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Speaker 1: Hello, this stopped justin Coilson. I'm here with Kylie, my

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Speaker 1: wife from Mum to our six kids. Kylie, have you

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Speaker 1: noticed we've been talking about Christmas for the last week

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Speaker 1: or so on the podcast. Sometimes we're really excited about it,

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Speaker 1: there's so much to look forward to, and other times

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Speaker 1: we're like.

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Speaker 2: Oh, so hard. I don't want to do Christmas this year.

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Speaker 3: I have felt it for the last few years, but

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Speaker 3: I'm hearing more and more people say to me, I

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Speaker 3: just don't want to do Christmas this year. There's a

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Speaker 3: shift in how we want to do Christmas.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, nice. I like the way you've said that.

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Speaker 1: So today we're talking about gifts, budgets, how much cash

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Speaker 1: to spend, how to get it all right. We're not

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Speaker 1: financial advisors, by the way, so you can take it

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Speaker 1: or leave it, And we don't want to do as

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Speaker 1: sort of a boring his hell to budget kind of conversation.

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Speaker 1: But we've asked our listeners, we've brainstormed together, we've talked

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Speaker 1: to families and come up with six things that can

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Speaker 1: help you to do Christmas on a budget.

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Speaker 3: One of the things that was a game changer for us,

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Speaker 3: and you may have heard us talk about this before

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Speaker 3: is we go by the four gifts of Christmas.

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Speaker 2: I always get around the wrong order you do it,

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Speaker 2: and I'll well.

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Speaker 3: You buy them something they want, something they need, something

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Speaker 3: to wear, and something to read. That literally, with six kids,

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Speaker 3: having a little box that I can put gifts into

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Speaker 3: in those four areas revolutionize Christmas for me.

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Speaker 2: Yeah.

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Speaker 1: The only trouble is sometimes when you're on a real

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Speaker 1: tide budget buying something they want, something they need, something

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Speaker 1: to wear, and something to read.

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Speaker 2: That can be expensive. That can really add up fast.

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Speaker 3: But yes it can. But depending on your budget, it

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Speaker 3: might be new undies and socks. You only get new

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Speaker 3: undies and socks at Christmas time, that's what you wear.

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Speaker 4: Well.

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Speaker 1: In fact, we were listening to Jess a little bit

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Speaker 1: earlier when we're having chat with her, and she said

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Speaker 1: that's exactly what she does with her Santa sax.

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Speaker 4: But we do try to fill the Santa Sacks with

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Speaker 4: things the kids need anyway for the year ahead, So

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Speaker 4: a new lunch box and new shoes, undies, chocolates, things

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Speaker 4: we probably would have bought them anyway, and then to

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Speaker 4: save them up and put them into the Santa sack.

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Speaker 3: So in Jess's situation. It's a new lunch box and

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Speaker 3: a drink bot.

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Speaker 2: We do the same thing the Sata Sax. There's some

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Speaker 2: fun stuff in there.

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Speaker 1: There's the ginger beer and the mango that we've already

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Speaker 1: talked about, but we actually go by the same thing,

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Speaker 1: and it really it bulks out the Christmas gift giving.

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Speaker 1: The kids are like, yeah, cool, I needed socks and

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Speaker 1: nundies anyway, or a lunch box. But it helps you

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Speaker 1: to say, all right, that's taken care of and now

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Speaker 1: we don't have to worry about it in January or

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Speaker 1: February when they go back to school.

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Speaker 2: We've already bought it for Christmas.

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Speaker 3: Well, the kids get all their tailet trees and there

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Speaker 3: yes in their Sanda Sax that I would buy them normally,

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Speaker 3: but I just store it up so it becomes a gift.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, yeah, perfect. So that's one idea, one of our

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Speaker 1: six ideas. The next idea I reckon it's just important

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Speaker 1: to stick to a budget. So work out how much

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Speaker 1: money you've got and don't say, well the credit card

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Speaker 1: max is out at five grand or ten grand or

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Speaker 1: whatever it is, because that's a bad way to start

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Speaker 1: the new year.

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Speaker 2: New Year's Resolution then has to be.

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Speaker 1: Pay off the credit card, and that's not fun work

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Speaker 1: out how much cash you've got.

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Speaker 3: I think it works in any situation, whether it be

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Speaker 3: the groceries or your shopping list for Christmas or whatever.

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Speaker 3: If you've got a list and you have a budget,

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Speaker 3: then you're more likely to stick to that, Whereas when

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Speaker 3: I would take you shopping, even though I knew what

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Speaker 3: the budget was and I had my shopping list, you'd

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Speaker 3: be like, Oh, we just need these chocolate chip cookies,

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Speaker 3: and we just need these as creams, and we just

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Speaker 3: need this, and all of a sudden, my budget would

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Speaker 3: blow out by fifty or seventy dollars.

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Speaker 2: I'm really bad at this, just because you.

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Speaker 3: Came along and you didn't know how to stick to

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Speaker 3: what I was trying to achieve.

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Speaker 1: I have an inhibition problem. I have a self regulation problem,

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Speaker 1: Like this is that a bag you out?

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Speaker 3: But it's just an acknowledgement. When we don't have a

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Speaker 3: budget or we don't have a list that we stick to.

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Speaker 3: What happens is we get caught up in the moment.

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Speaker 1: And that happens anyway, So you know, not just with

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Speaker 1: the groceries, but every year we go through.

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Speaker 2: Something they want something, they need, something to wear and

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Speaker 2: something to read.

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Speaker 1: You do that careful, selective gift buying, keeping it to

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Speaker 1: our budget, and then I look at the gifts. I'm like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you've done all this great gift buying, Colylie, and I

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Speaker 1: haven't done anything. And then I go down to the

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Speaker 1: shops pull out the credit ye and then.

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Speaker 3: I go, hang on a sec. Now, Abby and our

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Speaker 3: I have got like major gifts, and you've left out

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Speaker 3: these two kids over here.

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Speaker 1: And I reckon, I've done it half a dozen times

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Speaker 1: over the last decade, and it always costs us and

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Speaker 1: we don't need it because you've done such thoughtful gift giving,

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Speaker 1: and I go and blow it all the time.

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Speaker 2: My impulsiveness is you know that the other.

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Speaker 3: Day we talked about how being on the same page

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Speaker 3: is really helpful and you know, sharing that cognitive load.

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Speaker 1: Maybe if you and I sat down and talked, I know,

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Speaker 1: I know, I know I've got to do.

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Speaker 3: Better, then you could go and buy some gifts because

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Speaker 3: off my list, I love to buy things and do

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Speaker 3: the giving myself, and I feel like, because you do

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Speaker 3: all of this on your own, I feel like I'm

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Speaker 3: not part of it.

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Speaker 2: And therefore I haven't given it to them. You have.

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Speaker 2: It's always a surprised to me when I see what

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Speaker 2: the kids get. Let's just be.

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Speaker 3: Clear, everybody, Let's just be clear. I beg for your involvement.

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Speaker 3: I know, and I have asked, and what's your what's

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Speaker 3: your normal response to me?

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Speaker 2: I've just got to finish this email.

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Speaker 3: I don't have the headspace.

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Speaker 2: Don't have the head space.

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Speaker 3: Just take care of it.

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Speaker 2: Do you have any idea? How much work I've got?

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Speaker 3: What? Whatever you want, honey, just you do it. I'll

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Speaker 3: be really grateful, all right.

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Speaker 2: So that's the second ideas.

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Speaker 1: First idea is by essentials and use them in the

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Speaker 1: Sanda sack or find other ways to give them as

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Speaker 1: part of something to wear, something they need, something they want,

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Speaker 1: something to read. I got around the wrong way, didn't I.

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Speaker 1: And the second thing is actually stick to a budget.

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Speaker 1: Work out what your budget's going to be and stick

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Speaker 1: to it. Now, this leads into.

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Speaker 2: Its sort of dovetails with our third.

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Speaker 3: Idea, determining who you're going to give to.

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Speaker 1: Right, so, you want to give to everybody, but if

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Speaker 1: you've only got a budget, let's say a thousand dollars

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Speaker 1: for argument's sake, you just can't give to everybody.

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Speaker 3: Well you can, but giving looks different in different situations.

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Speaker 2: I like the way you said that. That's great.

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Speaker 3: So if you want to stick to your budget, then

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Speaker 3: you need to look at who are the most important

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Speaker 3: people in this scenario that you want to give to.

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Speaker 3: Hu As a parent, I'm going to suggest it's going

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Speaker 3: to be your children that you want to give to.

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Speaker 2: I can't believe you didn't see me.

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Speaker 3: Oh, you're hilarious, mister. I'll just go and buy what

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Speaker 3: I want when I need.

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Speaker 2: Stop it. Don't be like that. I get in trouble

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Speaker 2: for that all the time.

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Speaker 3: Okay, But then you've got extended family members.

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Speaker 1: Just on extended family, so there are twenty grandkids on

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Speaker 1: my parents' side.

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Speaker 3: So that's twenty nephews and nieces, well it's four of them,

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Speaker 3: six of them of ours.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, and then on your parents' side it's fifteen, which

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Speaker 1: takes down to nine. So we would be buying for

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Speaker 1: twenty three nieces and nephews as well as two sets

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Speaker 1: of parents, as well as you and I as well

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Speaker 1: as our six kids. We're literally up to forty or

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Speaker 1: fifty gifts or forty or fifty people that are buying

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Speaker 1: for like that is, it's astronomical, So when you're making the.

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Speaker 2: List, you kind of need to work out.

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Speaker 1: Well, in our family, our extended families, we do like

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Speaker 1: a what do you call it, a Chris Kringle Secret

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Speaker 1: Santa szod Santa, So the kids buy for one another.

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Speaker 3: Well, in the beginning, it was the adults brought for adults.

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Speaker 3: But as we've gained more children in the family, what

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Speaker 3: we determined was that we wanted the kids to be

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Speaker 3: a part of the giving.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, and the adults were all too hard to buy

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Speaker 2: for anyway.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, we all decided when we want something, we get

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Speaker 3: what we want anyway, So let's let the kids be

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Speaker 3: a part of the giving process. And that's been fantastic.

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Speaker 3: But another couple of things that I've seen other people

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Speaker 3: do is Aunties have just brought every child a T shirt.

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Speaker 3: They get a brand new T shirt from Auntie Sarah

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Speaker 3: or a brand new book.

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Speaker 2: Rachel, one of our listeners, said, this is what she does.

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Speaker 3: We also have a good understanding with extended family that

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Speaker 3: we don't buy them presents and they don't buy for us.

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Speaker 3: Jess had a really good idea as well. When we're

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Speaker 3: trying to stick to a budget.

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Speaker 4: We've organized a system where all the siblings get together

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Speaker 4: and buy a combined present for the other siblings, which

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Speaker 4: means we can all contribute a little bit less money,

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Speaker 4: but it's still collectively a large amount of money and

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Speaker 4: we can buy a decent present.

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Speaker 1: So let's just do a quick recap on that. We've

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Speaker 1: got Chris Tringle and Secret Santa. Not everybody has to

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Speaker 1: buy something for everybody. It can just be one person

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Speaker 1: buying for one other person. That way, everyone gets a

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Speaker 1: gift from the nieces, nephew's, cousins, whoever it is.

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Speaker 2: There's the idea of combining.

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Speaker 1: Funds, which we've done many times for especially for the parents,

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Speaker 1: right for your parents or my parents or whoever. It's

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Speaker 1: really hard, so you can buy them with your siblings

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Speaker 1: and you can buy something really substantial, something that's really

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Speaker 1: really diightful, and still keep it within budget.

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Speaker 2: The third thing that we need to talk about is

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Speaker 2: just making the list of gifts.

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Speaker 3: Let's talk about that after the break. It's the Happy

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Speaker 3: Families podcast, the podcast for the time poor parent who

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Speaker 3: just wants answers now, and today we're talking about gifts, budgeting,

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Speaker 3: No gifts. That's what we're talking about, all right. So

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Speaker 3: we've got so much more exciting than budgets.

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Speaker 1: We've covered off the power of making sure that we

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Speaker 1: know who we're buying for, know how much we've got

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Speaker 1: to spend, and we're giving essentials where we can and

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Speaker 1: turning them into really fun gifts like stuff in the

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Speaker 1: Santa Sack. But Kylie, you want to talk about how

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Speaker 1: you get the list of gifts right, especially when you're

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Speaker 1: on a budget.

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Speaker 3: Rachel actually had a really good idea. We use Marketplace

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Speaker 3: or gum Tree to buy secondhand if needed. Our kids

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Speaker 3: know and they don't mind. So how do you feel

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Speaker 3: about secondhand gifts?

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Speaker 2: I think it.

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Speaker 1: I mean, if it's for me, I'm going to be

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Speaker 1: upset about it, But if for someone else, probably you're

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Speaker 1: so bad.

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Speaker 2: I think it just depends on what it is.

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Speaker 1: Like let's say you want to buy a bike and

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Speaker 1: somebody wants a really nice bike, then chances are that's

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Speaker 1: going to beyond most people's budgets.

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Speaker 2: And I'd say, if you can get yourself a really.

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Speaker 1: Nice secondhand bike, it's probably going to be fantastic, and

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Speaker 1: you'll get it for less than half price, Like you'll

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Speaker 1: save an absolute bundle. We've got a daughter who wants

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Speaker 1: Pokemon cards, and you can buy box sets of poker.

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Speaker 1: You can get the whole lot secondhand, really really well

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Speaker 1: priced on Facebook Marketplace.

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Speaker 3: So thousand cards for one hundred and fifty.

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Speaker 2: Dollars, not that you want to give away too much.

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Speaker 3: I think I want a thousand cards.

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Speaker 1: No, I don't want a thousand Pokemon cards in our

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Speaker 1: house either, but we've got a daughter who wants them.

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Speaker 1: So I reckon that that could be an idea. It

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Speaker 1: could be an option for some people in some circumstance.

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Speaker 1: Probably not always.

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Speaker 3: I actually probably would have really struggled with secondhand until

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Speaker 3: a few years ago. One of my friends, she's really

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Speaker 3: really conscious about the environment, and she loves buying secondhand,

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Speaker 3: and so I wanted to give her a gift. And

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Speaker 3: I thought, it's going to feel a little bit like

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Speaker 3: a slap in the face if I go and buy

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Speaker 3: her something brand new, because it's not what she usually does.

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Speaker 3: And I knew that her family wanted a so to stream,

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Speaker 3: and so I got on Marketplace and somebody literally had

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Speaker 3: brought a brand new soda stream maker and realized that

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Speaker 3: they actually just didn't like it. So I decided I'd

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Speaker 3: get it. That it didn't come in a box, but

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Speaker 3: I got to wrap it up in a pretty parcel

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Speaker 3: for her and gift it to her family. And she

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Speaker 3: loved the fact that I had gone to the effort

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Speaker 3: of going secondhand.

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Speaker 1: I love how it's harder to get stuff secondhand, and

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Speaker 1: yet it made a bigger impact. She was grateful that.

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Speaker 1: So I guess it comes down to value systems and

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Speaker 1: what people's expectations are. But secondhand's an option in terms

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Speaker 1: of making that list of gifts. You could also go handmade,

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Speaker 1: especially if you're on a budget. We've talked about that

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Speaker 1: in previous podcasts. But taking the time to make something

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Speaker 1: when you haven't got the cash to spend.

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Speaker 2: Can be really, really meaningful. And something else that I

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Speaker 2: want to talk about.

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Speaker 1: Science tells us that giving experiences is much better than

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Speaker 1: giving gifts as a general rule, when you get to

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Speaker 1: share the experience with somebody because you create those memories together.

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Speaker 2: But if you can't give an experience.

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Speaker 1: Or you're not quite sure what to give, especially if

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Speaker 1: you don't know them well, some researchers have discovered that

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Speaker 1: giving a voucher is incredibly effective. People love it when

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Speaker 1: they get a voucher, because then they can go and

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Speaker 1: spend the money on something that they really value and they.

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Speaker 2: Still know that you've thought of them.

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Speaker 1: Plus, if you give vouchers, you get to allow them

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Speaker 1: to take advantage of the Boxing day sales and that

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Speaker 1: kind of thing. So when you're making that list of gifts,

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Speaker 1: don't discount the power of a voucher, especially for somebody

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Speaker 1: that you might not be really well acquainted with or

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Speaker 1: just not sure what to get them.

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Speaker 3: Well, Lisa had a really good point. When it comes

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Speaker 3: to gift giving.

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Speaker 5: We try and buy one good gift that we know

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Speaker 5: that they're going to use, enjoy, and will create an

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Speaker 5: experience for our family.

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Speaker 3: Ever since our kids were young, that has been our motto,

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Speaker 3: one hundred percent. I would rather our children get one

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Speaker 3: beautiful gift that's great quality. Might have cost us a

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Speaker 3: little bit more, but knowing that I could pass that one.

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Speaker 2: Down, right, Yeah exactly, there were more than one.

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Speaker 3: Kid who's going to enjoy this.

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Speaker 1: We'll get multiple childhoods out of that one gift rather

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Speaker 1: than getting something that's going to be ruined by.

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Speaker 2: New Year's Day.

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Speaker 3: Yeah, totally.

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Speaker 1: So I'm with Lisa on that one quality versus quantity.

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Speaker 1: When it comes to Christmas on a budget, sometimes worth

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Speaker 1: spending a touch more even if you end up with

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Speaker 1: a little less because of the longevity of it, and.

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Speaker 3: Our last idea, utilizing sales and laybys can really help

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Speaker 3: when you're trying to manage your budget at Christmas time.

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Speaker 1: Well, we really hope that these ideas are helpful for

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Speaker 1: you if you're doing Christmas on a budget like most

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Speaker 1: of us. The Happy Families podcast is produced by Justin

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Speaker 1: Rowland from Bridge Media, and if you would like more

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Speaker 1: info about making your family happier, check it all out

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Speaker 1: at happy families dot com dot i