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Speaker 1: Job mission with Jones and Amanda.

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Speaker 2: You probably know Madeline West best as an actress from

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Speaker 2: Neighbors and Underbelly. Well you may not know about Madeline

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Speaker 2: is that she's a mom of six, and she's got

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Speaker 2: a new podcast for parents, parents of teens in particular,

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Speaker 2: and she joins us now, Madeline, Hello.

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Speaker 1: Hello, Amanda, thank you so much for having me.

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Speaker 3: Hi Jones, Hello, Madeleine happy Monday.

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Speaker 2: Indeed, so out of your six, how many of yours

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Speaker 2: are teenagers?

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Speaker 3: Two?

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Speaker 1: Now just got a freshly minted teenager, and it is

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Speaker 1: all on. And I've got to say, I used to

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Speaker 1: think I knew what I was doing in a parent

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Speaker 1: in sphere. I thought I had it all down. I thought,

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Speaker 1: if I haven't wiped up after it, or set it

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Speaker 1: to its room, or fed it, or cuddled it, or

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Speaker 1: you stared at it while it yelled at me bulligerately,

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Speaker 1: I thought it wasn't worth knowing. But then teens came along,

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Speaker 1: and it's a whole other ballpark.

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Speaker 3: Is the eldest a boy or a girl?

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Speaker 1: A girl?

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Speaker 3: And she, because there's two types of teens, is the

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Speaker 3: one that's slow developer, as far as is not really

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Speaker 3: interested in boys or growing or turning into a thirty

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Speaker 3: five year old. I mean, that's the quick and the.

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Speaker 1: Role and have a new early midlife crisis.

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Speaker 3: And then there's the quick developer, and that's the worst

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Speaker 3: one you could get.

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Speaker 1: Well, I think that they're I hesitate to say worst

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Speaker 1: in any scenario because if anything this podcast has taught

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Speaker 1: me is that so many of the trials and tribulations

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Speaker 1: of teenaged them or mean aged them as we've turned it,

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Speaker 1: come down to teams feeling insecure about themselves, feeling unsure

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Speaker 1: within all the chemical changes that are happening in their body,

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Speaker 1: and reacting to their own pain. But then being a

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Speaker 1: rap and saying what they say to us, and you know,

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Speaker 1: cutting us with their words is just a demonstration of

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Speaker 1: their own insecurity and their own pain. So I hesitate

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Speaker 1: to say the worst, But we hope we've created something

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Speaker 1: here with this podcast mean Agers that will appeal to

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Speaker 1: all teen types, as you've actually pointed out, Jones, and

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Speaker 1: to parents at large.

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Speaker 2: It's hard, isn't it, Because you have to put yourself

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Speaker 2: second and not feel stung at lack of contact or

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Speaker 2: words that hurt you. You have to bite down on

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Speaker 2: some of that stuff, don't you we're not all good

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Speaker 2: at that.

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Speaker 1: Oh absolutely, that's the hardest thing to do because we

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Speaker 1: are reactionary beasts and these are our babies. But it's

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Speaker 1: important to remember that going from what we're ostensibly, these

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Speaker 1: little creatures that we were one hundred percent responsible for,

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Speaker 1: teams are on the cusp of becoming individuals and adults,

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Speaker 1: and that's really hard for parents to embrace. And it's

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Speaker 1: harder than ever before being a teenager right now despite

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Speaker 1: all of their chemical changes, are the uncertainty that's going

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Speaker 1: on in their own little bodies. The world at large

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Speaker 1: is uncertain and Mum dad care as grandparents, those people

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Speaker 1: that they look up to, We're unsure, we're fearful. So

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Speaker 1: mix that all together and it creates quite a male

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Speaker 1: stream for our teams to navigate.

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Speaker 2: Absolutely, and I also want to do.

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Speaker 1: Again, sorry, please continue if we can be there for

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Speaker 1: them and demonstrate our best selves and understand when our

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Speaker 1: capacity is lacking. For example, if we're having a bit

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Speaker 1: of a face off with a teenager, know at that moment, Okay,

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Speaker 1: I'm tired after a long day of work, I've just

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Speaker 1: made dinner, you've just rejected it. You're calling me names.

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Speaker 1: This is not the time to tackle it. How About

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Speaker 1: we've both had a cup of tea and settle down

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Speaker 1: at the end of the day. How about we discussed

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Speaker 1: this then, so understanding a capacity, knowing that they're coming

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Speaker 1: from a place where what they're saying is not necessarily

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Speaker 1: directed at you, but at their own anguish and their

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Speaker 1: own fear and their own pain, then we set up

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Speaker 1: to be the best possible parents of teams we can be.

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Speaker 2: I found what helped me too was remembering how tribal

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Speaker 2: it was. I got two teenage boys, so in a

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Speaker 2: tribal sense one time, Well, they need to test themselves

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Speaker 2: and separate from us. That's what happens in our In

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Speaker 2: cultures they have rights of passage, where boys have rituals

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Speaker 2: that where they separate from the parents, and that's our

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Speaker 2: their job. And I wonder if nature makes us not

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Speaker 2: like each other for a little while, so we can

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Speaker 2: accept that they're leaving the house, leaving home forever.

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Speaker 1: So absolutely, And it's such a shame that in modern society,

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Speaker 1: particularly westernized cultures, we don't have rights of passage. Those

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Speaker 1: changes are often hidden away, like when a girl starts

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Speaker 1: going through puberty. To save the boys, there's a degree

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Speaker 1: of it's shrouded with a degree of shame and inconvenience

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Speaker 1: that makes them feel that the changes they are going

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Speaker 1: through are not something they can discuss openly. And there's

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Speaker 1: no for young boys, there's no going off into the

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Speaker 1: woods and having their first kill and coming back a

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Speaker 1: man in this weird kind of period that they have

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Speaker 1: to navigate, and the changes they feel in their body

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Speaker 1: are somehow couched in shame. And then then they go

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Speaker 1: into and a couple of topics that we touch on.

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Speaker 1: They go into observing, you know, porn and things like

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Speaker 1: that to best understand what it means to feel like

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Speaker 1: a man, and the same truth girls. So it's a

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Speaker 1: pretty confusing space to navi gate in the first place.

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Speaker 1: And we have parents struggle to ask for help because

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Speaker 1: we don't have a village around us anymore, and we

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Speaker 1: tend to feel our uncertainty certainty suggests that we're bad parents,

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Speaker 1: that we should have it all together by now, and

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Speaker 1: that we should understand what we're doing. And we're at

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Speaker 1: the end of the day, we're scared we're going to

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Speaker 1: stuck them up, We're sending them out into the world,

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Speaker 1: and we're scared. Wow, But get it right. They're going

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Speaker 1: to go down the wrong track and it's all my phone.

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Speaker 3: We've got to bring back national service. That's what it is.

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Speaker 3: That's what it was. Get a haircut, they can set

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Speaker 3: a watch, buy and then they go off to parents

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Speaker 3: and back when they're twenty five.

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Speaker 2: Because we're told that we're, you know, helicopter parents. We're

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Speaker 2: into close and then pull back and I'm not doing enough,

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Speaker 2: and we judge ourselves in a way I don't think

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Speaker 2: our parents even did.

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Speaker 1: Oh absolutely, And now there's such a focus on team

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Speaker 1: mental health, but the focus is so extreme that it's

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Speaker 1: impossible to access it. There's a six month waiting list

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Speaker 1: for teams to go and see a psychologist or get

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Speaker 1: any kind of system for support. And that's why we

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Speaker 1: want to create this podcast. My co host, the amazing

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Speaker 1: Angela Murray, is a psychologist who specializes in team mental health.

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Speaker 1: I'm a mom of teams, mum six all together, and

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Speaker 1: we just thought, let's create something that's really approachable where

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Speaker 1: read listeners can recall in anonymously if they wish, and

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Speaker 1: ask the question the curly questions they can't ask anywhere

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Speaker 1: else or can't get an answer to anywhere else, and

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Speaker 1: we'll do our datas to answer to answer it and

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Speaker 1: open up the conversation. Remove this s digma, remove the taboo,

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Speaker 1: and start helping our teams navigate this process and feel

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Speaker 1: better about the whole thing ourselves.

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Speaker 3: Well, there you go. You can catch madel and West

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Speaker 3: podcast menages meages, what's happened to me? That's some sort

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Speaker 3: of stroke that I can't talk.

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Speaker 1: I heard you try to get your mouth around. Understand Monday.

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Speaker 2: That's what's happening.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, but usually you know I bring them the best

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Speaker 3: game on a Monday. I think. Really, Madeline, it's always

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Speaker 3: treat to talk.

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Speaker 1: Nice to talk to you made Oh, thank you both

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Speaker 1: so much. Have a wonderful week and check it out

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Speaker 1: wherever you get your podcasts men ages.

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Speaker 3: There there it is Madeline West, Thank you, Jonesy and

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Speaker 3: Amanda's GA