1 00:00:00,800 --> 00:00:04,240 Speaker 1: Asking someone else for anything is a delicate enough task, 2 00:00:04,760 --> 00:00:07,960 Speaker 1: but when you're asking them to be vulnerable, it's something 3 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:12,559 Speaker 1: else entirely. How do you make people feel comfortable sharing 4 00:00:12,680 --> 00:00:18,880 Speaker 1: something that is by definition uncomfortable. Jamilla Risby, the best 5 00:00:18,920 --> 00:00:22,639 Speaker 1: selling author, public speaker, podcast presenter, and interviewer, is no 6 00:00:22,880 --> 00:00:27,320 Speaker 1: stranger to this tricky task. She's spoken to everyone from 7 00:00:27,360 --> 00:00:31,400 Speaker 1: Bill Gates to Kim Kardashian, and many of her interviews 8 00:00:31,520 --> 00:00:36,400 Speaker 1: unearthed incredibly touching moments. So what is the key to 9 00:00:36,479 --> 00:00:45,280 Speaker 1: making her interviewees feel comfortable being vulnerable? My name is 10 00:00:45,320 --> 00:00:48,880 Speaker 1: doctor Amantha Imba. I'm an organizational psychologist and the founder 11 00:00:48,880 --> 00:00:53,080 Speaker 1: of behavioral science consultancy Inventium. And this is how I work, 12 00:00:53,280 --> 00:00:56,200 Speaker 1: a show about how to help you do your best work. 13 00:00:57,720 --> 00:01:00,480 Speaker 1: On today is my Favorite Tip episode, we go back 14 00:01:00,520 --> 00:01:02,480 Speaker 1: to an interview from the past and I pick out 15 00:01:02,480 --> 00:01:05,800 Speaker 1: my favorite tip from the interview. In today's show, I 16 00:01:05,840 --> 00:01:09,760 Speaker 1: speak with Jamilla Risby about how she builds rapport with 17 00:01:09,800 --> 00:01:13,280 Speaker 1: people really quickly and whether she has any tricks up 18 00:01:13,280 --> 00:01:16,040 Speaker 1: her sleeve, especially when doing interviews. 19 00:01:16,800 --> 00:01:21,800 Speaker 2: Yeah, that's a really great question. Yes it feels really manipulative, 20 00:01:21,840 --> 00:01:27,080 Speaker 2: but yes I do. I not always, but I am 21 00:01:27,120 --> 00:01:30,840 Speaker 2: often asking people when I interview them to make themselves 22 00:01:30,920 --> 00:01:35,840 Speaker 2: quite vulnerable. I'm asking them to share something that's happened 23 00:01:35,840 --> 00:01:39,319 Speaker 2: to them that is hard or as difficult, or is upsetting. 24 00:01:40,680 --> 00:01:44,000 Speaker 2: And I don't think you can ask a stranger to 25 00:01:44,120 --> 00:01:48,640 Speaker 2: do that and to expose themselves in that way to 26 00:01:48,720 --> 00:01:52,080 Speaker 2: you unless you're willing to do the same thing. So, 27 00:01:53,000 --> 00:01:55,880 Speaker 2: whether it makes the final letter or not, I often 28 00:01:55,920 --> 00:02:00,600 Speaker 2: speak about my own experiences, my own difficulties. That shared 29 00:02:00,680 --> 00:02:03,680 Speaker 2: vulnerability creates a level of connection and a level of 30 00:02:03,680 --> 00:02:08,400 Speaker 2: warmth and a level of permissiveness to share things you 31 00:02:08,480 --> 00:02:13,480 Speaker 2: might not otherwise have shared before. Just a few months ago, 32 00:02:13,520 --> 00:02:17,840 Speaker 2: I was interviewing Danny Minogue for the Weekend Briefing. And 33 00:02:18,200 --> 00:02:20,160 Speaker 2: I've met Danny once before, but you know, we certainly 34 00:02:20,200 --> 00:02:23,560 Speaker 2: don't know each other well in any way, and we 35 00:02:23,600 --> 00:02:25,480 Speaker 2: sat down for this interview, and she is someone who 36 00:02:26,120 --> 00:02:29,880 Speaker 2: you know, is interviewed every day of a life. So 37 00:02:29,919 --> 00:02:32,560 Speaker 2: it's one of the challenges with an interview like that, is, well, 38 00:02:32,560 --> 00:02:36,040 Speaker 2: how do you get something new and something interesting that 39 00:02:36,360 --> 00:02:39,200 Speaker 2: her fans haven't heard before because they can listen to 40 00:02:39,240 --> 00:02:42,960 Speaker 2: her on so many platforms, with so many different interviewers 41 00:02:43,600 --> 00:02:48,040 Speaker 2: and that particular day. We talked a lot about motherhood 42 00:02:48,320 --> 00:02:55,040 Speaker 2: and the realization of knowing you're pregnant and the uncertainty 43 00:02:55,080 --> 00:02:57,720 Speaker 2: that comes with that and the excitement at the same time, 44 00:02:58,400 --> 00:03:02,000 Speaker 2: and she ended up sharing an experience that she'd had, 45 00:03:02,440 --> 00:03:05,920 Speaker 2: which was during the UK phone hacking scandal, and because 46 00:03:06,280 --> 00:03:09,399 Speaker 2: a story about her pregnancy was going to be splashed 47 00:03:09,400 --> 00:03:12,480 Speaker 2: all over the front pages of the UK papers before 48 00:03:12,560 --> 00:03:16,600 Speaker 2: she had even told her family, she had to call 49 00:03:16,639 --> 00:03:19,959 Speaker 2: her family in Australia and wake them up and tell 50 00:03:20,000 --> 00:03:23,560 Speaker 2: them she was pregnant in this horrible moment, and she 51 00:03:23,720 --> 00:03:28,320 Speaker 2: spoke about having that joyous moment stolen, that telling your 52 00:03:28,360 --> 00:03:30,320 Speaker 2: mum and your dad and your sister and your brother 53 00:03:30,400 --> 00:03:33,240 Speaker 2: that you're going to have a baby should be a glorious, 54 00:03:33,440 --> 00:03:36,560 Speaker 2: warm family memory, but for her it had to be 55 00:03:36,600 --> 00:03:39,160 Speaker 2: this rushed phone call where she was full of fear 56 00:03:39,280 --> 00:03:40,520 Speaker 2: and she just had to get off the phone to 57 00:03:40,560 --> 00:03:42,840 Speaker 2: get back to the lawyers. And we talked about how 58 00:03:42,880 --> 00:03:45,200 Speaker 2: that felt like it had been stolen from her, and 59 00:03:45,800 --> 00:03:48,840 Speaker 2: she spoke so beautifully and eloquently, and I didn't know 60 00:03:48,880 --> 00:03:51,320 Speaker 2: at the time, but she hadn't spoken about that before publicly, 61 00:03:52,160 --> 00:03:54,360 Speaker 2: and I think the reason she was willing to was 62 00:03:54,400 --> 00:03:58,720 Speaker 2: that we'd shared that vulnerability of what it feels like 63 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:00,320 Speaker 2: to be a new mum and what it fels like 64 00:04:00,360 --> 00:04:03,320 Speaker 2: to be pregnant and unsure and scared for the first time. 65 00:04:03,720 --> 00:04:06,360 Speaker 2: And I'm not sure we would have gotten to that 66 00:04:06,520 --> 00:04:09,800 Speaker 2: story if she hadn't felt safe. 67 00:04:11,040 --> 00:04:13,880 Speaker 1: So I wonder if you have a situation coming up 68 00:04:13,960 --> 00:04:18,200 Speaker 1: where you need to build rapport with someone quickly. Maybe 69 00:04:18,200 --> 00:04:22,040 Speaker 1: it's a new teammate or boss, or maybe you're attending 70 00:04:22,040 --> 00:04:25,279 Speaker 1: an event where you don't know anyone, this could be 71 00:04:25,320 --> 00:04:28,040 Speaker 1: your chance to try sharing something that makes you feel 72 00:04:28,120 --> 00:04:31,200 Speaker 1: vulnerable and seeing if that helps you strengthen a bond 73 00:04:31,360 --> 00:04:34,800 Speaker 1: with the person that you're talking with. Now, if you 74 00:04:34,839 --> 00:04:37,600 Speaker 1: are looking for more tips to improve the way you work, 75 00:04:37,760 --> 00:04:41,280 Speaker 1: I write a short fortnightly newsletter that contains three cool 76 00:04:41,320 --> 00:04:43,919 Speaker 1: things that I have discovered that help me work better. 77 00:04:44,400 --> 00:04:47,200 Speaker 1: You can sign up for that at Howiwork dot co. 78 00:04:47,440 --> 00:04:50,520 Speaker 1: That's how I Work dot co. How I Work is 79 00:04:50,520 --> 00:04:53,960 Speaker 1: produced by Inventium with production support from Dead Set Studios, 80 00:04:54,279 --> 00:04:56,400 Speaker 1: and thank you to Martin Nimba, who does the audio 81 00:04:56,400 --> 00:04:59,200 Speaker 1: mix for every episode and makes everything sound better than 82 00:04:59,240 --> 00:05:01,920 Speaker 1: it would have otherwise. See you next time.