1 00:00:00,440 --> 00:00:07,560 Speaker 1: This is a podcast about failure with me. Lola Berry, author, nutritionist, 2 00:00:08,000 --> 00:00:11,600 Speaker 1: and yoga teacher, join me as we get to know 3 00:00:11,680 --> 00:00:16,160 Speaker 1: these guests and learn about how their failures have ultimately 4 00:00:16,239 --> 00:00:21,040 Speaker 1: shaped their dreams. Welcome to Fearlessly Failing. 5 00:00:21,000 --> 00:00:38,720 Speaker 2: With Lola Berry. Hello, it's Lolls here. 6 00:00:39,280 --> 00:00:42,080 Speaker 1: This episode will be coming out Monday morning, but we're 7 00:00:42,080 --> 00:00:45,800 Speaker 1: recording the intro Friday AVO and it's just after five. 8 00:00:46,000 --> 00:00:48,519 Speaker 1: The sun is about to set. Foss and I are 9 00:00:48,560 --> 00:00:51,519 Speaker 1: going to head down to the ocean and dip our 10 00:00:51,600 --> 00:00:55,320 Speaker 1: Tortsi's in the water, so beautiful Talkie is where we 11 00:00:55,360 --> 00:00:57,280 Speaker 1: are living. We're feeling very, very lucky. 12 00:00:57,480 --> 00:00:59,880 Speaker 2: This week's felt a little bit clunky energetically. 13 00:01:00,160 --> 00:01:03,000 Speaker 1: I don't know if it's lockdown fatigue. I know the 14 00:01:03,040 --> 00:01:06,360 Speaker 1: people in Malves have got it a lot tougher than 15 00:01:06,480 --> 00:01:08,920 Speaker 1: we do here. We're in stage three, but yeah, it's 16 00:01:08,959 --> 00:01:12,919 Speaker 1: just probably felt a little bit clunky energetically this week. 17 00:01:13,720 --> 00:01:16,440 Speaker 1: Do you feel me? Hopefully I'm not alone in that one. 18 00:01:17,080 --> 00:01:20,080 Speaker 1: On a more positive note, today's guest is awesome. His 19 00:01:20,160 --> 00:01:23,880 Speaker 1: name is Purvis Taylor. He is an award winning celebrity 20 00:01:23,880 --> 00:01:27,039 Speaker 1: life coach. He's an author, he's a speaker, this guy 21 00:01:27,080 --> 00:01:29,920 Speaker 1: talks about the soul needing a tune up. He's based 22 00:01:29,959 --> 00:01:31,760 Speaker 1: in Brooklyn, New York, and so we check in with 23 00:01:31,800 --> 00:01:35,160 Speaker 1: how New York is going right now as well. He's 24 00:01:35,200 --> 00:01:38,000 Speaker 1: really cool, Like we'll talk about trusting the spirit and 25 00:01:38,040 --> 00:01:41,840 Speaker 1: trusting the gut. We talk about willpower, we talk about determination. 26 00:01:42,360 --> 00:01:45,440 Speaker 1: He's vulnerable, he's honest, he's open. 27 00:01:45,560 --> 00:01:46,839 Speaker 2: And he's really inspiring. 28 00:01:47,040 --> 00:01:50,560 Speaker 1: I ended this convo going ah, felt very uplifted and 29 00:01:50,640 --> 00:01:52,720 Speaker 1: empowered for the day, and I really hope it does 30 00:01:52,800 --> 00:01:59,800 Speaker 1: the same for you, Big love, stay safe, Hello. 31 00:01:59,760 --> 00:02:02,400 Speaker 2: And welcome to the podcast Purpose Taylor. 32 00:02:02,480 --> 00:02:04,800 Speaker 1: I have been so excited to have you on this 33 00:02:04,880 --> 00:02:08,400 Speaker 1: pod because you are a dream to research. 34 00:02:08,560 --> 00:02:14,840 Speaker 2: There's so much information on you. I actually do my 35 00:02:15,000 --> 00:02:16,600 Speaker 2: introduction in studios. 36 00:02:16,639 --> 00:02:19,799 Speaker 1: So but just for a little quick little like mini 37 00:02:19,840 --> 00:02:23,280 Speaker 1: one for now award winning and celebrity. 38 00:02:22,840 --> 00:02:28,240 Speaker 2: Life coach author speaker and I went down. I think 39 00:02:28,280 --> 00:02:31,280 Speaker 2: have you written three books already? Yes? 40 00:02:31,360 --> 00:02:32,720 Speaker 3: Three, and the. 41 00:02:32,639 --> 00:02:38,600 Speaker 1: Newest one is called am I saying seth sir rival. 42 00:02:38,360 --> 00:02:43,800 Speaker 2: MORI, Yes, this sounds incredible. I went down, I looked 43 00:02:43,880 --> 00:02:45,920 Speaker 2: up the four a's and I got really excited. 44 00:02:45,960 --> 00:02:50,840 Speaker 1: Anyway, I'm getting really pumped about this podcast because you 45 00:02:51,919 --> 00:02:52,760 Speaker 1: it seems. 46 00:02:52,440 --> 00:02:54,679 Speaker 2: Like your whole message is just so inspiring. 47 00:02:54,760 --> 00:02:57,639 Speaker 1: Every interview I've watched with you, every podcast I've listened 48 00:02:57,720 --> 00:03:00,760 Speaker 1: of you, everything I've seen on your Instagram. I did 49 00:03:00,760 --> 00:03:05,399 Speaker 1: a little Instagram stalk as well. You seems so inspiring. 50 00:03:05,520 --> 00:03:09,200 Speaker 1: So how First of all, how are you? You're in 51 00:03:09,240 --> 00:03:10,080 Speaker 1: New York at the moment? 52 00:03:10,120 --> 00:03:13,000 Speaker 3: Is that right? Yes, I'm in Brooklyn. 53 00:03:13,480 --> 00:03:14,720 Speaker 2: How's it going there? 54 00:03:15,960 --> 00:03:16,320 Speaker 3: You know what? 55 00:03:16,400 --> 00:03:19,120 Speaker 4: We're actually we're doing good because we kind of followed 56 00:03:19,240 --> 00:03:23,200 Speaker 4: protocol and our numbers are extremely down, and so things 57 00:03:23,200 --> 00:03:25,320 Speaker 4: are kind of getting back to normal. So you've seen 58 00:03:25,360 --> 00:03:28,280 Speaker 4: people in groups and things like that, but obviously social 59 00:03:28,320 --> 00:03:30,959 Speaker 4: distancing and wearing masks, but we're I think we're getting 60 00:03:31,160 --> 00:03:33,239 Speaker 4: back to quote unquote normal. 61 00:03:33,919 --> 00:03:34,359 Speaker 3: Awesome. 62 00:03:34,360 --> 00:03:35,880 Speaker 2: So where I'm where I'm living. 63 00:03:35,960 --> 00:03:38,840 Speaker 1: I'm from Australia, you can probably tell from my accent, 64 00:03:39,680 --> 00:03:42,880 Speaker 1: very strong accent, but I'm from Victoria and we're back 65 00:03:42,920 --> 00:03:46,920 Speaker 1: in lockdown, so full on lockdown. Yeah, we had a 66 00:03:46,920 --> 00:03:51,400 Speaker 1: massive outbreak, and so I am really excited in a 67 00:03:51,480 --> 00:03:53,640 Speaker 1: moment to kind of get your take on kind of 68 00:03:53,680 --> 00:03:58,840 Speaker 1: turning what can be a really confronting experience into an 69 00:03:58,840 --> 00:04:02,880 Speaker 1: opportunity to gain something positive about about it. 70 00:04:02,920 --> 00:04:06,360 Speaker 3: But first of all, Australia. By the way, I was 71 00:04:06,360 --> 00:04:09,040 Speaker 3: in Australia last February. I was in Wallongong. 72 00:04:09,560 --> 00:04:12,560 Speaker 1: Really, what were you doing in Australia. 73 00:04:13,280 --> 00:04:17,920 Speaker 4: So I was working with this organization AIN and I 74 00:04:17,960 --> 00:04:21,000 Speaker 4: was there to like teach emotional intelligence to the Aborigine kids. 75 00:04:21,360 --> 00:04:23,560 Speaker 2: So it was really double amazing. 76 00:04:24,600 --> 00:04:27,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, a beautiful country. 77 00:04:27,360 --> 00:04:29,080 Speaker 1: I didn't think you would have been to Australia, so 78 00:04:29,120 --> 00:04:30,600 Speaker 1: I'm very excited about that. 79 00:04:32,360 --> 00:04:33,840 Speaker 2: But I did a bit of research on you. And 80 00:04:33,880 --> 00:04:35,760 Speaker 2: you're originally from the South, is that right? 81 00:04:36,640 --> 00:04:38,839 Speaker 3: Yes, Am, I'm from Lancaster, Texas. 82 00:04:39,279 --> 00:04:40,479 Speaker 2: Yeah. 83 00:04:40,640 --> 00:04:42,919 Speaker 1: I study acting at the moment and I'm doing a 84 00:04:43,040 --> 00:04:45,960 Speaker 1: lot of Tennessee Williams plays and so we learned a lot. 85 00:04:46,040 --> 00:04:48,680 Speaker 1: I love to research, and so we learned so much 86 00:04:48,680 --> 00:04:52,080 Speaker 1: about the South. And it sounds like the South kind 87 00:04:52,120 --> 00:04:55,760 Speaker 1: of like has come from I guess got this beautiful 88 00:04:55,800 --> 00:04:59,840 Speaker 1: like there's like a romanticism even to a Southern accent, 89 00:04:59,839 --> 00:05:02,760 Speaker 1: but then there's a lot of like historical things that 90 00:05:02,880 --> 00:05:03,720 Speaker 1: needed to change. 91 00:05:03,720 --> 00:05:07,800 Speaker 4: Obviously, absolutely, I mean, and you know the thing, the 92 00:05:07,880 --> 00:05:10,479 Speaker 4: South is beautiful, but you know, like everything else, it 93 00:05:10,520 --> 00:05:13,480 Speaker 4: has its ugliness. Yeah, but you know, I mean, southern 94 00:05:13,560 --> 00:05:15,720 Speaker 4: living does teach you a lot of values. 95 00:05:16,960 --> 00:05:18,960 Speaker 3: It taught me a lot, Like I don't regret being 96 00:05:19,040 --> 00:05:20,440 Speaker 3: from the South, no way. 97 00:05:20,560 --> 00:05:25,120 Speaker 1: And it's I mean it's beautiful too, Yes, it's completely 98 00:05:25,120 --> 00:05:25,839 Speaker 1: it's very beautiful. 99 00:05:25,920 --> 00:05:26,520 Speaker 3: Absolutely. 100 00:05:26,640 --> 00:05:29,240 Speaker 1: So Then basically from when I've read you were like, 101 00:05:29,560 --> 00:05:31,320 Speaker 1: I want to get to New York. I'm going to 102 00:05:31,320 --> 00:05:33,360 Speaker 1: be a model, I'm going to be an actor. I'm 103 00:05:33,400 --> 00:05:37,080 Speaker 1: really into music. So you're obviously a very creative soul. 104 00:05:37,560 --> 00:05:39,159 Speaker 1: How old were you when you went to New York? 105 00:05:40,200 --> 00:05:40,680 Speaker 3: Two? 106 00:05:41,360 --> 00:05:45,040 Speaker 2: Awesome? Such a good age to do that. Yes, and 107 00:05:45,160 --> 00:05:45,919 Speaker 2: you just do this. 108 00:05:46,040 --> 00:05:48,680 Speaker 4: And I'm forty now, and I'm forty now, so I've 109 00:05:48,680 --> 00:05:50,240 Speaker 4: been here eighteen years. 110 00:05:50,520 --> 00:05:53,120 Speaker 2: Well you look phenomenal. Can I say thank you? 111 00:05:54,600 --> 00:05:54,720 Speaker 3: So? 112 00:05:55,120 --> 00:05:57,040 Speaker 5: I guess I want to know how did you kind 113 00:05:57,040 --> 00:05:59,840 Speaker 5: of go from alright, I'm in New York, you're working 114 00:05:59,839 --> 00:06:04,360 Speaker 5: in the music industry, syper creative, and then to go 115 00:06:04,480 --> 00:06:08,320 Speaker 5: from that to becoming you know, an award winning life coach. 116 00:06:09,680 --> 00:06:14,240 Speaker 3: Yeah, that's an interesting journey. The longest short of it. 117 00:06:14,120 --> 00:06:17,400 Speaker 4: Is is that my father, he passed away from a heroin 118 00:06:17,480 --> 00:06:21,840 Speaker 4: overdose suddenly, and I was in deep depression for a 119 00:06:21,839 --> 00:06:24,440 Speaker 4: long time. I would say, from like twenty four to 120 00:06:24,520 --> 00:06:27,560 Speaker 4: like maybe twenty eight, I was in a deep, deep depression. 121 00:06:28,160 --> 00:06:31,159 Speaker 4: And one of the things that I thought about, because 122 00:06:31,160 --> 00:06:33,279 Speaker 4: I believe your purpose is like a through line through 123 00:06:33,279 --> 00:06:35,120 Speaker 4: your life, and one of the things. 124 00:06:34,960 --> 00:06:36,760 Speaker 3: I thought about, I said, Okay, so while I'm. 125 00:06:36,640 --> 00:06:38,440 Speaker 4: In this, I need to think about some things that 126 00:06:38,720 --> 00:06:40,640 Speaker 4: at least made me happy. Are some things that brought 127 00:06:40,640 --> 00:06:41,119 Speaker 4: me joy. 128 00:06:41,560 --> 00:06:42,120 Speaker 3: And one of the. 129 00:06:42,000 --> 00:06:44,800 Speaker 4: Things that was a commonality throughout my life literally from 130 00:06:44,839 --> 00:06:47,320 Speaker 4: elementary up until this point now, was that I was 131 00:06:47,320 --> 00:06:50,560 Speaker 4: always the person that people came to for advice or 132 00:06:51,160 --> 00:06:53,400 Speaker 4: I was the confidante, Like they would share stuff with 133 00:06:53,440 --> 00:06:55,640 Speaker 4: me that I know they just wuldn't share with anybody else. 134 00:06:56,080 --> 00:06:58,880 Speaker 3: And so I was like, okay, that's something you know 135 00:06:59,040 --> 00:07:01,880 Speaker 3: that that brought me joy. And my father actually before 136 00:07:01,880 --> 00:07:04,000 Speaker 3: he passed away, he prophesied. 137 00:07:03,839 --> 00:07:05,720 Speaker 4: That I would be doing the work that I'm doing today. 138 00:07:06,120 --> 00:07:08,520 Speaker 4: So in his own weird way, I think he knew 139 00:07:08,520 --> 00:07:11,880 Speaker 4: he was going to go and he first saw this 140 00:07:12,040 --> 00:07:15,080 Speaker 4: future for me that is actually being realized right now. 141 00:07:15,360 --> 00:07:17,040 Speaker 3: So you know, I went through a very very deep 142 00:07:17,080 --> 00:07:20,560 Speaker 3: dark depression. I mean I remember days where I wouldn't shower, 143 00:07:20,800 --> 00:07:21,640 Speaker 3: like it was really bad. 144 00:07:23,720 --> 00:07:26,840 Speaker 4: But you know that space helped me to beat the 145 00:07:26,920 --> 00:07:29,600 Speaker 4: dynamic coach that I am today because I can't identify 146 00:07:29,760 --> 00:07:33,200 Speaker 4: with almost anyone's pain, regardless of what. 147 00:07:33,240 --> 00:07:35,680 Speaker 3: The pain is, I can identify with it because I 148 00:07:35,720 --> 00:07:38,920 Speaker 3: wasn't so much pain for that those years. 149 00:07:39,920 --> 00:07:40,520 Speaker 2: I've heard you. 150 00:07:40,520 --> 00:07:43,920 Speaker 1: Talk about your dad before, and you said you often 151 00:07:43,960 --> 00:07:46,960 Speaker 1: talk to your siblings about he might have been undiagnosed 152 00:07:47,000 --> 00:07:47,520 Speaker 1: by POLA. 153 00:07:47,600 --> 00:07:48,160 Speaker 2: Is that right? 154 00:07:49,080 --> 00:07:49,320 Speaker 3: Yes? 155 00:07:49,600 --> 00:07:51,960 Speaker 4: I think so looking back at it, because he would 156 00:07:52,000 --> 00:07:55,640 Speaker 4: have these episodes of mania and then he would have 157 00:07:55,760 --> 00:07:58,600 Speaker 4: these things of depression where he would sleep in the garage, 158 00:07:58,680 --> 00:08:00,800 Speaker 4: like he wouldn't want anyone to him. 159 00:08:00,720 --> 00:08:02,080 Speaker 3: Or he wouldn't shower. 160 00:08:02,320 --> 00:08:04,160 Speaker 4: He was just you know what I mean, so like 161 00:08:04,760 --> 00:08:07,200 Speaker 4: and he was also in Vietnam as well, so there's 162 00:08:07,240 --> 00:08:09,120 Speaker 4: some PTSD in there as well. 163 00:08:09,200 --> 00:08:12,000 Speaker 3: So definitely, So it. 164 00:08:11,960 --> 00:08:14,640 Speaker 1: Makes sense that you've got this passion for mental health 165 00:08:14,880 --> 00:08:17,640 Speaker 1: and I think shining a light on it. 166 00:08:17,760 --> 00:08:19,760 Speaker 2: I don't know if you learn this. 167 00:08:19,760 --> 00:08:23,080 Speaker 1: When you spent your time in Australia, but in Australia 168 00:08:23,200 --> 00:08:27,320 Speaker 1: it's still considered strange to have a therapist or a 169 00:08:27,360 --> 00:08:28,040 Speaker 1: life coach. 170 00:08:28,320 --> 00:08:30,720 Speaker 2: And I am very pro therapy. 171 00:08:31,000 --> 00:08:32,840 Speaker 1: I see a therapist once a week, and I have 172 00:08:32,960 --> 00:08:35,120 Speaker 1: been for now three and a half years, and it's 173 00:08:35,160 --> 00:08:39,880 Speaker 1: my non negotiable because it almost feels like a superpower 174 00:08:39,920 --> 00:08:43,720 Speaker 1: and you can understand your own psychology and human behavior. 175 00:08:44,880 --> 00:08:47,600 Speaker 1: But when I was researching your book, I read the 176 00:08:47,640 --> 00:08:51,240 Speaker 1: suicide rates are seven out of ten males. 177 00:08:51,360 --> 00:08:51,920 Speaker 2: Is that right? 178 00:08:53,600 --> 00:08:56,120 Speaker 1: And so as I committed by men, Yes, So I 179 00:08:56,200 --> 00:08:58,320 Speaker 1: researched for Australia as well, and I was like, sure, 180 00:08:58,520 --> 00:09:03,520 Speaker 1: like water, and it's in Australia suicide kills more than 181 00:09:03,559 --> 00:09:05,840 Speaker 1: eight people a day and we've got quite a low 182 00:09:05,880 --> 00:09:09,160 Speaker 1: population compared to you guys. And six of them are males, 183 00:09:09,200 --> 00:09:13,080 Speaker 1: two of them are females, So it's similar kind of stats, right, 184 00:09:14,440 --> 00:09:17,200 Speaker 1: And I think with males there's that bravado of like 185 00:09:17,320 --> 00:09:20,080 Speaker 1: I need to be strong, I can't talk about my emotion. 186 00:09:20,240 --> 00:09:23,679 Speaker 1: And I feel like you're almost like the pulling that 187 00:09:23,720 --> 00:09:26,320 Speaker 1: shield away and just being like you know, and I 188 00:09:26,320 --> 00:09:28,520 Speaker 1: feel like that's kind of your power. Can you just 189 00:09:28,520 --> 00:09:31,880 Speaker 1: share a little bit about I guess what you've learned 190 00:09:31,880 --> 00:09:34,920 Speaker 1: about mental health specifically with men. And I've seen that 191 00:09:34,960 --> 00:09:37,760 Speaker 1: you write a lot about like kind of like processing 192 00:09:38,200 --> 00:09:41,720 Speaker 1: past trauma and then kind of like turning that into thriving. 193 00:09:41,920 --> 00:09:44,480 Speaker 1: And yeah, it feels like you've got quite passion for 194 00:09:44,600 --> 00:09:46,840 Speaker 1: men's mental health, which I love. 195 00:09:47,160 --> 00:09:49,400 Speaker 2: I've asked a massive question, do whatever you want with it. 196 00:09:49,960 --> 00:09:52,800 Speaker 4: You know the reason why is that you know, I 197 00:09:52,840 --> 00:09:54,880 Speaker 4: grew up, I was molested as a child, and you 198 00:09:55,000 --> 00:09:57,199 Speaker 4: and the point that you emphasized growing up in the South, right, 199 00:09:57,559 --> 00:10:02,319 Speaker 4: so black, white, Mexican, whatever, the masculinity is still the same. 200 00:10:02,800 --> 00:10:05,120 Speaker 4: Like you don't deal with your emotions. You're taught to, 201 00:10:05,840 --> 00:10:08,959 Speaker 4: you know, suck it up, be a man, keep it moving. 202 00:10:09,679 --> 00:10:13,040 Speaker 4: And so I recognized that in my journey that I 203 00:10:13,120 --> 00:10:15,160 Speaker 4: was in so much pain for most of my life, 204 00:10:15,559 --> 00:10:17,400 Speaker 4: and I thought, I had this thought, I said, well, 205 00:10:17,440 --> 00:10:19,840 Speaker 4: if you're in pain, maybe other men are in pain. 206 00:10:19,880 --> 00:10:21,760 Speaker 4: But it didn't look like it because you know, they 207 00:10:21,840 --> 00:10:23,560 Speaker 4: knew how to function and I knew how to function. 208 00:10:24,240 --> 00:10:26,600 Speaker 4: And so like, I got to the space of giving 209 00:10:27,360 --> 00:10:29,720 Speaker 4: myself something that I didn't have so I wanted. So 210 00:10:29,720 --> 00:10:31,920 Speaker 4: whenever I'm working with a man or a young man, 211 00:10:32,040 --> 00:10:36,880 Speaker 4: I'm thinking about my younger self who didn't get that opportunity, 212 00:10:36,880 --> 00:10:39,199 Speaker 4: who didn't get the teaching, who didn't get the nurturing 213 00:10:39,320 --> 00:10:42,520 Speaker 4: right through no one's fault, right, because we only know 214 00:10:42,559 --> 00:10:45,560 Speaker 4: what we know at the time. But to go to 215 00:10:45,960 --> 00:10:48,719 Speaker 4: the largest scope, you know, what I've learned about men 216 00:10:48,880 --> 00:10:52,280 Speaker 4: is that a lot of men are in pain, and 217 00:10:52,320 --> 00:10:54,800 Speaker 4: a lot of men don't actually have the language to 218 00:10:55,000 --> 00:10:56,679 Speaker 4: articulate what it is. 219 00:10:56,679 --> 00:11:01,679 Speaker 3: That they're experiencing. And also too, which is important for women. 220 00:11:01,760 --> 00:11:03,880 Speaker 4: I tell them all the time, there's this small window 221 00:11:05,280 --> 00:11:07,840 Speaker 4: of opportunity for a man to be vulnerable, and once 222 00:11:07,880 --> 00:11:09,839 Speaker 4: that's compromised, it won't open up again. 223 00:11:11,160 --> 00:11:12,440 Speaker 3: And so I recognize that. 224 00:11:12,840 --> 00:11:17,280 Speaker 4: So whenever I am privileged enough to enter that sacred space, 225 00:11:17,720 --> 00:11:19,560 Speaker 4: I take full advantage of it because I know that 226 00:11:19,720 --> 00:11:22,320 Speaker 4: it may not happen again. And I'm hoping that in 227 00:11:22,320 --> 00:11:25,080 Speaker 4: that window of time that I'm in there, you know, 228 00:11:25,120 --> 00:11:28,240 Speaker 4: infiltrating and imparting the wisdom and the knowledge that I know, 229 00:11:28,640 --> 00:11:31,360 Speaker 4: that it'll turn into where they're open up more off. 230 00:11:32,120 --> 00:11:35,000 Speaker 1: Oh yeah, and I heard a podcast where you said 231 00:11:35,000 --> 00:11:39,719 Speaker 1: that often success is actually a closing mechanism or a 232 00:11:39,760 --> 00:11:43,719 Speaker 1: shield for like covering up propression or something that's mental health, 233 00:11:43,720 --> 00:11:45,640 Speaker 1: because we're looking for worse and validation. 234 00:11:45,840 --> 00:11:46,400 Speaker 2: Is that right? 235 00:11:46,480 --> 00:11:50,960 Speaker 3: Absolutely? Absolutely? And men we measure ourselves an output, right, 236 00:11:51,320 --> 00:11:52,120 Speaker 3: And you know. 237 00:11:52,120 --> 00:11:54,200 Speaker 4: You think about it traditionally, no matter what you know 238 00:11:54,240 --> 00:11:56,319 Speaker 4: your culture, men are the providers. 239 00:11:56,760 --> 00:12:00,040 Speaker 3: Men are you know, we're we're the protectors, and so 240 00:12:00,840 --> 00:12:02,160 Speaker 3: that's how we measure ourselves. 241 00:12:02,200 --> 00:12:05,200 Speaker 4: But I'm like, that's a great measuring tool, but there's 242 00:12:05,200 --> 00:12:07,839 Speaker 4: so much more. You're so much more, I say, men, 243 00:12:07,920 --> 00:12:11,160 Speaker 4: we don't get to be actualized anything else other than 244 00:12:11,200 --> 00:12:12,520 Speaker 4: being a provider or protector. 245 00:12:13,000 --> 00:12:14,480 Speaker 3: And women get the opportunity to be. 246 00:12:14,440 --> 00:12:17,840 Speaker 4: Actualized as sisters, it's daughters, it's friends, as you know, 247 00:12:17,880 --> 00:12:20,679 Speaker 4: as moms, is wife, you know, bosses, whatever it is 248 00:12:20,720 --> 00:12:23,040 Speaker 4: you want to be and and for men, we don't 249 00:12:23,040 --> 00:12:25,280 Speaker 4: ever get that opportunity. So like, I just wanted to 250 00:12:25,280 --> 00:12:28,199 Speaker 4: give men the opportunity to honor their humanity. 251 00:12:28,520 --> 00:12:31,119 Speaker 3: Like, you're so much more. We're so multi dimensional. 252 00:12:31,160 --> 00:12:34,640 Speaker 4: We're more than just you know, the provider, and we 253 00:12:34,679 --> 00:12:37,640 Speaker 4: shouldn't measure ourselves based solely off that one thing. 254 00:12:38,360 --> 00:12:38,960 Speaker 2: Totally. 255 00:12:39,240 --> 00:12:41,600 Speaker 1: I love that you're I love that you're shining a 256 00:12:41,640 --> 00:12:45,320 Speaker 1: lot on on that especially yea mental health with men 257 00:12:45,480 --> 00:12:46,800 Speaker 1: is in Australia. 258 00:12:47,040 --> 00:12:48,839 Speaker 2: It's like it's rare. 259 00:12:48,920 --> 00:12:51,439 Speaker 1: My boyfriend I both have a therapist and that our 260 00:12:51,480 --> 00:12:56,120 Speaker 1: relationship as a result of that, it's Yeah, it's it's 261 00:12:56,800 --> 00:12:57,520 Speaker 1: game change. 262 00:12:58,640 --> 00:12:58,840 Speaker 3: Yeah. 263 00:12:59,360 --> 00:13:01,880 Speaker 1: I saw knowing on your Instagram when you talked about 264 00:13:01,920 --> 00:13:04,199 Speaker 1: and I think you were referring to the pandemic we're 265 00:13:04,200 --> 00:13:06,320 Speaker 1: all going through at the moment. You talked about the 266 00:13:06,360 --> 00:13:11,040 Speaker 1: importance of staying calm, and I think when when we're 267 00:13:11,080 --> 00:13:14,560 Speaker 1: triggered by something, it's really easy to spiral and lose 268 00:13:14,600 --> 00:13:18,160 Speaker 1: a grip of reality. And I guess you kind of 269 00:13:18,240 --> 00:13:20,240 Speaker 1: I use the word always say if I feel like 270 00:13:20,240 --> 00:13:22,760 Speaker 1: I'm triggered by something, oh, I feel a bit discombobulated 271 00:13:22,760 --> 00:13:26,280 Speaker 1: because I've taken myself somewhere very far away from the 272 00:13:26,280 --> 00:13:28,920 Speaker 1: present moment. And I you just said so simply. You 273 00:13:28,960 --> 00:13:32,160 Speaker 1: were like, guys, we need to stay calm. What is 274 00:13:32,200 --> 00:13:34,720 Speaker 1: the power in being calm? 275 00:13:35,440 --> 00:13:38,480 Speaker 3: Well, I definitely think you know, for especially like many 276 00:13:38,520 --> 00:13:43,160 Speaker 3: of us feeling triggered right and not having the typical 277 00:13:43,200 --> 00:13:45,920 Speaker 3: things that we can do to escape that triggered feeling, 278 00:13:46,040 --> 00:13:48,160 Speaker 3: so like going to work or you. 279 00:13:48,080 --> 00:13:50,760 Speaker 4: Know, doing normal life, like having used to being in 280 00:13:50,800 --> 00:13:53,520 Speaker 4: this space where we have to kind of confront or 281 00:13:53,559 --> 00:13:56,520 Speaker 4: at least experience the emotion that we're feeling. I don't 282 00:13:56,520 --> 00:14:00,959 Speaker 4: want people to panic because psychosomatically, we can like symptoms 283 00:14:01,040 --> 00:14:03,840 Speaker 4: of COVID. Right if we because our mind, you know, 284 00:14:03,880 --> 00:14:06,640 Speaker 4: because our mind is that powerful. And so I want 285 00:14:06,920 --> 00:14:09,800 Speaker 4: I think if we remain calm, we get the answers 286 00:14:09,840 --> 00:14:11,840 Speaker 4: can come to us, the clarity can come, or at 287 00:14:11,920 --> 00:14:17,000 Speaker 4: least a bit of peace can come in the midst 288 00:14:17,000 --> 00:14:19,240 Speaker 4: of that, right, And so like that's my whole thing, 289 00:14:19,320 --> 00:14:20,960 Speaker 4: is like I don't want you to be afraid of 290 00:14:21,000 --> 00:14:22,640 Speaker 4: the emotion. I don't want you to panic and see 291 00:14:22,640 --> 00:14:24,560 Speaker 4: the emotion when you feel the emotion, because it can 292 00:14:24,560 --> 00:14:26,720 Speaker 4: become heightened and more heightened than it needs to be. 293 00:14:27,000 --> 00:14:29,480 Speaker 4: And so that's the benefit of remaining calm, because you're 294 00:14:29,480 --> 00:14:31,120 Speaker 4: able to have a little bit of clarity and you're 295 00:14:31,120 --> 00:14:33,160 Speaker 4: able to see it a little bit differently, You're able 296 00:14:33,200 --> 00:14:36,520 Speaker 4: to process it, and you're able to respond rather than 297 00:14:36,640 --> 00:14:38,440 Speaker 4: react totally. 298 00:14:38,560 --> 00:14:42,000 Speaker 1: I love the combination of calm brings clarity too. I 299 00:14:42,000 --> 00:14:45,080 Speaker 1: think you can't really have clarity without having a calm 300 00:14:45,480 --> 00:14:46,240 Speaker 1: state of being. 301 00:14:47,240 --> 00:14:49,080 Speaker 2: This is going to sound like a really weird question, 302 00:14:49,200 --> 00:14:53,360 Speaker 2: but I this is a very it's my own personal question. 303 00:14:53,480 --> 00:14:55,600 Speaker 2: I love New York. I've been there quite a few 304 00:14:55,600 --> 00:14:59,280 Speaker 2: times for work, and I just I love the energy 305 00:14:59,320 --> 00:14:59,640 Speaker 2: of it. 306 00:15:00,040 --> 00:15:04,080 Speaker 1: But I feel like, for all its inspiration, it's also 307 00:15:04,120 --> 00:15:05,320 Speaker 1: a very tough city. 308 00:15:06,080 --> 00:15:08,320 Speaker 2: And it's fast, and it's it. 309 00:15:08,200 --> 00:15:10,120 Speaker 1: Feels like it could chew you up and spit you 310 00:15:10,160 --> 00:15:14,239 Speaker 1: out if you weren't clear and grounded and focused. 311 00:15:15,240 --> 00:15:17,840 Speaker 2: What have you learned? You said, you spent eighteen years 312 00:15:17,840 --> 00:15:18,400 Speaker 2: in New York. 313 00:15:18,520 --> 00:15:22,000 Speaker 1: What have you learned by living inarguably maybe the most 314 00:15:22,080 --> 00:15:25,560 Speaker 1: inspiring city of the world, but maybe also the most 315 00:15:25,560 --> 00:15:27,640 Speaker 1: one of the most cut throat cities, you know, like 316 00:15:27,720 --> 00:15:30,120 Speaker 1: really direct cities of the world. 317 00:15:31,800 --> 00:15:34,400 Speaker 4: Man, you know, that's a that's a that's a vast question. 318 00:15:34,440 --> 00:15:37,360 Speaker 4: I've learned many things living here in New York. I 319 00:15:37,400 --> 00:15:39,160 Speaker 4: would say one of the biggest things. You know that 320 00:15:39,600 --> 00:15:41,600 Speaker 4: it's corny, but it's true. They say, if you make it, 321 00:15:41,640 --> 00:15:43,040 Speaker 4: if you can make it in New York, you can 322 00:15:43,080 --> 00:15:49,360 Speaker 4: make it anywhere. I've learned like I have this especially 323 00:15:49,400 --> 00:15:51,720 Speaker 4: working in music industry, working at dev Jam, I have 324 00:15:51,840 --> 00:15:55,200 Speaker 4: this mindset of get it done immediately. So I have 325 00:15:55,320 --> 00:15:58,360 Speaker 4: this immediacy thing about me wherever I go, and it's 326 00:15:58,400 --> 00:16:01,200 Speaker 4: like I'm not being difficult, I'm just just get it done. 327 00:16:01,680 --> 00:16:04,840 Speaker 4: And so like I'm very much like on the pulse 328 00:16:04,880 --> 00:16:07,920 Speaker 4: of things. I would definitely say that I've learned to 329 00:16:08,040 --> 00:16:08,920 Speaker 4: not procrastinate. 330 00:16:10,160 --> 00:16:11,000 Speaker 2: Oh that's such a. 331 00:16:11,000 --> 00:16:14,040 Speaker 3: Bid, because yeah, because this is the city that keeps 332 00:16:14,040 --> 00:16:14,480 Speaker 3: it moving. 333 00:16:14,800 --> 00:16:17,640 Speaker 4: So if you you know and you have opportunities, I've 334 00:16:17,720 --> 00:16:19,880 Speaker 4: learned that opportunities are few and far between, that you 335 00:16:19,960 --> 00:16:22,960 Speaker 4: have to seize them quickly, you know what I mean, 336 00:16:23,000 --> 00:16:25,560 Speaker 4: Because New York is always onto the next. They're always 337 00:16:25,600 --> 00:16:28,920 Speaker 4: on to the next. And so that those few things 338 00:16:29,000 --> 00:16:32,960 Speaker 4: I learned rather quickly. That's one thing that I love. 339 00:16:33,560 --> 00:16:37,160 Speaker 1: I love about Americans that Australians were much slower. 340 00:16:36,960 --> 00:16:38,520 Speaker 2: In business, in work. 341 00:16:38,760 --> 00:16:39,640 Speaker 3: In if you're. 342 00:16:39,520 --> 00:16:43,320 Speaker 1: Negotiating a contract or something, it can take weeks. In America, 343 00:16:43,400 --> 00:16:46,360 Speaker 1: that contract is going to be on your like presented 344 00:16:46,400 --> 00:16:48,720 Speaker 1: on your laptop by the end of the business day, 345 00:16:48,760 --> 00:16:51,920 Speaker 1: if you've had that many And I love and that's 346 00:16:51,960 --> 00:16:54,960 Speaker 1: what I always when I'm in America for work. I 347 00:16:54,960 --> 00:16:57,200 Speaker 1: feel like on the plane, I put this American hat 348 00:16:57,240 --> 00:17:00,240 Speaker 1: on and I'm like, I'm here, I'm read lower is 349 00:17:00,320 --> 00:17:02,640 Speaker 1: ready to do business. And it's so I find it 350 00:17:02,920 --> 00:17:06,600 Speaker 1: very empowering. And I think that get it done, that 351 00:17:06,640 --> 00:17:11,520 Speaker 1: get it done attitude. It almost it stops you from 352 00:17:11,560 --> 00:17:13,640 Speaker 1: kind of like getting hung up on stuff that does 353 00:17:13,800 --> 00:17:15,360 Speaker 1: you know, you kind of let go of stuff quite 354 00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:16,560 Speaker 1: quickly because. 355 00:17:16,359 --> 00:17:18,480 Speaker 2: You're so in the moment, which I love. 356 00:17:18,640 --> 00:17:21,640 Speaker 3: I've learned. I've learned to like let things go quickly 357 00:17:21,800 --> 00:17:24,439 Speaker 3: living here in New joy because you miss out on 358 00:17:24,640 --> 00:17:27,159 Speaker 3: opportunities if you're staying stuck in one place, and so 359 00:17:27,320 --> 00:17:28,000 Speaker 3: like that. 360 00:17:28,200 --> 00:17:30,159 Speaker 4: I would definitely say that's one of the biggest blessings 361 00:17:30,200 --> 00:17:31,840 Speaker 4: I'm living here in New York. It's like, Okay, I 362 00:17:31,840 --> 00:17:34,439 Speaker 4: got money to make, I can't really stay in the space, 363 00:17:34,680 --> 00:17:36,199 Speaker 4: you know what I mean. 364 00:17:37,680 --> 00:17:40,400 Speaker 1: I want to ask you about the three a's in 365 00:17:40,440 --> 00:17:40,920 Speaker 1: your book. 366 00:17:41,080 --> 00:17:45,960 Speaker 2: Can you talk me for sorry I saw for everyone listening. 367 00:17:46,520 --> 00:17:48,600 Speaker 1: Have you handy hand on the other side of zoom 368 00:17:48,640 --> 00:17:52,040 Speaker 1: going four? I had four up though, I promise, yeah 369 00:17:52,080 --> 00:17:52,400 Speaker 1: she did. 370 00:17:52,480 --> 00:17:52,840 Speaker 3: She did. 371 00:17:54,280 --> 00:17:55,000 Speaker 2: Can you take us. 372 00:17:54,920 --> 00:17:57,760 Speaker 1: Through the four a's. And because I feel like anybody 373 00:17:57,760 --> 00:17:58,440 Speaker 1: can relate to. 374 00:17:58,400 --> 00:18:02,480 Speaker 4: This absolutely, and I appreciate that because I've had other 375 00:18:02,920 --> 00:18:05,640 Speaker 4: podcasts and they've been women. They said, oh my god, 376 00:18:05,680 --> 00:18:07,240 Speaker 4: purpose I can relate to this. I know this is 377 00:18:07,280 --> 00:18:09,119 Speaker 4: for men, but I can totally relate to it. So 378 00:18:09,200 --> 00:18:13,800 Speaker 4: thank you for that. The four a's, or are the 379 00:18:13,840 --> 00:18:16,760 Speaker 4: things that were in common of the things that I 380 00:18:16,800 --> 00:18:19,080 Speaker 4: get to walk through my pain and to get to 381 00:18:19,119 --> 00:18:22,360 Speaker 4: a place of thriving and on the journey towards wholeness. 382 00:18:22,040 --> 00:18:25,480 Speaker 3: And they were the same things that I used with clients. 383 00:18:25,800 --> 00:18:26,720 Speaker 3: They were the common so. 384 00:18:26,680 --> 00:18:29,000 Speaker 4: I was I was looking for what was the commonalities 385 00:18:29,000 --> 00:18:31,080 Speaker 4: in all of us and those were before. There were 386 00:18:31,200 --> 00:18:34,080 Speaker 4: obviously other things, but those four a's stuck out the most. 387 00:18:34,320 --> 00:18:36,880 Speaker 4: So the first A is acknowledgment, right, which is rather 388 00:18:37,480 --> 00:18:40,080 Speaker 4: you know, self explanatory, but you know, I always say 389 00:18:40,119 --> 00:18:43,520 Speaker 4: there's power in acknowledging something, and I use the analogy 390 00:18:43,600 --> 00:18:45,119 Speaker 4: of alcoholics anonymous. 391 00:18:45,240 --> 00:18:46,159 Speaker 3: The reason why one of. 392 00:18:46,119 --> 00:18:49,280 Speaker 4: The most successful recovery programs in the world is because 393 00:18:49,320 --> 00:18:51,680 Speaker 4: every time they have a meeting, they say, my name 394 00:18:51,720 --> 00:18:55,439 Speaker 4: is Purpose, my name is Lola, and I am an alcoholic, right. 395 00:18:55,359 --> 00:18:58,160 Speaker 3: So they just call it what it is, they call 396 00:18:58,200 --> 00:18:59,440 Speaker 3: it out from the jont. 397 00:19:00,160 --> 00:19:04,439 Speaker 4: So that's that's like the first step to me in 398 00:19:04,480 --> 00:19:07,560 Speaker 4: a breakthrough. It's just acknowledging something's not working, something's not 399 00:19:07,720 --> 00:19:09,359 Speaker 4: something happened, something's wrong. 400 00:19:09,520 --> 00:19:13,840 Speaker 3: Right. The next A is acceptance, which. 401 00:19:13,680 --> 00:19:17,400 Speaker 4: Is really hard for a lot of us because we 402 00:19:17,440 --> 00:19:20,879 Speaker 4: feel like if we accept something, then we're condoning what happen, 403 00:19:21,800 --> 00:19:23,000 Speaker 4: and that's not what it. 404 00:19:23,240 --> 00:19:24,080 Speaker 3: That's not what it is. 405 00:19:24,640 --> 00:19:27,320 Speaker 4: We're not in agreement with what happened, but we are 406 00:19:27,359 --> 00:19:30,560 Speaker 4: in agreement that it did happen, got it, you know, 407 00:19:31,000 --> 00:19:34,320 Speaker 4: and just really accepting that. You know, I always tell people, 408 00:19:34,440 --> 00:19:36,800 Speaker 4: and this sounds rather harsh for them, I said. 409 00:19:36,640 --> 00:19:39,879 Speaker 3: You know that thing happened to you, but you're responsible 410 00:19:40,480 --> 00:19:43,800 Speaker 3: for what happens from you going forward. Yeah, and so, 411 00:19:44,000 --> 00:19:44,919 Speaker 3: and that's hard. 412 00:19:45,080 --> 00:19:48,280 Speaker 4: Right, So even me being molested, are being bullied, even 413 00:19:48,320 --> 00:19:50,399 Speaker 4: though that happened to me, I was still responsible for 414 00:19:50,440 --> 00:19:55,840 Speaker 4: how I showed up afterwards. And acceptance brings power. When 415 00:19:55,880 --> 00:19:58,320 Speaker 4: you accept something, it gives you power because now you're like, Okay, 416 00:19:58,359 --> 00:20:00,680 Speaker 4: I'm accepting this, so now I'm making su Now now 417 00:20:00,720 --> 00:20:04,840 Speaker 4: I'm empowered. Right, So then that's that's number two. Third 418 00:20:05,160 --> 00:20:08,480 Speaker 4: is articulation, right, which is being able to talk about 419 00:20:10,520 --> 00:20:15,679 Speaker 4: with emphasis, with description, with sensory language, what has happened 420 00:20:15,680 --> 00:20:18,879 Speaker 4: to you? Because I believe and you know this seeing 421 00:20:18,880 --> 00:20:21,359 Speaker 4: a therapist, your healing is in your words. Therapy is 422 00:20:21,359 --> 00:20:24,280 Speaker 4: an exchange of words, right, And words are powerful words 423 00:20:24,320 --> 00:20:28,679 Speaker 4: or spirits, And so the more language you use, the 424 00:20:28,680 --> 00:20:31,480 Speaker 4: more words you use to describe your experience, the greater 425 00:20:31,560 --> 00:20:34,040 Speaker 4: your healing can be. And so it's particularly as it 426 00:20:34,080 --> 00:20:36,280 Speaker 4: relates to men. I try to have men become more 427 00:20:36,359 --> 00:20:38,760 Speaker 4: verbal because you know, men a lot of us and 428 00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:40,240 Speaker 4: I don't want to pay with a broad stroke because 429 00:20:40,240 --> 00:20:42,080 Speaker 4: I don't want to get in trouble. But there are 430 00:20:42,119 --> 00:20:45,040 Speaker 4: a majority of men who are not as verbal as others. 431 00:20:45,320 --> 00:20:46,439 Speaker 3: Right, And even in the. 432 00:20:46,400 --> 00:20:48,840 Speaker 4: Book I say, I say that, you know, there's data 433 00:20:48,880 --> 00:20:51,080 Speaker 4: that says like men speak ten thousand words a day 434 00:20:51,119 --> 00:20:53,720 Speaker 4: when they speak on average thirty twenty thirty thousand. 435 00:20:53,440 --> 00:20:55,920 Speaker 3: Words to day, So it's like a twenty thousand word gap. Yeah. 436 00:20:56,040 --> 00:20:59,280 Speaker 4: So it's like, so my point is to get you 437 00:20:59,320 --> 00:21:03,320 Speaker 4: to use more words, to expand your emotional lexicon. 438 00:21:03,480 --> 00:21:05,320 Speaker 3: So you know what I mean, Like I love that word. 439 00:21:05,359 --> 00:21:08,080 Speaker 2: By the way, lexicon is my favorite. 440 00:21:07,680 --> 00:21:11,440 Speaker 3: Word, thank you, thank you. 441 00:21:11,480 --> 00:21:13,879 Speaker 1: My acting teacher taught it to me, and I was like, WHOA, 442 00:21:14,280 --> 00:21:15,080 Speaker 1: how did I not know? 443 00:21:15,200 --> 00:21:20,680 Speaker 3: This? Was keep going pfess my priensident in grad school? 444 00:21:20,800 --> 00:21:24,000 Speaker 3: That's how I really right, I was like, Okay, cool, 445 00:21:24,480 --> 00:21:26,840 Speaker 3: I'm running with it. But yeah, no, just developing an 446 00:21:26,880 --> 00:21:29,680 Speaker 3: emotional lexicon because we're more than just mad, happy, sad, 447 00:21:29,920 --> 00:21:31,359 Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. Like the soul. 448 00:21:31,720 --> 00:21:35,520 Speaker 4: You know, degrees are experienced in degrees, and you know 449 00:21:35,560 --> 00:21:38,960 Speaker 4: emotions are experiencing various degrees and intensity. So like you 450 00:21:39,000 --> 00:21:42,040 Speaker 4: know you may be perturbed, you may not necessarily be mad, 451 00:21:42,600 --> 00:21:45,600 Speaker 4: which is not as strong. Being perturbed is not as 452 00:21:45,680 --> 00:21:47,199 Speaker 4: strong as being gt raised. 453 00:21:47,640 --> 00:21:49,600 Speaker 3: Right. And the reason why it's important to know where 454 00:21:49,640 --> 00:21:50,000 Speaker 3: you are. 455 00:21:49,920 --> 00:21:52,560 Speaker 4: And what you're feeling is that if you can identify 456 00:21:52,600 --> 00:21:55,720 Speaker 4: what this is your experience and you can talk yourself down, yeah, 457 00:21:55,760 --> 00:21:57,560 Speaker 4: but if you don't know how to deal with your 458 00:21:57,600 --> 00:21:58,960 Speaker 4: emotions and you're afraid of. 459 00:21:58,920 --> 00:22:01,200 Speaker 3: Them, you're always going to go to level ten, which 460 00:22:01,280 --> 00:22:04,800 Speaker 3: is usually pissed off, anger and raised. And that's that, 461 00:22:05,240 --> 00:22:06,000 Speaker 3: you know what I'm saying. 462 00:22:06,160 --> 00:22:10,359 Speaker 1: And like mechanism too, Like I have a history of 463 00:22:10,359 --> 00:22:13,240 Speaker 1: eating disorders, and so anytime I feel uncomfortable, I'd go 464 00:22:13,320 --> 00:22:17,359 Speaker 1: to my control mechanism, which would be either to emotionally 465 00:22:17,960 --> 00:22:18,840 Speaker 1: or starve myself. 466 00:22:18,880 --> 00:22:21,160 Speaker 2: And it was just because I wouldn't. I wasn't accepting 467 00:22:21,160 --> 00:22:22,920 Speaker 2: what was going on, you know. 468 00:22:24,080 --> 00:22:27,159 Speaker 3: Right with anger, because anger is so empowering. 469 00:22:27,280 --> 00:22:30,040 Speaker 4: It feels empowering when you're angry, right, because you're like, 470 00:22:30,080 --> 00:22:31,639 Speaker 4: I'm mad as hell and I'm gonna fight it. 471 00:22:31,800 --> 00:22:32,239 Speaker 3: You know what I mean. 472 00:22:32,280 --> 00:22:35,720 Speaker 4: So that's empowering for a lot. And so like that's 473 00:22:35,760 --> 00:22:38,920 Speaker 4: that articulation is very very important. Then then the last 474 00:22:39,000 --> 00:22:42,000 Speaker 4: ace alchemy, which is like my favorite one. It's about 475 00:22:42,080 --> 00:22:46,800 Speaker 4: transforming all that stuff into something greater. Right, So taking 476 00:22:46,840 --> 00:22:48,760 Speaker 4: the lead in your life and turning it into gold. 477 00:22:49,040 --> 00:22:50,919 Speaker 3: So me, someone who. 478 00:22:50,880 --> 00:22:55,399 Speaker 4: Was disempowered in his masculinity, I now empower men in 479 00:22:55,480 --> 00:22:56,440 Speaker 4: their masculinity. 480 00:22:56,640 --> 00:22:57,399 Speaker 2: You see what I'm saying. 481 00:22:57,600 --> 00:23:01,040 Speaker 4: So it's like taking all of that month and turning 482 00:23:01,080 --> 00:23:02,240 Speaker 4: it into something greater. 483 00:23:02,560 --> 00:23:04,000 Speaker 3: And so that's what it's about. 484 00:23:04,200 --> 00:23:07,280 Speaker 4: It's about mastering the thing that's master you. 485 00:23:07,400 --> 00:23:10,199 Speaker 1: Yeah, and that's where the whole going from survival to 486 00:23:10,280 --> 00:23:12,120 Speaker 1: thriving kind of comes. 487 00:23:11,880 --> 00:23:15,359 Speaker 4: From that, Yeah, exactly. And so that those are the 488 00:23:15,359 --> 00:23:17,600 Speaker 4: four a'ses. And it's just like you know, I tell people, like, 489 00:23:17,800 --> 00:23:19,960 Speaker 4: you know, I had a client who dealt with physical. 490 00:23:19,560 --> 00:23:20,800 Speaker 3: Abuse in a marriage. 491 00:23:20,800 --> 00:23:23,040 Speaker 4: I said, well, you know, you made it through that, 492 00:23:23,160 --> 00:23:25,400 Speaker 4: but now you can teach other women how to get 493 00:23:25,520 --> 00:23:28,960 Speaker 4: through it. And that is alchemy because now you're taking 494 00:23:29,000 --> 00:23:31,480 Speaker 4: something that once defeated you, and now you're defeating you 495 00:23:31,560 --> 00:23:33,399 Speaker 4: by helping other women to not go to what you do. 496 00:23:34,160 --> 00:23:36,800 Speaker 2: Oh totally I could talk to you all day. This 497 00:23:36,920 --> 00:23:37,359 Speaker 2: is great. 498 00:23:39,800 --> 00:23:42,000 Speaker 1: I really want to talk to you about I think 499 00:23:42,000 --> 00:23:42,880 Speaker 1: I saw an interview. 500 00:23:43,119 --> 00:23:45,399 Speaker 2: I've soaked up so much content of you, like I 501 00:23:45,440 --> 00:23:49,080 Speaker 2: said at the start, was so appreciated that it's not 502 00:23:49,280 --> 00:23:49,840 Speaker 2: so much fun. 503 00:23:50,119 --> 00:23:55,240 Speaker 1: But I'm also a very My work ethic is very 504 00:23:55,400 --> 00:23:58,560 Speaker 1: I'm very precise in particular, so I like to go 505 00:23:58,640 --> 00:24:02,480 Speaker 1: as deep as I can. And I watched will I 506 00:24:02,480 --> 00:24:07,680 Speaker 1: watched this interview with you, and you talked about willpower 507 00:24:08,000 --> 00:24:11,119 Speaker 1: and determination. And I think when we've got a goal, 508 00:24:11,520 --> 00:24:13,600 Speaker 1: or we've got something we want to set out to achieve, 509 00:24:13,880 --> 00:24:16,800 Speaker 1: initially you've kind of got that willpower at the start, right, 510 00:24:16,960 --> 00:24:19,600 Speaker 1: or even if it's I'm a nutritionist, and even if 511 00:24:19,600 --> 00:24:22,400 Speaker 1: it's eating healthy right, and often my clients will really 512 00:24:22,400 --> 00:24:24,879 Speaker 1: healthy for a week, maybe two if they're lucky, and 513 00:24:24,920 --> 00:24:29,440 Speaker 1: then they won't, that willpower completely is out the window. 514 00:24:29,680 --> 00:24:31,920 Speaker 2: And so I guess what I want to hear from 515 00:24:31,920 --> 00:24:34,160 Speaker 2: you is where do we find that tenacity and that 516 00:24:34,600 --> 00:24:39,719 Speaker 2: real like that stick ability to maintain determination and willpower? 517 00:24:41,160 --> 00:24:45,080 Speaker 3: Well you you articularly the very well. I think the 518 00:24:45,240 --> 00:24:45,960 Speaker 3: challenge will. 519 00:24:45,840 --> 00:24:49,320 Speaker 4: Willpower is that it doesn't last. To your point, it 520 00:24:49,359 --> 00:24:51,879 Speaker 4: doesn't last and that's where faith has to come in. 521 00:24:52,280 --> 00:24:54,919 Speaker 4: That's where its surrendering to something greater than yourself has 522 00:24:54,960 --> 00:24:56,560 Speaker 4: to come in, you know what I mean. So like 523 00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:59,399 Speaker 4: you know, for me it's Christ I talk about it, 524 00:24:59,800 --> 00:25:01,760 Speaker 4: you know, or that is what it is. But for 525 00:25:01,920 --> 00:25:05,040 Speaker 4: other people, whatever that is for you, surrendering to something 526 00:25:05,119 --> 00:25:08,200 Speaker 4: greater than you, having faith and relying on that instead 527 00:25:08,240 --> 00:25:11,679 Speaker 4: of relying on yourself, that's that is happening through Like 528 00:25:12,119 --> 00:25:14,720 Speaker 4: because I know permise, I'll do a diet. 529 00:25:14,480 --> 00:25:18,440 Speaker 3: For a week, I'll eat vegan, I'll eat as clean 530 00:25:18,480 --> 00:25:21,920 Speaker 3: as I can for a week, and then comes Saturday, 531 00:25:22,280 --> 00:25:24,800 Speaker 3: I'm eating You know, I'm eating something I don't need 532 00:25:24,840 --> 00:25:25,280 Speaker 3: to be eating. 533 00:25:25,680 --> 00:25:32,680 Speaker 2: Right today, your old said you had a good diet. Yes. 534 00:25:34,160 --> 00:25:36,480 Speaker 4: By the way, my my physical training is kicking my butt. 535 00:25:36,560 --> 00:25:40,280 Speaker 4: But anyhow, there's another conversation. But it's also it's also 536 00:25:40,359 --> 00:25:43,119 Speaker 4: about the vision, right, It's also so it's about the surrendering, 537 00:25:43,280 --> 00:25:46,080 Speaker 4: it's about the faith, but it's also about the vision. 538 00:25:47,119 --> 00:25:50,520 Speaker 3: What do you what do you want? Right? And I 539 00:25:50,560 --> 00:25:53,040 Speaker 3: think for many of us, when you ask a person 540 00:25:53,080 --> 00:25:56,520 Speaker 3: that they are afraid to really tell you. And it's 541 00:25:56,600 --> 00:26:02,719 Speaker 3: about really knowing what you want and giving yourself mini goals, 542 00:26:02,800 --> 00:26:06,719 Speaker 3: many things in between, right, mini goals. So like for me, 543 00:26:06,800 --> 00:26:08,880 Speaker 3: I'll reward myself purpose. You made it through a whole 544 00:26:08,960 --> 00:26:10,920 Speaker 3: week of eating clean. You know what. 545 00:26:11,000 --> 00:26:14,720 Speaker 4: You can't eat that on Saturday, but you're gonna get 546 00:26:14,800 --> 00:26:17,520 Speaker 4: right back on it the next day, because you know 547 00:26:17,560 --> 00:26:18,960 Speaker 4: what I mean, you. 548 00:26:18,880 --> 00:26:20,680 Speaker 3: Have this vision in mind. I have a vision of 549 00:26:20,760 --> 00:26:23,399 Speaker 3: what I want, and so that's where that comes in. 550 00:26:23,520 --> 00:26:26,920 Speaker 4: And it's not really it's not necessarily willpower, because I mean, 551 00:26:27,160 --> 00:26:29,800 Speaker 4: today I want to eat some pie, but I'm not, 552 00:26:32,320 --> 00:26:34,359 Speaker 4: you know what I mean, Like I really I was 553 00:26:34,440 --> 00:26:37,840 Speaker 4: literally just walking past this this t shop in Brooklyn. 554 00:26:37,880 --> 00:26:39,040 Speaker 3: They make the best apple pie. 555 00:26:39,880 --> 00:26:42,120 Speaker 4: It's like purpose, you know what I said, You had 556 00:26:42,119 --> 00:26:44,600 Speaker 4: three claients today, you worked out in the gym, You 557 00:26:44,640 --> 00:26:48,040 Speaker 4: did so good today. You deserve that pie. And then 558 00:26:48,080 --> 00:26:49,920 Speaker 4: I thought about it and I said, you know what, 559 00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:51,800 Speaker 4: I can make it through this. 560 00:26:52,160 --> 00:26:53,800 Speaker 3: I can make it through it. It wasn't and it wasn't 561 00:26:53,800 --> 00:26:56,040 Speaker 3: even it wasn't even will power. It was just that 562 00:26:56,080 --> 00:26:57,720 Speaker 3: conversation like, well, purpose. 563 00:26:57,480 --> 00:27:01,080 Speaker 4: You know what you want, what you're working towards, that's 564 00:27:01,119 --> 00:27:03,200 Speaker 4: gonna you know what I mean? And you eating that pie. 565 00:27:03,560 --> 00:27:05,840 Speaker 4: I'm not saying it's gonna throw off everything else. But 566 00:27:06,480 --> 00:27:10,080 Speaker 4: in breaking that that stride and breaking that that pattern, 567 00:27:10,160 --> 00:27:13,080 Speaker 4: it can it can disrupt everything. So for me, it's like, 568 00:27:13,520 --> 00:27:16,680 Speaker 4: it's really about being grace gracious towards yourself, not being 569 00:27:16,720 --> 00:27:20,000 Speaker 4: hard on yourself. It's really about having faith, having a vision, 570 00:27:20,119 --> 00:27:23,840 Speaker 4: setting up mini goals, you know, and and and you know, 571 00:27:23,960 --> 00:27:26,800 Speaker 4: finding the determination you have to always know your why. 572 00:27:27,840 --> 00:27:30,520 Speaker 3: Why do I want this? Why do why am I 573 00:27:30,560 --> 00:27:34,600 Speaker 3: doing this? I'm forty, I'm not thirty or twenty anymore. 574 00:27:34,920 --> 00:27:37,159 Speaker 3: Why do I want to be Because I'm forty, I 575 00:27:37,240 --> 00:27:38,840 Speaker 3: want to be healthy. I don't you know what I mean. 576 00:27:38,840 --> 00:27:41,520 Speaker 4: My metabolism isn't what it used to be, you know. 577 00:27:41,640 --> 00:27:44,479 Speaker 4: So it's like understanding my why. It's a it's a 578 00:27:44,520 --> 00:27:47,360 Speaker 4: combination of many things. It's a combination of many things, and. 579 00:27:47,280 --> 00:27:50,280 Speaker 3: I think for each person it differs, but I definitely 580 00:27:50,280 --> 00:27:52,680 Speaker 3: know those are the ingredients a part of it. 581 00:27:53,520 --> 00:27:55,920 Speaker 1: I don't I'm gonna drive grace quickly just because you 582 00:27:55,960 --> 00:27:57,879 Speaker 1: said apple pie one thing that you can get in 583 00:27:57,880 --> 00:28:01,000 Speaker 1: America and you cannot get in Australia, and it's my favorite. 584 00:28:00,600 --> 00:28:06,639 Speaker 2: Thing, pumpkin pie. You can't get it. I just love 585 00:28:06,680 --> 00:28:08,600 Speaker 2: the spices. You can't get it in Australia. 586 00:28:09,080 --> 00:28:12,000 Speaker 3: I tell you the food was so good in Australia. 587 00:28:12,119 --> 00:28:12,960 Speaker 3: It was so clean. 588 00:28:13,400 --> 00:28:15,720 Speaker 2: Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. We're very lucky. 589 00:28:15,720 --> 00:28:18,879 Speaker 1: We have access to so many great, great produce and 590 00:28:18,920 --> 00:28:22,640 Speaker 1: a lot of local produce. Like where we I mentioned earlier, 591 00:28:22,640 --> 00:28:25,200 Speaker 1: we're in a lockdown, but we're allowed to drive to 592 00:28:25,240 --> 00:28:26,240 Speaker 1: pick up ingredients. 593 00:28:26,320 --> 00:28:29,919 Speaker 2: And there's where we live. We're in an area called Talkie. 594 00:28:29,400 --> 00:28:31,879 Speaker 1: And it's like have you heard of Byron Bay before 595 00:28:32,040 --> 00:28:35,080 Speaker 1: in Australia, it's like the Byron Bay Victoria. 596 00:28:35,160 --> 00:28:37,960 Speaker 2: So it's surfy, and we drive to a. 597 00:28:37,920 --> 00:28:41,840 Speaker 1: Local fishmonger that catches local fish and that's the third week, 598 00:28:42,160 --> 00:28:45,640 Speaker 1: so it's it is really incredible. But I totally digress 599 00:28:45,640 --> 00:28:47,560 Speaker 1: when you mentioned apple piles, like I've got talking about. 600 00:28:48,320 --> 00:28:50,080 Speaker 4: I just want to I just want to tell I 601 00:28:50,200 --> 00:28:52,040 Speaker 4: just want to tell you guys. But I tell everybody 602 00:28:52,040 --> 00:28:54,360 Speaker 4: I said the food was so clean in Australia. They asked, 603 00:28:55,080 --> 00:28:57,280 Speaker 4: how's the food. I say, it's very clean and the air. 604 00:28:59,480 --> 00:29:02,280 Speaker 2: Is really here, like because we've got so much space. 605 00:29:03,440 --> 00:29:07,160 Speaker 3: Yeah, I didn't have my allergies in active. It was 606 00:29:07,280 --> 00:29:09,480 Speaker 3: perfect anyhow, so good. 607 00:29:09,800 --> 00:29:12,800 Speaker 1: So I guess now knowing that you've got this passion 608 00:29:13,200 --> 00:29:16,480 Speaker 1: for and this in yoga, I also teach yoga. There's 609 00:29:16,480 --> 00:29:20,520 Speaker 1: this word we use called dama, and when you live 610 00:29:20,560 --> 00:29:22,840 Speaker 1: your dama, you're living true to your purpose. And it 611 00:29:22,880 --> 00:29:25,160 Speaker 1: feels like talking to you, you're living true to your 612 00:29:25,280 --> 00:29:30,440 Speaker 1: dama and it is to I think inspire and help people. 613 00:29:30,840 --> 00:29:33,680 Speaker 1: But I guess to bring it to the now and 614 00:29:33,760 --> 00:29:36,920 Speaker 1: to what's going on today. How what do you believe 615 00:29:37,720 --> 00:29:40,440 Speaker 1: are the takeaways and the positive lessons that we can 616 00:29:40,520 --> 00:29:44,720 Speaker 1: learn from this time of being in lockdown and facing 617 00:29:44,720 --> 00:29:48,040 Speaker 1: a pandemic and everybody's plans have been pretty. 618 00:29:47,840 --> 00:29:51,480 Speaker 2: Much thrown up into the air. You know what it's 619 00:29:51,560 --> 00:29:52,000 Speaker 2: like for me? 620 00:29:52,080 --> 00:29:55,640 Speaker 1: I was I was on a flight booked March eighteenth 621 00:29:55,720 --> 00:29:58,480 Speaker 1: to LA for work and it all just like in 622 00:29:58,520 --> 00:30:01,240 Speaker 1: the it just blew up at the and it hasn't 623 00:30:01,280 --> 00:30:03,680 Speaker 1: happened yet and that's totally fine. But it's taken a 624 00:30:03,720 --> 00:30:06,280 Speaker 1: lot of therapy sessions to kind of process that and 625 00:30:06,320 --> 00:30:12,000 Speaker 1: be okay with it. And you mentioned faith before. Really trust, 626 00:30:12,200 --> 00:30:13,840 Speaker 1: trust is a real big man try for me. 627 00:30:14,160 --> 00:30:15,040 Speaker 2: But yeah, what are some of. 628 00:30:15,000 --> 00:30:17,920 Speaker 1: The positive things that we can take away from this 629 00:30:18,040 --> 00:30:20,000 Speaker 1: time of potentially being locked down. 630 00:30:19,920 --> 00:30:23,160 Speaker 4: And I say, I see the biggest thing. And I've 631 00:30:23,200 --> 00:30:27,720 Speaker 4: said there's numerous numerous interviews, it's a time of self discovery, right. 632 00:30:27,760 --> 00:30:30,040 Speaker 3: I think many of us have not gotten a chance 633 00:30:30,040 --> 00:30:32,520 Speaker 3: to know who we are. And even though some things 634 00:30:32,520 --> 00:30:35,760 Speaker 3: may come up, there are not necessarily pretty or not 635 00:30:35,840 --> 00:30:37,880 Speaker 3: necessarily shareable with. 636 00:30:37,880 --> 00:30:43,440 Speaker 4: Everybody, right, And I think that's important for to know thyself, right. 637 00:30:43,560 --> 00:30:45,440 Speaker 4: And so for me, even in this space, I some 638 00:30:45,520 --> 00:30:47,640 Speaker 4: things have come up for me that have been like, oh. 639 00:30:47,400 --> 00:30:50,520 Speaker 3: Wow, I dealt with that. Okay, I haven't, so let 640 00:30:50,560 --> 00:30:52,080 Speaker 3: me just let me deal with it. 641 00:30:52,080 --> 00:30:55,240 Speaker 4: Some more, which is great, right, because it's it's I'm 642 00:30:55,280 --> 00:30:57,960 Speaker 4: on the journey towards wholdness, and so like for me, 643 00:30:58,160 --> 00:31:00,240 Speaker 4: I think this again, I think it's a wonderful time 644 00:31:00,240 --> 00:31:02,080 Speaker 4: for everyone to get to know who they are and 645 00:31:02,120 --> 00:31:04,480 Speaker 4: not be afraid of that, to embrace who you are, 646 00:31:05,920 --> 00:31:08,080 Speaker 4: to acknowledge some great things about you. 647 00:31:08,600 --> 00:31:11,760 Speaker 3: Everything that comes up can't be yucky, right, you know. 648 00:31:11,840 --> 00:31:14,000 Speaker 3: And I think for a lot of people that tends 649 00:31:14,040 --> 00:31:16,640 Speaker 3: to be our bend is the yucky stuff, and we 650 00:31:16,720 --> 00:31:18,760 Speaker 3: tend to ignore the good stuff that comes up because 651 00:31:18,800 --> 00:31:22,200 Speaker 3: we're so like, we're so hell bent on the oh 652 00:31:22,240 --> 00:31:24,160 Speaker 3: this is wrong. This is wrong. This is wrong. But 653 00:31:24,200 --> 00:31:25,160 Speaker 3: what about what is right? 654 00:31:25,720 --> 00:31:28,080 Speaker 4: What about the fact that you can acknowledge that there's 655 00:31:28,080 --> 00:31:29,720 Speaker 4: some things that are not working in you're life. 656 00:31:29,720 --> 00:31:30,520 Speaker 3: That's a positive. 657 00:31:32,280 --> 00:31:33,960 Speaker 2: I've heard you and I've heard you mention that. 658 00:31:34,080 --> 00:31:36,800 Speaker 1: Is it true that our brain is wired to kind 659 00:31:36,800 --> 00:31:38,760 Speaker 1: of focus on the negative as it's almost like a 660 00:31:38,800 --> 00:31:39,880 Speaker 1: protection mechanism. 661 00:31:40,120 --> 00:31:40,600 Speaker 2: Is that wrong? 662 00:31:40,640 --> 00:31:40,920 Speaker 3: It is? 663 00:31:41,480 --> 00:31:43,400 Speaker 4: Yeah, It's like it's easier for you to call a 664 00:31:43,440 --> 00:31:47,040 Speaker 4: negative experience than a positive one, right, But but the 665 00:31:47,040 --> 00:31:48,080 Speaker 4: brain is a muscle, so. 666 00:31:48,080 --> 00:31:51,880 Speaker 3: You have to train it to be possitive, you know, 667 00:31:52,400 --> 00:31:54,960 Speaker 3: So like this is a space like silver instance, I. 668 00:31:54,880 --> 00:31:57,320 Speaker 4: Have a very couple that I'm working with and they're 669 00:31:57,320 --> 00:32:00,360 Speaker 4: making significant progress. Obviously, they have their moment where they 670 00:32:00,480 --> 00:32:02,800 Speaker 4: kind of redress a little bit. But I tell them, 671 00:32:02,800 --> 00:32:06,160 Speaker 4: I said, but you have to celebrate how far you've come. 672 00:32:06,560 --> 00:32:08,680 Speaker 4: And they and every time I say that to them, 673 00:32:08,680 --> 00:32:09,920 Speaker 4: they're looking at me like I'm crazy. 674 00:32:10,240 --> 00:32:13,840 Speaker 3: I'm like, no, but you have come significantly far. At 675 00:32:13,840 --> 00:32:17,520 Speaker 3: one point, all I heard was expertives the whole session. 676 00:32:18,600 --> 00:32:21,000 Speaker 4: And now you guys are talking to each other instead 677 00:32:21,000 --> 00:32:22,000 Speaker 4: of talking at each other. 678 00:32:22,400 --> 00:32:26,200 Speaker 3: That is an accomplishment. And so for them. I think 679 00:32:26,600 --> 00:32:29,600 Speaker 3: I think that particular couple, I think they're now starting 680 00:32:29,600 --> 00:32:32,320 Speaker 3: to embrace like yo, I have grown or yes, i 681 00:32:32,320 --> 00:32:34,560 Speaker 3: have some things that are not working, but I'm discovering 682 00:32:34,600 --> 00:32:36,520 Speaker 3: this new aspect of who I am as a person. 683 00:32:37,000 --> 00:32:39,880 Speaker 4: So I think self discovery is one of the biggest 684 00:32:39,880 --> 00:32:43,920 Speaker 4: things that's coming out of this pandemic with people totally. 685 00:32:44,000 --> 00:32:46,840 Speaker 1: And I love that you said celebrate the winds, like 686 00:32:46,960 --> 00:32:50,480 Speaker 1: celebrate the good things. In Australia, we have this thing 687 00:32:51,240 --> 00:32:54,520 Speaker 1: called tall poppy syndrome. It does not exist in America, 688 00:32:54,560 --> 00:32:56,960 Speaker 1: so you probably haven't heard of it. But basically, we 689 00:32:57,040 --> 00:32:59,600 Speaker 1: don't celebrate people when they succeed. We kind of talk 690 00:33:00,320 --> 00:33:04,640 Speaker 1: about them. It's a really yucky Australian trait. And so 691 00:33:04,760 --> 00:33:08,000 Speaker 1: when you kind of celebrate yourself, and like in America, 692 00:33:08,160 --> 00:33:09,600 Speaker 1: I'll go into a meeting and I'm like, yeah, I've 693 00:33:09,600 --> 00:33:13,080 Speaker 1: written ten books and you can say that, okay in America, right, 694 00:33:13,120 --> 00:33:15,840 Speaker 1: and Americans will do exactly what you just did. And 695 00:33:15,840 --> 00:33:17,600 Speaker 1: if you do it to an Australian, if you walk 696 00:33:17,640 --> 00:33:19,320 Speaker 1: into a meeting and you're like, yeah, I've written ten books, 697 00:33:19,360 --> 00:33:21,520 Speaker 1: I'll be like, oh, e's up. Get over yourself, Like 698 00:33:21,560 --> 00:33:26,160 Speaker 1: Australians are very It's our nature to do that. And 699 00:33:26,200 --> 00:33:29,320 Speaker 1: I think a big thing that my therapist has taught 700 00:33:29,360 --> 00:33:33,280 Speaker 1: me is celebrate who you are and actually love who 701 00:33:33,320 --> 00:33:37,040 Speaker 1: you are. And that is when you walk into a room, 702 00:33:37,120 --> 00:33:38,880 Speaker 1: you can feel, and I think that's why I'm so 703 00:33:38,960 --> 00:33:42,040 Speaker 1: excited to interview you. You can feel when someone's living 704 00:33:42,080 --> 00:33:46,240 Speaker 1: their truth and they genuinely love themselves, like love themselves, 705 00:33:46,280 --> 00:33:49,440 Speaker 1: love to the core, like love who they are. And 706 00:33:49,520 --> 00:33:51,640 Speaker 1: I love the way you've opened up about you know, 707 00:33:51,800 --> 00:33:55,280 Speaker 1: some of the I guess the more lessons. This podcast 708 00:33:55,360 --> 00:33:59,440 Speaker 1: is called fearlessly failing, and so I love to celebrate. 709 00:34:00,960 --> 00:34:02,360 Speaker 2: That. But I loved that. 710 00:34:02,480 --> 00:34:05,120 Speaker 1: I love and I do want to ask you have 711 00:34:05,240 --> 00:34:08,439 Speaker 1: opened up about a few moments that have been quite 712 00:34:08,480 --> 00:34:12,160 Speaker 1: tricky for you. But I know from researching you were 713 00:34:12,160 --> 00:34:15,440 Speaker 1: bullied at school a fair beard as well, and like 714 00:34:16,560 --> 00:34:18,720 Speaker 1: for me, I believe that the failures are the biggest 715 00:34:18,719 --> 00:34:20,520 Speaker 1: gifts because you can like you said. 716 00:34:20,480 --> 00:34:24,000 Speaker 3: I agree, Yeah, can. 717 00:34:23,360 --> 00:34:25,960 Speaker 1: You share an example of that, potentially from your own 718 00:34:26,000 --> 00:34:28,839 Speaker 1: life or a client whatever, So you. 719 00:34:28,800 --> 00:34:29,840 Speaker 3: Know what's interesting. 720 00:34:29,920 --> 00:34:33,000 Speaker 4: So I was engaged one time people, I was like, really, 721 00:34:33,200 --> 00:34:36,680 Speaker 4: I was engaged to and she was a psychiatrist, and 722 00:34:38,560 --> 00:34:42,319 Speaker 4: I really liked her, really had good chemistry, but our 723 00:34:42,400 --> 00:34:46,360 Speaker 4: concord resolution style was trash right. 724 00:34:46,719 --> 00:34:50,839 Speaker 3: And at that time I didn't know how. 725 00:34:50,800 --> 00:34:53,040 Speaker 4: Much anger I had inside of me until I got 726 00:34:53,080 --> 00:34:56,520 Speaker 4: into that relationship unprocessed anger than it didn't necessarily have 727 00:34:56,560 --> 00:34:58,960 Speaker 4: to do with her, but it was triggering for things 728 00:34:58,960 --> 00:35:01,640 Speaker 4: that happened in the past and vice versa for her 729 00:35:01,680 --> 00:35:02,080 Speaker 4: as well. 730 00:35:02,719 --> 00:35:05,600 Speaker 3: And when I tell you, I showed. 731 00:35:05,400 --> 00:35:09,839 Speaker 4: Up in ways that disappointed me, like I felt like 732 00:35:09,920 --> 00:35:13,279 Speaker 4: I definitely was like trying to want up her and. 733 00:35:13,280 --> 00:35:16,160 Speaker 3: Like be petty, do tip or tact. I just didn't 734 00:35:16,239 --> 00:35:18,759 Speaker 3: like any of the ways that I showed up in 735 00:35:18,800 --> 00:35:19,520 Speaker 3: that relationship. 736 00:35:19,840 --> 00:35:24,240 Speaker 4: But thankful that that happened because now I understood, okay, purpose, 737 00:35:24,760 --> 00:35:26,799 Speaker 4: you have some issues that you still need to deal with. 738 00:35:27,600 --> 00:35:30,040 Speaker 4: And that was eight years ago, but now you know, 739 00:35:30,200 --> 00:35:33,720 Speaker 4: I've had relationships since then, But when we had disagreements, they. 740 00:35:33,600 --> 00:35:37,839 Speaker 3: Were not nearly as volatile as they were in that relationship, 741 00:35:38,280 --> 00:35:40,080 Speaker 3: and so I didn't even know that I had been 742 00:35:40,160 --> 00:35:42,640 Speaker 3: in me to be volatile, you know what I mean. 743 00:35:42,680 --> 00:35:45,440 Speaker 3: And it wasn't physical but just at all, but it 744 00:35:45,480 --> 00:35:49,320 Speaker 3: was just you know, volatile, like you being a toxic, 745 00:35:49,840 --> 00:35:51,960 Speaker 3: toxic environment. I didn't even know that I could do that. 746 00:35:51,960 --> 00:35:52,640 Speaker 3: I didn't even know. 747 00:35:52,640 --> 00:35:55,480 Speaker 4: I was capable of that. And so that lesson in 748 00:35:55,560 --> 00:35:58,120 Speaker 4: me feeling myself because I had this vision of myself. 749 00:35:58,160 --> 00:36:01,279 Speaker 4: I was like, I'm this good guy, it's Christian. 750 00:36:01,080 --> 00:36:03,960 Speaker 3: Men, I'm all this and all that, and I was 751 00:36:04,080 --> 00:36:09,839 Speaker 3: literally just like you like all of that, and so 752 00:36:09,920 --> 00:36:11,960 Speaker 3: for me, I was just like, Wow, that is a 753 00:36:12,000 --> 00:36:15,960 Speaker 3: huge failure. But I learned a lot about myself. 754 00:36:16,520 --> 00:36:19,120 Speaker 1: Yeah, thank you for sharing that. 755 00:36:19,200 --> 00:36:22,880 Speaker 2: I love. I personally love the power of failure. 756 00:36:22,920 --> 00:36:26,479 Speaker 1: And I've interviewed olympians on this podcast that I've talked 757 00:36:26,480 --> 00:36:28,960 Speaker 1: about wanting to commit suicide. 758 00:36:28,400 --> 00:36:31,640 Speaker 2: And then winning gold in the pool and just fast. 759 00:36:31,520 --> 00:36:36,000 Speaker 1: It's amazing how you can go like something so uncomfortable 760 00:36:36,480 --> 00:36:38,759 Speaker 1: can end up being And it's exactly what you talk 761 00:36:38,800 --> 00:36:40,600 Speaker 1: about in your book as well, can not being the 762 00:36:40,640 --> 00:36:45,200 Speaker 1: greatest gift for keeping you, for necessarily keeping you, but 763 00:36:45,280 --> 00:36:47,080 Speaker 1: maybe helping you on your journey. 764 00:36:47,200 --> 00:36:51,560 Speaker 4: I believe anyway, absolutely, because now I'm aware of something 765 00:36:51,640 --> 00:36:52,800 Speaker 4: I wasn't aware of before. 766 00:36:53,320 --> 00:36:54,640 Speaker 2: Yeah, and you can work on it. 767 00:36:54,680 --> 00:36:58,200 Speaker 1: And like you mentioned earlier on like words are powerful, right, 768 00:36:58,280 --> 00:37:01,200 Speaker 1: and so by verbalized and working on it. 769 00:37:01,239 --> 00:37:06,080 Speaker 2: There's so much healing to be done there. I've seen 770 00:37:06,160 --> 00:37:08,840 Speaker 2: you talk and I love this. I wrote it down highlight. 771 00:37:08,880 --> 00:37:09,359 Speaker 2: I love this. 772 00:37:10,239 --> 00:37:14,440 Speaker 1: And you've said soul needs a tune up. So your 773 00:37:14,440 --> 00:37:16,440 Speaker 1: soul needs a tune up. What do you mean when 774 00:37:16,480 --> 00:37:17,960 Speaker 1: you say the soul needs to tune up? Because I 775 00:37:18,040 --> 00:37:19,400 Speaker 1: love you should write. 776 00:37:19,200 --> 00:37:19,800 Speaker 2: A book called that. 777 00:37:19,920 --> 00:37:27,520 Speaker 4: By the way, you, I think adversity, I think suffering. 778 00:37:28,400 --> 00:37:31,960 Speaker 3: I think hardship are good for the soul. I think 779 00:37:32,040 --> 00:37:34,000 Speaker 3: that that's good for the soul because you don't get 780 00:37:34,040 --> 00:37:36,200 Speaker 3: to know who you really are unless you've been through something. 781 00:37:36,760 --> 00:37:40,560 Speaker 4: So for me, that's a tune up. I think sometimes 782 00:37:40,560 --> 00:37:42,960 Speaker 4: you need to be reminded, you know. That's why I 783 00:37:42,960 --> 00:37:47,000 Speaker 4: tell people like I don't I'm always looking for the 784 00:37:47,040 --> 00:37:50,200 Speaker 4: next lesson. I mean, I try to be as president 785 00:37:50,200 --> 00:37:53,799 Speaker 4: as I can, but I also know that it's the opposition. 786 00:37:53,960 --> 00:37:56,839 Speaker 4: It's those things that really really shape you, inform you, 787 00:37:56,920 --> 00:37:59,480 Speaker 4: and you discover new things about yourself. So that's what 788 00:37:59,520 --> 00:38:03,680 Speaker 4: I mean by I think adversity is a tune up 789 00:38:03,719 --> 00:38:05,560 Speaker 4: to the soul, because I think we need to know 790 00:38:05,600 --> 00:38:06,880 Speaker 4: how powerful and strong we are. 791 00:38:06,920 --> 00:38:08,560 Speaker 3: You don't know how strong you are until you go 792 00:38:08,640 --> 00:38:09,160 Speaker 3: through something. 793 00:38:09,600 --> 00:38:12,920 Speaker 4: You don't know what resilience is until you have to 794 00:38:12,960 --> 00:38:16,040 Speaker 4: be resilient, you know. And those are those And if 795 00:38:16,040 --> 00:38:17,640 Speaker 4: you think about it, anybody who's. 796 00:38:17,360 --> 00:38:19,400 Speaker 3: Lived the dynamic life, no matter who you look up to, 797 00:38:19,440 --> 00:38:22,719 Speaker 3: the celebrity with whomever, they've been through some stuff and 798 00:38:22,800 --> 00:38:25,440 Speaker 3: so that that's the stuff that. 799 00:38:25,520 --> 00:38:27,839 Speaker 4: Forms you and makes you who you are. That's what 800 00:38:27,880 --> 00:38:32,000 Speaker 4: I mean by the soul to them. Anytime we you know, when. 801 00:38:31,840 --> 00:38:34,520 Speaker 3: We want to graduate to a new level, our soul 802 00:38:34,719 --> 00:38:35,359 Speaker 3: is tuned up. 803 00:38:36,239 --> 00:38:36,839 Speaker 2: I love it. 804 00:38:36,920 --> 00:38:37,360 Speaker 3: I love it. 805 00:38:37,400 --> 00:38:39,360 Speaker 2: I love it. That's going to be my new mantra. 806 00:38:40,480 --> 00:38:41,080 Speaker 3: I love it. 807 00:38:41,160 --> 00:38:44,400 Speaker 2: Thank you. I can't believe how quick this goes. Like 808 00:38:44,440 --> 00:38:44,840 Speaker 2: I said, I. 809 00:38:44,800 --> 00:38:49,320 Speaker 1: Could talk to you all day long for anybody listening 810 00:38:49,440 --> 00:38:53,120 Speaker 1: right now. Again, like I said, this is about failing, 811 00:38:53,200 --> 00:38:55,640 Speaker 1: but it's also about celebrating that exactly the way you 812 00:38:55,680 --> 00:38:59,520 Speaker 1: just spoke about adversity. For anyone listening that might not 813 00:38:59,560 --> 00:39:01,759 Speaker 1: have been to therapist, may not have been to a 814 00:39:01,800 --> 00:39:03,320 Speaker 1: life coach, may not have been. 815 00:39:03,160 --> 00:39:03,720 Speaker 2: To a healer. 816 00:39:03,760 --> 00:39:05,760 Speaker 1: I've heard you being referred to as a healer before. 817 00:39:06,800 --> 00:39:09,200 Speaker 1: What advice would you have for people listening as a 818 00:39:09,200 --> 00:39:11,920 Speaker 1: little like takeaway if they're like, yeah, I feel a 819 00:39:11,960 --> 00:39:16,080 Speaker 1: bit stuck, And yeah, I guess I'm not like a 820 00:39:16,120 --> 00:39:18,839 Speaker 1: lot of people kind of like feel a bit met. 821 00:39:19,239 --> 00:39:21,600 Speaker 1: I don't know what word to use that, but. 822 00:39:21,480 --> 00:39:22,759 Speaker 3: What I know, I know what you mean. 823 00:39:23,040 --> 00:39:24,080 Speaker 2: Yeah, what advice for. 824 00:39:24,120 --> 00:39:25,919 Speaker 1: People that just they want a bit of a shake 825 00:39:26,000 --> 00:39:27,400 Speaker 1: up and they want to be able to take a 826 00:39:27,440 --> 00:39:29,680 Speaker 1: bit more control or feel a bit more empowered in 827 00:39:29,719 --> 00:39:30,760 Speaker 1: their lives. 828 00:39:31,320 --> 00:39:33,120 Speaker 4: Well, one of the things I think is so important 829 00:39:33,200 --> 00:39:37,040 Speaker 4: is the awareness. Right, So I always say this. I said, 830 00:39:37,160 --> 00:39:39,520 Speaker 4: you know, no one is born ill equipped, They're just 831 00:39:39,520 --> 00:39:43,240 Speaker 4: born ill informed, right, And so I always informed. Whenever 832 00:39:43,280 --> 00:39:46,279 Speaker 4: I speak, I'm informing everyone listening right now, you have 833 00:39:46,480 --> 00:39:49,040 Speaker 4: what you need to make it through your life. No 834 00:39:49,080 --> 00:39:51,879 Speaker 4: one has to give you anything you already possess. It 835 00:39:51,960 --> 00:39:54,839 Speaker 4: is up to you to believe it, to receive it, 836 00:39:54,920 --> 00:39:57,799 Speaker 4: and to access it. But I'm telling you you have 837 00:39:58,000 --> 00:40:00,480 Speaker 4: everything you need to make it through this life, for 838 00:40:00,560 --> 00:40:02,480 Speaker 4: you to thrive, for you to become who was supposed 839 00:40:02,480 --> 00:40:04,799 Speaker 4: to be. And so that to me, I always want 840 00:40:04,840 --> 00:40:08,560 Speaker 4: to leave people feeling empowered. You don't like anything, you're 841 00:40:08,600 --> 00:40:12,520 Speaker 4: just not accessing the things. You don't like anything, it's 842 00:40:12,560 --> 00:40:14,480 Speaker 4: just not accessing the things. 843 00:40:15,200 --> 00:40:17,719 Speaker 1: And if people wanted to find a bit more access 844 00:40:17,760 --> 00:40:20,640 Speaker 1: to that and feel that sense of purpose a bit more. 845 00:40:21,160 --> 00:40:24,280 Speaker 1: Is it, Like, I know you're big into mindfulness and movement, 846 00:40:24,719 --> 00:40:30,720 Speaker 1: and what are some of the basic steps or things 847 00:40:30,719 --> 00:40:32,240 Speaker 1: that they can do to kind of feel a little 848 00:40:32,239 --> 00:40:33,239 Speaker 1: bit more connected to that. 849 00:40:34,360 --> 00:40:36,279 Speaker 4: Well, you know, one of the things that I did 850 00:40:36,840 --> 00:40:38,759 Speaker 4: when I was in that space is that I had 851 00:40:38,760 --> 00:40:41,200 Speaker 4: my friends do like this session of like a love 852 00:40:41,239 --> 00:40:43,640 Speaker 4: fest right where they even tell me things about me 853 00:40:43,880 --> 00:40:46,279 Speaker 4: that I didn't know about myself or And I think 854 00:40:46,320 --> 00:40:48,440 Speaker 4: that's important. I think it's important for us to hear 855 00:40:48,520 --> 00:40:51,440 Speaker 4: from our peers, from people who are objective enough, who 856 00:40:51,520 --> 00:40:54,360 Speaker 4: love us but can be objected and say like, yo, Lola. 857 00:40:54,160 --> 00:40:56,680 Speaker 3: I think you have this and that, and you're like, 858 00:40:56,719 --> 00:40:58,520 Speaker 3: oh my god, I didn't know I had that. Right. 859 00:40:58,560 --> 00:40:59,480 Speaker 3: It's just that affirming. 860 00:40:59,600 --> 00:41:03,280 Speaker 4: Everyone needs to be a firm right, And I think 861 00:41:03,520 --> 00:41:04,759 Speaker 4: I think that's important. 862 00:41:04,960 --> 00:41:05,280 Speaker 2: Now. 863 00:41:05,760 --> 00:41:09,240 Speaker 3: The balance is is that you don't You don't depend 864 00:41:09,360 --> 00:41:12,719 Speaker 3: on Lola to every for every step. You just have 865 00:41:12,760 --> 00:41:13,760 Speaker 3: to believe what Lola. 866 00:41:13,640 --> 00:41:18,240 Speaker 2: Said, m love fest it. 867 00:41:18,200 --> 00:41:22,560 Speaker 4: Yeah, engage, Yeah, that's what you know, because we don't 868 00:41:22,320 --> 00:41:23,840 Speaker 4: we don't heal by ourselves. 869 00:41:23,880 --> 00:41:24,520 Speaker 3: It's a community. 870 00:41:24,520 --> 00:41:27,359 Speaker 4: It's a communal effort, and so, like, you know, even 871 00:41:27,360 --> 00:41:29,960 Speaker 4: though it's a journey that you have to take mostly 872 00:41:30,000 --> 00:41:33,200 Speaker 4: by yourself, but for the most part, you know, for 873 00:41:33,280 --> 00:41:35,640 Speaker 4: the most part, but it is a communal thing because 874 00:41:35,719 --> 00:41:37,680 Speaker 4: you have you have to have people who wish you 875 00:41:37,760 --> 00:41:40,319 Speaker 4: well in this journal. You got to have your cheerleaders, 876 00:41:40,719 --> 00:41:42,520 Speaker 4: and so, like, I think that's one of those things, 877 00:41:42,520 --> 00:41:45,680 Speaker 4: like I always have my clans and said, yo, go talk. 878 00:41:45,520 --> 00:41:48,520 Speaker 3: To your wife and ask her to name ten. 879 00:41:48,320 --> 00:41:50,799 Speaker 4: Things about you that she loves that that you don't 880 00:41:50,880 --> 00:41:54,240 Speaker 4: recognize about yourself. And he's always, you know, whatever that happens, 881 00:41:54,239 --> 00:41:55,200 Speaker 4: they're always shocked. 882 00:41:55,680 --> 00:41:58,879 Speaker 1: Really, I love that we stop my boyfriend, I start 883 00:41:58,920 --> 00:42:01,000 Speaker 1: the day where we before we get out of there, 884 00:42:01,080 --> 00:42:03,239 Speaker 1: we go, what are three things we're grateful for? And 885 00:42:03,280 --> 00:42:04,920 Speaker 1: when we go to bed that night, what are three 886 00:42:05,000 --> 00:42:08,040 Speaker 1: things we're grateful for? And it's amazing how it sounds 887 00:42:08,040 --> 00:42:09,239 Speaker 1: so simple and almost. 888 00:42:09,000 --> 00:42:11,879 Speaker 3: Sounds it expands right. 889 00:42:12,280 --> 00:42:16,839 Speaker 1: Yeah, and there's this we always catch ourselves going, oh, 890 00:42:16,880 --> 00:42:20,080 Speaker 1: how lucky are we? Like we feel so and it's 891 00:42:20,239 --> 00:42:21,880 Speaker 1: it's I think I've heard an injury where you go 892 00:42:21,920 --> 00:42:24,080 Speaker 1: what you put out is eventually what you bring back. 893 00:42:23,920 --> 00:42:24,600 Speaker 2: In as well. 894 00:42:24,920 --> 00:42:29,200 Speaker 3: Yeah, absolutely, Yeah, it's so you want love, if you 895 00:42:29,280 --> 00:42:32,400 Speaker 3: want love, be love. Yeah, if you want you know, 896 00:42:32,480 --> 00:42:34,880 Speaker 3: if you want friends, be a friend. You know, like 897 00:42:35,040 --> 00:42:36,720 Speaker 3: it's that simple. 898 00:42:37,520 --> 00:42:39,560 Speaker 2: What's your take on fear. I feel like there's a 899 00:42:39,600 --> 00:42:43,560 Speaker 2: lot of fear right now in the world. 900 00:42:43,600 --> 00:42:46,359 Speaker 1: Like, oh, even in meetings that will be you'll get 901 00:42:46,360 --> 00:42:48,400 Speaker 1: timelines of work things and they're like, oh, we're just 902 00:42:48,440 --> 00:42:50,840 Speaker 1: going to push this a couple of months because. 903 00:42:50,680 --> 00:42:52,440 Speaker 2: We don't know what's happening in the world. 904 00:42:52,560 --> 00:42:56,200 Speaker 1: And and you can feel and especially I mentioned earlier, 905 00:42:56,239 --> 00:42:59,680 Speaker 1: we've gone into our third lockdown here in Victoria. And 906 00:42:59,719 --> 00:43:02,680 Speaker 1: even when you go to the supermarket the moment they 907 00:43:02,800 --> 00:43:06,359 Speaker 1: announced that third lockdown, the shells were empty. 908 00:43:06,400 --> 00:43:07,520 Speaker 2: Or the meat was gone. 909 00:43:08,080 --> 00:43:10,239 Speaker 1: It looked it looked like it had been just like 910 00:43:10,440 --> 00:43:13,000 Speaker 1: completely cleared out, and you could just feel that, you 911 00:43:13,040 --> 00:43:15,560 Speaker 1: could feel the fear in the air. 912 00:43:18,480 --> 00:43:21,279 Speaker 4: I think fear, oftentimes it has to do with the 913 00:43:21,320 --> 00:43:27,200 Speaker 4: absence or the perceived absence of control. Yeah, and I 914 00:43:27,239 --> 00:43:30,600 Speaker 4: think for many of us, we feel like we're in control, 915 00:43:30,680 --> 00:43:31,520 Speaker 4: but we're really not. 916 00:43:32,719 --> 00:43:34,480 Speaker 3: In controls we think we are because. 917 00:43:34,280 --> 00:43:35,759 Speaker 4: I think I see the moment you leave your house, 918 00:43:35,800 --> 00:43:39,439 Speaker 4: you're out of control. The moment you leave your house, 919 00:43:39,520 --> 00:43:41,120 Speaker 4: You're out of control and. 920 00:43:41,200 --> 00:43:42,880 Speaker 3: You know what I mean? And it takes faith again. 921 00:43:43,040 --> 00:43:44,160 Speaker 3: You know, on a plane, you don't know if that 922 00:43:44,160 --> 00:43:44,919 Speaker 3: plane is on land. 923 00:43:44,920 --> 00:43:46,319 Speaker 4: You're getting your car, you don't know if you get 924 00:43:46,520 --> 00:43:48,880 Speaker 4: like you know, But in our minds, we think that 925 00:43:49,040 --> 00:43:52,080 Speaker 4: we have some sense of control, and so I think 926 00:43:52,320 --> 00:43:57,920 Speaker 4: fear oftentimes is it's it's the sense of the comfort 927 00:43:58,040 --> 00:43:59,160 Speaker 4: zone being taken away. 928 00:44:00,040 --> 00:44:00,360 Speaker 2: Mhm. 929 00:44:00,760 --> 00:44:03,280 Speaker 3: It's the sense of control being taken away. 930 00:44:04,000 --> 00:44:08,560 Speaker 4: And so I always ask myself when I'm finn feel. 931 00:44:10,120 --> 00:44:11,440 Speaker 3: What do you feel like you're. 932 00:44:11,280 --> 00:44:14,080 Speaker 4: Not in control of or what sense of comfort is 933 00:44:14,120 --> 00:44:16,960 Speaker 4: being taken away? And a lot of times when people 934 00:44:17,000 --> 00:44:20,680 Speaker 4: aren't able to forgive is because they've been so comfortable 935 00:44:20,719 --> 00:44:22,040 Speaker 4: holding a grudge against this person. 936 00:44:22,600 --> 00:44:24,320 Speaker 2: Wow, yeah, comfort. 937 00:44:24,920 --> 00:44:26,360 Speaker 1: Do you know one thing I did that was a 938 00:44:26,400 --> 00:44:28,520 Speaker 1: great lesson in fear and control? 939 00:44:28,600 --> 00:44:31,239 Speaker 2: I skydived. I jumped out of a plane. 940 00:44:32,360 --> 00:44:36,120 Speaker 3: Exactly, And you have to give up that. 941 00:44:36,480 --> 00:44:38,680 Speaker 4: A lot of life coaches do that with their claims 942 00:44:38,840 --> 00:44:42,719 Speaker 4: because you recognize that you're really not in control. I 943 00:44:42,760 --> 00:44:45,360 Speaker 4: can go to the store and not come back, you 944 00:44:45,360 --> 00:44:47,920 Speaker 4: know what I mean, Like that's just the reality. 945 00:44:48,600 --> 00:44:52,239 Speaker 3: But I don't have fear about that. Why then I. 946 00:44:52,280 --> 00:44:54,759 Speaker 4: Have fear when you when you tell me, oh, we're 947 00:44:54,800 --> 00:44:56,480 Speaker 4: all locked down and all of. 948 00:44:56,480 --> 00:44:59,719 Speaker 3: A sudden, oh my god, I'm you know what I'm saying, 949 00:45:00,200 --> 00:45:04,480 Speaker 3: You got to apply like what what are you? What 950 00:45:04,480 --> 00:45:06,480 Speaker 3: do you? What is what is seeming like out of 951 00:45:06,520 --> 00:45:09,920 Speaker 3: your control? And what comfort is being taken away? Yeah, 952 00:45:10,000 --> 00:45:10,480 Speaker 3: and this is. 953 00:45:10,440 --> 00:45:12,560 Speaker 4: By asking that and then getting to the heart of that, 954 00:45:12,880 --> 00:45:14,640 Speaker 4: and once you can address it, then I feel like 955 00:45:14,719 --> 00:45:17,319 Speaker 4: it kind of subsizes a little bit totally. Yeah, saying 956 00:45:17,360 --> 00:45:20,800 Speaker 4: be concerned, be concerned and being fearful of two different things. 957 00:45:20,960 --> 00:45:23,200 Speaker 1: Very I was going to say, it almost feels like 958 00:45:23,280 --> 00:45:25,359 Speaker 1: fear is a constrain of the mind, a little bit 959 00:45:25,400 --> 00:45:28,200 Speaker 1: like timey is when we put these plans and timelines 960 00:45:28,600 --> 00:45:30,800 Speaker 1: on ourselves. It's like that just feels like a constrain 961 00:45:30,840 --> 00:45:32,600 Speaker 1: of the mind. It's like there has to be the 962 00:45:32,719 --> 00:45:34,759 Speaker 1: sense of and I keep wanting to come back to this. 963 00:45:35,280 --> 00:45:40,640 Speaker 1: You say faith and trust, and like, yeah, that's. 964 00:45:40,560 --> 00:45:43,279 Speaker 3: Where it comes to surrender that they trust surrendered. That's 965 00:45:43,280 --> 00:45:44,960 Speaker 3: when it comes into play, like, all right, this is 966 00:45:44,960 --> 00:45:46,799 Speaker 3: bigger than me. I can't handle it. I'm just gonna 967 00:45:46,840 --> 00:45:49,480 Speaker 3: trust you know what I mean, Because it's really that. 968 00:45:50,080 --> 00:45:53,160 Speaker 4: Yeah, because everything, everything can't be figured out in your mind. 969 00:45:53,239 --> 00:45:54,680 Speaker 4: Sometimes you got to just be like, I don't know 970 00:45:54,880 --> 00:45:56,840 Speaker 4: and be comfortable with I don't know, but I trust it. 971 00:45:56,840 --> 00:45:59,239 Speaker 4: I'm going to get through this and that's okay. 972 00:46:00,160 --> 00:46:02,600 Speaker 1: That's powerful though, the moment that you can do that, 973 00:46:02,600 --> 00:46:05,719 Speaker 1: that's that's very empowering, I think. 974 00:46:05,719 --> 00:46:08,200 Speaker 4: But I think sometimes we're forced in those positions to 975 00:46:08,280 --> 00:46:09,439 Speaker 4: get to that place. 976 00:46:09,880 --> 00:46:14,800 Speaker 2: Like this, like COVID Like. 977 00:46:12,520 --> 00:46:18,359 Speaker 1: Yeah, totally okay, So if people want to, I know, 978 00:46:18,400 --> 00:46:19,960 Speaker 1: I'm going to put all the links so people can 979 00:46:20,080 --> 00:46:21,920 Speaker 1: learn about you. I'm going to post about your on Instagram. 980 00:46:22,000 --> 00:46:25,600 Speaker 1: All good, But what's next for you? What's next for purpose? 981 00:46:25,680 --> 00:46:25,759 Speaker 3: Like? 982 00:46:25,800 --> 00:46:28,480 Speaker 2: What can we learn? Yeah? 983 00:46:28,760 --> 00:46:32,440 Speaker 4: Still a school university has confected me. They wanted me 984 00:46:32,520 --> 00:46:35,080 Speaker 4: to teach a course to like income in freshmen. 985 00:46:34,760 --> 00:46:38,000 Speaker 3: On how to like thrive thriving, how to thrive in 986 00:46:38,080 --> 00:46:41,640 Speaker 3: college and things like that. Wow. Really, so I don't know. 987 00:46:41,840 --> 00:46:43,719 Speaker 4: I mean, like, I definitely I would love to come 988 00:46:43,719 --> 00:46:47,200 Speaker 4: back to Australia. I want to travel. I want to 989 00:46:47,200 --> 00:46:50,120 Speaker 4: travel and go all around the world. Just talking about 990 00:46:50,120 --> 00:46:51,520 Speaker 4: what I want to talk about. 991 00:46:51,840 --> 00:46:52,759 Speaker 2: I love it. 992 00:46:52,680 --> 00:46:56,080 Speaker 1: And I'm sure you absolutely will, my friend. It's been 993 00:46:56,120 --> 00:46:59,000 Speaker 1: a total honor to have you on this podcast. 994 00:46:58,520 --> 00:46:59,960 Speaker 2: Today and thank you. 995 00:47:00,000 --> 00:47:02,520 Speaker 1: Thank you so much for sharing so much of yourself 996 00:47:02,600 --> 00:47:03,880 Speaker 1: with us. 997 00:47:03,920 --> 00:47:08,919 Speaker 3: Thank you so much for being so awesome. Big love, NYE. 998 00:47:11,440 --> 00:47:17,080 Speaker 1: That's a wrap on another episode of Fearlessly Failing. As always, 999 00:47:17,239 --> 00:47:20,600 Speaker 1: thank you to our guests, and let's continue the conversation 1000 00:47:20,760 --> 00:47:26,520 Speaker 1: on Instagram. I'm at Yamo Lollaberry. This potty my word 1001 00:47:26,560 --> 00:47:31,319 Speaker 1: for podcast is available on all streaming platforms. I'd love 1002 00:47:31,320 --> 00:47:34,400 Speaker 1: it if you could subscribe, rate and comment and of 1003 00:47:34,480 --> 00:47:36,000 Speaker 1: course spread the love.