Speaker 1: Lifelun Cut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose lands
Speaker 1: were never seated. We pay our respects to their elders
Speaker 1: past and present.
Speaker 2: Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was
Speaker 2: recorded on Drug Wallamata Land.
Speaker 1: Hey guys, and welcome back to another episode of lifelu Cut.
Speaker 1: I'm Brittany and I'm producer Keisha feeling in.
Speaker 2: For you Laura. Yeah, it is therapy Thursday.
Speaker 3: I'm just gonna cut and our very own, very beloved
Speaker 3: Laura burn Or.
Speaker 1: She's been working hard on something. She's been breadcrumbing and
Speaker 1: feeding that to you. We've been joking that she's on
Speaker 1: Ninja Warrior, so she's definitely at Ninja school today.
Speaker 3: She does have an exciting announce been coming this afternoon
Speaker 3: if you're listening to this as soon as the episode
Speaker 3: comes out, but just so you do know, it's Ninja Worrior.
Speaker 1: Also, I know we're so annoying, Like we're the most
Speaker 1: annoying people. I hate nothing more when someone's like, been
Speaker 1: working on thing that's coming soon and then we don't
Speaker 1: tell you do You know what I love the most
Speaker 1: is when people post that shit on Instagram and then
Speaker 1: the thing that they announce is such a non.
Speaker 3: Event that you're like, why did you try and create
Speaker 3: hype about it?
Speaker 2: Like, I wouldn't give a fuck if.
Speaker 3: You posted that without the hype up, but I care
Speaker 3: significantly less because I feel as though the.
Speaker 2: Climax of this announcements should have been high on.
Speaker 1: It's funny too, when someone's like big change coming and
Speaker 1: then they post their new hair or something and it's
Speaker 1: like a centimeter was trimmed off and you're like.
Speaker 2: Whoa, that's a change. Did I miss something?
Speaker 1: No, we had some great questions coming up, but before that,
Speaker 1: we do want to get into something a little bit
Speaker 1: more serious, something that hasn't happened in a long time.
Speaker 1: It's been a bit of a drought. It is looking
Speaker 1: like my skin. My skin is in a drought. Oh
Speaker 1: my god, it's like a cracked river bed. But we'll
Speaker 1: get to that in a minute. He's looking like producer
Speaker 1: Keisha is getting the sack because she might have.
Speaker 3: Herself a boyfriend and now we've got no one to
Speaker 3: bring the trauma days. She's gonna be getting the sacked
Speaker 3: because I mean a little bit behind the scenes action.
Speaker 2: I absolutely lost some footage and some.
Speaker 3: Before Oh no, Yeah, you're getting the sack that you
Speaker 3: made some work mistakes.
Speaker 1: But no, the main reason you'd be getting the sack
Speaker 1: is because we don't really do happy in love here, Like,
Speaker 1: we don't do that.
Speaker 2: I love ung hard. Now who do we throw to
Speaker 2: the wolves?
Speaker 3: You were almost worried when you started dating Ben. I
Speaker 3: remember you actually being like, what are we going to
Speaker 3: do now for content? Like how am I going to
Speaker 3: bring shit to the table? Because that's kind of how
Speaker 3: we connected. You know, there were many people that could
Speaker 3: have been your producer, But I think when I wrote
Speaker 3: to you guys, I was like, hey, look, I kind
Speaker 3: of feel like we're gonna get along.
Speaker 2: We trauma bond. We did we buy an email?
Speaker 3: Yeah?
Speaker 2: I don't know if I've ever have we ever.
Speaker 1: Told that story? I'm sure we have at some point.
Speaker 1: Producer Keisha, we just got an email. We got a
Speaker 1: lot of email slidings, but we got an email from
Speaker 1: a girl named what I said was Kishia when I
Speaker 1: read it out loud.
Speaker 2: Basically asking for a job.
Speaker 3: It was a CV saying I like the podcast, this
Speaker 3: is what I've done in the past.
Speaker 2: I will do anything because it was tough, well it was.
Speaker 2: It was you know, COVID time. It was a bit
Speaker 2: of a rough time for.
Speaker 3: A lot of people, and I don't know what it
Speaker 3: was because we get all of different emails.
Speaker 2: But I took it to Laura and I said, hey,
Speaker 2: this girl's a job.
Speaker 1: She seems pretty honor it, like, she seems pretty like
Speaker 1: she'd fit in Laura's.
Speaker 2: Like nah, now did she really?
Speaker 3: Well?
Speaker 1: Not because it's yeah, but more because we had never
Speaker 1: had another employee forever.
Speaker 2: It was just Laura and myself. But Laura didn't want
Speaker 2: to give up.
Speaker 1: Not didn't want to, but it's always hard when you've
Speaker 1: created something, when it's just the two of us that
Speaker 1: worked in everything, it was really hard to give up
Speaker 1: a piece to someone else.
Speaker 2: And Laura always edited the podcast and we were bringing
Speaker 2: you on to edit.
Speaker 1: So for Laura it was a really big like I'm
Speaker 1: not ready to let that go yet. But she was
Speaker 1: also drowning in work, and I was like, babe, make
Speaker 1: your decision, because like you're sleeping for an hour and night,
Speaker 1: so here is someone that can help us.
Speaker 2: I think that that.
Speaker 3: Might've actually been something that I included because I'd come
Speaker 3: from a radio background, and long story short, I was
Speaker 3: made redundant, and I'd been looking for a job and
Speaker 3: basically applying for all of these different media positions. And
Speaker 3: I had a conversation with a friend of mine and
Speaker 3: she was like, no, no, no, what do you actually want?
Speaker 3: You know, who do you specifically want to work with?
Speaker 3: And we went through a list of like do you
Speaker 3: want TV? Do you want radio?
Speaker 2: Do you want podcasting?
Speaker 3: And I was like, I think podcasting what I really
Speaker 3: like about it is that, like you can talk about
Speaker 3: things you actually care about. There's a lot less filters
Speaker 3: than traditional radio. You know, you can swear, you can
Speaker 3: kind of talk about.
Speaker 2: Whatever you want or anything.
Speaker 3: Yeah, And she was like, okay, cool, what podcasts do
Speaker 3: you like? And the first one was Life on Cut.
Speaker 2: And she was like, why haven't you messaged them?
Speaker 3: And I was like, cause, you can't just do that
Speaker 3: and she was like, what do you mean you can't
Speaker 3: just do that that you can?
Speaker 2: Turns out you can slide into their dms.
Speaker 1: It was literally divine intervention because it was the night
Speaker 1: before where Laura and I had a proper conversation where
Speaker 1: I was like, you know, she wasn't sleeping very much
Speaker 1: because she's so busy all the time. And we were growing,
Speaker 1: but we weren't growing. Yeah, anyway, it was perfect timing.
Speaker 1: But that's how Keisha ended up with us. But also
Speaker 1: we got onto that story. Well it was the trauma bond, right,
Speaker 1: this is the whole connection. Was also like, oh, like,
Speaker 1: she's also had a rough trot forever.
Speaker 3: I think I actually wrote to you guys, and I
Speaker 3: was like, look, professionally, there are people who could probably
Speaker 3: do this job better than I can, because there are
Speaker 3: people who are going to be better editors and better
Speaker 3: audio engineers and blah blah blah. But I think I'll
Speaker 3: actually really get along with you because I also have
Speaker 3: some really fucked up exits my soul.
Speaker 2: You were like, great, we're on track.
Speaker 1: But what this brings us to is we're putting applications
Speaker 1: out for someone new that is also going through traumatic
Speaker 1: times with their dating life because we need you on
Speaker 1: it team.
Speaker 2: No, KEI show looks like I don't know.
Speaker 1: You tell me you've been going steady. Now you've been
Speaker 1: going steady with someone And I say that because it's
Speaker 1: been more than three days, which we haven't hit that
Speaker 1: in a while.
Speaker 2: Am I getting it? Like my anxiety rash? I don't know,
Speaker 2: tell us, what's the gosp And you know.
Speaker 1: The other reason I know is that when I was
Speaker 1: going over to see Ben Laurie's to make the joke
Speaker 1: that I was peacocking, I was getting ready. You have
Speaker 1: peacock hard, you wear nice clothes, You've got your eyebrows done,
Speaker 1: your beautiful makeup, you're doing your.
Speaker 2: Hair, and I'm like, there must be a special someone
Speaker 2: at home you before Brittay goes over to see Ben.
Speaker 2: The amount of it.
Speaker 3: Because we have a shared calendar, she puts all of
Speaker 3: her appointments in there so that I don't book things
Speaker 3: for when they're busy.
Speaker 2: Appointment you get WHA's the back appointment? Laser from the eyebrows? Mowdown.
Speaker 3: No, look, it's very early days, and that's why I
Speaker 3: don't want to speak out of turn.
Speaker 2: It's very very early days. But I have been enjoying
Speaker 2: the company of one person. The bar was so low.
Speaker 2: What do you think? What does make him sound very good?
Speaker 3: This is what's been quite a big surprise to me
Speaker 3: is that this is probably one of the first times
Speaker 3: in quite a long time. And I'm going to say,
Speaker 3: you know that everyone that I've dated in the past
Speaker 3: has been horrible because they have it.
Speaker 2: Some have been great people, but I don't think i'd.
Speaker 3: Realized until I actually went on like my first date
Speaker 3: with him, that, my god, like what I had become
Speaker 3: accustomed to accepting us like normal dating behavior, it was
Speaker 3: just getting really down in the pits, down in like
Speaker 3: the bottom of the barrel type area of what you
Speaker 3: should expect, like respect from someone.
Speaker 2: What the fuck is that? Totally?
Speaker 1: And I remember, I mean you and I have gone
Speaker 1: from many walks and had many of conversations about our
Speaker 1: dating life. And I remember one day we pulled each
Speaker 1: other up. Yeah, I think you actually said it.
Speaker 3: You were like, oh my god, he's just so sweet,
Speaker 3: and I was like, what did he do?
Speaker 2: He was like, he wrote back a piece of salmon.
Speaker 3: Okay, Dalilah was with me when I went to visit
Speaker 3: for lunch one.
Speaker 2: Day, and what are we going to call him? I
Speaker 2: actually call him. You want to call him Toplane.
Speaker 3: That's not anything, it's top gra nickname for me. But
Speaker 3: he did cook Delila a piece of salmon, so.
Speaker 2: Which means he's winning me over.
Speaker 3: If you're going to treat my dog, if you to
Speaker 3: cook her salmon, because you know that's what she.
Speaker 2: Likes to waiters. Have you had the talk? No, I'm
Speaker 2: getting to thirty soon. I'm not going to get into
Speaker 2: a third base that you know, it's serious. We are
Speaker 2: hitting third day. Do you still have the conversation? I
Speaker 2: don't think you do.
Speaker 3: Getting to this age, I'm like, surely you don't have
Speaker 3: to have that chat anymore, because realistically, if I find
Speaker 3: myself wanting to go and hook up with another person,
Speaker 3: then like, what's the difference if I've had the conversation
Speaker 3: of is this exclusive or not?
Speaker 2: Because I would just.
Speaker 3: End it and then do you know what I mean? Like,
Speaker 3: I think people have the conversation still, yes, do go?
Speaker 1: Yeah, Because if you don't have the conversation, it's a
Speaker 1: whole past, it's a ticket, it's an excuse that if
Speaker 1: they do go and hook up with someone else, you're like, well, babe,
Speaker 1: I thought I didn't know we're exclusive.
Speaker 2: We never had that. They win that argument because you
Speaker 2: never had the conversation. But like, that's what I mean.
Speaker 3: If he wanted to go and hook up with someone else,
Speaker 3: and that's to me is like, oh okay, well then
Speaker 3: you didn't see this.
Speaker 2: Going where I may be thought it was going.
Speaker 1: No, because you've done that in the past, and I'm
Speaker 1: not saying that's a bad thing, but like, you've dated
Speaker 1: people casually in the past that you've.
Speaker 2: Quite liked, Yeah, not exclusive.
Speaker 3: You've hooked up with someone else and you're like, well,
Speaker 3: you know, we're not exclusive.
Speaker 2: I think it's a conversation yet you have to have.
Speaker 3: But I think the fact that like I had hooked
Speaker 3: up with someone else is the indication that I wasn't
Speaker 3: that into the person.
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 1: To me, it's very implied. I do think, No, you're wrong,
Speaker 1: You're making a mistake. Don't assume you know what that says.
Speaker 1: You make an ass out of you and me. I'm
Speaker 1: trying to think of what Ben and I did.
Speaker 2: I remember Ben was trying to lock you down. Oh
Speaker 2: for the moment he got laid tell everyone never exen
Speaker 2: like it.
Speaker 3: And Britt was like, oh, you keep some wanting to
Speaker 3: have this conversation with me about you know, whether we're
Speaker 3: seeing each other or not. But I think I need
Speaker 3: to go over and spend some proper time with him.
Speaker 3: Like it's definitely leading in that direction, and it's not
Speaker 3: like I'm going to be investing any time in someone else,
Speaker 3: but we need to spend more time together before I
Speaker 3: actually make that decision.
Speaker 2: You were the one who was commitment phobic. You say that,
Speaker 2: like that's a surprise. We know I have commitment issues. No,
Speaker 2: you know what it was.
Speaker 1: He never hid that he wanted a relationship, and I
Speaker 1: would just say to him straight back, like we're not
Speaker 1: there yet, like I really like seeing you, but we're
Speaker 1: not there, And he's like, that's okay, you don't have
Speaker 1: to be I'm just telling you what I like. He
Speaker 1: was just so forward with his feelings, which I loved,
Speaker 1: but he kept saying things like, well.
Speaker 2: Obviously you wouldn't see anyone else, would you.
Speaker 3: Oh? Like the question that was like it passed off
Speaker 3: was rhetorical, but he was actually.
Speaker 2: Trying to dig for a bit more information.
Speaker 1: Yeah, he was trying to make it like dah w
Speaker 1: we'ere obviously at the place where we're seeing each other.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I don't think it's an employed Sometimes.
Speaker 1: I'm sure it's implied, like you might move in together
Speaker 1: straight away. All the COVID times, you know, when people
Speaker 1: ended up dating for two weeks COVID happened, you know,
Speaker 1: that's of course implied that you're together. But I think
Speaker 1: at your stage, like I mean, you have spent three
Speaker 1: nights in a row with him.
Speaker 2: It's a lot.
Speaker 3: I'm not used to having something. I think I've become
Speaker 3: a lot more like you. We've been spending too much
Speaker 3: time together. I'm just morphing into Brittany gradually because I mean,
Speaker 3: I guess people on podcasts might not know this, but
Speaker 3: we actually spend a lot about personal life together as well.
Speaker 2: Quite co professional codependent. I said to him last night.
Speaker 3: I was like, I haven't spent this amount of time
Speaker 3: with the one person except for britt for a very
Speaker 3: long time life, and I'm just not used to it.
Speaker 3: But yeah, look, taking things slowly in my mind, and
Speaker 3: I will give an update on where it goes. But
Speaker 3: I'm also actually genuinely interested. I might put this up
Speaker 3: on an Instagram story today and ask you whether you
Speaker 3: think you still have to have the conversation to me.
Speaker 3: This is the first year of my life that I
Speaker 3: have thought, nah, I don't need to I don't need clarity,
Speaker 3: like you know, you could regret that maybe any but
Speaker 3: I don't. Every year up until this point I would
Speaker 3: have been like, oh, yeah, like I'd like to have
Speaker 3: that conversation, but I have anxiety about it, or like
Speaker 3: I feel a little bit uncomfortable about maybe how they're
Speaker 3: gonna respond. I genuinely have just I don't know how
Speaker 3: I got to this place, but I've just moved to
Speaker 3: this point where I'm like, night, I actually don't care
Speaker 3: about having the conversation.
Speaker 1: I genuinely think there's a time too of your life
Speaker 1: where and I think you're entering it where you've been
Speaker 1: shit on so many times that your care factor goes
Speaker 1: down a little bit and you're like, cool, I'm just
Speaker 1: not gonna put the energy in even if you're interested.
Speaker 1: You're like, I'm not gonna give it the energy that.
Speaker 2: I normally would have.
Speaker 1: And I don't mean the good energy, like of course
Speaker 1: you're putting effort into the dating, but I mean when
Speaker 1: something starts to go south. You used to not you,
Speaker 1: but people we would dwell on it, would talk about it,
Speaker 1: would wonder why should I triple text them?
Speaker 2: They've goes to me?
Speaker 3: But now you sort of would be like, oh, well,
Speaker 3: he was a dickhead, like who cares?
Speaker 2: Move on, look for the next good thing.
Speaker 3: It's so crazy because I feel as though this is
Speaker 3: the first time I've given no fucks, like just been
Speaker 3: like oh whatever, it is what it is, And you
Speaker 3: had said this to me for so long, being like
Speaker 3: as soon as you get to that point, you are
Speaker 3: so insanely attractive to men.
Speaker 2: Dude, my dms.
Speaker 3: They've never been for they've never been lit up like this.
Speaker 3: It's like a moth to a flame. It's like they
Speaker 3: can sense that you don't want like that. You're just like, ohren,
Speaker 3: give fuck, like you had your chance for literally six months.
Speaker 3: Don't come messaging me now. I don't want to hang
Speaker 3: out with you now.
Speaker 1: Yeah, you just need someone to break you that last time,
Speaker 1: and I'm so broken.
Speaker 2: You can't break me anymore. That's what it's mean.
Speaker 3: And then it's you're on the ground, horizontal. There's only
Speaker 3: one way, and that's up. That's where you are. You're flying,
Speaker 3: soaring high.
Speaker 2: Dating lives are so fucking grim. No, it's good.
Speaker 1: I'm happy to say you're happy. And I have spoken
Speaker 1: to him. I have not met him, but I've spoke
Speaker 1: to him. He seems like a lovely man and I
Speaker 1: can't wait for the update.
Speaker 2: But I have been wondering about your skin.
Speaker 3: You've been posting a little bit of stuff on Instagram
Speaker 3: about the skin treatment that you're doing because you had
Speaker 3: some pre cancer or cells and you've been was it
Speaker 3: a cider toxic treatment or something like that?
Speaker 1: Yeah, pre cancer cells founded a skin check and I've
Speaker 1: can get a lot of questions, so I'm gonna spell
Speaker 1: it out a little bit. But I went to a
Speaker 1: proper skin cancer clinic because a lot of people have said, oh,
Speaker 1: did you go to just a GP or like who.
Speaker 2: Did you go to?
Speaker 1: So to be clear, I went to a skin cancer specialist,
Speaker 1: but I went for a a check up. But be
Speaker 1: a couple of things that really were prominent on my
Speaker 1: face that had been there for a while, just darker areas,
Speaker 1: nothing extravagant. A couple of little, darker pigmented areas, and
Speaker 1: it turns out there, yeah they're pre cancer, so they're
Speaker 1: okay now, but chances are they will.
Speaker 2: Turn into cancer if I leave them.
Speaker 1: So you put this side a toxic cream on kills
Speaker 1: your face basically peels off. Another question I've been getting
Speaker 1: is do you just spot put it on on the
Speaker 1: three spots that I had, But you do not.
Speaker 2: You put on your whole face.
Speaker 1: And I'm lucky that I did because a lot of
Speaker 1: other areas have been coming out that are bad. Basically,
Speaker 1: there's a lot of other bad areas in my face.
Speaker 3: Your skin when you don't have anything on it, it
Speaker 3: looks really painful, it looks really sore. And I know
Speaker 3: that people who have been listening to the podcast consistently
Speaker 3: are probably like, Oh, you're still banging on about this
Speaker 3: skin thing. I cannot tell you how many messages we
Speaker 3: are getting to the DMS about your skin treatment. And
Speaker 3: I want to thank you because because of you, I
Speaker 3: have booked in for a skin check and I'm pretty overdue.
Speaker 3: I've had quite a lot of things cut out of
Speaker 3: my body because I got up at the beach and
Speaker 3: I spent a lot of time in the sun as
Speaker 3: a kid.
Speaker 2: But I it's something that I was kind of I haven't.
Speaker 3: Been putting it off, but I just haven't had that
Speaker 3: motivation to be like, oh, just book it in and more.
Speaker 1: Important, right, You're always like, I know I've got to
Speaker 1: do it, but I'm busy this week. And it's an
Speaker 1: easy when there's not a real thing that's worrying you,
Speaker 1: it's an easy put off.
Speaker 2: I only told you guys about it last week.
Speaker 1: But I guess the reason we talk about it is
Speaker 1: it's an ongoing thing.
Speaker 2: So for the next three weeks.
Speaker 1: I'm using the terms eats my face, like I keep saying,
Speaker 1: it will continue to eat my face for like three
Speaker 1: weeks and right now.
Speaker 2: I tried to put a bit of makeup on today
Speaker 2: because we.
Speaker 1: Had so many interviews, but I don't think I'm supposed to,
Speaker 1: so don't tell my doctor. And my face is like
Speaker 1: covered in red blisters and they're getting worse, so it'll
Speaker 1: continue to.
Speaker 2: Get worse for a couple of weeks.
Speaker 1: I've had so many responses to my Instagram stories that
Speaker 1: I've been posting about it. You know, a lot of
Speaker 1: thanks for sharing, which are amazing because people have contacts
Speaker 1: and relations that have had cancers and stuff like that,
Speaker 1: but a lot of people being like, you're so brain
Speaker 1: for putting this out, so thank you so much, because
Speaker 1: you're so brave for showing your face like that.
Speaker 2: You're brave, stunning and brave, which I did find the
Speaker 2: old me for sure.
Speaker 1: Five years ago, I would have probably just hid myself
Speaker 1: away and been like I'll do my treatment like I'm
Speaker 1: Corella de Ville, and then like I'll re emerge in
Speaker 1: a month. But now it doesn't bother me, like people
Speaker 1: think I'm locking myself away. I'm coming to the radio
Speaker 1: station every day.
Speaker 2: I'm not gonna lie.
Speaker 3: I was surprised that you put on Instagram because you
Speaker 3: were texting Laura and I over the weekend, and then
Speaker 3: when I saw them on your stories even I was like, whoa.
Speaker 3: And for anyone who hasn't seen them, you probably think
Speaker 3: that we're just talking about like a bare face photo.
Speaker 2: We're not.
Speaker 3: It's pretty visceral because it looks like a really severe
Speaker 3: chemical burn. And I was even surprised that you were
Speaker 3: willing to be that. I hate this word, but vulnerable.
Speaker 1: Yeah, but you know why because I know people that
Speaker 1: have died of skin cancer, and I know if one
Speaker 1: person goes and gets their skin checked and saves themselves,
Speaker 1: I'd be happy. But to know that so many people
Speaker 1: are like, far out, it's just my skin. You've already
Speaker 1: got a friend, you've already locked them down. It doesn't
Speaker 1: matter what you look like anymore.
Speaker 2: I made him sign a contractor said, you can't just
Speaker 2: like to escape.
Speaker 3: I want to tell you a story about what happened
Speaker 3: with one of my best friends the other day.
Speaker 2: The tl DR too long didn't read version? Is that?
Speaker 3: Is that?
Speaker 2: What that means t LT. I've read that on.
Speaker 3: So many like news articles, and sometimes you say ship
Speaker 3: and I'm like, you're such a boomer at heart, I am.
Speaker 2: I've always wanted you think it meant.
Speaker 1: I always knew that it meant something like he's a summary, but.
Speaker 2: It was like Latin like et cetera. It's like everything
Speaker 2: like was the other one the other day.
Speaker 3: I didn't know AI chat thanks GP, chat GP chat
Speaker 3: GPT was And then you tried to say that I
Speaker 3: didn't know what it was because I didn't know what
Speaker 3: the GP or the T stood for exactly, but I
Speaker 3: didn't know. You sort of alluded to I know what
Speaker 3: chat GPT is. But it's okay, Grandma, we'll get you there,
Speaker 3: all right.
Speaker 2: My friend and I were.
Speaker 3: Chatting about her basically, she's in a Newish relationship, and
Speaker 3: you know, we were talking about their sex life and
Speaker 3: something came off and I can't actually remember how we
Speaker 3: got from A to B. She's very into star science
Speaker 3: and astrology and all of the things that go with
Speaker 3: the moon phases. She turned to me and she was like,
Speaker 3: oh no, no, no, no, no, my libido is completely
Speaker 3: off at the moment. It's not the moon phase to
Speaker 3: be having sex tonight.
Speaker 2: Hang on, was this the first time?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: No, no month, I'm they're about to get jigging. She's like, wait,
Speaker 2: the moon, the moon cycle? He says, no, effecting my libido?
Speaker 2: Is that a thing? Do you reckon? The moon affects
Speaker 2: your I don't think there's any science behind the fact
Speaker 2: that the moon changes your libido. I think you go
Speaker 2: of how you feel. Don't you not like the moon? Said?
Speaker 3: No?
Speaker 2: Like headache?
Speaker 3: Yes, But I don't think you can say the moon
Speaker 3: has put such I mean the moon.
Speaker 2: Gives you a headache? Or do you mean a headache
Speaker 2: is good enough reason?
Speaker 1: No, the headaches are good enough for reason for an
Speaker 1: excuse like a headache is the go to standard.
Speaker 3: So we did have a bit of a laugh about this,
Speaker 3: and we put it on our Instagram story. What's the
Speaker 3: silliest reason you've give been a partner for not wanting
Speaker 3: to have sex?
Speaker 1: My faked hand was developing that I didn't want it
Speaker 1: to be patchy.
Speaker 3: That's valid, or you don't want the lines or the streaks.
Speaker 1: Taking this the next level, if you have done a
Speaker 1: fresh tan for something like there's a wedding or something,
Speaker 1: you've got your hand, so it's not on like you
Speaker 1: do it on Friday.
Speaker 2: This is Saturday. Now. Sperm takes the tein off. It's
Speaker 2: so like a city. It can strip the tear. So
Speaker 2: if you've got a special event on, don't let them
Speaker 2: go and no sex, say it, don't spread it. That's
Speaker 2: a real thing. There you go. Yeah, how's this?
Speaker 3: I was car bloading for a CrossFit competition the next
Speaker 3: day and I didn't want to expel any energy. Not fair,
Speaker 3: Gonna save it for the clean and presses.
Speaker 1: Yeah, a lot of athletes won't do that, you know. Yeah,
Speaker 1: that was a good dig. It was hair washing night.
Speaker 1: Why am I weeling on.
Speaker 3: Board with all these excuses? It's all from my diary.
Speaker 3: Have you been reading my diary? I don't want the
Speaker 3: dog to become anxious by being on the other side
Speaker 3: of the door fit.
Speaker 1: There's nothing more putting off when your dog's whimpering too,
Speaker 1: because I think you've been murdered, but you're just having
Speaker 1: a good time.
Speaker 2: Oh, this is this is crip.
Speaker 3: My grandma had passed away, and I said I didn't
Speaker 3: want her to see it from heaven. What's gonna be
Speaker 3: a long life, isn't it? How long do you think
Speaker 3: she goes to heaven for it's not a pit stop.
Speaker 3: She's up there to stay. We had Mexican tonight. Oh,
Speaker 3: like gassie chili. There's nothing more off pudding than when
Speaker 3: you've had a huge dinner and someone wants you to
Speaker 3: roll and bounce around. Yeah, like you're just you're sitting
Speaker 3: heavy in the belly.
Speaker 2: I think like Italian Mexican are like Starfish night.
Speaker 1: Sushi's probably sushi's lighter reverse cowgirl night like that.
Speaker 2: That's probably equivalent. It's like you've had a salad, you're
Speaker 2: in fruit. I said, I have laser books tomorrow, and
Speaker 2: it isn't allowed. You can't just make that off. It's
Speaker 2: science sex. After you've had laser I think you can
Speaker 2: do what you want.
Speaker 3: It's probably say, I'm pretty sure that they tell you
Speaker 3: like no active where no stress, sweaty environments. Really yeah,
Speaker 3: and you've got to put that laser a cream on.
Speaker 3: I don't know if that's a lot. I feel like
Speaker 3: that's a fo that's a lot of laser upsell you
Speaker 3: don't which I still to this day find very strange
Speaker 3: because it's the same price as Brazilian waxing, but I.
Speaker 1: Don't pay for it. I do my own Brazilian. I'm amazing.
Speaker 1: I can wax that whole thing in two minutes.
Speaker 2: You could time me. I'd win a competition. I would
Speaker 2: love to do that. You can watch me. Why I
Speaker 2: don't want to watch you do? How are you ever
Speaker 2: going to believe me that I I reckon? I could
Speaker 2: fall Brazilian? Two minutes? How do you get the back
Speaker 2: without you seen that photo? My leg behind my head.
Speaker 2: I'm pretty pretty flexible, nah, two minutes. I on paper.
Speaker 2: I've done my own Brazilian since I was sixteen. I
Speaker 2: find that so strange.
Speaker 1: Well, before we get into the questions, we're going to
Speaker 1: do Vible unsubscribe, Kisha, do you want to kick it off?
Speaker 3: I have got an unsubscribe that I think you're gonna
Speaker 3: agree with. You know, when you purchase an Apple product
Speaker 3: and you get three months of free Apple TV and
Speaker 3: it's pretty alluring, you're like, oh, yeah, that's not bad.
Speaker 2: Ninety days pretty good. Yeah.
Speaker 3: I bought a pair of AirPods six months ago. Anyway,
Speaker 3: it was only to the other day that I was
Speaker 3: going through my subscriptions because I keep on having these
Speaker 3: weird things, like you know, when you get the email
Speaker 3: twenty five dollars.
Speaker 1: Been taken out. I happened to me today, I unsubscribe
Speaker 1: from something to this.
Speaker 2: Is what I mean?
Speaker 3: And I was like, what is what are all these
Speaker 3: weird subscriptions and they're not much money? I think it
Speaker 3: was like seven ninety nine, but they fucking get me
Speaker 3: every single time, like always forget to unsubscribe or to
Speaker 3: set a reminder to unsubscribe, so your unsubscriber is unsubscribed.
Speaker 3: I'm unsubscribing from signing up. When you are offered free
Speaker 3: trials for things, No sign up and get the free stuff.
Speaker 2: But does you have to just remember to cancel it?
Speaker 1: Yeah, but we don't remember stuff like that. I have
Speaker 1: been paying today was.
Speaker 3: Like fifty nine dollars or something renewal for a photo
Speaker 3: editing app that it just changes the.
Speaker 2: Color of the background and stuff.
Speaker 1: And I was like, how long have I been paying
Speaker 1: for I went to look at it. I was like,
Speaker 1: what app is that? It's not even on my phone anymore.
Speaker 1: So it's something that is from like five.
Speaker 2: Years ago that has been auto subscribing. Don't even use it.
Speaker 3: Okay, we all need to go through our subscriptions and
Speaker 3: unsubscribed from stuff that we're paying for that we don't use.
Speaker 3: I am a bigger busted gal. I used to keep
Speaker 3: this a secret. I don't know why. I don't care
Speaker 3: about it anymore. I'm a natural ten f So these
Speaker 3: puppies needed. It's not everyone talks to you like, oh
Speaker 3: my god, I would kill to have big boobs. Big boobs, sure,
Speaker 3: you know, I want to love my body and all
Speaker 3: that jazz.
Speaker 2: They're fucking annoying when gravity is taking over. You know,
Speaker 2: you really suit big boobs. So like, your boobs.
Speaker 3: Don't look like they're that big like you. It must
Speaker 3: just be theirs well dispersed.
Speaker 2: No, but they don't. You know some people you're like,
Speaker 2: wholl they're giant. Well, I'm getting older, so they are
Speaker 2: gradually migrating south.
Speaker 3: I was maybe they're just more across mytel So no,
Speaker 3: you suit it look bras when you're a bigger busted person.
Speaker 3: And we have come a long way. They used to
Speaker 3: be available in three colors only white, black, or nude,
Speaker 3: and they still look like they belonged to your eighty
Speaker 3: year old grandmother. We've come a long way in that sense.
Speaker 3: You can get nice lacy and pretty patterns or whatever,
Speaker 3: but something I've never been able to have, you know,
Speaker 3: cute bralettes.
Speaker 2: You wear them all the.
Speaker 3: Time and they look so cute on you and you
Speaker 3: can just get the little bit of lace hanging out
Speaker 3: of your top or whatever.
Speaker 2: Hasn't been an.
Speaker 3: Option for us buster yells. Anyway, I found this website.
Speaker 3: This is completely unsponsored. It's called Nala. I think they're
Speaker 3: based in New Zealand. They do bralettes, so they're completely
Speaker 3: wire free and they're really supportive. So they do them
Speaker 3: in actual cup sizes, because usually when you get brolettes
Speaker 3: they're like small, medium, large. I think they go up
Speaker 3: to like an H cup or something like that, right,
Speaker 3: and they're actually nice. So I have been wearing those
Speaker 3: NonStop for the past couple of weeks. Highly recommend So
Speaker 3: that is my vibe for the week I'm wearing right now.
Speaker 2: And I'm sure that small busted women can wear them too.
Speaker 3: Yeah. Yeah, they've got ones for small busted women as well.
Speaker 3: And I don't mean to be like, oh, it's only
Speaker 3: for the roster goals, but it's just that we tend
Speaker 3: to find these things a lot harder to come by totally.
Speaker 3: What is your vibe or unsubscribed from the week.
Speaker 1: My ViBe's very easy. I'm a binge netflixer. I love it.
Speaker 1: But I've watched this three seasons of this now and
Speaker 1: I'm vibing it to.
Speaker 2: You, guys, because it's officially over.
Speaker 1: I just watched the final episode of season three and
Speaker 1: I was so moved.
Speaker 2: I was bulling my eyes out, But.
Speaker 1: For all these different reasons, because it's over, because there's
Speaker 1: sad parts, like what I do with my life now?
Speaker 1: Firefly Lane Firefly Lane with Catherine Heigel and Sarah Chalk. Now,
Speaker 1: I didn't know who Sarah Chalk was before Firefly Lane.
Speaker 1: In all honesty, I feel like she was an actress
Speaker 1: that I'd seen around, but she's so brilliant in it.
Speaker 1: And honestly, the writing, the cast, the acting, the plot,
Speaker 1: character development, and like you guys know, I'm into all
Speaker 1: this stuff, but it was just truly, truly brilliant.
Speaker 3: I actually can agree with this because I have also
Speaker 3: seen it. But I'd seen posts in our Facebook group
Speaker 3: Life on Cut discussion group if you want to join
Speaker 3: it of people being like I need to discuss the
Speaker 3: ending with someone, So I felt like I was prept
Speaker 3: for it.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and I wish I don't want to give you guys.
Speaker 1: Any spoilers, but I quite liked that. It's not a
Speaker 1: traditional ending, that's.
Speaker 2: All I'll say. It was a bit real life, which
Speaker 2: I think is important.
Speaker 1: A lot of people want to go and do a
Speaker 1: bit of a fairy tale and yeah, I can't say
Speaker 1: much more because it'll ruin it, but it's it's brilliant
Speaker 1: if you're looking for a new TV series.
Speaker 2: Three seasons Fireflight Lane. Do you know what I really
Speaker 2: liked about the show?
Speaker 3: It kind of flashes back to earlier times in their lives, right,
Speaker 3: and I found myself equally invested in each of the
Speaker 3: storyline as like in each of the time periods of
Speaker 3: their life. I cared about all of them equally, which
Speaker 3: is really rare for shows like that. Also, there's an
Speaker 3: Australian actor in there, Ben Laws, and I think, yeah,
Speaker 3: I met him at a bar and BONDI a couple
Speaker 3: months ago.
Speaker 2: Lovely guy. Yeah, he's a local bird.
Speaker 3: I turned around, were at the bar at the same time,
Speaker 3: and I looked at him and you know when you
Speaker 3: have that moment where you're like, where do I know
Speaker 3: you from?
Speaker 2: And it clicked and I went, ah, I love that
Speaker 2: show that you do on Netflix. And he's like thanks, Yeah,
Speaker 2: like me with Sam Worthington when I thought I'd slept
Speaker 2: with him, but it's not. I just realized it was
Speaker 2: Sam Worvision anyway.
Speaker 3: He Let's get into your deep, dark and dirty questions.
Speaker 2: Okay, question number one.
Speaker 1: I guess it's a timely question actually because Mother's Day,
Speaker 1: so it's a bit mothered related.
Speaker 3: Okay, ladies, I need some advice. I have a bit
Speaker 3: of a troubled relationship with my mum. Nothing she has
Speaker 3: done has been actually problematic.
Speaker 1: We just simply don't get along. I find her to
Speaker 1: be excessively passive, aggressive, She belittles how I parent, and
Speaker 1: whenever I think about going to family events or talking
Speaker 1: to her, it causes me a lot of anxiety. With
Speaker 1: Mother's Day coming up this weekend, I'm feeling super uncomfortable
Speaker 1: about having to be all lovey dovey and get her.
Speaker 2: A gift and tell her she's a good mum when
Speaker 2: I don't feel that.
Speaker 1: I feel really guilty for feeling like this because I
Speaker 1: know a lot of people have it a lot worse.
Speaker 1: I'm meant to be taking my two kids to see
Speaker 1: her on Sunday for Mother's Day, and I just feel
Speaker 1: so uncomfortable. Does anyone else feel like this? What should
Speaker 1: I do?
Speaker 3: I think the thing that is really hard when you
Speaker 3: become an adult is that you can have these members
Speaker 3: of your family, and regardless of how directly you're related
Speaker 3: to them, the question of like I love this person
Speaker 3: because they raised me, or they had a big impact
Speaker 3: on my upbringing, or you know, they are my family.
Speaker 3: I love this person, but do I like them? And
Speaker 3: I think that that can be a really hard thing
Speaker 3: to battle with when either you have someone in your
Speaker 3: family that you either don't respect or you don't agree with,
Speaker 3: or you constantly argue with, and like that. I mean,
Speaker 3: I don't want to go too much into my own
Speaker 3: personal life, but there is someone in my immediate family
Speaker 3: that I very much have this type of.
Speaker 2: Relationship with, and I really struggle.
Speaker 3: So I can understand when you say, like, I feel
Speaker 3: guilty around these kind of days because I know that
Speaker 3: other people have it much worse.
Speaker 2: You know, we know that Mother's Day in particular is
Speaker 2: a really hard.
Speaker 3: Day for people who have lost their mom or who
Speaker 3: maybe never had a mom for you know, many other
Speaker 3: reasons as well. But it's okay that it's also something
Speaker 3: that you struggle with I think we are kind of
Speaker 3: told this narrative of like, this is the person that
Speaker 3: you are supposed to be the most detail connected with
Speaker 3: of anyone in your entire life. And a lot of
Speaker 3: people do have that relationship with their mum, but you
Speaker 3: just happen to not have that relationship with your mum.
Speaker 3: So the first thing is, I don't think you should
Speaker 3: feel guilty for feeling this way, because I think that
Speaker 3: actually a lot of people have quite complex relationships with
Speaker 3: the people that you're expected to love. You've said this
Speaker 3: Mother's Day, you feel a bit awkward about going and
Speaker 3: you know, getting the gift and doing the.
Speaker 2: Whole Okay, it's probably because you feel a bit like it's.
Speaker 3: Fake, Like you feel like you're putting on a bit
Speaker 3: of a show, you know, Do I think you should
Speaker 3: just suck it up and put on the show. To
Speaker 3: a degree, I actually agree.
Speaker 1: And the reason I agree with that is I just
Speaker 1: reade the question and how to think about it again.
Speaker 1: But you've said, like, nothing she's done is problematic, we
Speaker 1: just don't get along.
Speaker 2: That's a quote.
Speaker 1: Nothing she's done is problematic, we just don't get along.
Speaker 1: So I just find at the end of the day,
Speaker 1: Like she is your mother and she's brought you up
Speaker 1: and personalities don't get along.
Speaker 3: But I think that still means a lot, and it
Speaker 3: would probably still mean a lot to her.
Speaker 1: Can you suck it up for your kids to spend
Speaker 1: time with their grandma as well, because you're taking the
Speaker 1: kids there?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I think you can. It's a completely different story.
Speaker 1: If you genuinely are at wits end with each other
Speaker 1: and you hate each other and to test each other
Speaker 1: and you disagree on everything and anything, then like, no,
Speaker 1: you obviously don't have to force yourself to be in
Speaker 1: any situation. But the other thing is if it's actually
Speaker 1: giving you genuine anxiety, you need to maybe work out
Speaker 1: why and what you can do to limit that. Is
Speaker 1: there a way that the kids can spend time with
Speaker 1: your grandma and maybe you don't have to be there,
Speaker 1: maybe like I have to run some errands, would you mind,
Speaker 1: you know, having a grandma daughter day, Like just palm
Speaker 1: them off, palm them off, go get a message.
Speaker 2: But I think if she hasn't actually.
Speaker 3: Done anything, it would probably you know, difference in personalities,
Speaker 3: but it's probably gonna mean a lot to her to spend.
Speaker 2: Some time together. I do hear what you're saying.
Speaker 3: I think the part that I can put myself in
Speaker 3: this situation is that after experiencing time with a person
Speaker 3: in my life that I feel similarly to this person,
Speaker 3: I feel so fucking drained. I could go in at
Speaker 3: one hundred percent and my percentage will be on one
Speaker 3: when I leave, because I'm just sitting there being like
Speaker 3: I don't want to be having these conversations. These are
Speaker 3: so fake and phony conversations. But the one thing that
Speaker 3: I have found that has really helped do group events.
Speaker 3: I don't know if you've got siblings or in activity, Yeah, yeah,
Speaker 3: so own activity.
Speaker 2: It's a great idea. Go for a walk, do something
Speaker 2: with your kids.
Speaker 3: Basically, try and find a way to create a situation
Speaker 3: where you don't have to talk all that much about
Speaker 3: your life and you can talk about.
Speaker 2: What's going on around you.
Speaker 3: It's like small talk on steroids, and it's really uncomfortable
Speaker 3: that it has to be with your mum.
Speaker 2: It's like why you used to take Delilah.
Speaker 1: And all your dates, your first dates, because you're like,
Speaker 1: we go for a walk, it's something we can all
Speaker 1: talk about just in caves.
Speaker 3: Try and limit the amount of one on one conversation
Speaker 3: you're gonna have to be having. You've said that they
Speaker 3: can be really passive, aggressive, you feel like she belittles you,
Speaker 3: and how you parent just try and take all those
Speaker 3: conversations off the table. Talk about your kids the whole time,
Speaker 3: but not how your parents can just talk about what
Speaker 3: they're doing.
Speaker 2: At school or whatever it is.
Speaker 1: Well, the other thing is you said that you're feeling
Speaker 1: super uncomfortable about having to be a lovey dovey get.
Speaker 2: A gift tell us she's a good mum.
Speaker 3: You don't have to do that gift card Like no,
Speaker 3: because I'm like my mum.
Speaker 2: And I are really close, so I can't relate in
Speaker 2: that sense. But we are not lovey dovey at all.
Speaker 2: We'll hang out and spend time together.
Speaker 1: Do I write her a mushy No, No, She'd probably
Speaker 1: think I was dying if I did, and reverse if
Speaker 1: she wrote me something mushy or said something mushy, because
Speaker 1: we just don't have that relationship.
Speaker 3: But I don't think that's the only way to convey love.
Speaker 3: I think sometimes people get that mixed up. You can
Speaker 3: do something, bake them something. You don't have to do
Speaker 3: something that you're uncomfortable with by being like over the
Speaker 3: top mushy.
Speaker 1: So I think that's an important thing too. I think
Speaker 1: people get swept away with like it's like Valentine's Day.
Speaker 1: Sometimes people start to do things I don't want to
Speaker 1: say on a performative level, but sometimes they do things
Speaker 1: because I feel.
Speaker 2: Like they have to. But I don't think you ever
Speaker 2: feel like you have to do anything.
Speaker 3: And it's very subjective, like it's very specific to your
Speaker 3: individual relationship and see situation.
Speaker 2: Let us know how it goes. Also, I hope you're okay.
Speaker 2: A Sunday could be a tough day for a lot
Speaker 2: of people. Yeah, it is. It's a tough time a year.
Speaker 3: Question number two. I've been in a committed relationship with
Speaker 3: my partner for just over a year now. To summarize,
Speaker 3: he's perfect. I have no doubts about the fact he'll
Speaker 3: be the man I marry and share the rest of
Speaker 3: my life with. We both feel this way. My question
Speaker 3: is knowing about his past relationships. At the start in
Speaker 3: our dating phase, I never really asked him questions about
Speaker 3: his exes, how long they were together, their seriousness, if
Speaker 3: they met the parents, blah blah blah. Now we're deep
Speaker 3: into our relationship and I feel nothing but secure with him,
Speaker 3: so it feels odd to bring it up. But I'm
Speaker 3: finding myself being curious about his past relationships and I
Speaker 3: just want to know. Maybe it comes from a deep
Speaker 3: insecurity down in me because I really don't like the
Speaker 3: thought of him being with other girls in the past.
Speaker 3: Is it normal to want to know? Or does wanting
Speaker 3: to know only stem from insecurity? Do I need to know?
Speaker 3: Should I ask?
Speaker 2: And if so? How?
Speaker 1: This is interesting for me because I want to know
Speaker 1: about all my partner's exes. I love that, and that
Speaker 1: doesn't stem in ansity or question. That doesn't stem from insecurity.
Speaker 1: It's just playing curiosity. I want to know who the
Speaker 1: person was that my love loved before me, like the
Speaker 1: person that I'm weird that I'm in love with.
Speaker 2: Who was the person you loved before me? What were
Speaker 2: they like? It's a part of their journey, and it's
Speaker 2: whether you want to think of it or not. It
Speaker 2: helps shape who someone is, what they go through.
Speaker 1: That kind of thing. I find it really interesting. But
Speaker 1: I'm very good at putting these pieces of information into
Speaker 1: segments and categories and putting them away when I need to.
Speaker 1: I don't think about them. So I find out that
Speaker 1: information because I'm curious. I don't do anything with it.
Speaker 1: I don't stalk them, I don't look it up. I
Speaker 1: actually never think about it again. But it's a curiosity
Speaker 1: in the early days of when I've met someone and
Speaker 1: I will now I'll ask Ben still if a question
Speaker 1: pops up about an X or I'll ask and he'll answer,
Speaker 1: and then we move on. It's just a plain curiosity
Speaker 1: for me.
Speaker 3: Have you ever had an awkward situation where like, something
Speaker 3: about an X has come up with any boyfriends, not
Speaker 3: just Ben, and it's caused an argument or something, though
Speaker 3: not really because it's always it doesn't stem from jealousy,
Speaker 3: and I think that's really obvious. It stems from curiosity.
Speaker 3: I think that that could be the main reason that
Speaker 3: you may not struggle in that sense, because you are
Speaker 3: a weirdly not jealous person.
Speaker 2: Yeah, so not jealous. It's quite strange. I, on the
Speaker 2: other hand, you how.
Speaker 1: We spoke at the start, like get shit on so
Speaker 1: many times you don't care anymore. I, on the other hand,
Speaker 1: could not be more opposite about wanting to ask questions
Speaker 1: about x's And the reason is because I've done it
Speaker 1: in the past, and it sends me a bit fucking crazy.
Speaker 3: Yeah, because not for everyone I am, unfortunately, and I
Speaker 3: wish I had better self control. I could work for
Speaker 3: the FBI. Would you get social Security? I can find
Speaker 3: out a lot about a person through I don't want
Speaker 3: to be like this anymore. And that's specifically why I
Speaker 3: wouldn't do this now, because I've done it in the past.
Speaker 3: Not only has it caused a lot of arguments and
Speaker 3: brought up some like fleshy wounds that they don't necessarily
Speaker 3: want to talk about, and they can be confused as
Speaker 3: to why you're asking the questions as well, because I
Speaker 3: think in my situations, they thought I was trying to
Speaker 3: get information to use against them, and I went a
Speaker 3: little bit cray cray thinking about them experiencing things with
Speaker 3: other people, and you know, whether they loved them more
Speaker 3: than they loved me, or why did they take them
Speaker 3: on a ski holiday and I've never been taken on
Speaker 3: a ski holiday. Why did he cook her lobster that
Speaker 3: he caught in the ocean, you know, like in.
Speaker 2: Nineteen eighty seven, stuph and shit like that. So I
Speaker 2: don't know.
Speaker 3: My advice is very different. I think to save yourself.
Speaker 3: Don't ask.
Speaker 2: Yeah, it depends on who you are as a person.
Speaker 1: It's a really good point because and I guess the
Speaker 1: why as well, like what are you going to do
Speaker 1: with that information? So for me, I don't ever find
Speaker 1: out names.
Speaker 2: I couldn't care.
Speaker 1: Less about the names because I don't want to know
Speaker 1: who it is to look at what they look like.
Speaker 2: I always I'm like, how did you guys meet? How
Speaker 2: long were you together? What was your relationship? Like why'd
Speaker 2: you break up?
Speaker 1: But I'm curious about that, especially why did the relationship
Speaker 1: not work to meet? I find that really because I
Speaker 1: think it tells a lot about a person where they're at,
Speaker 1: what they're looking for, are they ready to move on
Speaker 1: a lot of those questions, But usually for me that
Speaker 1: comes earlier on. So you said you've been with your
Speaker 1: partner quite a while, but now you're curious. I still
Speaker 1: think it's okay to ask the questions if you want,
Speaker 1: but be really honest about it.
Speaker 2: Just literally say what you said to us.
Speaker 3: Hey, I do not know why this has popped into
Speaker 3: my head, but I was just sort of thinking about
Speaker 3: your life before me, like what was I like, I
Speaker 3: think it can provide you with context around certain things,
Speaker 3: like let's say that they were cheated on in a
Speaker 3: past relationship. It might explain why they have, you know,
Speaker 3: an insecurity about whether they were.
Speaker 2: Going to be cheated on in the future.
Speaker 3: You know, there are certain things that I'm like, oh,
Speaker 3: could give you a bit of clarity on some of
Speaker 3: their behavior. I think you need to have a real
Speaker 3: look in the mirror and say, what type of person
Speaker 3: am I?
Speaker 2: Am I the type of person who's gonna go a.
Speaker 3: Bit weird from this information, or am I going to
Speaker 3: be able to like just curiously find out a bit
Speaker 3: more about what makes my partner my partner?
Speaker 2: You know what's wild? Just realized this.
Speaker 1: Now Ben doesn't want to know about my past, Like
Speaker 1: he doesn't need to have the vodka, is it? No,
Speaker 1: He's a bit like, oh, it's in the past, you know,
Speaker 1: like it doesn't bother me. And I get upset the
Speaker 1: fact that he doesn't. I'm like, how do you not
Speaker 1: want to know? I was like, don't you want to know?
Speaker 3: Like why I am the way I am or all
Speaker 3: the things I've been through or you know, And He's like, well,
Speaker 3: I just care about now in our future, which I
Speaker 3: get and I respect.
Speaker 2: Why did you think you want to tell him? Though?
Speaker 1: So he understands why I'm a fucking head case sometimes.
Speaker 2: Like, Babe, if you knew what happened to me, maybe
Speaker 2: this would be okay. Why I'm actually like this, Maybe
Speaker 2: you would know why I don't want you to have
Speaker 2: a double life. And I'm just double checking that you
Speaker 2: don't have a family in Scotland. But I don't know
Speaker 2: when you need to dump your other fiance now, because
Speaker 2: I've already done that. You know those vibes, no, But
Speaker 2: I just I don't know. I guess it's it's.
Speaker 1: Such a huge part of what shaped me and what
Speaker 1: I've been through and the reason I've done a lot
Speaker 1: of things is off the back of different traumas that
Speaker 1: have happened to me in the past. And you know,
Speaker 1: some have spoken about in the podcast and some have
Speaker 1: kept a secret that are just my own. And I
Speaker 1: think there's a level of me being a woman being like,
Speaker 1: why don't you want to know why I am like
Speaker 1: I am? And he's like, I don't want to ever
Speaker 1: upset you, but it doesn't matter to me because I
Speaker 1: just want to know who you are with your life
Speaker 1: with me. But it's funny because that's the reverse situation.
Speaker 1: But I genuinely don't think there's anything wrong with asking
Speaker 1: a partner about their past.
Speaker 2: That is just me.
Speaker 1: The only reason I would say don't do it is
Speaker 1: if what Keisha said and you're going to spiral into
Speaker 1: like a psycho stalker obsession, like ask them for your
Speaker 1: own knowledge, not to go and look up this person,
Speaker 1: not to do a deep dive, just so you know
Speaker 1: whatever it is you want to know.
Speaker 3: All right, Last question, I've been talking to a guy
Speaker 3: for months now and we just recently went on two dates.
Speaker 3: He seems genuine and in my eyes, we seemed to
Speaker 3: really get along, although then one day he just stopped replying.
Speaker 3: Is it reasonable to ask him why he stopped replying
Speaker 3: or just forget about it and move on.
Speaker 2: Well, I feel like we've all done the like seven
Speaker 2: texts in a row, haven't we. You know, where no
Speaker 2: one applies?
Speaker 3: He keep sending, Yeah, maybe your phone's not working. I
Speaker 3: don't know if you've gone out of service.
Speaker 2: You dropped your phone in the when you're rescuing that kitten.
Speaker 3: Yeah, Like you know what's fuch when you do it
Speaker 3: on multiple platforms, When you message Instagram, text WhatsApp, Facebook.
Speaker 1: Okay, this is my advice, and I'm coming in pretty confidently,
Speaker 1: pretty hot.
Speaker 2: You've been on two dates, he's ghosted you. I'd leave it.
Speaker 2: I would leave it. They are not worth it. Sometimes
Speaker 2: silence and no message is a message. Yeah, you can't
Speaker 2: misinterpret silence. You can't.
Speaker 1: And someone not messaging you is sending you a message
Speaker 1: of I don't want to talk to you. And I
Speaker 1: know that sounds horrible, and maybe maybe something happened. I mean,
Speaker 1: like that's probably a one percenter that something's happened, and
Speaker 1: they'll circle back. But I think at the end of
Speaker 1: the day is like, let's not overthink it. People have
Speaker 1: every which way to contact us now if they want to,
Speaker 1: and if their phone did drop into the ocean, they
Speaker 1: have Instagram or WhatsApp or messaging on the desktop, like
Speaker 1: everything's linked. There is always a way to contact someone, now,
Speaker 1: unless you've gone camping in the Amazon, which you'd probably
Speaker 1: tell someone if you did that.
Speaker 2: You know what, though, You're like.
Speaker 3: Sometimes and the reason that ghosting I think is such
Speaker 3: a fucking problem is because what it naturally does is
Speaker 3: that it makes you create a scenario in your head
Speaker 3: as to why that person has stopped wanting to be
Speaker 3: in contact with you, because in your brain everything was
Speaker 3: great until it wasn't. And so what we naturally do
Speaker 3: is we kind of feed our own insecurity into being like, oh, well,
Speaker 3: they must have stopped doing this because of what I said,
Speaker 3: or because of how I acted, or maybe they didn't
Speaker 3: like this certain thing about me, or you know, et cetera.
Speaker 2: And that's why I.
Speaker 3: Think ghosting is really unfair, because when you don't have
Speaker 3: the context, you feel the gaps yourself and you'll often
Speaker 3: fill them with things that you don't like about yourself.
Speaker 3: And that's why it can make you feel like your
Speaker 3: ego is so bruised.
Speaker 1: Well, it is bruised because it's someone saying I don't
Speaker 1: want you in my life anymore.
Speaker 2: So it's yeah, it's pretty shitty.
Speaker 3: That being said, I actually text someone who had ghosted.
Speaker 3: This is in the last probably five months. We'd been
Speaker 3: hanging out, we'd been talking, everything was going great, guns right,
Speaker 3: and I can't I think he tried to soft fade me.
Speaker 2: But I was an eager little thing, and.
Speaker 3: I I didn't read the room until it got to
Speaker 3: the point where I sent a message being like, am
Speaker 3: I not reading the room here, or like you.
Speaker 2: If you had to ask, if you read the room,
Speaker 2: you're probably not.
Speaker 3: You just not want to hang out with me. And
Speaker 3: I got very dismissive things. Right fast forward a couple months.
Speaker 3: We hadn't spoken for a while, and I think this
Speaker 3: is the main part, is that you have to get
Speaker 3: to a point where you don't care if they don't reply,
Speaker 3: which I did get to. And this person was quite
Speaker 3: substantially older than me, and I was like, this is
Speaker 3: really fucked that, Like you're at this age and you
Speaker 3: still think that that stuff is okay. And I sent
Speaker 3: him a message and it wasn't like an aggressive one.
Speaker 3: I just said, hey, I was actually listening to a
Speaker 3: podcast that was talking about it, and that's what I
Speaker 3: put in the message. I was like, I am listening
Speaker 3: to a podcast that has encouraged me to send you
Speaker 3: a message and tell you that it really upset me
Speaker 3: that you ghosted me. I hope by me sending you
Speaker 3: this message it makes you not do it to the
Speaker 3: next person. And I was in a place where I
Speaker 3: was like, I don't give a shit if he doesn't reply.
Speaker 2: I don't actually know why I sent it.
Speaker 3: I was probably just having a bit of a down day,
Speaker 3: and I wanted a little bit of like a At
Speaker 3: least I got the last word, you know. Anyway, I
Speaker 3: got like the six paragraph reply with an apology. And
Speaker 3: so in that sense, you're asking, like, should I message them?
Speaker 3: You can, but you also need to be aware of
Speaker 3: the fact that they might not reply and you will
Speaker 3: look more crazy.
Speaker 2: And I guess, ask.
Speaker 3: Yourself, why why do you care so much what this
Speaker 3: person that you don't know very well thinks of you,
Speaker 3: and why they didn't want to pursue you.
Speaker 2: Like, your confidence and validation and.
Speaker 3: Who you are shouldn't stem from what a stranger who
Speaker 3: can't be bothered to give you the time of day.
Speaker 2: Thinks of you. That's what I think, And it did
Speaker 2: take me a long time to get to that point.
Speaker 2: I've been the seven text. I've been the I thought
Speaker 2: we had a great time, where we go wrong? You
Speaker 2: said you call me. I've been that person.
Speaker 1: But I think you get to a point where you're like, well,
Speaker 1: it's your loss. I don't know if as a listener
Speaker 1: out there right now that hasn't been like ghosted or ignored.
Speaker 1: At some point, I think we all are going to
Speaker 1: go through that because it's far more prevalent than we think.
Speaker 1: But if you can be confident in who you are
Speaker 1: and what you've got to offer, that's enough. It's their
Speaker 1: loss that they don't see that. But you don't have to.
Speaker 1: It's not your job to convince someone of your worth
Speaker 1: and how great your relationship will be. It is not
Speaker 1: your job to say this is what I can offer you,
Speaker 1: because the right person won't need convincing.
Speaker 3: I mean, that's all nice, and I agree wholeheartedly with
Speaker 3: all of it, but I do think that's a lot
Speaker 3: easier said than done.
Speaker 2: I don't like you, don't y'all. No two dates in
Speaker 2: and some dickhead doesn't want to talk to you anymore.
Speaker 2: But they were better.
Speaker 3: They were talking for months, and you don't know whether
Speaker 3: that was like phone calls every night.
Speaker 2: You don't know how.
Speaker 3: Progressed the person who wrote this in felt like their
Speaker 3: relationship was. It cuts you deep and you feel shit
Speaker 3: about yourself.
Speaker 1: Yeah, and yeah, I mean, I'm going on my rant
Speaker 1: because I hate people that do the wrong thing by people,
Speaker 1: upset people's feelings. I do, and of course like I
Speaker 1: have message people and ask for a reason to any
Speaker 1: If you really feel like you can't move on because
Speaker 1: of it, then one hundred percent you can. You're entitled
Speaker 1: to ask them, but as Kisha just said, just be prepared.
Speaker 2: That they might not write back again. Are you gonna
Speaker 2: feel worse? You've got to not care.
Speaker 3: You've got to be in a position where you don't
Speaker 3: care whether they reply or not, and you don't care
Speaker 3: if you think that their perspective of you will change. Basically,
Speaker 3: for me, I got to the point where I was like,
Speaker 3: I don't care what you think of it. Like I
Speaker 3: was in a good place by that point, and I
Speaker 3: was like, I don't care what you think of me,
Speaker 3: but you're too old to be doing this, Like you
Speaker 3: need to actually know that you need to be accountable
Speaker 3: for this stuff. And I'm sorry that he goes to you,
Speaker 3: because you know.
Speaker 2: What the other thing is.
Speaker 1: I'm just thinking about now, like when you said, Keisha,
Speaker 1: you just got a full page letter back of like
Speaker 1: an apology. If you get a response, it's gonna be nice.
Speaker 1: Like it's not gonna be nasty. Everyone's gonna say, oh,
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry I got back in my ex. So
Speaker 1: I'm so sorry.
Speaker 2: I'm just not in the right place. It's always gonna
Speaker 2: be something nice.
Speaker 1: It's now, no one's ever gonna say I didn't like you,
Speaker 1: I don't like your personality, I wasn't attracted to you,
Speaker 1: I didn't like ours. No one's going to be nasty.
Speaker 1: So then I guess what else are you going to
Speaker 1: get from that? Because chances are their reasoning is just
Speaker 1: being diplomatic and polite.
Speaker 2: But it could be true. And that's what I mean.
Speaker 3: At least then you are feeling the blank puzzle piece
Speaker 3: of When we get ghosted, we typically think of the
Speaker 3: worst of ourselves as the reason why they've done it.
Speaker 3: At least then you have another reason. You can get
Speaker 3: a little bit of closure out of these kind of things,
Speaker 3: And I definitely felt like, oh I got a bit
Speaker 3: of closure. I just think that you you need to
Speaker 3: go into these situations in a position where you don't
Speaker 3: care about whether that closure is going to come or not.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I just don't take ghosting to heart because it
Speaker 1: can be really hurtful, But I think it's a really
Speaker 1: powerful thing to say cool, that's on you.
Speaker 2: You're not ready for whatever reason. I'll keep on my
Speaker 2: own journey. Well, I think that we've talked shit for
Speaker 2: a bit too. You need to cut.
Speaker 3: If you have a question that you would like for
Speaker 3: Laura and Britt to answer. This is just a temporary thing.
Speaker 3: I won't be here for every day that Laura is
Speaker 3: doing Ninja Warrior. She also looks in the background anyway,
Speaker 3: She's always around. But if you do have a question,
Speaker 3: send it on into Instagram. Life Uncut Podcast. I will
Speaker 3: pop the links to the Facebook group in the show notes.
Speaker 3: And we are on TikTok even though Britt, who doesn't
Speaker 3: know what chat gpt is, we're trying to keep up.
Speaker 2: With the top. You don't need to know what chat
Speaker 2: gpt is to top the tick.
Speaker 3: Yes, sure, I will also put a link about TikTok
Speaker 3: in the show notes and you know the drill.
Speaker 1: Thanks producing Keicha for coming on today. You're an absolute
Speaker 1: dream boat. We love when you pop in and do
Speaker 1: your little surprise. It's not a surprised to me, but
Speaker 1: to the listeners.
Speaker 2: Your surprise hosting. Stop flirting with me.
Speaker 1: No, it's my flaky skewes, isn't it giving you the
Speaker 1: eyes with my skin flakes off across the room. Don't
Speaker 1: forget to you, Mum tea dad too, dog tea friends
Speaker 1: and share the love be.
Speaker 2: Gairls We Love Love
Speaker 3: Eight