Speaker 1: Hi guys, and are welcome back. It's been a long break,
Speaker 1: but here we are to another episode of Life Uncut.
Speaker 1: I'm Laura and I'm Brittany. A lot's happened in the
Speaker 1: past couple of weeks. Do you know what I think
Speaker 1: is actually hilarious. Almost every day someone has written to
Speaker 1: us and said, can you please come back? Like the
Speaker 1: break's been too long?
Speaker 2: What are we doing without you? We can't survive without you?
Speaker 2: And I was like, oh my gosh, how long have
Speaker 2: we actually been off for? And I worked it out.
Speaker 2: It's only just five weeks to the day that we
Speaker 2: stopped the last episode, and a lot has happened. You
Speaker 2: have officially got a boyfriend, like out in the media, tell.
Speaker 1: On the world the press. I pushed a watermelon out
Speaker 1: of my vagina.
Speaker 2: Actually it was almost a sizeable watermelon. She is a
Speaker 2: big girl. She's the kid's got a massive head.
Speaker 1: Some destruction we've had We would get into that later
Speaker 1: in the episode. I ran a half marathon. We have
Speaker 1: chosen our bachelor for twenty twenty one, and we have
Speaker 1: started the train wreck that he's married at first sign
Speaker 1: the absolute dumpster fire, which you know what I am
Speaker 1: usually so here for Maths and this year. Maybe it's
Speaker 1: because collectively I've had about four hours sleep in the
Speaker 1: last month, but I'm not vibing it like I normally would.
Speaker 2: I will tell you about that. Also, coming right up,
Speaker 2: you are on the slow decline with Maths. It's really
Speaker 2: taken me by surprise too.
Speaker 1: I know when we first started this Okay, so we
Speaker 1: started this podcast almost two years ago. Guys, when we
Speaker 1: first started it, I was so sick for Maths. I
Speaker 1: was like waving that mass flag. I don't know, I'm
Speaker 1: a bit disenchanted. Maybe it's because I don't feel like
Speaker 1: there's any couples this season that I'm like really getting behind.
Speaker 1: Do you know what, I'm almost proud of what I
Speaker 1: have never watched an episode of Maths of any season.
Speaker 1: It just shows how much you've bluffed your fucking way
Speaker 1: through this podcast because you constantly talk about Maths. No,
Speaker 1: because what I will do is I'll watch the highlights,
Speaker 1: or I'll go and watch people like Clementine Ford, who
Speaker 1: will just go to town. I feel like I've watched
Speaker 1: every episode without watching an episode, I'll always read the articles,
Speaker 1: watch the news, I'll look at the contestants pages, I'll
Speaker 1: go and look at these people that recap them, people
Speaker 1: like Hijrash that do funny stuff. But I've never sat
Speaker 1: down and watched from start to finish a whole episode
Speaker 1: of Maps. You're literally just here for the Punky recaps.
Speaker 1: I'm here for punky recaps. Okay, So before we get
Speaker 1: into everything about today's episode, we've missed you. We're so
Speaker 1: happy to be back in your ears, let's talk about
Speaker 1: the thing that you all actually came here for. Brittany,
Speaker 1: tell me what's it like to be in love? Now?
Speaker 1: You tell me what's liked me. You're all glowy, You're
Speaker 1: all giggly.
Speaker 2: I'm humming, am always giggly. I am actually blushing now
Speaker 2: talking to Laura.
Speaker 1: How's the sex been? I want to know everything.
Speaker 2: It's fantastic, from the top to the bottom. Guys, I wholeheartedly, ridiculously, disgustingly,
Speaker 2: sickeningly have fallen in love. And I'm going to be
Speaker 2: that person that everyone loves to hate. And then I
Speaker 2: have always always loved to hate. And I've said it
Speaker 2: a number of times in this podcast. I'm going to
Speaker 2: say it now. It happened when I least expected it.
Speaker 1: Of fucking hell. Also, though, for anybody who has been
Speaker 1: with this podcast since the very beginning, or if you've
Speaker 1: listened to every single episode, you will know that Britney's
Speaker 1: dating love life has been a constant running theme and
Speaker 1: the amount of people who are messaging to say that
Speaker 1: they're happy for you. I just don't think people have
Speaker 1: actually really thought this through and that they realize that
Speaker 1: it means you're not going to be bringing any more
Speaker 1: dating stories to the podcast, which is a real point
Speaker 1: of contention right now.
Speaker 2: It is a point of contention, but they've thought it
Speaker 2: through because every congratulatory message I have finishes with I'm
Speaker 2: also disappointed that there will be no more stories, but
Speaker 2: I need to be happy enough for you. We've had
Speaker 2: a lot of people writing saying that we need a
Speaker 2: new segment that is other people's embarrassing, awkward, pathetic, terrible
Speaker 2: dating stories which we might actually bring in. But yeah,
Speaker 2: I still have some dating stories up my sleeve, guys,
Speaker 2: I trust me. There's been a decade of dating. I
Speaker 2: can bring you a lot of stories still, but I
Speaker 2: can also bring.
Speaker 1: You a lot of love. Now. Okay, so let's just
Speaker 1: hit the hot ten questions. I don't even know if
Speaker 1: I have ten questions, but I'm gonna ask you a few.
Speaker 1: How did you guys meet you guys?
Speaker 2: Remember that I said last year, like the start of
Speaker 2: twenty twenty, that this year in twenty twenty, I did
Speaker 2: not want to go through another holiday season and another
Speaker 2: Christmas without someone like I just wanted to finish this
Speaker 2: year and hope that I met someone. And in the
Speaker 2: last episode of last year, I remember saying, well, that's it.
Speaker 2: Another year over and I didn't meet anyone. And then
Speaker 2: I think it was like literally the next day, it
Speaker 2: was almost like I told the universe, like pull your
Speaker 2: butt into gear. The next day I met Jordan. I
Speaker 2: met Jordan on and I'm gonna sound like a wan
Speaker 2: car but I met Jordan on.
Speaker 1: Raya, which anyone who doesn't know. Raya is like an
Speaker 1: exclusive celebrity dating site. Remember how I used it is
Speaker 1: a celebrity and you have to be approved to be
Speaker 1: able to be on Raya, and you have to have
Speaker 1: over a certain number of followers on Instagram. No you don't.
Speaker 1: I'd also be a certain level of hotness. Am I
Speaker 1: sensing a tinge of jealousy? You're not on rail I
Speaker 1: was off dating sites before I had any kudos in
Speaker 1: any social circle.
Speaker 2: You guys remember used to talk about how I saw
Speaker 2: Chanting Tatum on a dating app and I was trying
Speaker 2: to match with him, et cetera. Like I sent him
Speaker 2: a direct message as a joke.
Speaker 1: What wasn't a joke. It's funny. It's only a joke.
Speaker 1: When you get rejected, you're like, yeah, I didn't mean
Speaker 1: that anyway. He just never go back.
Speaker 2: He just didn't. I super liked him. That is the
Speaker 2: app that I met Jordan on. And the thing about
Speaker 2: this app is it doesn't really work. It's not geolocated,
Speaker 2: so you can match with anyone around the world at
Speaker 2: any time. You don't set a location, which is why
Speaker 2: I saw all these famous people on them.
Speaker 1: The funny thing about this.
Speaker 2: With Jordan is I saw Jordan on this dating app
Speaker 2: three or four times.
Speaker 1: Now.
Speaker 2: I have made him aware of this, and I said, no,
Speaker 2: I always swiped.
Speaker 1: Left four times. This is purely because, for.
Speaker 2: No other reason, his dating profile looked great. It was fine,
Speaker 2: he was interesting, he was athletic, but he was younger
Speaker 2: than me, and significantly younger than me.
Speaker 1: Bernie does like a young guy from school. All right,
Speaker 1: I got to go he's clocking off school. Now. It
Speaker 1: got to a point where, like, you know, when you've
Speaker 1: dated everybody, and like when you're on Tinder and it
Speaker 1: stated everybody. I mean, I've been there, So this is
Speaker 1: not a dig at you, like, oh, you know you're
Speaker 1: on Tinder. You're swiping and it says no one, there's
Speaker 1: no one left in your area, and you're like, all right,
Speaker 1: fuck it, I'll just go up ten years and down
Speaker 1: ten years and kilometers. All of a sudden, you've just
Speaker 1: matched me a thirteen year old in Brisbane.
Speaker 2: But no, I was ready to meet someone. So I
Speaker 2: was and this is my advice that I do give
Speaker 2: you guys as well. I was ready to meet someone.
Speaker 2: So the people I was looking for were people I
Speaker 2: thought would be ready to meet someone. So I had
Speaker 2: an age range. Age range doesn't really come up on
Speaker 2: rail anyway. So I was like, this guy, I'm going
Speaker 2: to tell you how old he's in a second.
Speaker 1: This guy's too young for me. He's not going to
Speaker 1: be ready.
Speaker 2: So I just kept swiping. No, it got to almost
Speaker 2: the end of the year and he just kept popping
Speaker 2: up on my swiping. So I thought, hang on, what
Speaker 2: is wrong with this person? Like why am I saying
Speaker 2: no to him? And I sort of went through my
Speaker 2: checklist in my head of what I was looking for.
Speaker 2: He ticked every single thing, and then I realized the
Speaker 2: only reason I was saying no was because he was
Speaker 2: twenty six and I am thirty three. So you do
Speaker 2: the math, that's seven years.
Speaker 1: I had to laterally stop then, but I also am
Speaker 1: very sleep deprin So I was seven.
Speaker 2: Years and I thought, there's no way a twenty six
Speaker 2: year old and I completely stereotyped a twenty six year
Speaker 2: old professional athlete is not going to be traveling the world,
Speaker 2: playing the field, doing what he wants. So I was like,
Speaker 2: that was the only reason. I was like, Okay, he's young,
Speaker 2: he is twenty six, that's my only reason. Fuck it,
Speaker 2: I'm just gonna say yes because that's not a good
Speaker 2: enough reason when every other box is tick.
Speaker 1: So I said yes.
Speaker 2: We matched immediately, and then he sat all over to
Speaker 2: me and we started talking and it was just easy.
Speaker 2: From the second we started talking. He asked me for dinner,
Speaker 2: and I was a bit cocky and said, only if
Speaker 2: we can play tennis first. Now, Jordan has a serve
Speaker 2: of two hundred and twenty kilometers an hour.
Speaker 1: This did not go down well for anyone who doesn't
Speaker 1: know Jordan is actually a professional tennis player.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so look, I could go into a lot of
Speaker 2: details and we will over the coming weeks or for
Speaker 2: the rest of my life whatever, but we essentially met.
Speaker 1: We had and the next day.
Speaker 2: This is huge for me because you guys know that, Like,
Speaker 2: I don't have any emotions really or I never used
Speaker 2: to have emotions, and I used to.
Speaker 1: I was a runner.
Speaker 2: Like someone would say they liked me, and I'd be like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, did you see that he wore a
Speaker 2: summon shirt. I can't date him, and I would run away.
Speaker 1: Like over the past two years, the amount of guys
Speaker 1: who I shouldn't say it there. It's not like Brittany's
Speaker 1: been dating a bazillion men, but like the number of
Speaker 1: guys who she has dated and on paper, I'm like,
Speaker 1: they seem like they're a really nice guy and the
Speaker 1: only reason why you were trying to pick apart them
Speaker 1: as a person is because they're actually into you and
Speaker 1: they're being nice to you. As much as she has
Speaker 1: sat here and given you relationship advice, I have been
Speaker 1: the one behind the scenes being like britt this guy
Speaker 1: seems awesome, but there is something to be said for
Speaker 1: the fact that you need to have that X factor
Speaker 1: as well. You can't just match with someone who on
Speaker 1: paper everything seems awesome, but there's no spark. Oh, and
Speaker 1: that's what it's been for you. There's been no spark.
Speaker 2: And I just knew that when the person came along
Speaker 2: in my life that it would be easy. I knew
Speaker 2: that I wouldn't question it. I knew that I would
Speaker 2: just feel it. And I always knew it would happen
Speaker 2: fast because I knew that I'm so specific with what
Speaker 2: I was looking for that when it did happen, I
Speaker 2: knew that it would just happen. So we went on
Speaker 2: this one date. We had an hour and a half
Speaker 2: sitting for dinner, and then it was midnight, six and
Speaker 2: a half hours later, and they came up to us
Speaker 2: say this, let us stay because I saw us having
Speaker 2: this such a great time. They came up to us
Speaker 2: and they're like, guys, like the restaurant's closing, you do
Speaker 2: need to leave. I don't even know if Jordan got
Speaker 2: a word in edgewise. It was just like six hours
Speaker 2: of me talking. So we left and then he was
Speaker 2: such a gentleman. He was so polite, and I could
Speaker 2: tell he really liked me, like just the way he
Speaker 2: was talking and acting.
Speaker 1: But he was he was like, didn't touch me.
Speaker 2: Didn't try and kiss me, didn't do anything. And then
Speaker 2: the taxi was coming and I was like, this guy's
Speaker 2: not going to even try and kiss me. And I
Speaker 2: was like, I don't know if I should end it
Speaker 2: without kiss because it was so good. And I'll also,
Speaker 2: i'm saying that it's not like it was a new take.
Speaker 2: I was had six wines, I was dry.
Speaker 1: I was like and I literally said, so the cars.
Speaker 2: Here in two minutes, and he's like, uh huh. And
Speaker 2: I was like, are you going to kiss me? Or
Speaker 2: am I going to have to kiss you? That's what
Speaker 2: I said, and he was like, it'd be great if
Speaker 2: you did it. Chivalry also like grow a set.
Speaker 1: Come on. It was like, I'm just He's like, I'm
Speaker 1: actually glad you did that.
Speaker 2: He's like, I really wanted to kiss you, but I
Speaker 2: was just trying to be a gentleman and I didn't
Speaker 2: want you to feel uncomfortable. He's actually so great, He's
Speaker 2: so sweet, it's like unheard of. Then this is someone
Speaker 2: like me I had to go up to Port Macquarie
Speaker 2: the next day. I had four days left until Christmas,
Speaker 2: and I banned him from listening to the podcast. This
Speaker 2: is a very important point. I was like, absolutely, you
Speaker 2: will never listen to this podcast until you're head over
Speaker 2: heels in love with me, and then it's too late
Speaker 2: for you to run away.
Speaker 1: That was my rule. He's like, I don't understand. Why
Speaker 1: what do you talk about it. I was like, you
Speaker 1: don't need to know. Ask my question, and like this
Speaker 1: has been your fear, Like I'm perpetually single because of
Speaker 1: this podcast. It's a bad omen. It was my fear.
Speaker 2: I just thought people would listen and be turned off
Speaker 2: it until you know who I am and what I'm
Speaker 2: actually like. It'd be easy to listen to what we
Speaker 2: talk about and just be like, oh, you know, so
Speaker 2: I said, you can't listen to the episode I got
Speaker 2: to put mcquarie. I can't stop thinking about him. I
Speaker 2: don't know why.
Speaker 1: It's weird.
Speaker 2: And then I say to him, look, I've decided you
Speaker 2: can listen to an episode of the podcast. He's like, great,
Speaker 2: which one? And like, so I dated a sociopath?
Speaker 1: That was it.
Speaker 2: I was like, I feel like it's just going to
Speaker 2: explain a lot about me without me having to tell you.
Speaker 1: I can't believe that was the episode you got him
Speaker 1: to listen to.
Speaker 2: Yeah, that was it, because I just feel like it
Speaker 2: explains a lot about me, because I'm a bit like,
Speaker 2: I get a bit flighty, and I'm a runner. And
Speaker 2: I said that to him. I said, look, historically, I run,
Speaker 2: like I I want you to know that, and I
Speaker 2: want you to know why. And I didn't want to
Speaker 2: have the awkward conversation and I didn't want the questions.
Speaker 2: I just wanted him to listen. And he's like, when
Speaker 2: should I listen? And I said, why don't you listen?
Speaker 2: On the way here, He's like to paut and I
Speaker 2: said yes. And then I was like, I threw my
Speaker 2: phone just for two days after Christmas. We had just
Speaker 2: had Christmas. It was in that Chris between Christmas and
Speaker 2: New Year's period. Yeah, that weird time frame work. No
Speaker 2: one knows what day when he didn't have had my family.
Speaker 2: I hadn't even told my family. I had a separate
Speaker 2: house I was staying at, so he did not have
Speaker 2: I said, and I've seen this guy twice now, and
Speaker 2: I said, come to Port he's like, I'll leave in
Speaker 2: an hour. He literally packed his bag, drove to put
Speaker 2: McCrory and we just had these couple of amazing days
Speaker 2: together and that was it. We have not unless he
Speaker 2: was away playing, we have not had one day apart.
Speaker 2: He moved into my house in Bondie within as soon
Speaker 2: as he got back.
Speaker 1: We just moved in. I'm really happy for you, but
Speaker 1: this is not necessarily like the precedent that you should
Speaker 1: set for all your relationships. It's okay to take things
Speaker 1: slow people, and that's something that we have been advocating
Speaker 1: for for the past two years. And then here's Brittany.
Speaker 1: So we're getting married next week and when you know,
Speaker 1: you know no. So I will wrap this up because
Speaker 1: we'll talk about it more in other episodes. But I
Speaker 1: do want to say when I say he moved in,
Speaker 1: I mean unofficially, he just stays with me every night.
Speaker 1: And the reason that is that's not a normal thing
Speaker 1: that I would ever do. As we know.
Speaker 2: But I know that he's going overseas very very soon, unfortunately,
Speaker 2: and he'll be gone for the rest of the year,
Speaker 2: so I don't see him. So we've always known that
Speaker 2: we had like a four month period together and then
Speaker 2: that was it. So in our head, we were like,
Speaker 2: this isn't going to be a normal ticket, slow to
Speaker 2: know each other, see each other once a week. This
Speaker 2: is We've got four months to see if this is
Speaker 2: a thing, and then we don't see each other for
Speaker 2: the rest of the year.
Speaker 1: So that was why I was.
Speaker 2: Like, you know what, fuck it, Let's just hang out
Speaker 2: as much as we can, get to know each other
Speaker 2: as much as we can, and then we decide if
Speaker 2: we're going to do a long distance thing.
Speaker 1: So if anyone who doesn't understand why Jordan is going
Speaker 1: overseas for the next x amount of time, it's because
Speaker 1: he is going on tour to play tennis. So he's
Speaker 1: going to be in the States and in Europe and
Speaker 1: he's going to be playing all over the place. So
Speaker 1: Britt and Jordan are going to have to do this
Speaker 1: extended time away from each other, which, you know what,
Speaker 1: there's going to be challenges in that of itself, but
Speaker 1: also it means we can do a podcast episode on
Speaker 1: long distance. You guys have been asking for a long
Speaker 1: distance dating podcast, and it's been a long time since
Speaker 1: I've done long distance dating. So we're going to have
Speaker 1: it from the horse's mouth. Absolutely.
Speaker 2: But again, I could talk about this for hours, So
Speaker 2: let's just wrap my little segment up and I'll end
Speaker 2: it with we are doing long distance because I am
Speaker 2: head over heels in love and he's head over heels
Speaker 2: in love. And guess who said the L word first?
Speaker 1: He did? You did? You can't say both us on guests.
Speaker 1: Don't you know how the game works, Laura, you said it.
Speaker 2: I wrote it down in a message to a friend,
Speaker 2: and then later without him knowing, and later that day
Speaker 2: that's another story.
Speaker 1: He told me he loved me first. This is I
Speaker 1: was cute. I was never gonna say it. This is
Speaker 1: so cute that I feel sick. I know you vomitated disgusting.
Speaker 2: All right, enough about me, let's talk about other huge
Speaker 2: things going on in the world.
Speaker 1: Well, this episode, we are I mean, like part of
Speaker 1: this episode is that we are just kind of going
Speaker 1: to have a good catch up guys, because it's been
Speaker 1: a while since we were able to sit here and
Speaker 1: debrief and get back to basics. But before we talk
Speaker 1: about what this episode like, the main part of this episode,
Speaker 1: which is going to be I guess my birth story,
Speaker 1: which kind of is weird, but I'm going to tell
Speaker 1: I'm going to tell you all the nitty gritty details
Speaker 1: around Laola being born. I'm entering the world. I don't
Speaker 1: think that's weird at all. I think it's really pervy.
Speaker 1: There are people out there who are really into other
Speaker 1: people's birth stories, and then there's going to be some
Speaker 1: people who are like, I don't want to know about this.
Speaker 2: Oh, I think it's interesting, especially like people like me
Speaker 2: or people that haven't had children.
Speaker 1: We don't know what happens.
Speaker 2: We don't know how it feels, we don't know, we
Speaker 2: don't know anything, so it's we I personally am really interested.
Speaker 2: I've already quizzed you, but we put it out to
Speaker 2: you guys, and you guys had some really great questions.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I guess you're right, Like I mean, I
Speaker 1: from having two children myself, I have learnt so much
Speaker 1: about what it is to actually give birth and the
Speaker 1: whole process, and I think that until you go through
Speaker 1: it yourself, there is so little that we actually talk about.
Speaker 1: So I'm not going to keep anything secret, no sugar
Speaker 1: coating and whatever Brittany asked me, I will answer a
Speaker 1: lot of these questions came from you guys directly, so
Speaker 1: you only have yourself to blame for asking such disgusting questions.
Speaker 1: You'll have issues.
Speaker 2: But before we get into that, guys, we have a
Speaker 2: new bachelor.
Speaker 1: We do. We have a new bachelor and.
Speaker 2: Normal, and he's hot, any smart, and he looks great.
Speaker 1: He's got a really cute smile and I have one
Speaker 1: hundred match with him on Tinder before and it actually
Speaker 1: because it's funny, because I have to fuck off. Okay, okay,
Speaker 1: So this guy who is our new bachelor, his name
Speaker 1: is Jimmy Nicholson. He's thirty one. He's from Sydney. He
Speaker 1: is a normy norm which means that he is not
Speaker 1: from any ex reality TV show. He is a pilot
Speaker 1: and because of COVID, he has a lot of downtime,
Speaker 1: which is why he was able to take on the
Speaker 1: role of being the bachelor. And he's our very first
Speaker 1: bachelor who is not your standard attractive white man. He
Speaker 1: is of Fijian and New Zealander descent, and I think
Speaker 1: it is an excellent choice for bachelor. Here is someone fresh,
Speaker 1: and he is someone new, and it has been a
Speaker 1: very long time since I have online dated. But as
Speaker 1: soon as I saw his picture on Pedestrian. I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I've definitely matched with that guy on Tinder. I don't
Speaker 1: think we spoke. Oh maybe we did speak, but we
Speaker 1: definitely didn't meet up or anything like that. But I
Speaker 1: hand on heart one hundred percent seen him before and
Speaker 1: it's got to be Tinder. And then I googled where
Speaker 1: he was from, and he's from Sydney, and I was like, well,
Speaker 1: that's not surprising. I've matched with every single sing man
Speaker 1: in Sydney at some point in time, so gone through
Speaker 1: the list, here we go, and now you have as well. No,
Speaker 1: I'm actually him not that long ago, Like I matched
Speaker 1: with him Daily Mail, Eat your heart out.
Speaker 2: Yeah it wasn't Tinda. It was like bumble. I think
Speaker 2: we matched at the end. We matched twice at the
Speaker 2: end of last year. Like obviously, before I met Jordan,
Speaker 2: he was really really nice, really great.
Speaker 1: We had really good chat.
Speaker 2: We're going to meet up, and then I went to
Speaker 2: put McCrory I went away somewhere and then I just
Speaker 2: sort of just like put it on the back burner.
Speaker 1: Didn't meet up.
Speaker 2: Then he recame back into the messages to meet up
Speaker 2: again the second time, and I had just started to
Speaker 2: go on at like one or two dates with someone else,
Speaker 2: so I didn't want to go and start dating him
Speaker 2: at the same time, so I sort of canned it.
Speaker 2: But I never actually met up with him.
Speaker 1: But guys, he could have not been the bachelot. Maybe
Speaker 1: I could have met up with him and we would
Speaker 1: have fallen in love and that wouldn't have happened. I
Speaker 1: have a little bit more information. I don't know if
Speaker 1: you saw this in the media recently, but it turns
Speaker 1: out he's also dated Bella who was on Lucky Season
Speaker 1: multiple times. I say that this man, who is our
Speaker 1: Australia's number one bachelor, he's churned and burned the online
Speaker 1: dating ladies. He is not afraid of it. And I'm
Speaker 1: gonna say that there's probably a lot of women in
Speaker 1: Sydney who are going to listen to this podcast and
Speaker 1: go I also matched with him. Send us it, send
Speaker 1: us your details. I want to know. I want to
Speaker 1: I want the nitty gritty on this bachelor. I wanted
Speaker 1: to all come out on that fun cut before it
Speaker 1: comes out in the Daily Mail.
Speaker 2: Well, someone or he has written into us, and I
Speaker 2: didn't know if I wanted to say she hooked up
Speaker 2: with him. She shouted and went to his house and
Speaker 2: they banked. When she left the next day, she realized
Speaker 2: she forgot a bra and she messaged him to get
Speaker 2: it back and he just didn't write back.
Speaker 1: God. Okay, So something else I wanted to talk about
Speaker 1: before we got into birth story nitty gritty details is
Speaker 1: I want to talk about maths. Just really top line,
Speaker 1: I don't want to go into all of the characters.
Speaker 1: I don't want to go into all the relationship I mean,
Speaker 1: they almost are they almost are character. I don't want
Speaker 1: to go into all the relationships with all the people
Speaker 1: that have been cast. I think that every year it
Speaker 1: seems to be getting more and more controversial, and the
Speaker 1: people who were on the show seemed to be more
Speaker 1: poorly matched in order to create the biggest drama possible.
Speaker 1: It's like they're not even trying, like they're trying not
Speaker 1: to match them. Oh, they are purposely choosing people who
Speaker 1: have deep seated insecurities and then choosing the exact thing
Speaker 1: that would inflame those insecurities and matching them together and
Speaker 1: watching the absolute dumpster fire. It's breaking people for our entertainment.
Speaker 1: And now, guess one of the things that I have
Speaker 1: seen come up. I had this thought the other day
Speaker 1: when I was watching one of the episodes and Sam
Speaker 1: had said something which was absolutely brutal about how he'd
Speaker 1: broken up with his ex girlfriend because he wanted someone
Speaker 1: who had bigger boobs, and he was being very blunt
Speaker 1: about his desires and what he likes in a woman.
Speaker 1: And one of the things Coco said she had to
Speaker 1: say something that she liked about Sam, and obviously like
Speaker 1: she didn't like any of those things that he said,
Speaker 1: How could you possibly it was so incredibly misogynous, But
Speaker 1: she said, I like that he's really honest, and that
Speaker 1: hit me so hard, and I just wanted to quickly
Speaker 1: sit on that because I know I've done this in
Speaker 1: past relationships, and it really resonated with me. I think
Speaker 1: we do it more as women than men. But when
Speaker 1: men are mean, like actually saying mean things, we often
Speaker 1: try and justify that by saying, oh, but at least
Speaker 1: they're really honest, and we try and kind of like
Speaker 1: redeem that characteristic by saying, oh, but it comes from honesty. No,
Speaker 1: it doesn't come from honesty. That's a really shit person.
Speaker 1: It's a shit thing to say. All it does is
Speaker 1: inflame your insecurity. So if somebody in your life is
Speaker 1: being so honest to you that actually what they're telling
Speaker 1: you is mean, that's not a characteristic that she'ld be rewarded.
Speaker 1: It's not a characteristic that you should go. Oh, you know,
Speaker 1: like at least I know where I stand with that person.
Speaker 1: That could be them using that as a way to
Speaker 1: gaslight you. It could be them using that as a
Speaker 1: way to manipulate you. It could be them using that
Speaker 1: as a way to make you feel completely insecure. And
Speaker 1: I think we can call that for what it is. Well,
Speaker 1: I think it's a copy mechanism, isn't it.
Speaker 2: Someone just just say someone breaks you and they've just
Speaker 2: told you all these horrible things about you as a human.
Speaker 2: We want to take something from that, We want to
Speaker 2: make something positive. So we walk away and we're like, well,
Speaker 2: I guess he was honest.
Speaker 1: And I think I was really triggered by this because
Speaker 1: in my first long term relationship, who I got with
Speaker 1: when I was in my early twenties twenty and I
Speaker 1: was with until I was twenty six, he was really
Speaker 1: brutally honest, putting honest in quotation marks. And the more
Speaker 1: that I think about it now, that relationship in my
Speaker 1: mid thirties, and I reflect on it. He wasn't honest.
Speaker 1: He was just very mean to me. He would put
Speaker 1: me down. He would tell me that I was too loud,
Speaker 1: I was to this, I was too that I was
Speaker 1: too much for whatever he wanted me to be. And
Speaker 1: so I would try and try and mold my personality,
Speaker 1: shape who I was to better fit this person that
Speaker 1: he wanted to be with. And I justified that as
Speaker 1: being like, well, he's being honest. And he said to
Speaker 1: me after six years of us being together that he
Speaker 1: couldn't see a long term relationship with me and couldn't
Speaker 1: see us getting married. And you know, I mean, I've
Speaker 1: talked about this before. I took that as a personal challenge.
Speaker 1: I was like, I'm going to change this guy's mind.
Speaker 1: We're saying whatever, low on the hole that didn't work
Speaker 1: out people. But I really justified his bluntness as being honest.
Speaker 1: I think that if you're doing that in a relationship,
Speaker 1: be very aware of it, because there's a huge difference
Speaker 1: between honesty in a relationship that allows for growth and
Speaker 1: allows for like open channels of communication and honesty that's
Speaker 1: to the point of just a put down and being mean.
Speaker 1: I look back.
Speaker 2: And I have been in that position too, where I
Speaker 2: have said, oh, you know, okay, he's just been honest.
Speaker 1: I'll accept that.
Speaker 2: The reason I have done that is because it's better
Speaker 2: than the opposite, which is the constant lies. And I
Speaker 2: had been lying to and cheat on that many times
Speaker 2: that the alternative for me was someone being brutally honest.
Speaker 2: I was like, okay, I'll take that. I'll take that
Speaker 2: over the secrecy and the hiding.
Speaker 1: Yeah. But I guess that's the thing, right, Like that's
Speaker 1: the pinch point, is like, yeah, you shouldn't be accepting
Speaker 1: somebody who cheats on you and lies to you, but
Speaker 1: you're sure a shit shouldn't be accepting someone who's so
Speaker 1: honest that they're fucking mean and hurt your feelings. Like
Speaker 1: that's a narrative that we need to change as well.
Speaker 1: I mean, if you haven't seen the Maths episode, then
Speaker 1: you probably don't know exactly what we're referring to. Don't
Speaker 1: go back and watch it. I'm not recommending of that,
Speaker 1: but I think for everybody who has seen it, there's
Speaker 1: a lot about this season that is very questionable. They
Speaker 1: do it on every season. We know that they purposely
Speaker 1: choose mismatched couples to create the most amount of drama.
Speaker 1: We know that we know that this whole idea that
Speaker 1: the experts actually choose the couples based on what they
Speaker 1: think is going to bring out the best in each
Speaker 1: other is a load of horseshit.
Speaker 2: I also think the term experts is questionable.
Speaker 1: Well, that was something else I wanted to flag on
Speaker 1: this episode, and that is, as we all know, we
Speaker 1: have a new relationship expert in the house on mass
Speaker 1: and that is Alessandra Rampola, and she has actually come
Speaker 1: in and she's replaced to doctor Tricia Statford. I guess
Speaker 1: the thing is is like, as the episodes and seasons
Speaker 1: have kind of progressed and things have become so much
Speaker 1: more glaringly obvious that the experts aren't there to actually
Speaker 1: match people and create successful relationships. They're there to kind
Speaker 1: of mediate the drama and to kind of suck out
Speaker 1: people's insecurities to talk about it so that they can
Speaker 1: hash it out on the couch. Doctor Tricia Stratford walked
Speaker 1: away after seven seasons, and when she first walked away,
Speaker 1: it was very amicable. She said that she wanted to
Speaker 1: spend her time focusing on other areas of interest. For her,
Speaker 1: that was her neuropsychology because she is actually a doctor.
Speaker 1: She also wanted to focus on her writing, and you know,
Speaker 1: she's given seven great years to marry at first sight,
Speaker 1: but she wanted to move on to other things. Since then,
Speaker 1: she's come out and said that the dinner parties on
Speaker 1: Maths have left her feeling sick to the stomach and
Speaker 1: that by the end of her time on Maths, she
Speaker 1: couldn't compromise her professional and personal standards because there were
Speaker 1: participants on the show who she felt shouldn't have been there.
Speaker 1: And then this is also a quote from her, she said,
Speaker 1: if someone gets through the critical selection process when we
Speaker 1: have said that we don't want them on the show
Speaker 1: because they're too fragile, that they're not going to do
Speaker 1: well on the show, and then they're still on there. Anyway,
Speaker 1: it goes to show what everybody has suspected and what
Speaker 1: everybody has argued for so long, is that through seven seasons,
Speaker 1: there is only three successful couples that have come out
Speaker 1: of Maths. And I think think to be an expert
Speaker 1: on that show, especially somebody who is a doctor who
Speaker 1: has dedicated their life to studying and has real credentials.
Speaker 1: It's almost unconscionable and unethical to sit on a board
Speaker 1: of that show and say, yes, we're doing this because
Speaker 1: we think it's a great social experiment where we're hoping
Speaker 1: that these couples will bring up the best in each other,
Speaker 1: where we're encouraging them to work through their problems. Because
Speaker 1: quite frankly, if you met a guy in real life
Speaker 1: and they treated you the way that some of these
Speaker 1: men have treated the women within the first or second episode,
Speaker 1: you would get up and walk the f away. First day,
Speaker 1: first day, you would like or like on the honeymoon,
Speaker 1: you would leave. And we would say to our friends,
Speaker 1: we would say to anybody that we cared about, if
Speaker 1: a man or woman treated you like that, you would
Speaker 1: walk out.
Speaker 2: Imagine I had gone on a date with a guy
Speaker 2: and on the date he ranked me out of his
Speaker 2: dates for the last two weeks, and he ranked me
Speaker 2: as like the fourth best hottest date. And I came
Speaker 2: and told you.
Speaker 1: That, As if you would say to me, give him a.
Speaker 2: Go, though maybe it could work your way up to
Speaker 2: number one, wouldn't never happen. As if I would even
Speaker 2: finish the meal, I'd probably like take both of his
Speaker 2: in a doggy bag and runt.
Speaker 1: You guys know that I'm still kind of sick for it.
Speaker 1: I'm not hating on it completely. You're still gonna watch it.
Speaker 1: I'm still gonna watch it. It's hugely entertaining, and I think
Speaker 1: that the reason why I'm going to continue to watch it,
Speaker 1: and one of the reasons why I do enjoy the
Speaker 1: show is not because I expect that any couples are
Speaker 1: going to come out of it successful, and it's not
Speaker 1: that I expect that anyone's mental health is going to
Speaker 1: come out of it better than when they went in.
Speaker 1: It's because I do think that the show creates some
Speaker 1: really interesting conversations around relationships. I think it really puts
Speaker 1: a spotlight on bad behavior, and like, there's so many
Speaker 1: things that we have spoken about off the back of
Speaker 1: that show, things like gas larding, things like narcissistic personality disorder,
Speaker 1: things like you know, this whole idea of being honest
Speaker 1: and how that's used as a cloak of forgiveness for
Speaker 1: someone's bad behavior.
Speaker 2: We do want to make a point too, We've seen
Speaker 2: it's not just the males. We've seen the females gaslining
Speaker 2: the men as well, like.
Speaker 1: It's this is sick both ways. Now it's time for
Speaker 1: the part your favorite part of every episode, which is
Speaker 1: accident filtered. That was my favorite part. That was so
Speaker 1: overly enthusiastic. It's fine, I'm here for it. I'm gonna
Speaker 1: go first. Okay, So a few years ago, I went
Speaker 1: on this two week cruise with some friends. It was amazing.
Speaker 2: We were having the best time, and then this one
Speaker 2: night I started getting on with this really cute guy.
Speaker 1: We took it back to my room. I've missed this,
Speaker 1: That's what I've missed this.
Speaker 2: We took it back to my room, and it started
Speaker 2: to get pretty hot and heavy, if you know what
Speaker 2: I mean.
Speaker 1: I think they were having sex.
Speaker 2: At one point, I really needed to pee, so I
Speaker 2: got up and I went to the bathroom just to
Speaker 2: do a quick little WHI.
Speaker 1: When I came back, we continued to get it on,
Speaker 1: but I noticed that the fitted sheet on the bed
Speaker 1: was missing.
Speaker 2: I was so confused, and I just casually asked, Oh,
Speaker 2: where did the sheet go? He responded, Oh, I don't know.
Speaker 2: I didn't really think much of it, as I thought
Speaker 2: we had just kicked it off. During the sex. He
Speaker 2: ended up leaving the room by the end of the night.
Speaker 2: When we all woke up in the morning, one of
Speaker 2: my friends started cleaning up around the room. He noticed
Speaker 2: something shoved underneath the table. He pulled it out and
Speaker 2: legitimately shouted, what the actual, Oh my god, did you
Speaker 2: shit yourself? I turned around and he was holding up
Speaker 2: the fitted sheet from the bed and there was legitimately
Speaker 2: a huge shit on it.
Speaker 1: I burst out laughing.
Speaker 2: I was so confused as to what happened until I
Speaker 2: remember this guy obviously did a shit in the sheet.
Speaker 2: When I went to do my two minute WII. I
Speaker 2: explained to my friends what had happened, but they do
Speaker 2: not believe me, and they still to this day think
Speaker 2: I shipped the bed.
Speaker 1: I am so confused by this. What guy is taking
Speaker 1: a dump in bed in the time it took her
Speaker 1: to go and do a two minute WHII? That's actually
Speaker 1: you know what poose take a while. There's a lot
Speaker 1: of energy and effort that has to go im yourself comfortable.
Speaker 1: So she's fucked.
Speaker 2: She's gone to do it. She's like, excuse me, I'm
Speaker 2: doing a WII. He's what cross his mind to be
Speaker 2: like this? Is the perfect time to do my shit.
Speaker 2: I will take the sheet off, shit to the sheet,
Speaker 2: wrap it up and hide it under the table and
Speaker 2: think that she won't. But also I think, what he's funny,
Speaker 2: is this my picture? She comes back from the bathroom.
Speaker 2: There's only two of them in the room. She's been
Speaker 2: gone for two minutes. She's like, where's the sheet.
Speaker 1: He's like, well, I don't know, Like what could have
Speaker 1: happened to the sheet that you don't know? Not two minutes? Okay,
Speaker 1: they must have been drinking. Firstly, because that's why you're like, oh,
Speaker 1: maybe the sheet wasn't there. Maybe maybe we pulled it off.
Speaker 1: I don't know. But secondly, my question is was it
Speaker 1: a solid log, Like what was the consistency because maybe
Speaker 1: he had just done a fart and it accidentally came through.
Speaker 2: No, she said there were marks down there, like puh
Speaker 2: marks if he's wipe his butt with it as well,
Speaker 2: he's done a pooh, he's wiped the.
Speaker 1: Butt because because this is the other gross thing. She
Speaker 1: came back and they said they continued to get it on,
Speaker 1: so he shut wiped the butt, hit it and then
Speaker 1: continued to get it on with it. He has done
Speaker 1: this to absolutely f with her, like that's the only
Speaker 1: reason he has done it to be like like this
Speaker 1: is like his sick fetish and he does this and
Speaker 1: then disappears. He'd only do it on a one night
Speaker 1: stand when he's never gonna see the person again. So bro,
Speaker 1: you're on a cruise. Shit, you're gonna see them the
Speaker 1: next day.
Speaker 2: Wow, unless he got like the alcohol poos, you know
Speaker 2: how sometimes you just really need to go. What if
Speaker 2: it hit him in that moment. I'm giving the guy a.
Speaker 1: Benefit of doubt.
Speaker 2: What if it hit him in that moment when she
Speaker 2: was on the whilet and he just had nothing to do?
Speaker 2: Like what that's what I if if that happened to me.
Speaker 2: The sheet's the perfect thing.
Speaker 1: If that happened to me, I'd take it dump in
Speaker 1: the So like.
Speaker 2: If you had to if you're a room and you
Speaker 2: had to do it done really quickly, like I'm talking
Speaker 2: you had seconds, what would you grab to do it?
Speaker 1: In a pillow case? Would be better than the sheets?
Speaker 1: Good call? Like tie it up? Well that one time
Speaker 1: I took a dumb through my pillow and hurl it
Speaker 1: out the window into the ocean. Why did you live
Speaker 1: in the room? Put it in the ocean. Also that
Speaker 1: I don't.
Speaker 2: Want to litter guys, but like, that's what I would
Speaker 2: do if I was in that awkward situation.
Speaker 1: Now, my other question is she must have been drunk,
Speaker 1: because could you imagine how smelly that sheet would have
Speaker 1: been folded up and put under the bed. Like if
Speaker 1: you were deeming turd in the corner of your cabins,
Speaker 1: those aren't big cabins, well, you'd be getting it on
Speaker 1: and you'd be like, what is this ambient waft of
Speaker 1: turd that keeps coming through here? That's obviously why he
Speaker 1: did a runner too. Wow. I love that. I love
Speaker 1: the story.
Speaker 2: It's funny, but also I love the fact that, like
Speaker 2: there's no escape, she's going to seem somewhere on the
Speaker 2: cruise the next day.
Speaker 1: I hate sometimes we get these stories that come in
Speaker 1: and I'm like, they're just vastly unbelievable, but I'm also
Speaker 1: here for it, and I remember some of the fed
Speaker 1: up ship that's happened in my life, and then I'm like, oh, well,
Speaker 1: maybe that did happen to that person, and it makes
Speaker 1: me feel a little bit better about myself. Do you
Speaker 1: have one? I do have one, And the reason why
Speaker 1: this is so funny. Actually, maybe i'll read out the
Speaker 1: story to you and then I'll tell you why I
Speaker 1: think this is so funny. All right, here it is.
Speaker 1: I started dating this guy and one day he asked
Speaker 1: me over. At the time, he was flatting with his
Speaker 1: older sister and she had gone out with her partner
Speaker 1: for the afternoon. I hadn't met it yet, and the
Speaker 1: plan was that we were going to have a barbecue
Speaker 1: together in the evening. Things got a little bit steamy
Speaker 1: as no one was home yet, and we made a
Speaker 1: dash to the bedroom to get down and dirty. So
Speaker 1: he puts on a condom, grabs a bottle of lube
Speaker 1: to get the situation a little bit slippery, and off
Speaker 1: we went. About five seconds in, I knew that something
Speaker 1: wasn't right. I know what this is. All of a sudden,
Speaker 1: my lady bits were on fire. I gasped, and I
Speaker 1: pushed him off me. I was panicking and could hardly
Speaker 1: speak because the pain was so bad. What the hell
Speaker 1: did you fucking use? He innocently held up a bottle
Speaker 1: of shampoo. I didn't have any loubs, so I thought
Speaker 1: this would be okay, hardly knowing the layout of the house.
Speaker 1: I flew out of the bedroom completely naked. The pain
Speaker 1: was so bad I jumped in the freezing cold shower,
Speaker 1: threw my legs up in the air, and positioned myself
Speaker 1: under the stream of water, trying to stop the burning.
Speaker 1: After thirty minutes, I tried to get out, but the
Speaker 1: pain started again. He finally came in to check on
Speaker 1: me and asks, H, So, my sister's home and she's
Speaker 1: getting kind of angry because you're using all the shower water.
Speaker 1: I have ever met the sister yet. Once I softly
Speaker 1: rinsed myself off and contained the fire between my legs,
Speaker 1: I sheepishly made my way out like a drowned rat.
Speaker 1: The barbecue was on, and by the looks on everyone's faces,
Speaker 1: my situation had been made in use. I took it
Speaker 1: on the chin and we've been together for six more years. Okay,
Speaker 1: have you ever been in a situation where someone's used
Speaker 1: something other than lubricant?
Speaker 2: I was trying to think this. I absolutely have not,
Speaker 2: But my sister has I fucking out her on the podcast.
Speaker 1: I was gonna say, everyone knows, Sherry, what have they used?
Speaker 2: We are going to get a Sherry on to do
Speaker 2: an episode.
Speaker 1: She can tell her own story. Then Sherry's like, so
Speaker 1: it turns out peanut butter is not a very good lubricant,
Speaker 1: especially when you have analogy, but it is good for
Speaker 1: car bloating. Okay. No. So I started reading this accidentally
Speaker 1: unfiltered out to Matt and I was like, is this funny?
Speaker 1: And I was having good chuckle to it. I got
Speaker 1: to the point where I was like, my lady bits
Speaker 1: are on fire. And Matt goes, oh, did he use shampoo? Oh?
Speaker 1: So this is a thing, And I was like, I
Speaker 1: am sorry, how did you know that? How did you
Speaker 1: know that the answer to this accidentally unfiltered with shampoo?
Speaker 1: And he goes, oh, I've done it before. He's like,
Speaker 1: that was me to a girl in the shower. So
Speaker 1: it turns out that it's mad my partner has had
Speaker 1: sex with another woman. I mean, firstly, that's one thing
Speaker 1: I've got to overcome. And then we know that with
Speaker 1: another woman in a shower and he's dumped half a
Speaker 1: bottle of shampoo up a vagina and apparently it's not
Speaker 1: the thing to use for lup. Why do men think
Speaker 1: that this is okay?
Speaker 2: How do they think that that is not going to
Speaker 2: be a problem for the woman's vagina.
Speaker 1: I would prefer a man used conditioner than you shampoo.
Speaker 1: I don't think you should be.
Speaker 2: Putting anything anything at all, not even like the only
Speaker 2: thing I would probably use coconut. That's what's gonna say.
Speaker 2: That's actually the funny thing with my sister's story, but
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna know.
Speaker 1: I want to tell you so bad. Al Right, guys,
Speaker 1: I think that's another episode. I think we've told enough
Speaker 1: for what I do want to say, though, enough.
Speaker 2: If you guys are listening to this and you know
Speaker 2: that your partner or someone has used something that they
Speaker 2: really shouldn't use for lube, we want to know about.
Speaker 1: It because I want to read it out next week.
Speaker 2: I want to know the weirdest, most wonderful things you
Speaker 2: guys have tried to use.
Speaker 1: To get it on. I'm here for it.
Speaker 2: Okay, guys, we have done a lot of talking. We
Speaker 2: have covered a lot this morning.
Speaker 1: But there is one thing that I've been dying to
Speaker 1: chat about, and I know you have all been dying
Speaker 1: to chat about, and that is the fact that we've
Speaker 1: been on break for five weeks and we had a
Speaker 1: good reason.
Speaker 2: That is because Superwoman over here had a baby. She
Speaker 2: pushed a baby out of a vagina, a very.
Speaker 1: Big baby with a very big head, but a very
Speaker 1: very cute baby. I've also already lactated all down the
Speaker 1: front of myself whilst we've been recording this episode. Okay,
Speaker 1: I didn't want to say a full on wet patch
Speaker 1: on one side of my shirt.
Speaker 2: I didn't want to say anything, but I was looking
Speaker 2: at you before and I could see the patch because
Speaker 2: I knew that Lola was almost due for feed and
Speaker 2: I was like, do you know what, I'm not going
Speaker 2: to rub this in a face. I'm not going to
Speaker 2: embarrass I'm not embarrass you.
Speaker 1: I'm not going to bring it up. I'm just gonna
Speaker 1: let it talk.
Speaker 2: She's in the middle of a spiel about married at
Speaker 2: first sight, but the patch was growing in front of
Speaker 2: my eyes, and I thought it was really cute.
Speaker 1: I've never ever embarrassed. But it's really funny that your
Speaker 1: tits actually say to you, like your boobs, go feed
Speaker 1: your child, feed your child. Okay, you get a tingling
Speaker 1: sensation in your nipples and then all of a sudden,
Speaker 1: you're just lactating down the front of yourself.
Speaker 2: But we do have a very very cute new member
Speaker 2: that is part of the Life Uncut family, and that
Speaker 2: is little Lola Ellis. So congratulations, Laura.
Speaker 1: I feel like I'm in. It was so weird because
Speaker 1: we've spoken to each other so many times, I know,
Speaker 1: but like, I feel like it's weird.
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm about to interview, like you're not
Speaker 2: the podcast host.
Speaker 1: But so much for having me here. He's coming on
Speaker 1: Life on Card. As you guys probably already know as well,
Speaker 1: Britt kept on referring to the fact that if I
Speaker 1: ended up having a girl, because Matt and I were
Speaker 1: so convinced that it was a boy, if we had
Speaker 1: a girl, the name was after Britney. And I'm sure
Speaker 1: you now have all put two and two together that
Speaker 1: Britt thinks that I have named Lola because Britt likes
Speaker 1: to use the term lol. It kills me on Lola Derby,
Speaker 1: That's what it was, many many different different variations of lol.
Speaker 1: But anyway, No, I didn't name my child that. It
Speaker 1: was almost the reason why I changed my child's name.
Speaker 1: But the fir forever, I always thought that if I hadn't,
Speaker 1: I always thought if I had another girl, I would
Speaker 1: name her Lola, and I wasn't going to let Britney
Speaker 1: Hockley ruin it for me anyway.
Speaker 2: You named your child after me, whatever. You had a
Speaker 2: complicated pregnancy, I don't want to say complicated, but you
Speaker 2: were really unwell for a long time. You were far
Speaker 2: more unwell with Lola than you were with Mali, especially
Speaker 2: towards the end. And there were a few episodes at
Speaker 2: the end where Laura, you know, that she couldn't make
Speaker 2: it onto the podcast, and we had Matt feel in
Speaker 2: for her. We did reiterate at the time that if
Speaker 2: that ever happens, there is a solid reason. And Laura
Speaker 2: was in and out of hospital at the end, which
Speaker 2: we didn't really want to go into. Laura didn't really
Speaker 2: want to go into at the time because there were
Speaker 2: bigger things for her to worry about, which was obviously
Speaker 2: the health of her child. Laura, you can jump into that.
Speaker 2: Things went downhill pretty rapidly at the end there.
Speaker 1: Well. I guess one of the things that I experienced
Speaker 1: in this pregnancy, which I didn't experience in Maley's pregnancy
Speaker 1: like Marley's, was it was easy, Like honestly, I felt
Speaker 1: like this pregnant unicorn and I almost kind of hated
Speaker 1: talking about my pregnancy with Marley at the time because
Speaker 1: I felt like I couldn't relate to other people who
Speaker 1: had had really challenging pregnancies. And then I felt like
Speaker 1: I was that asshole who was like, being pregnant is wonderful.
Speaker 1: And then spoiler, this time not quite the case. I
Speaker 1: was in and out of hospital only because I was
Speaker 1: having to go into hospital for pain. It wasn't like
Speaker 1: I was kept in hospital. I couldn't manage the pain
Speaker 1: that I was having with Lola. And basically, I'm sure
Speaker 1: some of you will remember, we didn't ask guncut episode,
Speaker 1: and I genuinely thought I had gone into labor a
Speaker 1: few days earlier and Matt had filled in for me.
Speaker 1: But what was happening is that that feeling of thinking
Speaker 1: I was going into labor I had started to happen
Speaker 1: more frequently and it had gotten way more intense. So
Speaker 1: there's a thing that some people experience, or most pregnant
Speaker 1: women experience, which is called Braxton Hicks.
Speaker 2: And it's like the old phantom labor, isn't it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm getting you ready, and like it can be painful,
Speaker 1: but it shouldn't be so painful that you cannot speak
Speaker 1: or move, and you're on the floor on your hands
Speaker 1: and knees in agony, screaming. So I was having these
Speaker 1: contractions which were happening like really rhythmically every sort of
Speaker 1: eight minutes or so, then down to five minutes and
Speaker 1: down to four minutes, and the pain was so severe
Speaker 1: that I couldn't walk or talk or do anything. And
Speaker 1: by the end of it, I was in hospital and
Speaker 1: I had been given more phaine to try and deal
Speaker 1: with the pain, but I wasn't in labor. They didn't
Speaker 1: know why I was having this pain. They couldn't explain
Speaker 1: to me what was going on. But the problem is,
Speaker 1: so it never ever eventuated into actually becoming labor. And
Speaker 1: what the only thing that they could kind of tell
Speaker 1: me that I had is And it's kind of a
Speaker 1: blame a term for when they don't really know what's
Speaker 1: wrong with you. And it's called irritable uterus. And so
Speaker 1: I don't think anyone ever wants an irritable or anything.
Speaker 1: You don't want an irritable bell, you don't want to
Speaker 1: be irritated. You don't want to irritable uterus basic, or
Speaker 1: an irutable boyfriend. I always had an irritable boyfriend. I
Speaker 1: originally was with the public hospital, and I was going
Speaker 1: through public at Royal Women's and I ended up transferring
Speaker 1: to be with a private obstetrician who was amazing, And
Speaker 1: I just had this wild anxiety this time that something
Speaker 1: was going to be wrong with the baby. And I
Speaker 1: didn't experience that with Marley. I always felt really confident
Speaker 1: and really fine during my pregnancy with Marley, but this
Speaker 1: time I was convinced that there was going to be
Speaker 1: something wrong with Lola because of everything that had been happening.
Speaker 1: So what happened was is I went in and had
Speaker 1: some tests done whilst I was having this pain. I
Speaker 1: went and had some ultrasounds, and they went and did
Speaker 1: some measurements. They checked the baby's heart rate and everything,
Speaker 1: and some of the measurements came back abnormal. But they
Speaker 1: sent me home at the time because they didn't have
Speaker 1: the right obstrition in there and everything else was like
Speaker 1: see normal, And my paint had started to go away,
Speaker 1: so they were like, look, go home, monitor it and
Speaker 1: we'll give you a call in a few days. So
Speaker 1: a few days later, I got a phone call from
Speaker 1: my midwife, and my midwife had said we need you
Speaker 1: to come back in and have another test done because
Speaker 1: there was some levels for the baby that were abnormal.
Speaker 1: This at this time, I was about thirty six weeks pregnant,
Speaker 1: and I was like, okay, what are those levels and
Speaker 1: what's abnormal? And what's abnormal? Yeah, and they were like, look,
Speaker 1: there's some fluid on the baby's brain and we need
Speaker 1: to test because it could be a sign that your
Speaker 1: baby has feedal anemia. And this is all over the
Speaker 1: phone call, and I was like, okay, what does feedle
Speaker 1: anemia mean? So if the baby has feedle anemia, then
Speaker 1: what could that indicate? And then the midwife said, you know,
Speaker 1: if the baby does have fetal anemia, we then need
Speaker 1: to rule out another thing, which is called hydrops. And
Speaker 1: of course, like when someone tells you a word on
Speaker 1: the phone, you're like, I'm going to google what that is. Right,
Speaker 1: So this has happened on the Monday, and she said
Speaker 1: you need to come back in on the Friday for
Speaker 1: this test to be done. And I was like, okay,
Speaker 1: well they need to rule out this thing high drops.
Speaker 1: What the hell's hydrops? So I obviously looked up high
Speaker 1: drops on my computer.
Speaker 2: Of course, which is the worst thing, Like, it's actually
Speaker 2: what that nurse did was not right. She should never
Speaker 2: have dropped that on you and then said see you
Speaker 2: in five days.
Speaker 1: See you in five days. So high drops is actually
Speaker 1: called hydrops fatalis. It's a fatal illness that some babies
Speaker 1: have and basically, once they're born, they have no more
Speaker 1: than I think it's a ten percent survival rate, and
Speaker 1: it's because of this fluid that forms in their body
Speaker 1: and on their brains. I just went into absolute panic mode.
Speaker 1: And it was because I had been given this term
Speaker 1: and I didn't know what to do with it, and
Speaker 1: I was told that I had to wait five days
Speaker 1: to have it ruled out. That this was a possibility.
Speaker 1: Of course, when you.
Speaker 2: Google anything and anything medical, you're going to read every
Speaker 2: single thing about it, and you're going to read all
Speaker 2: the horror stories and you're going to think worst case scenario.
Speaker 1: And that's absolutely what you did, absolutely and I are
Speaker 1: called Matt. I called Matt straight away and I was like,
Speaker 1: I've just had this chat with the midwife and you know,
Speaker 1: the levels of what was tested are not normal, and
Speaker 1: then they want to do more tests to rule out
Speaker 1: this thing that they've told me about on the phone
Speaker 1: that is completely fatal. At thirty six weeks, I was
Speaker 1: hysterical and Paul Matt was also hysterical. And it was
Speaker 1: at that point that we made the decision that we
Speaker 1: were going to go through a private obstetrician because we
Speaker 1: wanted to have one point of contact from then on
Speaker 1: and we wanted to be able to get the test
Speaker 1: done sooner, just because I couldn't. I couldn't wait in
Speaker 1: this limbo of five days not knowing if anything was
Speaker 1: going to be okay. It was the worst five days
Speaker 1: I think I have ever had, and to stress and
Speaker 1: anxiety being told that this could be what your baby has,
Speaker 1: which is non viable and non viable pregnancy, and then
Speaker 1: no support from that after it gob smacks me and
Speaker 1: you know what, Look, everything is absolutely fine. Lalla is
Speaker 1: so healthy and she's beautiful. And once I did go
Speaker 1: with the private obstetrition and we had a secondary lot
Speaker 1: of tests done, it turned out that, you know, that
Speaker 1: all the levels had gone back down to normal, so
Speaker 1: something had gone wrong when I was having this pain.
Speaker 1: It was obviously affecting the baby, and the baby was
Speaker 1: in distry because that's why all these levels were elevated,
Speaker 1: and then when the pain had gone away, the levels
Speaker 1: went back down to normal. So it was something that
Speaker 1: was managed, and then I had a really really great
Speaker 1: experience with my obstetrician for the next sort of two
Speaker 1: and a half weeks, I guess before I actually had Lola,
Speaker 1: But there was a lot of questions that came in
Speaker 1: when I put it up on my social media, like
Speaker 1: you know, what do you guys want to know? A
Speaker 1: lot of people asked why was I induced? And that
Speaker 1: was the reason why I was induced, because they got
Speaker 1: to the point where they were like, Okay, we don't
Speaker 1: really know what's going on. We don't really know why
Speaker 1: there is a problem here, but we do know that
Speaker 1: you're at a point now where the baby is better
Speaker 1: off out than in, and we can manage any problems
Speaker 1: if those problems arise. And she was born and she
Speaker 1: was three point six kilos and she was absolutely perfect.
Speaker 1: So it's just like I literally had a goosebumps, I know,
Speaker 1: especially like seeing your friend go through something like that,
Speaker 1: like watching you go through that.
Speaker 2: I felt like when you had your miscarriage. We had
Speaker 2: a really great conversation about that. Guys, If you haven't
Speaker 2: listened to that episode about Laura going through a miscarriage,
Speaker 2: and then as a friend, what you can do to
Speaker 2: be there watching anyone that you love go through a
Speaker 2: situation like that and there's nothing you can do. There's
Speaker 2: absolutely heartbreaking. So when I remember when you were like,
Speaker 2: I'm just going to drop all this money for the
Speaker 2: next two weeks, you only had like a few weeks left,
Speaker 2: You're like, I don't even care. I just want to
Speaker 2: get the best person to relieve your stress and anxiety.
Speaker 2: And when you were like, the baby's healthy and fine
Speaker 2: and everything's gona be fine. I just can't imagine the
Speaker 2: relief you had.
Speaker 1: But also I think maybe that not even maybe it
Speaker 1: absolutely played into it hugely. I think once you've experienced miscarriage,
Speaker 1: it's really difficult to have a pregnancy where you don't
Speaker 1: have any anxiety around the baby's health or around what's
Speaker 1: going to happen. So I think the whole time I
Speaker 1: was pregnant with Lola, I found it really difficult to
Speaker 1: connect with the fact that I was pregnant. I found
Speaker 1: it really difficult to enjoy the pregnancy, and I at
Speaker 1: no point did I ever feel like, yes, I'm absolutely
Speaker 1: going to have this baby. I know that sounds crazy,
Speaker 1: but for the whole thirty eight weeks, I still had
Speaker 1: it in the back of my head that maybe this
Speaker 1: pregnancy was temporary and maybe it was not going to happen.
Speaker 1: So when I thought I was receiving that bad news,
Speaker 1: I was like, of course, like this is what my
Speaker 1: biggest fear has been realized, and this is what I
Speaker 1: have thought this whole pregnancy is. Even now at this point,
Speaker 1: with Lola being four weeks old, I still haven't completely
Speaker 1: overcome that fear and anxiety. Like I still sometimes look
Speaker 1: at her and she does very normal newborn things, and
Speaker 1: I think, is that normal? Is there something wrong with her?
Speaker 1: And I'm really struggling to overcome those thoughts.
Speaker 2: At the moment, I think that's really normal though literally
Speaker 2: obviously not coming from experience. But I remember my dad
Speaker 2: saying to me when I Sherry and I like his
Speaker 2: two baby girls. When Sherry and I went on this
Speaker 2: route on the world trip, we were like in the
Speaker 2: most dangerous countries in South America. I remember him just
Speaker 2: saying to me, let me know when you get home,
Speaker 2: even at like let me know when you get to
Speaker 2: the next country or whatever. And I remember being like, Dad,
Speaker 2: your helicopter parenting at you know, we're twenty six, twenty seven,
Speaker 2: twenty eight years old. And he was like, pretty, I
Speaker 2: don't think you understand as a parent, it never ends.
Speaker 2: He's like, I will never get a proper night sleep. Ever,
Speaker 2: while you're Galivationian on the other side of the world,
Speaker 2: He's like, the stress and the worry from the day
Speaker 2: you're born until the day they die, it's always going
Speaker 2: to be there. It's just something else just presents itself
Speaker 2: in a different way. Like when they're young and their newborns,
Speaker 2: it's you know, is something wrong that they can't tell
Speaker 2: me about? And then when it's old her is someone
Speaker 2: going to hurt them?
Speaker 1: Are they going to.
Speaker 2: Fall her at school? They've been bullied, something going to
Speaker 2: happen to me in another country? Like I think that
Speaker 2: what you're feeling now, it will never go away, It'll
Speaker 2: just evolve.
Speaker 1: Well, there's that beautiful quote, isn't there that having children
Speaker 1: is literally having your heart walking around on the outside
Speaker 1: of your body, which it is. And I still sometimes like,
Speaker 1: look at the person I am now, averse the person
Speaker 1: I was three or four years ago. And I think
Speaker 1: there was a time in my life where I didn't
Speaker 1: want to have kids. Before I met Matt and before
Speaker 1: like doing the show and everything, I thought, you know what,
Speaker 1: maybe kids aren't for me, Maybe I won't have children.
Speaker 1: And I kind of hate that I was that stereotype.
Speaker 1: I kind of hate that. Then I met someone and
Speaker 1: changed my mind. But I have so fund of until
Speaker 1: you changed as a person since becoming a mom, Like
Speaker 1: I'm far more patient, I'm far more accepting, I'm far
Speaker 1: more calm in a lot of areas of my life.
Speaker 1: And then I have such wild anxiety in other areas
Speaker 1: of my life that I never ever ever would have
Speaker 1: thought I would be high strung about your pregnancies. For me,
Speaker 1: I've been. I have been on a roller coaster. Oh god, Brittany,
Speaker 1: it must have been hard for me in terms of
Speaker 1: having kids. I mean, like I was the same as you.
Speaker 1: I was like, you know what, maybe kids aren't for me.
Speaker 1: That's because I've been single so long.
Speaker 2: I was always doing different businesses and different ideas and traveling.
Speaker 2: I was like, maybe that's not going to be my life.
Speaker 2: I didn't feel that craving than when you. I became
Speaker 2: close with you and you had your pregnancy with Maley.
Speaker 2: The pregnancy was so beautiful, and it was and Miley
Speaker 2: so beautiful and perfect. I was like, oh my God,
Speaker 2: like maybe I want kids. And then your pregnancy with
Speaker 2: Lola has been such the antithesis of your pregnancy with
Speaker 2: Maley that when you went through the pregnancy with Lola,
Speaker 2: I was like, oh, it's the best contraception. I was like,
Speaker 2: I am not having sex ever again, because you are
Speaker 2: on all fours. Every day, you were vomiting, every day,
Speaker 2: you were sick, you're in hospital. I was like, that's
Speaker 2: my contraception.
Speaker 1: Yeah. Gave me a whole new sense of appreciation for
Speaker 1: people who struggle with their pregnancies or for people who
Speaker 1: have challenging pregnancies. I was still vomiting up until the
Speaker 1: day that Lola was due. And you know the thing
Speaker 1: that I think people don't talk about is I felt
Speaker 1: a bit of resentment. And I hate saying this because
Speaker 1: I don't want this to get picked up in media
Speaker 1: and get misconstrued, Like I really want to be conscious
Speaker 1: about how I say this. But I never doubted for
Speaker 1: one second that I would feel bonded to Mali because
Speaker 1: I loved my pregnancy with her, and I knew the
Speaker 1: second she came out, I would love her. But with Lola,
Speaker 1: the pregnancy was so hard that I felt a little
Speaker 1: bit resentful, and I even remember saying to one of
Speaker 1: my girlfriends, I'm worried that when Lola is born, I
Speaker 1: will feel resentful for how sick I have felt and
Speaker 1: for how hard this has been. And you know, that
Speaker 1: feeling definitely absolved the moment that she was born. But
Speaker 1: she's a more challenging baby than Mally was. Like she
Speaker 1: is awake all the time, she cries all the time.
Speaker 1: She's a very, very different type of baby, and the
Speaker 1: experience has been a lot harder. But I do think
Speaker 1: the good thing about having a second child is that
Speaker 1: the first time with Marley, I do think the good
Speaker 1: thing is that she's the second child, and the first
Speaker 1: time with Marley. I mean, when you very first become
Speaker 1: a parent, you kind of have this fear of like,
Speaker 1: I'm never going to sleep again, I'm never gonna get
Speaker 1: my body back, I'm never going to get my life back.
Speaker 1: And then all of a sudden, they're two years old,
Speaker 1: Like time just goes so quickly, and so this time around,
Speaker 1: even though it has been more challenging with her in
Speaker 1: the world, physically, like she just is a more demanding
Speaker 1: baby than Mally was. I have a really great perspective
Speaker 1: of the fact that this time period is so short
Speaker 1: and it's going to go so quickly, and so I
Speaker 1: don't feel like I'm getting as hung up on the
Speaker 1: lack of sleep, on the tire tiring nature of it,
Speaker 1: of like how draining it all is, because I'm like, hey,
Speaker 1: this is just a phase, will be there. You definitely
Speaker 1: lulled into a false sense of security with Marley, like
Speaker 1: she tricked you big time. If you had Lola first,
Speaker 1: you probably wouldn't have had another care. I'd be like, mat,
Speaker 1: go get your tubes died, your tube side you sleep.
Speaker 1: This is how sleep to pride you are literally. But
Speaker 1: let's talk. I guess see your birth story.
Speaker 2: It obviously didn't go to plan as such because you
Speaker 2: did were induced and had to have the baby earlier.
Speaker 2: So I guess talk is through the story how it
Speaker 2: happened and how it differed from how you imagined it
Speaker 2: might happen.
Speaker 1: So I really really wanted to not be induced this
Speaker 1: time because I was induced with Marley, and I really
Speaker 1: wanted to have the experience of a natural birth, whatever
Speaker 1: that is. And it didn't happen. I was actually induced
Speaker 1: on the Tuesday, which was the tuesday that our last
Speaker 1: episode came out.
Speaker 2: Oh yeah, we will talk about this too. This woman
Speaker 2: is ridiculous, but we'll get to that.
Speaker 1: I was induced. I mean, I've done childbirth. I know
Speaker 1: it's painful, and I'd also had these series of like
Speaker 1: weird contraction, painful things happening that I was adamant. I
Speaker 1: didn't really want to feel any pain this time around.
Speaker 1: So I got in there to the hospital. I sat
Speaker 1: down on the bed. I wasn't even in labor. I
Speaker 1: wasn't even strapped up to the oxytocin, which is how
Speaker 1: they induced you. I hadn't even had my waters broken yet,
Speaker 1: and I was like, can I just get the epidural.
Speaker 1: She's in the car, she finds a head, She's like,
Speaker 1: can you get that ready? And then yeah, and the
Speaker 1: obstitution was like, actually, we like you to be an
Speaker 1: established labor. We like you to be having rhythmic contractions
Speaker 1: before we give you an epi durol And I was like, no,
Speaker 1: that's not gonna work for me. Don't want to feel it.
Speaker 2: Is labor a prerequisite for the epidural.
Speaker 1: Just sticking him. I've got an email I need to
Speaker 1: send out and I've got a bit of work to
Speaker 1: still do. Can I please get that epidurol now? Thanks? Yeah.
Speaker 1: I was completely completely different with this pregnancy because like
Speaker 1: the first time, I felt like I needed to experience
Speaker 1: the pain. They felt like I needed to justify the
Speaker 1: epidural to myself.
Speaker 2: Which is crazy, isn't it. It's like the fact that
Speaker 2: people I have heard women say before too, They're like,
Speaker 2: I feel like I'm cheating. I feel like I didn't
Speaker 2: even like I feel like I'm cheating myself in the
Speaker 2: world by not going through a painful labor.
Speaker 1: But I don't think. Sometimes the world has other plans.
Speaker 1: We yeah, and that is drugs. It's so funny. So
Speaker 1: Laura's like, I'm like, tell me when you own into labor,
Speaker 1: and we did. She literally was.
Speaker 2: Going to labor on the last episode. So guys, like,
Speaker 2: this woman did not have a break. We did not
Speaker 2: have a break. We worked up until the last hour,
Speaker 2: which was a whole nother story. But she's like, I'm like,
Speaker 2: tell me when you're going too labor. She messaged me.
Speaker 2: She's like, cool, it's happening. Wearing labor I'm like amazing.
Speaker 2: I was like, you go have your baby, like, I'm
Speaker 2: so excited. We're a small business. Business doesn't stop. So
Speaker 2: I'm like, you go have your baby. I'm going to
Speaker 2: look after things. And I could see these business emails
Speaker 2: coming in that are like joined, They're addressed to Laura
Speaker 2: and Brittany so that they're never ever missed. So I'm like,
Speaker 2: go have your baby. I'm going to look after business.
Speaker 2: WHOA see you in like a week or two. I'm
Speaker 2: in the email trying to reply to these business emails
Speaker 2: and Laura's emails are popping up from Laura to the
Speaker 2: to our bosses, and I'm like, what are you doing?
Speaker 1: What are you like? I was like, hang on, I'm
Speaker 1: like just wait a minute.
Speaker 2: I messages Laura back and I'm like, babe, like, you're
Speaker 2: having an actual baby right now. I've got this covered.
Speaker 2: Leave it with me. I'm all good, and she's like.
Speaker 1: Nah, I'm in between contractions. I'm good. I'm like, you
Speaker 1: are literally you are literally contracting and pushing a baby.
Speaker 2: She's like, nah, nah, I can't feel much right now,
Speaker 2: so I just get some stuff done.
Speaker 1: Guys. I want to tell you epidurals are the shit.
Speaker 1: You can do anything after you have an epidural. So
Speaker 1: I had finally gotten the epidural after much persuasion, and
Speaker 1: then I was like a bit bored, thought I'd get
Speaker 1: back on the emails.
Speaker 2: It was ridiculous and I was always like, I was like,
Speaker 2: you need to I just don't know how to block
Speaker 2: you from email. I can't do anything about it. You're ridiculous.
Speaker 2: But let's get into some questions.
Speaker 1: Okay, wait, but you think that's ridiculous. Whilst I was
Speaker 1: having contractions, Matt was making TikTok videos, which I think
Speaker 1: is way worse. That does not surprise me in the
Speaker 1: slightest No, it doesn't. See it would have been like
Speaker 1: content moment. Look, I mean I was in labor, like so,
Speaker 1: once my waters were broken and I was given epidural
Speaker 1: and I was, you know, having contractions consistently. I was
Speaker 1: in labor for ten hours. But when it came to
Speaker 1: actually pushing, after I was ten centimeters dilated, I only
Speaker 1: had to push for seventeen minutes before so she was out,
Speaker 1: which was like maybe six different pushes. Yeah, you can't
Speaker 1: give up that ten hours of work, ten hours of
Speaker 1: some cushy labor to push for seventeen minutes. It was
Speaker 1: that the labor and the birth was absolute chalk and
Speaker 1: cheese to Malie. Because Marley's birth, her pregnancy was easy,
Speaker 1: her as a baby was easy. Her birth, I would
Speaker 1: say her birth was very traumatic, whereas Lola's birth was
Speaker 1: an absolute, just angelic moment. It was so easy. But
Speaker 1: do you know what, then, this is something that we
Speaker 1: don't talk about enough as women. One in three women
Speaker 1: would describe their birth experience as traumatic. And obviously trauma
Speaker 1: is defined very differently from different people. You know, it's
Speaker 1: a very personal experience and so the definition of trauma
Speaker 1: is subjective. But I definitely don't think that And this
Speaker 1: is not to scare anyone. This is not to try
Speaker 1: and like strike the fear of God in you if
Speaker 1: you are pregnant. But I don't think we talk about
Speaker 1: what labor and birth is really like enough. And I
Speaker 1: think that a lot of people go into birth thinking
Speaker 1: it's not going to be what it is, or the
Speaker 1: experience is very different to what they're prepared for, because
Speaker 1: I think the actual mechanics around how it's going to feel,
Speaker 1: what your body experiences, what you can breathe away, and
Speaker 1: what you actually can't breathe away because you know, there
Speaker 1: is only so much of the pain that you can
Speaker 1: physically woosor breathe and breathe out that you're you know
Speaker 1: that you can kind of get on top of. And
Speaker 1: I think that every person is so different in how
Speaker 1: they manage and interpret pain. Every person is so different
Speaker 1: about how they feel about their body that for some
Speaker 1: people it is honestly one of the most traumatic and
Speaker 1: full on experiences that you're ever going to have. And
Speaker 1: for some people, you know, it's scared than when it
Speaker 1: comes to having their second baby. And I think that's
Speaker 1: why it's important to talk about the things that no
Speaker 1: one wants to talk about, because it's more realistic. But
Speaker 1: one of the number one questions that came in Laura,
Speaker 1: I am very curious about it too. Did you shut
Speaker 1: yourself when you're pushing?
Speaker 2: Did you also push a little poop pooh out?
Speaker 1: Everyone tell you this was the number one question. You're
Speaker 1: all a bunch of sickos. It was the number one
Speaker 1: question that I got asked. What came in two parts? Ay,
Speaker 1: did you shot yourself? B If that was yes, did
Speaker 1: you shoot yourself in front of Matt Okay? I hand
Speaker 1: on my heart. And do you know what the funny
Speaker 1: thing is is that the amount of people who then
Speaker 1: wrote back being like, of course you poohed yourself, because
Speaker 1: everyone who gives birth poohs theirself. Hand on my heart. I,
Speaker 1: in both pregnancies have never pooed in front of Matt,
Speaker 1: nor have I poohed during birth. Interesting, however, I know
Speaker 1: that that is super abnormal, but it is also to
Speaker 1: do with the fact that I took some laxatives for
Speaker 1: two days before, so you prepared for it, so you
Speaker 1: didn't poo yourself. No, okay, I didn't do it because
Speaker 1: I didn't want to pooh in front of Matt. I
Speaker 1: couldn't care less like I mean whatever, We've done everything
Speaker 1: in front of each other. It wasn't to do with that.
Speaker 1: It's because I am so petrified by the first pooh
Speaker 1: after birth that I made sure that I was clean
Speaker 1: as a whistle so I could go for as long
Speaker 1: as possible with having to pay. Why are you petrified
Speaker 1: on the first pooh after birth? So? Okay? Celest Barber
Speaker 1: has actually described this. She says that the first pooh
Speaker 1: after birth, this is very in depth. Guys. I'm kind
Speaker 1: of gross, but I'm gona tell you anyway. Celest Barber
Speaker 1: says that the first pooh after birth is the bravest
Speaker 1: pooh that anyone will ever do, And I'm pretty brave poos.
Speaker 1: I wholeheartedly agree with this sentiment that there is nothing
Speaker 1: more petrifying than if you've had stitches and you've had
Speaker 1: an episiotomy, then doing a Pooh two days or a
Speaker 1: day after having having a baby. Why is that? Because
Speaker 1: you think your inside are gonna come out? It just hurts,
Speaker 1: like painful. It is so painful. Doing a Pooh part
Speaker 1: was more painful than having Lola. Oh my god.
Speaker 2: I guess it's because it's so tender. I've just been
Speaker 2: through this trauma.
Speaker 1: Well, and you also don't have an epidurol anymore, like
Speaker 1: all of the drugs have worn off, like all the
Speaker 1: feel good has gone away, and you're just left with
Speaker 1: you and your Pooh in a bathroom trying your darnda
Speaker 1: just to get it out. Like and I remember with
Speaker 1: Marley how horrible that first pooh was, So I was
Speaker 1: like really prepared this time. I was like, I am,
Speaker 1: there ain't going to be anything in that passage and
Speaker 1: so yes.
Speaker 2: So how many days after into your food like two,
Speaker 2: Oh my god, yeah, you're an animal.
Speaker 1: There we go clean as we saw. So that's way
Speaker 1: too much information, but I knew that we were going
Speaker 1: to get there, so yeah, that soundlike laur A. Now
Speaker 1: the question that I have did you tear? Did you
Speaker 1: need stitches? How many did you need? I've never asked
Speaker 1: how many stitches I've had. So when I had Marley,
Speaker 1: I had a really really intense like I tore and
Speaker 1: I had an episiotomy, so that was not in a
Speaker 1: good way. This time with Lola, they did cut me.
Speaker 1: I had an episiotomy, and I tore a little bit,
Speaker 1: but nowhere near the extent of Marley. That was probably
Speaker 1: the hardest part of this whole birth. I had a
Speaker 1: lot of anxiety around my past experience with an episiotomy
Speaker 1: because I when I had Marley the first time, my
Speaker 1: stitches got infected and it took a really long time
Speaker 1: for me to heal properly with my first pregnancy, So
Speaker 1: when I was pushing and the doctor was like, put
Speaker 1: your hands down there, you can feel the head, and
Speaker 1: I was like, all right, I put my hands down
Speaker 1: there and I was like is that it? And everything
Speaker 1: just felt so weird. I couldn't tell what I was
Speaker 1: touching because I was so feeling. One, I was so swollen,
Speaker 1: and two I was like, that's you, Glitterius turn around
Speaker 1: and he goes, ah, you would hope that's the head.
Speaker 1: He's like, you'd be in a real state of worry
Speaker 1: if that was your vagina, and I'm like, I don't
Speaker 1: know anymore, that's all. But yeah, So when he said
Speaker 1: he needed to give me an a pisiotomy, I was like,
Speaker 1: I can't. I don't want one. Please don't do that.
Speaker 1: And it was because I thought it was going to
Speaker 1: be painful and I thought I would feel it. I
Speaker 1: didn't feel a thing. The epidural was really great this time.
Speaker 1: The problem I had with my first pregnancy was that
Speaker 1: my epidural wasn't strong enough and I felt my whole episiotomy.
Speaker 1: So that was why Marley's birth was quite traumatic. Was
Speaker 1: because I had an episiotomy with zero pain medication, which
Speaker 1: is not something you want to do. I felt like
Speaker 1: I was being stab or sliced open. Well you literally
Speaker 1: are like, that's what it is. But yeah, so this
Speaker 1: time I did have I did have an a pisiotomy,
Speaker 1: and I did tear, a first degree tear. But honestly,
Speaker 1: I don't want anyone to hear that and think that
Speaker 1: that's frightening, because I think we talk about tearing as
Speaker 1: though it's like the worst thing in the world. It
Speaker 1: is not as painful as you think it is going
Speaker 1: to be, especially if you've had any pain medication, and
Speaker 1: often they'll give you anesthesia anyway they think you're gonna tear.
Speaker 1: That part of it was fine, the stitches and that
Speaker 1: were fine. And as soon as you do have your baby,
Speaker 1: there's this like people talk about that the pain just
Speaker 1: goes away.
Speaker 2: That's what I wanted to ask, like, do you pull
Speaker 2: You don't pull a baby out, but do you actually
Speaker 2: get handed the child? Because you've seen all the movies,
Speaker 2: it's so glorified that there's this traumatic moment, there's so
Speaker 2: much pain, they're crying, it's blood, it's poohs, whatever else,
Speaker 2: and then they put the baby in your arms and
Speaker 2: then it's like the music starts and all the pain's
Speaker 2: gone and they glance down the baby and it's just
Speaker 2: like instant Heaven, is that real?
Speaker 1: It is exactly like that. So I put I did
Speaker 1: pull all out, so like only her head and her
Speaker 1: shoulders were out, and then the obstrition was like, you
Speaker 1: can pull your baby out, and so I bent down
Speaker 1: and I pulled Lola out, and I pulled her onto
Speaker 1: my chest. Were you on your back? I was on
Speaker 1: my back. Yeah, So pulled her out and I pulled
Speaker 1: her onto my chest. And the pain honestly does go away,
Speaker 1: or it does for me anyway. Instantly, however, it comes back. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that's a fleeting moment. So it goes away, and you
Speaker 1: think you're in the clear, and this is the problem,
Speaker 1: and this is what I did that I would really like,
Speaker 1: maybe think about it before you do what I did.
Speaker 1: I was like, oh, I feel great. I want to
Speaker 1: go have a shower. I want to go home. I'd
Speaker 1: literally just given birth. I want to go home. I
Speaker 1: don't want to be in the hospital. So I left
Speaker 1: as soon as I was able to, which was eight
Speaker 1: hours after I'd given birth. We got out of the hospital.
Speaker 1: And what I didn't realize at the time, one, going
Speaker 1: home to a toddler is really really hectic, and I
Speaker 1: probably should have had some more time to rest. But two,
Speaker 1: I was so jacked up on pain medication that I
Speaker 1: couldn't fucking feel anything now. And when I got home,
Speaker 1: that's when everything hit me. That's when the pain hit me.
Speaker 1: And you just don't have the ability to lay down
Speaker 1: and take it as easy at home as what you
Speaker 1: would do at the hospital. And I think when you're
Speaker 1: at hospital, people treat you differently. They treat you in
Speaker 1: a little bit more of a fragile way, whereas when
Speaker 1: you get home, people like, oh, you're home, so you're fine,
Speaker 1: get on with it. And so I was getting up
Speaker 1: and getting people cups of tea twelve hours after giving birth,
Speaker 1: and in my mind, I was like, what is this?
Speaker 1: This is crazy? And I was someone else not bringing
Speaker 1: me the tea? Yeah, and I was in so much pain.
Speaker 1: And then I had other people were at my house
Speaker 1: holding my baby whilst I was up getting them cups
Speaker 1: of tea, and I just thought, this is not right.
Speaker 1: Is wild to me, and this is not right. So
Speaker 1: I wish, in retrospect, I had spent more time allowing
Speaker 1: myself to recover. I just want to put a disclaimer
Speaker 1: in there that that was not me. And he was like,
Speaker 1: you're very good at making tea, though this is not
Speaker 1: a subtle swipe. So I guess, well, that's a good question.
Speaker 1: What is the one thing.
Speaker 2: That you wish you knew more of, or you wish
Speaker 2: people talked more of, or you wish was done differently
Speaker 2: about birth that people aren't speaking about, like one thing
Speaker 2: maybe you think you someone had spoken about before you
Speaker 2: went and gave birth.
Speaker 1: I think that in our society, and it's definitely something
Speaker 1: that I am guilty of. But I think that we
Speaker 1: congratulate an overly reward women who get on with life
Speaker 1: quickly after having a baby. And it almost said like, look,
Speaker 1: how great, Look how far she bounced back, look at
Speaker 1: her back doing Yeah, oh you left the house after
Speaker 1: a week, congratulations, you're so amazing. I think that then
Speaker 1: it also puts pressure on people to feel like that
Speaker 1: they should be doing that and they should be achieving
Speaker 1: after giving birth. Birth is so different for every single person.
Speaker 1: Some people physically cannot leave the house for three weeks
Speaker 1: after having a baby. I know that with Mary, I
Speaker 1: physically shouldn't have left the house for three weeks after
Speaker 1: having her, but I felt like I needed to be
Speaker 1: achieving still. I was going back to work. I was like,
Speaker 1: you know, on my emails, I felt like I needed
Speaker 1: to be doing stuff.
Speaker 2: Almost like you have something to prove exactly exactly.
Speaker 1: And I do think that we because we reward people
Speaker 1: and we say, oh, like, congratulations, I wasn't able to
Speaker 1: get out of the house when I had my baby
Speaker 1: at that age, or you know, like it sets this
Speaker 1: precedent that we can do everything, and as women, yeah,
Speaker 1: sure we can do everything. We're fucking amazing. We shouldn't
Speaker 1: have to, but we shouldn't have to and we shouldn't
Speaker 1: want to. You know, if there's ever going to be
Speaker 1: a time in life where you're allowed to take time
Speaker 1: out to heal, to be in a quiet space to
Speaker 1: really connect with your child, it's straight after giving birth.
Speaker 1: And if that takes you two weeks, if that takes
Speaker 1: you two months, if that takes you six months, I'm
Speaker 1: not leaven the house for a year. But honestly, though, like,
Speaker 1: if it takes you, it's just it's the most all
Speaker 1: encompassing change that you're ever going to experience that you
Speaker 1: really should be allowed to afford yourself the time to
Speaker 1: adjust to that change. And we are going to do
Speaker 1: an episode on this. It's the idea of the constant
Speaker 1: hustle and the harder you're working and the harder you're hustling,
Speaker 1: and the person that's sleeping the least amount is the
Speaker 1: person that must be succeeding. We will do an episode
Speaker 1: on that.
Speaker 2: But I also think it's a type of habit. I'm
Speaker 2: guilty of this. I don't have kids, but I'm guilty
Speaker 2: of the idea of I can't ever have time where
Speaker 2: I'm not doing something productive. And I know only.
Speaker 1: Other person I know that's an extremist in that sense
Speaker 1: is you.
Speaker 2: It's almost like, for so many years you've been so
Speaker 2: busy because you have been building your own businesses, and
Speaker 2: then you've had babies. You don't know how to not
Speaker 2: do anything. Like you physically, I know, you cannot sit
Speaker 2: there and really do nothing. Even if you're sitting there
Speaker 2: feeding and watching TV, you'll have one hand on an email.
Speaker 1: Yeah, And it's this misleading narrative that busy equals successful,
Speaker 1: you know. And also like, as women, we have been
Speaker 1: fed this idea that you can have it all. You know,
Speaker 1: you can have the babies, you can have the career,
Speaker 1: you can have the relationship, you can have the social network,
Speaker 1: and like, yes, we can have those things, but you
Speaker 1: can't have them all at the same time because the
Speaker 1: only thing that's going to do is give you immense burnout.
Speaker 1: I mean, I know that we've spoken about that in
Speaker 1: season one. We did a whole episode on you know
Speaker 1: you can't have it all at the same time, But
Speaker 1: I really think that that's something, especially now that we
Speaker 1: have added a whole new member to the mix, we
Speaker 1: should probably rehash that and talk about that because I
Speaker 1: really do think that there is such an extreme amount
Speaker 1: of pressure that we put on ourselves to just be
Speaker 1: fucking good at everything, and sometimes you have to stop
Speaker 1: and take time out for yourself and go, you know what,
Speaker 1: doing nothing is actually a bit of mental health and
Speaker 1: a bit of self care.
Speaker 2: I'm not kidding when I say this, and this, guys,
Speaker 2: is going to sound ridiculous. I'm aware of that. I
Speaker 2: just want to highlight something in my life. I am
Speaker 2: struggling and this year you're gonna laugh because you've just
Speaker 2: got two kids. In business, I am struggling to have
Speaker 2: a relationship successfully right now, just with other businesses. I've
Speaker 2: never had it, so I don't know. I've never had
Speaker 2: to share my time and it's such a little thing.
Speaker 2: I'm aware of that, but it's something I'm having to
Speaker 2: renavigate I'm like, how do I give so much of
Speaker 2: my time to someone else now when I have to
Speaker 2: be giving so much of my time to my work.
Speaker 2: And it's just something I'm having to navigate at a really,
Speaker 2: really small base level, and I will figure it out.
Speaker 2: So I can't imagine what it's like for people like
Speaker 2: you that have kids, that have a business and trying
Speaker 2: to have a relationship and trying to have a social
Speaker 2: life and do everything else.
Speaker 1: Well, what it does is like it makes me feel
Speaker 1: like a failure in other aspects of my life. So
Speaker 1: when I I feel like I'm being a good mum,
Speaker 1: I'm being a shit friend. When i feel like I'm
Speaker 1: being great at work, I'm being a shit mum. I
Speaker 1: never feel like I'm good at everything at the same time,
Speaker 1: And it's a constant battle with guilt that I play.
Speaker 1: And I think a lot of women play this battle
Speaker 1: where you know you've fed this idea that you can
Speaker 1: be great at everything and you just physically can't. And
Speaker 1: I know, I do think that Instagram is such a bullshit,
Speaker 1: fake show, Oh my god, such a dumpster fire, And
Speaker 1: sometimes I feel guilty about playing into that and perpetuating
Speaker 1: that storyline. You know, people write to me and they'll
Speaker 1: say on Instagram like, oh, like you're doing so well.
Speaker 1: You know, it's so amazing to see how you are
Speaker 1: getting out there and going to the zoo and doing
Speaker 1: stuff with Mali. And you're like, yeah, that was a
Speaker 1: bloody struggle. Yeah, And I'm like, I am not and
Speaker 1: that's why I do and I am trying to keep
Speaker 1: that conversation really authentic, but like, I am not succeeding.
Speaker 1: Like we have Tampa tantrums. I've not seen any of
Speaker 1: my friends in five weeks since Lla was born. I mean,
Speaker 1: I've seen you, but apart from you, I've not seen
Speaker 1: anybody else. And I'm like a fake friend. Really no,
Speaker 1: but you know what I mean.
Speaker 2: We see each other to work as well, like you're
Speaker 2: two birds one stone.
Speaker 1: But yeah, I think that social media plays such a
Speaker 1: huge role in perpetuating that idea that we can do everything.
Speaker 1: I agree. Thank you, You're doing a good job of
Speaker 1: keeping it real, all right.
Speaker 2: I want to know about after birth after what happens
Speaker 2: do you?
Speaker 1: Well?
Speaker 2: Yeah, like a your birth, like there is a there's
Speaker 2: literally an after birth, but then you have these am
Speaker 2: I correct me if I'm wrong? You have these pains
Speaker 2: after the birth, and like you don't just go back
Speaker 2: to normal, and you're like if vagina gets tired and
Speaker 2: you don't experience anything else. Like I remember you coming
Speaker 2: over and you're like, oh, I've got to change my
Speaker 2: path and I was like what, yeah, okay, yeah.
Speaker 1: Like what's that about. So for anybody who hasn't had
Speaker 1: a baby, then this might be information you don't know.
Speaker 1: If you have had a baby, you'll be like, oh, yeah,
Speaker 1: I've been there. So you bleed for a long time
Speaker 1: after having a baby. So I think we're on a
Speaker 1: week five now and I'm still bleeding. Really see, I
Speaker 1: didn't know that. Yeah, I think it's usually around six weeks.
Speaker 1: But if for everybody it's different. I mean, I know
Speaker 1: for one of my close girlfriends it was ten weeks,
Speaker 1: and for one of my friends it was only three
Speaker 1: and a half weeks, So it really varies. But you
Speaker 1: have very heavy bleeding after having a baby that continues
Speaker 1: for quite a substantial amount of time, and it obviously
Speaker 1: tapers off over time. I had a lot of blood
Speaker 1: clots this time, so it's pretty frightening to go to
Speaker 1: the bathroom and to have a blood clot the size
Speaker 1: of amandarin fall out of you and be like, oh,
Speaker 1: that's like a second child. I think my servix had
Speaker 1: just fallen out of somebody fell into the toilet. Oh
Speaker 1: look at that pro lapse there, guys. Whoops you. But
Speaker 1: I had a lot of clots after having Lola, so
Speaker 1: basically I had given birth and then had to You
Speaker 1: have to birth the placenta, which sounds weird, but they
Speaker 1: also can give you an injection. So after having Lola,
Speaker 1: the nurse came to me and was like, do you
Speaker 1: want the injection which will help you to have contractions
Speaker 1: to get the placenta out, And it means that the
Speaker 1: placenta comes out in one piece instead of it being
Speaker 1: broken or bit's being left behind. And I was like, yep,
Speaker 1: I've had every other drug. Give me some more. Get
Speaker 1: her out. So my placenter came out really easily. And
Speaker 1: the placenta is weird. It's like your body creates a
Speaker 1: whole other organ. It's an organ that is grows just
Speaker 1: for the purpose of birth, and then you get rid
Speaker 1: of it and it's massive and it smells weird.
Speaker 2: The whole thing is weird. People eat it too. I
Speaker 2: have had friends that they sent them plus center off.
Speaker 1: That not kidding. They send them plus center.
Speaker 2: Off and there are people that make it into capsules
Speaker 2: because it's I mean, it's the most nutritious thing you
Speaker 2: can feed your body. It literally is, because it keeps
Speaker 2: a baby alive. Then they take the tablets.
Speaker 1: I have heard of all this. Look, I have zero
Speaker 1: judgment in anybody who wants to eat their placenta or
Speaker 1: who uh puts it in their hair, whatever you want
Speaker 1: to do with it. Highly nourishing, I know this, but
Speaker 1: it's not for me. So no, I didn't keep my placenter.
Speaker 1: They put it in a tray and they probably put
Speaker 1: it in the bin. But then I had a lot
Speaker 1: of blood clots after that, so that was something that
Speaker 1: I had to manage for the next couple of days.
Speaker 1: Everything after birth is weird, Like when you breastfeed, you
Speaker 1: get contractions, so that's something people don't know. So every
Speaker 1: time you feed your baby, you feeding your baby releases
Speaker 1: a hormone that helps your uterus contract back down to
Speaker 1: its normal size. So every time you feed for those
Speaker 1: first couple of days after having a baby, you have
Speaker 1: a gush of blood again because it's your uterus starting
Speaker 1: to contract and go back down and it takes several
Speaker 1: weeks for your uterus to even go back down to
Speaker 1: the size that it normally was. It's just stuff no
Speaker 1: one talks about. And the after birth. So those contractions
Speaker 1: that you have while breastfeeding, they can be incredibly painful,
Speaker 1: and they can be more and more painful with each
Speaker 1: consecutive pregnancy. So with Marley, they were painful, but they
Speaker 1: were top like I could tolerate them. With Lola, I
Speaker 1: remember I was like I had to go and have
Speaker 1: a hot shower because I was in agony after feeding Lola,
Speaker 1: because I felt like I was in labor again. Like
Speaker 1: that's the level of the contractions that you can have,
Speaker 1: and no one, no one talks about it. No one says, oh,
Speaker 1: how did you deal with your after birth pains? Have
Speaker 1: two ends, have two panadoles and two neuropan and a
Speaker 1: lie down. You know, women tell you women are not
Speaker 1: given enough credit.
Speaker 2: I'm being like, from the day you conceived, the whole
Speaker 2: time till it's already out and you're still feeding after
Speaker 2: and you're stilling agonies like women men should be cherishing
Speaker 2: the ground we walk on.
Speaker 1: But the you know, and I know that everyone says this,
Speaker 1: but like the female body is so incredible what it
Speaker 1: can achieve and what it can do, and how it
Speaker 1: goes back to what it was like, that's the thing
Speaker 1: that it still blows my mind. I mean when I
Speaker 1: was pregnant, I was telling you guys all about my
Speaker 1: swollen vagina. Hey, I do have a question. It's back
Speaker 1: to normal. I looked down literally about five days after
Speaker 1: having Laula, and I was like, that's the vagina I remember.
Speaker 1: Good to see you.
Speaker 2: So it's gone back to normal. Great love that for you.
Speaker 2: Happy congrass. I literally ran out and showed man. I
Speaker 2: was like, look, it's back.
Speaker 1: Get on me. No, not yet, not until I'm on
Speaker 1: birth control. I'm not having another baby for a while.
Speaker 2: Has he tried your breast milk? And has he done
Speaker 2: it from nimble?
Speaker 1: Wow?
Speaker 2: Was that a question that came in over Instagram? No,
Speaker 2: it was just mebeing a Sico. Okay, absolutely not.
Speaker 1: He he always said he was going to try it,
Speaker 1: but he never actually has. However, I'll I would, I
Speaker 1: would try it. I would try it. However, I was
Speaker 1: sitting in the bath and Matt was like fully closed,
Speaker 1: sitting on the toilet having conversations. So I was laying
Speaker 1: in the bath and we were just chatting. And sometimes
Speaker 1: when you have a hot shower of hot bath, your
Speaker 1: boob will just start leaking because the hot, the steam
Speaker 1: and everything just gets your milk flowing. So I like,
Speaker 1: my boob just started spraying milk in the bath and
Speaker 1: we're having a chat and he was like, how far
Speaker 1: can it spray? And I was like, I, reckon, I
Speaker 1: could hit you with it from here if I try
Speaker 1: it well, like a squeeze yeah, And he was like, nah,
Speaker 1: shut up, and I was like, yeah, I reckon, I
Speaker 1: could squirt you with it, and he was like really,
Speaker 1: And then in the same action, I sq straight across
Speaker 1: the face. I just squeeze it to do that. Well.
Speaker 1: I even surprised myself. I didn't actually think it was
Speaker 1: dinner hit him in the face, but it hit him
Speaker 1: straight across the face. So did he try it then
Speaker 1: lick it off his shoe? Jesus, No. I don't think
Speaker 1: that's sick. I think that's normal. I think there's going
Speaker 1: to be a lot of people listening to this podcast
Speaker 1: who are going to turn it off at this point.
Speaker 1: I don't think no.
Speaker 2: I think tasting breast milk, like I reckon, A lot
Speaker 2: of people will be the opposite.
Speaker 1: I reckon, A lot of people will be like, yeah,
Speaker 1: of course we tried it. Isn't it weird though that
Speaker 1: we think trying our own human breast milk is weird,
Speaker 1: but we're quite okay with drinking cow's milk, isn't that?
Speaker 1: This is my point? Have you tried your own breast milk? Yeah,
Speaker 1: of course I've tried my own breast milk. I thought
Speaker 1: I was sweet. That's what I try it. Okay, I'm
Speaker 1: not going to give you my breast milk. Don't be weird.
Speaker 1: I'm trying not to be weird, but I'm interested. All right, Well,
Speaker 1: I mean, if you really want it, I can put
Speaker 1: it in a cup and I'll walk away, and if
Speaker 1: it's drunk by the time I get back or we
Speaker 1: know what happens, give me an AREO with it? Okay? So,
Speaker 1: I mean, do you have any other question? Most of
Speaker 1: these questions that Britta is asking have actually come from
Speaker 1: you guys specifically, and come over Instagram, so she's not
Speaker 1: totally the sick ol in the situation. No, they have
Speaker 1: come from the Instagram. From the Instagram, I do have
Speaker 1: some more questions, but they're pretty big ones, and I
Speaker 1: actually think there is a lot to them that I
Speaker 1: think will make a whole episode on and that is
Speaker 1: things like gender disappointment that he s things like baby blues,
Speaker 1: the feeling that you know, not everyone has a baby
Speaker 1: and then feels totally fine and gets on with life.
Speaker 1: Some people feel really down about it, and baby blues
Speaker 1: is a real thing, oh absolutely, and you know it's
Speaker 1: a hormone imbalance as well. I mean, I definitely think
Speaker 1: that we should talk about this idea of gender disappointment.
Speaker 1: Like you guys all know that I was so convinced
Speaker 1: that we were having a boy that I definitely wasn't disappointed,
Speaker 1: but I was shocked and it took me a while
Speaker 1: to accept the fact that maybe I won't be a
Speaker 1: mum to a boy. That was something that definitely took
Speaker 1: me a while to kind of comprehend. And I love
Speaker 1: Lola and I'm so happy that she is who she is,
Speaker 1: but at the same time, I was like, I've always
Speaker 1: thought that I would have a son, and I always
Speaker 1: believe that I would be a mum to a boy.
Speaker 1: And I know that Matt felt that exact same feeling,
Speaker 1: And there's so much to it because you're not allowed
Speaker 1: to say that you're disappointed by the gender of your child,
Speaker 1: because you're so lucky and privileged to have a child
Speaker 1: in the first place, that it's like you can't verbalize
Speaker 1: those things because it's ungrateful. But it doesn't mean that
Speaker 1: people don't still feel those feelings, and it doesn't mean
Speaker 1: that those feelings aren't still real and valid. This is
Speaker 1: why I think there's a whole topic, you know, a
Speaker 1: whole big chat. Because I had a good friend that
Speaker 1: was really open with me. She's got a few kids,
Speaker 1: but her first child, she for whatever reason, she was
Speaker 1: just convinced it was a girl. There was no science
Speaker 1: behind it. She was just convinced it was a girl.
Speaker 1: Everyone thought it was a girl. Everyone told it was
Speaker 1: a girl. Everone's like, oh the way he carrying a girl.
Speaker 1: She wanted a girl.
Speaker 2: She was always gonna be happy with whatever she'd bought
Speaker 2: girl things. I came out she had a boy, and
Speaker 2: she said to me, don't get me wrong, like I'm
Speaker 2: obsessed with my son. I love him, But I would
Speaker 2: be lying if I didn't say I had gender disappointment.
Speaker 2: And I had never heard of it. But it's a
Speaker 2: thing because she went and spoke to someone about it.
Speaker 2: And it's not that she doesn't love for him. It's
Speaker 2: not that she doesn't have the connection, because she did,
Speaker 2: but it took her a while to get her head
Speaker 2: around the same thing. She's like, I didn't know what
Speaker 2: to do with him. I had not let myself even
Speaker 2: think I was having a boy. He was this boy,
Speaker 2: and I had dressed him in pink clothes because that's
Speaker 2: all I had. She literally did not buy anything, so
Speaker 2: the first couple of days he was like in these
Speaker 2: pretty questionable outfits. But she was like, I think more
Speaker 2: people need to speak about it, because it's not taking
Speaker 2: away from the fact that I'm grateful and I love
Speaker 2: the child, but I had these feelings.
Speaker 1: It's a real thing.
Speaker 2: And she's spoken to other mothers and they've had it,
Speaker 2: so I I think a lot of people feel that,
Speaker 2: but no one feels like they're allowed to talk about
Speaker 2: it because they think people are going to judge them
Speaker 2: for not being grateful and not being thankful, and you
Speaker 2: should just be happy that you have this healthy child.
Speaker 2: I mean, the reality is that there are people out
Speaker 2: there who would judge them. You know that there are
Speaker 2: people who maybe you know, and especially because having a baby,
Speaker 2: like I said, is such a privilege, and not everybody
Speaker 2: is able to have a baby in the same way
Speaker 2: that I can. You know, I can have sex with
Speaker 2: a man and I can get pregnant and I can
Speaker 2: have a baby. For those people who struggle, or for
Speaker 2: those people who have been through pregnancy loss or who
Speaker 2: have been through child loss, there's this feeling of like,
Speaker 2: how dare you be ungrateful for what you get because
Speaker 2: you have received a baby, you know, and that's what
Speaker 2: some people would want, no matter what it is.
Speaker 1: That's the thing. This isn't a feeling but being ungrateful. No.
Speaker 1: And the thing is is like those two those two
Speaker 1: feelings don't have to live that they're separate to each other,
Speaker 1: do you know what I mean? Like, just because one
Speaker 1: person feels slightly disappointed or slightly like like they're trying
Speaker 1: to rationalize their identity now that they are no longer
Speaker 1: going to be the mum to a boy or the
Speaker 1: mum to a girl, doesn't lessen anybody else's pain or suffering,
Speaker 1: you know. Like that's the thing. We need to realize
Speaker 1: that those two things are very very separate.
Speaker 2: Look, I just do think I find the topic really interesting,
Speaker 2: and it's not a topic I've heard a lot about.
Speaker 2: So I would like to do some research more into
Speaker 2: the idea of gender disappointment. Maybe we can get my
Speaker 2: friend on that has been throwed if she's happy to
Speaker 2: Maybe we can get someone else that's really experienced it
Speaker 2: and is happy to talk about it, because it is
Speaker 2: something that's happening, and it is something that should be
Speaker 2: spoken about so that other women that experience it don't
Speaker 2: feel guilty and don't feel like they're doing something wrong.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I think that that's the big thing, right,
Speaker 1: Like you already feel guilty about fricking everything when you've
Speaker 1: just had a baby, Like you feel guilty, you know,
Speaker 1: are you have it? Do you have enough milk? Do
Speaker 1: you breastfeed? Don't you breastfeed? Is are they sleeping enough?
Speaker 1: And then when they're screaming and you feel angry because
Speaker 1: they're screaming all night and you haven't had any sleep,
Speaker 1: and then you're angry at them, you feel guilty that
Speaker 1: you're angry at them. So I think it's just another
Speaker 1: thing in a long list of feeling guilty that you
Speaker 1: you know, by having conversations about it, we can overcome
Speaker 1: that normal absolutely, and like you know in saying that,
Speaker 1: there's been nights where Lola has screamed non stop and
Speaker 1: I have felt angry. I don't feel loving, I don't
Speaker 1: feel calm. I just feel like I need to leave
Speaker 1: you here to cry because you're screaming, just get it
Speaker 1: gets to somewhere in your soul, like in your inner chest,
Speaker 1: where you're like, oh, like I cannot stop this. And
Speaker 1: it's understandable why women feel like they lose their sense
Speaker 1: of self and they lose control. And it's not that
Speaker 1: you lose control and you do anything or behave badly,
Speaker 1: but you just feel like, I'm supposed to love this
Speaker 1: baby all the time, endlessly, but there are times where
Speaker 1: you actually feel so soul destroyed and so frustrated that
Speaker 1: you can't make the situation better. And I think the
Speaker 1: more that we talk about that and how normal that is,
Speaker 1: and that it's okay sometimes to walk out of the
Speaker 1: room and let your baby cry for a couple of
Speaker 1: minutes while you calm down, I think that we've covered
Speaker 1: a lot in this episode, and there will be so
Speaker 1: many more episodes that we are going to be talking
Speaker 1: about things like this, because it's now huge part of
Speaker 1: well I guess our life, Like obviously I don't read
Speaker 1: by proxy. Yeah, I am by DeVault. No, but there's
Speaker 1: there are so many and it's so interesting when you
Speaker 1: start talking about there are so many little like subtopics
Speaker 1: that we can talk about, and we will definitely talk
Speaker 1: about because Laura and myself, but we're both passionate about
Speaker 1: normalizing things that aren't really deemed as normal, aren't spoken
Speaker 1: about enough, or are sort of like pushed under the car.
Speaker 1: But we've always been big advocates on this podcast and
Speaker 1: being able to bring these things to light. So we
Speaker 1: will continue to do that. So don't worry if we
Speaker 1: haven't answered something in this episode today. Yeah, and you
Speaker 1: know what, Like I mean, there's gonna be parts of
Speaker 1: this that aren't relative to people who don't have children
Speaker 1: or who don't want to have children. But like we say,
Speaker 1: with everything, in particular the miscarriage conversation, it's always nice
Speaker 1: to understand other people's experiences so that you know how
Speaker 1: to relate to someone who is struggling with something and
Speaker 1: know like the best way to not make the situation worse,
Speaker 1: you know what I mean, Like to be able to
Speaker 1: be empathetic and to understand where someone's coming from without
Speaker 1: saying something or behaving in a way that's dismissive of
Speaker 1: somebody else's feelings. So I think that there's always something
Speaker 1: to learn in listening to other people's stories. Hey, gay guys,
Speaker 1: it is time for the last segment. And we love
Speaker 1: doing this.
Speaker 2: It's our suck and sweet, our highlight and our low
Speaker 2: light of the week. Sometimes it's amazing, sometimes it's ridiculous.
Speaker 2: Sometimes we feel very entitled, but either way, it's just
Speaker 2: a way to talk about, you know, how your week'spen,
Speaker 2: what the best thing's been, So Laura, you can kick
Speaker 2: it off. My suck for the week is Matt has
Speaker 2: been working heaps, like so much, and he and he
Speaker 2: got a big job just after I had Lola, So
Speaker 2: about a week after I had Lola, Matt got contracted
Speaker 2: for some work and he's been super busy, and it's
Speaker 2: just meant that I've had a lot of time, which
Speaker 2: normally I would have a lot more support from him
Speaker 2: because obviously I work a lot as well, And so
Speaker 2: it's been a really hard juggle this past week with
Speaker 2: the two kids and with little sleep, trying to do
Speaker 2: emails and like I said earlier in the episode, trying
Speaker 2: to do everything and feeling like you're not doing anything. Well,
Speaker 2: that's been something I really struggled with this week in general.
Speaker 1: But my highlight for the week, which in one aspect,
Speaker 1: I'm like, damn you, Lola because it wasn't to me.
Speaker 1: But Lola smiled for the first time that wasn't a
Speaker 1: gas smile. So four weeks old is when they kind
Speaker 1: of start smiling as a reaction to something, and she
Speaker 1: fully smiled at Matt Woe. So Matt was making some
Speaker 1: cute faces at her, and she smiled, and I was like,
Speaker 1: damn you. I spend every day with you all day. Yeah, exactly,
Speaker 1: Breeze smile at me. You know, her first word is
Speaker 1: going to be daddy, saddy. Yeah, I hate you, mom.
Speaker 1: I can't wait for having two thirteen year old daughters
Speaker 1: who hate me. No, they won't. They love me though
Speaker 1: they will. I'll be the favorite. Have fun Annie, Okay, Britt,
Speaker 1: what's your suck? And suite my suck? Probably this is.
Speaker 2: Actually ridiculous, but I'm quite a competitive person in like
Speaker 2: sports and games and things like that, and the worst
Speaker 2: person for me to probably date is a professional athlete.
Speaker 2: There's also very competitive. So we played board game last night,
Speaker 2: and you would not think that you could get competitive
Speaker 2: in a board game, but we were like at each other.
Speaker 1: We're on opposite teams.
Speaker 2: He was on the boys team, I was on the
Speaker 2: girls team, and it was horrific, Like we almost divorced
Speaker 2: over it. But I think there's gonna be a lot
Speaker 2: of things. It's not the first time we've played mini
Speaker 2: golf before, and we've gotten into a brawl playing tennis, Like,
Speaker 2: I mean, I'm in a competitive I'm in a brawl
Speaker 2: with him when we play tennis, Like, how can I
Speaker 2: get competitive with someone that's a professional tennis player. I
Speaker 2: just think that there's gonna be a lot of these
Speaker 2: moments in the future where the two of us, who
Speaker 2: are highly competitive are going to have blowouts because we
Speaker 2: both want to play sport all the time. I've got
Speaker 2: to accept that he's a professional athlete. He's probably going
Speaker 2: to be better.
Speaker 1: I reckon, he's probably gonna beat you. But also, this
Speaker 1: is not really a suck, Like it's not that bad. No,
Speaker 1: But that's my point, Like that was the worst thing
Speaker 1: that happened to me. Life is pretty rosy now in
Speaker 1: Britney's corner. Sweet, she's in love. I haven't sun for
Speaker 1: so long. Guys, my sweet, I have two? Is that
Speaker 1: all right? Oh? Sure, go on, bak the rules? Am
Speaker 1: I too?
Speaker 2: I think that this is like, I'm so chuffed with
Speaker 2: both of these. Since I've died my hand blonde, which
Speaker 2: you guys, I've gone blonde, it's still on me, not
Speaker 2: gonna have it forever. It was just a phase since
Speaker 2: I've had my hair blonde. Every day I get someone
Speaker 2: message to me saying, I'm my god, you look like
Speaker 2: Jennifer Hawkins. I thought you're Jennifer Hawkins.
Speaker 1: I like that. We laughed so aggressively at that, because
Speaker 1: if you actually know me in real life, there is
Speaker 1: nothing about me that resembles Jennifer Hawkins.
Speaker 2: I get that maybe sometimes I photograph on the right
Speaker 2: angle and I might look one percent like her, but
Speaker 2: it's really You've all made my whole life.
Speaker 1: Man. You're like hot as the sun. She's hot as
Speaker 1: the sun.
Speaker 2: Like we're comparison. But I'm frothing that, so thank you.
Speaker 2: My second suite was that I have had a conversation.
Speaker 1: With Rebel Wilson this week, but like whatever, so Britt
Speaker 1: asked at Rebel Wilson. She asked her if she'd be
Speaker 1: on the podcast, and she wrote back and politely declined.
Speaker 1: But that's still Brittany touching base with an actual, real
Speaker 1: life celebrity.
Speaker 2: I shot my I shot my shot this week, and
Speaker 2: I was like, you know, I'm just going to message
Speaker 2: Rebel because I we all know I love her and
Speaker 2: like as someone that would love to be an actor
Speaker 2: in comedy and looking at Rebel Wilson, I just love it.
Speaker 2: So I was like, gonna shoot my shot message around.
Speaker 1: I was like, okay, babe, how are you. We'd love
Speaker 1: to have you on the podcast. Blah blah blah.
Speaker 2: Didn't even expect her response. In two minutes, she wrote
Speaker 2: straight back to me. She was like, hey, love, thanks
Speaker 2: for kind words, congrats that your podcast is so amazing.
Speaker 2: I'm actually overseas film in a movie at the moment,
Speaker 2: so like I can't, but definitely we'll be in contact
Speaker 2: when you know the time comes, basically, which I'm not
Speaker 2: ever expecting her to come back and be in conduct.
Speaker 1: But I was like, yeah, no worries, babe, played are
Speaker 1: so cool. I was like, anyway, I was just so
Speaker 1: stoked with that and that's it. That's my sweets for
Speaker 1: the week. Well, on that note, guys, that has been
Speaker 1: a bloody long episode. It is so good to be back.
Speaker 1: We have missed you. We have also kind of dropped
Speaker 1: the ball a little bit on Instagram and on Facebook
Speaker 1: over the last couple of weeks. We really did take
Speaker 1: a break. But now that we're back, we are holding
Speaker 1: the reins to everything and we were back on board.
Speaker 2: Don't forget to keep your accidently on filters coming in guys.
Speaker 2: I love that and we got some really really good
Speaker 2: ones this week, so just make sure you're sliding too.
Speaker 1: The DM guys. You can send it to our Instagram
Speaker 1: which is at Life Uncut Podcast. You can send it
Speaker 1: to our Facebook group which is also at Life Uncut
Speaker 1: Podcast group. If you're not in the Facebook group, sign
Speaker 1: up where you at. It's good fun and it's also
Speaker 1: a great place for you to ask your questions and
Speaker 1: get a wealth of answers from other people who are
Speaker 1: lack minded and they're just incredibly supportive.
Speaker 2: It's a really great group and they're having amazing meetups
Speaker 2: at the moment, like huge meetups where all these people
Speaker 2: that have never met each other are starting to become
Speaker 2: friends because they're bonding over a shared experience. So if
Speaker 2: you do, if you're in a city now and you
Speaker 2: want to make new friends and you don't know how
Speaker 2: to make new friends, this could actually be a really,
Speaker 2: really great way. So there are groups on the discussion group.
Speaker 2: They're like separate subgroups where they have meetup groups for
Speaker 2: their city. So absolutely cannot recommend that enough. And to
Speaker 2: you guys that are meeting up and the big Sydney
Speaker 2: group that met up, oh my god, you guys are amazing.
Speaker 1: We absolutely love to see that, so thank you and
Speaker 1: make sure that you invite us next time, because I'm
Speaker 1: kind of gip that we didn't get an invite to
Speaker 1: our own meetup group. But anyway, guys, you know the drill.
Speaker 1: Tell your mum, tell your dad, tell your dog, tell
Speaker 1: you Nan, tell everybody and share the love because we
Speaker 1: love love vac the bobany Apac Happen. Madame Day