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Speaker 1: For the last five years, my dad, Martin Imbert, has

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Speaker 1: done the sound mix for every single How I Work

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Speaker 1: and How I Live episode. In fact, I think he's

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Speaker 1: the only person on the planet that has had to

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Speaker 1: sit through every one of the several hundred interviews that

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Speaker 1: I have done since twenty eighteen now, so I decided

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Speaker 1: it was time to turn the microphone around onto my dad,

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Speaker 1: because he is an extraordinary person. He trained as an

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Speaker 1: electrical engineer back in his UNI days and spent most

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Speaker 1: of his career working as a computer programmer. But fourteen

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Speaker 1: years ago his life changed out of the blue. At

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Speaker 1: fifty nine years old, he suffered from a massive stroke

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Speaker 1: that left him unable to literally make a sound or communicate,

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Speaker 1: and the entire right side of his body became completely paralyzed.

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Speaker 1: But through the power of neuroplasticity and a lot of

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Speaker 1: rehab and hard work, my dad learned to move again,

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Speaker 1: and he also learned to talk again. I'm doctor Amantha Imbach,

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Speaker 1: an organizational psychologist and the host of How I Work,

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Speaker 1: and I'm trying something a little different for the next

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Speaker 1: few weeks. This is How I Live, a series that

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Speaker 1: gives you an inside look but some super accomplished people's

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Speaker 1: top strategies for living a happy, productive, and impactful life.

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Speaker 1: My dad's stroke has been by far the biggest challenge

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Speaker 1: thrown at him in his seventy plus years on the planet.

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Speaker 1: And that is where I chat begins.

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Speaker 2: When I had my stroke, he was the first big

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Speaker 2: health scare that I have had, and it was a

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Speaker 2: very major one and it caused me all sorts of

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Speaker 2: different reactions. It changed the way I think about things,

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Speaker 2: It changed the way I see other people. It changed

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Speaker 2: my mind because I was always a left brain and

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Speaker 2: logical thinking person. But I'm still am a logical person,

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Speaker 2: but I'm using my right brain more and it's more emotional,

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Speaker 2: so I am more emotional.

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Speaker 1: So I obviously know all about the stroke that happened

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Speaker 1: in two thousand and nine, but can you can you

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Speaker 1: explain what actually happened in that twenty four hour period

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Speaker 1: when the stroke happened.

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Speaker 2: So we were at a dance camp in Frankston, and

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Speaker 2: it was relatively cold, and I was dancing with Mum

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Speaker 2: and I've noticed at about ten thirty I was feeling

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Speaker 2: a bit shivery, sha shaking, and I didn't mention anything

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Speaker 2: to anyone because I didn't think it was significant, And

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Speaker 2: when we broke for lunch, I realized that I couldn't

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Speaker 2: put sentences together and I was talking to people around me,

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Speaker 2: and when I told Mom that I couldn't find words

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Speaker 2: to express myself, she immediately knew what was happening and

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Speaker 2: told me to lie down and called for an ambulance.

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Speaker 2: So when we went to Frankston Hospital, which was the

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Speaker 2: closest hospital, I got a cat scan and it didn't

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Speaker 2: see anything in my brain. I could talk or write,

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Speaker 2: but hesitantly, and I could.

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Speaker 1: Write and you could move like I could move.

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Speaker 2: Nothing externally in my motor coordination was a problem. So

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Speaker 2: they decided to keep me overnight and I didn't sleep

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Speaker 2: well and I was restless during the night. But when

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Speaker 2: it came to the morning, I felt, I need you

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Speaker 2: to go to the toilet, and while I was sitting

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Speaker 2: on the toilet, I felt dizzy and a wave of

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Speaker 2: dizzy it's come over me and my whole right side

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Speaker 2: was paralyzed. I somehow made my way back to the bed,

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Speaker 2: and I didn't even occurred to me to press the

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Speaker 2: nurse's call button because I was disoriented. So I waited

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Speaker 2: for someone to arrive, and when the nurse finally arrived.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't speak, and the nurse called the doctor, and

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Speaker 2: the doctor scheduled another cat scan. And when we had

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Speaker 2: that second cat scan, it showed a massive bleed in

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Speaker 2: my brain.

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Speaker 1: And when you say couldn't speak, can you explain that

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Speaker 1: in a bit more detail.

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Speaker 2: Not only could I not speak, I couldn't make any

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Speaker 2: sounds other than grunting sounds. And although I was conscious,

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Speaker 2: I couldn't I couldn't express myself.

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Speaker 1: And you remember what that felt like to go from

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Speaker 1: being able to communicate perfectly one day to having that

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Speaker 1: taken away from you so suddenly.

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Speaker 2: Helpless, helpless. I just lay in bed on my right

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Speaker 2: side was still paralyzed. I couldn't get up to walk.

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Speaker 2: I had to be helped to get to the toilet

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Speaker 2: by a nurse. And the occupy passional therapist came in

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Speaker 2: at some stage and asked me to look at a

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Speaker 2: few diagrams. And I could. When I looked at the

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Speaker 2: diagram with both eyes open, I only see the left side.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't see the right side. When it was pointed

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Speaker 2: out to me and I shifted my head, I could

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Speaker 2: see it. But when I shifted to look straight on.

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Speaker 2: I couldn't see it.

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Speaker 1: Do you remember what was going through your mind in

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Speaker 1: that first week after the stroke in terms of whether

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Speaker 1: this was your life from now on or that things

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Speaker 1: would change and get better.

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Speaker 2: I never considered that this would be my life from

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Speaker 2: now on.

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Speaker 1: I was.

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Speaker 2: Always going to fight what was happening to my body

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Speaker 2: and fix it. And I knew that. My mum told

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Speaker 2: me later that the doctors or had depressing prognosis, but

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Speaker 2: she didn't relay that to me. But if she had

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Speaker 2: of I would have ignored, and I would have said,

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Speaker 2: I'll fight to the end.

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Speaker 1: It's interesting because back in two thousand and nine when

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Speaker 1: this all happened, neuroplasticity was not earth that was or

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Speaker 1: a concept that was being talked about at medical schools,

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Speaker 1: or that many doctors even knew about. And so I

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Speaker 1: remember those really negative prognoses. But Marm and I both

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Speaker 1: having an understanding of psychology and science and both being

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Speaker 1: aware of neuroplasticity and the sort of emerging research in

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Speaker 1: that area. I think you know, we were also very

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Speaker 1: determined on your behalf that this was not permanent. What

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Speaker 1: was it that kept you motivated? Because I remember, I mean,

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Speaker 1: you must have done thousands of hours of rehab, both

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Speaker 1: physically and also for like verbal communication as well. What

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Speaker 1: was it that kept you motivated.

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Speaker 2: I don't know really what it was, but I just

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Speaker 2: wanted to get to get better and be normal again

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Speaker 2: and do the things that I liked doing. I liked dancing,

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Speaker 2: for one, and would working and photography, helping out my family,

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Speaker 2: all those sorts of things. And while I was in

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Speaker 2: a hospital, I couldn't do anything but do the therapy,

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Speaker 2: and I did the therapy as much as it could

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Speaker 2: I could.

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Speaker 1: You mentioned that you like your personality changed. How did

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Speaker 1: your personality change?

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Speaker 2: Well, I am more emotional and aligned to people other

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Speaker 2: people's feelings. When I watch a sad movie, I cry,

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Speaker 2: and I never used to do that, and I'm I

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Speaker 2: think I listened more to people than I did it before,

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Speaker 2: and I'm more aware of their feelings as well.

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Speaker 1: What was that like? Like, do you remember the first

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Speaker 1: time where, like, say, you did cry in a movie

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Speaker 1: after your stroke?

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Speaker 2: It was as soon as I've I've recovered, And I

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Speaker 2: recovered substantially after only three months or so, which is

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Speaker 2: when I went back to dancing and I could dance

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Speaker 2: because I had ninety five percent of full movement. And

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Speaker 2: I got my driver's license again soon after that, because

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Speaker 2: after a stroke you have to go for your license

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Speaker 2: test again. But I was aware pretty soon that I

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Speaker 2: was changed and I was more aware of emotions. And

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Speaker 2: when I saw my first Fields film, which was sad,

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Speaker 2: I cried and I realized that that was the new

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Speaker 2: normal for me.

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Speaker 1: And I know you've spoken about having more empathy for people,

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Speaker 1: what's that being Like?

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Speaker 2: It's been good because part of empathy, I believe, is

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Speaker 2: listening to other people's point of view, and I don't

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Speaker 2: think I did that properly before the stroke. I always

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Speaker 2: I was very opinionated, and I think I was insular,

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Speaker 2: and I didn't have many friends except a small group.

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Speaker 2: But after the stroke, I found myself being aware of

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Speaker 2: other people's feelings and other people's considering other people people's feelings,

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Speaker 2: and I generally think that's been a good thing.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, I've definitely experienced that. Like I feel like, you know,

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Speaker 1: when like whenever I express my opinion on something to you,

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Speaker 1: I feel like I'm treated as a fellow adult as

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Speaker 1: opposed to a child. And I feel like, you know,

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Speaker 1: in a lot of parent child relationships, it stays that

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Speaker 1: way like throughout life, and the parent always sees the

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Speaker 1: child as the child. But I think for me, something

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Speaker 1: that I feel that's changed in our relationship is that

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Speaker 1: it feels more like peers, which is nice, particularly because

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Speaker 1: we've been working on this podcast as Peers together for

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Speaker 1: five years. I agree completely, Yeah, and for me, that's

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Speaker 1: it's very special. Have you like had other people in

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Speaker 1: your life like comment on I don't know, like, have

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Speaker 1: there been particular situations or examples that come to mind

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Speaker 1: where you know, the post stroke you has responded really

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Speaker 1: differently to the pre stroke you.

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Speaker 2: Even though I speak slowly and I speak like I'm disabled,

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Speaker 2: people are very aware of treating disabled people in quotes normally.

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Speaker 2: So I don't think I haven't had an experience where

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Speaker 2: people have treated me differently. I think that's mostly because

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Speaker 2: they're aware of treating me differently. Would be a scene

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Speaker 2: as a bad thing on there, but half.

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Speaker 1: I'll be back talking with my dad about what the

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Speaker 1: biggest lessons that going through a stroke, taughting, and how

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Speaker 1: it feels for your speaking voice to sound a certain

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Speaker 1: way that's different to other people, yet to have everything

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Speaker 1: working perfectly well on the inside. In terms of his

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Speaker 1: ability to think. If you're looking for more tips to

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Speaker 1: improve the way you live. I write a short fortnightly

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Speaker 1: newsletter that contains three cool things that I've discovered that

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Speaker 1: help make my life better in some way. You can

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Speaker 1: sign up for that at how I Work dot co.

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Speaker 1: That's how I Work dot co. In your own words,

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Speaker 1: you know, you just described yourself as sounding sort of

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Speaker 1: disabled in the way that you speak, but cognitively, like

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Speaker 1: it's all completely happening in your brain, like you're one

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Speaker 1: of the smartest people. I know. What's that kind of juxtaposition.

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Speaker 2: Like I'm aware of everything that's going on, and after

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Speaker 2: the stroke, I was aware of searching for words. When

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Speaker 2: I couldn't find the correct word, I had to think

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Speaker 2: about it a bit and even look up Addictionary. But

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Speaker 2: that stayed with me to a certain extent. But I

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Speaker 2: eventually find the right word, and if I can't, I

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Speaker 2: know that I can't, and I look for it. So

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Speaker 2: I'm aware that I'm not one hundred percent in my

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Speaker 2: speech capabilities as well as my expressive capabilities. So that

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Speaker 2: doesn't worry be because I know that internally. If I

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Speaker 2: didn't know that and I had to have someone pointed

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Speaker 2: out to me.

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Speaker 1: I be worried, what about what other people might think? Like,

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Speaker 1: I mean, I feel like you've always been someone that

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Speaker 1: just doesn't care what other people think. Like, is that

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Speaker 1: the case? Is that still the case?

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Speaker 2: Yes? I don't care what other people think. I care

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Speaker 2: what my family think, I care what my friends think,

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Speaker 2: But I don't care what the general public think. And

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Speaker 2: I'm my own person.

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Speaker 1: Have you always been that way from a young age?

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Speaker 2: I think so?

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Speaker 1: I think so what taught you to be like that?

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Speaker 2: I think my parents, parents teach you a lot, if

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Speaker 2: not everything.

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Speaker 1: My dad.

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Speaker 2: Is my was one of my role models, and he

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Speaker 2: taught me a lot about wooden working. And I went

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Speaker 2: with him to help with the shop fitting when he

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Speaker 2: was in that phase. And I worked with him and

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Speaker 2: hampered the odd nail and painted the odd piece of shelving.

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Speaker 2: So I learned a lot from being with him and

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Speaker 2: having him point out my mistakes and my successes.

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Speaker 1: How do you think their experience of surviving the Holocaust

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Speaker 1: impacted You know this idea that it doesn't matter what

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Speaker 1: other people think? And I keep dwelling on that because

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Speaker 1: I feel like it's it's like a curse for so

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Speaker 1: many people that people spend so much time worrying about

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Speaker 1: what others think and comparing themselves to others, like on

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Speaker 1: social media and just through day to day interactions.

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Speaker 2: I think it's a disease. I can't explain why my

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Speaker 2: parents never had it or I haven't got it. But

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Speaker 2: after the Holocaust, which I had explained to me years

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Speaker 2: later by my father, what he went through, I can

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Speaker 2: see that the only person he had to depend on

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Speaker 2: was himself, and he couldn't depend on anybody else because

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Speaker 2: everybody else was against him or had their own agenda.

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Speaker 2: So he had no choice but to rely upon himself,

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Speaker 2: and he did, and he'd got him out of the

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Speaker 2: war alive, and out of the war with my mother.

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Speaker 1: Would have been the biggest lessons that going through the

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Speaker 1: whole experience of a stroke has taught you.

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Speaker 2: I think it was a teaching moment that some things

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Speaker 2: are more important than others. My health is important, my

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Speaker 2: family is important, my close friends are important. Whereas before

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Speaker 2: the stroke I never thought about those things. I guess

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Speaker 2: I was more selfish in some respects, and I travel

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Speaker 2: along thinking about myself. But after the stroke, I finish

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Speaker 2: up thinking about others more.

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Speaker 1: And how does that play out? Like on a day

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Speaker 1: to day level.

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Speaker 2: Hard to tell on a day to day level because

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Speaker 2: my whole attitude has changed for the better, I think,

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Speaker 2: and the day to day. In the back of my mind,

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Speaker 2: I think about those things all the time. So what

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Speaker 2: can I do for others? What can I do to

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Speaker 2: help my family? What can I do after those things

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Speaker 2: have done to enjoy my life? Those sort of thing.

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Speaker 1: Things, that's that's very beautiful. Something I ask everyone on

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Speaker 1: How I Live is if I gifted you a plaque

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Speaker 1: to put on your wall, what would you want it

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Speaker 1: to say?

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Speaker 2: Family is important?

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Speaker 1: Family is important? Tell me more about that.

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Speaker 2: Without family, I don't think there's much of a reason

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Speaker 2: to live after the stroke. I wouldn't have before the stroke.

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Speaker 2: I wouldn't have said that living before the stroke was

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Speaker 2: a solitary experience for me. But after the stroke, I

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Speaker 2: realized a lot of things were much more important. So family.

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Speaker 1: Hmm. Well, Dad, it's been after five years of doing

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Speaker 1: this podcast together How I Work and now How I Live,

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Speaker 1: it's been just such a joy to have you in

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Speaker 1: front of the microphone instead of just editing what everyone

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Speaker 1: else has said to me over the last few years,

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Speaker 1: and like just thank you for the honesty that you've

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Speaker 1: brought to this interview. It's been such a privilege to,

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Speaker 1: you know, chat to you about how your life has

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Speaker 1: changed from a really really big health event. And for me,

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Speaker 1: like I, you know, I think of you as like

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Speaker 1: there's pre stroke Dad and there's poststroke Dad, and they're

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Speaker 1: quite different people. And I feel very lucky that I've

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Speaker 1: had post stroke Dad in my life for the last

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Speaker 1: fourteen years. So thank you.

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Speaker 2: I hope my discussion of my stroke helps the people

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Speaker 2: with their health events in their lives.

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Speaker 1: I hope you liked this insight into the person who

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Speaker 1: sits behind the mixing desk making How I work possible.

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Speaker 1: I love this chance to interview my dad, and for me,

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Speaker 1: it's been one of the most special interviews of how

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Speaker 1: I work or live that I've done so far. Thank

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Speaker 1: you so much for sharing part of your day with

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Speaker 1: me by listening to How I Live. If you're keen

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Speaker 1: for more tips on how to work better and live better,

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Speaker 1: connect with me on LinkedIn or Instagram to search for

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Speaker 1: Amantha Imba. How I Live was recorded on the traditional

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Speaker 1: land of the Warrangery people, part of the Cooler Nation.

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Speaker 1: I'm so grateful for being able to work and live

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Speaker 1: on this beautiful land, and I want to pay my

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Speaker 1: respects to elders, past, present and emerging. How I Live

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Speaker 1: is produced by Inventium with production support from Dead Set Studios.

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Speaker 1: The producer for this episode was Liam Riddan and sound

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Speaker 1: engineering was done by Martin Imba