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Speaker 1: We got to get away from this, and part of

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Speaker 1: that means you might have to just put your phone down.

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Speaker 2: Seven minutes in an ice bath gives you the exact

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Speaker 2: same height as it would from doing a line of cocaine.

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Speaker 3: Really, because how comparison would that be? Like yourself, this

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Speaker 3: whole thing, and no one comes to your young bar

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Speaker 3: and you're like, right, I put my clothes back on.

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Speaker 2: Welcome back to Saucy's Secrets. I'm Sex and Dating columnist

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Speaker 2: Janna Hooking and joining me is the brilliant.

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Speaker 4: MC my favorite time of the week, I know, I.

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Speaker 2: Love it so much, and especially looking at what we've

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Speaker 2: got planned for this show, it's very exciting.

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Speaker 4: Like I know, there's a saying you can't improve on perfection,

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Speaker 4: but somehow we do that.

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Speaker 2: Every week off the shot get wilder and wilder, and

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Speaker 2: tonight is no exception. So coming up next. If you

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Speaker 2: thought Margaritea Nazarenko was amazing, in fact, something she said

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Speaker 2: on this show has now reached a million views.

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Speaker 4: On She's like a no nonsense dating coach who's completely

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Speaker 4: changed the way you now behave on your dates.

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Speaker 2: I'm going on a third a date with the same man,

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Speaker 2: purely based off her advice. Do you know how long

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Speaker 2: it's been since I've gone on three streets?

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Speaker 4: So what role will she play on your wedding day

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Speaker 4: when you inevitably you know?

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Speaker 2: Well, I did run into her last night, and yeah,

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Speaker 2: she's definitely brady.

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Speaker 4: What am I doing on the dark?

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Speaker 2: You can actually do what? You can host it? What

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Speaker 2: do they call it?

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Speaker 4: Should?

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Speaker 1: Yeah?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, as in the R and B superstarf.

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Speaker 2: No, Actually, I take back your role. You can do nothing.

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Speaker 2: You can be invited, you can be fight, you can

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Speaker 2: sit up the back, tell me I look pretty. But

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Speaker 2: we found the male version of Margarit and Azarenko. He's

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Speaker 2: named Benny Hart. He's joining us from New York. He

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Speaker 2: has blown up on TikTok for his no nonsense.

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Speaker 4: He's going to help blokes.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, men stick around, but well he helps women. But

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Speaker 2: he's it's like, we get it look in a male's brain.

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Speaker 2: He just tells it matter of factly. He suffers no fools,

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Speaker 2: and he's going to sort out our dating dilemmas.

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Speaker 4: All right, Benny Hart next.

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Speaker 2: And our next guest is a New York dating coach

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Speaker 2: who has built a cult following by telling people the

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Speaker 2: brutal truth. He's the guy you go to when you're

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Speaker 2: sick of breadcrumbs, mixed signals and emotionally unavailable men. Guilty

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Speaker 2: has charged, he's cut the bs, advice is blown up online,

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Speaker 2: and he joins us today to fix out and buy out,

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Speaker 2: I mean my dating life. Welcome, Benny Hart.

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Speaker 1: How you guys doing? Thank you for having me so.

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Speaker 2: I've been following you for quite a while on uh Well,

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Speaker 2: I'm an Instagram giralie, but I know you've blown up

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Speaker 2: on TikTok as well. You are famous for just letting

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Speaker 2: us inside a man's mind and telling us exactly how

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Speaker 2: he's thinking. What has it been like seeing women turn

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Speaker 2: to you in their most vulnerable moments of need?

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Speaker 1: You know, I don't really know, to be honest with you.

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Speaker 1: It's one of those things where I talk to everybody

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Speaker 1: as if I was talking to my sister. And I

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Speaker 1: think that's very important to get a much more objective

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Speaker 1: framework on this kind of stuff. You know, I know

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Speaker 1: these things may be sensed, people's emotions can be evolved,

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Speaker 1: but I talk in generalities and some people call it

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Speaker 1: tough love, but I just called a little bit more direct,

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Speaker 1: a little less batpacking. But I'm really trying to help

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Speaker 1: in that sense.

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Speaker 2: Yes, you said something the other day that was a

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Speaker 2: real oprah aha moment for me, and I realized I

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Speaker 2: had been doing it a lot. You said, stop giving men.

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Speaker 2: You're in situationships with the girlfriend treatment. So you're giving them,

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Speaker 2: you're all, you're going all in, but then they're not committing,

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Speaker 2: they're not locking it down. Can you explain that a

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Speaker 2: little bit further.

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Speaker 1: Yeah, there's girlfriend benefits in those girlfriend samples, and I'm

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Speaker 1: off for girlfriend samples. As I say, it's actually a

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Speaker 1: matter of fact, it's necessary for girlfriend samples. But girlfriend

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Speaker 1: benefits is essentially a place where you get too comfortable

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Speaker 1: and you become girlfriend without being girlfriend. There's no title here.

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Speaker 1: He didn't commit to you. But yet again, you know,

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Speaker 1: it's just more of like you do things as a girlfriend.

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Speaker 1: You're there all the time. The consistency and the difference

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Speaker 1: between like samples and something like benefits would be the consistency.

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Speaker 1: It's like, okay, yeah, fine, it's great to have a

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Speaker 1: sleepover once, so it's great to cook together. Yes, it's

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Speaker 1: great to do these things, but I catch you doing

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Speaker 1: them four five times a week, twice a week, three

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Speaker 1: times a week, these things get a little you start

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Speaker 1: giving things. You're saying, well, why isn't he committing I'm like,

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Speaker 1: what is he committing to? You already already has it?

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Speaker 2: So what are some samples we should be doing? Because

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Speaker 2: I find it really hard not to just give them

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Speaker 2: the full show friend and benefit. What is like, what

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Speaker 2: can we be doing that samples that would make them

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Speaker 2: want to eventually commit.

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Speaker 1: You haven't been to the Chinese store at the wall.

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Speaker 1: Notice how they give these samples and you're like, damn,

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Speaker 1: that tasted good, But they don't give you like five

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Speaker 1: or six. They give you a sample, you know what,

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Speaker 1: it tastes like. It's okay to do it once, twice,

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Speaker 1: maybe a few times. It's great, it's a good time.

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Speaker 1: It's just the consistency of these actions. And yes, that

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Speaker 1: just means like heavy sleepovers, that means cooking with one another,

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Speaker 1: that means consistent intimacy all the time in regardless and

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Speaker 1: even like emotionally opening up to something. It's all good,

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Speaker 1: and it's all good, but you go too far. Sometimes

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Speaker 1: you're like you're not really in that committed phase, and

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Speaker 1: you want to make sure you get to a place

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Speaker 1: where it seems like you both are getting there before

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Speaker 1: you start doing too much consistently. That's really what I mean.

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Speaker 2: Do you think the dating apps have created situationships because

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Speaker 2: everyone thinks there's so many more options to them.

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Speaker 1: Now, you can't blame dating apps, really got to blame people,

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Speaker 1: and people use them as their main parody to meet

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Speaker 1: other people, so they put it upon themselves. You know,

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Speaker 1: let me just back up for a second. My content

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Speaker 1: is about full self accountability, and that's part of the

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Speaker 1: reason why it hit so hard because I don't let

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Speaker 1: people get away with this. He did, he did, they did.

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Speaker 1: That's your problem, and you need to learn how to

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Speaker 1: restrict yourself off of these tools, because that's what they are,

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Speaker 1: the tools. And yes, for sure, it has created this

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Speaker 1: framework of optionality that is that are not real options,

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Speaker 1: they're the perceived options, and those perceived options make you

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Speaker 1: kind of push away even some of the good things

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Speaker 1: or see red flags sooner in other people. For example,

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Speaker 1: you want to date with a guy and like, it's good,

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Speaker 1: but you know he wore red shoes and you know

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Speaker 1: how those red shoes things go. But then again, there's

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Speaker 1: one hundred and eleven others, you know, and part of

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Speaker 1: that is this analysis paralysis, if you were to call it,

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Speaker 1: And that kind of eliminates people from actually getting to

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Speaker 1: the to the nit ingredient like getting to know each other,

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Speaker 1: because there's always these perceived level of like, oh, I

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Speaker 1: have this.

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Speaker 2: This and this before people because we are out of practice. Now,

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Speaker 2: how do you go about meeting people in real life

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Speaker 2: that isn't cringey?

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Speaker 1: Product in marketing? And then there's product, which is you,

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Speaker 1: like how you carry yourself, how you present yourself? Are

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Speaker 1: you walking around an RBF everywhere? Does that really help you?

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Speaker 1: And that's the product. Then the marketing is figuring out

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Speaker 1: where are my customers going. There's the everyday stuff right

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Speaker 1: on your path. There's the yes on the way to work,

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Speaker 1: is the coffee shops. Those are things that are in

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Speaker 1: your path, and I think people should be open I

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Speaker 1: really truly do. I think people should be open there.

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Speaker 1: But there's the other part of the conversation is where

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Speaker 1: is my target audience going and how I place myself

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Speaker 1: around them? And I came up an acronym called past.

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Speaker 1: It's very easy. It's proximity, I contact, smile, It's like

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Speaker 1: the essentials of learning. And I just think we've gotten

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Speaker 1: away from that because we've been so in some ways

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Speaker 1: isolated from society with these platforms done and not them

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Speaker 1: per se, but the way people use them that it's

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Speaker 1: created a place where even the smallest little thing, God,

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Speaker 1: I promise you, even people are afraid to look at

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Speaker 1: one another, look at one another. Mind blowing to me.

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Speaker 1: And it's just like the fear that's associated. But well,

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Speaker 1: what comes next? What if they don't, what if they don't.

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Speaker 1: There's all these what ifs, and we've got to get

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Speaker 1: we got to get away from this. And part of

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Speaker 1: that means you might have to just put your phone

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Speaker 1: down because people are just too addicted. But also which

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Speaker 1: a lot of not a lot of people like to hear,

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Speaker 1: but you might have to think also about like, well,

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Speaker 1: where would the kind of guy I want be hard?

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Speaker 1: Hard sell for some women out here because they're like, well, no,

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Speaker 1: I shouldn't have to do that. Well, Connie, you should actually,

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Speaker 1: because for whatever reason, if you're not getting approached or

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Speaker 1: if you're not entering relations with the kind of men

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Speaker 1: you want, that's either it's a you problem or you're

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Speaker 1: not putting yourself in the right position to get approached

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Speaker 1: by these guys.

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Speaker 2: Some of these might be personal once, but I wanted

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Speaker 2: to run some red flag green flag questions with you

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Speaker 2: because they're getting very confusing, and I'm not great at

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Speaker 2: picking up red flags until about a month in and

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Speaker 2: then I go, thank God, because this will make for

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Speaker 2: a great article. But that's my sunny side of looking

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Speaker 2: at it.

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Speaker 4: So there's a real chance that these red or green

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Speaker 4: flag scenarios could be from your history.

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Speaker 2: Who knows most of them are mine, I'll be honest.

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Speaker 2: So the first one is red flag or green flag.

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Speaker 2: They're amazing in person, but bland in text.

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Speaker 1: Yes, it could be a red flag. It just depends

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Speaker 1: on the person's communication style. And when we say bland,

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Speaker 1: is it like once a week, deathly bland, very red?

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Speaker 1: If it's just like okay, once or twice a day,

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Speaker 1: they check in because of that, And it depends what

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Speaker 1: people's needs are. Some people are like addicted to constant

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Speaker 1: interaction and some people are like, I'm okay with it

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Speaker 1: and we can just develop it slowly. So I think

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Speaker 1: it just depends. But overall, if it's bland bland, I'll

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Speaker 1: just give it read.

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Speaker 2: The next one is red flag green flag. They only

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Speaker 2: want to meet up once a week in the early

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Speaker 2: days green.

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Speaker 1: I don't call that red. And it just really depends, right,

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Speaker 1: And I'm going to elaborate on this, Like, if he's

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Speaker 1: pretty busy once a week early stage is actually decent pace.

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Speaker 2: What about they refuse to define the relationship after a

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Speaker 2: month of solid dating.

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Speaker 1: It's not a red, not a red. You know, I

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Speaker 1: wouldn't call it a green, but I wouldn't call it

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Speaker 1: a red.

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Speaker 5: They already bressed with me.

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Speaker 1: Well, you know, ironically, that's something they say they want,

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Speaker 1: but they tend to stick around. Let's just be honest, right,

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Speaker 1: It does take a little bit, especially if the pace

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Speaker 1: is still once a week. What is there to define

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Speaker 1: at this point?

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Speaker 2: Okay, yes, you're right. What about this one? This one

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Speaker 2: hits a little bit close to home. They want to

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Speaker 2: split the bill after the first, second, or third date.

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Speaker 4: Red.

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Speaker 2: Okay, so a little. Men do get angry when you

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Speaker 2: say that, because they're like, but you know, women are

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Speaker 2: making just as much money as men now, blah blah blah.

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Speaker 2: Do you just still think men should pay on the

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Speaker 2: first couple of dates?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? I do. I think men should I mean in

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Speaker 1: my personal but I think I should pay almost all

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Speaker 1: the time. Most of the time, for sure. I think

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Speaker 1: that's just a cope that most men do, you know,

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Speaker 1: and they'll use that like well women, It's just really

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Speaker 1: a cope in reality, and part of that really just

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Speaker 1: depends on who you tend to attract into your life,

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Speaker 1: you know, and it's really depending on the attitude of

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Speaker 1: the person. I think if two people have really good

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Speaker 1: attitudes and a guy has a good character, he should

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Speaker 1: be asking that, pursuing and paying for the dates. I

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Speaker 1: don't see an issue with that. As a matter of fact,

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Speaker 1: I should be expected.

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Speaker 2: Oh, preach, preach. Okay. This one came in from a listener.

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Speaker 2: She said, every time he goes out with his friends,

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Speaker 2: he doesn't answer any of my texts. When he comes home,

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Speaker 2: he says he was just having too much fun and

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Speaker 2: doesn't pay attention to his phone.

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Speaker 1: I wouldn't necessarily call it a red to give an

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Speaker 1: accurate answer here, you know, if this is the only

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Speaker 1: time that you're talking about that he's not using his

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Speaker 1: phone and he's just with his friends, I really wouldn't

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Speaker 1: give it that much of a thought unless it becomes

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Speaker 1: really like a habit of like him doing this in

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Speaker 1: other scenarios in different contexts. Now, if you're like dating

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Speaker 1: this guy or a relationship with the guy and it's

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Speaker 1: been like three or four months, then you would expect

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Speaker 1: him to be like, Hey, I'm with my friends. I'll

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Speaker 1: text you when I get.

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Speaker 2: Back, And do you think maybe you if we are

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Speaker 2: taking accountability, you would have to ask yourself as well,

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Speaker 2: like if you know who's going out with the boys

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Speaker 2: to have a good night, why do you need to

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Speaker 2: chat to him? Like shouldn't you just let him kind

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Speaker 2: of go and have a good night.

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Speaker 1: You can explain that to women.

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Speaker 4: Then well, why are you telling me that you should

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Speaker 4: be say?

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Speaker 2: Is read the book Attachment Styles. You might figure something

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Speaker 2: else about yourself. And then we had another one from

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Speaker 2: a listener. On the first date, he tried to get

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Speaker 2: me into bed. I said I wasn't keen. He seemed

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Speaker 2: fine and asked me out again. Fast forward, We've been

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Speaker 2: out on four dates now and every single time he

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Speaker 2: cheekly asks if I'm keen? Red flag or green flag?

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Speaker 1: Red? Really? Because I've always.

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Speaker 2: Said I'd be offended, like I'm not going to sleep

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Speaker 2: with the guy in a first date. That's a lie.

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Speaker 2: I've done it a couple of times, but normally I'm

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Speaker 2: not going to sleep with a gund of first date,

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Speaker 2: but I would be so offended if he didn't at

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Speaker 2: least try.

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Speaker 1: Trying is one thing, but asking is another.

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Speaker 2: Yeah, that's my point.

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Speaker 1: All right. I'll imagine this. Imagine a guy says, hey,

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Speaker 1: you are you down for tonight? What type of guy

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Speaker 1: is going to ask you that? Yeah? Are you down

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Speaker 1: to sleep together tonight? What are you talking about? It

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Speaker 1: should just start to happen naturally, And if he doesn't

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Speaker 1: pick that up, then that's like him not maybe reading

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Speaker 1: the cues properly. I don't know why would a guy

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Speaker 1: even have to ask personally? Like is that? Is that

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Speaker 1: a thing?

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Speaker 2: It's such an dick, it's so great. That means he's got.

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Speaker 1: Nice Yeah, it's like weird. It's like you have no

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Speaker 1: like real like suave. You can't like understand the socio

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Speaker 1: dynamic here enough to make the call for yourself.

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Speaker 2: Oh my god, I feel like we could ask you

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Speaker 2: a million.

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Speaker 4: More questions right now. Look, if people want to find you,

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Speaker 4: if people are asked after your help, if there are

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Speaker 4: more alsies that want to join the queue, what's the

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Speaker 4: best way for them to go about it?

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Speaker 1: Yeah? Absolutely, Benny Inc. On Instagram and tech talk me

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Speaker 1: and then why I n C.

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Speaker 2: I highly recommend he's brilliant.

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Speaker 4: You're leaving with more questions and answers when it comes

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Speaker 4: to your dating life. But Hi, we're doing our best.

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Speaker 4: Have some tough with a few men. Fanny Hart, thank

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Speaker 4: you for coming on Saucy Secrets. We appreciate it.

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Speaker 2: Thank you, Ben, thank you so much. Joining us today

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Speaker 2: is a woman called Alessandro with the cringiest, most horrible

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Speaker 2: dating story that I would die if ever happened to me. So,

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Speaker 2: what's your saucy secret?

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Speaker 3: I think I had one of the worst dates of

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Speaker 3: my life where I was surprised to meet someone's family

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Speaker 3: on the third date and I.

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Speaker 4: Had no idea how many members of the family are

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Speaker 4: we talking to? Immediate sibling? Were their aunties?

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Speaker 1: There were?

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Speaker 3: There were two siblings, two girlfriends.

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Speaker 2: Mum, so you think you're going on a third day?

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Speaker 1: Yep?

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Speaker 2: What were your plans? What did he tell you?

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Speaker 4: Yep?

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Speaker 3: So plans were we were going to go see Michael

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Speaker 3: Jackson the musical and I was like, that's fun. Great,

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Speaker 3: and then before that he's like, oh, we'll go to

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Speaker 3: dinner beforehand. I can't have you going to the theater

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Speaker 3: on an empty stomach, and I'm like perfect at this stage.

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Speaker 3: So then like the day of he's messaging me and

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Speaker 3: he's like, oh, there'll be a few extra people there,

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Speaker 3: so it'll be fun, you'll have a good time, okay,

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Speaker 3: And I'm like, what do you mean these extra people there?

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Speaker 2: I thought this was just a date show.

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Speaker 4: Up until this point, you thought he's a cool dude.

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Speaker 4: The first two dates have.

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Speaker 3: Gone okay, they've gone well, Like you know, he was

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Speaker 3: like the spontaneous type. So I was like, okay, I

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Speaker 3: think this is just him, like just roll with her.

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Speaker 3: And then I get there and I'm like I still

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Speaker 3: didn't know who these people were. He still didn't like say, oh,

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Speaker 3: this is my mom. He was just like, oh that's

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Speaker 3: so and so. Mind you. He told me to speak

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Speaker 3: to them in Italian, to like play a prank.

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Speaker 2: Did they speak Italian? The mother Italian? Okay?

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Speaker 3: So he's like, go in, there's one person in there

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Speaker 3: who speaks Italian. Let's play a joke and pretend that

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Speaker 3: you only speak Italian. And I've brought someone to dinner

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Speaker 3: in the theater to speak and.

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Speaker 2: I'm like, what, No, I'm not doing that.

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Speaker 1: I'm not doing that.

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Speaker 2: He's like, do it, do it?

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Speaker 1: Do it?

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Speaker 4: I'm like no, So we.

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Speaker 3: Walk in okay, and there I am starting to speak Italian.

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Speaker 3: Shah Michiamala, Sandra, I'm talking to Italian.

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Speaker 2: I'm honestly so nervous.

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Speaker 3: And then it just went downhill.

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Speaker 2: So when did the penny drop?

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Speaker 4: Okay?

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Speaker 3: So the penny dropped when I was like, I can't

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Speaker 3: do this anymore, like I'm going to speak English. He's lying,

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Speaker 3: you know, he was just playing a joke. And the mother,

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Speaker 3: who I didn't know at that point, was like, oh,

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Speaker 3: You've really got to have a bit of a personality

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Speaker 3: with this one. I was like, okay. And then I

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Speaker 3: looked at the other girl who was standing there, and

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Speaker 3: she introduced herself and the name was familiar because he'd

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Speaker 3: mentioned her name to me before.

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Speaker 2: As his sister in law.

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Speaker 3: So then I'm looking at this girl who's introduced me,

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Speaker 3: introduced herself to me, looking at the woman and the

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Speaker 3: names are starting to click. And then she looks at

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Speaker 3: him and she goes, how is your day, darling, gives

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Speaker 3: him a kiss, and I'm the penny's dropping, and I'm

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Speaker 3: just like, oh my odd.

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Speaker 4: What is happening?

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Speaker 2: It's the family. It's the family. And then I look

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Speaker 2: and there's a table of seats so it's like a

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Speaker 2: full family dinner and I'm like, what is going on?

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Speaker 2: How did he react when he realized who?

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Speaker 1: Nothing? I don't know.

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Speaker 3: He was just like, plang it cool. I was like,

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Speaker 3: did they know who I am? Like, I'm Italian? You

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Speaker 3: bring someone to dinner?

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Speaker 2: No? So did he introduce you as his girl?

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Speaker 4: Didn't even introduce me.

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Speaker 2: He was just like, off you go.

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Speaker 3: But after I was like digging and digging, like say,

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Speaker 3: do you think this is normal?

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Speaker 2: Yeah?

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Speaker 3: He was like, you know, I kind of like to

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Speaker 3: see people squirm.

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Speaker 2: That's his cank. I've heard about this before. It was like,

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Speaker 2: what are you kidding?

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Speaker 3: Like you get a pleasure from like seeing someone be uncomfortable.

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Speaker 2: What's the conversation like the next day when you go

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Speaker 2: what the heck? He was just like not thought it

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Speaker 2: was my understanding.

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Speaker 3: It was odd for me, and like I wanted to

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Speaker 3: talk about it and just be like where are you

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Speaker 3: coming from? Like why didn't you tell me? Like what

398
00:17:03,000 --> 00:17:04,520
Speaker 3: was the reason behind not telling me?

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Speaker 2: And he just said I knew that if I didn't.

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00:17:07,359 --> 00:17:10,240
Speaker 3: Tell you, you wouldn't come no shit, And I'm like, so,

401
00:17:10,320 --> 00:17:13,240
Speaker 3: why wouldn't you give me the opportunity to choose for myself?

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00:17:13,280 --> 00:17:15,399
Speaker 2: And do you think that, Like when I was hearing

403
00:17:15,400 --> 00:17:17,840
Speaker 2: about this, all I you're thinking was were you under

404
00:17:17,840 --> 00:17:21,439
Speaker 2: a test? Like I often because he wants his parents'

405
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Speaker 2: approval or his family approval as to who he dates.

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Speaker 3: I do feel like he was testing me. Yeah, which

407
00:17:29,040 --> 00:17:31,320
Speaker 3: is so weird. But he made it out as if

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Speaker 3: it's not that big a deal.

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Speaker 4: So what was the fourth date?

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Speaker 1: Like the fourth date was meaning.

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Speaker 2: I've done.

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00:17:38,880 --> 00:17:41,800
Speaker 3: It was just really odd, very very odd.

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00:17:42,119 --> 00:17:42,960
Speaker 2: So you called it off?

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00:17:43,320 --> 00:17:44,760
Speaker 3: Well, yeah, we kind of like spoke.

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00:17:45,160 --> 00:17:46,160
Speaker 2: He tried to kind of.

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Speaker 3: Talk it out, but essentially I was just like, this

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Speaker 3: is not my person.

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Speaker 2: Well, hang tight, ladies, because apparently they are out there somewhere,

419
00:17:52,720 --> 00:17:55,240
Speaker 2: but there are a million and one terrible.

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Speaker 4: People want to find you on the internets where you

421
00:17:57,760 --> 00:18:00,280
Speaker 4: talk about this stuff? Where can they find you?

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00:18:00,359 --> 00:18:03,640
Speaker 3: On TikTok there's lots of dating stories on there at

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Speaker 3: Makeup by Alessandra.

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Speaker 4: And just fell as. If you're watching on the YouTube strainer,

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Speaker 4: all right, don't do this, don't do it, don't bring mum,

426
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Speaker 4: don't bring the brothers. Don't bring the sister in laws.

427
00:18:12,280 --> 00:18:16,080
Speaker 4: Don't do it normal, normal normal? Has the dating been

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Speaker 4: okay better?

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Speaker 3: Since it actually has, I've had some really lovely dates.

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Speaker 2: It just made up for it. We know you know

431
00:18:21,119 --> 00:18:22,640
Speaker 2: what your red flags? Absolutely?

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Speaker 4: Yeah, yeah, thank you for coming on the show and

433
00:18:25,720 --> 00:18:27,359
Speaker 4: confessing your saucy secret to us.

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00:18:27,440 --> 00:18:32,159
Speaker 2: Thank you, thank you. We've received a letter to the

435
00:18:32,200 --> 00:18:35,679
Speaker 2: show this week that was a real head scratcher, and

436
00:18:35,760 --> 00:18:38,359
Speaker 2: at first I thought I straightaway knew the answer, but

437
00:18:38,400 --> 00:18:40,359
Speaker 2: then I did some slew things. So let me redo

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Speaker 2: out the question and you might be surprised by my answer,

439
00:18:45,000 --> 00:18:48,479
Speaker 2: so they wrote in Dear Saucy Secrets. Last weekend, I

440
00:18:48,600 --> 00:18:51,359
Speaker 2: was unpacking my husband's gym bag when I found a

441
00:18:51,400 --> 00:18:57,879
Speaker 2: packet of viagra. We've recently reignited our sex life after

442
00:18:57,920 --> 00:18:59,800
Speaker 2: I had our first child, and to be honest, this

443
00:19:00,040 --> 00:19:01,399
Speaker 2: sex has been great lately.

444
00:19:01,440 --> 00:19:02,480
Speaker 4: Okay, I's brilliant.

445
00:19:02,760 --> 00:19:06,720
Speaker 2: When I confronted him, he swore it wasn't because of me. Apparently,

446
00:19:06,760 --> 00:19:11,240
Speaker 2: he said everyone at the gym uses it for performance enhancement. Sorry,

447
00:19:12,480 --> 00:19:14,919
Speaker 2: but I'm worried he's not attracted to me as he

448
00:19:15,080 --> 00:19:19,160
Speaker 2: was just before I had his child. He's thirty eight, fit, healthy,

449
00:19:19,440 --> 00:19:22,600
Speaker 2: and to my knowledge, he has never had erection problems.

450
00:19:22,880 --> 00:19:25,840
Speaker 2: I'm so confused, is this a new male trend I've missed?

451
00:19:25,920 --> 00:19:28,560
Speaker 2: Or am I dating someone who secretly can't get it

452
00:19:28,680 --> 00:19:33,600
Speaker 2: up without help? Signed viagara wag now?

453
00:19:33,680 --> 00:19:35,920
Speaker 4: Because my thought instantly, when does she think he's cheating?

454
00:19:35,920 --> 00:19:37,920
Speaker 4: But now that makes sense, She's like, does he now

455
00:19:38,000 --> 00:19:40,720
Speaker 4: need help to sleep with me? Because things have changed

456
00:19:40,720 --> 00:19:41,680
Speaker 4: in our relationship?

457
00:19:41,880 --> 00:19:44,240
Speaker 2: Well, when she said she found it in his gym bag,

458
00:19:44,400 --> 00:19:46,119
Speaker 2: I was a bit like, Oh, he's having an effeir

459
00:19:46,119 --> 00:19:48,399
Speaker 2: with what I'm doing at the gym for sure, And

460
00:19:48,440 --> 00:19:50,119
Speaker 2: so straight away I was like, I mean points for

461
00:19:50,200 --> 00:19:53,280
Speaker 2: being creative coming up with that topic. But then I

462
00:19:53,320 --> 00:19:55,639
Speaker 2: did a bit of sleuthing and I asked around my

463
00:19:56,160 --> 00:19:56,920
Speaker 2: gym buddies.

464
00:19:57,160 --> 00:20:00,320
Speaker 4: It's weird. I didn't get that text message the gym

465
00:20:00,320 --> 00:20:01,560
Speaker 4: that I do all the time. What is he lifting

466
00:20:01,600 --> 00:20:02,600
Speaker 4: dumbbells with his dick?

467
00:20:02,960 --> 00:20:05,639
Speaker 2: Well, the weird thing is it actually is a trend.

468
00:20:05,920 --> 00:20:08,960
Speaker 2: It's real men are taking viagra before they go to

469
00:20:09,000 --> 00:20:12,639
Speaker 2: the gym because they say it boosts blood flow and

470
00:20:12,680 --> 00:20:15,600
Speaker 2: it gives you a batter pump. So honestly, there are

471
00:20:15,600 --> 00:20:19,960
Speaker 2: men in the gyms around us right now micro dosing viagra.

472
00:20:20,280 --> 00:20:23,120
Speaker 4: We're not suggesting look at their crutches in the gym,

473
00:20:23,160 --> 00:20:25,479
Speaker 4: but you might just help the pumping the iron.

474
00:20:25,960 --> 00:20:28,040
Speaker 2: I couldn't help, but love, because all I did keep

475
00:20:28,080 --> 00:20:30,520
Speaker 2: thinking was like all these men with like hard ones

476
00:20:30,680 --> 00:20:34,119
Speaker 2: doing workouts, so inappropriate, we'll like make you end up

477
00:20:34,119 --> 00:20:38,640
Speaker 2: in hl. But it really is happening, Okay. The problem

478
00:20:38,880 --> 00:20:42,440
Speaker 2: is when you look into it, and scientists and doctors

479
00:20:42,600 --> 00:20:44,400
Speaker 2: have had to look into it because so many gym

480
00:20:44,400 --> 00:20:48,000
Speaker 2: bros are taking viagrat the gym. It doesn't do anything

481
00:20:48,000 --> 00:20:50,760
Speaker 2: for your health. In fact, it actually if you mix

482
00:20:50,840 --> 00:20:53,320
Speaker 2: it with a pre workout or booze, because a lott

483
00:20:53,320 --> 00:20:55,359
Speaker 2: of men do take it on a night out for stomach.

484
00:20:56,119 --> 00:20:58,439
Speaker 4: People are also getting drunk before working, Like what is

485
00:20:58,440 --> 00:21:00,080
Speaker 4: happening in gyms these No, no, no.

486
00:21:00,119 --> 00:21:02,600
Speaker 2: It's happening in nightclubs as well. People are taking it

487
00:21:02,640 --> 00:21:03,560
Speaker 2: for stamina.

488
00:21:03,240 --> 00:21:03,760
Speaker 1: For all night.

489
00:21:04,080 --> 00:21:08,560
Speaker 2: It's actually really dangerous because it like ruins your blood pressure.

490
00:21:08,600 --> 00:21:10,959
Speaker 2: People are having heart attacks from taking it when they

491
00:21:11,000 --> 00:21:14,680
Speaker 2: really don't need it. So men stop taking viagara for

492
00:21:14,800 --> 00:21:17,399
Speaker 2: the gym. And if I was her, I wouldn't be

493
00:21:17,440 --> 00:21:19,960
Speaker 2: taking it personally. He's just caught up in a face.

494
00:21:20,119 --> 00:21:23,240
Speaker 2: Do you know what does actually work? Ice baths? Ice

495
00:21:23,280 --> 00:21:25,760
Speaker 2: bots will give you the exact same boost, the exact

496
00:21:25,800 --> 00:21:27,320
Speaker 2: same stamina.

497
00:21:27,560 --> 00:21:29,320
Speaker 4: I thought we were still. I was getting it up,

498
00:21:29,320 --> 00:21:30,600
Speaker 4: and I'm like, is it an ice bath going to

499
00:21:30,600 --> 00:21:32,439
Speaker 4: do the opposite to help you get in direction? No? No, no,

500
00:21:32,680 --> 00:21:35,760
Speaker 4: you don't for the gym, the gym, for the gym.

501
00:21:35,880 --> 00:21:38,160
Speaker 2: Also, I found out something interesting the other day. Did

502
00:21:38,200 --> 00:21:41,000
Speaker 2: you know that an ice bath gives you the exact

503
00:21:41,040 --> 00:21:43,720
Speaker 2: same high as it would from doing a line of cocaine?

504
00:21:44,160 --> 00:21:47,960
Speaker 2: Really difference? Is this is true? This is science, guys.

505
00:21:48,800 --> 00:21:52,440
Speaker 2: The line of cocaine will apparently only last half an hour,

506
00:21:52,520 --> 00:21:55,480
Speaker 2: but the benefits from the high of an ice bath

507
00:21:55,560 --> 00:21:57,080
Speaker 2: will last you seven hours.

508
00:21:57,200 --> 00:21:59,520
Speaker 4: That's why there are all these ice bath challenges popping

509
00:21:59,600 --> 00:22:02,520
Speaker 4: up in bond. It makes complete sense. Who said this

510
00:22:02,600 --> 00:22:03,840
Speaker 4: wasn't an educational shark?

511
00:22:03,920 --> 00:22:06,800
Speaker 2: Cost of living is real and an ice bath is free.

512
00:22:06,920 --> 00:22:10,159
Speaker 2: So put down the viagramnu at the gem. Stop using it.

513
00:22:10,160 --> 00:22:13,200
Speaker 2: It's actually really bad for your health. And lady, no,

514
00:22:13,480 --> 00:22:16,800
Speaker 2: you have nothing to worry about. He just wants bigger muscles.

515
00:22:18,200 --> 00:22:20,520
Speaker 2: I love a good hack. I especially love a good

516
00:22:20,560 --> 00:22:24,480
Speaker 2: hack when it catches out dirty, dirty cheaters, and we've

517
00:22:24,520 --> 00:22:29,200
Speaker 2: discovered one tonight. That is surprisingly easy.

518
00:22:29,480 --> 00:22:32,560
Speaker 4: Yeah, because like normally, cheaters go to great lengths to

519
00:22:32,600 --> 00:22:35,360
Speaker 4: cover their tracks and make it really difficult to get discovered.

520
00:22:35,359 --> 00:22:37,000
Speaker 4: But this is like just a couple of buttons and but.

521
00:22:37,600 --> 00:22:40,280
Speaker 2: Yes, it's super easy. Now. The first thing I would

522
00:22:40,320 --> 00:22:42,719
Speaker 2: say is, if you feel like your partner is cheating,

523
00:22:43,480 --> 00:22:47,160
Speaker 2: there's a fair chance they are. Like Marguerite and Azarenku said,

524
00:22:47,200 --> 00:22:51,240
Speaker 2: always follow your gut because it's annoyingly hardly ever wrong.

525
00:22:52,000 --> 00:22:55,879
Speaker 2: There is a disclaimer to this hack. Only do it

526
00:22:55,880 --> 00:22:58,360
Speaker 2: if you really want to know. I know, we all

527
00:22:58,440 --> 00:23:00,639
Speaker 2: think we want to know if our partner is cheating,

528
00:23:00,680 --> 00:23:03,640
Speaker 2: But like they say, when you go hunting, be prepared

529
00:23:03,640 --> 00:23:05,320
Speaker 2: to actually find something.

530
00:23:05,600 --> 00:23:11,199
Speaker 5: Yeah right, Yeah, So most cheaters will send you know,

531
00:23:11,320 --> 00:23:15,199
Speaker 5: their little mistress the dirty skank a text message and

532
00:23:15,240 --> 00:23:16,240
Speaker 5: then they'll delete it.

533
00:23:17,280 --> 00:23:20,359
Speaker 2: It's gone forever, or is it. It's not.

534
00:23:21,520 --> 00:23:23,479
Speaker 4: So all you need to do if you've got an

535
00:23:23,560 --> 00:23:28,399
Speaker 4: iPhone with the most up to date software on that iPhone,

536
00:23:28,480 --> 00:23:30,720
Speaker 4: when you open your messages in the top right hand corner,

537
00:23:30,720 --> 00:23:34,200
Speaker 4: there's a little button with three straight lines which filters

538
00:23:34,200 --> 00:23:35,640
Speaker 4: all the text messages that you've got.

539
00:23:35,680 --> 00:23:37,520
Speaker 2: I've never even looked at it before until now.

540
00:23:37,560 --> 00:23:39,480
Speaker 4: You click on this button and one of the options

541
00:23:39,640 --> 00:23:42,840
Speaker 4: is recently deleted. So all these texts that you delete

542
00:23:43,480 --> 00:23:46,600
Speaker 4: sit in that folder I think for thirty days before

543
00:23:46,600 --> 00:23:47,720
Speaker 4: they're wiped completely.

544
00:23:47,920 --> 00:23:50,720
Speaker 2: Okay, that's petrifying. And the weird thing was we went

545
00:23:50,720 --> 00:23:53,760
Speaker 2: through my phone. I've got nothing to delete because I am.

546
00:23:53,680 --> 00:23:56,240
Speaker 4: As updated phone. So here's here's the tip for those

547
00:23:56,280 --> 00:23:58,280
Speaker 4: that are planning on cheating, not that we'd ever condone that.

548
00:23:58,520 --> 00:23:59,520
Speaker 4: Don't update your iPhone.

549
00:23:59,560 --> 00:24:01,240
Speaker 2: Never update at your iPhone and you won't have to

550
00:24:01,240 --> 00:24:04,280
Speaker 2: do it. But ladies, if you think your man is cheating,

551
00:24:04,680 --> 00:24:07,720
Speaker 2: go into his messages, click the three dots, go to

552
00:24:07,840 --> 00:24:12,320
Speaker 2: the recently deleted folder, and there will be all his dirty, dirty.

553
00:24:11,920 --> 00:24:13,960
Speaker 4: Text Just in case my wife is listening, Do we

554
00:24:14,000 --> 00:24:15,960
Speaker 4: go through my text messages just to confirm more than

555
00:24:15,960 --> 00:24:16,159
Speaker 4: I will?

556
00:24:16,200 --> 00:24:17,240
Speaker 2: Well, let's go through them.

557
00:24:17,960 --> 00:24:20,800
Speaker 4: Oh god, all right. Top text is from Pure Baby

558
00:24:20,840 --> 00:24:27,000
Speaker 4: that is a children's clothing brand, pet Barn and Palm

559
00:24:27,040 --> 00:24:29,320
Speaker 4: Beach Surf Club on the Gold Coast. I think I'm safe,

560
00:24:30,080 --> 00:24:30,800
Speaker 4: think I'm sicked, but.

561
00:24:30,840 --> 00:24:32,960
Speaker 2: I know a lot of you will be asking. But wait,

562
00:24:33,040 --> 00:24:35,760
Speaker 2: I don't know my partner's code to even get into

563
00:24:35,800 --> 00:24:38,320
Speaker 2: the phone. My friend did the naughtiest trick of it.

564
00:24:38,440 --> 00:24:40,960
Speaker 2: This is how she broke into her partner's phone. So

565
00:24:41,119 --> 00:24:43,400
Speaker 2: every time he would get his phone out, she would

566
00:24:43,480 --> 00:24:46,120
Speaker 2: be like, okay, let's do it with you. So you've

567
00:24:46,119 --> 00:24:47,960
Speaker 2: got your phone out. You might be at the table.

568
00:24:48,280 --> 00:24:50,879
Speaker 2: I look like I'm looking at my phone right. No, No,

569
00:24:50,960 --> 00:24:53,800
Speaker 2: I'm recording you. So you know a lot of times

570
00:24:53,840 --> 00:24:56,760
Speaker 2: when you have to type in your code because maybe

571
00:24:56,760 --> 00:24:59,119
Speaker 2: you've got sunglasses on or your face doesn't turn up.

572
00:24:59,359 --> 00:25:01,320
Speaker 2: Every time she's saw him jump on his phone, she

573
00:25:01,320 --> 00:25:03,400
Speaker 2: would have her phone like this, recording.

574
00:25:03,000 --> 00:25:04,200
Speaker 4: Him him putting in his pink coat.

575
00:25:04,280 --> 00:25:04,960
Speaker 1: Yeah, and so she.

576
00:25:04,920 --> 00:25:06,920
Speaker 2: Got his pinkerd and then she would slow it down

577
00:25:07,119 --> 00:25:08,159
Speaker 2: and work out what it was.

578
00:25:08,560 --> 00:25:12,320
Speaker 4: Now, would you bust into your partner's phone if you

579
00:25:12,560 --> 00:25:15,960
Speaker 4: printed out a big picture of their face? Would that

580
00:25:16,040 --> 00:25:17,560
Speaker 4: work on the facial recognition?

581
00:25:17,680 --> 00:25:19,960
Speaker 2: No, I've tried that. Oh yeah, that doesn't okay, And

582
00:25:20,000 --> 00:25:22,840
Speaker 2: I've also tried it when they're sleeping as well. That

583
00:25:22,880 --> 00:25:23,360
Speaker 2: doesn't work.

584
00:25:23,560 --> 00:25:26,320
Speaker 4: Holding it up to the face, yeah, trying to pry

585
00:25:26,440 --> 00:25:28,760
Speaker 4: their eyes open so it can see the eyeballs.

586
00:25:28,880 --> 00:25:32,000
Speaker 2: But me're not also simple creatures, so also try one, two, three,

587
00:25:32,080 --> 00:25:33,840
Speaker 2: four or their birthdate. That usually works.

588
00:25:33,920 --> 00:25:34,800
Speaker 4: It generally works.

589
00:25:35,119 --> 00:25:37,800
Speaker 2: We don't we don't suggest you do this. We're just

590
00:25:37,880 --> 00:25:38,480
Speaker 2: letting you know.

591
00:25:38,720 --> 00:25:43,000
Speaker 4: But hey, whatever you need to do to either confirm

592
00:25:43,240 --> 00:25:46,359
Speaker 4: or put your suspicions at ease, that is completely up

593
00:25:46,359 --> 00:25:48,639
Speaker 4: to you. If you don't want to worry about like

594
00:25:48,840 --> 00:25:52,000
Speaker 4: human interactions though and the whole dating and stuff yuck,

595
00:25:52,080 --> 00:25:54,879
Speaker 4: don't want to there is a way to get around that,

596
00:25:55,080 --> 00:25:55,960
Speaker 4: and that is.

597
00:25:56,280 --> 00:25:59,480
Speaker 2: Today it's your chance to win the fun Factory Vim Messager.

598
00:26:00,000 --> 00:26:02,280
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599
00:26:02,320 --> 00:26:05,480
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600
00:26:05,480 --> 00:26:09,840
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601
00:26:10,000 --> 00:26:14,400
Speaker 2: vibration at any speed. This will transmit excitement to deeper layers,

602
00:26:14,600 --> 00:26:17,800
Speaker 2: whether along the inner clitterus or to the prostate. From

603
00:26:17,920 --> 00:26:21,360
Speaker 2: gentle tremble to full body rumble, the VIM Messenger from

604
00:26:21,400 --> 00:26:24,720
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605
00:26:24,880 --> 00:26:28,920
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606
00:26:29,000 --> 00:26:32,480
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607
00:26:32,800 --> 00:26:34,520
Speaker 4: How we reached the end of yet another shot?

608
00:26:34,680 --> 00:26:36,320
Speaker 2: I know and just to remind it that we are

609
00:26:36,359 --> 00:26:39,359
Speaker 2: coming up to Christmas, so get your orders in. Don't

610
00:26:39,359 --> 00:26:42,200
Speaker 2: get the boring Cadbury chocolate box, get your partner a

611
00:26:42,280 --> 00:26:47,000
Speaker 2: sex toys. Oh wow, but yes we've finished another show.

612
00:26:47,119 --> 00:26:50,480
Speaker 2: Who knows what Next week we'll ring. It will be naughty,

613
00:26:50,720 --> 00:26:53,600
Speaker 2: it will be one for headphones. Don't listen in the car.

614
00:26:53,480 --> 00:26:55,240
Speaker 4: With kids, obviously not.

615
00:26:55,880 --> 00:26:58,399
Speaker 2: I think you've earnt that by what are we? Episode twelve?

616
00:26:58,800 --> 00:27:00,880
Speaker 2: Episode twelve you should know no to listen with kids

617
00:27:00,920 --> 00:27:03,359
Speaker 2: in the car. Thank you for joining us. Bye,