Speaker 1: Life on Cut acknowledges the traditional custodians of country whose
Speaker 1: lands were never seated. We pay our respects to their
Speaker 1: elders past and present.
Speaker 2: Always was, always will be Aboriginal Land. This episode was
Speaker 2: recorded on de rug Wallamuta Land.
Speaker 1: Hi guys, and welcome back to another episode of Life
Speaker 1: on Cut.
Speaker 3: I'm Brittany and I'm Laura. Today's Sandstead. What's funny, Laura?
Speaker 1: Okay, I've tried to start this three times and Laura's
Speaker 1: having a little laughing fit every single time, but I
Speaker 1: can't be sure.
Speaker 3: Why do you know why?
Speaker 2: Because we're ten days away from Christmas, but it still
Speaker 2: feels like February.
Speaker 3: Okay.
Speaker 1: I literally had this thing this morning where I was like, oh,
Speaker 1: I wanted to listen back to Okay, I'm not I
Speaker 1: shouldn't say this.
Speaker 3: Wanted to listen back to my own podcast. I wanted.
Speaker 2: I really felt like because the content is fire, Yeah,
Speaker 2: well that's why.
Speaker 3: I just really felt like a laugh.
Speaker 1: And I was like, I'm going to go back and
Speaker 1: listen to Joann McNally's episode, and I was like when
Speaker 1: I was like, it was a couple of months ago
Speaker 1: and I was trying to scroll through, I should have
Speaker 1: just searched it.
Speaker 3: But I didn't think it was that far back.
Speaker 1: I was like, I'll go back a month or two
Speaker 1: maybe to August, and I was like, August kept going.
Speaker 1: Joanne McNally was in April. It feels like yesterday, but
Speaker 1: it was the start of the year.
Speaker 2: Yeah, I know, And I've said this to you before.
Speaker 2: As we get older, time goes quicker, no concept of
Speaker 2: time none.
Speaker 3: Do you know when you have kids?
Speaker 2: Though, I think that kids are a very good daily
Speaker 2: reminder of how quickly time is going, because.
Speaker 3: All of a sudden, at Uni, he's got a dummy day.
Speaker 2: Yeah, because every day you wake up tired and you're like,
Speaker 2: oh my god, is this going to be my life
Speaker 2: of the next forever, for the rest of the next nineteens.
Speaker 4: You're about saying that it's like the years are short,
Speaker 4: but the days along.
Speaker 3: Is that a parenting thing? I feel like I've heard that.
Speaker 3: I think it is.
Speaker 2: It's all around like the phases of parenthood, because like
Speaker 2: what you can get into like a phase like right now,
Speaker 2: as I said on Tuesday's episode, we're in the dummy phase.
Speaker 2: We're in the waning phase. It's not a great phase,
Speaker 2: and you think it's never going to end, and then
Speaker 2: all of a sudden you're in another phase. You know,
Speaker 2: it just goes in these circles. I must listen to
Speaker 2: this and think I hate parenting. No, I think you
Speaker 2: just say things that people don't say.
Speaker 1: I think you're not negative about parenting, but you don't
Speaker 1: just say the good stuff, which I think is important
Speaker 1: because people know there's good stuff, but a lot of
Speaker 1: people don't say the stuff that bothers people.
Speaker 2: I like, I cannot even tell you how much I
Speaker 2: love being a mum. I love being a mum. I
Speaker 2: love my kids so much. But it's a thing that
Speaker 2: goes without saying. It's like, I feel like I don't
Speaker 2: need to say that to you all on constant repeat that.
Speaker 3: I love being a mum. I love my children like
Speaker 3: I'm disgusting.
Speaker 2: I lay in bed and I like stroke their faces
Speaker 2: and I try and like kiss their little fat cheeks
Speaker 2: and put their fat cheeks inside my mouth.
Speaker 3: And it's weird.
Speaker 2: You get you become so weird as a mum, but
Speaker 2: also simultaneously there's moments where you hate it.
Speaker 4: I've just completely remembered this. I forgot to tell you
Speaker 4: the other day. I was lucky enough to come along
Speaker 4: to pick up Marley and Lola from daycare, and a
Speaker 4: couple of weeks before you'd spoken about how you can
Speaker 4: have that real intimacy with a kid that's not romantic,
Speaker 4: Marley reached out, grabbed the side of my face and.
Speaker 3: Brushed my hair. And I have never felt oxidosin flow
Speaker 3: my brain more quickly than that moment.
Speaker 1: I was like, I feel like that when the messuse
Speaker 1: touches me. That's why I get massages.
Speaker 3: Wasn't there an article about that? Yeah, there was long
Speaker 3: distance relationship. So you go and get massages quote unquote,
Speaker 3: just to be touched.
Speaker 2: You wrap them up in a little ball and you
Speaker 2: just like want to breathe in every part of their
Speaker 2: body and like suck their toes and stuff if you could.
Speaker 2: But then at the same time they do things that
Speaker 2: drive you absolutely fricking mental.
Speaker 1: I do that with Delilah. You suck a toes smells
Speaker 1: like popcorn.
Speaker 3: I suck it. Oh her feet smelling popcorn.
Speaker 2: I like it.
Speaker 1: Like I'm okay, now, I'm not a mum, But I
Speaker 1: do have a question because I saw this article going viral,
Speaker 1: and I have feelings there was just this woman online
Speaker 1: from the UK I think irrelevant. But she she has
Speaker 1: two little kids, ones three I think, and one is
Speaker 1: like under one I think eight or nine months, and
Speaker 1: she's like, Hey, I'm not getting my little kid a
Speaker 1: present this year for Christmas from anyone because it's hard times,
Speaker 1: hard financial times, and also the kid's not gonna remember,
Speaker 1: They're not gonna know.
Speaker 3: And a lot of people kicked off.
Speaker 1: I was like, fair, if times are tight with money,
Speaker 1: I don't think you have to buy an under one
Speaker 1: year old a present, because you could give them a
Speaker 1: cardboard box.
Speaker 3: Then gonna be stoked.
Speaker 1: I could not believe people kicking off about the fact
Speaker 1: that she wasn't going to buy her kid a present.
Speaker 1: They're not going to experience it. But you, as the
Speaker 1: only mum in this room, Laura, what are your thoughts
Speaker 1: on that.
Speaker 2: I feel like this is a perfect example that people
Speaker 2: kick off about things that they shouldn't.
Speaker 3: Care about, like this is what this is.
Speaker 2: No. I did the same thing with Marley and Lola
Speaker 2: for birthday parties. So we did like a big birthday
Speaker 2: party for Marley when she was one year old, and
Speaker 2: then when Lola turned one, we were like.
Speaker 3: Let's have cupcakes and have Ann and Kate over.
Speaker 1: We didn't do anything, and didn't you forget one not forget,
Speaker 1: but you did it like two days late or something. Once.
Speaker 2: Yeah, we didn't do it on her birthday. We did
Speaker 2: it when it was convenient for everyone, and it wasn't. No,
Speaker 2: she doesn't know, and that's what we realized. It's actually twelve.
Speaker 2: She does not know she's really twelve. We did Marley's
Speaker 2: one year old birthday party, but realistically it was for us,
Speaker 2: you know, I mean, it wasn't for her. She did No,
Speaker 2: she didn't care. She has no concept of it, doesn't
Speaker 2: remember it. But then at the same time, it actually
Speaker 2: wasn't that enjoyabooks. I spent the whole time running around,
Speaker 2: like making sure everyone had food. I did the cleanup,
Speaker 2: like I was the one who had to do everything.
Speaker 2: So I was like, who was that for? What did
Speaker 2: I do that for? And yeah, we have photos from
Speaker 2: one year old birthday party, be like who cares? So
Speaker 2: then when it was Lola's we kind of just did
Speaker 2: things very small, had cupcakes, and I mean we still
Speaker 2: got her at present. The only thing I do question
Speaker 2: about that, and I say, this is a second child
Speaker 2: slash middle child. Do you then grow up with immense
Speaker 2: middle child second child syndrome, because it does create a
Speaker 2: flow and effect. And when you are the hand me
Speaker 2: down child, which is what I was, you always feel
Speaker 2: a little bit less loved.
Speaker 1: I am the third child, I'm third out of four,
Speaker 1: and I definitely never felt that. But we were handing
Speaker 1: me down children as well. But my problem was my
Speaker 1: older brothers and boys. Well my older siblings are boys,
Speaker 1: so like that's why why I was a tomboy, because
Speaker 1: everything got handed down was the boys stuff. But I
Speaker 1: personally don't feel that. But my sister Sherry, so she's
Speaker 1: the fourth kid. Every year, you know, you get around
Speaker 1: the Christmas time around the family gets together and you
Speaker 1: always go through like old photos. You always talk about
Speaker 1: old memories, like it's always that walk down memory lane.
Speaker 1: And we were looking at all these old photos of
Speaker 1: all of the kids in these albums and it was
Speaker 1: so like nostalgic and so nice, and all the kids
Speaker 1: would getting their photos out, and Mitch the eldest, was
Speaker 1: going through his and there were like five albums of
Speaker 1: photos of just him. Then it was Dane's the next kid,
Speaker 1: and then there were a little bit less of him.
Speaker 3: Me was a bit harder.
Speaker 1: I maybe had one album and then poor Sherry by
Speaker 1: the time the fourth kid came, because mom had like
Speaker 1: four kids under six, Sheridan was like, where are my albums?
Speaker 1: We could find one photo? No, not an album one.
Speaker 1: She's like, am I as a kid?
Speaker 2: One?
Speaker 3: Because mom shows adopted at five? Mom's like, I'm too busy.
Speaker 3: I had By that point, you had three other kids.
Speaker 1: You've done it all one hundred times, and so I
Speaker 1: think in that capacity, the fourth or the third or
Speaker 1: the fourth kid definitely gets left behind a little bit.
Speaker 2: I would say, though in your case, brit I would
Speaker 2: say it's a slightly different experience because you had two
Speaker 2: older brothers.
Speaker 3: You were the first girl.
Speaker 2: So that's still an exciting difference for a lot of parents,
Speaker 2: especially when you've had two children, you're having a third
Speaker 2: and it ends up being a different gender. No, gender
Speaker 2: shouldn't matter, but for a lot of people it does.
Speaker 2: It's why people have bloody gender reveals and stuff like
Speaker 2: so fresh Start. Yeah, So I would say that you
Speaker 2: probably wouldn't feel the same as someone who is a
Speaker 2: second or third child to two older sisters or one
Speaker 2: older sister, and that being like the hand me down
Speaker 2: kind of process.
Speaker 3: Anyway, that's enough.
Speaker 5: I think it's good for them. I think it builds resils.
Speaker 5: It's resilience building. Okay, So we was speaking of resilience building.
Speaker 5: Last night we went out to the RSL Club, and
Speaker 5: part of the RSL Club, they do a raffle on
Speaker 5: Tuesday night, and because it's pre Christmas, it's a really
Speaker 5: substantial raffle. So the raffle was the very first person
Speaker 5: to get a ticket.
Speaker 2: Drawn won this like toy package which was like the
Speaker 2: value of one thousand dollars worth of toys, right, and
Speaker 2: then there was a few hams and a pork that
Speaker 2: were going right, So like if you didn't get the toys,
Speaker 2: you could win one of three hams, or you could
Speaker 2: win a.
Speaker 3: Pork still a great price. It lives hands mate, I
Speaker 3: was all. I was like, I would love to win
Speaker 3: a ham or a pork.
Speaker 2: That's Christmas Day done anyway, So we all buy raffle tickets.
Speaker 3: There's a couple of tables around us.
Speaker 2: There's not a lot of people in the RSL Club,
Speaker 2: so like, your chances are high of winning something we
Speaker 2: put on.
Speaker 1: I just imagine you there were your tickets, Like, come on,
Speaker 1: I'm like eleven guys.
Speaker 2: I'm not someone who candone gambling, but when it comes
Speaker 2: to raffles, I am like Queen Raffle. I am the
Speaker 2: woman who when I'm in my eighties, I'm going to
Speaker 2: buy that little booklet where you could win a house.
Speaker 3: That'll be me. I do I do that. I love it.
Speaker 1: I'm always into those, A sucker. I always wonder if
Speaker 1: they actually even are really given away.
Speaker 3: A raffle. I'm there, fifty bucks, put me down. Love it? Okay.
Speaker 2: So anyway, we're there with all our little ripedapt tickets
Speaker 2: sitting there, and the first ticket gets called and it's
Speaker 2: the thousand dollars worth of toys.
Speaker 3: We did not win that.
Speaker 2: Marley may the absolute fucking tantrum that she threw. She
Speaker 2: was hysterical. She hasn't quite understood or grasped the concept
Speaker 2: of raffles. Every other child was like a little bit disappointed.
Speaker 2: Marley was like inconsolably crying and sobbing for about fifteen minutes,
Speaker 2: to the point where the family that won the toys
Speaker 2: was like, oh, well, just you can have one. We
Speaker 2: don't need all these toys. Have one that's age appropriate
Speaker 2: for her. And I was like Nope, you will not
Speaker 2: give her a toy because this is a moment in
Speaker 2: life that she needs. She needs to know that she's
Speaker 2: not always a winner. I'm glad you did that. I
Speaker 2: was like, this is resilience building, this is a lesson
Speaker 2: that fell into our lap. But she screamed for literally
Speaker 2: twenty minutes on and off. It was a fifteen minutes solid.
Speaker 2: But then the reason why she cried for another five
Speaker 2: minutes was because Mamma won a ham and I was so.
Speaker 3: Excited, and she walked up with her ticket and she
Speaker 3: was like, oh dude, what a ham? Were you like, well,
Speaker 3: mom wants a ham? Oh my god, congratulations, thank you
Speaker 3: Ronn one of my Christmas ham.
Speaker 1: I haven't won anything since I won the year five
Speaker 1: Easter Hat parade.
Speaker 3: That was a time. Mom has so much main character energy.
Speaker 4: Correlation doesn't imply causation, But here I'm saying she had
Speaker 4: a one year old birthday party.
Speaker 3: And now she's a brat when she doesn't win.
Speaker 2: Yeah. No, it was a moment in my life where
Speaker 2: I was like, Okay, I have a very spoilt child
Speaker 2: and she has been and I don't mean spoilers in
Speaker 2: that we don't go out of our way to spoil her.
Speaker 2: But she has had zero nothing has happened in her
Speaker 2: life at all at the beautiful age of four and
Speaker 2: a half years old.
Speaker 3: That has been a resilience building that she has. She
Speaker 3: has lived a good life.
Speaker 1: You do, and I'm not saying this in a bad way,
Speaker 1: but you do buy her a lot of random presence.
Speaker 1: I know there's a rule with her and your family
Speaker 1: that like, if you go to the airport, you'll always
Speaker 1: buy them present. And Matt and I were at the
Speaker 1: airport not long ago.
Speaker 3: When you say rule I do that, Matt is very no.
Speaker 3: Well that was it.
Speaker 1: Matt and I were watching it go down from a distance,
Speaker 1: so you're like, I'm just gonna go get a packet
Speaker 1: of chips and a coke from the shop in the airport.
Speaker 1: So we were just sitting there waiting and then Marley
Speaker 1: runs over. He goes, watch this, within two seconds, she's
Speaker 1: gonna be able to pick a toy. He's like, it's
Speaker 1: a nightmare, and I was like, surely not. She already
Speaker 1: bought her a toy like twenty minutes ago. She's like
Speaker 1: watch she runs over and you're like, yeah.
Speaker 3: Hunt picked what you would And I was like, this
Speaker 3: is the problem. It was, it's just creating a monster.
Speaker 2: Yeah, look, I find it hard to say no to her.
Speaker 2: But also I have realized that I use it and
Speaker 2: this is bad and I'm being heaps better.
Speaker 3: I use getting a present.
Speaker 2: So, for example, when we were doing the live shows
Speaker 2: and I was traveling heaps, if I go to an airport,
Speaker 2: if I'm away, if Mummy goes on like on a
Speaker 2: plane trip without her, but she gets a little thing
Speaker 2: from the airport, and that's kind of become.
Speaker 3: That was like a thing that we started doing.
Speaker 2: And it was infrequent because I rarely ever went to
Speaker 2: an airport without the kids. But then during live shows
Speaker 2: of November, I was going every couple of day and
Speaker 2: that's been an increasing thing this year. So it's a
Speaker 2: bad precedent to set. But at the same time, it's
Speaker 2: compensating for the fact that I wasn't home. So it
Speaker 2: feeds into this guilt that I have around not being
Speaker 2: present and so yeah, literally buying their love. Thank you
Speaker 2: for bringing that up for me. It's pard, Laura, I
Speaker 2: understand where that comes from. But I've got an idea
Speaker 2: start bringing home Christmas hams.
Speaker 3: Okay bean. That is the end of the year.
Speaker 1: This is one of my favorite times of year, right
Speaker 1: the Google searchers.
Speaker 2: I find it such a funny. I mean, because everyone
Speaker 2: does it right. It's like the Dictionary does, like the
Speaker 2: word of the year, which no one even knew what
Speaker 2: that word was.
Speaker 3: It was like rizz or something.
Speaker 1: How did they come up with that? Does every like
Speaker 1: I just picture a room of like dumbledores in a library,
Speaker 1: and everyone brings a word and then they just say
Speaker 1: which one they thinks the best.
Speaker 2: Who knows, honestly, maybe it's like a most Google or whatever.
Speaker 2: Whoever's asked that question. If you have the answer to it,
Speaker 2: slide into the DMS, we would love to know. But
Speaker 2: also like Spotify rap lists, it's every single thing puts
Speaker 2: out there like this is how engaged you are with
Speaker 2: our content.
Speaker 3: I mean an assumption that one.
Speaker 1: Of the top things to be googled would have been
Speaker 1: something like Donald Trump or Kim Kardashian.
Speaker 2: My opinion, Kim Kardashian has lost the shine recently. I
Speaker 2: think if I was going to pick someone for this year,
Speaker 2: I would have thought Taylor Swift would have been especially
Speaker 2: within Australia with the aristol. I would have thought that
Speaker 2: she would have been one of the highest Google searchers.
Speaker 2: I think this list is very surprising. I reckon we
Speaker 2: can rattle through what they are in terms of like news.
Speaker 2: I don't think the news things will be surprising because
Speaker 2: every single one of these things has had quite a
Speaker 2: big impact socially. Some of them I think are very problematic,
Speaker 2: but we'll get into it. The number one most googled
Speaker 2: news search this year of twenty twenty three, drumroll please,
Speaker 2: is something that I think will surprise no one.
Speaker 3: It was the optus outage. See.
Speaker 4: I'm so surprised by this because the irony is that
Speaker 4: the people who had the optus outage weren't able to
Speaker 4: google optus outage.
Speaker 1: No.
Speaker 2: But the reason why I'm not surprised is because I
Speaker 2: mean I was affected by the optus s outage. I
Speaker 2: woke up that morning and it was like is the
Speaker 2: world ending? What is happening? And as soon as I
Speaker 2: did get internet again, that was the thing I was googling.
Speaker 2: Or when I and Wi Fi at work, I was
Speaker 2: googling why wasn't my phone working? Like I think everyone
Speaker 2: that was affected, every single optist person ended up googling it.
Speaker 2: But every single or non optist person was googling it
Speaker 2: as well. If you own a small business and you
Speaker 2: run your finances, your fplus machines, your booking system, total
Speaker 2: everything via that it was a hugely, hugely problematic day.
Speaker 2: And also on top of that, the way in which
Speaker 2: that was handled just showed like such a lack of
Speaker 2: understanding as to how everyday people live their lives and
Speaker 2: how fundamental having access to the Internet is.
Speaker 1: Number two I thought would be number one, which is
Speaker 1: the current war in Israel and Gaza high one hundred percent.
Speaker 1: This is why it shocked me because I would have
Speaker 1: actually said that was number one. So surprising that the
Speaker 1: Optus outage beat.
Speaker 2: That I wonder though, is like how do they aggregate
Speaker 2: those searches because people would search for all different things
Speaker 2: that pertain to the war. It's not one singular search,
Speaker 2: whereas optus outage is one singular search. And I think
Speaker 2: that maybe this as a combined search because I think
Speaker 2: so many people are trying to educate themselves on what
Speaker 2: has happened. I would say that this is probably a
Speaker 2: tricky one because there'd be such a scope of Google
Speaker 2: searches that have been done about it.
Speaker 1: Number three is the referendum results Number four is very
Speaker 1: problematic to me. We've spoken about him on the podcast before.
Speaker 1: Andrew Tate, who is the self proclaimed misogynist, the fact
Speaker 1: that he's the fourth and most googled person in the news.
Speaker 1: I'm hoping more people are googling him in shock, horror
Speaker 1: and to find out what his punishments were and to
Speaker 1: learn more about him and his crimes, as opposed to
Speaker 1: googling him out of interest and wanting to follow along
Speaker 1: with his teachings. And I say teachings because he literally
Speaker 1: runs classes on how to be a misogynist.
Speaker 4: Well, yeah, Andrew Tate had his social media taken away,
Speaker 4: so I'm not surprised that people had to google him
Speaker 4: to find out, do you know what I mean? If
Speaker 4: it was an Instagram search and he still had active profiles,
Speaker 4: I think that there would have been people checking out
Speaker 4: his stuff.
Speaker 3: We did like figuring out who he was.
Speaker 4: You know, there's a curiosity around him because everyone was like,
Speaker 4: this man is such a bad person. That immediately makes
Speaker 4: people go, I don't know who it is. I'm gonna
Speaker 4: find out one hundred percent.
Speaker 2: I mean, we spoke about him earlier this year, and
Speaker 2: we spoke about how he is more Google searchers around
Speaker 2: him than Kim Kardashian than other very high pro fast celebrities.
Speaker 2: But I would question that not all of those are
Speaker 2: positive Google searchers. I mean, every single person in this
Speaker 2: room has googled who he is. He is prolific, but
Speaker 2: that does not mean that it's from a positive perspective totally.
Speaker 1: Something that did make me happy was the most googled
Speaker 1: Australians now. The top two most Googled Australians were Sam
Speaker 1: Kerr and Mary Fowler, both of which are Australian football
Speaker 1: slash soccer players. I could not be happier that that
Speaker 1: is who we are googling the most in Australia.
Speaker 2: This is so interesting as well because it was the
Speaker 2: big debate around when the Matilda's were playing and how
Speaker 2: much media attention they garnered, and there was all the
Speaker 2: conversations around.
Speaker 3: The pay parody with how men are paid.
Speaker 2: Within Australian football, and the conversation was well, when it
Speaker 2: is garnering enough attention, then the pay parity will be matched.
Speaker 2: And this is just more proof in the putting, not
Speaker 2: that we needed more, but that the women within Australian
Speaker 2: soccer need to be paid equal to the men.
Speaker 3: If not more would be debatable. Now.
Speaker 1: So when Sam Kerr, Mary Fowler, Michael Clark, which is
Speaker 1: obviously from the big fight he had with Karl Stefanovic,
Speaker 1: everyone remembers there was like this big public fight in NUSA.
Speaker 1: It was filmed viral well, very funny. I think Barris
Speaker 1: contributed to that Google then it was Reyes Walsh and
Speaker 1: Daniel Andrews.
Speaker 2: If you guys want to go and have a look
Speaker 2: at the list yourself, they're all on Daily Oz. There's
Speaker 2: lists upon lists of different things that have been googled
Speaker 2: this year. You can look at what's been the most
Speaker 2: important sport, you can look at what's been the most
Speaker 2: important depths or movies, whatever it is. The only other
Speaker 2: one that I think is quite interesting is the movies.
Speaker 2: The most popular movies this year that have been googled
Speaker 2: are Oppenheimer and Barbie, which should not be a surprise.
Speaker 2: But in terms of box office hits, Barbie eclipsed Oppenheimer,
Speaker 2: But in terms of Google searchers, Oppenheimer was the most popular.
Speaker 2: And I think it's because so many people were interested
Speaker 2: in understanding the history and understanding the story behind why
Speaker 2: that was such a pivotal part of World War Two.
Speaker 3: Okay, well it's.
Speaker 1: Time for vibe or unsubscribed, And I know, Laurie, you
Speaker 1: haven't unsubscribed this week.
Speaker 2: Controversially, I have an unsubscribed today. And I don't know
Speaker 2: how people are going to feel about this, because it
Speaker 2: is a movie that is getting so much airtime, and
Speaker 2: I think so many people are really excited about watching
Speaker 2: it is Leave the World Behind with Julia Roberts. Now
Speaker 2: you about it, Britta, and I told you how much
Speaker 2: I hated it, and then you watched it the next night.
Speaker 2: Now you have conflicting views on it as well. The
Speaker 2: reason why I don't like it is because as much
Speaker 2: as the show itself was very gripping, it's a real thriller,
Speaker 2: like it'll have you on the edge of your seat
Speaker 2: until the end. The end was so bitterly disappointing that
Speaker 2: it almost undid all of the on the edge of
Speaker 2: the SEATNSS. I kind of got to the end of
Speaker 2: it and I was like, is that it? And I
Speaker 2: know for some people you're going to enjoy like how
Speaker 2: conceptual it is in terms of the cinematography and in
Speaker 2: terms of the story, like the storyline itself, the concept
Speaker 2: I quite enjoy as a thing to unpack mentally, But
Speaker 2: was I entertained and did I enjoy the movie itself?
Speaker 3: Not really.
Speaker 4: Movies like that make me feel like when you've been
Speaker 4: on a great date with someone and you think everything's
Speaker 4: so good and then they like ghost you and you're like,
Speaker 4: it was so good for the ninety eight percent, and
Speaker 4: now I'm just left so.
Speaker 3: Disappointed, Like does that then make it a good date
Speaker 3: or a bad date?
Speaker 1: It makes a bad date, No, it does, I disagree,
Speaker 1: but it was still a great date.
Speaker 3: It was a shit ending.
Speaker 1: Look, I'm struggling to decide if I like it or not,
Speaker 1: and the reason is the ending was terrible. It hated
Speaker 1: the ending, but the entire movie until that point, so
Speaker 1: ninety nine percent I was hooked, and I did enjoy
Speaker 1: the movie because I was waiting, So I can't decide
Speaker 1: if I liked it or not. Because the acting was great,
Speaker 1: the story was great, it kept my attention. My anxiety
Speaker 1: was Throughdove the whole time, which is thanks to the
Speaker 1: background music. But then the end let me down, So
Speaker 1: I'm like, does that necessarily make it a bad movie?
Speaker 1: I still enjoyed ninety nine point nine percent of it,
Speaker 1: So I'm on the fence.
Speaker 3: The other part of it as well.
Speaker 2: That I was a little bit like, Eh, I'm not
Speaker 2: really sure was exactly what you said, Britt. I thought
Speaker 2: the movie was very suspenseful, and that's where all the
Speaker 2: thriller aspect came from. But also I thought that the
Speaker 2: acting was a little bit shit, and so I just
Speaker 2: genuinely was disappointed by it. And I thought I was
Speaker 2: gonna love it, and so that's my unsubscribe.
Speaker 1: I loved the acting, but I agree with other stuff.
Speaker 2: I have a very very quick oh, you don't vibe yes,
Speaker 2: Because I'm gonna be hosting the carols in the Gold
Speaker 2: Coast this weekend. So if you are in the Gold Coast,
Speaker 2: if you're in Surface Paradise on Sunday night, Matt and
Speaker 2: I are going to be hosting Carols on the beach.
Speaker 2: It's on like Surface beach. It's gonna be so fun
Speaker 2: for the family. Come down. If you are a Christmas fiend,
Speaker 2: if you like being celebratory, if you like all the
Speaker 2: things that make Christmas as gay and jolly as what
Speaker 2: it is, come down to Carols on the beach because
Speaker 2: we are going to be there. It's free Keisha's they're
Speaker 2: shaking like doing the little money side.
Speaker 3: Why think you've gone? How much money you getting posted?
Speaker 3: No what it is.
Speaker 2: It's going to be so nice if you're a mum
Speaker 2: or you've got kids, like, it's just the best. Carols
Speaker 2: are so so nice, Bring a picnic, blanket down, come down,
Speaker 2: have some fun.
Speaker 3: Very very cute.
Speaker 1: I will not be going because I will be on
Speaker 1: a flight overseas. Okay, well it starts at six pm,
Speaker 1: so don't be late.
Speaker 3: So my vibe this.
Speaker 1: Week is an Instagram page. Her name is Anna Underscore
Speaker 1: Louise Underscore at Underscore Home, So Anna Louise at Home,
Speaker 1: but every word has an underscore. Now she's British three
Speaker 1: point seven million followers and her page is the most
Speaker 1: satisfying page I have ever seen. It is cleaning, hacks
Speaker 1: and home interiors. So you know those pages where people
Speaker 1: do before and afters of like I guess, just cleaning
Speaker 1: or hacks for things that you've never even knew existed
Speaker 1: for your house. It's one of these pages that you
Speaker 1: watch and it's so satisfying. I found this page because
Speaker 1: Ben was so scared of spiders that he sent me
Speaker 1: a hack for keeping spiders out right, and I didn't
Speaker 1: really believe it at the times where you spray lavenders
Speaker 1: at doors and windows and spiders can't come in. And
Speaker 1: it was from this woman. He just stumbled across it.
Speaker 1: Her spider hack has got like twelve point five million
Speaker 1: views on this page. But when you go on the page,
Speaker 1: it's so many different things about making your home smell good,
Speaker 1: little renovation hacks, anything you want, and it's so esthetically
Speaker 1: pleasing to look at. So I cannot now. I'm not
Speaker 1: saying I do any of these, but I love watching it.
Speaker 1: I have an addiction to watching these before and afters
Speaker 1: and declutters and cleaning a stove. I know this sounds
Speaker 1: so bad, but if you ever also tried to clean
Speaker 1: something and you're like, I don't know how to get
Speaker 1: this off.
Speaker 3: She has a hack for everything.
Speaker 2: Because no one ever teaches you had to actually clean proper,
Speaker 2: no one teaches you how to.
Speaker 3: I mean, I do also kind of like that.
Speaker 2: I don't want to be like the female that's been
Speaker 2: brought up to learn how to keep a house, but
Speaker 2: no one taught me how to do it, Like I've
Speaker 2: just figured it out over time.
Speaker 3: Because it is a skill.
Speaker 1: Cleaning is not just like wiping something down right, Like.
Speaker 1: There are so many different products and different ways you
Speaker 1: can mix things to get rid of things or whatever.
Speaker 1: I just go and do yourself a favor. And I
Speaker 1: think that you will appreciate this page. Laura, you will
Speaker 1: as well. Keisha, you're a clean freak. You will appreciate
Speaker 1: this page.
Speaker 2: If anyone's got any black spots on their pants and
Speaker 2: wants to know how to remove it.
Speaker 3: Bit of apple, might have vining errands and cut bi
Speaker 3: carb soda. Here's you and always at home can probably
Speaker 3: do it.
Speaker 4: Yeah, I will say, like a high pressure hose does
Speaker 4: get my juices flowing?
Speaker 3: Oh, it's so satisfying.
Speaker 4: My vibe for this week is a little bit different
Speaker 4: and out of the norm for me. Do you guys
Speaker 4: remember a year ago the former Good Morning America hosts
Speaker 4: Amy Roebuck and TJ. Holmes, they were involved in that
Speaker 4: quote unquote scandalous affair. So they were hosts of the
Speaker 4: show together and then it all came out that they
Speaker 4: were actually in a relationship and it was reported that
Speaker 4: they were having an affair. They have their own podcaster.
Speaker 4: The two in a relationship. A year later, they have
Speaker 4: their own podcast. There's what have we got?
Speaker 3: Are you promoting infidel? Two episodes? Well, this is what
Speaker 3: was interesting. So I kind of kept my.
Speaker 4: Finger on this story for a long time just because
Speaker 4: I found it so different. I was like, Wow, this
Speaker 4: affair has just played out so publicly, and this is
Speaker 4: so interesting.
Speaker 3: They were both suspended from their jobs.
Speaker 4: They have not gone back, and they have been relatively
Speaker 4: quiet throughout the media. We haven't really heard anything from
Speaker 4: them until they released their own podcast, and I felt
Speaker 4: like I listened to fifty minutes of somewhat very interesting
Speaker 4: pr spin. I felt like it was a little bit contrived,
Speaker 4: but I do believe some of the things that they
Speaker 4: were saying in their podcast. They said they started the
Speaker 4: podcast with we lost the jobs we loved for the person.
Speaker 3: That we loved.
Speaker 2: I was like, but wait, didn't they lose the jobs
Speaker 2: because they were both married.
Speaker 3: So the thing is is that and they started a podcasts.
Speaker 4: In their podcast, they both were undergoing divorce proceedings, like
Speaker 4: they already had moved out from their spousers, and they
Speaker 4: both rubbish they were having.
Speaker 3: An affair before that.
Speaker 4: Well, this is what I did actually find was very interesting.
Speaker 4: I believe the fact that they were living in separate homes,
Speaker 4: because there's proof of that, you know, the photos that
Speaker 4: were taken of them were from the apartments that they
Speaker 4: lived in without their spouses, and they kept it very
Speaker 4: quiet because they both had children, and they kind of
Speaker 4: play on this narrative of like, we didn't think we
Speaker 4: were that big of a deal, and I was like,
Speaker 4: I don't know how much I believe that you're very
Speaker 4: much a public figure if you were hosting Good Morning America.
Speaker 4: But the thing that I was waiting for, and the
Speaker 4: thing I did not get is when they.
Speaker 3: First hooked up.
Speaker 4: The whole podcast episode was like, this wasn't an affair.
Speaker 4: We had both separated from our partners before we got together.
Speaker 4: We had been friends for eight years before this, and
Speaker 4: we were really good friends and then we fell in love.
Speaker 4: But they did not talk about the first time that
Speaker 4: they actually like.
Speaker 3: That's because they cheated that sure. I was thinking that.
Speaker 4: I was like, unless the narrative was we never crossed
Speaker 4: the line until this was a thing you would have
Speaker 4: told us about when you first got together.
Speaker 1: Maybe it's coming in a further episode.
Speaker 3: Maybe they've just got me. I don't know.
Speaker 2: I find this very interesting as well, because it's like
Speaker 2: there is this expectation from our morning TV hosts that
Speaker 2: they're people that we welcome into our homes. They're people
Speaker 2: that we need to be trustworthy, reliable, and people that
Speaker 2: we would want to be friends with. And I think
Speaker 2: if you're going to have even the whiff of adultery,
Speaker 2: that's not someone who the majority of people would want
Speaker 2: in their homes, you kind of lose all credibility and trust.
Speaker 2: So I think it is a pretty harsh reality of
Speaker 2: losing your job off the back of something that you
Speaker 2: do in your personal life. But I also understand when
Speaker 2: your whole entire career and persona within media is based
Speaker 2: on your ability to shop to your job and be truthful,
Speaker 2: it does create this duplicity that can't exist absolutely.
Speaker 4: And I think also the brand of a show like that,
Speaker 4: and the brand of the people that they have on
Speaker 4: there is very family oriented totally, and so you have
Speaker 4: this contrast in what is actually going on on screen
Speaker 4: and what is happening behind the scenes. And they say
Speaker 4: a million times in the podcast, we didn't technically break
Speaker 4: any rules at work, blah blah blah, But I'm like,
Speaker 4: it actually doesn't matter when you work in the public space.
Speaker 3: Perception is everything one hundred percent. I agree.
Speaker 4: I just found that this now usually into full gossip
Speaker 4: based kind of things, but this was a particularly interesting one.
Speaker 4: There's many truths to a story, and this is one
Speaker 4: of them, and I wonder how much of it is.
Speaker 3: Actually truthful in its nature.
Speaker 2: All right, well, let's get into answering all your deep,
Speaker 2: dark and burning questions.
Speaker 3: Question number one.
Speaker 1: I gave birth four weeks ago and my partner last
Speaker 1: night said our sex life is shit and it's affecting
Speaker 1: him mentally.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 1: I had a Grade three B tear, so can't have
Speaker 1: sex anyway, not that I even want to. He said
Speaker 1: he doesn't want to spend time with me because I
Speaker 1: never want to do it or even give him a blowjob.
Speaker 1: I really don't want to, so I won't. But I
Speaker 1: also think I have difficulty with sexual intimacy with him
Speaker 1: because after our last two kids, I felt really pressured
Speaker 1: into having sex again three weeks after birth, which was wrong.
Speaker 1: I still had stitches after both berths. Where do I
Speaker 1: go from here? I feel like I have no sexual
Speaker 1: drive towards him, but he thinks I have something wrong
Speaker 1: with me.
Speaker 2: This makes me feel so mad. I feel so mad,
Speaker 2: and I hate that the only response to this is
Speaker 2: what an absolute piece of shit your husband is. And
Speaker 2: that's because you have three children with him now, and
Speaker 2: I can only imagine how horrible this situation must be
Speaker 2: for you. And look, let's just give this guy the
Speaker 2: men of the doubt. Maybe he's amazing in all other
Speaker 2: aspects of your relationship. Maybe he is, you know, a
Speaker 2: considerate and loving partner in every other aspect.
Speaker 3: That ain't considering all love it.
Speaker 2: Yeah, but I would say probably not because if he
Speaker 2: considers and cares about you so little in this time
Speaker 2: when you've just had a baby, especially four weeks after
Speaker 2: having a baby, that he's putting his own sexual gratification
Speaker 2: over your healing, your mental recovery, you having a third baby,
Speaker 2: adjusting to the new life, all of the things, like
Speaker 2: you know, all the things that go into having a baby,
Speaker 2: and he does too, because he's done it twice.
Speaker 3: Now.
Speaker 2: If he's putting his own sexual gratification above all of that,
Speaker 2: then he is a selfish jerk. And there is no
Speaker 2: other word for it. And I know that you say
Speaker 2: that in the past, that you felt pressured to so
Speaker 2: you did it. That's Firstly, it's disgusting and I'm so
Speaker 2: sorry that you felt as though you needed to make
Speaker 2: him happy at a time when you are supposed to
Speaker 2: be the priority and it is okay for you to
Speaker 2: be the priority.
Speaker 4: Ah.
Speaker 2: Man, it's such a reflection of the type of person
Speaker 2: he is and of what he thinks.
Speaker 3: Is important, and that is himself. He's a pig. He's
Speaker 3: a pig. He's a pig.
Speaker 1: And just medically speaking, so you understand a three B
Speaker 1: tear which she has, you can't even do anal so
Speaker 1: not is it just that sex is uncomfortable, like it
Speaker 1: is a proper tear that is affecting both ends the
Speaker 1: fact that he is also manipulating you and gaslighting you
Speaker 1: into thinking that something is wrong with you.
Speaker 3: Yeah, something is wrong with me.
Speaker 1: I'm torn open. I just gave birth, I have two
Speaker 1: other kids. Three weeks ago, twenty one days ago. I
Speaker 1: was torn open, went through my body, went through something traumatic.
Speaker 3: You know, that's what's wrong with me.
Speaker 2: But you know what, this is a question that comes
Speaker 2: up a bit and for a lot of women, there
Speaker 2: is this feeling of responsibility to keep their partner happy. Right,
Speaker 2: There's this feeling of like, well, I know it's disgusting,
Speaker 2: but it happens, and it would be remissive us not
Speaker 2: to talk about it. There is this feeling of like
Speaker 2: I'm letting my partner down because I don't feel like
Speaker 2: I can be intimate with them at the moment. Sometimes
Speaker 2: because you physically can't be. At the four week mark,
Speaker 2: you're not supposed to have sex until six weeks. Certainly,
Speaker 2: if you've had an episiotomy or a severe tear, you
Speaker 2: shouldn't be having sex until. You know, for some people
Speaker 2: it's much longer than that. For some people's months and
Speaker 2: months and months, And that's okay. It doesn't mean that
Speaker 2: you don't have any intimacy with your partner necessarily.
Speaker 3: But this idea of like.
Speaker 2: Giving them a blowjob, like it's your job that you
Speaker 2: need to give them a blowjob, it makes me feel
Speaker 2: so like viscerally fucking angry, because of course you don't
Speaker 2: want to. Of course you don't want to do anything.
Speaker 2: Of Course you probably don't even want to cut a
Speaker 2: little touch your husband like those All of those feelings
Speaker 2: are okay, And that's not to say that they're not
Speaker 2: going to feel some sense of rejection if there's no
Speaker 2: intimacy at all, But the fact that he places the
Speaker 2: priority of intimacy around him being relieved as in physically ejaculating,
Speaker 2: as in having someone given a blowjob, or being able
Speaker 2: to have sex is just truly, truly revolting. But like,
Speaker 2: I don't know many new moms who are in the
Speaker 2: headspace to psych themselves up to be able to give
Speaker 2: their partners a blowjob, like I.
Speaker 1: Certainly couldn't a mom thing just to psych yourself up.
Speaker 1: As a non mum, everyone likes blowjobs, no.
Speaker 2: But as a mom, there's so much pressure to do
Speaker 2: everything and to beat everything to everyone. And you are
Speaker 2: so touched out, You were so tired, you were so
Speaker 2: psychologically spent. Also, you're dealing with this like new identity.
Speaker 2: You have two other children that you also have to
Speaker 2: cater to and keep alive. The last thing you need
Speaker 2: to do is be responsible for sucking your husband. And
Speaker 2: I'm so sorry that you were in a situation where
Speaker 2: he is making you feel like you were the problem,
Speaker 2: because he is the problem. Well.
Speaker 1: Also, nothing makes you want to do something less than
Speaker 1: when you're being forced to do being told you don't
Speaker 1: want to do, like like that is not what's going
Speaker 1: to make you be like, oh my god, you know what,
Speaker 1: I do want to give you a blow job because
Speaker 1: you put your dick in my face, and yeah, like
Speaker 1: it doesn't help the situation. It's going to push you
Speaker 1: further and further away and cause a bigger and bigger divide.
Speaker 2: Because there's nothing around like, I mean this idea of saying, oh,
Speaker 2: our sex life is shit. I'm not getting what I
Speaker 2: want out of this, which, of course he's not like,
Speaker 2: that's not even the consideration at this moment, but it's
Speaker 2: like there's no intimacy there from him. There's no like
Speaker 2: making you feel special. There's no carrying the load or
Speaker 2: doing all the things to make you feel desired and loved.
Speaker 2: And you know what, maybe you don't even want to
Speaker 2: feel desired or loved at this moment. I fucking wouldn't either.
Speaker 2: You're four weeks out. This would be a very different
Speaker 2: conversation if it was like you were at the ten
Speaker 2: month mark and you still didn't want to have sex
Speaker 2: with your husband and he was like, look, I feel
Speaker 2: like our sex life has dwindled. Can we have some
Speaker 2: conversations around this? Because this is important to me, but
Speaker 2: it's the language around it it's the forcefulness of it,
Speaker 2: it's the expectation of it, it's the duty of it.
Speaker 2: It's all of these things which are so deeply steeped
Speaker 2: in misogyny and are so fundamentally wrong. And I think now,
Speaker 2: I mean, we've established that it's fucked, and I'm sure
Speaker 2: everyone listening to this feels just as angry as we do.
Speaker 3: But what do you do? That's the big question?
Speaker 2: Right, You've got a four week old baby, you have
Speaker 2: two other children, and you're married to a man who
Speaker 2: treats you like this.
Speaker 3: What do you do?
Speaker 2: How do you have these conversations with him? Do you
Speaker 2: go and speak to a couple's therapist? Do you speak
Speaker 2: to him openly around his treatment of you, his expectation
Speaker 2: of women? Like, how do you navigate this next phase?
Speaker 2: Because you're putting boundaries in place, and you're saying that
Speaker 2: with the last two kids, you did just concede and
Speaker 2: you did things that you didn't want to do, and
Speaker 2: you satisfied him in a way that you're not prepared
Speaker 2: to this time. And it's like, how do you make
Speaker 2: sure that you maintain those boundaries and that you get
Speaker 2: the respect from your husband that you deserve?
Speaker 1: Show him a picture, pull him up a graphic picture
Speaker 1: of what the tear looks like in your vagina to
Speaker 1: your anus, and say this is what is going on
Speaker 1: right now, Like this isn't I didn't just push a
Speaker 1: baby out And I'm like, oh, I'm a little bit sore.
Speaker 1: Like show him showing what's going to happen, and then
Speaker 1: say do you understand? And if he still does not
Speaker 1: care and he's like, well I still want to fuck,
Speaker 1: then like you have bigger, deeper problems you need to
Speaker 1: work through. But I think, first and foremost, make sure
Speaker 1: you know before you take action that he has this
Speaker 1: complete understanding. I mean, I feel like we're dumbing it
Speaker 1: down for him, which I'm not saying we should do,
Speaker 1: but just in case benefit of the doubt he doesn't
Speaker 1: understand what is going on downstairs, like if he just
Speaker 1: knows as a three B who knows what that means?
Speaker 1: As I said, this is really really dumbing it down
Speaker 1: for him. But you're not going to exactly pack up
Speaker 1: your kids and leave. Yeah, totally, that's the thing so hard.
Speaker 1: But I agree with you, But I also disagree with you, Britt,
Speaker 1: because I think it shouldn't have to come to you showing,
Speaker 1: of course, physical evidence of the reason why you're not
Speaker 1: prepared to have sex at the four week mark. Even
Speaker 1: if you had had the most streamline quote unquote easy birth,
Speaker 1: maybe you cough that baby out too pushes and it
Speaker 1: was done, there should still not be an expectation on
Speaker 1: you to have sex or sexually satisfy your husband. That
Speaker 1: should be so far down the priority list for him
Speaker 1: at that point in time.
Speaker 3: And the fact that but it's not, yeah, and the
Speaker 3: fact that.
Speaker 2: He can't deprioritize his own needs and put you at
Speaker 2: the center at a time when you are supposed to
Speaker 2: be the center of this is so deeply fucking selfish
Speaker 2: and it's so gross. I hate that you're in a
Speaker 2: situation where you have to use a physical.
Speaker 3: Ailment i e.
Speaker 2: A tear as the excuse for not wanting to have
Speaker 2: sex when they could be psychological. There could be so
Speaker 2: many other reasons after having a baby that you don't
Speaker 2: want to have sex as well. You know, going back
Speaker 2: to something that we said at the very beginning, a
Speaker 2: person who deeply lacks care for you in this way
Speaker 2: can't possibly be great in every other aspect of the relationship.
Speaker 2: Like this is not something that lives in a silo,
Speaker 2: you know, like he's not behaving like this, but has
Speaker 2: always been a supportive, empathetic, caring, nurturing husband and father.
Speaker 2: So I would say, obviously, this is a big, screaming
Speaker 2: red flag, But look at the other red flags. What
Speaker 2: are the other things and the other behaviors that he's
Speaker 2: doing that are problematic, that are modeling a relationship that
Speaker 2: you may not want to be in or that you
Speaker 2: may not want to be reflected in a parental figure
Speaker 2: for your children. And I'm not saying that you need
Speaker 2: to walk out of your relationship. I'm not saying that
Speaker 2: you need to just break up with him and go.
Speaker 2: But this, to me would be the start of some
Speaker 2: very very big conversations around with myself and potentially with
Speaker 2: my husband when it got to that point, around whether
Speaker 2: I would want to be in a relationship with someone
Speaker 2: who had such a disrespect for me.
Speaker 1: Of course, but then this, and this is why I say,
Speaker 1: let's not get ahead of ourselves. She's just had a baby,
Speaker 1: she's got two other kids with him. We need to
Speaker 1: take this back to basics, and that is first and foremost,
Speaker 1: make sure he understands the why before you go into
Speaker 1: like I'm going to leave you, and let's like line
Speaker 1: up all our red flags, like this is a situation
Speaker 1: that you need to deal with immediately because it is
Speaker 1: an immediate situation. It's happening to you right now, and
Speaker 1: it's not going to go away anytime soon because you
Speaker 1: might not get that sex drive back for a long
Speaker 1: time physically, but mentally, that's not coming back while he's
Speaker 1: acting like this, and he needs to understand that. So
Speaker 1: break it down with him and make sure there is
Speaker 1: an understanding. And then, as I always say, his response,
Speaker 1: once you know you have explained it in every single
Speaker 1: way possible, his response to that is the telltale sign
Speaker 1: of what will happen next.
Speaker 3: Question number two is a bit of a lighter one.
Speaker 3: All right.
Speaker 2: My friends and I were out on Saturday night for
Speaker 2: some fun. Drinks and dancing were involved. We normally buy
Speaker 2: rounds of drinks for each other instead of purchasing individually,
Speaker 2: So when it was my next turn, I started to
Speaker 2: friendly chat and flirt with a really hot guy who
Speaker 2: was in line, and he offered to buy me a drink.
Speaker 3: I said, I appreciated it, but I had to.
Speaker 2: Buy a round for all my friends, And he said no, no, no,
Speaker 2: don't worry, I'll get it for your friends as well.
Speaker 2: So not only did he buy one round, he also
Speaker 2: bought shots for all of my friends too.
Speaker 3: So that was it.
Speaker 2: We went on and started dancing, and a little while
Speaker 2: later it was time for another round of drinks. We
Speaker 2: all went up to the bar and my friend said, well,
Speaker 2: it's your round again. She goes on to say that
Speaker 2: she argued with her a little bit because not only
Speaker 2: did she get one round of drinks, but she got
Speaker 2: two rounds of drinks for her friends, even though there
Speaker 2: was nothing monetary that was exchanged there.
Speaker 3: Now, they had a.
Speaker 2: Bit of a joke about it, but basically what happened
Speaker 2: is that she ended up paying for the round of
Speaker 2: a drinks. But she hates that she's been made to
Speaker 2: feel like she's the tight ass in that situation when
Speaker 2: really she feels like she has done her job. And
Speaker 2: so it caused a bit of a debate in their
Speaker 2: friendship group. And the question is, if you have scored
Speaker 2: a round of drinks for your friend, are you then
Speaker 2: responsible for buying the next round?
Speaker 4: Yes?
Speaker 3: I agree, fucking yes, you still have to buy the
Speaker 3: next round.
Speaker 1: Like, well done, you got a bonus round, but you
Speaker 1: still didn't pay for it.
Speaker 3: Like, get as many bonus rounds.
Speaker 1: As you want to, you still have to put your
Speaker 1: monetary round down one hundred percent.
Speaker 2: Like unless you went up and you were like, Okay,
Speaker 2: I'm going to do the groundwork. I want to make
Speaker 2: out with this guy. You know, this is my thing.
Speaker 2: I'm going to invest time. Well, here it is, you're
Speaker 2: selling your body. I'm fine with that. Okay, if you're
Speaker 2: going to invest your time into this person so that
Speaker 2: he's then paying for your drinks also not a nice
Speaker 2: thing to do. But like if you did that, I'd
Speaker 2: be like cool, you just stood at a bar and
Speaker 2: like chatted to someone and he bought some drinks for you.
Speaker 2: Like that doesn't negate your round. That's a very minimal
Speaker 2: effort for rounds.
Speaker 3: It's one hundred percent of bonus round. This is the
Speaker 3: easiest question I've ever had. You've been a titus.
Speaker 1: I get why you're stoked, and it's bragging rights. Yes,
Speaker 1: high fives all round. Like you did well, Like you're
Speaker 1: done good. You went out into the wild, you hunted
Speaker 1: and gathered, and you gathered the drinks and you brought
Speaker 1: them back to your tribe. And then they you know,
Speaker 1: well done, but you still need to put the money
Speaker 1: down for the next round.
Speaker 3: I totally agree. Okay, okay, we've literally never had an
Speaker 3: easier question. Yeah, the toilet paper one.
Speaker 1: I think that was easy.
Speaker 2: Also, like you never want to be Yeah, the toilet
Speaker 2: paper one was very easy. You never want to be
Speaker 2: seen as being the titles. And if it means like
Speaker 2: if you haven't spent any money at all, and the
Speaker 2: thing that's making you look like a Titus is the
Speaker 2: fact that you've not financially contributed and everyone else has,
Speaker 2: that's a you problem, not of them problem.
Speaker 1: I would have said, if you can go out and
Speaker 1: get us a round of drinks for free, I will
Speaker 1: buy the next round, and then you get two bonus rounds.
Speaker 2: Yeah, or maybe it's something that you have to kind
Speaker 2: of specify this is okay, I've got one more thing.
Speaker 2: I know we've said this was easy, but I'm unpacking
Speaker 2: it now. If you had said when it was your round, guys,
Speaker 2: if I can get someone to buy this round of
Speaker 2: drinks for us for free, that's my round done, because
Speaker 2: then it doesn't seem like it was just opportunistic. The
Speaker 2: thing is you didn't go there expecting that this guy
Speaker 2: was going to pay for your drinks. You went there,
Speaker 2: he offered, and it was an opportunistic purchase.
Speaker 3: You know, That's what happened. And so you tried to
Speaker 3: claim of engagement.
Speaker 2: Yeah, you've got to have that conversation first. You get
Speaker 2: to say, I'm going I'm gonna hunt, I'm going to
Speaker 2: gather and I'm going to get us some drinks for free.
Speaker 2: And then I'm not going to pay for the next one. Yeah,
Speaker 2: and I'm going to brag abut to thrust of my
Speaker 2: life perfect?
Speaker 3: Okay? Question number three.
Speaker 1: I have another silly, lighthearted one, but I think it
Speaker 1: affects a lot of people. I'm single, and whenever I
Speaker 1: go away with my friends and family, I always get
Speaker 1: I always get the trundle bed or.
Speaker 3: Or the couch. Been there. All the couples get the
Speaker 3: double beds.
Speaker 1: Even if I go away with my girlfriends, they refuse
Speaker 1: to sleep on the air mattress on the floor.
Speaker 3: It's just like it's a default.
Speaker 1: Because I'm a single person, should it be okay for
Speaker 1: me to ask to pay less for the accommodation or
Speaker 1: another tit ask question? Because no, I don't think this
Speaker 1: is tight as no, no, But it pertains to whether you're
Speaker 1: being a tit ask. Should it be okay for me
Speaker 1: to ask to pay less for the accommodation because I
Speaker 1: get the shit bed on the floor when everyone else
Speaker 1: gets a proper comfy bed.
Speaker 2: Okay, I have I know you have feelings about this
Speaker 2: brick because for so long, being the single one, you
Speaker 2: would be.
Speaker 3: Relegated to the fold out here it is, Dude, I've
Speaker 3: had everything. I get the dog kennel. If I'm the
Speaker 3: single person we're away, I'm getting all the shit, all right.
Speaker 2: I think if you are traveling with just your girlfriends
Speaker 2: and you have been relegated to the shittest bed in
Speaker 2: the house and it's like doesn't even have a room
Speaker 2: and it's on the floor and you're just traveling with
Speaker 2: your girlfriends and their partners are not there, then yeah.
Speaker 3: Fuck that pay less Like that's ridiculous.
Speaker 1: Papers is a rocket, Like you all need papers as
Speaker 1: a rock, and whoever wins fair and square for the
Speaker 1: bed on the floor gets the bed on the floor.
Speaker 3: Totally.
Speaker 2: But the fact that that seems to be the expectation
Speaker 2: in your friendship group just because you're single, I think
Speaker 2: that that more. I don't actually think that has anything
Speaker 2: to do with you being single. I think that has
Speaker 2: to do with you being more agreeable, and they're just like, oh,
Speaker 2: she's always fine with it, so we'll let her have it.
Speaker 2: I think that you just need to speak up for
Speaker 2: yourself in those situations.
Speaker 1: I've been this person my entire life, like with my
Speaker 1: family and my friends, I'm always I've always been a
Speaker 1: single person, which is fine, and ninety percent of the
Speaker 1: time I don't care.
Speaker 3: It's fine. But I remember I cracked it one year.
Speaker 1: It's not even that it's the ship bed, but it's
Speaker 1: the ship room, the shit everything, And I get why
Speaker 1: it's like you have to sleep in the lounge room
Speaker 1: because you're on your own. Maybe it's just the expectation
Speaker 1: around the fact that, like there's no consideration and there's
Speaker 1: never even a conversation about, oh, maybe she doesn't want
Speaker 1: to sleep in the kennel tonight, maybe we should bring
Speaker 1: her inside. So I think it's the idea of being like, Okay,
Speaker 1: maybe we should paper.
Speaker 3: This is a rocker bed.
Speaker 1: Maybe you know, we all get double beds. We're all here,
Speaker 1: it's one night, whatever it is. I remember one prime
Speaker 1: example of I had to go away with my family.
Speaker 1: But we were sharing a room, Sherry Jay and myself.
Speaker 1: We were sharing a room and this is so this
Speaker 1: is actually so dumb. But there was one big, normal
Speaker 1: bed double bed. Then there was another blow up double
Speaker 1: bed that was at their foot of the bed. It
Speaker 1: was almost like kids that were sleeping away with their parents.
Speaker 1: And it was just like automatic that I was going
Speaker 1: to sleep on the blow up And I just remember saying,
Speaker 1: do you know what I want a real bed for?
Speaker 1: Once we're in the same room we're all sharing, you
Speaker 1: can have the blow up double bed because for the
Speaker 1: last ten years straight, I've been the one that's like
Speaker 1: on the floor everywhere. And they were like, fair play,
Speaker 1: take the double bed, We'll take the shitty bed at
Speaker 1: the end.
Speaker 3: And that was it. And I only needed that one.
Speaker 3: I only needed to be seen just one.
Speaker 1: But I think the friend one, in all seriousness, the
Speaker 1: friend one is easy. Like you guys just need to
Speaker 1: be doing a paper is a rock, draw a name
Speaker 1: out of a hat.
Speaker 3: If there's one shit.
Speaker 1: Situation and you've all paid the same amount of money,
Speaker 1: just draw a name out of a hat. Just don't
Speaker 1: let them walk away you next time?
Speaker 2: Yeah, I mean I agree with you, Britta, and I
Speaker 2: think that this comes down more to the feeling that
Speaker 2: you have that you're not as relevant, you're not as
Speaker 2: like valued, that you're just going to be expected to
Speaker 2: take the shit option, because it does happen. Whenever you
Speaker 2: go and stay in an airbnb. There's always that shit
Speaker 2: room that has bunk beds in it, or like some
Speaker 2: sort of like crappy little room that feels like a cupboard.
Speaker 2: And when you're the single person that's allocated to you.
Speaker 2: The only thing that I think is important to keep
Speaker 2: perspective on is that normally, maybe it's different if you're
Speaker 2: traveling with your family, but normally if you're traveling with
Speaker 2: your friends. They break down the cost of an Airbnb
Speaker 2: or of a group holiday per person, right, so if
Speaker 2: you're each paying two hundred dollars per person. But the
Speaker 2: thing is is so just say, like in your instance,
Speaker 2: for it, there's two rooms, one is infinitely better than
Speaker 2: the other. One room someone is getting for two hundred
Speaker 2: dollars and the other room two people are paying four
Speaker 2: hundred dollars for. So you would expect that as a couple,
Speaker 2: if you're paying four hundred dollars between you to stay
Speaker 2: in one room that that room would be better than
Speaker 2: the one that the single person has, And I think
Speaker 2: that that just comes down to, like the equation of maths,
Speaker 2: the value for money. Unfortunately, when there's two of you,
Speaker 2: you've got more money to put into.
Speaker 3: A group holiday.
Speaker 2: That's how I feel about it, and I'm also I
Speaker 2: don't want to stay in the room that doesn't have
Speaker 2: the nice bed in.
Speaker 1: It selfish no one does question three. The other day,
Speaker 1: my partner of nearly eight years and I were discussing fantasies.
Speaker 1: I brought it up because you know, you want to
Speaker 1: keep the spark and keep things a little interesting. I
Speaker 1: told him I'd always had the fantasy of having sex
Speaker 1: in public, and he told me that he had always
Speaker 1: wanted to have a threesome. I know it's pretty common
Speaker 1: fantasy for guys, but I'm feeling a bit rocked by this.
Speaker 1: I'm only sexually attracted to men, so I don't really
Speaker 1: find the idea of having sex with another woman appealing.
Speaker 1: I don't want to completely shut him down, especially because
Speaker 1: I was the one that brought up the idea of
Speaker 1: fantasies in the first place. I don't really know what
Speaker 1: to do from here. Have you got any advice? Is
Speaker 1: there a middle ground? Yes, there's a middle ground. Have
Speaker 1: a threesome with two men? Fine, see how he deals
Speaker 1: with that. Fantasies are just that it's okay to talk
Speaker 1: about them. You don't have to act on them.
Speaker 2: Like if his fantasy sits outside one that you're comfortable with,
Speaker 2: then the conversation that you have is like okay, like
Speaker 2: maybe we can watch threesome porn, or maybe we can
Speaker 2: I don't know.
Speaker 3: I guess there's other things.
Speaker 2: I don't think there's many other things you can do
Speaker 2: except from actually have the threesome. But you can acknowledge
Speaker 2: that that's a fantasy for him, but it's something that
Speaker 2: you don't want to do, especially if you have zero
Speaker 2: sexual desire, zero interest yourself in bringing a third party
Speaker 2: into your relationship. Which is can we just and I know,
Speaker 2: we want to normalize all the different things that people
Speaker 2: do in relationships. It is and will and could change
Speaker 2: your relationship to having a reasm it can have.
Speaker 3: Yeah, we had a big reasonable question.
Speaker 2: As much as we want to be sexually liberal and
Speaker 2: say like you can do whatever you want, you can
Speaker 2: experience whatever it is that you want to experience. If
Speaker 2: you don't want to, you don't have to. And there's
Speaker 2: going to be a big difference between having sex in
Speaker 2: public and fucking someone else in your relationship. I would
Speaker 2: say they're very different fantasies some of them, and one
Speaker 2: of them is much more complicated than the other unless
Speaker 2: you get arrested. So like that is definitely a consideration.
Speaker 2: And I guess it's great that he voiced it to you.
Speaker 2: It's great that he made it known. You don't have
Speaker 2: to act on it, and that's okay.
Speaker 1: But the other thing is, I mean, the thing that
Speaker 1: stands out for me is you say, I don't want
Speaker 1: to shut it down because I brought up the idea
Speaker 1: of talking about our fantasies. Because you bring up a
Speaker 1: conversation doesn't mean you have to do it. Just you said,
Speaker 1: let's talk about a fantasies.
Speaker 3: FU. Yeah, a threesome, Like it doesn't work like that.
Speaker 1: Sometimes the idea of talking about fantasies is enough to
Speaker 1: bring spark in because just the thought of it and
Speaker 1: the discussion of what it would be is the excitement
Speaker 1: that you need. But you do not to be clear,
Speaker 1: you do not need to go and have a threesome,
Speaker 1: right now, because you brought up the conversation of fantasy.
Speaker 2: And you're not shouting it to Like, you could talk
Speaker 2: about going to Europe, doesn't mean you have to go
Speaker 2: to Europe, do you know? I mean you could talk
Speaker 2: about one of men jumping whatever. Yeah, No, I'm not
Speaker 2: like important, I brought it up. No, I agree with you.
Speaker 2: I think threesomes it's a very common fantasy that a
Speaker 2: lot of people have. Does that mean that most people
Speaker 2: are okay with having them in their relationship? No, I
Speaker 2: would say that there are lots of people who are
Speaker 2: explorative and experimental and like are quite happy to try,
Speaker 2: or maybe you have had one in their life.
Speaker 3: I would not say.
Speaker 2: And this is just completely me blanket statement and it's
Speaker 2: not based on anything other than my feelings. I don't
Speaker 2: think it would be that common for people who are
Speaker 2: in long term relationships to go and have threesomes. I
Speaker 2: think that that is a rarity, and that's why we
Speaker 2: like to talk about it, because it is a fantasy,
Speaker 2: because it is naughty, because it isn't common. And so
Speaker 2: I think it's okay that he's said it. I think
Speaker 2: it's okay that he's spoken about it with you and
Speaker 2: been honest enough. I don't think it has to breed
Speaker 2: an insecurity in you that he wants to run away
Speaker 2: and do it. The thing is he's always thought about
Speaker 2: It's always been a fantasy. It's been there for the
Speaker 2: last eight years. He hasn't acted on it, and you
Speaker 2: don't have to now. But I guess it does raise
Speaker 2: some questions, though, doesn't it? Bret Like if Matt said
Speaker 2: to me that he had a fantasy, and because I
Speaker 2: brought the brought it up to him and I wanted
Speaker 2: to spice our relationship up, and then he said that
Speaker 2: he'd had this fantasy he'd never acted on, there would
Speaker 2: be a part of me that would want to please him.
Speaker 2: They would be a part of me that would want
Speaker 2: to do the thing that he wanted, even if it
Speaker 2: made me feel a little bit uncomfortable, because I don't
Speaker 2: want to begrudge him of something.
Speaker 1: Oh, I couldn't be further from the truth. But I
Speaker 1: never get mean a threesome with another woman neither.
Speaker 3: Do not care what it is.
Speaker 1: It's not my thing and I'm not going to do
Speaker 1: it because someone else wants me to do it.
Speaker 3: Yeah, well that's what I was gonna say.
Speaker 2: Is like, even though there would be a little part
Speaker 2: of me that would want to asking me jokes, even
Speaker 2: though that would be weird that you didn't see me
Speaker 2: stop asking, Like it was very quiet in the corner there,
Speaker 2: Like it's been me and Matt who are like Bretney
Speaker 2: knock on the door.
Speaker 1: Yeah, I'm going to have that threesome that we've always
Speaker 1: stop asking me.
Speaker 3: I'm not coming over, okay. Yeah.
Speaker 2: Like what I'm saying is I empathize with your want
Speaker 2: and that's because you care about your partner's sexual desires
Speaker 2: and needs.
Speaker 3: But do you owe that to him? No? Please don't
Speaker 3: go and have a threesome against your will.
Speaker 2: No, it'll also if you're not fully into it and
Speaker 2: fully subscribe to it, it'll fuck your relationship, hondy because
Speaker 2: it will make you insecure handy.
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