WEBVTT - The One Hack To Make Your Life Better 🏆

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<v Speaker 1>I haven't cared.

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<v Speaker 2>Talk to me about this hair. Who is flex and

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<v Speaker 2>it is flex and rooms on catera. One thing about

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<v Speaker 2>me is I like talking people through their issues, both

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<v Speaker 2>good and bad. I really take a lot of pride

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<v Speaker 2>in being the person that people come to speak to

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<v Speaker 2>when they need a sounding board. It's a very important role.

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<v Speaker 2>Not everyone can do it well. I do it well.

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<v Speaker 2>One thing that has become glaringly clear, though, is that

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not sure if we as a people understand the

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<v Speaker 2>difference between overthinking and intentional thinking. And the reason why

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<v Speaker 2>I say that is because when I look around and

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<v Speaker 2>I see everybody quote unquote critically thinking and quote unquote

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<v Speaker 2>getting to the bottom of thoughts, it seems like we

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<v Speaker 2>just go in these circular motions of like going around

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<v Speaker 2>the same ideas again and again and again, hoping to

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<v Speaker 2>seek clouity that doesn't come. And the reason why I

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<v Speaker 2>find this thing so interesting is because, as someone who

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<v Speaker 2>likes to think recreationally, a lot of my best decisions

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<v Speaker 2>come from impulse. As in, a lot of my best

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<v Speaker 2>decisions come from, Oh, I wonder what would happen if

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<v Speaker 2>I do that? And so then I do it, and

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<v Speaker 2>then it dawned on me that I don't ever think

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<v Speaker 2>I've really overthought myself into a good outcome. And by

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<v Speaker 2>that I mean if I'm sitting here and I'm overthinking

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<v Speaker 2>myself or overthinking any situation, it's usually a sign to

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<v Speaker 2>me that at some point in the last minute, hour, day, week, month,

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<v Speaker 2>I have bypassed what I actually wanted or bypassed the

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<v Speaker 2>opportunity that was there in front of me. And now

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<v Speaker 2>I'm trying to rewrite history to feel good about it,

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<v Speaker 2>to think and think and think and think and think.

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<v Speaker 2>And if I did it differently, then maybe it would

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<v Speaker 2>have been this way. But now I'm here, So what

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<v Speaker 2>am I gonna do? And la la lah lah? And

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<v Speaker 2>for me personally, what I like to do, or how

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<v Speaker 2>I usually sorry for me personally, how I usually live

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<v Speaker 2>my life on the day to day is I have

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<v Speaker 2>a situation that don't have a good answer for, like

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<v Speaker 2>what should I do today? What should I eat today?

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<v Speaker 2>And if I go into a consideration point of view

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<v Speaker 2>and I'm like, Okay, I'm wanna scroll through this app

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<v Speaker 2>and scroll and scroll and scroll, I'll usually not get

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<v Speaker 2>to a point of feeling satisfied with the decision I've made.

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<v Speaker 2>Now I've got to consider, oh, well i've scrolled for

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<v Speaker 2>too long and the sandwich shops are closing, or well,

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<v Speaker 2>now i haven't left enough time for deliveries, so I've

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<v Speaker 2>got to pick anything. But on the adverse, if I

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<v Speaker 2>just pick something and I eat it and it's not good,

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<v Speaker 2>at least I'm not stuck in the anxiety of like, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>maybe I should have pick something different. It's done.

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<v Speaker 1>Is that anxiety or is that just the anxiety of

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<v Speaker 1>not having picked something?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, Like people get anxiety from not having picked something,

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<v Speaker 2>the anxiety of choice. But what if? But what if?

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<v Speaker 2>But what if? And I don't feel good about that.

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<v Speaker 2>I want to feel good about the decision before I make it,

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<v Speaker 2>and like, but how do I feel better? Maybe I'll

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<v Speaker 2>do this, Maybe I'll do that. And then because anxiety

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<v Speaker 2>as like the verb not the medical prescription, I don't

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<v Speaker 2>know if that's a thing. Like you can feel depressive

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<v Speaker 2>and not have depression really yeah, okay.

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<v Speaker 1>Like yeah, because sometimes I'm like I'm depressed, and I'm like,

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<v Speaker 1>I know I'm not using that, like I'm not depressed

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<v Speaker 1>your melancholy.

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<v Speaker 2>Maybe, yeah, I don't know what you're feeling. So then

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<v Speaker 2>on the adverse. I think a lot of what I

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<v Speaker 2>do is I make impulse decisions to get data to

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<v Speaker 2>make another decision that I maybe use that data to inform.

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<v Speaker 2>But usually I'm just like, if the sooner I pick

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<v Speaker 2>the sooner, I know, I can't imagine thinking thinking thinking

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<v Speaker 2>will give me more information. That's different to researching and

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<v Speaker 2>getting more data and broadening up my perspective. But I

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<v Speaker 2>think most people just circle around the same thing to

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<v Speaker 2>feel good or to at least give them some sense

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<v Speaker 2>of control, when realistically, the sooner you do the sooner

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<v Speaker 2>you know. Anyway, we're don't talk about we're gonna talk

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<v Speaker 2>about modern pod Well, we're gonna talk We're gonna talk

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<v Speaker 2>more about it on our podcast. It's flex and Frooms

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<v Speaker 2>anywhere you get good podcasts. Four point nine stars would

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<v Speaker 2>highly recommend more unpacking, more critical thinking there. Part of

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<v Speaker 2>what gets me as well is that generally when I'm overthinking,

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<v Speaker 2>I'm trying to one rewrite history or coerce myself into

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<v Speaker 2>a decision that's spawned from a decision I made that

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<v Speaker 2>I'm not comfortable with. Can you give me an example,

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<v Speaker 2>So let's say I am thinking about whether or not

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<v Speaker 2>I should take a job right. Generally, when a job

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<v Speaker 2>comes through, I run it through a filter. Do I

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<v Speaker 2>trust this company? Have I worked with them before? Did

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<v Speaker 2>I have a good experience? Did they pay enough? Do

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<v Speaker 2>I have time? And if it's yes, yes, no, no, no,

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<v Speaker 2>it's usually quite clear what the answer is. And then

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<v Speaker 2>there are some instances where I disregard that filter that

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<v Speaker 2>works quite well in any given scenario, and I want

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<v Speaker 2>to add a layer of complexity, and I'm like, M,

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<v Speaker 2>but I'm not sure, because like, maybe the money is good,

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<v Speaker 2>but I don't really I have time. But if I

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<v Speaker 2>don't have time, I'm going to be stressed, right, so

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<v Speaker 2>I shouldn't take it, But I don't know. Maybe if

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<v Speaker 2>I take it, there'll be good marketing opportunities. And maybe

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<v Speaker 2>if there are good marketing opportunities, and I won't matter

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<v Speaker 2>that I feel burnt out because this is like a

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<v Speaker 2>really important career milestone. But then do I even want

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<v Speaker 2>this thing? And suddenly we're getting so far away from

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<v Speaker 2>what the point is. Yeah, if it doesn't fit within

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<v Speaker 2>this rubric of like, doesn't fit within your time, the

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<v Speaker 2>money's not good, you're not interested, you don't trust the brand.

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<v Speaker 2>Why are you now trying to coerce yourself into making

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<v Speaker 2>the right decision based on elements that are not right

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<v Speaker 2>to begin with.

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<v Speaker 1>Okay, I think I understand.

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<v Speaker 2>So another secondary thing is like, let's say, what do

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<v Speaker 2>you need to feel comfortable in an outfit. Let's say

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<v Speaker 2>you're picking a dress to wear to a friend's wedding.

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<v Speaker 2>You might get something from your wardrobe. You're like, no,

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<v Speaker 2>I want to buy something new. So you're like, oh,

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<v Speaker 2>I want it to be black. I want to feel

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<v Speaker 2>comfortable in it. I want thick straps so I can

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<v Speaker 2>wear a good bra. I don't want it to show

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<v Speaker 2>any lumps or bumps. I want it to be long.

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<v Speaker 2>And then your friend's like, I've got the perfect dress

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<v Speaker 2>from you, and they send you a link and it's

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<v Speaker 2>printed and it's floral, and it's a mini and it's

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<v Speaker 2>got long sleeves. But you really like the designer and

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<v Speaker 2>you've always wanted a piece from them, and it's half priced,

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<v Speaker 2>so it's a really good deal and you're like, oh damn,

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<v Speaker 2>Like should I get it? Everything says it's a good idea,

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<v Speaker 2>and it's like, well, no, it doesn't fit the rubric.

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<v Speaker 2>And it's like okay, well, let's think about it some

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<v Speaker 2>more and you're like, okay, but then I would feel

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<v Speaker 2>good about it, and maybe this is like no stick

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<v Speaker 2>with what is known, or make an impulse decision and

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<v Speaker 2>get it. But the overthinking, I don't think draws you

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<v Speaker 2>to a better conclusion because usually you know what you

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<v Speaker 2>need to do, you know the dress is not right,

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<v Speaker 2>but the overthinking give you the sense of like, no,

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<v Speaker 2>but I'm considering. And when I say overthinking, I don't

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<v Speaker 2>mean intentional thinking. Intentional thinking would be I need a

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<v Speaker 2>dress and I don't have any I don't have a

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<v Speaker 2>like I don't have any considerations for what it should be.

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<v Speaker 2>I don't know if I want to be long or short,

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<v Speaker 2>or big or small or black or white. I just

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<v Speaker 2>know I need to dress. Then you get dresses, you're like, Okay,

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<v Speaker 2>now I'm intentionally thinking, this one makes you feel more comfortable,

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<v Speaker 2>this one's a better price. Whatever. The overthinking to me

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<v Speaker 2>feels like when it's clear or deviating from the most

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<v Speaker 2>sensical answer, and then you're bringing in this element of

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<v Speaker 2>confusion for what that's what I'm not trying to understand,

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<v Speaker 2>Like what for?

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<v Speaker 1>I think you made a good point when you were like,

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<v Speaker 1>there's a difference between seeking out new data verse going

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<v Speaker 1>over the same thing over and over again, because it's

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<v Speaker 1>I think, and also I think what you said about

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<v Speaker 1>decisions that you made and then trying to reason with

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<v Speaker 1>them by overthinking them. But it's a very addicting behavior. Yeah,

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<v Speaker 1>very addicting. I was having a conversation with somebody about

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<v Speaker 1>this last night. We were driving hello from a friends

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<v Speaker 1>from being with a friend, and my mate was saying,

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<v Speaker 1>how like, yeah, they can't help themselves but to ruin

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<v Speaker 1>And I definitely relate to that, which is difficult because

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<v Speaker 1>what's the way out of it?

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<v Speaker 2>Yeah, not to think now, and I'm not saying that

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<v Speaker 2>it's a way out of it, but for me personally,

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<v Speaker 2>I think when for example, moving to Melbourne, right, I

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<v Speaker 2>didn't think about that. I didn't go over like the

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<v Speaker 2>details what that would be Like, I'm like, I could

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<v Speaker 2>do this, so I'm just going to do it, and

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<v Speaker 2>then by actually doing it, I know how and where

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<v Speaker 2>it fits. You might say, oh, you could have considered

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<v Speaker 2>what your work schedule is, like, where you want to

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<v Speaker 2>be in a year.

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<v Speaker 1>Lah.

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<v Speaker 2>All these things are variables that I cannot predict, especially

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<v Speaker 2>in the life. So I have now I don't know

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<v Speaker 2>what I know today my lease is up in three weeks.

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<v Speaker 1>What in Melbourne?

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<v Speaker 2>No, when I made the decision my lease is gonna

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<v Speaker 2>be up in three weeks. Didn't want to be paying

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<v Speaker 2>all this additional money to live in Sydney. Thought I

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<v Speaker 2>could move somewhere else, thought I might go overseas. Then

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<v Speaker 2>I thought, let's let's make the journeys. Who knows, I

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<v Speaker 2>wasn't thinking let's go to New York. Let's go to

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<v Speaker 2>New York, and I could live in New York. It's

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<v Speaker 2>not for me. But I say this to say there's

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<v Speaker 2>a difference between overthinking as a way often to self soothe,

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<v Speaker 2>versus overthinking to make the best decision. I don't think

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<v Speaker 2>a lot of us are concerned with making the best decision,

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<v Speaker 2>because generally the information needed to make the best decision

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<v Speaker 2>is right in front of us. And we're looking left,

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<v Speaker 2>we're looking right, we're looking behind us, looking up, we're

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<v Speaker 2>looking down.

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<v Speaker 1>This is making a lot of sense in a dating context.

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<v Speaker 2>It always does for you.

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<v Speaker 1>Well, it's just you know, that's the absolute place for

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<v Speaker 1>you overthink.

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<v Speaker 2>The girls are gett to get and yeah, yeah, yeah,

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<v Speaker 2>Missy Deally.

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<v Speaker 1>Right, you've been listening to the flex and Froom's daily podcast.

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<v Speaker 1>For more, tune Indicater on DAB or stream it on iHeartRadio.