WEBVTT - 72. My boyfriend can't make me orgasm... Therapy Thursday 0:00:21.239 --> 0:00:24.520 Hi guys, and welcome back to our second episode of 0:00:24.560 --> 0:00:27.560 the week, our Ask Uncut episode Updown in Dirty episode 0:00:27.560 --> 0:00:29.000 where we answer all of your. 0:00:28.920 --> 0:00:31.440 Deep, dark and burning question. 0:00:31.880 --> 0:00:33.440 I know that I have always said that this is 0:00:33.479 --> 0:00:36.400 unsolicited advice, but this is actually solicited advice because you 0:00:36.440 --> 0:00:39.520 ask us. It's just unqualified advice comes from many, many 0:00:39.600 --> 0:00:44.280 years of very poor decision making. And I am reformed, guys, 0:00:44.800 --> 0:00:46.280 That's why I am here. I also used to be 0:00:46.320 --> 0:00:48.440 that annoying person that would give advice and then never 0:00:48.479 --> 0:00:50.479 follow my own advice and never let lessons in that 0:00:50.560 --> 0:00:50.920 as well. 0:00:51.479 --> 0:00:54.440 So I a little like super quick update, guys, went 0:00:54.480 --> 0:00:57.480 on a date last night. It was great, Like I 0:00:57.520 --> 0:00:59.960 didn't even ask you and you just came straight with you. Like, 0:01:00.080 --> 0:01:03.080 so everyone, I'm dating someone and we're getting married. It's 0:01:03.120 --> 0:01:07.000 going great. I've picked out my baby names well because 0:01:07.120 --> 0:01:10.160 I have had a little hiatus of sorts, so I 0:01:10.200 --> 0:01:12.560 haven't really been dating much, so it was exciting. I 0:01:12.600 --> 0:01:14.000 knew you were gonna ask me, so I just got 0:01:14.040 --> 0:01:15.720 in there anyway. I walked in the door. 0:01:16.120 --> 0:01:18.000 Laura, It's like, how's the date last night? 0:01:19.040 --> 0:01:21.039 Brett has this thing that she always says after she 0:01:21.080 --> 0:01:23.039 goes in a date with anybody who's hot, She's like, 0:01:23.040 --> 0:01:24.880 and he doesn't even know how hot he is. 0:01:25.000 --> 0:01:25.959 Am I for it. 0:01:26.040 --> 0:01:28.560 They all know how hot they are, every single one 0:01:28.560 --> 0:01:29.840 of them know how hot they are. 0:01:30.000 --> 0:01:32.119 And then I'm like, no, but this one doesn't. Yeah, 0:01:32.160 --> 0:01:35.039 but this one is different, and it is this one different? 0:01:35.120 --> 0:01:37.600 Well, I think it's I'm really attracted to someone that 0:01:37.680 --> 0:01:41.200 doesn't know they're attractive and he Hey, I don't think 0:01:41.240 --> 0:01:42.320 he really knows. 0:01:42.600 --> 0:01:43.360 They all know. 0:01:43.920 --> 0:01:46.880 They just play humble because then they all like, Okay, 0:01:47.120 --> 0:01:49.800 I'm like, gonna give brittany' some hard advice here, because 0:01:49.960 --> 0:01:51.880 at least seventy percent of the ones that you've been 0:01:51.880 --> 0:01:53.840 on dates with recently have not turned out to be 0:01:53.880 --> 0:01:57.120 great guys, which makes me think they're acutely aware of 0:01:57.160 --> 0:01:58.240 how fucking what they are. 0:01:59.480 --> 0:02:02.640 Okay, he turned up in I Love This. There's gonna 0:02:02.640 --> 0:02:04.240 be a lot of people and you, guys, if you 0:02:04.320 --> 0:02:06.200 know me well and if you've been following the podcast 0:02:06.200 --> 0:02:08.200 for a while, you know that he's probably my soulmate 0:02:08.480 --> 0:02:11.520 because he turned off in a turtleneck, a white a 0:02:11.560 --> 0:02:14.680 white turtleneck, and I was like, be still, my beating heart. 0:02:14.840 --> 0:02:16.079 I think we were made for each other and I 0:02:16.120 --> 0:02:19.360 had a turtleneck. Don't at me, it's really cold weather. 0:02:19.360 --> 0:02:21.400 It's Sydney. At the moment, I had a turtleneck on. 0:02:21.680 --> 0:02:23.240 We were matching. We looked cute. 0:02:23.240 --> 0:02:24.760 I felt like a baby's little cue. 0:02:24.800 --> 0:02:27.280 So you're like, he has a heartbeat, so he's absolutely 0:02:27.320 --> 0:02:29.079 my soulmate. The man is breathing, and he responds to 0:02:29.080 --> 0:02:31.359 my text messages. I love him on a serious note, 0:02:31.600 --> 0:02:33.560 it actually did. He was really sweet, it went well, 0:02:33.880 --> 0:02:34.960 and the turtlenecks were real. 0:02:35.160 --> 0:02:41.080 Something else actually happened to me yesterday. I again, guys, 0:02:41.080 --> 0:02:43.120 if you've been following on the podcast for a little while, 0:02:43.280 --> 0:02:45.400 you will know what I'm talking about. I walked into 0:02:45.400 --> 0:02:49.080 my local coffee shop with my sister. I heard his voice. 0:02:49.200 --> 0:02:51.760 I heard it. I didn't see him, and my whole 0:02:51.960 --> 0:02:53.160 body stiffened. 0:02:53.240 --> 0:02:56.080 And you know that feeling when you've run into an 0:02:56.120 --> 0:02:58.120 egg and you feel sick because it's like it's not 0:02:58.200 --> 0:02:58.679 a good ax. 0:02:58.720 --> 0:03:01.840 It's like, oh my, you know that feeling. Yes, every 0:03:01.880 --> 0:03:04.440 single person knows. I feel like anyway horrendous. 0:03:04.720 --> 0:03:07.800 I heard it and I was like, okay, this is 0:03:07.840 --> 0:03:08.680 all micro seconds. 0:03:08.680 --> 0:03:09.919 I'm like, what are you gonna do here? You're gonna 0:03:09.919 --> 0:03:12.239 turn around and fight a flight? Fire flight? Where do 0:03:12.280 --> 0:03:12.440 I go? 0:03:12.520 --> 0:03:14.240 I hadn't audered yet, so I was fight a flight. 0:03:14.320 --> 0:03:16.520 So I did this like really slow turn. My sister 0:03:16.560 --> 0:03:18.800 turns around and looks at me. She's like, are you okay? 0:03:18.800 --> 0:03:21.720 You're fucking seen a dead person? Like I was so dramatic. Anyway, 0:03:22.080 --> 0:03:24.400 I turned around and there in front of me was 0:03:24.520 --> 0:03:25.360 Meet Raffle. 0:03:25.560 --> 0:03:27.679 So if you guys don't know, you haven't followed along 0:03:27.680 --> 0:03:29.720 from the podcast at the beginning, Meet Raffle was like 0:03:29.760 --> 0:03:30.560 our season one. 0:03:30.639 --> 0:03:32.160 This is this guy that fri It was dating for 0:03:32.200 --> 0:03:32.560 a while. 0:03:32.639 --> 0:03:35.880 Well, he bought me, he purchased her at a charity 0:03:35.880 --> 0:03:39.320 event and he turned out to be real doozy of 0:03:39.320 --> 0:03:41.880 a fella. Wow, you know what, You're the third person 0:03:41.880 --> 0:03:43.440 this week who's told me that they've run into a 0:03:43.480 --> 0:03:45.640 trauma x oh. Like we did not end well, we 0:03:45.640 --> 0:03:48.400 were like blocking each other. It was it was disastrous. 0:03:48.440 --> 0:03:51.960 It was mean text mainly from him. Anyway, I saw 0:03:52.040 --> 0:03:54.680 him and I was like, has he seen me yet? 0:03:54.720 --> 0:03:56.560 And I don't think he had. So I looked at 0:03:56.600 --> 0:03:58.080 Sharon and I was I literally looked at I was 0:03:58.080 --> 0:03:59.600 like run. She's like what I'm like run and we 0:03:59.640 --> 0:04:01.440 ran out, and that was in my heart was beating. 0:04:01.480 --> 0:04:03.120 I felt like it had a heart attack, and I 0:04:03.160 --> 0:04:05.200 was like, how ridiculous that there are still people like 0:04:05.240 --> 0:04:07.880 this that can make you feel like that, Like I 0:04:07.880 --> 0:04:09.960 shouldn't have had to have done that, but my body 0:04:10.040 --> 0:04:11.520 was like panic mode. 0:04:12.080 --> 0:04:14.480 No, but I think that even though you're so resolved 0:04:14.480 --> 0:04:16.120 from that time in your life and like, it's not 0:04:16.120 --> 0:04:17.599 something that you think about in a day to day 0:04:17.800 --> 0:04:19.840 and no one wants to be thrown into it allward 0:04:19.839 --> 0:04:22.080 situation where they have to be confronted by somebody who 0:04:22.360 --> 0:04:25.960 really hurt them. And like, just for anybody who's like 0:04:26.040 --> 0:04:28.599 more reason to the podcast, who's jumped on board. It 0:04:28.640 --> 0:04:30.280 was a guy that Britt was seeing for a few 0:04:30.320 --> 0:04:32.080 weeks or a few months or something, but then when 0:04:32.120 --> 0:04:35.000 she tried to break it off, he reacted like a 0:04:35.080 --> 0:04:38.000 crazy person and was so angry and so abusive and 0:04:38.080 --> 0:04:42.240 so disgusting in his messages and responses that, yeah, it 0:04:42.360 --> 0:04:44.960 ended in a whole lot of blocking unsubscribed from you pal. 0:04:45.200 --> 0:04:45.400 Yeah. 0:04:45.480 --> 0:04:47.920 You also he knew that was my cafe, that was 0:04:48.000 --> 0:04:50.039 that was my thing. I was like, I was like, 0:04:50.120 --> 0:04:52.280 you know that this is my domain? So what you're 0:04:52.279 --> 0:04:53.000 doing up in here? 0:04:53.040 --> 0:04:53.640 Do you know what I have? 0:04:53.760 --> 0:04:56.360 The this is from so many moons ago, but like 0:04:56.480 --> 0:04:59.520 when when we finished filming Bachelor, right, so like I 0:04:59.560 --> 0:05:01.760 hadn't seen anyone for three and a half months. I'd 0:05:01.800 --> 0:05:05.400 been in lockdown. I'd been dating Matt. Obviously we went 0:05:05.400 --> 0:05:07.680 out together, but no one knew about it. And the 0:05:07.880 --> 0:05:11.200 day that I came out of lockdown, I came back 0:05:11.200 --> 0:05:13.160 to Sydney and I caught up with my sister and 0:05:13.200 --> 0:05:15.520 she lives in Paddington. I went straight to her house 0:05:16.000 --> 0:05:17.520 and then we were like, we'll go get a coffee. 0:05:17.560 --> 0:05:19.960 So we walked across the road and down Oxford Street. 0:05:20.000 --> 0:05:23.360 And as I'm walking down Oxford Street, my trauma ex is. 0:05:23.279 --> 0:05:25.560 Walking towards me. I was like, of all the people 0:05:25.920 --> 0:05:27.440 I could possibly see. 0:05:27.360 --> 0:05:29.479 Right now in this place, at this exact time that 0:05:29.520 --> 0:05:30.920 I'm deciding to get a coffee, Like. 0:05:30.880 --> 0:05:32.919 I have not seen anybody for three and a half months, 0:05:32.920 --> 0:05:35.880 and here is this one person who's caused me so. 0:05:36.080 --> 0:05:38.120 Much paid and there's probably no where you could go. 0:05:38.360 --> 0:05:39.919 Well, I ran into assembly label and I was like, 0:05:39.920 --> 0:05:41.479 I just want to try these things on, grabbed like 0:05:41.480 --> 0:05:42.640 seven things and run into a change. 0:05:42.800 --> 0:05:47.240 I want to try these onto my face right now. Anyway, guys, 0:05:47.279 --> 0:05:49.520 what we realized on Tuesday's episode was that it was 0:05:49.560 --> 0:05:52.200 a super long episode. We covered lots of different topics, 0:05:52.480 --> 0:05:55.159 but we didn't get to bring you our favorite segment. 0:05:54.800 --> 0:05:57.080 Which is accidentally unfiltered and I had. 0:05:57.320 --> 0:05:59.560 I had a really cute actually unfiltered saved and so 0:05:59.600 --> 0:06:01.120 I'm going to jump in and say it before we 0:06:01.160 --> 0:06:02.800 get into answering your questions this week. 0:06:02.960 --> 0:06:04.520 So here it is. 0:06:05.160 --> 0:06:07.480 This happened to me several years ago when I first 0:06:07.560 --> 0:06:10.719 moved to Japan. Now, my Japanese skills were pretty terrible, 0:06:10.760 --> 0:06:13.560 so I used Google Translate a lot while shopping. Anyway, 0:06:13.720 --> 0:06:15.719 I was looking for a quick snack and I saw 0:06:15.760 --> 0:06:18.280 a small bag that looked like rice crackers. It had 0:06:18.279 --> 0:06:20.800 a picture of cheese and fish on it, so I thought, yeah, 0:06:20.800 --> 0:06:24.520 this is just some unique Japanese flavor. I used picture 0:06:24.520 --> 0:06:28.440 translate and it said something like a healthy cheese. So 0:06:28.520 --> 0:06:30.360 I bought it and I loved it, and I went 0:06:30.400 --> 0:06:32.560 back a few days later and I bought two more packets. 0:06:32.760 --> 0:06:34.560 I ate one of the two packets a week later, 0:06:34.720 --> 0:06:36.840 and then one day one of my Japanese friends came 0:06:36.839 --> 0:06:38.960 over to watch a movie, and I was like, hey, babe, 0:06:39.000 --> 0:06:41.400 you want a snack. She looked at the packet and said, 0:06:42.120 --> 0:06:43.080 are you fucking kidding me? 0:06:43.920 --> 0:06:46.160 How what? I said, what do you need? 0:06:46.760 --> 0:06:48.520 And then she began to explain to me that my 0:06:48.640 --> 0:06:50.839 favorite new snack was actually cat food. 0:06:54.680 --> 0:06:57.440 I was so surprised and told her how delicious it was. 0:06:57.839 --> 0:07:00.280 I sometimes still get cravings for that cat food. 0:07:00.360 --> 0:07:02.680 I mean, was it organic? What flavor? Are we talking? 0:07:03.200 --> 0:07:04.920 Fish and cheese? Yum? 0:07:04.960 --> 0:07:05.640 I love tuna. 0:07:05.880 --> 0:07:07.600 I think she was thinking it was like some sort 0:07:07.600 --> 0:07:09.600 of tuna and cheese flavored cracker. 0:07:09.600 --> 0:07:11.360 But anyway, I was like, this is adorable. 0:07:11.880 --> 0:07:14.280 That's actually so I wonder how many people have done that. Well, 0:07:14.280 --> 0:07:15.560 Marley eats dog food all the time. 0:07:15.640 --> 0:07:16.240 This is my point. 0:07:16.320 --> 0:07:18.000 Kids eat cat from dog food all the time. It 0:07:18.040 --> 0:07:19.200 actually can't taste that bad. 0:07:19.400 --> 0:07:21.640 Mally will pick up busters dog food and carry it 0:07:21.680 --> 0:07:23.800 around like four little pellets in her hand and just 0:07:23.880 --> 0:07:27.200 eat them like they're sultanas or snacks. And every so 0:07:27.280 --> 0:07:29.040 often I'm like, what's in your mouth, which is like 0:07:29.080 --> 0:07:31.560 the most common phrase that any mother says to their child, 0:07:31.560 --> 0:07:31.760 what have. 0:07:31.800 --> 0:07:34.120 You got in your mouth? And she's just chomping away 0:07:34.160 --> 0:07:34.880 on some dog food. 0:07:34.920 --> 0:07:37.240 Well, if you, to be fair, if you were buying 0:07:37.320 --> 0:07:39.800 really good pet food these days, most of it is 0:07:39.840 --> 0:07:42.120 actually real meats and it's organic and it's you can 0:07:42.160 --> 0:07:44.640 get really great stuff, so it's probably not anything bad 0:07:44.680 --> 0:07:45.000 in there. 0:07:45.160 --> 0:07:47.240 I mean, like Buster is an Eastern Suburbs dog his 0:07:47.920 --> 0:07:49.040 dog food is premium shit. 0:07:49.080 --> 0:07:51.000 But also we sound like we're howking dog food now? 0:07:51.120 --> 0:07:51.760 Which when not? 0:07:52.440 --> 0:07:54.120 And things aren't that tight that we need to eat 0:07:54.120 --> 0:07:56.400 dog food. Okay, I've actually got a really cute one 0:07:56.400 --> 0:07:58.760 that just came into girls. 0:07:58.880 --> 0:08:01.640 This just happened. I love that they come straight to us. 0:08:02.400 --> 0:08:05.200 I just text my boss, why do I always get 0:08:05.200 --> 0:08:06.560 the runs when I've got my period? 0:08:06.760 --> 0:08:09.360 So rude? Which was actually meant to go to my bestie. 0:08:09.400 --> 0:08:11.720 I want to die inside and I'm calling in sick tomorrow. 0:08:14.080 --> 0:08:17.200 Hey question, did you get that Excel spreadsheet? And also, 0:08:17.280 --> 0:08:19.360 oh my god, I cannot stop shitting myself. How much 0:08:19.400 --> 0:08:20.280 did the period sucks? 0:08:20.320 --> 0:08:22.560 It's literally the worst thing when you've pressed sent on 0:08:22.600 --> 0:08:24.960 a text and it's like as soon as your finger 0:08:25.000 --> 0:08:27.560 goes down and sloman and presses the button, you've clocked 0:08:27.560 --> 0:08:28.360 that it's the wrong person. 0:08:28.400 --> 0:08:30.440 But it's it's done. As there's nothing to. 0:08:30.320 --> 0:08:32.600 Do unless you can be the biggest ninja in the world. 0:08:32.800 --> 0:08:35.760 Look what you can do, especially if it's on like 0:08:35.800 --> 0:08:38.480 WhatsApp or something that takes that extra second to send. 0:08:39.080 --> 0:08:42.960 If you press send and you've noticed as you're pressing it, 0:08:43.040 --> 0:08:46.240 you can swipe down real quick, put aeroplane mode on 0:08:46.280 --> 0:08:47.680 and it will stop it from sending. 0:08:48.520 --> 0:08:50.360 But what if you just think it stopped it from 0:08:50.400 --> 0:08:52.360 sending and the person's actually still gotten it. 0:08:52.400 --> 0:08:54.719 No, you're sitting there in this like moment of like 0:08:55.480 --> 0:08:57.320 because you know how it comes out like not delivered, 0:08:57.559 --> 0:09:00.360 So you have to be a ninja jedi. Like it's 0:09:00.360 --> 0:09:01.480 almost impossible to do. 0:09:01.600 --> 0:09:03.280 But I feel like Gmail at least it's got out 0:09:03.320 --> 0:09:04.960 back where it's got like you have like at least 0:09:05.000 --> 0:09:07.520 ten seconds to unsend an email the amount of times 0:09:07.520 --> 0:09:12.079 who I've sent Yeah, kind retards Laura Burne unsend unsnd 0:09:12.120 --> 0:09:13.640 that anyway. 0:09:13.840 --> 0:09:17.400 Should we get in to some questions? Hit me question 0:09:17.480 --> 0:09:17.960 number one? 0:09:18.200 --> 0:09:20.839 All right, question number one? Hey, girls, I need your help. 0:09:21.000 --> 0:09:22.680 I met this guy on a night out and we 0:09:22.720 --> 0:09:25.520 started sleeping together and messaging each other every day for 0:09:25.520 --> 0:09:27.959 about a month. One night, after going to the pub, 0:09:28.040 --> 0:09:30.080 he went home with one of my friends and he 0:09:30.160 --> 0:09:32.960 slept with her. Now she didn't know that he and 0:09:32.960 --> 0:09:36.720 I were sleeping together. He's now messaging her every day 0:09:36.760 --> 0:09:38.960 and asking to see her all the time. I value 0:09:38.960 --> 0:09:41.200 my friendship with her, but I also have feelings for 0:09:41.240 --> 0:09:44.080 this guy. Do I tell her how I feel? Or 0:09:44.080 --> 0:09:44.920 do I let it go? 0:09:45.240 --> 0:09:49.560 Please? Help? What a dirty dog? I mean, this guy's 0:09:49.920 --> 0:09:50.360 a dick. 0:09:50.520 --> 0:09:52.320 If he knows that she's your friend and he's sleeping 0:09:52.360 --> 0:09:54.600 with her, then I don't know. I want to say 0:09:54.640 --> 0:09:57.640 to you cut him off straight away. Yeah, I'm going 0:09:57.720 --> 0:09:59.720 to say, like, I'm with you, Brett. I think like 0:09:59.800 --> 0:10:02.600 the relationship that you had with him, whatever it was, 0:10:02.880 --> 0:10:04.720 whether it was you know, obviously it was just sleeping 0:10:04.720 --> 0:10:07.520 together and you were hoping for more, that's done. Now, 0:10:07.640 --> 0:10:09.840 Like that's one hundred percent put to bed. I think 0:10:09.880 --> 0:10:12.120 like the most important thing for you you should be 0:10:12.160 --> 0:10:15.080 to prioritize your friendship. And I don't think that there's 0:10:15.120 --> 0:10:17.440 any harm in telling your friend. If your friend doesn't 0:10:17.480 --> 0:10:19.360 know that you guys were sleeping to I think, if anything, 0:10:19.400 --> 0:10:22.040 she would want to know that because imagine if they 0:10:22.080 --> 0:10:24.600 then start dating and she finds out six months later 0:10:24.600 --> 0:10:27.760 that actually you fucked a boyfriend, weird, crazy things are 0:10:27.760 --> 0:10:29.320 going to get out of control. So I think be 0:10:29.400 --> 0:10:32.480 honest and say, hey, this is the situation. I'm telling 0:10:32.559 --> 0:10:34.240 you this because there's a part of me that was 0:10:34.280 --> 0:10:36.679 really into him, and I'm pretty sad about it, But 0:10:36.840 --> 0:10:39.360 I don't have any I'm not holding you to any 0:10:39.400 --> 0:10:41.560 account because, like, obviously this is not your friend's fault 0:10:41.600 --> 0:10:45.640 at all. So I really think prioritize your friendship in this, 0:10:45.760 --> 0:10:48.840 but definitely have a conversation with her about it, but 0:10:48.920 --> 0:10:50.640 you don't have to talk to him about it anymore. 0:10:50.679 --> 0:10:52.800 And I definitely don't think that you should be trying 0:10:52.840 --> 0:10:55.640 to pursue a relationship with him because he went and 0:10:55.720 --> 0:10:57.679 had sex with your friend, like he knew what he 0:10:57.720 --> 0:11:00.600 was doing. He made that bed, he later it had 0:11:00.640 --> 0:11:03.480 a good old time. What I think about this is, firstly, 0:11:05.080 --> 0:11:06.960 I wonder how good a friends you are with this girl. 0:11:06.960 --> 0:11:09.520 And I'm only asking you this because if I was 0:11:09.559 --> 0:11:12.040 seeing someone and sleeping with them for a month and 0:11:12.080 --> 0:11:14.120 I really had feelings for them, my friends would know. 0:11:14.400 --> 0:11:16.720 But we literally dated the same guy, and it was 0:11:16.840 --> 0:11:19.680 only after you had been dating him for weeks, and 0:11:19.760 --> 0:11:21.559 I was like, I've I had sex with him a 0:11:21.600 --> 0:11:22.120 few years ago. 0:11:22.240 --> 0:11:24.199 But that's well, we tried to have sex. It didn't 0:11:24.200 --> 0:11:26.120 really work out first. 0:11:25.880 --> 0:11:28.760 Because that is because not because I didn't tell you, 0:11:28.840 --> 0:11:31.080 that's because we were referring to him by a different names. 0:11:31.120 --> 0:11:32.640 So I still straight up went to and was like 0:11:32.720 --> 0:11:34.680 dating this guy because I think that's what friends do. 0:11:34.800 --> 0:11:37.320 So my point is like, usually you're telling each other 0:11:37.440 --> 0:11:39.680 good friends about what's going on in your life. 0:11:39.920 --> 0:11:40.960 But let's let's just give. 0:11:40.840 --> 0:11:42.440 Her the benefit of the doubt that they are still 0:11:42.480 --> 0:11:45.520 good friends, and she just genuinely hadn't told her friend yet. 0:11:45.559 --> 0:11:47.800 You know, like sometimes you want to keep your your 0:11:48.400 --> 0:11:50.760 sexual escapades private. 0:11:50.800 --> 0:11:53.000 I mean, yes, I keep my dating life very reprivate, 0:11:53.040 --> 0:11:56.200 so I've I mean, I know that that's like a 0:11:56.240 --> 0:11:57.160 foreign territory for you. 0:11:57.280 --> 0:11:59.199 But like maybe she doesn't want to tell a friend, 0:11:59.280 --> 0:12:00.680 or didn't want to she was waiting to see what 0:12:00.679 --> 0:12:03.559 it eventuated into, or maybe she was feeling like, Okay, 0:12:04.080 --> 0:12:05.720 I like this guy, but clearly this is a bit 0:12:05.720 --> 0:12:07.360 of a hangs and banging situation. I don't want to 0:12:07.360 --> 0:12:09.800 be embarrassed, So she chose not to talk to a 0:12:09.840 --> 0:12:12.600 friend about it. But that's obviously created this little pickle 0:12:12.640 --> 0:12:13.600 dickle of the situation. 0:12:13.720 --> 0:12:15.400 Yeah, straight up, you just need to tell her, And 0:12:15.440 --> 0:12:16.719 it doesn't have to be a big deal and a 0:12:16.720 --> 0:12:18.760 big sit down we need to talk. It just needs 0:12:18.800 --> 0:12:21.080 to be like, Hey, I didn't really want to tell 0:12:21.080 --> 0:12:23.079 you at the start because I didn't want to make 0:12:23.080 --> 0:12:24.679 you uncomfortable or I didn't want to stop you from 0:12:24.720 --> 0:12:27.400 doing what you're doing. But I've actually been seeing this 0:12:27.480 --> 0:12:29.840 guy for a while and I have feelings for him. 0:12:29.880 --> 0:12:34.240 And ultimately, you need to have the combo as friends, 0:12:34.440 --> 0:12:35.920 and you need to She needs to be aware of 0:12:35.960 --> 0:12:38.400 it also, and you need to decide what you want 0:12:38.520 --> 0:12:41.000 from that conversation, Like are you doing this because you 0:12:41.040 --> 0:12:43.240 want to date this guy and you're in love with 0:12:43.280 --> 0:12:45.920 this guy? And if that is the case, I feel 0:12:45.920 --> 0:12:48.440 like you need to think seriously about that, because he 0:12:48.520 --> 0:12:50.400 doesn't sound like the kind of guy you want to 0:12:50.720 --> 0:12:52.280 keep around and take home to your parents. 0:12:52.440 --> 0:12:54.439 But also, I'm just gonna give this guy the benefit 0:12:54.480 --> 0:12:54.959 of the doubt for. 0:12:54.920 --> 0:12:58.040 Two songs you would I know, No, Actually. 0:12:57.440 --> 0:12:59.160 I don't want to sit here and shit on him, 0:12:59.160 --> 0:13:03.560 because like if you guys were literally just sleeping with 0:13:03.600 --> 0:13:06.720 each other, just you know, going out at nighttime, hanging out, 0:13:06.720 --> 0:13:08.679 maybe having a drink or two going home and hangs 0:13:08.679 --> 0:13:11.400 and bangs. He had given you no indication that there 0:13:11.480 --> 0:13:12.959 was going to be a relationship that was going to 0:13:13.000 --> 0:13:16.400 transpire from this. Like then that's kind of on you 0:13:16.480 --> 0:13:19.320 that you became emotionally invested. If he really said, like, 0:13:19.360 --> 0:13:21.520 I'm not looking for anything, this is what this is, 0:13:21.600 --> 0:13:23.800 and you were hoping for it to be more and 0:13:23.840 --> 0:13:26.240 then he's moved on to somebody else. I mean, granted 0:13:26.280 --> 0:13:28.400 it's your friend. That's a really shit situation and it 0:13:28.440 --> 0:13:31.760 definitely shouldn't be the case. But I think, you know, 0:13:32.600 --> 0:13:34.280 we can't punish him and sit here and say like 0:13:34.280 --> 0:13:36.520 that he's the shittest guy on earth, because like, really, 0:13:36.640 --> 0:13:38.920 he wasn't emotionally invested in this in the first place. 0:13:39.400 --> 0:13:42.160 I also think that you need to be transparent with 0:13:42.200 --> 0:13:45.640 your friend and say, hey, look, we were sleeping together 0:13:45.760 --> 0:13:47.839 and then he totally goes to me and now he's 0:13:47.840 --> 0:13:50.680 sleeping with you, because you don't want to give the 0:13:50.679 --> 0:13:52.560 impression that he's trying to play both of you at 0:13:52.559 --> 0:13:54.320 the same time, which is not what it sounds like 0:13:54.360 --> 0:13:57.320 he's doing. It does sound like he kind of went, oh, okay, 0:13:57.360 --> 0:13:59.040 well I'm going to stop doing this thing. 0:13:59.120 --> 0:13:59.600 Over here. 0:14:00.040 --> 0:14:02.320 That doesn't really mean anything to me, and I'm going 0:14:02.400 --> 0:14:04.760 to invest some time over here and maybe that does 0:14:04.840 --> 0:14:07.240 mean something to him. So like, I think, be careful 0:14:07.240 --> 0:14:10.840 with how you have this conversation because like, yes, what 0:14:10.920 --> 0:14:12.960 he's done is a bit shit, but it's not like 0:14:13.280 --> 0:14:15.080 we're not gonna like hoist him up and set the 0:14:15.080 --> 0:14:15.839 guy on fire yet. 0:14:15.920 --> 0:14:17.680 No, which is why I think the best thing to 0:14:17.720 --> 0:14:19.960 do in these situations is always just to tell the truth. 0:14:20.360 --> 0:14:22.560 Don't don't embellish it, and don't actually like you guys 0:14:22.560 --> 0:14:25.320 are in love and up until yesterday he was messaging you. 0:14:25.400 --> 0:14:27.160 Just be like, hey, I was seeing him for a while. 0:14:28.120 --> 0:14:30.960 I really liked him, and now he's sort of seeing 0:14:31.000 --> 0:14:33.720 you and I still like him, and this is awkward. 0:14:34.080 --> 0:14:36.840 But what I what I want to drive home here 0:14:37.000 --> 0:14:38.680 is and I say this all the time, and I 0:14:38.720 --> 0:14:42.200 stand by it, if a guy wants to see you, 0:14:42.280 --> 0:14:43.760 and if a guy wants to speak to you, and 0:14:43.760 --> 0:14:45.880 if a guy is interested in you, if he likes you, 0:14:45.960 --> 0:14:48.520 if he wants to pursue something with you, he will 0:14:48.680 --> 0:14:50.560 one hundred percent. 0:14:50.800 --> 0:14:52.680 Make that obvious. He will let you know. 0:14:53.000 --> 0:14:55.280 He will be clear because men don't sit back and 0:14:55.280 --> 0:14:57.360 say I really want that. I'll just wait for it 0:14:57.400 --> 0:14:57.800 to come to me. 0:14:57.840 --> 0:14:58.360 They don't do it. 0:14:58.400 --> 0:15:01.200 If they are keen as bean, you will know about it. 0:15:01.440 --> 0:15:03.960 And there's this saying, you know if you're confused if 0:15:04.000 --> 0:15:06.480 he likes you, chances are he doesn't and it sucks 0:15:06.560 --> 0:15:08.400 to hear, but you need to know that to hear. 0:15:08.480 --> 0:15:11.280 And I'm sorry, but I feel like he doesn't want 0:15:11.280 --> 0:15:14.080 to pusue anything serious with you. And maybe you guys 0:15:14.080 --> 0:15:15.680 are friends and you got along really well and you 0:15:15.720 --> 0:15:18.160 probably actually did have a connection and you had a 0:15:18.200 --> 0:15:20.520 lot of fun together. But I think that's where it 0:15:20.600 --> 0:15:22.600 stops for him, by the sounds of it from what 0:15:22.640 --> 0:15:23.120 you've said. 0:15:23.240 --> 0:15:25.120 Do you know what Weeley Britt, the guy that we 0:15:25.200 --> 0:15:28.200 both dated has actually dated three of my friends you 0:15:28.240 --> 0:15:30.080 included as one and two other girls. 0:15:30.200 --> 0:15:32.080 Shut up, but I was first. 0:15:31.880 --> 0:15:35.480 Guys, but you were only first because I didn't live 0:15:35.520 --> 0:15:36.640 in Sydney at It's. 0:15:36.520 --> 0:15:40.960 So true waiting nowhere it went downhill vast. 0:15:41.040 --> 0:15:43.400 But also that's that's not to say anything bad about 0:15:43.440 --> 0:15:45.600 this guy at all. That's that is what happens in 0:15:45.640 --> 0:15:48.360 the Eastern Beaches. No, it's like a small world every 0:15:48.480 --> 0:15:50.600 and especially if you're single in the Eastern Beaches. It's 0:15:50.600 --> 0:15:53.160 in an even smaller world. So I think that's what happens. 0:15:53.200 --> 0:15:55.200