Speaker 1: Asking someone else for anything is a delicate enough task,
Speaker 1: but when you're asking them to be vulnerable, it's something
Speaker 1: else entirely. How do you make people feel comfortable sharing
Speaker 1: something that is by definition uncomfortable. Jamilla Risby, the best
Speaker 1: selling author, public speaker, podcast presenter, and interviewer, is no
Speaker 1: stranger to this tricky task. She's spoken to everyone from
Speaker 1: Bill Gates to Kim Kardashian, and many of her interviews
Speaker 1: unearthed incredibly touching moments. So what is the key to
Speaker 1: making her interviewees feel comfortable being vulnerable? My name is
Speaker 1: doctor Amantha Imba. I'm an organizational psychologist and the founder
Speaker 1: of behavioral science consultancy Inventium. And this is how I work,
Speaker 1: a show about how to help you do your best work.
Speaker 1: On today is my Favorite Tip episode, we go back
Speaker 1: to an interview from the past and I pick out
Speaker 1: my favorite tip from the interview. In today's show, I
Speaker 1: speak with Jamilla Risby about how she builds rapport with
Speaker 1: people really quickly and whether she has any tricks up
Speaker 1: her sleeve, especially when doing interviews.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a really great question. Yes it feels really manipulative,
Speaker 2: but yes I do. I not always, but I am
Speaker 2: often asking people when I interview them to make themselves
Speaker 2: quite vulnerable. I'm asking them to share something that's happened
Speaker 2: to them that is hard or as difficult, or is upsetting.
Speaker 2: And I don't think you can ask a stranger to
Speaker 2: do that and to expose themselves in that way to
Speaker 2: you unless you're willing to do the same thing. So,
Speaker 2: whether it makes the final letter or not, I often
Speaker 2: speak about my own experiences, my own difficulties. That shared
Speaker 2: vulnerability creates a level of connection and a level of
Speaker 2: warmth and a level of permissiveness to share things you
Speaker 2: might not otherwise have shared before. Just a few months ago,
Speaker 2: I was interviewing Danny Minogue for the Weekend Briefing. And
Speaker 2: I've met Danny once before, but you know, we certainly
Speaker 2: don't know each other well in any way, and we
Speaker 2: sat down for this interview, and she is someone who
Speaker 2: you know, is interviewed every day of a life. So
Speaker 2: it's one of the challenges with an interview like that, is, well,
Speaker 2: how do you get something new and something interesting that
Speaker 2: her fans haven't heard before because they can listen to
Speaker 2: her on so many platforms, with so many different interviewers
Speaker 2: and that particular day. We talked a lot about motherhood
Speaker 2: and the realization of knowing you're pregnant and the uncertainty
Speaker 2: that comes with that and the excitement at the same time,
Speaker 2: and she ended up sharing an experience that she'd had,
Speaker 2: which was during the UK phone hacking scandal, and because
Speaker 2: a story about her pregnancy was going to be splashed
Speaker 2: all over the front pages of the UK papers before
Speaker 2: she had even told her family, she had to call
Speaker 2: her family in Australia and wake them up and tell
Speaker 2: them she was pregnant in this horrible moment, and she
Speaker 2: spoke about having that joyous moment stolen, that telling your
Speaker 2: mum and your dad and your sister and your brother
Speaker 2: that you're going to have a baby should be a glorious,
Speaker 2: warm family memory, but for her it had to be
Speaker 2: this rushed phone call where she was full of fear
Speaker 2: and she just had to get off the phone to
Speaker 2: get back to the lawyers. And we talked about how
Speaker 2: that felt like it had been stolen from her, and
Speaker 2: she spoke so beautifully and eloquently, and I didn't know
Speaker 2: at the time, but she hadn't spoken about that before publicly,
Speaker 2: and I think the reason she was willing to was
Speaker 2: that we'd shared that vulnerability of what it feels like
Speaker 2: to be a new mum and what it fels like
Speaker 2: to be pregnant and unsure and scared for the first time.
Speaker 2: And I'm not sure we would have gotten to that
Speaker 2: story if she hadn't felt safe.
Speaker 1: So I wonder if you have a situation coming up
Speaker 1: where you need to build rapport with someone quickly. Maybe
Speaker 1: it's a new teammate or boss, or maybe you're attending
Speaker 1: an event where you don't know anyone, this could be
Speaker 1: your chance to try sharing something that makes you feel
Speaker 1: vulnerable and seeing if that helps you strengthen a bond
Speaker 1: with the person that you're talking with. Now, if you
Speaker 1: are looking for more tips to improve the way you work,
Speaker 1: I write a short fortnightly newsletter that contains three cool
Speaker 1: things that I have discovered that help me work better.
Speaker 1: You can sign up for that at Howiwork dot co.
Speaker 1: That's how I Work dot co. How I Work is
Speaker 1: produced by Inventium with production support from Dead Set Studios,
Speaker 1: and thank you to Martin Nimba, who does the audio
Speaker 1: mix for every episode and makes everything sound better than
Speaker 1: it would have otherwise. See you next time.