Speaker 1: Hello, my name's Santasha Nabananga Bamblet. I'm a proud yr
Speaker 1: the Order Kerney Whoalbury and a waddery woman. And before
Speaker 1: we get started on She's on the Money podcast, I
Speaker 1: would like to acknowledge the traditional custodians of the land
Speaker 1: of which this podcast is recorded on a wondery country,
Speaker 1: acknowledging the elders, the ancestors and the next generation coming
Speaker 1: through as this podcast is about connecting, empowering, knowledge sharing
Speaker 1: and the storytelling of you to make a difference for
Speaker 1: today and lasting impact for tomorrow.
Speaker 2: Let's get into it. She's on the Money, She's on
Speaker 2: the Money. Hello, and welcome to She's on the Money,
Speaker 2: the podcast for millennials who want financial freedom. My friends,
Speaker 2: today is Friday, which means it is time to get
Speaker 2: the team together and celebrate you our incredible Shees on
Speaker 2: the Money community. Today we'll be sharing our favorite money wins.
Speaker 2: We're going to be helping to answer a juicy money dilemma,
Speaker 2: which this week is all about the best way to
Speaker 2: pay yourself when you run your own business, and we
Speaker 2: unpacked something that has slid into our dms this week
Speaker 2: about friends who never pay you back. Team, Hello, and
Speaker 2: welcome to the show again this week.
Speaker 3: Hello, Hello, Happy Friday.
Speaker 2: Are we excited to be here? Have we had good weeks?
Speaker 4: Yeah?
Speaker 3: Yeah, you sound really convinced on that.
Speaker 4: I can't remember anything that happened.
Speaker 2: We talked about the oils. You threw a sandwich, a sandwich?
Speaker 2: Yeah yeah, yeah, has been a good week.
Speaker 4: What about you?
Speaker 3: Just yeah, nothing exciting. I went to the dentist. I
Speaker 3: a house. I didn't throw a sandwich the house. You're
Speaker 3: move going slowly because this is the first time I've
Speaker 3: ever moved a whole house. Painful, Like I've always had
Speaker 3: housemates up until when I moved in with my partner,
Speaker 3: and obviously then we had all the stuff, so when
Speaker 3: we moved out, had to move all the stuff from that.
Speaker 3: It sucks.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I saw on TikTok you're doing your medicine covered, and
Speaker 2: I was like, relatable content. She has an entire washing
Speaker 2: basket full of medicine cupboard stuff, and I was like, yeah,
Speaker 2: same girl, same. It's painful. And then for worse, when
Speaker 2: you're packing up the house, because I've just done the
Speaker 2: same thing. When you're packing up the house and you're like,
Speaker 2: this requires an entire box what the hell Like, I
Speaker 2: went to Bunnings and bought boxes and I was like,
Speaker 2: well need ten ten boxes? Yeah, no, Victoria, you needed
Speaker 2: fifty boxes. Adam in a mem like what are you doing?
Speaker 2: And then just how much room stuff takes up. It's
Speaker 2: making me want to throw everything I've ever owned out
Speaker 2: because I don't need this. I don't want to.
Speaker 4: Well, you know when you go through a miscellaneous draw
Speaker 4: and all these things you haven't used in years, I
Speaker 4: feel like you need so I need to do right now.
Speaker 2: It's the bottom drawer in my kitchen and I took
Speaker 2: that bottom drawer off the hinges and I tipped it
Speaker 2: into a box. And then when I moved to the
Speaker 2: new house, this is how organized am. Jess is going
Speaker 2: to be horrified because she's like the organization queen. I
Speaker 2: tipped the box into the bottom drawer in the new house.
Speaker 2: That's very cool, Thank you, Thank you. Here all week
Speaker 2: if you would like some extra hair ties, some birthday sparklers,
Speaker 2: or some zip ties, or I'd probably used batteries, that's
Speaker 2: what's in there. But it just made me feel a
Speaker 2: little bit more at home having all my junk in
Speaker 2: the rightful junk draw.
Speaker 4: I love that saving time, saving money, saving space.
Speaker 2: I need to organize that stuff. I'm gonna just pick
Speaker 2: up and drop off. Love it. Just as like I'm
Speaker 2: judging you hardcore majority, all right, well not over your
Speaker 2: dead body is community money wins we love those. That
Speaker 2: is something just can get around. So jess what have
Speaker 2: you got this week for us?
Speaker 3: Some really really good ones this week? My first money
Speaker 3: win comes from Hayley who said money win. My kids
Speaker 3: started preschool, so my daycare fees have harved money loss.
Speaker 3: I now have to pack her lunch box and she
Speaker 3: eats like a grown man, and my grown crow.
Speaker 2: Bill will probably double and she eats like a grown man.
Speaker 2: This just like little preschooler with the oversized You know
Speaker 2: those dumb man meals do you get in the frozen
Speaker 2: food section or green for men? It kills me. I'm like,
Speaker 2: what about that is man's size? That is now just
Speaker 2: a regular size, like regular size frozen meals. I swear
Speaker 2: a diet size. And then those quote man meal You're like,
Speaker 2: that's a normal pasta serving. What are you guys talking about?
Speaker 2: I don't understand almost not enough exactly. You've got to
Speaker 2: get the garlic bread as well, but you got it. Yeah, okay,
Speaker 2: it's rude not to.
Speaker 3: We all love garlic bread. My next time comes from Amy,
Speaker 3: who said money in It. Started my own copy and
Speaker 3: content writing business after absolutely demolishing every episode of the
Speaker 3: Business Bible in a space of a week. I work
Speaker 3: in local governments, so I'm just waiting for approval for
Speaker 3: this secondary employment. But I'm so excited for this journey.
Speaker 1: Is that?
Speaker 2: Do you know how many messages I've had this week
Speaker 2: about the Business Bible? People love the Business Bible, I know,
Speaker 2: but like I've let it sleep. I haven't brought it back.
Speaker 2: But I feel like twenty twenty three has been everybody's year.
Speaker 2: Like I'm hearing from everybody, They're like, you know what,
Speaker 2: this is my year. I think we're far enough out
Speaker 2: of COVID that people are you know what I think
Speaker 2: I do want to change something about my circumstances, or
Speaker 2: do want to start a side hustle, or I want
Speaker 2: to know how to you know, run x y Z.
Speaker 2: So I've probably had like four or five messages this week,
Speaker 2: which I think is a lot of messages. I know,
Speaker 2: you guys probably like Victoria when my mum texts me
Speaker 2: more than that, But five messages. I reckon being like Victoria,
Speaker 2: bring back the business Bible. It's making me think about it.
Speaker 3: It's gonna be what they want. I said, trying.
Speaker 2: I'm trying, but I'm a busy goal It's true.
Speaker 5: All right.
Speaker 3: Well, my next one you win this week comes from Laura,
Speaker 3: who said money. When I took my car for a
Speaker 3: service and they tried to charge me an extra fifty
Speaker 3: dollars for special oil getting the Oh my god, she said.
Speaker 3: I questioned it, and they said, probably should have told
Speaker 3: you first, and they wrote it off straight away.
Speaker 2: Yeah, no, you guys weren't gonna tell me first.
Speaker 1: Were you.
Speaker 2: I don't think the oil specially, No, don't. It's like
Speaker 2: I was at the petrol station the other day. I
Speaker 2: think it was like a cowtext or something, and I
Speaker 2: was just like, you know, when you're feeling your fuel tank,
Speaker 2: you mindlessly stare off at something because you're not meant
Speaker 2: to use your phone, and I find that quite challenging,
Speaker 2: which is probably a personality defect on my behalf. But
Speaker 2: I was looking at the sign where it's like we've
Speaker 2: recently rebranded, and I was like, oh, cute, so they've
Speaker 2: like renamed their petrols and it goes from like petrol
Speaker 2: to special petrol and diesel to special diesel. And I'm like,
Speaker 2: but it didn't change the product, and you only have
Speaker 2: one diesel? Why is it now special diesel? I don't
Speaker 2: get it. I don't get it.
Speaker 4: There are special diesel now, I wonder what that looks like.
Speaker 2: Is it just more expensive?
Speaker 1: Now?
Speaker 2: Why is it called special diesel? If anyone could tell me,
Speaker 2: I'm actually genuinely excited to learn about it because they
Speaker 2: don't understand why they've rebranded the name to special. May
Speaker 2: me feel good putting in my car that. I'm like,
Speaker 2: this is clearly better than the you know, the cow
Speaker 2: takes down the road special diesel.
Speaker 4: I do, that's very impressive.
Speaker 2: Is that actually impressive? I thought I was just going
Speaker 2: to get crucified for not having a hybrid.
Speaker 4: I mean, I don't know enough, but I would maybe
Speaker 4: one day crucify if I know more.
Speaker 2: Yeah, okay, well do you get educated? I will run
Speaker 2: perfect back on track.
Speaker 3: We have another money in here from Grace who said
Speaker 3: win slash loss. I finally hit my sixty K savings
Speaker 3: got but got notified on the same day that I
Speaker 3: had to pay three thousand dollars to get my visa granted.
Speaker 3: At least I'm officially a permanent resident.
Speaker 2: Now, yeah, welcome.
Speaker 3: I'm going to say that one's a little bit wholesome,
Speaker 3: and then I want to round it out today, ladies
Speaker 3: with a money loss and a little bit of an
Speaker 3: update for people who've maybe heard our previous episodes. It
Speaker 3: comes from our friend TJ and she said, hey, guys,
Speaker 3: I just found out something that might be worth mentioning
Speaker 3: on the pod. It turns out the federal government has
Speaker 3: recently abolished the ten percent HEX discount roof if you've
Speaker 3: paid for your course fees up front. I just paid
Speaker 3: ninety percent of my fees last week to now find
Speaker 3: out I still own the remaining ten percent.
Speaker 2: That's insane.
Speaker 3: That's been for money loss, isn't it.
Speaker 2: That is not acceptable. And just when you said it,
Speaker 2: I was like, I didn't think that was a thing,
Speaker 2: Like I haven't seen any updates, And we did some
Speaker 2: little googling and I'm currently on Study Assist dot gov
Speaker 2: dot AU and it says the Hex help upfront discounts
Speaker 2: ceased on the thirty first of December twenty twenty two.
Speaker 2: So I feel like that is a little bit sneaky
Speaker 2: of their behalf to have not said anything. Yeah, I
Speaker 2: also think that that is quite rude, given we know
Speaker 2: that CBI impacts the indexation of our hex rates. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and the fact that they know we're struggling, So it
Speaker 2: would have been nice to keep that kind of discount
Speaker 2: of like, oh, Beck, if you paid off early, like
Speaker 2: you'll get a discount and all. It sucks, but like
Speaker 2: it's the best we can do. So now, if you're
Speaker 2: eligible to make a hex slash help loan repayment, there's
Speaker 2: actually not a lot of black carrot on a stick
Speaker 2: to paid off early. Yeah, why would you really because
Speaker 2: you're not getting that ten percent off, which is essentially
Speaker 2: a ten percent return on you paying off the debt,
Speaker 2: So yeah, just is going to index. So yeah, frustrating,
Speaker 2: but keeping in mind if you're keeping in mind, especially
Speaker 2: if you're going to go pay off your hex debt,
Speaker 2: that's one thing I would say, I guess on the
Speaker 2: flip side, Jess is as much as TJ that sucks.
Speaker 2: I also would really recommend before paying off any type
Speaker 2: of debt, calling up that person or calling up that
Speaker 2: company and saying, well, can you please calculate it? If
Speaker 2: I pay it today, because I remember when I was
Speaker 2: paying off my debt. And this works in every other
Speaker 2: circumstance as well. If you pay off your debt today,
Speaker 2: maybe the interest hasn't been calculated for that week or
Speaker 2: that month yet, and you paid off, and then you
Speaker 2: still have outstanding amounts, so you actually need to get
Speaker 2: the final figure on the day that you're planning on
Speaker 2: paying it. And I would do that as well for
Speaker 2: your hex help debt to make sure. Okay, well I
Speaker 2: know that. You know when I listened to Sheese on
Speaker 2: the Money last year, they said I could get a
Speaker 2: ten percent discount. Make sure before you actually act on anything,
Speaker 2: you triple check it because things like this happen. They
Speaker 2: can abolish things, they can change it. The government is fluid,
Speaker 2: and it sucks. It really sucks. I really wish we
Speaker 2: could help, but unfortunately that's just not the case.
Speaker 3: Yeah, sorry, TJ.
Speaker 2: But like Chris, it's paying off ninety percent of your
Speaker 2: health debt. That's right. That is very impressive.
Speaker 3: It must feel good, mustn't. That's it for this week, ladies.
Speaker 2: Oh my gosh. All right, well let's go to a break,
Speaker 2: because when we get back from the break, I'm going
Speaker 2: to dive into the best way to pay yourself when
Speaker 2: you run your own business. And then we're also talking
Speaker 2: about DM we got this week, which is all about
Speaker 2: friends who never pay you back. And I feel like
Speaker 2: that's a spicy topic, So don't go anywhere, guys.
Speaker 3: Alrighty back from the break and ready to jump into
Speaker 3: a juicy, juicy money dilemma this week?
Speaker 2: What have we got you?
Speaker 3: Guys?
Speaker 4: Hi?
Speaker 2: There, have you got a money dilemma you just can't solve?
Speaker 2: The Sheese on the Money Team is here to help.
Speaker 2: Every week, we tackle your dilemmas, both big and small,
Speaker 2: to answer your most burning money, career and life questions.
Speaker 2: To get involved, simply head to our website and leave
Speaker 2: us a short voice recording and you might just find
Speaker 2: yourself on the show. Now, let's take a listen to
Speaker 2: this week's money dilemma.
Speaker 5: He So, my question for you, guys is regarding small businesses.
Speaker 5: I've worked from home since twenty nineteen as a home hairdresser,
Speaker 5: and then last year I made the move to rent
Speaker 5: a chair and work from a salon. Since moving into
Speaker 5: the salon, I've felt a lot of pressure around what
Speaker 5: I'm doing with my money because I guess I don't
Speaker 5: have the knowledge on that. So my question is what's
Speaker 5: the best way to pay myself being a small business
Speaker 5: and how much should I be putting away for super
Speaker 5: tax the business savings? And I guess it's different each week.
Speaker 5: So I guess if you could give me a percentage
Speaker 5: of how much I should be putting away, that would
Speaker 5: be amazing. And any other information.
Speaker 2: Thank you, Becker. I do think your best place to
Speaker 2: handle this? How would you suggest she moves forward?
Speaker 4: I would say blow it all on things that you
Speaker 4: don't need.
Speaker 2: Oh that's a good suggestion. TVs, mobile phones, TV's and
Speaker 2: mobile phones.
Speaker 3: That's the first thing that you thought of. The people
Speaker 3: don't have TVs, not just one.
Speaker 4: Multiples, several TVs, several mobile phones, and lots of takeout meals.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, it would be the best, but mainly on
Speaker 2: new breats. So you have to pay the fees and
Speaker 2: stuff too, right, yes, yeah, so.
Speaker 4: The small business doesn't get all the money either, would
Speaker 4: be ideal.
Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, that's you are an inspiration. I guess
Speaker 2: that's all we have time for. But I would like
Speaker 2: to chime in because it turns out I really like talking.
Speaker 2: I feel like this is a really good position to
Speaker 2: be in. It sounds like you're absolutely killing it, But
Speaker 2: what you want to do is set up a good
Speaker 2: business cash flow system. Now I will go into it
Speaker 2: at surface level here, but on the Business Bible podcast,
Speaker 2: I did a cash flow Q and A with Moyob
Speaker 2: and I have also talked about exactly how I structure myself,
Speaker 2: so how I pay myself, how I pay my tax,
Speaker 2: how I pay my bills, how I make sure that
Speaker 2: I've got money for payroll, etc. And that I think
Speaker 2: will be really helpful, But it's thirty eight minutes long,
Speaker 2: so I just don't think we have time to answer
Speaker 2: it in that depth. Most small business owners that I've
Speaker 2: worked with historically put aside about thirty percent for tax.
Speaker 2: So business tax is less than thirty percent, but it
Speaker 2: gives you that buffer and makes you feel really confident
Speaker 2: that if anything pops up, you've got a little bit
Speaker 2: of money to the side. And there's nothing better. Honestly,
Speaker 2: as a business owner at tax time, when you have
Speaker 2: to pay your tax and your tax account is not
Speaker 2: empty like that is wild to me. I'm always like, oh,
Speaker 2: I did so well. Then when it comes to GST,
Speaker 2: it can be really helpful having a separate account for
Speaker 2: GST because GST is goods and services tax here in Australia.
Speaker 2: It's kind of like left pocket right pocket. If you're
Speaker 2: charging your clients or your customers GST of ten percent.
Speaker 2: The company doesn't actually get that, they just pass it
Speaker 2: straight onto the government, but it does come into your account,
Speaker 2: so you need to separate it out to make sure
Speaker 2: that if you get paid GST, it does get paid.
Speaker 2: And all of that can usually be automated through an
Speaker 2: accounting software, so like moob or zero or something whatever
Speaker 2: aligns to your values and your budget. But I would
Speaker 2: recommend an accounting software just to keep on top of things.
Speaker 2: Then when it comes to personal finances as a business owner,
Speaker 2: I feel like most people really fall behind on that.
Speaker 2: So they might have nailed their tax, they might have
Speaker 2: nailed their GST. They pay their staff, you know, they
Speaker 2: do their super. But a really important I guess delineation
Speaker 2: is actually treating yourself as a staff member. So what
Speaker 2: are you getting paid, what is your super? How often
Speaker 2: are you going to commit to paying that? Maybe you
Speaker 2: just pay your own super quarterly and once a quarter.
Speaker 2: You go in four times each year and you pay
Speaker 2: your superannuation, but it is really important to pay that.
Speaker 2: There is a book recommendation that we will put in
Speaker 2: these show notes today called profit First, which is a
Speaker 2: bit of a backwards model that I find works really
Speaker 2: well for small businesses who need to change their mindset
Speaker 2: around paying themselves, because if you're not flourishing, how on
Speaker 2: earth is the business flourishing. So as much as we
Speaker 2: are told you should never take profit out for the
Speaker 2: first ten years to build your business, like that's how
Speaker 2: it works, I feel like in twenty twenty three that's
Speaker 2: actually really backwards and making sure that you and your
Speaker 2: family are thriving and surviving and doing well is actually
Speaker 2: going to create long term and more sustainable business. So
Speaker 2: that is where I would go, and I would make
Speaker 2: sure that I check out the Business Bible podcast because
Speaker 2: I feel like that can be really helpful because I
Speaker 2: literally tell you what bank accounts I have, how the
Speaker 2: money goes in, where it goes, what that looks like,
Speaker 2: and I feel like that could be really helpful. I mean,
Speaker 2: it's not advice, because obviously you do you run it
Speaker 2: how it works for you. It's just me explaining how
Speaker 2: I've worked it out over the years to make sure
Speaker 2: it's as functional as possible for me, because if it's
Speaker 2: in front of me, I will spend it, so we
Speaker 2: need to remove it. Any other tips, just you're a freelancer,
Speaker 2: how do you deal with it?
Speaker 3: I don't know if it's a little bit different from
Speaker 3: me because I obviously don't have employees or anything like that,
Speaker 3: Like it's just me. I'm a soft tree.
Speaker 2: But you still have money coming in that you need
Speaker 2: to like pay tax on.
Speaker 3: And yeah, I kind of am a fan of the
Speaker 3: overestimate rather than underestimate, so I put I think between
Speaker 3: thirty five and forty percent aside for tax, and that
Speaker 3: to me just means that there's a buffer like if
Speaker 3: my numbers are wrong or something like that. And then
Speaker 3: at tax time it's kind of like, oh, I get
Speaker 3: some tax refunded, even though it's technically like I had
Speaker 3: it sitting there.
Speaker 2: Already, So which shit makes you feel good?
Speaker 3: Exactly? It makes me feel like I'm getting a refund,
Speaker 3: so that's like bonus money, which is great. And then
Speaker 3: I do not pay myself superannuation because I work a
Speaker 3: normal job that does pay me superannuation, so I, you know,
Speaker 3: would potentially be investing some of those funds. But that's
Speaker 3: not within my super that's outside of it.
Speaker 1: Yeah.
Speaker 2: No, it's interesting to see how people who freelance on
Speaker 2: the side of a full time job deal with their
Speaker 2: finances versus someone who their freelances their full time. But
Speaker 2: as we've said, every financial circumstance is going to be different,
Speaker 2: and the way just manages her money versus I manage
Speaker 2: my money versus any other business owner might be different.
Speaker 2: You actually just have to find a cash flow system
Speaker 2: that works. But there are a few foundational blocks, like
Speaker 2: having a cash hub and then having a tax account
Speaker 2: and having a GST account and making sure that you know,
Speaker 2: even in your business, you have a level of an
Speaker 2: emergency fund to make sure that you're okay. I think
Speaker 2: all of that needs to be the foundations, and then
Speaker 2: after that we can start, you know, tailoring it to
Speaker 2: make it work the best for you. But honestly, having
Speaker 2: an accountant in your back pocket is one of the
Speaker 2: best things in the entire world. Like my account Luis
Speaker 2: shout out he never listens to my podcast because he's
Speaker 2: not my target demographic, and it turns out he's actually
Speaker 2: really financially literate.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I hope so.
Speaker 2: But like he's a good egg doing good things and
Speaker 2: I know his Ea Gran she listens to the pod,
Speaker 2: so hello, Hi.
Speaker 3: Having someone do your tax as well life changing. I
Speaker 3: think yea one did mine for the first time last year,
Speaker 3: and turns out I can claim part of my rent
Speaker 3: because I have a dedicated to talk to someone. Because
Speaker 3: there's a lot of stuff. I would have never known that.
Speaker 3: If someone hadn't said to me, hey, did you know
Speaker 3: you can? Never would have thought of it. So I
Speaker 3: want to be real pervy. How much did you spend
Speaker 3: on an accountant?
Speaker 2: Was it a lot?
Speaker 1: No? It was.
Speaker 3: I want to say, like one hundred and fifty ish,
Speaker 3: But then I can claim it untas next year, so
Speaker 3: it's actually not as bad as people seem to think.
Speaker 1: It is.
Speaker 3: Money, like the amount of money that she's for that referral,
Speaker 3: by the way, thank you.
Speaker 5: So much, well brilliant me.
Speaker 4: Oh what's her name again?
Speaker 1: No?
Speaker 2: No, no, I'll tell you offline because I don't want
Speaker 2: to bombard it. I don't want to bombard it. I
Speaker 2: already send all my friends to it. But it's one
Speaker 2: of those things that I think people assume seeing an
Speaker 2: accountant might be, you know, blowing money out of the water,
Speaker 2: but you know it's not actually the worst, and being
Speaker 2: able to claim it on tax the year after it
Speaker 2: feels good. So you're like, I'm getting a little bit
Speaker 2: more back even though I already spent it. But it's nice.
Speaker 4: Plus I imagine the amount that you're the extra amount
Speaker 4: that you're making through the accountant makes up.
Speaker 2: For spending, and they often think about it. An accountant
Speaker 2: works with businesses every day, so you know, they might
Speaker 2: sit down with Jess and be like, oh, I've got
Speaker 2: another person who does freelance work similar to you, and
Speaker 2: they've actually structured it like this. Have you thought about that?
Speaker 2: And Jess might go, oh, fire out and you didn't
Speaker 2: even know that was an option. So I think having
Speaker 2: the right people in your team or in your court
Speaker 2: or in your corner or whatever we're going to call
Speaker 2: it is actually really constructive because the more people you
Speaker 2: have that help you leverage your business the better. And
Speaker 2: it doesn't have to cost thousands. It could just be
Speaker 2: you know, getting someone to do your tax once a
Speaker 2: year because you're running the financials for the rest of
Speaker 2: the year, and that can actually be really powerful. But
Speaker 2: this is cheese on the money. Let's not go on
Speaker 2: and on about business stuff. As I said, we will
Speaker 2: consider bringing back the Business Bible if people want it enough.
Speaker 3: Excellent advice for you, not that i'd expect anything less
Speaker 3: from you. If you do want to submit your money
Speaker 3: dilima to us, though, make sure you're head to our
Speaker 3: website because we have this fancy little thing in there
Speaker 3: called Telby. You can automatically record it. It's so quick
Speaker 3: and easy. We'll have it linked in the show notes,
Speaker 3: so if you've got something you want to share with us,
Speaker 3: click the link. We'd love to hear from you. All right, now,
Speaker 3: let's get into a juicy, juicy DM that's slid in
Speaker 3: this week, because I feel like it was very controversial
Speaker 3: when we put it up on Instagram, And if you're
Speaker 3: not following us on Instagram, you should be because we're
Speaker 3: talking about all the spicy things whereat she's on the
Speaker 3: money a us.
Speaker 2: As a twenty twenty three News resolution for me to
Speaker 2: just be spicier in general as a human. So this
Speaker 2: is where it started.
Speaker 3: I feel like you're really succeeding, especially with this one.
Speaker 3: Do you want me to read it out?
Speaker 2: I do, Let's go.
Speaker 3: Our friend said, Hey, V loving these dms hopefully you
Speaker 3: can help me out this week. I have a group
Speaker 3: of girlfriends and we go and have quite a few
Speaker 3: social outings together. There is one friend in my group
Speaker 3: who just never transfers us if we can't split a bill.
Speaker 3: She never offers to pay, and for some reason, never transfers.
Speaker 3: She never offers to order the uber, and her split
Speaker 3: fair never works. I don't know how to approach this
Speaker 3: with her, but we are all getting quite fed up
Speaker 3: with it, thoughts.
Speaker 2: Understandably fed up with it.
Speaker 4: I feel so.
Speaker 5: Frust I know.
Speaker 3: And it's the use of the word never, like I
Speaker 3: feel like I just never never, never, never, never, And
Speaker 3: that just makes you feel her frustration through this.
Speaker 2: She never does it, and then she never does this,
Speaker 2: and then she never Do you really want this friend
Speaker 2: as a friend, because friends don't do that to friends.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 3: I get the not maybe putting everybody's dinner bill on
Speaker 3: your card, because not everyone can necessarily afford to foot
Speaker 3: a bill for eight people, but that's.
Speaker 2: Not even what we're talking about. She doesn't transfer the
Speaker 2: friends that coughed up the dinner bill that's you to
Speaker 2: pay back.
Speaker 3: Because then like they're doing you a favor by putting
Speaker 3: let's say a couple of hundred dollars on their card,
Speaker 3: and then if you don't pay, they're like they've just
Speaker 3: brought your dinner for reasons.
Speaker 4: Yeah, it's a paying for everyone is let's say five
Speaker 4: people only three paid. That's a huge chunk. That's three
Speaker 4: times whatever that's out of your account that you're down.
Speaker 4: You know, so everyone when it comes to those situations,
Speaker 4: if not everyone's paying, it's just such a huge amount
Speaker 4: to be paying for you.
Speaker 3: The system doesn't work. It doesn't mean if you don't work,
Speaker 3: this doesn't work.
Speaker 2: It's disrespectful. I genuinely think it's disrespectful of the friendship
Speaker 2: because Jesse, if you were like, oh, I pop it
Speaker 2: on my card and I'll transfer, You'll be like okay, cool,
Speaker 2: no worries. Can I do it right now? Like yeah,
Speaker 2: And I'm that person who has worked out pay ID
Speaker 2: and even if you haven't given me your bank details,
Speaker 2: I just know that I can pay ID you the
Speaker 2: money because I just don't want to owe you anything
Speaker 2: because I just feel like that's awful. It gives me
Speaker 2: the ick. Beck have you ever had this?
Speaker 4: I have had this. It's so you have awkward I
Speaker 4: have I have. It's just so awkward because how do you, like,
Speaker 4: how do you bring it up with your friend? Like
Speaker 4: it's just you know that when they usually have the
Speaker 4: intention is what they It seems like they seem like
Speaker 4: they have the intention to pay back, but unfortunately it
Speaker 4: never comes and then like chasing that up becomes very
Speaker 4: very uncomfortable, and so you end up just letting it go.
Speaker 4: But how many times can you just let it go
Speaker 4: before you like owed so much money? But yes, it
Speaker 4: has happened to me. I've had a friend like that
Speaker 4: and they how.
Speaker 2: Many times do you send like a follow up of like, hey, beck,
Speaker 2: I haven't seen it in my account yet, and they
Speaker 2: always reply like yeah, it's oh maybe I'm with a
Speaker 2: different bank and it hasn't gone through it. Like I
Speaker 2: feel like I don't know how to navigate that I should.
Speaker 4: You know, usually is like oh, I've really genuinely forgotten
Speaker 4: to pay you back, and they are really bad at remembering.
Speaker 4: So my cutoff is about two reminders and then I'm done.
Speaker 4: And then I'm like I'm never gonna see this money
Speaker 4: again and I just have to deal with that. But yeah,
Speaker 4: it's unfair when people do that. It's really unfair I'm like, UV,
Speaker 4: I feel so uncomfortable when someone buys me something. If
Speaker 4: they don't give me their bank account details, I'm going
Speaker 4: to look up their mobile. I'll find them somehow. That
Speaker 4: money's coming back. And I wish everyone was like that.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I would pay back dinner if you paid for it.
Speaker 4: It's so nice, thank you.
Speaker 2: Yeah, or maybe I wouldn't. I don't know you're getting
Speaker 2: paid heaps now a big dog.
Speaker 4: That's true, but it is worth mentioning because we did
Speaker 4: talk about scarcity mindset earlier this week. We did maybe
Speaker 4: the people out there that are really hesitant to pay
Speaker 4: people back or to split a bill or to share
Speaker 4: a bill are those who are really scared and genuinely
Speaker 4: anxious about spending money, but they still want to be
Speaker 4: included in social outings.
Speaker 2: So that's something I can understand. Yeah, look, I can
Speaker 2: see where that's coming from. But I think that there's
Speaker 2: a line being crossed there. So like obviously going, oh,
Speaker 2: I don't want to go out, Like sorry, Jess, if
Speaker 2: you invited me out for dinner, like I can't come
Speaker 2: because oh, like spending too much or whatever. It is,
Speaker 2: Like I feel like scarcity mindset in that aspect it's
Speaker 2: impacting only you. But the second that I go out
Speaker 2: for dinner with Jess and then I don't pay Jess back,
Speaker 2: that's financially detrimental to her. And I feel like that's
Speaker 2: really rude. That's crossing a line that shouldn't be crossed.
Speaker 2: And your boundaries are yours. But like she has done
Speaker 2: something really nice for me and paid for it because
Speaker 2: it's just easier, And I think it just is a
Speaker 2: massive test of the relationship that shouldn't have had to happen. Yeah,
Speaker 2: Like I just yeah, if you can't afford to go out,
Speaker 2: don't if you have no intention of paying back your friends,
Speaker 2: take cash, like give it to them in the moment,
Speaker 2: Like I can't think of And I've had to say
Speaker 2: this before. Do you know what I haven't had to
Speaker 2: say it in the recent years. I think it's like
Speaker 2: ten plus years ago, very university student thing. I feel like,
Speaker 2: thankfully I haven't got friends like that nowadays, maybe because
Speaker 2: I ditched them because I don't want friends like that.
Speaker 2: Go figure, But I remember being like, oh, yep, So
Speaker 2: we'd go out for dinner and then I'd have like
Speaker 2: a separate group chat with a couple of people and
Speaker 2: then I'd say, oh oh, posting group chat that we
Speaker 2: all bring cash, because there was always that one person.
Speaker 2: So I'd be like, oh, hey, guys, like, everyone bring cash,
Speaker 2: We'll pay for dinner this way. Like how frustrating? Yeah,
Speaker 2: but frustrating because then we'd have to all get cash
Speaker 2: out because we knew if we didn't do that, this
Speaker 2: particular person wouldn't pay us back. Jess, have you been
Speaker 2: through this? How would you deal with it?
Speaker 3: Not like our friend here on a consistent basis, Like
Speaker 3: we did a big Christmas dinner my group of friends
Speaker 3: and I paid. There was twelve of us, Oh my goodness,
Speaker 3: big bill, which was fine. Like I volunteered. I was
Speaker 3: one who organize it, no stress.
Speaker 2: Why I have no doubt you were the one that
Speaker 2: organized it better, No doubt you would have sent them
Speaker 2: a spreadsheet guaranteed and been like this is the menu,
Speaker 2: this is how much it's going to cost for a head.
Speaker 2: You just tell me you transfer and then I will
Speaker 2: pay for the whole thing. Is that what happened?
Speaker 3: It was very democratic, We voted on them. It was great,
Speaker 3: but there was we paid in couples. One couple hadn't
Speaker 3: paid me and I left it I reckon like three
Speaker 3: or four weeks because I was kind of like, no stress,
Speaker 3: like it's not the end of the world and it's
Speaker 3: not like they've ever not paid me before. I was like,
Speaker 3: you know what, Christmas people are so busy, like it
Speaker 3: really doesn't matter. And then I did end up shooting
Speaker 3: my friend a message and just like, hey, so sorry,
Speaker 3: I don't know if you've maybe transferred it and missed
Speaker 3: a number, because I've done that before, like got a
Speaker 3: number wrong and sent it to the wrong person. And
Speaker 3: I felt so guilty having that conversation. I felt, but
Speaker 3: it was like a good chunk of money. I was like, no,
Speaker 3: I do want to follow it up, but I felt
Speaker 3: so terrible. And then she also felt terrible because she
Speaker 3: had just forgotten and she's okay, so but it was
Speaker 3: like that thing I said to her. We were both
Speaker 3: just like apologizing back and forth. I was like, you
Speaker 3: know what, neither of us don't an apology. Yeah, you
Speaker 3: made a mistake. I did, like I'm just following something up,
Speaker 3: like there's no bad life, but that's.
Speaker 2: A different story and that's so fine.
Speaker 5: Correct.
Speaker 3: I feel like if I was in this circumstance where
Speaker 3: someone owed me for five dinners or something like that.
Speaker 3: I actually would just have the conversation, say, hey, just
Speaker 3: totaled out how much I've spent over the last five
Speaker 3: or six dinners. You owe me three hundred dollars. Oh God,
Speaker 3: just wanted to let you know I'm not financially in
Speaker 3: the position to pay for dinner anymore without that money.
Speaker 3: I feel like the way I would absorb or like
Speaker 3: soften the blow is by trying to point out what
Speaker 3: an impact that was having on me is to say,
Speaker 3: I can't afford to pay for your dinner because you
Speaker 3: owe me so much money, Like I'm now financially stressed
Speaker 3: because of you, And I would hope, like, if you're
Speaker 3: friends with them, surely that would hit home right, And I.
Speaker 2: Would hope because you actually owe no explanation for following
Speaker 2: up something that is rightfully yours, not at all.
Speaker 3: But if that's you know, it sounds like she wants
Speaker 3: to have the conversation gently and kindly, And then if
Speaker 3: that didn't work, I personally would be cutting the cord
Speaker 3: if I'm honest. Yeah, Like, I know that might sound
Speaker 3: a bit harsh, but that it shows such a lack
Speaker 3: of respect, a lack of consideration there's just no reason
Speaker 3: to treat a friend that way.
Speaker 2: Absolutely not.
Speaker 3: So if they're doing it, I'd be going, well, you don't.
Speaker 3: You clearly don't respect me. Yeah, there goes your invitation
Speaker 3: to dinner, Like I'm not footing your bill, you're not invited.
Speaker 2: Yeah, And that would really really frustrate me. It would
Speaker 2: be the natural next step. And I wonder if it's
Speaker 2: just the one person consistently paying, or if everyone in
Speaker 2: the group has to take a bit of a hit
Speaker 2: every single time they go out.
Speaker 3: That's actually a great point. Like if you owe five
Speaker 3: different people fifty bucks running up of talent, you're running
Speaker 3: up a tab and then it's like how do you
Speaker 3: all have the conversation because if you say it in
Speaker 3: a group chat, it feels a bit like a pylon,
Speaker 3: almost like if I got you owe me money, and
Speaker 3: then beck you jump in and go you owe me money,
Speaker 3: and then all of a sudden sit like you don't just.
Speaker 2: Need to get split wise, Yeah, you need to get
Speaker 2: split wise added all up, and then there's one sum
Speaker 2: that you need to pay to one direct person and
Speaker 2: it will make sense. I mean, you could also just
Speaker 2: invoice them formal route and be like, hey, beck, here's
Speaker 2: the invoice for the dinner that we had. Also there's
Speaker 2: a late fee, and the late fee compounds on a
Speaker 2: daily basis. It's fifty percent of the fee.
Speaker 4: I would listen to that. I think the invoice is
Speaker 4: far more intimidating and be like, hey, but then you're
Speaker 4: the rude friend that's sent you invoice for the dinner.
Speaker 4: I would like to do it one time.
Speaker 2: It would be funny, like in voicing something for something
Speaker 2: really petty, like yes, five dollars because I bought your
Speaker 2: fruit tingles at the supermarket because I'm obsessed with fruit
Speaker 2: tingles at the moment. Oh so good. But also we
Speaker 2: had some responses from our community, and I thought we
Speaker 2: could read some of them out because they're kind of
Speaker 2: funny and they agree with us when.
Speaker 1: I like it.
Speaker 2: So one person said, never lend money, you're not willing
Speaker 2: to lose, but poor form from them. A conversation needs
Speaker 2: to be had or just let her go. Someone else said,
Speaker 2: make sure you go to a place where they're split billing,
Speaker 2: which I think is smart honestly. But even with split billings,
Speaker 2: sometimes like there's that kerfuffle at exit and maybe there's
Speaker 2: like five of you and it's just too hard, and
Speaker 2: you're like, I'll pop it on my cart, Like that
Speaker 2: is your friend doing you a service? That makes sense, Like,
Speaker 2: don't respect it because you could have just paid for
Speaker 2: it then and there, and it would have been a
Speaker 2: bill that you had to foot. Someone said, one of
Speaker 2: my sisters does this. We now just don't include her
Speaker 2: in group presence or any type of group expenses.
Speaker 3: That's like that there goes into the invitation thing like very.
Speaker 2: Little sister thing to do.
Speaker 3: Yeah, oh aboute Yeah, the oldest sister.
Speaker 1: You know what.
Speaker 2: Kudos to Alex. She always pays me back. And I'm
Speaker 2: always surprised because I'm like, if I was a little sister,
Speaker 2: I wouldn't do that.
Speaker 4: You don't have to.
Speaker 2: No, I feel like that's the one rule that gets
Speaker 2: to jump over this. Someone said, it's a lack of
Speaker 2: respect and it means that it was never a real
Speaker 2: friendship in the first place. I think that's fair. Someone
Speaker 2: else said, honestly, I'd just stop inviting them and then
Speaker 2: drift apart and not tell them why that's fair nor worries.
Speaker 2: Someone said, I just sneakily get them to quote pay
Speaker 2: back by doing errands or chores for me.
Speaker 3: Come over, become my slave exically.
Speaker 2: But I don't think that's the way it should go now,
Speaker 2: Like no, like, oh yes, I'll behave you donate hu
Speaker 2: moow my lawn, Like it's just not gonna work.
Speaker 3: Bartering system, babe.
Speaker 2: So I feel like the summary of all of this
Speaker 2: is basically everyone says, stop inviting them, stop allowing situations
Speaker 2: like this where they owe you. Obviously they can't be
Speaker 2: trusted with that. A lot of you have said cut
Speaker 2: the friendship because you think it is disrespectful, but I
Speaker 2: feel like, from my perspective, there needs to be a
Speaker 2: conversation that's had. And I think that you know you
Speaker 2: mentioned it before, Jess, you're the same as me, Like
Speaker 2: if I had to ask someone for something, I pit
Speaker 2: a potter around it and go, oh my gosh, like
Speaker 2: I don't mean to, you know, upset you, but I
Speaker 2: also need X y Z and like, I know, as
Speaker 2: financially impowered women, we probably should just be more direct.
Speaker 2: But that's what makes me feel more comfortable to have
Speaker 2: that conversation. And I think it's actually okay to have
Speaker 2: conversations around money that just make you feel comfortable. Pat
Speaker 2: it out however, you like but at the same time,
Speaker 2: the conversation needs to be had, like if someone is
Speaker 2: disrespecting a boundary, like I think a conversation around, well,
Speaker 2: what's going on? This isn't the first time, not a
Speaker 2: you haven't paid me back please do? I think I
Speaker 2: would then take it to the next step and be like, look,
Speaker 2: I just feel like this is really disrespectful, like why
Speaker 2: is it happening? And then maybe that scarcity mindset conversation
Speaker 2: could open up and maybe that's what's going on. But
Speaker 2: if it's consistent, yeah, I don't think i'd cut them
Speaker 2: without a conversation if they meant something to.
Speaker 3: Me, Yeah, that's big of you.
Speaker 2: Like some people, I've got all I've got.
Speaker 5: It's all I've got.
Speaker 3: I feel like that's a perfect place to leave it.
Speaker 4: Yeah.
Speaker 2: I was about to say the same, We've got to go.
Speaker 2: It's frayay, let's get out of here. Let's get out
Speaker 2: of here, and we will see you guys on Monday.
Speaker 3: Fine by.
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