron Bay for a little year.

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Speaker 1: So it was very tricky up there. I went to

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Speaker 1: Barron Bay because I wanted to raise the profile of

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Speaker 1: the town, just help him out a little bit. Well

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Speaker 1: Chris Heim's worth there, but he he only won a

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Speaker 1: regular logo. I want the gold logan in the logan strata.

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Speaker 1: I am a bigger star than Chris Hem's words. I

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Speaker 1: went into town to try to drum up some interest

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Speaker 1: in and he appreciated.

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Speaker 3: Did he did you see him there at all?

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Speaker 5: Oh?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I saw him at the shops.

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Speaker 4: Did you see everyone? Know who you are?

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Speaker 1: I don't know if he does know who I am.

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Speaker 1: I didn't say to him, just in case. I don't

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Speaker 1: want to be disappointed.

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Speaker 3: You didn't want to be disappointed.

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Speaker 1: I saw Bernard Fanning and that was exciting, but again

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Speaker 1: I didn't know who he whether he knew me or not.

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Speaker 1: He said hello to me and it freaked me out. Sorry,

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Speaker 1: that's huge.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, I cut that m's worth.

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Speaker 1: In your face.

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Speaker 3: It's another on the logo.

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Speaker 1: The list keeps growing, But yeah, it was you just

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Speaker 1: had some time out here therefore. Well, the thing was

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Speaker 1: I had Bugger All on because there were no live

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Speaker 1: events anywhere, and performing live is the day job. The

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Speaker 1: quiz Hard Quiz was on air and that was all

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Speaker 1: in the can, so that was just on air, and

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Speaker 1: I thought, well, if I'm going to go do Bugger All,

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Speaker 1: I should go to the you know, the capital of

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Speaker 1: doing Bugger. Also went to Barron Bay where everyone does

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Speaker 1: it professionally, wandered around the place, but I didn't fit in.

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Speaker 1: I look like this, I'm just wandering around Barron Bay.

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Speaker 1: People are looking at me like, look at that guy.

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Speaker 1: I think he pays tax? Who is he throwing calm

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Speaker 1: and milk at me? And shit? But it was nice.

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Speaker 4: Were you performing stand up and Barren as well? Or

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Speaker 4: you could?

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Speaker 1: Well? That was the beautiful thing, the Lightning Up Tour.

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Speaker 1: I suspended it obviously because it COVID like everybody else.

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Speaker 1: But then when I was in Barron they opened up

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Speaker 1: the border to queens and so I just ran a muck.

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Speaker 1: I started doing shows in Brisbane and and Twimba and

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Speaker 1: Darwin and came back down again, did Sydney and Camberan Newcastle.

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Speaker 1: So at one stage there I was the only show

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Speaker 1: touring in Australia. That's great. Yeah I knew. You know

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Speaker 1: my friends were back in Melbourne. Look at Instagram?

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Speaker 4: What why that made you feel good? Every morning I

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Speaker 4: saw you you needed a.

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Speaker 3: Few shows at the Sydney Opera House.

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Speaker 5: I mean, we're amongst friends here like you, you probably

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Speaker 5: wouldn't have landed that gig unless you were the only

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Speaker 5: guy touring.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well that would be a sledge, except that I've

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Speaker 1: done it several times. Yes, but it's fine. I understand

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Speaker 1: that you haven't. You know, the research is limited. He

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Speaker 1: read the first paragraph from Wikipedia. But it turns out

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Speaker 1: I've sold that several times. Pretty COVID, which does your.

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Speaker 4: Inside try and get him again?

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Speaker 3: No, no, no, you do not try and bring down the master.

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Speaker 5: I'm going to go and see Tommy is promoting his

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Speaker 5: show Lighting Up, which yes, he has toured all over

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Speaker 5: the rest of the country apart from the COVID intense way.

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Speaker 3: So Melbourn get a chance to see tom again.

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Speaker 5: The Melbourn International Comedy Festival will be there from the

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Speaker 5: Stark Guys March twenty five is touring. All's going to

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Speaker 5: be there for about a month, which is awesome, and

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Speaker 5: then he's doing the Sydney Comedy Festival.

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Speaker 1: I'm going to go back to Sydney. Anyone who missed

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Speaker 1: me at the Opera House, I'm doing and more theater.

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Speaker 3: Oh lovely, so slide down grade but still a wonderful show.

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Speaker 1: So it's a larger venue. You haven't done your research

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Speaker 1: because the Dame Jones Sutherland theater, which is a smaller

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Speaker 1: capacity than theater. Anyone who works in the music industry

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Speaker 1: would know that.

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Speaker 2: Likely.

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Speaker 3: I don't work. I work on commercial radio, which is

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Speaker 3: a long way away from it.

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Speaker 5: Got a very special guest and Tom Gleason, the Shitty Yeah.

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Speaker 3: Tom's performing lighting up.

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Speaker 5: You can see him Melbourne and Sydney comedy dot com

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Speaker 5: dot Are you not doing Perth and Adelaide because they

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Speaker 5: got a dose of you.

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Speaker 1: I already did it, So essentially I'm doing all the

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Speaker 1: places that I missed last year. So Melbourne we had

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Speaker 1: to cancel co but we had to cancel. I did

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Speaker 1: them last Saturday and Woollongong. I'm going to get to

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Speaker 1: them and a return show to Sydney.

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Speaker 3: At the end of so Brisbane. You've had your time.

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Speaker 1: Already did Brisbane into last year.

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Speaker 3: Queensland's got it all.

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Speaker 1: Queensland's done.

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Speaker 3: You don't get a double dip Tom Gleason.

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Speaker 1: No, that's right, fair enough. Having said that, the tour

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Speaker 1: is going really well, it might extend. Just just earn

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Speaker 1: more money.

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Speaker 3: You just cash.

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Speaker 1: They closed the borders. There's going to national acts. This

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Speaker 1: Melbourne Comedy Festival. My tickets are selling the fastest they've

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Speaker 1: ever sold. Because I am a big fish in a

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Speaker 1: tiny pond and I love.

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Speaker 3: It just I just like that's it.

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Speaker 4: So keep the borders close.

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Speaker 1: We all get vaccinated, but we keep the borders close.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, No, it's a good idea.

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Speaker 1: Worry we're safe, we're here, and we just don't reopen

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Speaker 1: the borders. Ever.

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Speaker 3: That's the sort of politics. That's it.

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Speaker 1: And we still call it the Melbourne International Comedy Festival.

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Speaker 1: We're making a mockery of it calling the International.

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Speaker 3: There's a few of them that are stuck here. Like

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Speaker 3: Ross Nobles still.

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Speaker 5: Starts around on the International Live National page at the

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Speaker 5: Melbourne's Comedy Yes a website the other daycause.

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Speaker 1: I was like, geez, Ross Noble. Arch Barker is another one.

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Speaker 1: At what point do they become you know, do we

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Speaker 1: say that no, it's okay, you can perform here on

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Speaker 1: International anymore?

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Speaker 4: Because both Arch and Ross live here, don't they.

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Speaker 1: Well, everyone knows that Austraids get more excited about artists

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Speaker 1: who are from a Definitely they do not like anyone

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Speaker 1: knowing that they live here. But I can tell you

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Speaker 1: for certain they both live here.

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Speaker 4: They're not sexy anymore. I don't like to promote it.

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Speaker 1: They don't like to promote it, but make no mistake,

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Speaker 1: Ross Noble and ars Baker are as good as being

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Speaker 1: Australian and so you should sign.

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Speaker 3: This is really great. It's a great sportsmanship from you,

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Speaker 3: isn't it.

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Speaker 4: I mean, this is why you.

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Speaker 3: Made a big time.

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Speaker 4: You just shoot down the other competitors.

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Speaker 1: All just got to get rid of them, clear it out.

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Speaker 1: This is my festival.

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Speaker 5: Now, speaking of other with other comedians, Tom you did

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Speaker 5: never crack it. Will Anderson is going to be on

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Speaker 5: the show tomorrow, parting his comedy festival show. Because Hard

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Speaker 5: Quiz your show on the ABC Wednesdays and Wednesday night

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Speaker 5: to day PM, beat gruin his show on the NBC and.

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Speaker 4: In the ratings in the ratings war.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well it's awkward because yeah, because Will and I

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Speaker 1: used to always laugh about when I won the Gold

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Speaker 1: log because I used yeah, we're good for and we

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Speaker 1: used to always talk about how it was funny because

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Speaker 1: my show Hard Quiz was the highest rating show out

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Speaker 1: of the other gold Logging nominees, which people didn't like

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Speaker 1: because it meant that I should have won. So it's

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Speaker 1: kind of always a bit awkward when the most popular

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Speaker 1: show wins and everyone was a.

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Speaker 3: Bit down, and I remember that that was a bit

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Speaker 3: but one.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but the thing that I always left out that

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Speaker 1: only Will knew about was that grew and rated more

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Speaker 1: than my show and he wasn't even nominated. So I

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Speaker 1: just failed to notice that in all my campaigning that

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Speaker 1: I wasn't even the most popular person on the ABC.

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Speaker 1: Nobody spotted it, nobody.

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Speaker 5: And then you had the gall on Instagram when you

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Speaker 5: beat him the other day to just tweet at Will

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Speaker 5: Anderson in your face.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well, now that it beat grew and I need

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Speaker 1: to point that out to everybody. Of course, that's I've

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Speaker 1: been on his podcast and I pointed out I liked, yeah,

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Speaker 1: pointing out the ratings when they're really good, and that

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Speaker 1: I would do it when grew and was beaten by

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Speaker 1: Hard Quiz. So I lived up to my words.

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Speaker 3: Still getting beaten by Maps though in the ratings.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, that's very true. Well, it's very thorn in your side,

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Speaker 1: isn't it. Well, it's it's depressing for the country as

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Speaker 1: a whole when you think about it, because what does

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Speaker 1: it say about us? Really? Have you watched it? No,

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Speaker 1: I'm too busy watching myself. Hard quish.

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Speaker 3: It's a funny shirt.

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Speaker 1: I love it. I never know what I'm going to

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Speaker 1: say next.

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Speaker 5: Tom Gleason's in the studio very excitingly now, woulds I

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Speaker 5: thought we throw it to a pet topic of yours

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Speaker 5: while Tom is in the studio, Tom by the Way

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Speaker 5: and Sydney Comedy Festivals, Comedy dot com dot or you

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Speaker 5: if you want to see him.

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Speaker 4: Tom, you're a bald man, yes, been balled for a while.

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Speaker 1: That's right. And of course I've got too much testosterone.

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Speaker 1: That's a fact. That's why you lose your hair, is

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Speaker 1: it really?

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Speaker 3: Yeah? Nice?

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm more fertile.

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Speaker 3: A couple of bald brothers in the studio. It's not

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Speaker 3: that can't be true.

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Speaker 1: It is true. Yeah, so you can. You've got a

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Speaker 1: full head of hair, but that comes at a price.

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Speaker 1: You've also got, you know, one sperm cell wrappling around testing,

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Speaker 1: so sorry about that. Whereas I'm I'm potent.

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Speaker 3: You're you're weak.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, well we're potent, just a couple.

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Speaker 4: Of pot in.

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Speaker 1: When I'm walking down the street, everyone I get pregnant.

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Speaker 4: I'm strong.

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Speaker 3: Tom.

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Speaker 4: Would you say, though, of the bald man the Australian

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Speaker 4: media landscape, that you are the most influential bald Man.

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Speaker 1: Well, I'm up there, I think, I mean there are

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Speaker 1: who else is there? Really? I mean that that's the thing.

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Speaker 1: I always thought you wouldn't get to be a game

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Speaker 1: show host because TV hosts tend to have a full

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Speaker 1: head of hair or a to pey to cover for

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Speaker 1: the fat.

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Speaker 4: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, but I thought, no, I've just got to be

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Speaker 1: honest about where I am at in life. I mean,

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Speaker 1: there's Koshi. He's a big deal. He show rates half

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Speaker 1: as much as mine, but he's a big deal, right.

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Speaker 1: I told him to his face on Sunday he had

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Speaker 1: he was he was not happy about it, really, I said, Cosh, Well,

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Speaker 1: of course I won the gold leg because my show

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Speaker 1: rates twice as much as Sunrise. And he was looking

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Speaker 1: at me like, oh yeah, but it's about the cumulative

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Speaker 1: You've heard that one.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, yeah, oh yeah. We've been the masters of Cube

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Speaker 3: for years now.

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Speaker 1: Why accumulate them all to watch my show at the

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Speaker 1: same time. That's how I do it. That's how you

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Speaker 1: get the good rating.

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Speaker 4: So where would you rate? Where would you rate Will McMahon? Then,

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Speaker 4: I mean he's he's got a bit of hair there, yeah,

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Speaker 4: but he's definitely.

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Speaker 1: Going well, yeah he's going out.

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Speaker 3: Well yeah, you can group me in the boald category.

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Speaker 1: Well you'll find that the more hair you lose, the

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Speaker 1: more powerful you can get. That's because I used to

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Speaker 1: have a full head of hair and I was on

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Speaker 1: Channel ten. I mean that was a night here. Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: that low rating piece of the network, that skin. Of

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Speaker 1: course you love Channel ten, but I don't have that

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Speaker 1: commercial arrangement, so I can save it a one.

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Speaker 4: Actually I was on Channel ten.

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Speaker 1: I was on Channel Hair and no one cared as

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Speaker 1: soon as all my hair fell out got a goldlight.

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Speaker 5: I was watching a sketch of you the other day.

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Speaker 5: My brother sent it to me, the Australian Fast Bowler sketch. Yes,

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Speaker 5: And then I looked at it and I was like,

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Speaker 5: oh my god, that's Tom Gleeson.

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Speaker 3: Is that a wig in that sketch?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Absolutely, you know it's really stupid. Is that so

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Speaker 1: this strain fast Bowler? If you got to cast your

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Speaker 1: mind back, it was essentially like Dennis Lelly.

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Speaker 5: Sketch of all Time. It's just the Australian Ball of

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Speaker 5: rocking up to save the day.

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Speaker 1: But he's like Superman. He bowls a ball and gets

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Speaker 1: a cat out of a tree. But I'm dressed up

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Speaker 1: like a seventies Australian cricket, like Dennis Willia. I used

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Speaker 1: to wear a wig and I had glue on a mustache,

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Speaker 1: and I also had this black chest hair. Because black hair,

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Speaker 1: I stepped to glue it on. And I was talking

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Speaker 1: to the makeup artist just the other day. She was

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Speaker 1: working on hard quiz and we're reminiscing out with you.

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Speaker 1: I had to know. She just turned up listening and

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Speaker 1: we were laughing about how we used to always have

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Speaker 1: to tear the chest hair off my chest hair and

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Speaker 1: she said to me, twenty years later, we should have

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Speaker 1: just dyed your chest hair black. And I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: ripping it off it was so painful. She's like, we

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Speaker 1: should have just died it black. Literally, we glued chest

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Speaker 1: hair onto my chest hair, sketch the air. It was torture,

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Speaker 1: a lot of fun, but then after you have to

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Speaker 1: rip everything off.

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Speaker 4: Reminds me of Christian Bale and Gary Oldman. Christian Bale

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Speaker 4: put on a lot of weight for his move where.

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Speaker 1: He played Dick Cheney. Dick Dick Cheney, Yes, the vice President.

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Speaker 1: He asked Gary Oldman. He said, how do you go

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Speaker 1: putting on all the way to play Churchill? Did you

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Speaker 1: struggle with that? And Gary Olban goes to mate, it's

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Speaker 1: a body start.

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Speaker 5: Yeah, Tom, you gotta get out of here. ABC's Wednesday

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Speaker 5: Night is where you can see Hard Quiz, that high

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Speaker 5: rating TV show.

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Speaker 3: Not like they need any others to go and check

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Speaker 3: that one out.

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Speaker 5: But he is performing comedy in Melbourne in Sydney stand

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Speaker 5: up Comedies back Big, big year for and the Sydney

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Speaker 5: Comedy First.

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Speaker 1: It's a lot to laugh at too, and as you heard.

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Speaker 5: There are no international comedians coming in so we own

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Speaker 5: this festival. Sharks are swooping a comedy dot com. Tom

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Speaker 5: show is called Lighten Up, Mate, Thanks so much for coming,

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Speaker 5: Thank you so much.

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Speaker 3: Hear more of the boys on the Poll Show podcast.

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Speaker 1: You know you want two