WEBVTT - MINI: Ask Uncut.... to ghost or to slow fade a friendship? 👩‍❤️‍👩

0:00:00.120 --> 0:00:06.559
<v Speaker 1>Let's do this Aska, all right? So Asking Cut is

0:00:06.559 --> 0:00:08.560
<v Speaker 1>something that we do every week on My Phone Cut

0:00:08.560 --> 0:00:11.000
<v Speaker 1>our podcast, and it's where you guys call up with

0:00:11.080 --> 0:00:13.159
<v Speaker 1>your biggest, deep as darkest problems and we do our

0:00:13.160 --> 0:00:16.720
<v Speaker 1>absolute best to answer them. And on today's show, we

0:00:16.800 --> 0:00:20.120
<v Speaker 1>have Billy and Billy has a real friendship conundrum. How

0:00:20.160 --> 0:00:22.160
<v Speaker 1>do you break up with a friend? Hi?

0:00:22.280 --> 0:00:26.400
<v Speaker 2>Billy? Hi? Bill? What's going on? Hi? There's a lot,

0:00:26.560 --> 0:00:28.960
<v Speaker 2>but I can narrow it down a little bit. So

0:00:29.120 --> 0:00:32.760
<v Speaker 2>I have a friend that I met about seven months ago,

0:00:32.920 --> 0:00:35.440
<v Speaker 2>but over the past few months, we've been spending kind

0:00:35.440 --> 0:00:37.680
<v Speaker 2>of a lot more time, like one on one outside

0:00:37.760 --> 0:00:42.040
<v Speaker 2>of the little friend group we have, and over I

0:00:42.400 --> 0:00:44.880
<v Speaker 2>guess the past like two three weeks, it's just dawned

0:00:44.880 --> 0:00:46.879
<v Speaker 2>on me that every time after we hang out, I'm

0:00:46.920 --> 0:00:52.280
<v Speaker 2>absolutely drink and exhausted and just like, this doesn't feel

0:00:52.320 --> 0:00:54.200
<v Speaker 2>good anymore the more I'm getting to know.

0:00:54.120 --> 0:00:56.880
<v Speaker 3>Her, Billy, are you really American? Or is this a

0:00:56.960 --> 0:00:58.880
<v Speaker 3>cover so she doesn't he know who you are?

0:00:58.920 --> 0:00:59.200
<v Speaker 1>Oh?

0:00:59.360 --> 0:01:01.520
<v Speaker 2>Oh yeah, no, Oh I'm pure Texan.

0:01:02.040 --> 0:01:03.840
<v Speaker 3>Okay, great, just wanted to confirms I've.

0:01:03.760 --> 0:01:07.160
<v Speaker 2>Roped out in here more context and that would be funny.

0:01:07.160 --> 0:01:10.480
<v Speaker 2>Hold on let me put on my other accent. Well,

0:01:10.520 --> 0:01:11.560
<v Speaker 2>you sound like a fun friend.

0:01:11.600 --> 0:01:17.080
<v Speaker 1>So clearly she's the problem, because you wait, what is

0:01:17.080 --> 0:01:18.800
<v Speaker 1>the problem? Is the problem that you don't know hard

0:01:18.840 --> 0:01:20.520
<v Speaker 1>to distance yourself from her? You want to break up

0:01:20.560 --> 0:01:22.679
<v Speaker 1>with her properly, Like what is the what's the issue?

0:01:23.920 --> 0:01:25.680
<v Speaker 2>The real issue is? Like, if I want to end

0:01:25.680 --> 0:01:28.560
<v Speaker 2>the friendship, what do you guys think is the best

0:01:28.600 --> 0:01:30.399
<v Speaker 2>way to do that? Because I have friends telling me

0:01:30.480 --> 0:01:32.880
<v Speaker 2>we'll do the slow fade, you know, I'm like, oh,

0:01:32.959 --> 0:01:35.520
<v Speaker 2>that doesn't work. I'm going to do slow fade. I

0:01:35.600 --> 0:01:37.600
<v Speaker 2>go do I just directly say.

0:01:37.840 --> 0:01:39.720
<v Speaker 3>Nah, you do not sit it down and break up.

0:01:39.800 --> 0:01:40.920
<v Speaker 3>It's a slow fade.

0:01:41.120 --> 0:01:43.480
<v Speaker 1>I think you break up with a romantic relationship like

0:01:43.520 --> 0:01:44.720
<v Speaker 1>you have a one on one chat with her. You

0:01:44.760 --> 0:01:47.520
<v Speaker 1>an't slow fade or romantic relationship, but a friendship you

0:01:47.560 --> 0:01:49.720
<v Speaker 1>can slow fade. I think you can say I'm busy

0:01:49.720 --> 0:01:51.400
<v Speaker 1>this week, Oh there's a lot going on, get a

0:01:51.400 --> 0:01:55.360
<v Speaker 1>bit like less frequent with the cakes, replying it's not that.

0:01:55.280 --> 0:01:58.760
<v Speaker 3>Top it is than sitting them down and saying, hey, look,

0:01:58.880 --> 0:01:59.800
<v Speaker 3>this is ending.

0:02:00.080 --> 0:02:00.920
<v Speaker 1>That is wayward.

0:02:01.280 --> 0:02:03.760
<v Speaker 2>Yeah, because that does feel like a breakup, and I'm

0:02:03.800 --> 0:02:06.080
<v Speaker 2>afraid of kind of hurting her ego just based off

0:02:06.120 --> 0:02:07.560
<v Speaker 2>of like problematic behavior.

0:02:07.840 --> 0:02:10.519
<v Speaker 3>The problem also is is if you're in the same

0:02:10.639 --> 0:02:12.880
<v Speaker 3>group of friends and you're always going to be around

0:02:12.880 --> 0:02:15.280
<v Speaker 3>each other in a group, you can't have that really

0:02:15.320 --> 0:02:16.880
<v Speaker 3>weird conflict of you saying I don't want to be

0:02:16.880 --> 0:02:18.799
<v Speaker 3>friends anymore because you're always going to be around each other.

0:02:18.840 --> 0:02:21.120
<v Speaker 3>But you can slow fade the one on one time

0:02:21.440 --> 0:02:24.600
<v Speaker 3>at the end of the day. As adults, which I'm

0:02:24.600 --> 0:02:28.320
<v Speaker 3>assuming you are as adults, we are very time paul,

0:02:28.400 --> 0:02:30.200
<v Speaker 3>So you do need to be selective with like who

0:02:30.240 --> 0:02:32.480
<v Speaker 3>you are giving your time to. Time is such like

0:02:32.520 --> 0:02:36.440
<v Speaker 3>a precious commodity, and it's pretty easy to say, hey,

0:02:36.560 --> 0:02:38.280
<v Speaker 3>I am flat out at the moment, like I don't

0:02:38.280 --> 0:02:39.760
<v Speaker 3>have a lot of spare time, and then you just

0:02:40.120 --> 0:02:42.040
<v Speaker 3>they're going to read the room. I hope.

0:02:42.600 --> 0:02:45.000
<v Speaker 2>Okay, yeah, I think so. I think if I just

0:02:45.080 --> 0:02:48.320
<v Speaker 2>kind of slowly do it and try to be a

0:02:48.360 --> 0:02:51.000
<v Speaker 2>little meticulous, I think if it gets a point where

0:02:51.000 --> 0:02:53.440
<v Speaker 2>the boundaries keep getting cross, maybe that's when I should

0:02:53.480 --> 0:02:56.760
<v Speaker 2>sit down with her, But just a slow fade when

0:02:56.800 --> 0:02:57.360
<v Speaker 2>it works.

0:02:57.760 --> 0:02:59.799
<v Speaker 1>What's your fear of slow fade? Like, why do you

0:02:59.800 --> 0:03:00.960
<v Speaker 1>think she's not going to get it.

0:03:02.720 --> 0:03:05.359
<v Speaker 2>I think I just fear that it will take a

0:03:05.400 --> 0:03:07.760
<v Speaker 2>lot of my energy. What you need to do is

0:03:07.760 --> 0:03:09.400
<v Speaker 2>at least tell them, Billy, you need to at least

0:03:09.480 --> 0:03:11.079
<v Speaker 2>just say, hey, I think you're a bit much.

0:03:11.320 --> 0:03:13.040
<v Speaker 3>Not break up with them, but I think you need

0:03:13.080 --> 0:03:14.639
<v Speaker 3>to say, like, this is intense, this.

0:03:14.639 --> 0:03:15.160
<v Speaker 2>Is too much.

0:03:15.240 --> 0:03:17.560
<v Speaker 3>No, Midge, No, don't listen to me.

0:03:18.520 --> 0:03:20.480
<v Speaker 1>I have never had that conversation with a friend, and

0:03:20.520 --> 0:03:23.239
<v Speaker 1>I have slow faded a couple. You're not too much.

0:03:23.440 --> 0:03:24.760
<v Speaker 3>Where is the queen of slow fade?

0:03:24.800 --> 0:03:25.760
<v Speaker 1>I mean, I'm just sorry.

0:03:25.840 --> 0:03:28.119
<v Speaker 2>He brought up a great point. It was a great

0:03:28.120 --> 0:03:30.720
<v Speaker 2>point about the social group that we have because we

0:03:30.800 --> 0:03:33.120
<v Speaker 2>will be around each other a lot. And yeah, you know,

0:03:33.840 --> 0:03:36.120
<v Speaker 2>I feel like a solid like friend breakup could be

0:03:36.200 --> 0:03:37.200
<v Speaker 2>pretty muschy.

0:03:37.640 --> 0:03:41.080
<v Speaker 3>It would get for everyone. The whole group is like, Oh,

0:03:41.120 --> 0:03:42.880
<v Speaker 3>we want to have a birthday party, but we can't

0:03:43.000 --> 0:03:45.200
<v Speaker 3>invite Frank and Sally because they're fighting.

0:03:45.360 --> 0:03:48.400
<v Speaker 2>You know what I mean, great to break and we'll

0:03:48.400 --> 0:03:54.520
<v Speaker 2>give you. I'm all about it. Well, I hope that.

0:03:54.480 --> 0:03:56.720
<v Speaker 1>Helps you work with that and slow fade, I reckon.

0:03:56.720 --> 0:04:00.680
<v Speaker 2>I worries you can get into if you want to

0:04:00.800 --> 0:04:01.840
<v Speaker 2>ask us a question as well.

0:04:01.880 --> 0:04:03.560
<v Speaker 1>You know, It's a big thing though. Right, there's so

0:04:03.640 --> 0:04:05.440
<v Speaker 1>many tools out there for how to break up with

0:04:05.520 --> 0:04:07.680
<v Speaker 1>romantic relationships, but no one tells you how to, like,

0:04:07.800 --> 0:04:09.640
<v Speaker 1>how to, you know, put some distance between you and

0:04:09.680 --> 0:04:11.600
<v Speaker 1>a friend. It's very hard.

0:04:11.200 --> 0:04:14.240
<v Speaker 3>It's hey, coming up. We want to know what your

0:04:14.280 --> 0:04:17.920
<v Speaker 3>biggest secret is about your profession, something that the general

0:04:17.960 --> 0:04:20.400
<v Speaker 3>public wouldn't know or that'd be really shocked about. Because

0:04:20.400 --> 0:04:23.080
<v Speaker 3>there is a thread that has me hook line and

0:04:23.120 --> 0:04:25.960
<v Speaker 3>sink a. Someone is spilling the tea online like.

0:04:26.000 --> 0:04:27.640
<v Speaker 1>In radio, how we steal some of the prizes that

0:04:27.640 --> 0:04:28.160
<v Speaker 1>are left over?

0:04:28.480 --> 0:04:30.640
<v Speaker 3>We don't you do? It's amazing.

0:04:30.640 --> 0:04:32.960
<v Speaker 1>I don't think that that's an industry. Think, bitch, it's just.

0:04:32.880 --> 0:04:33.760
<v Speaker 2>A personal crime.

0:04:34.080 --> 0:04:36.080
<v Speaker 1>I'm going going to federal prison. That's after this