Speaker 1: I heard podcasts, hear more Kiss podcast playlist and listen
Speaker 1: live on the Free. iHeart app A good pickup with
Speaker 1: Britt Hockley and Laura ben Bady.
Speaker 2: Your work, our windows done. That's my world.
Speaker 3: Reason the dust, only good fabs.
Speaker 4: Are all down. I don't much now, but yeah, I
Speaker 4: know I'll big get and what I want.
Speaker 2: It don't matter where does This is the pickup?
Speaker 1: Happy hum day everyone? It is the pick up with
Speaker 1: Britt Hockey and Laura brn Hey.
Speaker 3: I don't think this is accurate. Producer Grace just before
Speaker 3: we started, I'm actually quiet.
Speaker 1: You should be offended.
Speaker 3: I'm actually really offended.
Speaker 2: Actually, the more I think about it.
Speaker 4: We were just talking before the break and producer Grace
Speaker 4: pops up.
Speaker 3: I said to her, do you hate us as a joke?
Speaker 1: No, it's because you were doing I can't remember exactly.
Speaker 4: What you were doing.
Speaker 2: You were being annoying.
Speaker 1: And then you said, I think producer Grace hates us.
Speaker 1: Sorry Grace, and we know you love us.
Speaker 3: Grace came back and said something that shook me to
Speaker 3: my call.
Speaker 4: She says, I think everybody hates somebody two percent, so
Speaker 4: that's normal.
Speaker 1: No, she said, I think everybody hates everybody two percent.
Speaker 1: Grace honestly believes in her soul. You can take a
Speaker 1: second to defend yourself.
Speaker 2: I stand by this. I'm not going to say I
Speaker 2: didn't mean this. So you hate me two percent? No,
Speaker 2: I just hate is a strong word.
Speaker 4: You use it, but I know it's a part of
Speaker 4: life that you get annoyed by people.
Speaker 3: Sometimes I annoy it is love people.
Speaker 1: But you go, oh gosh, that's annoying Grace. No, genuinely,
Speaker 1: she stands by it that every single person she's ever
Speaker 1: come in contact with she hates them by minimum two percent.
Speaker 2: I don't think there's a single person in this.
Speaker 1: World that you love everything about. Hang on, let's just
Speaker 1: let's just because they annoying me. But I don't they
Speaker 1: don't have two I don't have two percent hate for them. No,
Speaker 1: that's the incorrect.
Speaker 2: Let's just get this.
Speaker 3: Clear silence on set. Do you hate us two percent?
Speaker 3: It's yes or no?
Speaker 5: No, Well then you're telling me sometimes, Laura, we talk
Speaker 5: a lot about dating and reliefationships here and online dating
Speaker 5: and how crazy the world can be.
Speaker 3: And I've always felt really sorry for a lot of
Speaker 3: people that.
Speaker 4: Are single and trying, like really hard to find the
Speaker 4: love of their life, their penguin, their lobster, whatever you
Speaker 4: want to call it.
Speaker 2: But there's a lobster. Yeah, lobsters mate for life as well,
Speaker 2: do they?
Speaker 3: Yeah, a lobster.
Speaker 1: I take it back for laughing. I'm so sorry to
Speaker 1: not laugh at me such important facts.
Speaker 2: I had a lot of animal facts.
Speaker 4: A right, okay, whatever, We'll talk animal facts another day.
Speaker 3: So there's a thread online that's made me realize why.
Speaker 2: So many people might be single.
Speaker 4: People are posting the pettiest reasons that they dumped somebody,
Speaker 4: Like I mean, I think about the reasons I've broken
Speaker 4: up with cin past I once broke up with someone
Speaker 4: because they.
Speaker 3: Farted too much.
Speaker 1: Like, No, I feel like petty reasons though, it's like
Speaker 1: that's the thing that you can attach something to, Like
Speaker 1: you didn't get a vibe there was like obviously something
Speaker 1: was missing already.
Speaker 2: No, the fights were so bad. And on top of that,
Speaker 2: he had a single bed.
Speaker 4: I realized we could have bought a bigger bed, but
Speaker 4: I just like, it wasn't there.
Speaker 1: I mean, yeah, it is a single dude with a
Speaker 1: single bed.
Speaker 2: He wasn't single. We were dating. That was the whole point.
Speaker 2: I stopped you.
Speaker 1: I once dated a guy who only had the mattress
Speaker 1: on the floor and no top sheet. I think that's
Speaker 1: way worse than a single bed.
Speaker 2: Okay, no, we think that's bad.
Speaker 4: Have her listened to some of the reasons people are
Speaker 4: dumping their partners. One person says she dumped her partner
Speaker 4: because he failed to wish her a safe flight when
Speaker 4: she was going away for the weekend.
Speaker 1: Well, I mean something could have happened. I mean he
Speaker 1: didn't care about her.
Speaker 4: Okay, I cut him off when he didn't make sure
Speaker 4: I got home safe after our date because my future
Speaker 4: husband would never Also.
Speaker 1: These things just pertain to a bit of chivalry, right,
Speaker 1: Like they just want someone who's got a bit more
Speaker 1: chivalry to them, cares about them, thinks about them.
Speaker 4: Well, we put it out to you guys as well.
Speaker 4: We wanted to get some people to write in. But
Speaker 4: some of them are Like one person said, he flipped
Speaker 4: the steak too many times when cooking it, like kept
Speaker 4: slipping it over every thirty seconds.
Speaker 1: I kind of get this one. He made himself a
Speaker 1: coffee in his kitchen right in front of me and
Speaker 1: didn't make me one or even offer I think that
Speaker 1: that is like I kind of get that it's just inconsiderate.
Speaker 2: I listened to this. No, he was waving to me
Speaker 2: outside the shops.
Speaker 3: Then he turned away and rollerbladed away from me.
Speaker 2: That is funny. I think there's something.
Speaker 4: I don't think I can date someone that's like dropping
Speaker 4: me at the store on rollerblades.
Speaker 1: I got one. He wrote every sentence on a new
Speaker 1: line within a text message. It looked like a poem
Speaker 1: and it gave me the ick. Also, do you remember
Speaker 1: back in the day when you used to pay like
Speaker 1: multiple text message, Like every x amount of characters was
Speaker 1: like a new text message. You get charged for it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, okay, he kept writing hay hy instead of hating text.
Speaker 4: I mean, guys, I think you've been a little bit
Speaker 4: fussy here.
Speaker 1: Like I don't understand when people will write off dating
Speaker 1: someone because of like bad grammar or something like that.
Speaker 1: I understand that we kind of can have like a
Speaker 1: bit of a an elitist status when it comes to
Speaker 1: like how people write text messages or they communicate, or
Speaker 1: people that use too much abbreviations. But all that stuff
Speaker 1: can be changed. You can, you know, you can kind
Speaker 1: of improve.
Speaker 2: For give them a dictionary you can change. Then you
Speaker 2: can change a person paid. We have Kaylor on the line. Kayler,
Speaker 2: did you dump someone for a petty reason?
Speaker 6: I did. Dental hygiene is paramount to me, and I
Speaker 6: noticed that he had really bad build up of plaque
Speaker 6: on his bottom teeth, and it was an instant. No,
Speaker 6: I can't sold our football date that night, and I
Speaker 6: said to him the next day, I'm.
Speaker 1: Out, okay. I don't think it's petty's. I think, yeah,
Speaker 1: you're safeguarding your future because you would have had to
Speaker 1: have made out with that mouth. That's just that's just.
Speaker 3: I think thinking is with.
Speaker 2: The rule around this.
Speaker 3: He's like, if you can see the plaque from a distance,
Speaker 3: it's too much.
Speaker 7: Oh yeah, exactly.
Speaker 1: No, I'm actually I'm okay with that one. I won
Speaker 1: some didn't go out with a guy again because he
Speaker 1: had very, very clammy hands. I was just remembering it.
Speaker 1: We were walking down the main street and he held
Speaker 1: my hand and I was like, wow, that's very wet hand.
Speaker 1: And then it was like hours later and he held
Speaker 1: my hand again and I was like, oh my god,
Speaker 1: his hand is so wet. He's just clammy, and I just, yeah,
Speaker 1: it was too much.
Speaker 2: It might have been.
Speaker 3: Nervous your beauty might have blown away so much that
Speaker 3: he was so nice.
Speaker 2: Hey, we got gen on the line, Jen.
Speaker 3: Did you dump someone for a stupid reason?
Speaker 8: Yes? What he decided that to impress me and wants
Speaker 8: to cook eggs for breakfast and ye, and he had
Speaker 8: a frying pan, a nonstick frying pan, and pretty much
Speaker 8: half of it was filled with oil, and when he
Speaker 8: put the egg in, it was swimming in oil, and
Speaker 8: I thought that was it.
Speaker 1: So he was deep frying his fried egg and you
Speaker 1: had a yeah, okay, look, you can also tell him
Speaker 1: just to use less oil.
Speaker 4: Hang on, just to clarify, was it the fact that
Speaker 4: he used oil non stick pan or was the fact
Speaker 4: that he used oil because it's unhealthy?
Speaker 8: I think both, And I think it was he was
Speaker 8: a bit confused because he thought we were going well.
Speaker 8: But you know, in his defense, I think it was
Speaker 8: just a rebound guy and I just needed anything to you.
Speaker 1: This is what I think. I agree. I'm like, if
Speaker 1: you're finding reasons out of that petty to break out
Speaker 1: with someone, you know you're not that into it.
Speaker 4: Of course, he could possibly be thought was going well,
Speaker 4: he took your way and he's cooking your breakfast and
Speaker 4: you're like, nah, yeah.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, thank you.
Speaker 1: No, I stick by that. I reckon that people are
Speaker 1: just looking for an easy out. Dating is hard enough.
Speaker 1: You're not ruling someone out because they use a bit
Speaker 1: too much oil in a pan. Now the pluck for me,
Speaker 1: I'm out there. Yeah yeah, no, I agree. Now, Britt,
Speaker 1: you might remember a few weeks back, we were speaking
Speaker 1: about there's kind of been this real change and shift
Speaker 1: in perceptions around letting your kids sleep over at people's houses.
Speaker 1: And there's a debate that's been happening online as to whether, firstly,
Speaker 1: what is the right age, and as to whether it's
Speaker 1: the right thing for your kids' safety to let them
Speaker 1: sleep over at friends' houses. And it's an interesting one
Speaker 1: because we talked about it, it blew up on socials.
Speaker 1: I don't know how I feel about it as a
Speaker 1: mum to two little girls, because I have seen some
Speaker 1: truly harrowing stories that have been shared on social media
Speaker 1: about horrible things that have happened on sleepovers. But I
Speaker 1: also know that it's kind of like, I write a
Speaker 1: passage for kids, and we all did it as kids,
Speaker 1: and it's some of the best memories. Even though you
Speaker 1: come back tired and no one slept, and like you know,
Speaker 1: also has a downside.
Speaker 4: You know what, I the only thing I'll quickly had
Speaker 4: to before because I know it's serious. But my best
Speaker 4: friend reminded me on the weekend. We've been best friends
Speaker 4: for thirty years and we used to say each other's
Speaker 4: house all the time. She's like, remember how every time
Speaker 4: we'd have a sleepover, you'd only come if you liked
Speaker 4: what we had for dinner.
Speaker 1: Like I used to say, are you reading?
Speaker 2: She's like, want to save tonight? And I was like,
Speaker 2: what's for dinner?
Speaker 3: I was like eight?
Speaker 2: She told me if I did like it, I wouldn't go.
Speaker 1: I like that you had strong boundaries even as an
Speaker 1: eight year old, did I knew what I wanted?
Speaker 2: Well, look, it.
Speaker 1: Really did blow up on socials, so many people were
Speaker 1: discussing the fore and against it. There's a lot of
Speaker 1: families who are kind of taking the rout now of
Speaker 1: not letting their kids go to sleepovers. But then there's
Speaker 1: also people who think that maybe we're wrapping our kids
Speaker 1: too much. In Cotton boll Someone who did slide into
Speaker 1: our DMS is Genevieve Mua now jen Is. She's an
Speaker 1: Obstretix social worker, and she also has the business connected parenting,
Speaker 1: and it was really nice to chat to someone who
Speaker 1: actually has insight into this. Not only does she have
Speaker 1: four boys herself, but she's helped a lot of parents
Speaker 1: across the country manage what is a great way of
Speaker 1: finding a middle ground in this, Jen, welcome to the show.
Speaker 7: Thank you so much for having me.
Speaker 4: Guys, Jen, I'm assuming the middle ground isn't asking what
Speaker 4: they've got for dinner.
Speaker 7: I love that though. That is brilliant. I'm asking that next.
Speaker 7: So I get asked on the sleepover for sure?
Speaker 1: Do you think that it's something that parents should be
Speaker 1: particularly concerned about or do you feel as though that
Speaker 1: maybe there has been I guess a bit of fear
Speaker 1: mungering happening online and on social media at the moment
Speaker 1: around this whole sleepover debate.
Speaker 9: I think it's hard to be a parent in general
Speaker 9: these days. One of the things that I think is
Speaker 9: a good thing, right is there's been a massive social
Speaker 9: change in our understanding of what the risk to kids
Speaker 9: are and we now know that when it comes to
Speaker 9: those risks or when things happen to kids that we
Speaker 9: would like to protect them from ninety percent of the
Speaker 9: time that happens at the hands of someone we know
Speaker 9: and trust. Now, that's why the sleepover thing has become
Speaker 9: an issue. Now think back to the old days where
Speaker 9: we thought the risk was strangers totally and that's what
Speaker 9: we want kids about, and we now.
Speaker 7: Know how we had that wrong.
Speaker 9: So I love that p have access to the right
Speaker 9: information now about how to protect their kids. You know,
Speaker 9: we could say that's.
Speaker 10: No sleepovers ever, but we let.
Speaker 9: Our kids go online where so many similar tricky things
Speaker 9: can happen online. Right, So what we really want to
Speaker 9: do is start to have a sense of, well, who
Speaker 9: is my.
Speaker 10: Kid, where are they going? So how well do I
Speaker 10: know that family?
Speaker 9: In terms of my kids, I'm looking.
Speaker 7: For certain levels of skill. Is my child at.
Speaker 9: An age where they absolutely know they could come to
Speaker 9: me if they felt uncomfortable, they could ask to go home,
Speaker 9: could they communicate that if they needed to. If my
Speaker 9: child has those skills, if I have someone in my
Speaker 9: life where I really trust and I've known them.
Speaker 7: For a while, then that's a really.
Speaker 9: Different thing than if they don't have those skills, and
Speaker 9: I want to kind of acknowledge they'd.
Speaker 10: Be single parents that do not have an.
Speaker 9: Option if they're doing shipwork, then to have sometimes the
Speaker 9: village step in and support them. We might have great
Speaker 9: relatives and grandparents, we might have really close family friends that.
Speaker 7: We've known and we intimately know really well.
Speaker 9: So I think it's also about every situation is different.
Speaker 9: But the final thing that we can all do from
Speaker 9: a really young age, and that is really talk openly
Speaker 9: and honestly to your kids about a couple of key things.
Speaker 10: One is you know the normal names.
Speaker 9: Of body parts, and kind of making sure we have
Speaker 9: open and honest conversations about those things.
Speaker 7: Teaching our kids things.
Speaker 9: Like you don't have to hug your uncle if you
Speaker 9: don't want to, you can give them a high five.
Speaker 9: So that's body autonomy and having a sense of that
Speaker 9: stuff from a really young age. And the final thing,
Speaker 9: and I think this matters more than anything else, there
Speaker 9: is nothing you could.
Speaker 7: Ever do or say that would make me love you less.
Speaker 9: There's nothing you can't tell me I will always believe you.
Speaker 9: And that one you have to keep saying from the
Speaker 9: beginning all the way through. You know, at sixteen we're
Speaker 9: still saying the same thing. You're going out tonight. There
Speaker 9: is nothing that could happen or that you could do
Speaker 9: where you can't call me and I wouldn't be there
Speaker 9: on your side to help you.
Speaker 1: Jen, out of curiosity, how old are your kids when
Speaker 1: you let them sleep over at people's houses?
Speaker 9: So look really different ages depending on the child. But
Speaker 9: like I think, if we were to say like a
Speaker 9: good age in general, I think it's probably somewhere upwards
Speaker 9: of maybe eight ish. I know there's been some guidelines
Speaker 9: put out by the government where they're saying from about eleven.
Speaker 9: I think that's quite old myself, because most kids will
Speaker 9: go on their first school camp.
Speaker 7: At around eleven.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I mean you don't think about that too. I
Speaker 1: remember going on the school camp lucky. My mum never
Speaker 1: really let us stay at people's houses, but they always
Speaker 1: stay to ours, so I was kind of used to
Speaker 1: the sleepover environment. Oh got ours everywhere I did out.
Speaker 1: I didn't know your mum also had four kids, and
Speaker 1: she was like, just get one of them out of
Speaker 1: the house.
Speaker 2: That we kids, and they were all working. They were
Speaker 2: like find a friend today somewhere else.
Speaker 1: Thanking so much, Jen, thanks for joining the show.
Speaker 7: Absolute pleasure. Guys.
Speaker 1: There is an etiquette when it comes to Facebook marketplace right,
Speaker 1: Like it's kind of an unspoken edite about how you
Speaker 1: interact with the buyer and the seller and what you
Speaker 1: do when you've got to pick the thing up from
Speaker 1: their house and X y Z, Like I think most
Speaker 1: people know how to be when it comes to me
Speaker 1: like a place.
Speaker 4: It's pretty annoying though, like how many conversations you have
Speaker 4: about how much something is?
Speaker 3: Can you do a better price? You talk to them
Speaker 3: for like where are you when's a good time?
Speaker 4: You talked to them for like three days about picking
Speaker 4: up saying for twenty bucks and then they're like not and.
Speaker 1: Then then they go stray yeah, and you're like.
Speaker 3: What just wasting my life?
Speaker 1: We were talking about funny experiences that we'd had off
Speaker 1: the back of it, because everyone's had like a bit
Speaker 1: of a cooked experience if you've used it enough times.
Speaker 1: I had something happened recently where I was. I wasn't
Speaker 1: even selling it. I was giving away a coffee table.
Speaker 1: I was like, just someone come and take this coffee
Speaker 1: table off my hands. And this man came into my house.
Speaker 1: I was there with the kids, Matt wasn't home. He
Speaker 1: comes into the house. Forty five minutes later he is
Speaker 1: still in my house having a chat. Lovely English guy.
Speaker 1: He's moving to Australia. Just give me his life story.
Speaker 3: Maybe he's trying to make some new friends.
Speaker 1: Maybe he was talking about his wife. His wife was
Speaker 1: having a baby. Then he wanted to know about the dog,
Speaker 1: and I was like, please just take the coffee table
Speaker 1: and get out of my house.
Speaker 2: I'll pay you to go.
Speaker 1: Yeah. I was like, I'll give you the twenty dollars
Speaker 1: to lead anyway, I had to pretend like I needed
Speaker 1: to go and have a shower and that the kids
Speaker 1: need a nat. My kid's full. She doesn't nask.
Speaker 2: He's like, I'll watch the kids, want you shall But.
Speaker 1: There was one story that came up produce the grace
Speaker 1: here she is. I don't think that anyone could top
Speaker 1: the Facebook marketplace story that you had. There was a
Speaker 1: lot of trust that was put in you. Yes there was.
Speaker 4: But my wife, Diana, she is the sort of person
Speaker 4: that gets really into hobbies and just loves buying everything
Speaker 4: before she's even had to go at it. So a
Speaker 4: couple of weeks ago she was like, I want to
Speaker 4: get really into surfing. Has never surfed in her life,
Speaker 4: and she was like, this is my thing now. So
Speaker 4: he organized this meet up to get this surfboard off
Speaker 4: Facebook marketplace. The guy was like, you know what, I'm
Speaker 4: actually out for the day, but I'm going to pop
Speaker 4: it next to this table blah blah blah in the garage.
Speaker 1: And I was like, great, we're sweet.
Speaker 2: We drove an.
Speaker 1: Hour and a half there. How much was he charging
Speaker 1: for it?
Speaker 4: Surfboard in the garage? Aaron down South, down South?
Speaker 1: But it was a good price, good price, work the drive, great.
Speaker 4: Surfboard looked good for beginners. We're like, were set, and
Speaker 4: I was like, I will indulge you this once, but
Speaker 4: this will be the last surfboard you're buying anyway. So
Speaker 4: we get there, find the surfboard exactly where he said,
Speaker 4: next to the table, and then we're like, okay, it's
Speaker 4: not going to fit in the car.
Speaker 2: We're going to have to rope it to the roof.
Speaker 4: So we're in the kind of mentality of if he
Speaker 4: can't tie knots, tie loots, so we have like seven
Speaker 4: that's the saying. So we've tied it all down. We're
Speaker 4: driving back on the freeway. We're like, we've nailed this,
Speaker 4: but then the surfboard starts flapping.
Speaker 2: The wind that gets under surfboard on the roof of
Speaker 2: your car.
Speaker 1: We're about to lose this surfboard that we've just purchased.
Speaker 2: My wife's new hobby.
Speaker 4: Who's so excited about it. It's flapping, it's flapping, and
Speaker 4: we're like heart thumping. You can't even pull over because
Speaker 4: it's like a bit on a highway. So we get
Speaker 4: home and we just made it. There's like ropes flying everywhere,
Speaker 4: and we're like, this is so dangerous.
Speaker 1: I cannot believe that we've made it.
Speaker 4: Back with this surfboard a picture of it to send
Speaker 4: it to the guy and go thank you so much.
Speaker 2: We just made it. Was a bit. Hen't know where
Speaker 2: this is going.
Speaker 4: He stented back, that's not my surfboard.
Speaker 3: He just stole some we accidentally we went into the garage.
Speaker 4: It was exactly where he said, but it was his
Speaker 4: roommate's surfboard.
Speaker 1: You stole someone's surfboard, so it was the right I
Speaker 1: thought you went into the wrong house. Yes, No, it
Speaker 1: was the roommate's surfboard, much fancier than the one we
Speaker 1: were picking up. We were like, we've got to steal
Speaker 1: that is did you have to drive it back, had
Speaker 1: to drive all the way back. We learned how to
Speaker 1: tie not its the second time around, so at least
Speaker 1: the surfboard stayed attached to the car. I'm just imagining
Speaker 1: you're getting the surfboard bat. It's so bad, en aughter,
Speaker 1: being tried to a couple of roof racksy like, there
Speaker 1: it is, give me the other one. It's a trade up.
Speaker 2: When I stole that dog from the person's card, you
Speaker 2: thought we were saving it.
Speaker 3: I thought it was lost and I took it from
Speaker 3: the lawn.
Speaker 2: I was like, don't worry, sweet angel, I'm gonna save you.
Speaker 4: I had a fleck two days, and it turns out
Speaker 4: when I finally contacted the owner, he was so grateful.
Speaker 2: He was like, thank you so much for being worried sick.
Speaker 2: And I was like, tell me where you live, I'll
Speaker 2: drop it back. He gave me his address and I
Speaker 2: was like.
Speaker 3: Pretty sure that's where I took it from.
Speaker 4: And I was like you're welcome, Like it's crazy out there,
Speaker 4: be careful.
Speaker 2: Took the dog back, mortified.
Speaker 1: That's so good, Grace. When you first held me that story,
Speaker 1: I thought you'd gone into the wrong house, but you
Speaker 1: didn't have a choice. Returning it since you so evidently
Speaker 1: took the wrong one.