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Speaker 1: Hello, and welcome to Outspoken. It's a very special episode,

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Speaker 1: and I am getting deja vous because I literally just

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Speaker 1: recorded the same episode Amy with you a couple.

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Speaker 2: Of weeks ago.

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Speaker 1: Sophie, you were also pregnant eight weeks out from Amy.

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Speaker 1: I feel like this is a bit old hat, like

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Speaker 1: I keep having to announce it to people and then

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Speaker 1: I'm like, sorry, this really isn't that interesting. I think

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Speaker 1: there's a lot of questions about whether you guys planned

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Speaker 1: your pregnancies to be this close together. I mean, it

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Speaker 1: was a shock for me because I've just got back

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Speaker 1: from maternity leave, and I feel like I was left

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Speaker 1: out of a lot of things, Like you guys were

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Speaker 1: off doing your thing and I was at home, and

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Speaker 1: when you guys announced me that you're both pregnant, I

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Speaker 1: was like, oh my god, am I going to be

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Speaker 1: just doing some monologue for the podcast. But we are

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Speaker 1: in discussions. The podcast will still keep running. We're working

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Speaker 1: out what that's going to look like. The ironic thing

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Speaker 1: is that if you rewind to our weddings earlier this year,

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Speaker 1: our weddings were two months apart, and now we're having

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Speaker 1: children two months apart. The honeymoon babies well, no, no,

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Speaker 1: if they weren't, I was pregnant on my honeymoon, which

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Speaker 1: probably wasn't a good idea. Like I thought, Oh, I'm

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Speaker 1: going to feel so good in my bathers, I'm gonna

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Speaker 1: be so fit, And it was the very early stages.

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Speaker 1: But it's those stages where you were so bloated, like

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Speaker 1: it's not even a baby bump. You were just disgustingly

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Speaker 1: bloated and uncomfortable. I hate to say it, but I

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Speaker 1: warned you because I was already pregnant. When you warned me, no, no,

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Speaker 1: you weren't. You went at all. What well I was trying? Yeah, yeah,

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Speaker 1: I said to you. I knew you were trying, and

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Speaker 1: I said, look, so, to be honest, being pregnant is

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Speaker 1: actually fucking shit in the first trimester, and you do

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Speaker 1: not want to be pregnant on your honeymoon. I'd wait

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Speaker 1: and try and conceive the baby on the honey To

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Speaker 1: be honest, I mean, apart from maybe feeling slightly unconfident

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Speaker 1: in my bathers, I actually have been lucky that I

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Speaker 1: seemed to turn a corner on my honeymoon and I

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Speaker 1: felt a lot better and more like myself. When I

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Speaker 1: first found out. I don't know if it was mental

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Speaker 1: or what. I felt like shit, Like no, I it

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Speaker 1: wasn't like I had a terrible headache. Sophie, You're not

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Speaker 1: really a glass half full kind of person. You're a

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Speaker 1: glass And do you type a person from someone who's

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Speaker 1: been through it eight weeks earlier? To Sophie, I felt

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Speaker 1: like shit. I feel like anybody who says that they

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Speaker 1: feel like she should be listened to because it's seen

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Speaker 1: a terrible period. It's ring of all these people having

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Speaker 1: these huge naps during the day, I suppose people working

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Speaker 1: from home. I didn't have any of that. I pushed

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Speaker 1: through it, which probably didn't help. And we're very social people.

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Speaker 1: We're out a lot of or not use so much anymore, Kate,

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Speaker 1: because you have a child, but you know this is

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Speaker 1: our last harah six months to enjoy it. But we're

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Speaker 1: out most nights with friends or doing stuff. So I

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Speaker 1: just kept pushing myself. And it's not like I could

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Speaker 1: say to my friends, I'm fucking tired. I can't, isn't it.

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Speaker 1: A lot of people say, yeah, that you can't even

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Speaker 1: complain about it or explain why maybe you look so tired,

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Speaker 1: and the whole thing is because as soon as I

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Speaker 1: found out I was pregnant, I found TikTok a really

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Speaker 1: great place to go to because I found that a

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Speaker 1: lot of women would pre record moments from the first

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Speaker 1: trimester and talk about like the cravings they were having

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Speaker 1: or whether they were feeling like shit. And for me,

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Speaker 1: I wanted to know straight away what the gender is

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Speaker 1: because I mean, you guys are having boys. Growing up

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Speaker 1: as girls, I've always thought one day I really want

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Speaker 1: to have a girl. So I was so like, oh, like,

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Speaker 1: I want to look into what the cravings are for

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Speaker 1: a girl. I straight away knew that I was having

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Speaker 1: a boy, which wives tail old wives tails aren't well.

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Speaker 1: They said that if you're having a boy, you absolutely

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Speaker 1: crave salty food. All they wanted to eat was two

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Speaker 1: minute noodles and chips. And I got my cravings. I

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Speaker 1: think yours were because you did do a gender reveal,

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Speaker 1: and Amy and I got our cakes from the same person,

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Speaker 1: but you wanted to be different. You got a different one,

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Speaker 1: and you went and picked the cake up and you

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Speaker 1: rang me and you were like, oh my god, it's

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Speaker 1: got blue specks in the ice. Please. It was a

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Speaker 1: vintage love heart cake that had white icing, and it

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Speaker 1: had blue and pink love hearts on it, and within

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Speaker 1: the icing it looked like there was black. It was

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Speaker 1: and I was like, it was vanilla, vanilla bean, I

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Speaker 1: told you. But the cake lady said that she was

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Speaker 1: either going to bake like a blue or pink cake,

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Speaker 1: and I thought, maybe she hasn't done that. It was

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Speaker 1: clearly black having a melt done because it was a boy.

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Speaker 1: I was having a melt done because I didn't want

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Speaker 1: the surprise to be that. Yet you continue to like

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Speaker 1: look at the cake with a microscope, and I said, Sophie,

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Speaker 1: this a similar thing happened to me. There was a

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Speaker 1: little bit of pink on the icing, and I was like,

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Speaker 1: definitely a girl. And that's why when I pulled out

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Speaker 1: the blue I was like, what Dale said, There's no

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Speaker 1: way that Sophie hasn't looked in the envelope before we

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Speaker 1: went to the gender Ville. I said, honestly, she doesn't know.

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Speaker 1: I said, she really doesn't need Even Brandon was worried

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Speaker 1: that she was peaking. In the end, Sophie's not known

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Speaker 1: for keeping secrets, didn't he say, Like you asked him, like, oh,

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Speaker 1: so have you thought of any more? Boys' names, and

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Speaker 1: he's like, you've looked in the envelope, haven't you. I

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Speaker 1: promise I didn't know. It's funny because I was speaking

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Speaker 1: to some older relatives who had no idea about a

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Speaker 1: gender reveal, Like I think there's like that group of

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Speaker 1: people who were like, oh, I didn't even know you

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Speaker 1: could find out the gender. They never did that back

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Speaker 1: in our day. Well they did because they didn't have

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Speaker 1: the technology. And they're like, how does it work? So

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Speaker 1: do you know beforehand? And then you tell the baker.

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Speaker 1: I'm like, no, you just collect an end. But some

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Speaker 1: people would do. Some people actually they just find out

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Speaker 1: privately with their partner and then they have it as

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Speaker 1: a surprise for the family, which, in hindsight, that's probably

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Speaker 1: quite a nice idea. Only when I was finding out together,

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Speaker 1: my hand was shaking. I cut the I was supposed

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Speaker 1: to cut like a nice, big fat piece of cake.

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Speaker 1: To make the I cut the smallest piece. You could

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Speaker 1: barely pull it out.

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Speaker 2: I just knew from your face because I saw so.

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Speaker 1: My advice to Sophie was close your eyes when you

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Speaker 1: pulled the knife out, because what happened was when I

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Speaker 1: cut into mind and pulled the knife out. I saw

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Speaker 1: the blue and not to pretend, So I didn't have

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Speaker 1: much of a reaction in my video because I'd already knew.

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Speaker 1: And then yeah, and then in mind I had red jams,

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Speaker 1: so I was like really confused. So then Sophie cut

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Speaker 1: the smallest piece and she went to pick it up

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Speaker 1: with the cake server and it all crumbled. But I

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Speaker 1: saw her face and I was like, it's a boy.

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Speaker 1: I like had my hands over. It was more that

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Speaker 1: I just couldn't believe that we were all having boys.

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Speaker 1: What is going on? Like from growing up in the

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Speaker 1: household where everything's girly, we never had to watch boys stuff. Like.

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Speaker 1: I was so excited because I know, originally you wanted

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Speaker 1: a girl, and I think we all have said I've

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Speaker 1: been on the record and said I want a girl.

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Speaker 1: Now that I have a boy, I'm like, I could

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Speaker 1: not imagine my life without a boy. Absolutely love him.

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Speaker 1: I love being a boy, Mum. I know you guys

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Speaker 1: are going to love it. And when it was a boy,

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Speaker 1: I was so excited because they're all just going to

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Speaker 1: get along. So well, we keep calling them the triplets. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: well you've been saying, Kate, how they're going to be

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Speaker 1: actually biologically like half siblings. Yes, So I don't want

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Speaker 1: to get into the specifics because I was talking to

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Speaker 1: my uncle who is a GP, and I was like, oh, yeah,

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Speaker 1: apparently genetically they're like half siblings. And he looked at

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Speaker 1: me as if I was on crack and I'm like, no, no,

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Speaker 1: it's true. And how you asked me to explain it?

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Speaker 2: And I feel uncomfortable ela to a doctor, can you

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Speaker 2: explain it to me?

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Speaker 1: But yeah, so the way I explained it is it

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Speaker 1: would essentially be like if I had a baby with

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Speaker 1: rhys Dale and Brandon. So the DNA from me is

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Speaker 1: the same, but the DNA from the husband's is different.

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Speaker 1: And I have clarire Jesse Stevens talking about that that

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Speaker 1: their children are technically half seas. Yeah. Yeah, so I

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Speaker 1: actually have a prediction that all of the boys are

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Speaker 1: going to look like their dads and we're going to

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Speaker 1: grow up with basically Reesdale and Brandon's minimes. I do

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Speaker 1: hope that the child looks a little bit like me.

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Speaker 1: I feel like i'd be fair if it was half

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Speaker 1: half because as the woman you do so much to

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Speaker 1: the heavy lifting, you have to be pregnant, you have

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Speaker 1: to mostly stereotypically take time off work, but seems like

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Speaker 1: a biological thing. It makes sense as women, we get

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Speaker 1: to bond with the baby during the nine months of

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Speaker 1: being pregnant, and then when the baby comes out and

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Speaker 1: it looks like the dad, they're going to have more

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Speaker 1: of an affiliation and connection and bond with the baby

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Speaker 1: quicker if it looks like So if I want to know,

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Speaker 1: how did you break this news to Brandon? Well, because

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Speaker 1: it was planned. I feel like Brandon obviously had some

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Speaker 1: idea and he knew that my period was coming on

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Speaker 1: a certain day, so I was like, I want to

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Speaker 1: still announce it in acute way, like it's not going

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Speaker 1: to be the biggest surprise. So he goes for port Power,

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Speaker 1: which is a footage thing. I need to interject, so vi,

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Speaker 1: they haven't been port Power for about fifteen years. It's

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Speaker 1: port Adelaide. Yeah, I don't really care. Brown and gets

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Speaker 1: so annoyed by like the port Power. I feel like

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Speaker 1: it's almost trolling them when I say it. But for context,

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Speaker 1: we grew up as massive Crow supporters who hated Port Adelaide. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so I'm probably going to kick myself in future years.

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Speaker 1: But I thought it'd be cute to buy him a

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Speaker 1: little port powered teddy bear that was my first teddy

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Speaker 1: Bear to give to the baby, as well as like

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Speaker 1: a mini football that's my first football, because I just

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Speaker 1: thought that would get him really excited about the news,

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Speaker 1: and I just thought it was a cute way to

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Speaker 1: do it. So basically, he came home and I had

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Speaker 1: it on the table ready to surprise him. So it

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Speaker 1: was nothing dramatic and huge, and what was his reaction?

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Speaker 1: Like he just couldn't believe it. He's like, this doesn't

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Speaker 1: feel real, Like I can't get my head around it.

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Speaker 1: I still find it hard to get my head around

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Speaker 1: the fact that both are you were pregnant at the

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Speaker 1: same time, and I'm a little bit jealous because you

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Speaker 1: guys are going to be able to spend maternity leave together.

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Speaker 1: A few of our friends have also just announced it

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Speaker 1: they're pregnant and they're having boys as well, which is exciting.

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Speaker 1: We've literally nearly got a basketball team. I think we

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Speaker 1: need like one more member to make the five. It

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Speaker 1: only starts to feel real though, when you feel the

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Speaker 1: baby kicking. So I'm at that stage where he's kicking

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Speaker 1: quite a lot, and I'm really excited so for you

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Speaker 1: to experience that, well, my placenta is at the front,

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Speaker 1: so I think it will take a little bit longer

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Speaker 1: for me to feel any kicks, which is quite interesting

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Speaker 1: because yours was at the front as well, and yours

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Speaker 1: is at the back. What is even weirder, Sophie, and

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Speaker 1: this is what really shocked me and kind of I

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Speaker 1: don't annoyed me a little bit, is that your due

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Speaker 1: date two days before Jack's due date, before his birthday. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: so essentially you're probably going to go into labor, I know,

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Speaker 1: two days before his birthday. So now selfishly, I'm like,

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Speaker 1: when am I holding my son's first birthday party? Because

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Speaker 1: I've been planning his first birthday party in my life.

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Speaker 1: If you're to have a baby on Jack's birthday, I know,

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Speaker 1: so I be getting in trouble with everyone. I'm getting

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Speaker 1: in trouble with you that it's too close to you.

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Speaker 1: I'm getting in trouble with you that's close to your

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Speaker 1: son's But I don't know issue would have been close.

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Speaker 1: I'm just concerned from a work perspective. But we are

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Speaker 1: in the process, as we said, of sorting that out.

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Speaker 1: It's so exciting, like we should be so grateful because

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Speaker 1: how amazing these kids are going to be so close

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Speaker 1: in age. Yeah, you're I was saying, they're the triplets,

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Speaker 1: like the boy triplets. Yeah, so Amy, your son is

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Speaker 1: going to be well, Jack will be ten months older

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Speaker 1: than your son and twelve months older than Sophie's and

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Speaker 1: then the boys will be Your.

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Speaker 2: Boys will be eight weeks apart.

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Speaker 1: Yeah. Well, I found out recently that my child is

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Speaker 1: either going to go to school with Jack or Sophie's child,

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Speaker 1: because the way that the years unfold for schooling, they're

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Speaker 1: not all going to be in the same year. So

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Speaker 1: it's either baby h is with Sophi or with joll.

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Speaker 1: Surely he'd be with mine if they're closer in it,

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Speaker 1: but it might be that Jack does a few terms

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Speaker 1: of reception.

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Speaker 2: Anyway, we'll hold him back so they can be in

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Speaker 2: the same year.

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Speaker 1: Hey, I think it's cool for you, Sophie because you

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Speaker 1: have someone in a sense to compare things to, because

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Speaker 1: I keep saying to you, well, exactly this time next year,

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Speaker 1: you're going to have a six month old like I have.

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Speaker 1: And yeah, it is kind of helpful the timeline.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, you can kind of track it along.

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Speaker 1: But the other thing is So my sister in law

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Speaker 1: is also having a baby in February, so it's just

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Speaker 1: going to be all these babies. We don't know the

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Speaker 1: gender she's waiting to find out. I'm hoping it's a

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Speaker 1: boy so that they not that they won't get along

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Speaker 1: if it's different genders, but it'd be quite cute anyway.

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Speaker 1: And but the thing that I don't like is that

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Speaker 1: I'm last to give birth, So I feel like I'm

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Speaker 1: going to hear all of these fucking horror stories and

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Speaker 1: it's going to freak me out. Like I'm going to

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Speaker 1: be heavily pregnant at the hospital Amy waiting for you,

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Speaker 1: just knowing that I'm going to be there, and I'm glad.

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Speaker 1: I'm actually so glad that I'm having the baby before

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Speaker 1: you because the song and dance that Sophie would have

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Speaker 1: put on maybe, So I'm like, I'm sorry, I think

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Speaker 1: anyone gets a bit nervous about child. No, I know,

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Speaker 1: but you just it's kind of like when you lined

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Speaker 1: up for to get it back saying at school, and

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Speaker 1: you wanted to be the first one to get it

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Speaker 1: over and done. Also, when you have a baby, every

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Speaker 1: milestone you hit, you feel like I've progressed, like, you know,

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Speaker 1: he doesn't need to be fed as many times overnight.

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Speaker 1: I've dropped that night feed, So you're always going to

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Speaker 1: be eight weeks ahead of Sophie and the Saren, and

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Speaker 1: then your sister in law is going to be is

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Speaker 1: four months ahead of you, so you're aways gonna hear.

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Speaker 2: Oh, you should be doing this.

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Speaker 1: Something I'm excited about is Sofi and I have been

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Speaker 1: discussing how we want to get some prammed, but the

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Speaker 1: ones that are connected, because yeah, the site of three

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Speaker 1: of us going for a walk with three separate prams,

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Speaker 1: I mean, that's just not going to work. So we

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Speaker 1: weren't kind of like, yeah, like some kind of joined PRAM.

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Speaker 1: But we were also saying that during work days, Sof

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Speaker 1: and I going to try and bring the babies together

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Speaker 1: because I know when we were little we slept really

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Speaker 1: well together because one you'd kind of wake up and

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Speaker 1: just sort of see each other and then fall back

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Speaker 1: to sleep. Like we kind of want to set up

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Speaker 1: like nurseries at our house so we can get work done.

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Speaker 1: But also, I mean we're on the same routine as well,

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Speaker 1: which I just bought a portcot so I can bring

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Speaker 1: Jack here.

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Speaker 2: Do you know what I want to know?

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Speaker 1: Would you be open to breastfeeding each other's kids because

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Speaker 1: you could be your own wetness. I found out that

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Speaker 1: my next door neighbor she had a baby on a

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Speaker 1: couple of months after me, and I was like, Jesus

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Speaker 1: if I was better friends.

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Speaker 2: With her because apparently she had an epic milkflow, like.

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Speaker 1: She said that that yeah, yeah, And so I was like, really, look,

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Speaker 1: why are we both waking up very look? Sof and

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Speaker 1: I aren't like Sarah's day at Christmas party. I'm not

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Speaker 1: going to be offering everyone to drink my breast milk?

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Speaker 2: Why not if you guys are genetically the same?

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Speaker 1: Sorry, but I think that you're going to have enough

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Speaker 1: strain in your body that you don't really feel like

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Speaker 1: feeding another child, like even if it is your nephew

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Speaker 1: both sides and then one. But I mean, from a

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Speaker 1: very limited experience in children, don't you feed them on

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Speaker 1: one and then the other? Okay, you're still going to

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Speaker 1: be breastfeeding at the time. Maybe would you be wetnes

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Speaker 1: breastfeeds children milk may have drawn up by then. I

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Speaker 1: don't know. I think that's a bit gross. Maybe I

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Speaker 1: could push it to when Amy, you get birth and

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Speaker 1: then you can start feeding you. I'll put this out

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Speaker 1: there because I can just imagine like someone picking up

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Speaker 1: on this being like triplets breastfeed theameid. No, we're not

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Speaker 1: doing that. That's a big no.

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Speaker 2: I think it's too fas.

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Speaker 1: Now. I also want to know, and I'm not trying

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Speaker 1: to stir trouble, but it probably will.

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Speaker 2: Are you going to be fighting over boys' names?

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Speaker 1: Well, we've both written up a bit of a list,

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Speaker 1: and there are some names that cross over, but I

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Speaker 1: think that the names that were really keen on aren't

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Speaker 1: the same.

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Speaker 2: Is it a first in best dress? So does Amy

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Speaker 2: have the one up on you?

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Speaker 1: Say, Amy, if there was a name that you both liked,

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Speaker 1: how are you gonna work that out? Well? I suppose

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Speaker 1: because I've thrown out names ahead of knowing that Sophie

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Speaker 1: was pregnant, I feel like she's been very respectful and

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Speaker 1: hasn't been targeting those names because it's quite funny because

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Speaker 1: when we found out you were having a boy, because

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Speaker 1: there was a little bit of stress because if I

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Speaker 1: was to go around two and had a girl, then

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Speaker 1: you potentially could have stolen some of the girls' names.

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Speaker 2: That I want, but we all like similar names.

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Speaker 1: I think a lot of people will be wondering, how

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Speaker 1: did you break the news to us, because obviously when

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Speaker 1: I told you, I told you on the podcast. I

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Speaker 1: told Kate separately. Well, the thing is that you guys

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Speaker 1: knew that I was trying. So I felt like it

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Speaker 1: was hard to make it a big surprise, and I

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Speaker 1: felt like you guys were cottoning on to the fact

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Speaker 1: that something was going on. There was a lot of

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Speaker 1: even at family dinners, it's like, oh, I bet that

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Speaker 1: Sophie's pregnant, Like there are all these comments. So I

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Speaker 1: felt like I had to tell you guys. Well, I

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Speaker 1: think everyone is when they're pregnant. So I decided to

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Speaker 1: tell you at six weeks because I thought, well, if

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Speaker 1: God for bid something happened, i'd want the support of

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Speaker 1: you guys anyway. So I ended up telling you and

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Speaker 1: my mum and at the same time at a little

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Speaker 1: cafe near our house, and I just pulled out a

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Speaker 1: toy and the pregnancy test, and then we thought, oh fuck,

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Speaker 1: we didn't tell Dad. He might be offended. So then

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Speaker 1: that night we had to pretend that we were telling

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Speaker 1: him at dinner, and then I told my in laws

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Speaker 1: the next day at my husband's birthday dinner. So we

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Speaker 1: came back to my house and we got a little

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Speaker 1: bandana for my dog Archie and it said big brother

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Speaker 1: on it, so we made him run out and see everyone.

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Speaker 1: So in terms of Archie, because he is your first son,

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Speaker 1: and yeah, you very much treat him like a child.

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Speaker 1: How are you feeling about integrating a baby into that. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: we were a bit nervous about it because Archie hasn't

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Speaker 1: really been around children heats. But I feel a lot

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Speaker 1: more confident now that he's been around Jack, and Jack

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Speaker 1: loves him, like they have a little cute bond going on.

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Speaker 1: I have Archie on my screensaver of my phone, and

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Speaker 1: every time I showed Jack, he just smiled at Archie.

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Speaker 1: So I'm really excited to see the bond that Archie

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Speaker 1: and the baby will have. Brandon has already been practicing,

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Speaker 1: so he has got a blanket and he'll get his

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Speaker 1: phone and search babies crying on YouTube, and he'll have

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Speaker 1: the phone in the blanket and see how Archie reacts,

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Speaker 1: just to try and get him used to that sound.

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Speaker 1: I mean, I'm sure with any animal, it's always going

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Speaker 1: to be difficult and like a slow process of helping

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Speaker 1: them bond and getting them used to it, because it's

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Speaker 1: a big change for everyone. See, if you ever want

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Speaker 1: a babysit Jack and get Archie used to crying or anything.

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Speaker 1: Let me know. Well, the thing is, I think because

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Speaker 1: the first time you ever brought Jack around, he was

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Speaker 1: so small, and Archie had never seen a baby, and

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Speaker 1: I think he was like, oh my god, what is that.

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Speaker 1: So when he's seen Jack, when he's a bit bigger,

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Speaker 1: I think that's when he was a bit more like, oh,

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Speaker 1: it's a human, and Jack was interactive with him because

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Speaker 1: he was What do you think has been the most

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Speaker 1: surprising thing about becoming pregnant because people often say, oh,

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Speaker 1: you know, it's wild what people will ask you, or

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Speaker 1: I can't believe that this is how I feel immediately.

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Speaker 1: There's a few things like I think I was so

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Speaker 1: concerned that I wouldn't be able to feel pregnant that

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Speaker 1: I never really allowed myself to think about what it

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Speaker 1: would be like being pregnant. So when I first found

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Speaker 1: out that I was pregnant, I was shocked at how

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Speaker 1: tired you feel. I was shocked at just starting to

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Speaker 1: see changes in my body. Like you guys say, oh,

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Speaker 1: you don't even look that pregnant to begin with, but

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Speaker 1: I can personally see the changes myself. Like the amount

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Speaker 1: of your boobs get bigger is the first one where

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Speaker 1: you're like, I think because we all have such small

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Speaker 1: boobs and they're probably still you know, most people would

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Speaker 1: consider them quite small, but you just feel it in yourself. Yeah,

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Speaker 1: and just not being able to like my go to

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Speaker 1: is to wear jeans and a singlet, and because I've

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Speaker 1: been so bloated in the first trimester, I haven't been

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Speaker 1: able to wear a pair of jeans. So it's even

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Speaker 1: like thinking what are outfits that I can wear where

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Speaker 1: it's not obvious to my friends that I'm pregnant, because

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Speaker 1: I didn't want to tell my friends until I hit

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Speaker 1: the three month mark because I was just really paranoid about,

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Speaker 1: you know, all the tests and the nest tests and

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Speaker 1: all that sort of stuff that you have to do.

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Speaker 1: I think the other surprising thing is that people feel

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Speaker 1: like they can ask you any invasive questions. So the

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00:18:06,040 --> 00:18:08,880
Speaker 1: amount of people that have been like, oh, how are

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Speaker 1: you giving birth? What? Haven't you had a chance to

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Speaker 1: like even think about it. And there's so much judge

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Speaker 1: are you going public or private? Like there's a lot

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Speaker 1: of I've noticed there's a lot of class around it

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Speaker 1: as well. I'm going public, public and proud, and I

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Speaker 1: just feel like people that will almost be like, oh,

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Speaker 1: you're not going private, You're not having an obstetrician. Was

431
00:18:27,040 --> 00:18:29,720
Speaker 1: at zambrero Is, my local Zambreros, and they're so nice

432
00:18:29,760 --> 00:18:32,000
Speaker 1: in there, and I mentioned that you guys are both pregnant,

433
00:18:32,119 --> 00:18:34,520
Speaker 1: and they even asked me what obstetrician you guys are

434
00:18:34,560 --> 00:18:36,240
Speaker 1: going through, And I thought it was so funny. I

435
00:18:36,280 --> 00:18:38,040
Speaker 1: didn't even know that was a question, Like I just

436
00:18:38,119 --> 00:18:40,439
Speaker 1: the thing that's that I find so shocking is that

437
00:18:40,840 --> 00:18:43,640
Speaker 1: everyone has an opinion on it, the judgment, I think,

438
00:18:44,480 --> 00:18:47,600
Speaker 1: and everyone talks about mum shaming. I think that people

439
00:18:47,640 --> 00:18:50,360
Speaker 1: get shamed as soon as they become pregnant. People start

440
00:18:50,400 --> 00:18:53,760
Speaker 1: judging every aspect. Something that's also shocked me is in

441
00:18:53,800 --> 00:18:57,080
Speaker 1: the first trimestera just how many out of pocket expenses

442
00:18:57,119 --> 00:18:59,640
Speaker 1: there are for all of the expensive scans, like they

443
00:18:59,720 --> 00:19:03,120
Speaker 1: hit all at the one time, Like it's just crazy.

444
00:19:03,200 --> 00:19:06,560
Speaker 1: I mean, we had a scan at oh I think

445
00:19:06,560 --> 00:19:10,680
Speaker 1: it was ten weeks just because they too much information,

446
00:19:10,720 --> 00:19:12,720
Speaker 1: but just because my periods weren't that regular. They wanted

447
00:19:12,720 --> 00:19:15,480
Speaker 1: to actually find out how old the baby, how many

448
00:19:15,520 --> 00:19:19,240
Speaker 1: weeks it was, So yeah, I mean, once you start

449
00:19:19,280 --> 00:19:21,800
Speaker 1: doing three or four scans in the first trimester, it

450
00:19:21,840 --> 00:19:23,960
Speaker 1: gets really expend As I told you, so, if I

451
00:19:23,960 --> 00:19:25,919
Speaker 1: think you're now at the moment when if you're in

452
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:28,320
Speaker 1: the public system, you get passed over to your midwife

453
00:19:28,400 --> 00:19:31,360
Speaker 1: group and from then on, I don't even I don't

454
00:19:31,359 --> 00:19:34,280
Speaker 1: think I've paid anything except like twenty dollars at the

455
00:19:34,280 --> 00:19:37,199
Speaker 1: hospital for the opioids. Well, that makes me feel a

456
00:19:37,200 --> 00:19:39,639
Speaker 1: bit better, but yeah, it's I mean, then you're just

457
00:19:39,640 --> 00:19:41,760
Speaker 1: paying a lot for all the babies. I recently had

458
00:19:41,840 --> 00:19:44,400
Speaker 1: a midwife appointment. It was actually an appointment that got

459
00:19:44,440 --> 00:19:46,720
Speaker 1: moved towards the doctor because I asked if to have

460
00:19:46,760 --> 00:19:50,280
Speaker 1: an elective cesarean And my goodness, they make you feel

461
00:19:50,280 --> 00:19:52,720
Speaker 1: bad about that, like the amount of things they read

462
00:19:52,760 --> 00:19:54,800
Speaker 1: out and you've got to sign your life away, And

463
00:19:54,840 --> 00:19:57,080
Speaker 1: I just think, why is there so much judgment over

464
00:19:57,119 --> 00:20:00,000
Speaker 1: how women choose to give birth? Like I have obviously

465
00:20:00,119 --> 00:20:02,199
Speaker 1: thought about this. I know the risks, and I know

466
00:20:02,280 --> 00:20:04,480
Speaker 1: that this is something that is better in the long

467
00:20:04,560 --> 00:20:07,040
Speaker 1: run for me to do it. This way. I actually, yeah,

468
00:20:07,080 --> 00:20:09,040
Speaker 1: I have an issue with that too, because I was

469
00:20:09,040 --> 00:20:12,000
Speaker 1: too scared to ask originally for an elective cesarean, because

470
00:20:12,000 --> 00:20:15,480
Speaker 1: I found there was judgment, particularly from the midwives, because

471
00:20:15,480 --> 00:20:18,240
Speaker 1: I think that they really like to push in quotation

472
00:20:18,320 --> 00:20:20,960
Speaker 1: marks the natural process, and I just say, and it's not.

473
00:20:21,240 --> 00:20:23,440
Speaker 1: I think it's wrong to call it a natural birth way.

474
00:20:24,359 --> 00:20:26,480
Speaker 1: Yes I know, but I'm saying from their perspective, like,

475
00:20:26,600 --> 00:20:30,120
Speaker 1: you really feel like they don't think it's natural, and

476
00:20:30,880 --> 00:20:33,439
Speaker 1: you actually get to a point where you're like, am

477
00:20:33,480 --> 00:20:35,320
Speaker 1: I even allowed to have this? But you are? So

478
00:20:35,320 --> 00:20:38,480
Speaker 1: if anyone's listening who actually wants an elective cesarean, you

479
00:20:38,520 --> 00:20:41,080
Speaker 1: can choose that and you don't even have to provide

480
00:20:41,359 --> 00:20:43,800
Speaker 1: an actual reason if you don't want it. They quissed me,

481
00:20:43,840 --> 00:20:46,440
Speaker 1: and I was like, even if it's not either actually

482
00:20:46,480 --> 00:20:49,200
Speaker 1: have to accept you just you just have to stick

483
00:20:49,240 --> 00:20:50,840
Speaker 1: to your guns if that's what you want. I think

484
00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:52,960
Speaker 1: that's not even just with pregnancy. I think in any

485
00:20:53,000 --> 00:20:55,320
Speaker 1: sort of medical environment, you always have to advocate for

486
00:20:55,359 --> 00:20:58,120
Speaker 1: your own health and what's right for you. Yeah, well

487
00:20:58,119 --> 00:20:59,920
Speaker 1: that's why we're going to wrap things up. But I've

488
00:21:00,160 --> 00:21:02,520
Speaker 1: feel like off the back of this episode. People may

489
00:21:02,600 --> 00:21:05,280
Speaker 1: have some more questions because it is quite an unusual

490
00:21:05,280 --> 00:21:08,000
Speaker 1: situation where you're both pregnant pretty much at the same time.

491
00:21:08,560 --> 00:21:10,439
Speaker 1: So if you do have any questions, send them in

492
00:21:10,440 --> 00:21:12,359
Speaker 1: and we might do a follow up episode if you

493
00:21:12,400 --> 00:21:14,880
Speaker 1: haven't already. We would really love if you could leave

494
00:21:14,960 --> 00:21:17,159
Speaker 1: us a five star review because it honestly helps the

495
00:21:17,200 --> 00:21:20,400
Speaker 1: podcast out so much. It helps reach new listeners. This

496
00:21:20,440 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 1: episode was recorded on the traditional land of the Ghana

497
00:21:23,320 --> 00:21:26,440
Speaker 1: people of the Adelaide Planes. We pay respect to elders

498
00:21:26,480 --> 00:21:27,360
Speaker 1: past and present,