Speaker 1: I haven't cared.
Speaker 2: Talk to me about this hair. Who is flex and
Speaker 2: it is flex and rooms on catera. One thing about
Speaker 2: me is I like talking people through their issues, both
Speaker 2: good and bad. I really take a lot of pride
Speaker 2: in being the person that people come to speak to
Speaker 2: when they need a sounding board. It's a very important role.
Speaker 2: Not everyone can do it well. I do it well.
Speaker 2: One thing that has become glaringly clear, though, is that
Speaker 2: I'm not sure if we as a people understand the
Speaker 2: difference between overthinking and intentional thinking. And the reason why
Speaker 2: I say that is because when I look around and
Speaker 2: I see everybody quote unquote critically thinking and quote unquote
Speaker 2: getting to the bottom of thoughts, it seems like we
Speaker 2: just go in these circular motions of like going around
Speaker 2: the same ideas again and again and again, hoping to
Speaker 2: seek clouity that doesn't come. And the reason why I
Speaker 2: find this thing so interesting is because, as someone who
Speaker 2: likes to think recreationally, a lot of my best decisions
Speaker 2: come from impulse. As in, a lot of my best
Speaker 2: decisions come from, Oh, I wonder what would happen if
Speaker 2: I do that? And so then I do it, and
Speaker 2: then it dawned on me that I don't ever think
Speaker 2: I've really overthought myself into a good outcome. And by
Speaker 2: that I mean if I'm sitting here and I'm overthinking
Speaker 2: myself or overthinking any situation, it's usually a sign to
Speaker 2: me that at some point in the last minute, hour, day, week, month,
Speaker 2: I have bypassed what I actually wanted or bypassed the
Speaker 2: opportunity that was there in front of me. And now
Speaker 2: I'm trying to rewrite history to feel good about it,
Speaker 2: to think and think and think and think and think.
Speaker 2: And if I did it differently, then maybe it would
Speaker 2: have been this way. But now I'm here, So what
Speaker 2: am I gonna do? And la la lah lah? And
Speaker 2: for me personally, what I like to do, or how
Speaker 2: I usually sorry for me personally, how I usually live
Speaker 2: my life on the day to day is I have
Speaker 2: a situation that don't have a good answer for, like
Speaker 2: what should I do today? What should I eat today?
Speaker 2: And if I go into a consideration point of view
Speaker 2: and I'm like, Okay, I'm wanna scroll through this app
Speaker 2: and scroll and scroll and scroll, I'll usually not get
Speaker 2: to a point of feeling satisfied with the decision I've made.
Speaker 2: Now I've got to consider, oh, well i've scrolled for
Speaker 2: too long and the sandwich shops are closing, or well,
Speaker 2: now i haven't left enough time for deliveries, so I've
Speaker 2: got to pick anything. But on the adverse, if I
Speaker 2: just pick something and I eat it and it's not good,
Speaker 2: at least I'm not stuck in the anxiety of like, oh,
Speaker 2: maybe I should have pick something different. It's done.
Speaker 1: Is that anxiety or is that just the anxiety of
Speaker 1: not having picked something?
Speaker 2: Yeah, Like people get anxiety from not having picked something,
Speaker 2: the anxiety of choice. But what if? But what if?
Speaker 2: But what if? And I don't feel good about that.
Speaker 2: I want to feel good about the decision before I make it,
Speaker 2: and like, but how do I feel better? Maybe I'll
Speaker 2: do this, Maybe I'll do that. And then because anxiety
Speaker 2: as like the verb not the medical prescription, I don't
Speaker 2: know if that's a thing. Like you can feel depressive
Speaker 2: and not have depression really yeah, okay.
Speaker 1: Like yeah, because sometimes I'm like I'm depressed, and I'm like,
Speaker 1: I know I'm not using that, like I'm not depressed
Speaker 1: your melancholy.
Speaker 2: Maybe, yeah, I don't know what you're feeling. So then
Speaker 2: on the adverse. I think a lot of what I
Speaker 2: do is I make impulse decisions to get data to
Speaker 2: make another decision that I maybe use that data to inform.
Speaker 2: But usually I'm just like, if the sooner I pick
Speaker 2: the sooner, I know, I can't imagine thinking thinking thinking
Speaker 2: will give me more information. That's different to researching and
Speaker 2: getting more data and broadening up my perspective. But I
Speaker 2: think most people just circle around the same thing to
Speaker 2: feel good or to at least give them some sense
Speaker 2: of control, when realistically, the sooner you do the sooner
Speaker 2: you know. Anyway, we're don't talk about we're gonna talk
Speaker 2: about modern pod Well, we're gonna talk We're gonna talk
Speaker 2: more about it on our podcast. It's flex and Frooms
Speaker 2: anywhere you get good podcasts. Four point nine stars would
Speaker 2: highly recommend more unpacking, more critical thinking there. Part of
Speaker 2: what gets me as well is that generally when I'm overthinking,
Speaker 2: I'm trying to one rewrite history or coerce myself into
Speaker 2: a decision that's spawned from a decision I made that
Speaker 2: I'm not comfortable with. Can you give me an example,
Speaker 2: So let's say I am thinking about whether or not
Speaker 2: I should take a job right. Generally, when a job
Speaker 2: comes through, I run it through a filter. Do I
Speaker 2: trust this company? Have I worked with them before? Did
Speaker 2: I have a good experience? Did they pay enough? Do
Speaker 2: I have time? And if it's yes, yes, no, no, no,
Speaker 2: it's usually quite clear what the answer is. And then
Speaker 2: there are some instances where I disregard that filter that
Speaker 2: works quite well in any given scenario, and I want
Speaker 2: to add a layer of complexity, and I'm like, M,
Speaker 2: but I'm not sure, because like, maybe the money is good,
Speaker 2: but I don't really I have time. But if I
Speaker 2: don't have time, I'm going to be stressed, right, so
Speaker 2: I shouldn't take it, But I don't know. Maybe if
Speaker 2: I take it, there'll be good marketing opportunities. And maybe
Speaker 2: if there are good marketing opportunities, and I won't matter
Speaker 2: that I feel burnt out because this is like a
Speaker 2: really important career milestone. But then do I even want
Speaker 2: this thing? And suddenly we're getting so far away from
Speaker 2: what the point is. Yeah, if it doesn't fit within
Speaker 2: this rubric of like, doesn't fit within your time, the
Speaker 2: money's not good, you're not interested, you don't trust the brand.
Speaker 2: Why are you now trying to coerce yourself into making
Speaker 2: the right decision based on elements that are not right
Speaker 2: to begin with.
Speaker 1: Okay, I think I understand.
Speaker 2: So another secondary thing is like, let's say, what do
Speaker 2: you need to feel comfortable in an outfit. Let's say
Speaker 2: you're picking a dress to wear to a friend's wedding.
Speaker 2: You might get something from your wardrobe. You're like, no,
Speaker 2: I want to buy something new. So you're like, oh,
Speaker 2: I want it to be black. I want to feel
Speaker 2: comfortable in it. I want thick straps so I can
Speaker 2: wear a good bra. I don't want it to show
Speaker 2: any lumps or bumps. I want it to be long.
Speaker 2: And then your friend's like, I've got the perfect dress
Speaker 2: from you, and they send you a link and it's
Speaker 2: printed and it's floral, and it's a mini and it's
Speaker 2: got long sleeves. But you really like the designer and
Speaker 2: you've always wanted a piece from them, and it's half priced,
Speaker 2: so it's a really good deal and you're like, oh damn,
Speaker 2: Like should I get it? Everything says it's a good idea,
Speaker 2: and it's like, well, no, it doesn't fit the rubric.
Speaker 2: And it's like okay, well, let's think about it some
Speaker 2: more and you're like, okay, but then I would feel
Speaker 2: good about it, and maybe this is like no stick
Speaker 2: with what is known, or make an impulse decision and
Speaker 2: get it. But the overthinking, I don't think draws you
Speaker 2: to a better conclusion because usually you know what you
Speaker 2: need to do, you know the dress is not right,
Speaker 2: but the overthinking give you the sense of like, no,
Speaker 2: but I'm considering. And when I say overthinking, I don't
Speaker 2: mean intentional thinking. Intentional thinking would be I need a
Speaker 2: dress and I don't have any I don't have a
Speaker 2: like I don't have any considerations for what it should be.
Speaker 2: I don't know if I want to be long or short,
Speaker 2: or big or small or black or white. I just
Speaker 2: know I need to dress. Then you get dresses, you're like, Okay,
Speaker 2: now I'm intentionally thinking, this one makes you feel more comfortable,
Speaker 2: this one's a better price. Whatever. The overthinking to me
Speaker 2: feels like when it's clear or deviating from the most
Speaker 2: sensical answer, and then you're bringing in this element of
Speaker 2: confusion for what that's what I'm not trying to understand,
Speaker 2: Like what for?
Speaker 1: I think you made a good point when you were like,
Speaker 1: there's a difference between seeking out new data verse going
Speaker 1: over the same thing over and over again, because it's
Speaker 1: I think, and also I think what you said about
Speaker 1: decisions that you made and then trying to reason with
Speaker 1: them by overthinking them. But it's a very addicting behavior. Yeah,
Speaker 1: very addicting. I was having a conversation with somebody about
Speaker 1: this last night. We were driving hello from a friends
Speaker 1: from being with a friend, and my mate was saying,
Speaker 1: how like, yeah, they can't help themselves but to ruin
Speaker 1: And I definitely relate to that, which is difficult because
Speaker 1: what's the way out of it?
Speaker 2: Yeah, not to think now, and I'm not saying that
Speaker 2: it's a way out of it, but for me personally,
Speaker 2: I think when for example, moving to Melbourne, right, I
Speaker 2: didn't think about that. I didn't go over like the
Speaker 2: details what that would be Like, I'm like, I could
Speaker 2: do this, so I'm just going to do it, and
Speaker 2: then by actually doing it, I know how and where
Speaker 2: it fits. You might say, oh, you could have considered
Speaker 2: what your work schedule is, like, where you want to
Speaker 2: be in a year.
Speaker 1: Lah.
Speaker 2: All these things are variables that I cannot predict, especially
Speaker 2: in the life. So I have now I don't know
Speaker 2: what I know today my lease is up in three weeks.
Speaker 1: What in Melbourne?
Speaker 2: No, when I made the decision my lease is gonna
Speaker 2: be up in three weeks. Didn't want to be paying
Speaker 2: all this additional money to live in Sydney. Thought I
Speaker 2: could move somewhere else, thought I might go overseas. Then
Speaker 2: I thought, let's let's make the journeys. Who knows, I
Speaker 2: wasn't thinking let's go to New York. Let's go to
Speaker 2: New York, and I could live in New York. It's
Speaker 2: not for me. But I say this to say there's
Speaker 2: a difference between overthinking as a way often to self soothe,
Speaker 2: versus overthinking to make the best decision. I don't think
Speaker 2: a lot of us are concerned with making the best decision,
Speaker 2: because generally the information needed to make the best decision
Speaker 2: is right in front of us. And we're looking left,
Speaker 2: we're looking right, we're looking behind us, looking up, we're
Speaker 2: looking down.
Speaker 1: This is making a lot of sense in a dating context.
Speaker 2: It always does for you.
Speaker 1: Well, it's just you know, that's the absolute place for
Speaker 1: you overthink.
Speaker 2: The girls are gett to get and yeah, yeah, yeah,
Speaker 2: Missy Deally.
Speaker 1: Right, you've been listening to the flex and Froom's daily podcast.
Speaker 1: For more, tune Indicater on DAB or stream it on iHeartRadio.